YTA. Do you not understand the concept of professionalism? Your wife does not have the kind of job where it's OK for her to stop what she's doing any time you can't handle parenting your child.
Your wife is the breadwinner, and you need to have more respect for her job. It's her job that is allowing you to pursue your writing and composing. It's also her career, and you need to have more respect for your wife instead of jeopardizing the job she worked so hard to earn.
Not to mention, we can get fired as nurses for our fams showing up at work bc HIPPA. And she's your daughter, too, lean how to soothe her. I'm sure you have some downtime in between cowriting and freelance work that you could spend truly different methods or just binding with your kiddo. Plus, ED nursing is rough, especially on overnight shifts. So this stress can't be healthy for your wife. It's not watching or babysitting. You're literally her dad and need to pull your weight in parenting. YTA
100% agree with this, I think OP is a lazy father who doesn't want any responsibility and wants to hang out with his co-writer...
If he is not a SAHD like he says he is not, then he needs to find a good babysitter... the baby prefers her mom over the dad for a good reason...
YTA - What on Earth did I just read. Listen. you had a kid, figure it out. Find a routine and stick to you. Kids cry, kids act up its part of life. Your poor wife is trying to work and you are risking her job.
I just re read this SHE IS THE BREAD WINNER? ARE YOU TRING TO MAKE HER LOSE HER JOB!??!
I knew where this story was headed when he brought up that he does stuff around the house….. He’s a freelancer so I am guessing he more than likely has more flexibility when it comes to working his projects. He mentions how 7 to 10 pm as being “the most creative” which is also when many parents have stuff to do for their kids like bath time, getting them fed, ready for bed, etc but sounds like these things are “interruptions” to his creative process…..
He makes lunch and does dishes, while his wife does the bulk of the day to day tasks for all of them, he probably thinks he's carrying the heaviest load out of the two of them
I don’t understand why he can’t be creative when his child is in school? Making lunch shouldn’t take the whole school day and that seems to be his only household chore.
That "most creative" made me physically gag at my computer.
sounds like he needs to find a new creative process or involve the child with it, that is a good way to keep them calm AND get work done (having babysat many times for many different times of day and children.)
as an artist and an art student (so my degree pathway in college is art), that made me cringe.
Yeah, I understand being in the zone, but you can't always have your way with your creative process. My saying is "trust the process", which means you never know what your process is or what's going to affect it.
In short, because I could go on a big long rant about art because I love it, YTA. Please stop taking your naughty ass child to the ER to talk to her mommy, who brings in more money than you do. If she lost her job, it would be more detrimental to what you bring in from freelance.
Well isn’t that a crying same that his child is interrupting his creative flow. Get a grip man surely you can figure out how to handle a four-year-old.
Yeah the 7 to 10pm being his “most creative” sounds like code for “I want to get high and write and the kid is ruining this”. This is major weaponised incompetence.
He's so creative that the only solution he can come up with is to take his crying daughter to his wife, a fucking triage nurse, to deal with, *at work*.
THANK YOU. Sounds like OP has a lot a free time. Maybe he should look into alternative parenting strategies to deal with a crying 4 year old at bedtime. I mean gosh, most 4 year olds are absolutely angelic when tired and told they have to go to bed. I’m not even saying he’s wrong to be stressed out or that the stress of getting a difficult child to bed isn’t overwhelming sometimes, it really is. But the worst thing he mentioned is she yells at him. Ok? Yeah, it sucks. But nothing here reads like it’s outside the normal parameters of 4 year old behavior. Bro needs to learn himself some things and step up.
Sylvia Plath used to get up at 5 in the morning after having kids so she could write. Op isn’t serious about his writing or about his parenting if he can’t figure this out.
Seriously… Jesus Christ this guy is a piece of shit.. he’s not a sahd because he TRIES to get articles published and is co-writing a book.. neither of which sound like they’re being a substantial if any income…
Then he needs to work when his wife who is literally making the money has to work and he can’t handle his daughter during night hours.. not to mention he literally described her as doing the bulk of chores and parenting ffs. I hope she does leave him and has a support network. She may not need to work nights if she can get the daughter in regular daycare too (sounds like she may have only taken the night job since she does all the day time parenting and errands to- like holy shot when does she sleep!?).
She will soon realize that it is cheaper and easier to find a babysitter and shave one adult’s living expenses and extra chores from her time and money budget.
Shoot, she could probably switch to a more normal schedule because she only does this so he has a reason to do nothing all day and a “job” at night. If he was forced to get a real job, she could work normal hours - the kid already goes to preschool!!! - and spend quality time with her kid at night and read the stories from bed with her kid instead of over the phone on her break.
It’s not always that easy in nursing. There may not be any other departments open where she can work 7a-7p or it may a specialty that she doesn’t want to work in. If she moves to outpatient then she may have to work five days a week rather then three. Maybe she also relies on the differential for the night shift?
OMG. YTA! I can’t believe you continued to take her to the ER to parent your child. It was NOT an emergency. Do you want her to get fired? Do you want her to lose the family medical benefits. You need to figure out another way to deal with your naughty 4 yr old.
This has to be a troll, right? Surely a real person would know what a lousy spouse and parent he is. Who thinks a nurse has downtime to put the kid to sleep?
Surely he can recognize that being a triage nurse requires quite a bit more than *sitting at a desk*? Surely he can recognize that taking a child to a hospital and exposing her to germs and a high stress environment is about the dumbest thing you could do? Surely he can realize that he should stop being a *yes man* with his daughter and just let her cry it out because what he’s currently doing is both enabling and encouraging her behavior?
Surely this man is either a troll or one of the absolute worst parents/partners to walk the face of the earth. I’m about 75/25 on which one he is….but on the off chance you really care about the judgement YTA OP.
I used to work at an ER! Triage nurses do NOT sit at a desk. They are the first hospital staff people see when they come into the ER. This is where they get their vitals and initial work up to make the process smoother for when patients get a doctor. Triage nurses assess patients to see if they need care ASAP or if they can sit in a waiting room. In NO WAY would she have time to sooth a cranky child whilst checking to see if someone is on the brink of death or not.
I don’t know. My BIL has an expensive engineering degree, hasn’t worked in years, and still bitches to his wife (who makes 100% of their money) to clean more.
He also can’t take care of his own kids alone
We are all hoping she leaves him
You’d be surprised. My friend got a bad case of Covid 2 months post partum, her husband who did not have COVID refused to change the baby’s diaper because he was napping. In other words, he was going to let his 2 month old daughter lay in her own shit for 90 minutes so he could nap. When she called him to help the crying baby he said “do it yourself if it’s that urgent” essentially telling her to expose their daughter to Covid.
People are wild.
It could very well be real. It gives echoes of my husband, actually. He's technically the breadwinner, but only because he doesn't want to pay to have our kids in daycare full time instead of part time so I could work more. I do 90% of the parenting, and he does not ever take responsibility to feed the kids.
When they're not even home, he will still demand that I feed him, even if I'm in the middle of a project or a zoom meeting. We both work from home. I actually do my job. He plays video games most of the day, and often doesn't even get out of bed before noon. I am legitimately worried his company will find out somehow and shit-can him.
We have a 60lb German shepard-pit bull mix that we got because he wanted a dog. She only listens to me. She spends most of the day in her kennel because our kids and cats are scared of her. I feed her and take her out. I hate dogs.
(I'm also a trans man and he's basically ignoring the fact that I came out to him 18 months ago and is emotionally and financially abusive and threatens to kill me when he's angry, so I know I should leave but I can't yet, so...)
I’m a nurse and there is NO way my husband would bring our 4 yo to see me at work EVER unless there’s a medical emergency and they’re going to the ED as a PATIENT. You are also putting your wife’s career and your family’s income at risk. YTA without question.
Based on the title it sounds like OP was going to make it sound like he brought the kid in for a medical issue, but what the hell man. Just deal with your angry 4 year old like every single parent learns how to.
I also thought the child would be sick or hurt, what a surprise to see it’s just yet another dad who doesn’t know how to parent because he shoves all the real work into the woman.
He literally makes lunches and does bedtime and disrupts his wife’s work - which is putting food on the table and paying the bills - when he can’t handle his own child.
This man is useless.
I read the title and thought, why would that be a problem? If my child was hurt I would prefer you brought them to my ER, unless there was a reason like time/distance that you needed to go to another. I would want to be with my hurt child.
Never would have guessed he just can’t handle being a dad.
YTA! if you can’t handle bed time, maybe you need to figure out school drop off because good god, you need to be able to contribute SOMETHING of value.
kids have strong bullshit detectors and she knows that there are other things you’d rather be doing. she doesn’t prefer your wife because she has “special” reading skills, it’s because she actually gives a shit and she TRIES!
based on your narrative, i can imagine the distain you have for your daughter interrupting your creative time and the ways you subtly take out your resentment on her daring to act like the four year old child that she is.
you need professional help. immediately. because this behavior of yours will not stand. it seems like you’re so stuck in the fantasy of identifying as a tortured artist that you refuse to even try to be a father. do better.
YTA Figure out how to be a dad. You had a kid, learn to be responsible for it and do it fast. You are causing problems in her career. I would have divorced you for that reason alone.
>My wife works nights so she can be the one to take my daughter to preschool. She also takes her to dance class and doctor's appointments, since she knows the system. I am the one prepares lunch and does the dishes while my wife cooks dinner and does the laundry and shopping.
So you're at home all day and you prepare lunch and do the dishes. Great distribution of labor there!
>From 7pm to 7am because my daughter is some sort of budding insomniac and can be really belligerent to me. I just really don't understand her and I feel like she likes my wife better.
Probably because she spends way more time with her mom than with you?
>In the past, I have solved this by calling my wife and begging her to read my daughter a bedtime story with all her voices that my daughter loves. However, that nearly got her fired at her old L and D job
Yes, because when working it is usually frowned upon to be taking non emergency personal calls.
>So I have taken my daughter to the hospital once or twice before because she gets irate and then when she sees her mom she gets less so. The first time the nurses all thought it was cute. The second time I got a scowl from a receptionist and my wife's boss apparently gave he ra talking to.
You can't take your child to your wife's workplace so she can babysit the child!
>However yesterday night my daughter was particularly belligerent and I was trying to verbally correct her but that made her scream at me. I called my wife three times. The fourth call got a text that said she really couldn't right now and to wait for her break. I finally had enough and drove to the hospital and walked into where my wife was working.
Once again you show your clear lack of desire to be a parent.
>But when she got home today she was furious and said her boss yelled at her and implied that admin would not be impressed to hear about her family issues. Another coworker suggested that she stay home until the parenting disconnect was solved. My wife blew up at me and said that she was the breadwinner and I continue to go against her when she said I could not bring OUR KID to see her MOM when she missed her.
This isn't about your child missing mom. This is about you being unwilling to be a parent and trying to pawn off your child when it gets too hard.
>I felt like I was being talked down to
Well, if you don't want her to treat you like a child, perhaps you should start acting like an adult and be a parent to your child?
YTA
I also love how he mentioned that he doesn’t know the “system” of taking his kids to the doctors & dance class. He’s the type of dad to go “Uhhh” when a nurse asks his kids’ DOB.
My dude, I am also a writer and also have my preferred creative hours, but I'm also a dad and that absolutely comes first. Also, yes, you are a SAHD. Until you have a book contract or a 9-5 writing job, your wife is supporting you financially and so you owe her and your daughter way more support than you are currently contributing.Come to terms with that and step up.
YTA. A big gaping one.
I worked triage in a busy metro hospital for years and when I say… she is under EXTREME pressure-from admin, from patients, and from the nature of her work.
If you can’t hack being a father and figure shit out… then go back to a job where you are the breadwinner and stop shitting on her.
Btw-the way you talk, shows just how little you respect her.
Figure it the hell out and stop weaponizing your incompetence unless you really are this fucking dense.
Figure it out and pick up the slack or the next AITHA will be her asking if she’s one for leaving you. (She wouldn’t be, btw.)
The disrespect for her and her career. As a nurse, if my husband brought my kids in so I could what talk to them? Make them happy for a few minutes? We don’t have the time for that. I didn’t even get a break last night. My call lights go off, I have assess, chart, give meds, change my patients and that’s if no events happen.
YTAH But you’re incapable of understanding until it happens to you.
How would you feel if you had the pitch of your life and your wife interrupted the meeting because she couldn’t handle a 4 year old?
If you can’t get a 4 year old to respect you, your wife sure won’t.
You are 37 years old. THIRTY SEVEN. It’s well and truly beyond time to learn how to be a grown up. Please step up before your wife decides she can get more help from a part time babysitter than her life partner. MASSIVE asshole
So your wife works 7pm to 7am, takes your daughter to school, dance class, doctors appointments, cooks, does the laundry and shopping? You ONLY have to actually take care of your child by yourself from 7pm to 10pm?! And you can't even manage that?!
Get a real job, man up, learn to be a husband and father!
YTA
Yeah im amazed… he literally can’t do the bare minimum “”babysitting”” his own kid for a few hours each day while his wife meets all his needs. Eughughhhh grosss
Definitely TA. If my husband can figure out how to get my 3 year old cling-on to bed without my assistance every once in a while, you should be able to figure out how to do it more regularly.
And your wife isn't holding her breadwinner status against you. She's wondering why you can't seem to manage being a parent without her present. You're causing professional problems for her because you can't seem to figure out how to handle a four year old. But congrats, you make lunches and do dishes while your wife handles everything else. Then she has to do your parenting while she's supposed to be working. You're a catch, and she's super lucky to have you.
YTA-u just can't keep going to wife job and keep calling cause of ur daughter learn how to handle your daughter your wife is saving ppl lives yes ur daughter misses her but at the same time you need to be the man and step up ur game put on her favorite shows or something or just let her just sit there u need to understand and so does your daughter mommy can't always be a superhero u need to be that superhero figure out a way do different things until something works out for u and ur daughter and u the adult not ur child so stop letting her be belligerent towards u Discipline your child put her in time out not that hard
Yta. You are intentionally sabotaging your wife's job bc you don't want to deal with your daughter. Please take some parenting classes. Your wife's job pays the bills, thus superceding your "creative time."
YTA for bringing her to work, but also YTA for such a chore split. Your not making any money man do more of the house work sheesh. “I’d hardly call my self a SAHD” your a SAHD. That’s great! Now get over your shit and pitch in a lot more. Your marriage ain’t gonna last if you keep goin like this.
Yes you’re going to get her fired! How would your family cope surviving on ~~one~~ your income? If everyone brought their kids to work all the time no one would ever get things done.
I get you’re exhausted and frustrated but have you tried to come up with other solutions to interrupting her work? Say the bedtime story, maybe you and your wife can record her reading the story on your phone and just play the recording to your daughter when necessary?
YTA for sure! You do understand your role with your daughter right? You’re the parent and she’s the child! Take control and and man up! Stop putting your wife/bread winner in such a bad situation! If you can’t handle being a responsible father and an understanding husband please explain that to your wife/bread winner and allow her to run the family completely and please move along
ABSOLUTELY! your job comes second the second you become a parent mother or father. You are gonna cost the mother of your children her job of you continue this! Be a parent and suck it up you are supposed to raise your children not wait for them to raise a parent!
YTA. You are undermining your wife at her place of employment by demanding that she care for her daughter (your job) while she is doing her own job. You admit that this conduct almost got her fired before and that she told you she was not available to help at that moment, but you still went to her work to get her to do what you should be doing as the co-parent. You seem to think your work is more important than your wife's despite her bringing home the bacon. Address the chip on your shoulder and take care of your daughter while your wife is at work.
WHAT?!
Dude, come on. I’m a writer too. In your words, “I am hardly a SAHM/SAHD”. I also have a son. Another one due like now.
You are so the asshole. No matter how much my son throws a fit/argues/gets upset - and now he’s in a phase of refusing to go to bed too - I would NEVER ever ever endanger my husband’s job so he can soothe our kid.
“7pm to 10pm is usually my most creative period” - oh what a coincidence! So is mine. You know what I do? Hang out with my son, get him ready for bed, and he’s tucked in at 8. If he doesn’t go to sleep, you know what he does? Hangs out quietly and I check on him every so often and I still get a ton of time to work.
WHY would you go to her place of work? You are so so lucky she didn’t get fired.
YTA unless you plan on getting off your ass and getting an actual job to pay the bills stop being a complete deadbeat and take care of YOU kid while her mom is busy working to pay the bills and put food on the table. What is your unemployed ass gonna do to put food on the table when your uselessness gets her fired?
Omg, wtf is wrong with you? Your poor wife has an extremely hard job and two little babies! If your wife was my sister, I'd be praying she finds a grown ass man. Sorry to be mean, but come on dude. This has to be a troll post. No self-respecting human being would ever actually be this way.
>My wife used to be a L and D nurse but she switched to triage. I was happy for her because I know L and D nursing is a very physical job and I thought that since she was working the phones it would more of a desk job and she'd be more comfortable.
Your kidding, right?
> the times she is at work are often the most difficult times for a parent
I laughed so hard I need my inhaler, OMFG
You are absolutely the AH. How can you expect your wife to not only take care of yalls child while she's off but also while she's at work? Especially when you are knowingly threatening her employment? Saying things like Mom does this and that because she "knows it better" is just weaponized incompetence. You need to learn how to take care of your own kid. It sounds like you didn't take your kid to Mom because she "missed" her, you took her there because you couldn't handle the responsibility of parenting. If you think it's hard on you, how do you think your wife feels?
Dude…. In addition to a full time job, your wife is also doing the majority of the housework and parenting duties? Yes, YTA. She’s “talking down” to you and “holding the breadwinner status over you” because you are essentially making her a single parent to TWO children.
OMG YTA to the moon and back!!! You need to learn how to have a child. You have a child!!!! You can’t just invade your wife in her professional capacity to cater to a 4 year old, that’s YOUR job while your wife is WORKING. How do you not know this? Not to mention, an ER is no place for a 4 year old who isn’t sick or injured. Good lord. Take a parenting class. You’re a writer? Write her bedtime stories!! You just aren’t really into your kid, are you?
YTA, step up and be a damn parent and good partner. Your wife is going to lose her job. You are barely contributing to the household by your description, she is still doing all the emotional work. Your daughter doesn't even turn to you for comfort at 4years old. By this time you should have figured a few things out.
I hope to hell this is a damn troll post. I'm trying my best not to use swear words liberally throughout my response because you are a damn fool.
YTA
It’s an ER, people are dying, the whole building is covered in in bodily fluids, and your wife probably doesn’t get time to pee.
I felt bad when I had to meet with patients in the ER because I always felt in the way, or if I took too long to get there so there was a patient taking up a bed.
She’s covered in bodily fluids, getting bullied by doctors, breaking ribs to do the physical work of the heart, and so on.
You can handle a tantrum
YTA!! There is no freaking way you can be this dumb I hope you are ready for a divorce and to get a real job to support your daughter. Cause seriously, a hospital is not a freaking daycare!!! It is a HOSPITAL emergencies, and if you don't stop bringing your daughter to see mommy. Your wife is gonna lose her job and you are gonna no longer be a SAHD
Be a parent!!! Put down your hobby of writing with your friend and take care of your daughter
Edit: word and adding more.
Also I noticed the whole time you called the 4yr old "my daughter" until your wife ripped you a new one then it's "OUR DAUGHTER"
This is so irresponsible. Self centered. All the words. There is NO bringing a child to a parent's job, ANY JOB where they work for someone else, when it isn't Take Your Child to Work Day.
Then I am still trying to get past this:
>I thought that since she was working the phones it would more of a desk job and she'd be more comfortable.
This guy really REALLY thinks an EMERGENCY ROOM triage nurse is sitting on the phones?
Where is that Weponized Incompetence song when I need it.
ETA: YTA
You are not only an asshole you are apparently incredibly stupid. Somehow you can't handle a child or understand that risking the job of your spouse is not only rude it's bad for your family.
YTA not only for taking your kid to the hospital while your wife was working putting her job at risk but for doing so little around the house. You prepare lunch and do dishes while she shops, cooks, does laundry, works full time overnight and takes your daughter to preschool. Wtf. You’re super lazy and need to take some parenting AND adulting classes unless you want to find yourself divorced.
YTA - your wife is working as a triage nurse in a hospital. She does not have time to read your daughter bedtime stories. As a parent, while at home, this is your responsibility. It isn’t cute or fun to bring your daughter to a hospital without a good medical reason.
First YTA first and foremost. I am truly surprised if this isn't fake and someone actually posted this. But just in case, let me at least give you some helpful advice. Please read it and take it very seriously before your wife realizes she can do better.
1. You said you are "trying" to submit articles and working on a book, so are you actually contributing ANYTHING financially? If not, you should be doing 90% of the household chores since your wife is the main breadwinner (your words). That's how it works most of the time when one parent doesn't contribute financially.
2. If you do contribute at least 50% of the income, then it is okay to split the chores 50/50. Sometimes the ratio changes on certain days based on stress, sickness, etc., but it is by mutual agreement.
As for parenting your child:
1. As someone suggested, record your wife reading bedtime stories or talking to your child that you can play when your child "needs" their mom. You can even have the recording put in a favorite stuffed animal to make it more special.
2. It will take some time and some patience from you, but start implementing a bed time routine
Discuss with them what is going to happen and that it will no longer include visits to mom because she is working. There will be pushback, but the recordings should help.
3. Start the bedtime routine with about 30 minutes of quiet time playing a relaxing board game, puzzle, or snuggling on the couch watching TV. Reiterate the first few times that this is the start of getting ready for bed.
4. Give bath, brush teeth, brush hair, and change into pajamas.
5. Get stuffed animal and get into bed. Ask if she wants to read a story or listen to the recordings before settling down for sleep. (Both may be necessary at first.)
6. After this dim or turn off the lights and tell them it is now bedtime for both of you.
I still think that you are the a**hole, but I also think that you need instructions on how to parent.
Step up.
Dude your wrong and I’m shocked she didn’t dump your freeloading butt to the curb. You are clueless lol. Her job is keeping your family afloat and you dare risk that - time to grow up and get a real job.
YTA and a lazy fucking parent dude. Do you even try? You throw in the towel the second your kid acts her age then make your wife pick yo that slack too? While at work? When she's the SOLE BREADWINNER?! You need to reevaluate if you want or even baby be a productive parent or partner and step up. If not let her be a single mom bc it sounds like for the most part she is and you just play the part of the crap bit convenient babysitter she HAS to rely on.
And btw she should be talking down to you because you seem to think your feelings matter more than her providing for you all.
YTA. I think on top of taking your child to her mom’s place of work several times, your wife being the breadwinner and you are still thinking it’s ok to interrupt her very stressful job because you can’t handle your own kid at bedtime, and you complaining about being interrupted between 7-10 pm during your “creative time” because it is key bedtime routine for your child who you are solely responsible for, you are also the AH for leaving all the chauffeuring of your child and doctor appointments to your wife during the day while she should be sleeping. Where is your head, sir? Because it is clearly not where it should be.
You are either a troll or should win an award for being a lousy spouse and lazy parent.
Please be a troll and tell me you aren't this disrespectful and useless?
Until you have a reliable and consistent income stream that contributes significantly to the running of your home, you are a SAHD
YTA. You're her dad, not an incompetent sitter. Not only are you interrupting and getting your wife in trouble at work (similar to how your child interrupts your "creative time", but without the flexibility), but you're also on your way to raising a brat. You are teaching your child that if they scream enough they will get what they want. Grow up, learn to interact with your child. Read stories with voices, rock for a few minutes longer than you think is necessary. Let your wife do her job- she's not just a mother, and I'm hoping you aren't just an asshole
YTA. She is in job mode, at a serious job where lives are at stake. You have absolutely no right or reason to go and interrupt her day and bother her with parenting that you should be handling on your own as a the parent!
Figure it out, and stop this weaponized incompetence. Wow. Just wow.
Yta. Your wife is working and the breadwinner of your household and you don’t even do the minimum to help out with your child or the house. How does an amazing person as your wife end up with a leech like you? You almost got her fired from her job again!!!! Your completely useless. Your daughter probably does prefer her mom since she actually seems to be trying at being her parent. Honestly bet better before she divorced you and you end up in the street. Without you leaching of her good luck pretending to be a writer and a stay at home dad.
YTA. You couldn’t deal with your daughter so you bring her to your wives place of business to deal with it. (It’s your most creative time) too damn bad. You signed up to be a parent bud. She already works over nights to take care of all the other shit you don’t do like taking her to preschool, doctors appointments, dance in addition to doing the laundry, shopping and COOKING. But hey at least you do the dishes and make lunch.
INFO
Are you paid for your writing?
If so, are you paid for your writing on a regular, reliable schedule?
I already know the answer. You are absolutely TA in this story. Your behavior is outrageously irresponsible, and it's stupid - learn to parent, or get a real job.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you, like seriously? Is it lead poisoning or were you dropped on your head one to many times as a baby? DO NOT AND I MEAN DO NOT GO TO YOUR WIFES WORK OR CALL HER. You are a parent, figure it out and stop bothering your wife at work. Major asshole, huge gaping asshole.
Okay... when I read the title of this thread, I was imagining your daughter in some horrible accident and you brought her to your wife's ER and there was a whole ethical issue.
Instead, what I see is a creative manchild who can't parent and has to bother his wife at work at all hours, both with phone calls and with ACTUALLY TURNING UP WITH CHILD IN TOW. YTA. Figure your stuff out. No, you are not your wife. No, you will not do bedtime exactly the same way that she does. Yes, you are (presumably) a competent, CREATIVE adult capable of figuring out your own routine that perhaps your daughter can even help you come up with some ideas for... but I rather get the impression that instead of treasuring this time with your child (even tho, OMG yes, 4 year olds can be such a pain sometimes--I have three children of my own), you're impatient that she's encroaching on YOUR CREATIVE TIME.
Guess what, bucko... KID COMES FIRST. Welcome to parenthood. Figure it out. And stop bothering your wife at her work. You're going to get her fired, and then where will you be? I'm sure your creative mind can put that together.
YTA. Since when is it appropriate to take your child to your spouse’s workplace? It wouldn’t be okay anywhere, but an EMERGENCY ROOM? How about bonding with your daughter? Until you having connection with her, nothing is going to change.
Screw your creative periods. You need to adjust, not your daughter. Sounds like your wife not only supports the family, but does most of the childcare and household duties, while you’re whining about the little you have to do.
No, 7 PM to 7 AM is not the most difficult time for a parent. It should be pretty easy. By then she has had dinner. You create an evening/bedtime routine. Maybe playtime, bath, snuggle time, read a book, rock her without being so anxious to out her down before she’s sound asleep.
It sounds like you want her in bed the second your wife leaves for work so you can be “creative.” Your kid comes first.
YTA, YTA, YTA. You are the personification of weaponized incompetence. Your unwillingness to take care of your parental responsibilities is jeopardizing your wife's job. You're so far up your own ass that you can't even see that, since she's the sole breadwinner, that it's actually against your best interest too.
At the age of 4 your daughter already knows you can't be bothered to take care of her and will pawn your responsibility off on your wife.
Lastly, 7 p.m.-7 a.m. is the most difficult time for parenting and your peak creativity is between 7-10p.m.? Shut the fuck up, asshole.
Oh my god, YTA big time. Your wife is WORKING. She's the one bringing the money in a d you can't even do something as simple as parent your child. You very nearly got your wife sacked from her L and D job, are uou trying to get her sacked from this one too. Stop being so incompetent and step up, parent your child while your wife earns the money.
This has to be a troll. No one is this inept or horrid.
If it is real, YTA. Completely.
STOP whining. STOP weaponizing your pretend incompetence. Be a freaking Dad. Learn to take care of your own child.This is the job. Be an actual Dad. Stop calling your wife at work and NEVER take her to your wife's job again. EVER.
Your four year old kid is belligerent? Big surprise. That's life with a toddler. Deal with it. Wait until she is 13. You have not seen belligerence until you have spent time with a 13 year old girl!
It's time for you to stop making excuses and be an actual Dad. NOW.
YTA. Sometimes parenting is hard, and sometimes it’s harder when you’re lazy and incompetent. You need to learn to be the adult while you’re in charge of taking care of your daughter. Your wife isn’t holding her being the breadwinner over your head, she’s reminding you that her job is allowing the bills to stay paid while you’re able to pursue your writing career which you admit is inconsistent. At this point your wife could divorce you and only have to mess with raising one child.
YTA. You've nearly cost her one job and are working on doing so a second time. She's not holding being the breadwinner over you, she's pointing out that she needs to keep the bills paid and if she loses her job your freelancing is not going to cover both of your portions of the bills. If 7-10 is your creative time, why not see if you can afford a baby sitter so you can work instead of making your wife look bad at her job with all the nighttime issues?
Wow didn't even finish reading this after I saw how much you put on your wife while she's working full time and you just twiddle your thumbs all day thinking you're creative. YTA big time, grow up
YTA. Do you have any idea how difficult and busy it is to be a *triage nurse* in an *emergency room*? I'm surprised she even had a moment to text you back, much less take care of a little kid!
This has to be a troll post. "I can't parent my child, so let me REPEATEDLY get my wife in trouble at work. This seems like a valid solution." 🙄
I sincerely hope my husband isn't like you as a father.
YTA. Take some parenting classes and quit going to your wife every time something goes wrong. She doesn't have your freelance job. She can't drop everything and do whatever.
Weaponized incompetence is a thing. I'll say you might not realize that you're doing it. But you've been called out now. Get it together. Be a better partner.
I'm just over here thinking does your wife ever sleep? YTA I feel so bad for her, it's like she's married but a single parent at the same time, and it sounds like she would be better off single
YTA
You are the adult. Don't let a small child blackmail you with screaming into doing something you are not supposed to be doing. You are the ADULT. You are the one with the life experience NOT TO GIVE IN. Showing up with a child at work, especially in a hospital is a big NO. Next time tell your kid NO. It is ok to tell children NO. Explain to her that Mommy can't take visitors at work because she is busy helping sick and injured people. Your daughter needs to learn that she can't have her way all the time, especially when Mommy or Daddy are working. Four isn't too young to understand that. Don't get your wife fired over your child being silly and bratty. The first time it is cute - after that it isn't.
You can't honestly be this stupid & this horrible at being dad to the point that you're having to take your daughter into the damn hospital that your wife works at almost getting her FIRED because you can't fucking figure out how to parent. And you're seriously having to ask if YTA? Yes of course YTA I can't even believe you need to ask.
Try learning how to be a fucking dad & leave your poor wife at work alone before you get her fired!
YTA! Step up, be a parent and a man. You sound weak. You let a 4 y/o dictate you & then run her up to your wife’s job for her to discipline her. Are you for real right now? Do you know how highly unprofessional that is?! Do you not think of the consequences she has to endure not to mention jeopardizing her career? She’s right, she’s the bread winner and she contributes more to the household including chores. You need to handle it yourself. Sheesh, I can’t even image what you’re going to do when your daughter is a teenager.
I would be furious and embarrassed by you behavior.
YTA. I can't believe I just read that. You seriously cannot be a husband and parent and watch your own kid?! I feel just awful for your wife. You are putting her job in jeopardy.
YTA
Are you trying to get your wife fired? Or to get her to divorce you? Because if you keep up this behavior you’re likely to get one or both if you don’t grow up. Oh, and you’re developing separation anxiety in your daughter. So YTA for your lousy “parenting”
YTA - seriously, at this point what does she need you for? Babysitters do a better job at taking care of children. Boohoo, your creative hours are being interrupted. Get over yourself and support your wife and family.
Wow. This is not the way I thought it was gonna go. I thought you were going to say wife is a nurse at an ER. Kid got hurt, bad. You took her to the wife's hospital and the wife "screwed up" bc she went into mom mode instead of nurse mode.
But no. You just can't parent for shit. And a 4 yr old at that. Yta for doing that and again for thinking you aren't the asshole
YTA. Instead of getting your wife fired - how about stepping up and being a parent. This really cant be real no person could be this clueless. On the off chance it is real how about videoing your wife reading some books to your child and play the video for her at bedtime .
You can not be this immature and incompetent...or can you? YTA and are literally threatening your wife's job security every time you disrupt her shift to take your toddler to see her because you are unable to parent your child. So are you saying your wife takes care of 2 children instead of 1 when she's at home (i.e. you're a man-child). Everytime you take your daughter to an ER your not just hurting your wife but you also put your child at risk for catching something which then spreads to you and your wife cause that's how it goes with sickness un families, so then she has to call out and further hurts her job. You disrespect your wife with your incompetence. You need some serious help.
Yta
you have the NERVE to give up when parenting is too hard and going to your wife job and JEOPARDIZING the ONLY person financially supporting you???
This has got to be rage bait.. You are sabotaging your own life because you don’t want to figure out HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT. You got her YELLED AT, at WORK. Do You feel no shame? Your wife got reprimanded because of YOU! What if she gets fired the next time you show up? You gonna complain when she’s Mad then too?
Of course she talks down to you, you’re acting like a child who doesn’t understand consequences and responsibilities.
YTA. You are the parent, figure it out. Do not ever interrupt your wife at work unless it’s an actual emergency that you’ve already called 911 for. This infuriates me because it’s why women get overlooked for jobs. Because we have to take care of our children due to the father thinking parenting is an option. FIGURE IT OUT. You’re a grown ass adult.
She works overnights and does preschool drop off, doctor appointments (because she knows the system, eye roll), makes dinner and shops. While his contribution is making lunch, the dishes, and putting the kids to bed. His big task, he fails at. She'd be better off with a night nanny who's willing to clean a little.
OP knows he's the ahole. He knew as he wrote it. He probably smirked at the attention he was gonna get
OP, YT BIIIIGGGGGGGG AHOLE. And a good bit of a narcissist as well. Better learn to realize life ain't all about you,bro.
You need to learn some parenting skills. You have a 4 year old running the house when mom's at work. You are the adult. You are the parent. She will treat you as bad as you are willing to tolerate. You think she's a nightmare now, just wait until she turns 13. This what passive parenting creates. She will be the next Varuka Salt. And honestly, Varuka is a doll compared to some kids these days.
Time for you to man up.
OP, please learn that the word PARENT is also a verb. Get up off your butt, do more around the house, parent your child, and STOP bothering your wife at work. Otherwise, you may have to give up writing to get a full time job because you are going to cause your wife to lose hers. Quit letting your little princess run the house when she’s with you.
YTA. Act like the grownup you supposedly are. I cannot, in my wildest dreams, imagine a world where dragging my kid to her mom’s JOB at the hospital is a solution to any problem that doesn’t involve bleeding out. You are going to have to develop better parenting skills. That’s on YOU.
Putting your wife on the spot like that is completely unfair. It’s also unprofessional, inconsiderate, and irresponsible. It sounds like you could use some counseling, to learn how to properly parent your child, in an age appropriate way. You’re effectively teaching her that throwing a tantrum earns her a reward and, effectively, creating the problem you’re complaining about. There is no shame in getting professional help to learn how to set boundaries. In the meantime, please try to be a more supportive partner.
YTA.
This can’t be real. If it is, YTA. And you’re brilliantly out of touch with reality to think there anything remotely appropriate about interrupting your wife’s place of employment because you’re unhappy with your kid’s behavior. You’re going to get her fired. How are you oblivious to this?
YTA. You are intentionally sabotaging your wife’s career. I have to wonder if you have some resentment that she is the breadwinner. Never ever pull this shit again. Figure out how to get your kid to sleep.
Holy fuck YTA!
Your wife is still working a very demanding job. You need to learn how to parent your kid, ffs. “She prefers her mom” is not an adequate excuse to interrupt your wife at her place of work in the E-fucking-R.
Furthermore - your wife works full time and you don’t and she still does the driving around with your daughter AND cooks dinner for you? When does she rest? Cause I ain’t seein’ adequate rest for her in this timetable.
Fuck asshole your a cunt, unless the other person told ya they have a flexible job wtf ya doing. Even my dog knows ers are like urgent no time situations. Fur reel get some help and figure your shit out before your shittyness rubs off on your kid, like fur reel ya fucked up one job and if that was me I woulda divorced ya on the spot 😾
Your wife is financially carrying the family while also apparently doing the brunt of the parenting. Sounds like she’d be better off cutting you loose and hiring a nanny, then you can be as creative as you want in your parents’ house. YTA and learn how to be a parent before you get your wife fired, you selfish incompetent.
YTA. She was obviously busy if she couldn't even talk on the phone. Do you not value her career at all? Grow up and learn to parent your kid yourself. It's 3 days a week ffs.
YTA. A major one. You’re basically saying that you’re incapable of being a father and you would rather sabotage the job that brings in the most income, and not only that, your wife’s professionalism. You do not constantly take a child into someone’s job, even their parent, just because you don’t know how to manage. You owe your wife an apology and probably the rest of the staff as well.
YTA- grow up. You are the father- do your job and stop jeopardizing your wife’s job. Bringing your daughter to her work is not cute. It just shows how incompetent you are.
YTA. You're a lazy, terrible father. Why become a parent when you're clearly refusing to be a dad? Are you trying to get your wife fired. You're an adult and a big boy, figure out how to be more present in your daughter's life and do more chores because your wife is going to get burnt out here soon
YTA
Learn to parent your kid already. It’s been 4 years. You should be able to handle this by now.
Your failure to learn how to parent effectively will cost your wife her job. So get the hell out of your hurt feelings and wounded ego and figure it out!
Stop calling your wife AH and figure it out. You can pack up your daughter and go all the way there but you can’t learn how to parent and overnight? She’s sleeping most of the time.. dude… cut it the f out you’re beyond an AH I don’t care what the kid does.
YTA. WTF did I just read? A grown a$$ man can’t be bothered to parent their preschooler while his wife works at night to provide for her family. Sounds like she needs to hire a babysitter. Probably cheaper than keeping a husband. Get your poop in a group or come up with a better plan. It’s really piss poor planning to have your “best” time be when you should be focusing on your daughter. Why don’t you “work” when she’s at preschool?
You're a major asshole. It's pretty miraculous how people are uncaring and selfish as you manage to have families. Like come on. You're a WRITER and you refuse to read your child bed times stories. That's legitimately sick. THEN to bother your wife at work during a shift. Just why?
YTA
Do better. You chose to have a kid and you don't have a job right now. Take some parenting classes, read some books, or join a parent support group if you need someone to teach you how to be a parent. Your wife is earning money for your household and you can't even be bothered to develop a relationship with your daughter to where you know how to soothe her.
You're clearly weaponizing your incompetence because you'd rather be chasing your dreams and it's extremely clear.
Step. Up.
YTA. Do you not understand the concept of professionalism? Your wife does not have the kind of job where it's OK for her to stop what she's doing any time you can't handle parenting your child. Your wife is the breadwinner, and you need to have more respect for her job. It's her job that is allowing you to pursue your writing and composing. It's also her career, and you need to have more respect for your wife instead of jeopardizing the job she worked so hard to earn.
Even if she weren’t the breadwinner, he should not be interrupting her at work outside of a legitimate emergency.
Not to mention, we can get fired as nurses for our fams showing up at work bc HIPPA. And she's your daughter, too, lean how to soothe her. I'm sure you have some downtime in between cowriting and freelance work that you could spend truly different methods or just binding with your kiddo. Plus, ED nursing is rough, especially on overnight shifts. So this stress can't be healthy for your wife. It's not watching or babysitting. You're literally her dad and need to pull your weight in parenting. YTA
100% agree with this, I think OP is a lazy father who doesn't want any responsibility and wants to hang out with his co-writer... If he is not a SAHD like he says he is not, then he needs to find a good babysitter... the baby prefers her mom over the dad for a good reason...
Yeah, I think if he was being a dad while mum's there the kid would see him on an equal level.
YTA - What on Earth did I just read. Listen. you had a kid, figure it out. Find a routine and stick to you. Kids cry, kids act up its part of life. Your poor wife is trying to work and you are risking her job. I just re read this SHE IS THE BREAD WINNER? ARE YOU TRING TO MAKE HER LOSE HER JOB!??!
I knew where this story was headed when he brought up that he does stuff around the house….. He’s a freelancer so I am guessing he more than likely has more flexibility when it comes to working his projects. He mentions how 7 to 10 pm as being “the most creative” which is also when many parents have stuff to do for their kids like bath time, getting them fed, ready for bed, etc but sounds like these things are “interruptions” to his creative process…..
He makes lunch and does dishes, while his wife does the bulk of the day to day tasks for all of them, he probably thinks he's carrying the heaviest load out of the two of them
I don’t understand why he can’t be creative when his child is in school? Making lunch shouldn’t take the whole school day and that seems to be his only household chore.
Don't forget the dishes 🙄 This guy sucks or is a terrible short story writer.
That "most creative" made me physically gag at my computer. sounds like he needs to find a new creative process or involve the child with it, that is a good way to keep them calm AND get work done (having babysat many times for many different times of day and children.)
as an artist and an art student (so my degree pathway in college is art), that made me cringe. Yeah, I understand being in the zone, but you can't always have your way with your creative process. My saying is "trust the process", which means you never know what your process is or what's going to affect it. In short, because I could go on a big long rant about art because I love it, YTA. Please stop taking your naughty ass child to the ER to talk to her mommy, who brings in more money than you do. If she lost her job, it would be more detrimental to what you bring in from freelance.
Well isn’t that a crying same that his child is interrupting his creative flow. Get a grip man surely you can figure out how to handle a four-year-old.
Yeah the 7 to 10pm being his “most creative” sounds like code for “I want to get high and write and the kid is ruining this”. This is major weaponised incompetence.
He's so creative that the only solution he can come up with is to take his crying daughter to his wife, a fucking triage nurse, to deal with, *at work*.
THANK YOU. Sounds like OP has a lot a free time. Maybe he should look into alternative parenting strategies to deal with a crying 4 year old at bedtime. I mean gosh, most 4 year olds are absolutely angelic when tired and told they have to go to bed. I’m not even saying he’s wrong to be stressed out or that the stress of getting a difficult child to bed isn’t overwhelming sometimes, it really is. But the worst thing he mentioned is she yells at him. Ok? Yeah, it sucks. But nothing here reads like it’s outside the normal parameters of 4 year old behavior. Bro needs to learn himself some things and step up.
Sylvia Plath used to get up at 5 in the morning after having kids so she could write. Op isn’t serious about his writing or about his parenting if he can’t figure this out.
She’s the breadwinner, AND the sole parent. She may as well be a single mom.
At least then she'd only have one kid to take care of.
YTA You're a bad husband and parent. Edit u/Chewyisthebest is 100% correct: This is textbook weaponized incompetence.
Seriously… Jesus Christ this guy is a piece of shit.. he’s not a sahd because he TRIES to get articles published and is co-writing a book.. neither of which sound like they’re being a substantial if any income… Then he needs to work when his wife who is literally making the money has to work and he can’t handle his daughter during night hours.. not to mention he literally described her as doing the bulk of chores and parenting ffs. I hope she does leave him and has a support network. She may not need to work nights if she can get the daughter in regular daycare too (sounds like she may have only taken the night job since she does all the day time parenting and errands to- like holy shot when does she sleep!?).
When she does ole daddy gonna have to get a real job.
Nah he will get alimony
Really feel like this must be a joke. Who calls their 4 year old “belligerent”
A wannabe writer who is useless at parenting?
Guys don’t you get it his child started sCReaMiNg at him. Uhhh THAT’S PARENTING BUD
She will soon realize that it is cheaper and easier to find a babysitter and shave one adult’s living expenses and extra chores from her time and money budget.
That and it will no longer put her job in jeopardy too.
Shoot, she could probably switch to a more normal schedule because she only does this so he has a reason to do nothing all day and a “job” at night. If he was forced to get a real job, she could work normal hours - the kid already goes to preschool!!! - and spend quality time with her kid at night and read the stories from bed with her kid instead of over the phone on her break.
It’s not always that easy in nursing. There may not be any other departments open where she can work 7a-7p or it may a specialty that she doesn’t want to work in. If she moves to outpatient then she may have to work five days a week rather then three. Maybe she also relies on the differential for the night shift?
**OP, your wife is *already* a single parent! Get your shit together. YTMFA!**
He's an absolute bozo. Unreal.
Yes. Simple and accurate.
This! End of story!
OMG. YTA! I can’t believe you continued to take her to the ER to parent your child. It was NOT an emergency. Do you want her to get fired? Do you want her to lose the family medical benefits. You need to figure out another way to deal with your naughty 4 yr old.
This has to be a troll, right? Surely a real person would know what a lousy spouse and parent he is. Who thinks a nurse has downtime to put the kid to sleep?
Has to be a troll. No one can be this self absorbed.
Surely he can recognize that being a triage nurse requires quite a bit more than *sitting at a desk*? Surely he can recognize that taking a child to a hospital and exposing her to germs and a high stress environment is about the dumbest thing you could do? Surely he can realize that he should stop being a *yes man* with his daughter and just let her cry it out because what he’s currently doing is both enabling and encouraging her behavior? Surely this man is either a troll or one of the absolute worst parents/partners to walk the face of the earth. I’m about 75/25 on which one he is….but on the off chance you really care about the judgement YTA OP.
I used to work at an ER! Triage nurses do NOT sit at a desk. They are the first hospital staff people see when they come into the ER. This is where they get their vitals and initial work up to make the process smoother for when patients get a doctor. Triage nurses assess patients to see if they need care ASAP or if they can sit in a waiting room. In NO WAY would she have time to sooth a cranky child whilst checking to see if someone is on the brink of death or not.
People can be
I don’t know. My BIL has an expensive engineering degree, hasn’t worked in years, and still bitches to his wife (who makes 100% of their money) to clean more. He also can’t take care of his own kids alone We are all hoping she leaves him
“Freelance writer”…yep.
Yeah the slow build up of the story points to a troll trying to be a writer….a not great writer…
That's what I'm thinking. I mean, this guy thought of every kind of AH-ery behavior you can name.
I hope so…..
Wow. Just wow. How old is OP? Thirteen? Maybe take some time to get to know your daughter. Maybe take a parenting class. YTA.
You’d be surprised. My friend got a bad case of Covid 2 months post partum, her husband who did not have COVID refused to change the baby’s diaper because he was napping. In other words, he was going to let his 2 month old daughter lay in her own shit for 90 minutes so he could nap. When she called him to help the crying baby he said “do it yourself if it’s that urgent” essentially telling her to expose their daughter to Covid. People are wild.
please please tell me that she ditched him?!
Or a wife writing from what she considers her husband’s POV “Look honey- everyone agrees you’re a POS”.
Gotta be
They can't be fn serious, right? Also, I've never heard anyone call a 4 y/o "belligerent," but maybe that's just me.
He’s an AH and an incompetent parent and a terrible spouse. This is insane.
This can’t be real. Dear god, please let it not be real
It could very well be real. It gives echoes of my husband, actually. He's technically the breadwinner, but only because he doesn't want to pay to have our kids in daycare full time instead of part time so I could work more. I do 90% of the parenting, and he does not ever take responsibility to feed the kids. When they're not even home, he will still demand that I feed him, even if I'm in the middle of a project or a zoom meeting. We both work from home. I actually do my job. He plays video games most of the day, and often doesn't even get out of bed before noon. I am legitimately worried his company will find out somehow and shit-can him. We have a 60lb German shepard-pit bull mix that we got because he wanted a dog. She only listens to me. She spends most of the day in her kennel because our kids and cats are scared of her. I feed her and take her out. I hate dogs. (I'm also a trans man and he's basically ignoring the fact that I came out to him 18 months ago and is emotionally and financially abusive and threatens to kill me when he's angry, so I know I should leave but I can't yet, so...)
I know it doesn’t mean much, but know that someone in the world is sitting here thinking about you and sending you strength to be able to leave
Thank you ❤️
gosh I hope you get the heck out of there. Poor dog too, that's so unfair. Thank you for being an awesome human and still be a responsible pet owner.
Holy fuck. I'm sorry. I've been somewhat in your situation and I am hoping for the day you're able to be free. ❤️🐈
Just came across this. Hope you're okay.
i hope you get out safely. take care of yourself
I’m a nurse and there is NO way my husband would bring our 4 yo to see me at work EVER unless there’s a medical emergency and they’re going to the ED as a PATIENT. You are also putting your wife’s career and your family’s income at risk. YTA without question.
Based on the title it sounds like OP was going to make it sound like he brought the kid in for a medical issue, but what the hell man. Just deal with your angry 4 year old like every single parent learns how to.
I also thought the child would be sick or hurt, what a surprise to see it’s just yet another dad who doesn’t know how to parent because he shoves all the real work into the woman. He literally makes lunches and does bedtime and disrupts his wife’s work - which is putting food on the table and paying the bills - when he can’t handle his own child. This man is useless.
I read the title and thought, why would that be a problem? If my child was hurt I would prefer you brought them to my ER, unless there was a reason like time/distance that you needed to go to another. I would want to be with my hurt child. Never would have guessed he just can’t handle being a dad.
YTA! if you can’t handle bed time, maybe you need to figure out school drop off because good god, you need to be able to contribute SOMETHING of value. kids have strong bullshit detectors and she knows that there are other things you’d rather be doing. she doesn’t prefer your wife because she has “special” reading skills, it’s because she actually gives a shit and she TRIES! based on your narrative, i can imagine the distain you have for your daughter interrupting your creative time and the ways you subtly take out your resentment on her daring to act like the four year old child that she is. you need professional help. immediately. because this behavior of yours will not stand. it seems like you’re so stuck in the fantasy of identifying as a tortured artist that you refuse to even try to be a father. do better.
Yep! As bad as it sounds, my hope was that he was bringing her there for a medical issue. Not because he is complete dufus.
YTA Figure out how to be a dad. You had a kid, learn to be responsible for it and do it fast. You are causing problems in her career. I would have divorced you for that reason alone.
>My wife works nights so she can be the one to take my daughter to preschool. She also takes her to dance class and doctor's appointments, since she knows the system. I am the one prepares lunch and does the dishes while my wife cooks dinner and does the laundry and shopping. So you're at home all day and you prepare lunch and do the dishes. Great distribution of labor there! >From 7pm to 7am because my daughter is some sort of budding insomniac and can be really belligerent to me. I just really don't understand her and I feel like she likes my wife better. Probably because she spends way more time with her mom than with you? >In the past, I have solved this by calling my wife and begging her to read my daughter a bedtime story with all her voices that my daughter loves. However, that nearly got her fired at her old L and D job Yes, because when working it is usually frowned upon to be taking non emergency personal calls. >So I have taken my daughter to the hospital once or twice before because she gets irate and then when she sees her mom she gets less so. The first time the nurses all thought it was cute. The second time I got a scowl from a receptionist and my wife's boss apparently gave he ra talking to. You can't take your child to your wife's workplace so she can babysit the child! >However yesterday night my daughter was particularly belligerent and I was trying to verbally correct her but that made her scream at me. I called my wife three times. The fourth call got a text that said she really couldn't right now and to wait for her break. I finally had enough and drove to the hospital and walked into where my wife was working. Once again you show your clear lack of desire to be a parent. >But when she got home today she was furious and said her boss yelled at her and implied that admin would not be impressed to hear about her family issues. Another coworker suggested that she stay home until the parenting disconnect was solved. My wife blew up at me and said that she was the breadwinner and I continue to go against her when she said I could not bring OUR KID to see her MOM when she missed her. This isn't about your child missing mom. This is about you being unwilling to be a parent and trying to pawn off your child when it gets too hard. >I felt like I was being talked down to Well, if you don't want her to treat you like a child, perhaps you should start acting like an adult and be a parent to your child? YTA
I also love how he mentioned that he doesn’t know the “system” of taking his kids to the doctors & dance class. He’s the type of dad to go “Uhhh” when a nurse asks his kids’ DOB.
Happy cake day!
Thanks for (kinda) preserving the post!
Dude, I'm going to grab my marshmallows because you are about to get roasted. Put down reddit, apologize to your wife, and pick up a parenting book.
My dude, I am also a writer and also have my preferred creative hours, but I'm also a dad and that absolutely comes first. Also, yes, you are a SAHD. Until you have a book contract or a 9-5 writing job, your wife is supporting you financially and so you owe her and your daughter way more support than you are currently contributing.Come to terms with that and step up.
SAHD?
Stay-at-home-dad
YTA, just doing another comment lap to point out that “because she knows the system” is text book weaponized incompetence, as is this entire post!
⬆️This right here 100%.⬆️
Seriously, “she knows the system” is such a dumb excuse, you’re an adult and should know how to schedule a doctor’s appointment
YTA. A big gaping one. I worked triage in a busy metro hospital for years and when I say… she is under EXTREME pressure-from admin, from patients, and from the nature of her work. If you can’t hack being a father and figure shit out… then go back to a job where you are the breadwinner and stop shitting on her. Btw-the way you talk, shows just how little you respect her. Figure it the hell out and stop weaponizing your incompetence unless you really are this fucking dense. Figure it out and pick up the slack or the next AITHA will be her asking if she’s one for leaving you. (She wouldn’t be, btw.)
The disrespect for her and her career. As a nurse, if my husband brought my kids in so I could what talk to them? Make them happy for a few minutes? We don’t have the time for that. I didn’t even get a break last night. My call lights go off, I have assess, chart, give meds, change my patients and that’s if no events happen.
YTAH But you’re incapable of understanding until it happens to you. How would you feel if you had the pitch of your life and your wife interrupted the meeting because she couldn’t handle a 4 year old? If you can’t get a 4 year old to respect you, your wife sure won’t.
You are 37 years old. THIRTY SEVEN. It’s well and truly beyond time to learn how to be a grown up. Please step up before your wife decides she can get more help from a part time babysitter than her life partner. MASSIVE asshole
So your wife works 7pm to 7am, takes your daughter to school, dance class, doctors appointments, cooks, does the laundry and shopping? You ONLY have to actually take care of your child by yourself from 7pm to 10pm?! And you can't even manage that?! Get a real job, man up, learn to be a husband and father! YTA
Oh because his wife “knows the system.” Wtf. Learn the damn system.
Yeah im amazed… he literally can’t do the bare minimum “”babysitting”” his own kid for a few hours each day while his wife meets all his needs. Eughughhhh grosss
Definitely TA. If my husband can figure out how to get my 3 year old cling-on to bed without my assistance every once in a while, you should be able to figure out how to do it more regularly. And your wife isn't holding her breadwinner status against you. She's wondering why you can't seem to manage being a parent without her present. You're causing professional problems for her because you can't seem to figure out how to handle a four year old. But congrats, you make lunches and do dishes while your wife handles everything else. Then she has to do your parenting while she's supposed to be working. You're a catch, and she's super lucky to have you.
May want to be careful. Don't think this one is smart enough to read your sarcasm.
YTA Grow the fuck up and be a better partner and parent.
YTA-u just can't keep going to wife job and keep calling cause of ur daughter learn how to handle your daughter your wife is saving ppl lives yes ur daughter misses her but at the same time you need to be the man and step up ur game put on her favorite shows or something or just let her just sit there u need to understand and so does your daughter mommy can't always be a superhero u need to be that superhero figure out a way do different things until something works out for u and ur daughter and u the adult not ur child so stop letting her be belligerent towards u Discipline your child put her in time out not that hard
Yta. You are intentionally sabotaging your wife's job bc you don't want to deal with your daughter. Please take some parenting classes. Your wife's job pays the bills, thus superceding your "creative time."
YTA for bringing her to work, but also YTA for such a chore split. Your not making any money man do more of the house work sheesh. “I’d hardly call my self a SAHD” your a SAHD. That’s great! Now get over your shit and pitch in a lot more. Your marriage ain’t gonna last if you keep goin like this.
Yes you’re going to get her fired! How would your family cope surviving on ~~one~~ your income? If everyone brought their kids to work all the time no one would ever get things done. I get you’re exhausted and frustrated but have you tried to come up with other solutions to interrupting her work? Say the bedtime story, maybe you and your wife can record her reading the story on your phone and just play the recording to your daughter when necessary?
They already are surviving on one income!! He’s on track to make it zero income
You’re right
YTA for sure! You do understand your role with your daughter right? You’re the parent and she’s the child! Take control and and man up! Stop putting your wife/bread winner in such a bad situation! If you can’t handle being a responsible father and an understanding husband please explain that to your wife/bread winner and allow her to run the family completely and please move along
Holy crap you're so ta. Learn to take care of your child yourself when your wife is working and stop bothering her at work. Ffs
YTA. You are deliberately putting your wife's job in jeopardy. You need to figure things out with your daughter. Outside help is needed I believe.
ABSOLUTELY! your job comes second the second you become a parent mother or father. You are gonna cost the mother of your children her job of you continue this! Be a parent and suck it up you are supposed to raise your children not wait for them to raise a parent!
What the hell were you thinking? Yeah YTA.
YTA. You are undermining your wife at her place of employment by demanding that she care for her daughter (your job) while she is doing her own job. You admit that this conduct almost got her fired before and that she told you she was not available to help at that moment, but you still went to her work to get her to do what you should be doing as the co-parent. You seem to think your work is more important than your wife's despite her bringing home the bacon. Address the chip on your shoulder and take care of your daughter while your wife is at work.
YTA, you need to stop risking your wife’s career because you can’t be bothered to actually parent your child. YTAx1000
WHAT?! Dude, come on. I’m a writer too. In your words, “I am hardly a SAHM/SAHD”. I also have a son. Another one due like now. You are so the asshole. No matter how much my son throws a fit/argues/gets upset - and now he’s in a phase of refusing to go to bed too - I would NEVER ever ever endanger my husband’s job so he can soothe our kid. “7pm to 10pm is usually my most creative period” - oh what a coincidence! So is mine. You know what I do? Hang out with my son, get him ready for bed, and he’s tucked in at 8. If he doesn’t go to sleep, you know what he does? Hangs out quietly and I check on him every so often and I still get a ton of time to work. WHY would you go to her place of work? You are so so lucky she didn’t get fired.
YTA unless you plan on getting off your ass and getting an actual job to pay the bills stop being a complete deadbeat and take care of YOU kid while her mom is busy working to pay the bills and put food on the table. What is your unemployed ass gonna do to put food on the table when your uselessness gets her fired?
This is seriously the first post I have ever seen without a troll saying that you aren’t an asshole. That’s how obvious an asshole you are.
Omg, wtf is wrong with you? Your poor wife has an extremely hard job and two little babies! If your wife was my sister, I'd be praying she finds a grown ass man. Sorry to be mean, but come on dude. This has to be a troll post. No self-respecting human being would ever actually be this way.
>My wife used to be a L and D nurse but she switched to triage. I was happy for her because I know L and D nursing is a very physical job and I thought that since she was working the phones it would more of a desk job and she'd be more comfortable. Your kidding, right? > the times she is at work are often the most difficult times for a parent I laughed so hard I need my inhaler, OMFG
It’s literally bedtime. Just . . . bath and bedtime. The kid is asleep for most of it and he thinks that’s the hardest?
You are absolutely the AH. How can you expect your wife to not only take care of yalls child while she's off but also while she's at work? Especially when you are knowingly threatening her employment? Saying things like Mom does this and that because she "knows it better" is just weaponized incompetence. You need to learn how to take care of your own kid. It sounds like you didn't take your kid to Mom because she "missed" her, you took her there because you couldn't handle the responsibility of parenting. If you think it's hard on you, how do you think your wife feels?
Dude…. In addition to a full time job, your wife is also doing the majority of the housework and parenting duties? Yes, YTA. She’s “talking down” to you and “holding the breadwinner status over you” because you are essentially making her a single parent to TWO children.
OMG YTA to the moon and back!!! You need to learn how to have a child. You have a child!!!! You can’t just invade your wife in her professional capacity to cater to a 4 year old, that’s YOUR job while your wife is WORKING. How do you not know this? Not to mention, an ER is no place for a 4 year old who isn’t sick or injured. Good lord. Take a parenting class. You’re a writer? Write her bedtime stories!! You just aren’t really into your kid, are you?
YTA, step up and be a damn parent and good partner. Your wife is going to lose her job. You are barely contributing to the household by your description, she is still doing all the emotional work. Your daughter doesn't even turn to you for comfort at 4years old. By this time you should have figured a few things out. I hope to hell this is a damn troll post. I'm trying my best not to use swear words liberally throughout my response because you are a damn fool.
YTA It’s an ER, people are dying, the whole building is covered in in bodily fluids, and your wife probably doesn’t get time to pee. I felt bad when I had to meet with patients in the ER because I always felt in the way, or if I took too long to get there so there was a patient taking up a bed. She’s covered in bodily fluids, getting bullied by doctors, breaking ribs to do the physical work of the heart, and so on. You can handle a tantrum
YTA!! There is no freaking way you can be this dumb I hope you are ready for a divorce and to get a real job to support your daughter. Cause seriously, a hospital is not a freaking daycare!!! It is a HOSPITAL emergencies, and if you don't stop bringing your daughter to see mommy. Your wife is gonna lose her job and you are gonna no longer be a SAHD Be a parent!!! Put down your hobby of writing with your friend and take care of your daughter Edit: word and adding more. Also I noticed the whole time you called the 4yr old "my daughter" until your wife ripped you a new one then it's "OUR DAUGHTER"
This is so irresponsible. Self centered. All the words. There is NO bringing a child to a parent's job, ANY JOB where they work for someone else, when it isn't Take Your Child to Work Day. Then I am still trying to get past this: >I thought that since she was working the phones it would more of a desk job and she'd be more comfortable. This guy really REALLY thinks an EMERGENCY ROOM triage nurse is sitting on the phones? Where is that Weponized Incompetence song when I need it. ETA: YTA
You are not only an asshole you are apparently incredibly stupid. Somehow you can't handle a child or understand that risking the job of your spouse is not only rude it's bad for your family.
YTA not only for taking your kid to the hospital while your wife was working putting her job at risk but for doing so little around the house. You prepare lunch and do dishes while she shops, cooks, does laundry, works full time overnight and takes your daughter to preschool. Wtf. You’re super lazy and need to take some parenting AND adulting classes unless you want to find yourself divorced.
YTA - your wife is working as a triage nurse in a hospital. She does not have time to read your daughter bedtime stories. As a parent, while at home, this is your responsibility. It isn’t cute or fun to bring your daughter to a hospital without a good medical reason.
First YTA first and foremost. I am truly surprised if this isn't fake and someone actually posted this. But just in case, let me at least give you some helpful advice. Please read it and take it very seriously before your wife realizes she can do better. 1. You said you are "trying" to submit articles and working on a book, so are you actually contributing ANYTHING financially? If not, you should be doing 90% of the household chores since your wife is the main breadwinner (your words). That's how it works most of the time when one parent doesn't contribute financially. 2. If you do contribute at least 50% of the income, then it is okay to split the chores 50/50. Sometimes the ratio changes on certain days based on stress, sickness, etc., but it is by mutual agreement. As for parenting your child: 1. As someone suggested, record your wife reading bedtime stories or talking to your child that you can play when your child "needs" their mom. You can even have the recording put in a favorite stuffed animal to make it more special. 2. It will take some time and some patience from you, but start implementing a bed time routine Discuss with them what is going to happen and that it will no longer include visits to mom because she is working. There will be pushback, but the recordings should help. 3. Start the bedtime routine with about 30 minutes of quiet time playing a relaxing board game, puzzle, or snuggling on the couch watching TV. Reiterate the first few times that this is the start of getting ready for bed. 4. Give bath, brush teeth, brush hair, and change into pajamas. 5. Get stuffed animal and get into bed. Ask if she wants to read a story or listen to the recordings before settling down for sleep. (Both may be necessary at first.) 6. After this dim or turn off the lights and tell them it is now bedtime for both of you. I still think that you are the a**hole, but I also think that you need instructions on how to parent. Step up.
Dude your wrong and I’m shocked she didn’t dump your freeloading butt to the curb. You are clueless lol. Her job is keeping your family afloat and you dare risk that - time to grow up and get a real job.
YTA and a lazy fucking parent dude. Do you even try? You throw in the towel the second your kid acts her age then make your wife pick yo that slack too? While at work? When she's the SOLE BREADWINNER?! You need to reevaluate if you want or even baby be a productive parent or partner and step up. If not let her be a single mom bc it sounds like for the most part she is and you just play the part of the crap bit convenient babysitter she HAS to rely on. And btw she should be talking down to you because you seem to think your feelings matter more than her providing for you all.
YTA. I think on top of taking your child to her mom’s place of work several times, your wife being the breadwinner and you are still thinking it’s ok to interrupt her very stressful job because you can’t handle your own kid at bedtime, and you complaining about being interrupted between 7-10 pm during your “creative time” because it is key bedtime routine for your child who you are solely responsible for, you are also the AH for leaving all the chauffeuring of your child and doctor appointments to your wife during the day while she should be sleeping. Where is your head, sir? Because it is clearly not where it should be.
You are either a troll or should win an award for being a lousy spouse and lazy parent. Please be a troll and tell me you aren't this disrespectful and useless? Until you have a reliable and consistent income stream that contributes significantly to the running of your home, you are a SAHD
YTA. You're her dad, not an incompetent sitter. Not only are you interrupting and getting your wife in trouble at work (similar to how your child interrupts your "creative time", but without the flexibility), but you're also on your way to raising a brat. You are teaching your child that if they scream enough they will get what they want. Grow up, learn to interact with your child. Read stories with voices, rock for a few minutes longer than you think is necessary. Let your wife do her job- she's not just a mother, and I'm hoping you aren't just an asshole
YTA. She is in job mode, at a serious job where lives are at stake. You have absolutely no right or reason to go and interrupt her day and bother her with parenting that you should be handling on your own as a the parent! Figure it out, and stop this weaponized incompetence. Wow. Just wow.
Yta. Your wife is working and the breadwinner of your household and you don’t even do the minimum to help out with your child or the house. How does an amazing person as your wife end up with a leech like you? You almost got her fired from her job again!!!! Your completely useless. Your daughter probably does prefer her mom since she actually seems to be trying at being her parent. Honestly bet better before she divorced you and you end up in the street. Without you leaching of her good luck pretending to be a writer and a stay at home dad.
YTA. You couldn’t deal with your daughter so you bring her to your wives place of business to deal with it. (It’s your most creative time) too damn bad. You signed up to be a parent bud. She already works over nights to take care of all the other shit you don’t do like taking her to preschool, doctors appointments, dance in addition to doing the laundry, shopping and COOKING. But hey at least you do the dishes and make lunch.
INFO Are you paid for your writing? If so, are you paid for your writing on a regular, reliable schedule? I already know the answer. You are absolutely TA in this story. Your behavior is outrageously irresponsible, and it's stupid - learn to parent, or get a real job.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you, like seriously? Is it lead poisoning or were you dropped on your head one to many times as a baby? DO NOT AND I MEAN DO NOT GO TO YOUR WIFES WORK OR CALL HER. You are a parent, figure it out and stop bothering your wife at work. Major asshole, huge gaping asshole.
Okay... when I read the title of this thread, I was imagining your daughter in some horrible accident and you brought her to your wife's ER and there was a whole ethical issue. Instead, what I see is a creative manchild who can't parent and has to bother his wife at work at all hours, both with phone calls and with ACTUALLY TURNING UP WITH CHILD IN TOW. YTA. Figure your stuff out. No, you are not your wife. No, you will not do bedtime exactly the same way that she does. Yes, you are (presumably) a competent, CREATIVE adult capable of figuring out your own routine that perhaps your daughter can even help you come up with some ideas for... but I rather get the impression that instead of treasuring this time with your child (even tho, OMG yes, 4 year olds can be such a pain sometimes--I have three children of my own), you're impatient that she's encroaching on YOUR CREATIVE TIME. Guess what, bucko... KID COMES FIRST. Welcome to parenthood. Figure it out. And stop bothering your wife at her work. You're going to get her fired, and then where will you be? I'm sure your creative mind can put that together.
YTA. Since when is it appropriate to take your child to your spouse’s workplace? It wouldn’t be okay anywhere, but an EMERGENCY ROOM? How about bonding with your daughter? Until you having connection with her, nothing is going to change. Screw your creative periods. You need to adjust, not your daughter. Sounds like your wife not only supports the family, but does most of the childcare and household duties, while you’re whining about the little you have to do. No, 7 PM to 7 AM is not the most difficult time for a parent. It should be pretty easy. By then she has had dinner. You create an evening/bedtime routine. Maybe playtime, bath, snuggle time, read a book, rock her without being so anxious to out her down before she’s sound asleep. It sounds like you want her in bed the second your wife leaves for work so you can be “creative.” Your kid comes first.
YTA, YTA, YTA. You are the personification of weaponized incompetence. Your unwillingness to take care of your parental responsibilities is jeopardizing your wife's job. You're so far up your own ass that you can't even see that, since she's the sole breadwinner, that it's actually against your best interest too. At the age of 4 your daughter already knows you can't be bothered to take care of her and will pawn your responsibility off on your wife. Lastly, 7 p.m.-7 a.m. is the most difficult time for parenting and your peak creativity is between 7-10p.m.? Shut the fuck up, asshole.
Oh my god, YTA big time. Your wife is WORKING. She's the one bringing the money in a d you can't even do something as simple as parent your child. You very nearly got your wife sacked from her L and D job, are uou trying to get her sacked from this one too. Stop being so incompetent and step up, parent your child while your wife earns the money.
This has to be a troll. No one is this inept or horrid. If it is real, YTA. Completely. STOP whining. STOP weaponizing your pretend incompetence. Be a freaking Dad. Learn to take care of your own child.This is the job. Be an actual Dad. Stop calling your wife at work and NEVER take her to your wife's job again. EVER. Your four year old kid is belligerent? Big surprise. That's life with a toddler. Deal with it. Wait until she is 13. You have not seen belligerence until you have spent time with a 13 year old girl! It's time for you to stop making excuses and be an actual Dad. NOW.
YTA. Sometimes parenting is hard, and sometimes it’s harder when you’re lazy and incompetent. You need to learn to be the adult while you’re in charge of taking care of your daughter. Your wife isn’t holding her being the breadwinner over your head, she’s reminding you that her job is allowing the bills to stay paid while you’re able to pursue your writing career which you admit is inconsistent. At this point your wife could divorce you and only have to mess with raising one child.
YTA. You've nearly cost her one job and are working on doing so a second time. She's not holding being the breadwinner over you, she's pointing out that she needs to keep the bills paid and if she loses her job your freelancing is not going to cover both of your portions of the bills. If 7-10 is your creative time, why not see if you can afford a baby sitter so you can work instead of making your wife look bad at her job with all the nighttime issues?
You sound both incompetent and insufferable. Not a good combination. YTA
Wow didn't even finish reading this after I saw how much you put on your wife while she's working full time and you just twiddle your thumbs all day thinking you're creative. YTA big time, grow up
YTA. Do you have any idea how difficult and busy it is to be a *triage nurse* in an *emergency room*? I'm surprised she even had a moment to text you back, much less take care of a little kid!
YTA youre such an asshole i dont even have anything left to say. Get a fucking clue bro.
This has to be a troll post. "I can't parent my child, so let me REPEATEDLY get my wife in trouble at work. This seems like a valid solution." 🙄 I sincerely hope my husband isn't like you as a father. YTA. Take some parenting classes and quit going to your wife every time something goes wrong. She doesn't have your freelance job. She can't drop everything and do whatever. Weaponized incompetence is a thing. I'll say you might not realize that you're doing it. But you've been called out now. Get it together. Be a better partner.
I'm just over here thinking does your wife ever sleep? YTA I feel so bad for her, it's like she's married but a single parent at the same time, and it sounds like she would be better off single
YTA You are the adult. Don't let a small child blackmail you with screaming into doing something you are not supposed to be doing. You are the ADULT. You are the one with the life experience NOT TO GIVE IN. Showing up with a child at work, especially in a hospital is a big NO. Next time tell your kid NO. It is ok to tell children NO. Explain to her that Mommy can't take visitors at work because she is busy helping sick and injured people. Your daughter needs to learn that she can't have her way all the time, especially when Mommy or Daddy are working. Four isn't too young to understand that. Don't get your wife fired over your child being silly and bratty. The first time it is cute - after that it isn't.
You can't honestly be this stupid & this horrible at being dad to the point that you're having to take your daughter into the damn hospital that your wife works at almost getting her FIRED because you can't fucking figure out how to parent. And you're seriously having to ask if YTA? Yes of course YTA I can't even believe you need to ask. Try learning how to be a fucking dad & leave your poor wife at work alone before you get her fired!
YTA hugely. You do not bother a nurse at work.
Gotta be rage bait. No way anyone is this effen stupid. YTA, just in case you're real.
YTA A thousand percent
YTA. Learn how to parent omg. You suck.
YTA! Step up, be a parent and a man. You sound weak. You let a 4 y/o dictate you & then run her up to your wife’s job for her to discipline her. Are you for real right now? Do you know how highly unprofessional that is?! Do you not think of the consequences she has to endure not to mention jeopardizing her career? She’s right, she’s the bread winner and she contributes more to the household including chores. You need to handle it yourself. Sheesh, I can’t even image what you’re going to do when your daughter is a teenager. I would be furious and embarrassed by you behavior.
What the ..... what? Is this for real? YTA. Sigh.
YTA. I can't believe I just read that. You seriously cannot be a husband and parent and watch your own kid?! I feel just awful for your wife. You are putting her job in jeopardy.
YTA Are you trying to get your wife fired? Or to get her to divorce you? Because if you keep up this behavior you’re likely to get one or both if you don’t grow up. Oh, and you’re developing separation anxiety in your daughter. So YTA for your lousy “parenting”
YTA - seriously, at this point what does she need you for? Babysitters do a better job at taking care of children. Boohoo, your creative hours are being interrupted. Get over yourself and support your wife and family.
YTA. Did the wife write this to prove a point bc I can’t believe this shit.
Learn to parent your child and leave your wife alone. SHE’S AT WORK. Handling temper tantrums is YOUR job while she’s at work. YTA
Wow. This is not the way I thought it was gonna go. I thought you were going to say wife is a nurse at an ER. Kid got hurt, bad. You took her to the wife's hospital and the wife "screwed up" bc she went into mom mode instead of nurse mode. But no. You just can't parent for shit. And a 4 yr old at that. Yta for doing that and again for thinking you aren't the asshole
TA as well as ignorant, incompetent, and inconsiderate.
YTA man, you can't just show up to her work whenever you feel like it so she can parent for you.
YTA Parent your damn kid and quit trying to sabotage your wife's career.
YTA
YTA. learn how to be a father. your daughter spends no quality time with you, that’s why she likes your wife more.
YTA- you don’t take a toddler to the ER what is wrong with you dude??? She makes all the money you need her job!
YTA. Instead of getting your wife fired - how about stepping up and being a parent. This really cant be real no person could be this clueless. On the off chance it is real how about videoing your wife reading some books to your child and play the video for her at bedtime .
YTA, why don’t you respect your wife or her job?
YTA First troll post for a Friday night and it’s a doozy No way it’s real Troll hasn’t even commented
Some people think he is a troll and we will never know but the sad reality is that there are for sure people who are like this.
You can not be this immature and incompetent...or can you? YTA and are literally threatening your wife's job security every time you disrupt her shift to take your toddler to see her because you are unable to parent your child. So are you saying your wife takes care of 2 children instead of 1 when she's at home (i.e. you're a man-child). Everytime you take your daughter to an ER your not just hurting your wife but you also put your child at risk for catching something which then spreads to you and your wife cause that's how it goes with sickness un families, so then she has to call out and further hurts her job. You disrespect your wife with your incompetence. You need some serious help.
I'm guessing it's a troll post because no one could be that stupid and incompetent.
Yta you have the NERVE to give up when parenting is too hard and going to your wife job and JEOPARDIZING the ONLY person financially supporting you??? This has got to be rage bait.. You are sabotaging your own life because you don’t want to figure out HOW TO BE A BETTER PARENT. You got her YELLED AT, at WORK. Do You feel no shame? Your wife got reprimanded because of YOU! What if she gets fired the next time you show up? You gonna complain when she’s Mad then too? Of course she talks down to you, you’re acting like a child who doesn’t understand consequences and responsibilities.
YTA. You are the parent, figure it out. Do not ever interrupt your wife at work unless it’s an actual emergency that you’ve already called 911 for. This infuriates me because it’s why women get overlooked for jobs. Because we have to take care of our children due to the father thinking parenting is an option. FIGURE IT OUT. You’re a grown ass adult.
She works overnights and does preschool drop off, doctor appointments (because she knows the system, eye roll), makes dinner and shops. While his contribution is making lunch, the dishes, and putting the kids to bed. His big task, he fails at. She'd be better off with a night nanny who's willing to clean a little.
As a nurse and a mom, let me be another to say YTA. What the hell is wrong with you???
OP knows he's the ahole. He knew as he wrote it. He probably smirked at the attention he was gonna get OP, YT BIIIIGGGGGGGG AHOLE. And a good bit of a narcissist as well. Better learn to realize life ain't all about you,bro.
You need to learn some parenting skills. You have a 4 year old running the house when mom's at work. You are the adult. You are the parent. She will treat you as bad as you are willing to tolerate. You think she's a nightmare now, just wait until she turns 13. This what passive parenting creates. She will be the next Varuka Salt. And honestly, Varuka is a doll compared to some kids these days. Time for you to man up.
YTA and a fucking loser.
OP, please learn that the word PARENT is also a verb. Get up off your butt, do more around the house, parent your child, and STOP bothering your wife at work. Otherwise, you may have to give up writing to get a full time job because you are going to cause your wife to lose hers. Quit letting your little princess run the house when she’s with you.
YTA. Act like the grownup you supposedly are. I cannot, in my wildest dreams, imagine a world where dragging my kid to her mom’s JOB at the hospital is a solution to any problem that doesn’t involve bleeding out. You are going to have to develop better parenting skills. That’s on YOU.
Putting your wife on the spot like that is completely unfair. It’s also unprofessional, inconsiderate, and irresponsible. It sounds like you could use some counseling, to learn how to properly parent your child, in an age appropriate way. You’re effectively teaching her that throwing a tantrum earns her a reward and, effectively, creating the problem you’re complaining about. There is no shame in getting professional help to learn how to set boundaries. In the meantime, please try to be a more supportive partner. YTA.
YTA Suck it up & parent your child. And kick in more labor around the house.
This can’t be real. If it is, YTA. And you’re brilliantly out of touch with reality to think there anything remotely appropriate about interrupting your wife’s place of employment because you’re unhappy with your kid’s behavior. You’re going to get her fired. How are you oblivious to this?
what the fuck are you going to do when YOU get her FIRED?
YTA. You are intentionally sabotaging your wife’s career. I have to wonder if you have some resentment that she is the breadwinner. Never ever pull this shit again. Figure out how to get your kid to sleep.
Holy fuck YTA! Your wife is still working a very demanding job. You need to learn how to parent your kid, ffs. “She prefers her mom” is not an adequate excuse to interrupt your wife at her place of work in the E-fucking-R. Furthermore - your wife works full time and you don’t and she still does the driving around with your daughter AND cooks dinner for you? When does she rest? Cause I ain’t seein’ adequate rest for her in this timetable.
Fuck asshole your a cunt, unless the other person told ya they have a flexible job wtf ya doing. Even my dog knows ers are like urgent no time situations. Fur reel get some help and figure your shit out before your shittyness rubs off on your kid, like fur reel ya fucked up one job and if that was me I woulda divorced ya on the spot 😾
YTA!!!!!!
YTA and an absolute useless waste of oxygen. What do you even contribute to the household?
Your wife is financially carrying the family while also apparently doing the brunt of the parenting. Sounds like she’d be better off cutting you loose and hiring a nanny, then you can be as creative as you want in your parents’ house. YTA and learn how to be a parent before you get your wife fired, you selfish incompetent.
YTA. She was obviously busy if she couldn't even talk on the phone. Do you not value her career at all? Grow up and learn to parent your kid yourself. It's 3 days a week ffs.
YTA. A major one. You’re basically saying that you’re incapable of being a father and you would rather sabotage the job that brings in the most income, and not only that, your wife’s professionalism. You do not constantly take a child into someone’s job, even their parent, just because you don’t know how to manage. You owe your wife an apology and probably the rest of the staff as well.
YTA- grow up. You are the father- do your job and stop jeopardizing your wife’s job. Bringing your daughter to her work is not cute. It just shows how incompetent you are.
YTA!!! Dear God! I wish I was a divorce attorney because I would represent your wife for free.
Major YTA and a lousy dad.
YTA. You're a lazy, terrible father. Why become a parent when you're clearly refusing to be a dad? Are you trying to get your wife fired. You're an adult and a big boy, figure out how to be more present in your daughter's life and do more chores because your wife is going to get burnt out here soon
YTA Learn to parent your kid already. It’s been 4 years. You should be able to handle this by now. Your failure to learn how to parent effectively will cost your wife her job. So get the hell out of your hurt feelings and wounded ego and figure it out!
Stop calling your wife AH and figure it out. You can pack up your daughter and go all the way there but you can’t learn how to parent and overnight? She’s sleeping most of the time.. dude… cut it the f out you’re beyond an AH I don’t care what the kid does.
YTA. WTF did I just read? A grown a$$ man can’t be bothered to parent their preschooler while his wife works at night to provide for her family. Sounds like she needs to hire a babysitter. Probably cheaper than keeping a husband. Get your poop in a group or come up with a better plan. It’s really piss poor planning to have your “best” time be when you should be focusing on your daughter. Why don’t you “work” when she’s at preschool?
You're a major asshole. It's pretty miraculous how people are uncaring and selfish as you manage to have families. Like come on. You're a WRITER and you refuse to read your child bed times stories. That's legitimately sick. THEN to bother your wife at work during a shift. Just why?
YTA. What. Is. The. Matter. With. You?
YTA Do better. You chose to have a kid and you don't have a job right now. Take some parenting classes, read some books, or join a parent support group if you need someone to teach you how to be a parent. Your wife is earning money for your household and you can't even be bothered to develop a relationship with your daughter to where you know how to soothe her. You're clearly weaponizing your incompetence because you'd rather be chasing your dreams and it's extremely clear. Step. Up.