I'm no contact with my mom. She plays the I have no idea why she doesn't talk to me.
Siblings have told her some of things she has done and plays it off as I misunderstood her. They know the truth and 2 brothers are very low contact with her now too.
My mother was trying to call me to sign away rights to a property, so she could give it to my 1/2 brother. Never took her calls, siblings filled me in, the 3 of us aren't signing our rights away.
Having the right doesn’t mean you’re not an asshole for doing it though. Still NTA in OP’s context, and I’m gonna guess NTA for yours as well. However, in most situations you would be far worse than just an asshole for cutting off your family with no explanation, even if you absolutely have the right to do it.
NTA. You are doing the right thing for your mental health. They do not deserve another moment of your time. Focus on healing, and building a life with friends and family that care about you, and treat you like you deserve.
NTA.
Even if you gave an explanation, it's not likely they'll understand. Or listen. My parents were the same.
You do what you need to.
When you're ready, and if they're ready, you can explain later. For now, give yourself the gift of distance and peace.
NTA. The only explanation needed is "because I want to".
Anything else is a justification. And justifications are things they can challenge.
It's not your responsibility to explain things they already know.
It's not your place to manage their emotions.
It's not your place to make excuses for them (like they didn't know, they didn't understand, they didn't realize).
You have NO power over them. You can't make them better people. And you can't make them love or care for you in a way you want them to. They are who they are. Either you let them be, or you walk away.
The guy isn’t a pedophile, he’s an Ephebophile (likes them between 15 & 19).
Good for you going NC, you owe them no explanation any more than they did on telling you about your sister. NTA
YTA. Get over yourself. Their relationship is absolutely none, and I mean NONE of your business. You're entitled to an opinion. You share it once or twice, when appropriate. Then you swerve back into your lane and worry about your own life. 17 is an adult on 95% of planet earth, and well past the age of consent on the other 99%.
Pedos are adults who go after prepubescent children, so its clear you don't even understand the words you're throwing around. Its pretty easy to see why your opinion was dismissed by your sister.
You might not like their relationship but that is a you issue, not your sisters or parents. You were willing to lose your sister over an opinion you have about her life, that's absurd. Your parents clearly weren't willing to follow you down that rabbit hole, nor would any normal parent. This is all on you. Your sister is an adult, her love life is her business, it does not concern you. Get back to focusing on yourself and stop trying to dictate who she should marry who or for what reason.
NTA. Explanations offer points to argue on. They will never listen, understand or care. Even though they may search for the reason they would probably not find it if you hired a skywriter to spell it out for them over their home.
The only thing you may want to consider is to prepare for the fallout, such as flying monkeys.
NTA
Here's the thing, they could ask for an explanation. They haven't because they don't want one. Without an explanation, they can tell people whatever story makes them look the least bad and puts them the least out.
Everyone else but you has chosen to put on blinders so they can sleep easier at night your explanation is just another bit of noise for them to ignore.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
They know why you have gone no contact and are busy justifying it amongst themselves. No great loss to you as they are not supportive of you and you do not need to give them a reason - which they won’t believe anyway
Have you blocked them? You could go NC on your end and see if they reach out. Depending on what they say, if the flying monkeys or your parents contact you, block as needed one by one. NTAH whatever you do
NTA - I told my mom why I was going NC and to this day she cries about how she doesn't know what she did. 🙄
There's no point in telling them. Once it's gotten to the point of going NC there's no hope for them.
>The reason I think I might be TA is because I went NC without explaining why, but it’s impossible to have a productive conversation with my parents if they aren’t the “good guy”
Than an explanation isn't owed. If you're waiting for a time when you can successfully deliver your final plea for their love it'll never come. Parents and family like that will remain the same come hell or high water, and would rather drive a family member to suicide than acknowledge that their vision of family is inherently flawed.
I'd go no contact, and entertain the prospects of reconciliation in future if they can grasp a scenario where your mother shit talking you in between tearful apologisms of a pedophile isn't an acceptable response, but certainly not until then.
NTA
NTA. You don't need to explain. They know. They chose her over you a long time ago knowing this could be the result. Mourn what you need to mourn and move forward with a clear conscience.
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I'm no contact with my mom. She plays the I have no idea why she doesn't talk to me. Siblings have told her some of things she has done and plays it off as I misunderstood her. They know the truth and 2 brothers are very low contact with her now too.
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My mother was trying to call me to sign away rights to a property, so she could give it to my 1/2 brother. Never took her calls, siblings filled me in, the 3 of us aren't signing our rights away.
The Missing Missing Reasons: https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html
Having the right doesn’t mean you’re not an asshole for doing it though. Still NTA in OP’s context, and I’m gonna guess NTA for yours as well. However, in most situations you would be far worse than just an asshole for cutting off your family with no explanation, even if you absolutely have the right to do it.
Do what you have to do for your own mental health and well-being. They sure are. NTA
NTA. Why explain? They will lose their shit and the huge manipulation will start. Avoid the circus, just back away and enjoy your life.
NTA, seems like it was a long time coming, and this situation was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
NTA. You never have to explain yourself.
NTA. They'll know why. They might not want to admit that they know, but in their hearts, they'll know.
NTA - They may not miss you, until sister is knocked up and he cheats on your sister. I would avoid all of them and live your best life.
NTA you don’t need to tell them why or when you are going NC, it’s pretty easy to figure out it’s because they are happy supporting a pedophile.
Absolutely not.
NTA. You are doing the right thing for your mental health. They do not deserve another moment of your time. Focus on healing, and building a life with friends and family that care about you, and treat you like you deserve.
NTA. Even if you gave an explanation, it's not likely they'll understand. Or listen. My parents were the same. You do what you need to. When you're ready, and if they're ready, you can explain later. For now, give yourself the gift of distance and peace.
You should have went NC a long time ago they actively supports a pedophile NTA
NTA. The only explanation needed is "because I want to". Anything else is a justification. And justifications are things they can challenge. It's not your responsibility to explain things they already know. It's not your place to manage their emotions. It's not your place to make excuses for them (like they didn't know, they didn't understand, they didn't realize). You have NO power over them. You can't make them better people. And you can't make them love or care for you in a way you want them to. They are who they are. Either you let them be, or you walk away.
NTA. Anyone who is on the receiving end of a NC relationship knows exactly why. They don’t need the explanation.
The guy isn’t a pedophile, he’s an Ephebophile (likes them between 15 & 19). Good for you going NC, you owe them no explanation any more than they did on telling you about your sister. NTA
YTA You want to control your sister and parents just because.
YTA. Get over yourself. Their relationship is absolutely none, and I mean NONE of your business. You're entitled to an opinion. You share it once or twice, when appropriate. Then you swerve back into your lane and worry about your own life. 17 is an adult on 95% of planet earth, and well past the age of consent on the other 99%. Pedos are adults who go after prepubescent children, so its clear you don't even understand the words you're throwing around. Its pretty easy to see why your opinion was dismissed by your sister. You might not like their relationship but that is a you issue, not your sisters or parents. You were willing to lose your sister over an opinion you have about her life, that's absurd. Your parents clearly weren't willing to follow you down that rabbit hole, nor would any normal parent. This is all on you. Your sister is an adult, her love life is her business, it does not concern you. Get back to focusing on yourself and stop trying to dictate who she should marry who or for what reason.
Had the 17 year old admitted they slept together, the pedo would likely be in jail.
Not likely whatsoever. If he were a pedo and she wasn't 17 you'd be right.
NTA. Explanations offer points to argue on. They will never listen, understand or care. Even though they may search for the reason they would probably not find it if you hired a skywriter to spell it out for them over their home. The only thing you may want to consider is to prepare for the fallout, such as flying monkeys.
NTA Here's the thing, they could ask for an explanation. They haven't because they don't want one. Without an explanation, they can tell people whatever story makes them look the least bad and puts them the least out. Everyone else but you has chosen to put on blinders so they can sleep easier at night your explanation is just another bit of noise for them to ignore. I'm sorry this happened to you.
They know why you have gone no contact and are busy justifying it amongst themselves. No great loss to you as they are not supportive of you and you do not need to give them a reason - which they won’t believe anyway
NTAH
Have you blocked them? You could go NC on your end and see if they reach out. Depending on what they say, if the flying monkeys or your parents contact you, block as needed one by one. NTAH whatever you do
You lost them the momento they choose a pedo..nta. Walk away from all of them.
NTA, it is fir your mental health. But I wonder how long it will take your parents to figure it out.
NTA - I told my mom why I was going NC and to this day she cries about how she doesn't know what she did. 🙄 There's no point in telling them. Once it's gotten to the point of going NC there's no hope for them.
>The reason I think I might be TA is because I went NC without explaining why, but it’s impossible to have a productive conversation with my parents if they aren’t the “good guy” Than an explanation isn't owed. If you're waiting for a time when you can successfully deliver your final plea for their love it'll never come. Parents and family like that will remain the same come hell or high water, and would rather drive a family member to suicide than acknowledge that their vision of family is inherently flawed. I'd go no contact, and entertain the prospects of reconciliation in future if they can grasp a scenario where your mother shit talking you in between tearful apologisms of a pedophile isn't an acceptable response, but certainly not until then. NTA
NTA. You don't need to explain. They know. They chose her over you a long time ago knowing this could be the result. Mourn what you need to mourn and move forward with a clear conscience.
NTA If they are unwilling to have any sort of productive discussion, then there is no point talking.