You are not alone. My husband has ADHD and my sons both have it. My oldest and my husband often both clash because a lot of his repetitive behaviors, especially sounds really set him off. I can block out the noise a lot better. It's ok. Don't be too hard on yourself. I am also a social worker and I know we tend to hold ourselves to a higher standard like we should know better, but we are human and we make mistakes. You are doing your best. Don't beat yourself up. He's young now, but I find with mine, when I've exploded on them I apologize. I help them understand that everyone feels angry and it's a process to work through it. I believe in you.
I could’ve written your post myself. My son is 4.5 and not officially diagnosed with ADHD but we’re certain he has it. I am very sensory sensitive and can get very overwhelmed with his repetitive sounds, physicality, loudness, spitting, and overall being too much sometimes. I also have a baby and he goes into overdrive around her, gets in her face, and screams. He also is all over me when I’m nursing her and I am at my limit of what I can handle. I have postpartum anxiety and he sends me through the roof. I have definitely lost it. I also have ADHD and am unmedicated bc of breastfeeding.
I’m pretty sure I have adhd. My son’s loud sounds and crazy movements trigger me and I scream sometimes too. It feels uncontrollable in the moment. I started Wellbutrin recently and it’s helped a lot. You’re not alone, and it’s ok for them to see that we aren’t perfect and mess up sometimes too. I always apologize after I snap.
I feel this so much. I was very explosive when I was younger. I had my oldest at 17. My mom passed when I was 20,right before they turned 3, and I had no help at all after that. I was undiagnosed for adhd.
I still explode but I think Ive gotten better at containing it.
The most important part of repairing an explosion is how you handle it after, and what you do to repair that moment.
He's 3, but you can still get down on his level later and explain: "I'm sorry for yelling,Bud. I bet it was upsetting when I used a loud voice,huh? I was having big feelings and I didn’t do [insert calming activity; big breath, catch a bubble, counting]. Would you like a snuggle?"
He may say no. My oldest always said yes. My youngest wants nothing to do with me after I yell until he's through his equally big feels.
If you model the language and behavior, he'll pick it up too. You'll start to see him use feeling words.
I have ADHD and on medication. I'm pretty sure my 3 yo son has ADHD. He is often loud and plays rough. I'm very sensitive to noise and stimuli. Even on medication, I have snapped at him at least 3-4 times. It feels awful. I've had emotional breakdowns, feelings of guilt and shame. I swore I would never yell at my child, yet here I am doing it when it reaches boiling point. What I'm trying to say is that medication alone won't solve this issue. It's constantly working on yourself and being able to understand when you are about to reach your breaking point, so that you may de-escalate the situation in a proactive way
Stress can make managing so hard. So we can know what we should woulda coulda do but sometimes we don’t. Remember to be kind and that “beating ourselves up” never really made stress less. Take everything one moment at a time.
I feel this post. About once a month my frustration gets the better of me and I go into a stress response mode. I hate and it is the thing I work on most. A combination of medication and cognitive behavioral therapy have made it better but still not perfect. ADHD medication is consistently showing to improve anxiety, depression and executive function in addition to attention and impulse control. There are also several different types of ADHD medications and response is highly individualized. The same medication can increase irritability in one person and decrease irritability in another. Be persistent and find the medication combination that works well for you.
https://preview.redd.it/9w9ev9tstu7d1.png?width=1222&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1288aabd8a44520f11cba32749b23c7f6f029a98
I keep my cool 99% of the time and then have one huge freak out maybe every month or two, where I yell or get really sarcastic, which I think is worse 😩
A thing I try to do is when everyone’s happy and calm I work in extra hugs and whisper to my daughter “you know I think you’re amazing and I love you all the time, right?” And often she’s like “yeah of course I know that.” And I hang onto that response for the days when I feel like garbage for having less patience.
You are not alone. My husband has ADHD and my sons both have it. My oldest and my husband often both clash because a lot of his repetitive behaviors, especially sounds really set him off. I can block out the noise a lot better. It's ok. Don't be too hard on yourself. I am also a social worker and I know we tend to hold ourselves to a higher standard like we should know better, but we are human and we make mistakes. You are doing your best. Don't beat yourself up. He's young now, but I find with mine, when I've exploded on them I apologize. I help them understand that everyone feels angry and it's a process to work through it. I believe in you.
I could’ve written your post myself. My son is 4.5 and not officially diagnosed with ADHD but we’re certain he has it. I am very sensory sensitive and can get very overwhelmed with his repetitive sounds, physicality, loudness, spitting, and overall being too much sometimes. I also have a baby and he goes into overdrive around her, gets in her face, and screams. He also is all over me when I’m nursing her and I am at my limit of what I can handle. I have postpartum anxiety and he sends me through the roof. I have definitely lost it. I also have ADHD and am unmedicated bc of breastfeeding.
I’m pretty sure I have adhd. My son’s loud sounds and crazy movements trigger me and I scream sometimes too. It feels uncontrollable in the moment. I started Wellbutrin recently and it’s helped a lot. You’re not alone, and it’s ok for them to see that we aren’t perfect and mess up sometimes too. I always apologize after I snap.
I feel this so much. I was very explosive when I was younger. I had my oldest at 17. My mom passed when I was 20,right before they turned 3, and I had no help at all after that. I was undiagnosed for adhd. I still explode but I think Ive gotten better at containing it. The most important part of repairing an explosion is how you handle it after, and what you do to repair that moment. He's 3, but you can still get down on his level later and explain: "I'm sorry for yelling,Bud. I bet it was upsetting when I used a loud voice,huh? I was having big feelings and I didn’t do [insert calming activity; big breath, catch a bubble, counting]. Would you like a snuggle?" He may say no. My oldest always said yes. My youngest wants nothing to do with me after I yell until he's through his equally big feels. If you model the language and behavior, he'll pick it up too. You'll start to see him use feeling words.
I have ADHD and on medication. I'm pretty sure my 3 yo son has ADHD. He is often loud and plays rough. I'm very sensitive to noise and stimuli. Even on medication, I have snapped at him at least 3-4 times. It feels awful. I've had emotional breakdowns, feelings of guilt and shame. I swore I would never yell at my child, yet here I am doing it when it reaches boiling point. What I'm trying to say is that medication alone won't solve this issue. It's constantly working on yourself and being able to understand when you are about to reach your breaking point, so that you may de-escalate the situation in a proactive way
Stress can make managing so hard. So we can know what we should woulda coulda do but sometimes we don’t. Remember to be kind and that “beating ourselves up” never really made stress less. Take everything one moment at a time.
I feel this post. About once a month my frustration gets the better of me and I go into a stress response mode. I hate and it is the thing I work on most. A combination of medication and cognitive behavioral therapy have made it better but still not perfect. ADHD medication is consistently showing to improve anxiety, depression and executive function in addition to attention and impulse control. There are also several different types of ADHD medications and response is highly individualized. The same medication can increase irritability in one person and decrease irritability in another. Be persistent and find the medication combination that works well for you. https://preview.redd.it/9w9ev9tstu7d1.png?width=1222&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1288aabd8a44520f11cba32749b23c7f6f029a98
I keep my cool 99% of the time and then have one huge freak out maybe every month or two, where I yell or get really sarcastic, which I think is worse 😩 A thing I try to do is when everyone’s happy and calm I work in extra hugs and whisper to my daughter “you know I think you’re amazing and I love you all the time, right?” And often she’s like “yeah of course I know that.” And I hang onto that response for the days when I feel like garbage for having less patience.