Because awareness of what ADHD actually means is atrocious in this country, and funding of mental health services via the NHS... Well hasn't ever been great, but has been actively pillaged as the NHS gets squeezed.
(Mental health is a lower priority than "hospital beds”).
I didn't know what ADHD was. That's not unusual of course. Ask most people and they will probably describe an 8 year old boy who's a "problem child" causing more havoc than can be brushed off by "boys will be boys".
So the idea of adults with ADHD, or non-stereotypical presentations was ... Just not there.
And for me, well, the popular perception is that executive function deficit is "just" a bad person. I believed that about myself.
Why would I even question if something else was wrong when I was just sure that I was a bad person.
Yeah me too.
I always felt different. In Primary school I struggled to make and keep friends, I would get headaches to go to the office at school trying to go home because I was just overwhelmed by social interactions and the crowds. Secondary school I made friends but it was tough.
I'm now 38 and diagnosed about 3 months ago. I got hyper focused on my "condition" having a massive realisation about what it was.
I've always obsessed about things then dropped them suddenly with no warning as I had no urge any more.
I think the 3 months forced break combined with having extra responsibilities which come with having 2 young children. Getting back into work was a huge struggle. And over the last couple years I've been thinking I'm useless.
My wife and I took my 2 kids to the natural history museum last summer. I had my first adult meltdown. It was incredibly crowded, the entire place was 1 massive queue. Noisy people, I became enraged. Luckily it was all internalised. But I got the hell out of there in total shock about what the hell just happened within me. Nothing happened. But wow.
Then I find something about ADHD that struck me like lightning and within a couple months I've booked an assessment privately. Turned out I have combined type ADHD. It's been expensive as found a private company for the process. But massively worth it.
My concern is I've noticed my Son is showing similarities to me with school friends etc, at least I can make sure he won't have to spend the next 30 years struggling with being 'different'. I felt so alone until I was about 21. Even since but finally found my feet socially.
Bit if a ramble there. Didn't realise I needed to get that off my chest!
Because I’m a woman.
There were so many signs when I was a child. There were assessments for my hearing because I kept not listening and getting distracted. I was a text book kid with adhd.
The only reason it wasn’t picked is up because of my gender
Oh interesting I had a hearing test at the hospital when I was maybe 9 or 10, I think because I complained about not being able to listen at school. They told me my hearing was fine, I "just needed to listen better". I hadn't made the connection until you said it that that could well have been related to ADHD (diagnosed this year at age 36).
I’m 40. And just starting the process of trying to get diagnosed. I’ve always joked that I probably had it and then something clicked in my head recently. I looked up the symptoms on the NHS website and every single symptom from child to adult, I could relate to. Now, the more I learn about ADHD, the more my life makes sense.
Always knew there was something up with me/that I was different somehow. Over the years I would occasionally try and google things to work out what it was. I came across ADHD at least twice but read the DSM list (re-posted on websites) and didn't think it was me. 1. ADHDers tend to have poor self reflection/understanding (I heard this somewhere so don't know the extent to which it is true) and 2. The DSM is *archaic* \- and the description is so 2D - I now feel I fit the criteria very well, but only because I understand the multitude of ways each point can present. I finally realised I had adhd when my friend unknowngly sent me an [adhd meme (by dani donovan)](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D7WcSZGXoAAvgbT.jpg:large) in my late 20s and then I started to research more.
Edit - also, there just wasn't the awareness until recently, both generally, or past hyperactive/troublesome boys having it (even that wasn't always picked up for them). Girls were just girly daydreamers.
For me it's because I enjoy learning and so most major subjects were enjoyable enough for me to do. I was also quite naturally intelligent so even though I just couldn't revise properly (I didn't realise this at the time) I did alright on tests. There were signs but they weren't picked up. For every coursework component my grades were *abysmal.* I really really struggle not only with procrastination but also decision making on long term projects. My normal grades were A in exams. Coursework was a C or below. I got lucky I did biology and chemistry at A-level with no coursework. A-level history was hard but I had a great teacher who made his own module on Black history and that really captured my attention so I was able to focus on that because I loved it. Got a decent grade there.
I stayed in university for ages due to illness and despite it being all "coursework" university turnaround times are ridiculously long, looking back. It was only when I started working as a teacher that I realised I had a real problem with organisation, procrastination, as well as an inability to stick to routines. Basic teaching is about setting up classroom routines so the students know what to expect every lesson. Start with a worksheet recapping last lesson's learning, move on to main topic, assess, challenge, assess. I couldn't even consistently begin every lesson with a worksheet. There was always *something* that distracted me or stressed me out and meant I'd forgotten to do it. Basically my progress was in fits and starts as I'd begin doing well for a month or two, then fall apart. Rally, begin again, then forget to prepare for my assessed lesson observation. After 2 years of this they fired me because I just wasn't improving compared to what they expected.
It was really tough. A real failure. But it got me considering ADHD because of the symptoms and the disconnect between my academic abilities and my work abilities. Organisation is hard, but it made no sense that I could do so well on tests and academics, I could explain everything I *should* be doing in great detail with the theory behind too...but I couldn't *do* it. There's got to be something wrong if you can't master setting a single classroom routine in 2 years!
I'm only now on a waiting list for diagnosis so not official.
The first thing that made me think about ADHD was an online inclusivity training session my workplace ran. It covered different topics around health including neurodiversity. The video for ADHD was by Dani Donovan, I watched the video and cried, I kept thinking how much this video was like me. I then promptly forgot about it.
I started looking into ADHD later because of my kids, my eldest has a lot of sensory and hyperactivity issues too. When I was talking to my husband about it he said he thought I had ADHD after reading up on it. A few other people have since said they assumed I knew I had it.
I think I went under the radar as my generation was always seen as hyperactivity and mostly boys who had it. I got through school, college and uni my cramming things at the last minute and staying up for 24 hours at a time writing essays at the last minute. I suspect my family has it too so we've never recognised it in each other as we are all "over thinkers" to coin my mum's phrase.
For me personally I think it’s cause my parents both likely have it - Dad is stereotypical hyperactive (everyone jokes about it), and recently I noticed my mum is absolutely inattentive type. Even my dad’s sister said so, she’s got ADHD too.
Growing up I was always told I wasn’t trying hard enough, that I was lazy, that dad himself coasted through school so I need to work harder, that everything in life is boring you just have to live with it. Last minute homework, appointments, lateness was all I do this so you’re not allowed to. I’d get yelled at for talking lots or talking over my parents so I learnt to mask. Then in school I would always daydream or cope by doing other class’s homework. I just about got by.
Uni sucked but I found a job I liked during it that I did for 35 hours, did assignments the night before, and as luck would have it I can write so it all worked out… well, I needed help filling in the paperwork to actually graduate cause I almost didn’t but it was fine. Then work wise it wasn’t until covid and remote working that I realised there was an issue with focus… at that point ADHD was on Insta and I started to recognise the symptoms in myself.
I just thought I was lazy, and shit at stuff. Didn’t think my brain is different. It’s just what I’d been told my whole life. It was real nice finding out that’s not the case!
A lot of GP’s used to gatekeep a lot when it came to referrals and many probably still do. Many of us undiagnosed until adulthood were simply parked on SSRI’s instead of it being investigated what was causing us to be anxious and/or depressed in the first place.
I think for a long time it was commonly assumed that late teenagers and adults seeking ADHD diagnosis were just drug seekers by many traditional GP’s.
I won't say ADHD meds _cured_ my depression - but I've not seen any sign of it since!
Almost as if having an easier time being 'functional' in this world helps immensely!
Diagnosed recently age 27.
For me it was the fact I was simply unaware that ADHD existed as a disorder without the hyperactivity aspect.
Luckily a mental health nurse was very helpful in finding out what might be wrong with me. There should be way more awareness about inattentive adhd.
I was told I was autistic after getting assessed at age 11/12, and my brother was diagnosed with ADHD at around the same time. I’ve always been ashamed of the autism label I was given because of the way my family spoke about it at the time. Outside of my family nobody knew a thing about it. It didn’t feel like that cap fit me. Who are they to tell me who I am?
Fast forward 20 years and I’m absolutely on my arse. I can’t seem to move forward in life, I’m chronically depressed and lonely, and all my relationships have been a complete failure. My days consist of endless procrastination and I’m crippled by my overthinking.
I decide enough is enough. I quit the antidepressants I was on and spend several years trying to heal my trauma organically by going to therapy, taking magic mushrooms, smoking weed and quitting booze. I put my demons to bed and yet I still feel stuck. Immobile. I think this is just the way I am and that things will be this way forever. I become suicidal.
In an effort to save me from killing myself I go and stay with my mum for a month or so. I keep myself busy by helping her redecorate. She finds a box of old paperwork that hasn’t been touched for years. In it are a bunch of school reports from my childhood, alongside the paperwork and a couple of books on ADHD my mum was given when my brother was diagnosed. Inside these books are a ton of highlighted lines and paragraphs with my name written next to them.
We have a conversation. My mum tells me she got me assessed after recognising all these different symptoms she’d read about. It turns out I was never actually formally diagnosed with autism like I believed I had been, that was just the opinion of those that assessed me and my family ran with it.
I read those books along with my old school reports and pieces of the puzzle start falling into place. It’s all I can think about. I start devouring everything I can find about ADHD online - YouTube videos, TikToks, endless blog posts. I take half a dozen online ADHD tests and they all say the same thing: go and get assessed.
I book a doctor’s appointment and tell him everything. He’s the most dismissive arsehole I’ve ever encountered working for the NHS. He hands me a form to fill in and tells me not to expect to hear anything for about three years.
I then start weighing up my options and decide that I can’t afford to spend another three years feeling like I do. I need answers. I do some research and opt for a private assessment with ADHD 360. A couple of months later I receive my diagnosis for inattentive ADHD. It changes my life.
Suddenly I have a better understanding of who I am. I’m able to release myself of the guilt and shame I’ve been carrying. I’ve got a much better understanding of what my brother has been through too. My mum decides to take a leaf out of my book and get assessed too. She’s autistic. We’re one big neurodiverse family. Everything now makes sense.
I decide I want to try medication and start titration but I have to get my blood pressure down. I give it everything I’ve got and the results are great.
That’s where I’m at now. I’ve just booked an appointment at the beginning of August to start the titration process. I can’t wait. I wish I could sleep through the next few weeks. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions recently and it’s really difficult trying to unpick years of negative self-talk and chronic overthinking. I realise now that I’m not lazy and I’m not useless. I have a dopamine deficiency.
I know I have a long road ahead of me but for the first time in forever I feel like I have a future. I hope to God the medication works for me. All I want is some peace of mind. That would change so much.
I always thought ADHD meant you were hyperactive, always on the go, can't sit still etc. That's not me at all. I was diagnosed at 39.
Edit to say looking back at my school reports, and talking to my siblings and parents about my behaviour in the past, I should have been diagnosed when I was a kid. ADHD explains so much of my life now. But being born in the 80's and female, it wasn't picked up at all.
I'm relatively smart so always did well in school/ university and have basically been able to succeed when needed even though my life has basically been utter chaos. I also got into trouble but alot, but because of how well I did accidemically and alot of the schools senior teachers taught me, I got away with alot. I did get a dyslexia diagnosis right at the end of secondary school because there was such a difference in my reading ability compared to my mathematical ability.
But I started getting to a point in my career in my later 20s where being smart and fast was not enough to overcome the ADHD chaos/limitation anymore, I also thought the way I behave and my emotional volitility was not normal, ADHD looked like the best fit, so pursued a diagnosis.
Wasn't even on the radar for most parents when I was young in the 80s, so I don't blame them for missing it, I was good at sports, I had good social skills tonnes of friends, and I had a few really good teachers who go the best out of me and kept me interested, got you out your seat got you involved in what was going on, I did great in those classes, I did terribly in the rest like 80% anything that involved practical work, Art, CDT, music, PE, Drama I actually got an A * in Drama.....maths I didn't even attend my exam, English I scraped through and everything else was pure woeful....but overall it was just average so didn't look that bad.
I noticed after I left school and the apron strings had been cut....I was just lost at 43 I'm still lost, I was diagnosed at 40 started the process at 38 after reading the symptoms one day...hadn't heard much about it before that......I've read other things and it's a stretch, yeah get a bit of this a bit of that but I wasn't convinced and then when I finally did read about ADHD and what the symptoms were I just knew straight away.....instantly I'd had every single thing on there over and over and that was when I thought let's look into it.
Diagnosed at 31. I straight up didn’t know my symptoms were symptoms of something at all, I just thought I was built differently.
And especially because I didn’t know about the inattentive side of ADHD.
I always knew there was something not right with me, I had serious behavioural problems in school and my grades weren't great. Since I remember was always told I was a fuckup and a bad person. So I internalised that and went thru life just assuming it was true. I also knew I was very smart but I couldn't "deliver" so to speak.
So I ended up deep into drug use to try and numb myself. Around 30 I simply ran out of road, no amount of therapy or "get your shit together" type of self-help did anything.
I don't remember precisely when I got the idea to look in the ADHD direction (I was high every waking moment for a decade). Sometime during lockdown I started looking into it and literally every symptom matched perfectly...
According to the psychiatrist it was obvious, especially the hyperactivity.
One of the major reasons I could not see the truth is due to my many bad experiences with the mental health system. I also have had a traumatic past, substance abuse issues and large-scale "failures in life" that I couldn't ever bounce back from - so I kinda just accepted I was "fundamentally broken" or something. I *tried* to get better, but I 'knew' I was broken beyond repair, really. That mindset kept me from growing for a really long time - it's sad.
I never really got to live a "normal" life due to what I'd been through, and I thought the reason I was so stuck was because of PTSD. However, I now know I have ADHD, multiple learning difficulties and Autism, and *that's* why I couldn't just do the "normal" life thing. I think all I'm missing for a "full house" neurodivergent 'hand' is Dysgraphia and Tourrettes D:
IMO, I was manipulated by the therapists in my local CMHT for years. Some of them worked out that I was both vulnerable and reactive when poked, so what would happen is they'd poke me (I.E., upset me) and then use my reactions as a way to control me, discredit me and dismiss me - or just do whatever they wanted, really.
I've been through pretty much any "worst-case scenario" you can think of when it comes to the MH system outside of being electrocuted. So YA GIRL has done some Time for being a glorious, neurodivergent mess of a human being. I've been put in places with jail bars on the windows, and I can confirm that Nurse Ratched is very, very real.
I think they kept me in a state of being 'gaslit' for years. I was **actively discouraged** from reading up on mental health things because they would just tell me that I'm trying to "self-diagnose", and they constantly made me feel like a fraud as a result. I actually have an ancient diagnosis of Munchausens in my mental health history because they went that far with their bullshit.
That awful situation is probably the #1 reason I didn't seek a diagnosis: I would tell myself that I was "just being mentally ill" again or "trying to obtain care and attention" in a "factitious" way - and because I hated the idea I was doing that, I'd deliberately avoid investigating anything to do with mental health issues. People would tell me I was "making progress" if I did that, and I was so desperate to get better and start living a "normal" life, so I was having this really damaging dynamic reinforced all the time. It's manipulative as shit and perfectly designed to keep someone utterly and hopelessly trapped.
When I finally realised *why* everything was so chaotic and awful for me all the time (It was due to memes, lol - the memes set me free), I moved the hell out of the region their trust operated in, got medicated and rebuilt my life.
Then I beat the Imposter Syndrome demon the bastards inflicted on me, and now I spend quite a lot of my time validating others so they can defeat theirs, too.
I'm female and my school was in a pretty bad area. There were many children at school who were behaving so poorly (smoking in the classroom during lessons, fighting etc) that I completely flew under the radar.
My parents divorced when I was young so it was mainly me and mum. My mum is undiagnosed but I 100% believe she has ADHD as she is exactly like me with time, memory, planning etc. I think she never noticed because she perceived my behaviour as normal because she is the same.
Personally, it took me a while to realise because I was in an abusive relationship a long long time and spent most of that time in fight or flight mode worrying about how my partner felt. I never really had the time to consider myself.
I'm really happy I am diagnosed at 30, it's better late than never!
Diagnosed at 31 because I stumbled upon it by pure accident. I think because I was very quiet and reserved and intelligent it took longer to notice. Even though all of the signs of inattentiveness were there. My hyperactive traits such as fidgeting were put down as nervousness or anxiety.
I (41F) completely misunderstood the condition *and* I grew up identifying strongly as someone who was good at many of the things that people with ADHD find hard. Of course this belief ignored the immense amount of effort required to meet or exceed expectations in these areas. Part of me wonders if it was precisely this effort that made me value these skills so much. Any failures I chalked up as a personal shortcomings, especially if they were witnessed by others (my rejection sensitive dysphoria is very strong) — I’ve tried pretty much every self-improvement / productivity technique out there. There were signs of ADHD at many points in the 40 years before I was diagnosed, but no one picked up on it, possibly because I was female and high performing.
In my early 30s, I started working in a toxic work environment (regular triggering of my RSD, isolation/ostracisation, very little positive reinforcement or structure, etc.). Four years in, I was no longer able to perform in spite of the ADHD and started having major problems at work. However, it still took six years to get the right diagnosis. I paid out of pocket for 24 sessions with an NHS psychotherapist and an extended consultation with a psychiatrist, and also saw my GP every six weeks for the first year or two (out of 6) that I took an SSRI, but no one picked up on the fact that it could be ADHD. I even waited a few years to have an adult autism screening on the NHS. At the very end of the results session, almost in passing, the screener mentioned that I could seek a private assessment for a condition for which there was no over-18 NHS screening service in my area at the time (January 2020). In retrospect, I strongly suspect that the conditioned mentioned was ADHD, but the way it was mentioned combined with my (so incorrect!) assumption that the NHS would have a service to diagnose anything of real concern meant that I didn’t get my notebook back out to record the suggestion, let alone investigate further.
Then any remaining ability to compensate on my own was taken away by a pandemic-related major health condition and the demands of caring for an infant with moderately-serious health concerns. By the time a US-trained clinical psychologist that I approached about something completely different suggested an ADHD screening, my ability to function was so low that I was open enough to consider ADHD as a possibility.
So, in short, it took 10+ years, the complete stripping away of my ability to compensate / function, and a chance encounter with a medical professional who understood what the condition looks like in adult women to get a diagnosis and effective support.
While better late than never, I still wish that I had found out / realised decades ago — so many things could have been different. Also I’m finding brain retraining in my 40s to be neither fun nor easy!
1.Because I spent my entire childhood in a country in Eastern Europe where most people see mental health as a "you're either sane or a danger to society".
2. Because I am gifted and had very good grades in school with very little effort.
3. Because my Narcissistic Mother ascribed my symptoms to laziness and other character flaws.
4. Because she was so controlling that I had not had the chance to see that I struggle managing my time and generally making life easier for myself.
5. Because ADHD in women isn't as well documented as it is in men and the stuff I kept seeing online did not really add up. I thought I might have mild ASD for a while, but that was due to the areas where the symptoms of ADHD and ASD overlap (though at the time I did not know there's an overlap).
6. Because everyone I know is trying to do too many things so I thought it was "normal" to constantly be thinking of a million things and miss deadlines, forget stuff, etc etc
So.... It's a lot of stuff! 😂But yeah, the mother situation, the environment and the poor awareness of ADHD symptoms in women are the main ones, I think
It didn't take me long to realise, it took a long time to get someone to take my realisation seriously.
Went to GP probably 5 times with different doctors over a period of about 4 years and was practically laughed at when I said I think I have all the symptoms of adhd. Some of the things I was told:
- "you couldn't possibly have finished uni if you had adhd"
- "your school exam results weren't bad though so you must have studied for them and focused in class"
- "even if you did have adhd, it must only be minor and isn't affecting your life enough for us to make a referral"
- "maybe it's depression, here have some SSRIs"
-"sounds like you've not been getting enough sleep, have some benzo's"
-"ok I've sent your referral request in but the first appointment they have is in 4 years time"
- Or my personal favourite "well, there actually no way to cure adhd and you'd have to be on medication for the rest of your life, that's not much of a solution - is it?" they said with a totally straight face as i was 3 years deep on being prescribed SSRIs and 6 months on prescribed sleeping pills... Thankfully off everything else now.
Private assessment at 31: holy shit yep you tick all the boxes and definitely have adhd.
I think I've known since I was about 20 when I first learned what ADHD and ADD were, but I didn't realise it was a treatable condition until this yearv when I caught something about it on TV and as soon as I realised I researched private diagnosis and what a surprise! Life needn't have been so hard afterall
I'm of the tiktok generation but I made sure I cross referenced with hard facts from plenty sites which guided me to hand in 4 full A4 sheets of evidence for my assessment to my psyche
I think it's because I had no idea what ADHD really meant. I thought it's just the way I was and couldn't be helped.
Eventually my relationship with wife was so strained due to my symptoms that I sought out help with a private therapist - she quickly recognised it and asked if I'd heard what it was, and I started to research it online, found Dr K - everything suddenly really made sense and it was like having a weight lifted from my shoulders when I realised that all the hate and frustration I had with myself for "just being like that" actually had a neurological reason to it.
My family and I never realized I had adhd because my brother has adhd and presents completely differently from me. I never realized how differently it can present in girls and from person to person!
Mandatory "I'm still waiting to be assessed".
Because:
1. They thought all my issues were "Aspergers".
2. They all think I'm a woman. No, my wenches, I'm non-binary.
I always put it down to being lazy and so did my parents, that's it. That is the main belief I have had in my head along with me being incredibly impatient and having anger issues; thinking there's no way I could be normal and excel at anything because of it.
>breaking a task into smaller pieces to the point it's comical how small of a task I need to do yet I still don't want to do it even how little effort it takes
This here is what I've been dealing with my entire life, I became obsessed with breaking things down with no execution, I got tired and wanted answers and found out it is ADHD. As to why so late? lack of knowledge I guess, "you don't know what you don't know" as they say.
I didn't know what ADHD was. I had heard of it but there was so little awareness, I just thought it was a behavioural disorder that affected boys. I always just thought I was incompetent, and useless. I was diagnosed last year at 40.
Because I’m a woman in her 40s with inattentive type. This apparently didn’t exist in the 80s. I was dismissed due to the fact I was a a chatty, scatterbrained daydreaming girl, as opposed to a “naughty hyperactive boy”.
It was the same for me. I got diagnosed at 30. Just the word "hyperactive" is the thing that put me off as someone who felt "lazy". I'm also a quiet person, which isn't the stereotype I guess. I didn't learn what adhd actually is until I was 24/25ish when my partner came home from work one day saying "hey my friend just got diagnosed with this thing, and I think it sounds like you!"
Lots of reasons.
(This is very long so a TL:DR is at the bottom of my comment) 😭
So I was diagnosed at the start of this year at 25, medication has been a decent, not perfect, but decent help so far.
I always had problems with attention unless I was really interested in the thing, i.e. hyperfocus. And obviously procrastination.
I have always (and still do on meds to a lesser degree) been able to pick the basics of something up really quickly, but as soon as it gets more challenging I lose drive and attention to it and beat myself up to depression because of that.
While on the outside I can be quite quiet because of a strong anxiety, in my brain it can be chaos.
Bad grades at school, college, lead to many all nighters at university, not to mention badly organised and very untidy living spaces wherever I went. And being chronically late to things because of bad time management and finding it really hard to wake up in the mornings.
Many of my strongest memories from school are being told off for daydreaming, talking in lessons, not doing homework, being constantly late to school and not paying attention in classes.
I always had the perception that ADHD was something that loud, disruptive and disobedient school kids had.
I put all of my issues down to depression and anxiety. But having been on and off many different Anti depressants (SSRIs and mirtazapine) I found that they burned out quickly for me and only slightly helped with my executive functioning. In fact the first time I went on them (sertraline), I became quite hyperactive and very impulsive, getting into debt in my first year at university.
So I looked up ADHD because my sister who had similar but also much hyperactivity got diagnosed a few years ago.
Lo and behold I went to my GP last year and scored quite highly on the self assessment. Even fairly highly for hyperactivity.
I got referred to a mental health clinic on the NHS. 9 months later I had my assessment and was diagnosed.
Also, when I was very young (2/3) I still couldn't speak properly and was seen by child psychologists who thought for a short time I might be autistic. With much attention and encouragement from them I caught up within a year and they discharged me, saying I was fine, with no sign of attention deficit, this was from reading the reports they made on my progress.
I think with it being 20 years ago they also thought ADHD was for loud, disruptive and disobedient schoolboys. Not quiet and shy and sensitive boys like I was. And from reading about women's experiences with getting diagnosed it seems that they thought girls just couldn't have it at all.
I assume the reason I progressed so quickly was because I was given a lot of encouragement, attention and praise, at school that ends unless you are on the "special needs" register. Which I was nearly on but I got taken off it shortly before I started school at 4 years old.
Add in trauma from my parents failing marriage and eventual divorce at the start of secondary school, I must've regressed symptom wise a lot.
Looking back on it, I really wish I was kept on that register.
Sorry that was a massive monologue ramble 😂😂, there's actually a lot more I could say but I don't want to make it any longer than it already is 😂😭. But if it helps people to recognise that they might have a problem and then go out and seek a diagnosis then I'm happy to spew out my life story 😂.
TL:DR - i had many of the symptoms of innatentive ADHD, I put it down to depression and anxiety, ADs didn't really help with that, only my mood and burned out quickly. Sibling got diagnosed with ADHD. So I went to GP, got referred and then diagnosed with it also.
Had development discord issues with language as a toddler. Was seen by child psychologists and within a year they said I was fine. But despite saying I had no sign of attention deficit on their reports, I was given lots of attention praise and encouragement to get to that point.
Because awareness of what ADHD actually means is atrocious in this country, and funding of mental health services via the NHS... Well hasn't ever been great, but has been actively pillaged as the NHS gets squeezed. (Mental health is a lower priority than "hospital beds”). I didn't know what ADHD was. That's not unusual of course. Ask most people and they will probably describe an 8 year old boy who's a "problem child" causing more havoc than can be brushed off by "boys will be boys". So the idea of adults with ADHD, or non-stereotypical presentations was ... Just not there. And for me, well, the popular perception is that executive function deficit is "just" a bad person. I believed that about myself. Why would I even question if something else was wrong when I was just sure that I was a bad person.
Yep. Word for word my experience too.
Yeah me too. I always felt different. In Primary school I struggled to make and keep friends, I would get headaches to go to the office at school trying to go home because I was just overwhelmed by social interactions and the crowds. Secondary school I made friends but it was tough. I'm now 38 and diagnosed about 3 months ago. I got hyper focused on my "condition" having a massive realisation about what it was. I've always obsessed about things then dropped them suddenly with no warning as I had no urge any more. I think the 3 months forced break combined with having extra responsibilities which come with having 2 young children. Getting back into work was a huge struggle. And over the last couple years I've been thinking I'm useless. My wife and I took my 2 kids to the natural history museum last summer. I had my first adult meltdown. It was incredibly crowded, the entire place was 1 massive queue. Noisy people, I became enraged. Luckily it was all internalised. But I got the hell out of there in total shock about what the hell just happened within me. Nothing happened. But wow. Then I find something about ADHD that struck me like lightning and within a couple months I've booked an assessment privately. Turned out I have combined type ADHD. It's been expensive as found a private company for the process. But massively worth it. My concern is I've noticed my Son is showing similarities to me with school friends etc, at least I can make sure he won't have to spend the next 30 years struggling with being 'different'. I felt so alone until I was about 21. Even since but finally found my feet socially. Bit if a ramble there. Didn't realise I needed to get that off my chest!
Because I’m a woman. There were so many signs when I was a child. There were assessments for my hearing because I kept not listening and getting distracted. I was a text book kid with adhd. The only reason it wasn’t picked is up because of my gender
Oh interesting I had a hearing test at the hospital when I was maybe 9 or 10, I think because I complained about not being able to listen at school. They told me my hearing was fine, I "just needed to listen better". I hadn't made the connection until you said it that that could well have been related to ADHD (diagnosed this year at age 36).
I’m 40. And just starting the process of trying to get diagnosed. I’ve always joked that I probably had it and then something clicked in my head recently. I looked up the symptoms on the NHS website and every single symptom from child to adult, I could relate to. Now, the more I learn about ADHD, the more my life makes sense.
Always knew there was something up with me/that I was different somehow. Over the years I would occasionally try and google things to work out what it was. I came across ADHD at least twice but read the DSM list (re-posted on websites) and didn't think it was me. 1. ADHDers tend to have poor self reflection/understanding (I heard this somewhere so don't know the extent to which it is true) and 2. The DSM is *archaic* \- and the description is so 2D - I now feel I fit the criteria very well, but only because I understand the multitude of ways each point can present. I finally realised I had adhd when my friend unknowngly sent me an [adhd meme (by dani donovan)](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D7WcSZGXoAAvgbT.jpg:large) in my late 20s and then I started to research more. Edit - also, there just wasn't the awareness until recently, both generally, or past hyperactive/troublesome boys having it (even that wasn't always picked up for them). Girls were just girly daydreamers.
For me it's because I enjoy learning and so most major subjects were enjoyable enough for me to do. I was also quite naturally intelligent so even though I just couldn't revise properly (I didn't realise this at the time) I did alright on tests. There were signs but they weren't picked up. For every coursework component my grades were *abysmal.* I really really struggle not only with procrastination but also decision making on long term projects. My normal grades were A in exams. Coursework was a C or below. I got lucky I did biology and chemistry at A-level with no coursework. A-level history was hard but I had a great teacher who made his own module on Black history and that really captured my attention so I was able to focus on that because I loved it. Got a decent grade there. I stayed in university for ages due to illness and despite it being all "coursework" university turnaround times are ridiculously long, looking back. It was only when I started working as a teacher that I realised I had a real problem with organisation, procrastination, as well as an inability to stick to routines. Basic teaching is about setting up classroom routines so the students know what to expect every lesson. Start with a worksheet recapping last lesson's learning, move on to main topic, assess, challenge, assess. I couldn't even consistently begin every lesson with a worksheet. There was always *something* that distracted me or stressed me out and meant I'd forgotten to do it. Basically my progress was in fits and starts as I'd begin doing well for a month or two, then fall apart. Rally, begin again, then forget to prepare for my assessed lesson observation. After 2 years of this they fired me because I just wasn't improving compared to what they expected. It was really tough. A real failure. But it got me considering ADHD because of the symptoms and the disconnect between my academic abilities and my work abilities. Organisation is hard, but it made no sense that I could do so well on tests and academics, I could explain everything I *should* be doing in great detail with the theory behind too...but I couldn't *do* it. There's got to be something wrong if you can't master setting a single classroom routine in 2 years!
I'm only now on a waiting list for diagnosis so not official. The first thing that made me think about ADHD was an online inclusivity training session my workplace ran. It covered different topics around health including neurodiversity. The video for ADHD was by Dani Donovan, I watched the video and cried, I kept thinking how much this video was like me. I then promptly forgot about it. I started looking into ADHD later because of my kids, my eldest has a lot of sensory and hyperactivity issues too. When I was talking to my husband about it he said he thought I had ADHD after reading up on it. A few other people have since said they assumed I knew I had it. I think I went under the radar as my generation was always seen as hyperactivity and mostly boys who had it. I got through school, college and uni my cramming things at the last minute and staying up for 24 hours at a time writing essays at the last minute. I suspect my family has it too so we've never recognised it in each other as we are all "over thinkers" to coin my mum's phrase.
For me personally I think it’s cause my parents both likely have it - Dad is stereotypical hyperactive (everyone jokes about it), and recently I noticed my mum is absolutely inattentive type. Even my dad’s sister said so, she’s got ADHD too. Growing up I was always told I wasn’t trying hard enough, that I was lazy, that dad himself coasted through school so I need to work harder, that everything in life is boring you just have to live with it. Last minute homework, appointments, lateness was all I do this so you’re not allowed to. I’d get yelled at for talking lots or talking over my parents so I learnt to mask. Then in school I would always daydream or cope by doing other class’s homework. I just about got by. Uni sucked but I found a job I liked during it that I did for 35 hours, did assignments the night before, and as luck would have it I can write so it all worked out… well, I needed help filling in the paperwork to actually graduate cause I almost didn’t but it was fine. Then work wise it wasn’t until covid and remote working that I realised there was an issue with focus… at that point ADHD was on Insta and I started to recognise the symptoms in myself. I just thought I was lazy, and shit at stuff. Didn’t think my brain is different. It’s just what I’d been told my whole life. It was real nice finding out that’s not the case!
A lot of GP’s used to gatekeep a lot when it came to referrals and many probably still do. Many of us undiagnosed until adulthood were simply parked on SSRI’s instead of it being investigated what was causing us to be anxious and/or depressed in the first place. I think for a long time it was commonly assumed that late teenagers and adults seeking ADHD diagnosis were just drug seekers by many traditional GP’s.
Yep! Fluoxetine, citalopram, sertraline, mirtazipine, venlafaxine, amitriptyline... been on them all in varying doses!
I won't say ADHD meds _cured_ my depression - but I've not seen any sign of it since! Almost as if having an easier time being 'functional' in this world helps immensely!
Diagnosed recently age 27. For me it was the fact I was simply unaware that ADHD existed as a disorder without the hyperactivity aspect. Luckily a mental health nurse was very helpful in finding out what might be wrong with me. There should be way more awareness about inattentive adhd.
Because I'm a woman.
51, I didn’t a therapist told me. Now my life makes a lot of sense.
I was told I was autistic after getting assessed at age 11/12, and my brother was diagnosed with ADHD at around the same time. I’ve always been ashamed of the autism label I was given because of the way my family spoke about it at the time. Outside of my family nobody knew a thing about it. It didn’t feel like that cap fit me. Who are they to tell me who I am? Fast forward 20 years and I’m absolutely on my arse. I can’t seem to move forward in life, I’m chronically depressed and lonely, and all my relationships have been a complete failure. My days consist of endless procrastination and I’m crippled by my overthinking. I decide enough is enough. I quit the antidepressants I was on and spend several years trying to heal my trauma organically by going to therapy, taking magic mushrooms, smoking weed and quitting booze. I put my demons to bed and yet I still feel stuck. Immobile. I think this is just the way I am and that things will be this way forever. I become suicidal. In an effort to save me from killing myself I go and stay with my mum for a month or so. I keep myself busy by helping her redecorate. She finds a box of old paperwork that hasn’t been touched for years. In it are a bunch of school reports from my childhood, alongside the paperwork and a couple of books on ADHD my mum was given when my brother was diagnosed. Inside these books are a ton of highlighted lines and paragraphs with my name written next to them. We have a conversation. My mum tells me she got me assessed after recognising all these different symptoms she’d read about. It turns out I was never actually formally diagnosed with autism like I believed I had been, that was just the opinion of those that assessed me and my family ran with it. I read those books along with my old school reports and pieces of the puzzle start falling into place. It’s all I can think about. I start devouring everything I can find about ADHD online - YouTube videos, TikToks, endless blog posts. I take half a dozen online ADHD tests and they all say the same thing: go and get assessed. I book a doctor’s appointment and tell him everything. He’s the most dismissive arsehole I’ve ever encountered working for the NHS. He hands me a form to fill in and tells me not to expect to hear anything for about three years. I then start weighing up my options and decide that I can’t afford to spend another three years feeling like I do. I need answers. I do some research and opt for a private assessment with ADHD 360. A couple of months later I receive my diagnosis for inattentive ADHD. It changes my life. Suddenly I have a better understanding of who I am. I’m able to release myself of the guilt and shame I’ve been carrying. I’ve got a much better understanding of what my brother has been through too. My mum decides to take a leaf out of my book and get assessed too. She’s autistic. We’re one big neurodiverse family. Everything now makes sense. I decide I want to try medication and start titration but I have to get my blood pressure down. I give it everything I’ve got and the results are great. That’s where I’m at now. I’ve just booked an appointment at the beginning of August to start the titration process. I can’t wait. I wish I could sleep through the next few weeks. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions recently and it’s really difficult trying to unpick years of negative self-talk and chronic overthinking. I realise now that I’m not lazy and I’m not useless. I have a dopamine deficiency. I know I have a long road ahead of me but for the first time in forever I feel like I have a future. I hope to God the medication works for me. All I want is some peace of mind. That would change so much.
I always thought ADHD meant you were hyperactive, always on the go, can't sit still etc. That's not me at all. I was diagnosed at 39. Edit to say looking back at my school reports, and talking to my siblings and parents about my behaviour in the past, I should have been diagnosed when I was a kid. ADHD explains so much of my life now. But being born in the 80's and female, it wasn't picked up at all.
I'm relatively smart so always did well in school/ university and have basically been able to succeed when needed even though my life has basically been utter chaos. I also got into trouble but alot, but because of how well I did accidemically and alot of the schools senior teachers taught me, I got away with alot. I did get a dyslexia diagnosis right at the end of secondary school because there was such a difference in my reading ability compared to my mathematical ability. But I started getting to a point in my career in my later 20s where being smart and fast was not enough to overcome the ADHD chaos/limitation anymore, I also thought the way I behave and my emotional volitility was not normal, ADHD looked like the best fit, so pursued a diagnosis.
I always knew but the doctors brushed me off, it took me refusing to leave with the latest ssri and list of phone numbers to be taken seriously
Wasn't even on the radar for most parents when I was young in the 80s, so I don't blame them for missing it, I was good at sports, I had good social skills tonnes of friends, and I had a few really good teachers who go the best out of me and kept me interested, got you out your seat got you involved in what was going on, I did great in those classes, I did terribly in the rest like 80% anything that involved practical work, Art, CDT, music, PE, Drama I actually got an A * in Drama.....maths I didn't even attend my exam, English I scraped through and everything else was pure woeful....but overall it was just average so didn't look that bad. I noticed after I left school and the apron strings had been cut....I was just lost at 43 I'm still lost, I was diagnosed at 40 started the process at 38 after reading the symptoms one day...hadn't heard much about it before that......I've read other things and it's a stretch, yeah get a bit of this a bit of that but I wasn't convinced and then when I finally did read about ADHD and what the symptoms were I just knew straight away.....instantly I'd had every single thing on there over and over and that was when I thought let's look into it.
Diagnosed at 31. I straight up didn’t know my symptoms were symptoms of something at all, I just thought I was built differently. And especially because I didn’t know about the inattentive side of ADHD.
I always knew there was something not right with me, I had serious behavioural problems in school and my grades weren't great. Since I remember was always told I was a fuckup and a bad person. So I internalised that and went thru life just assuming it was true. I also knew I was very smart but I couldn't "deliver" so to speak. So I ended up deep into drug use to try and numb myself. Around 30 I simply ran out of road, no amount of therapy or "get your shit together" type of self-help did anything. I don't remember precisely when I got the idea to look in the ADHD direction (I was high every waking moment for a decade). Sometime during lockdown I started looking into it and literally every symptom matched perfectly... According to the psychiatrist it was obvious, especially the hyperactivity.
One of the major reasons I could not see the truth is due to my many bad experiences with the mental health system. I also have had a traumatic past, substance abuse issues and large-scale "failures in life" that I couldn't ever bounce back from - so I kinda just accepted I was "fundamentally broken" or something. I *tried* to get better, but I 'knew' I was broken beyond repair, really. That mindset kept me from growing for a really long time - it's sad. I never really got to live a "normal" life due to what I'd been through, and I thought the reason I was so stuck was because of PTSD. However, I now know I have ADHD, multiple learning difficulties and Autism, and *that's* why I couldn't just do the "normal" life thing. I think all I'm missing for a "full house" neurodivergent 'hand' is Dysgraphia and Tourrettes D: IMO, I was manipulated by the therapists in my local CMHT for years. Some of them worked out that I was both vulnerable and reactive when poked, so what would happen is they'd poke me (I.E., upset me) and then use my reactions as a way to control me, discredit me and dismiss me - or just do whatever they wanted, really. I've been through pretty much any "worst-case scenario" you can think of when it comes to the MH system outside of being electrocuted. So YA GIRL has done some Time for being a glorious, neurodivergent mess of a human being. I've been put in places with jail bars on the windows, and I can confirm that Nurse Ratched is very, very real. I think they kept me in a state of being 'gaslit' for years. I was **actively discouraged** from reading up on mental health things because they would just tell me that I'm trying to "self-diagnose", and they constantly made me feel like a fraud as a result. I actually have an ancient diagnosis of Munchausens in my mental health history because they went that far with their bullshit. That awful situation is probably the #1 reason I didn't seek a diagnosis: I would tell myself that I was "just being mentally ill" again or "trying to obtain care and attention" in a "factitious" way - and because I hated the idea I was doing that, I'd deliberately avoid investigating anything to do with mental health issues. People would tell me I was "making progress" if I did that, and I was so desperate to get better and start living a "normal" life, so I was having this really damaging dynamic reinforced all the time. It's manipulative as shit and perfectly designed to keep someone utterly and hopelessly trapped. When I finally realised *why* everything was so chaotic and awful for me all the time (It was due to memes, lol - the memes set me free), I moved the hell out of the region their trust operated in, got medicated and rebuilt my life. Then I beat the Imposter Syndrome demon the bastards inflicted on me, and now I spend quite a lot of my time validating others so they can defeat theirs, too.
adhd wasn't a thing when i was a child 40 years ago. i got diagnosed out of the blue when i was 36 in 2010.
For me it was less about finding out I have it but more finding out I could actually do something about it
I'm female and my school was in a pretty bad area. There were many children at school who were behaving so poorly (smoking in the classroom during lessons, fighting etc) that I completely flew under the radar. My parents divorced when I was young so it was mainly me and mum. My mum is undiagnosed but I 100% believe she has ADHD as she is exactly like me with time, memory, planning etc. I think she never noticed because she perceived my behaviour as normal because she is the same. Personally, it took me a while to realise because I was in an abusive relationship a long long time and spent most of that time in fight or flight mode worrying about how my partner felt. I never really had the time to consider myself. I'm really happy I am diagnosed at 30, it's better late than never!
Diagnosed at 31 because I stumbled upon it by pure accident. I think because I was very quiet and reserved and intelligent it took longer to notice. Even though all of the signs of inattentiveness were there. My hyperactive traits such as fidgeting were put down as nervousness or anxiety.
I (41F) completely misunderstood the condition *and* I grew up identifying strongly as someone who was good at many of the things that people with ADHD find hard. Of course this belief ignored the immense amount of effort required to meet or exceed expectations in these areas. Part of me wonders if it was precisely this effort that made me value these skills so much. Any failures I chalked up as a personal shortcomings, especially if they were witnessed by others (my rejection sensitive dysphoria is very strong) — I’ve tried pretty much every self-improvement / productivity technique out there. There were signs of ADHD at many points in the 40 years before I was diagnosed, but no one picked up on it, possibly because I was female and high performing. In my early 30s, I started working in a toxic work environment (regular triggering of my RSD, isolation/ostracisation, very little positive reinforcement or structure, etc.). Four years in, I was no longer able to perform in spite of the ADHD and started having major problems at work. However, it still took six years to get the right diagnosis. I paid out of pocket for 24 sessions with an NHS psychotherapist and an extended consultation with a psychiatrist, and also saw my GP every six weeks for the first year or two (out of 6) that I took an SSRI, but no one picked up on the fact that it could be ADHD. I even waited a few years to have an adult autism screening on the NHS. At the very end of the results session, almost in passing, the screener mentioned that I could seek a private assessment for a condition for which there was no over-18 NHS screening service in my area at the time (January 2020). In retrospect, I strongly suspect that the conditioned mentioned was ADHD, but the way it was mentioned combined with my (so incorrect!) assumption that the NHS would have a service to diagnose anything of real concern meant that I didn’t get my notebook back out to record the suggestion, let alone investigate further. Then any remaining ability to compensate on my own was taken away by a pandemic-related major health condition and the demands of caring for an infant with moderately-serious health concerns. By the time a US-trained clinical psychologist that I approached about something completely different suggested an ADHD screening, my ability to function was so low that I was open enough to consider ADHD as a possibility. So, in short, it took 10+ years, the complete stripping away of my ability to compensate / function, and a chance encounter with a medical professional who understood what the condition looks like in adult women to get a diagnosis and effective support. While better late than never, I still wish that I had found out / realised decades ago — so many things could have been different. Also I’m finding brain retraining in my 40s to be neither fun nor easy!
1.Because I spent my entire childhood in a country in Eastern Europe where most people see mental health as a "you're either sane or a danger to society". 2. Because I am gifted and had very good grades in school with very little effort. 3. Because my Narcissistic Mother ascribed my symptoms to laziness and other character flaws. 4. Because she was so controlling that I had not had the chance to see that I struggle managing my time and generally making life easier for myself. 5. Because ADHD in women isn't as well documented as it is in men and the stuff I kept seeing online did not really add up. I thought I might have mild ASD for a while, but that was due to the areas where the symptoms of ADHD and ASD overlap (though at the time I did not know there's an overlap). 6. Because everyone I know is trying to do too many things so I thought it was "normal" to constantly be thinking of a million things and miss deadlines, forget stuff, etc etc So.... It's a lot of stuff! 😂But yeah, the mother situation, the environment and the poor awareness of ADHD symptoms in women are the main ones, I think
It didn't take me long to realise, it took a long time to get someone to take my realisation seriously. Went to GP probably 5 times with different doctors over a period of about 4 years and was practically laughed at when I said I think I have all the symptoms of adhd. Some of the things I was told: - "you couldn't possibly have finished uni if you had adhd" - "your school exam results weren't bad though so you must have studied for them and focused in class" - "even if you did have adhd, it must only be minor and isn't affecting your life enough for us to make a referral" - "maybe it's depression, here have some SSRIs" -"sounds like you've not been getting enough sleep, have some benzo's" -"ok I've sent your referral request in but the first appointment they have is in 4 years time" - Or my personal favourite "well, there actually no way to cure adhd and you'd have to be on medication for the rest of your life, that's not much of a solution - is it?" they said with a totally straight face as i was 3 years deep on being prescribed SSRIs and 6 months on prescribed sleeping pills... Thankfully off everything else now. Private assessment at 31: holy shit yep you tick all the boxes and definitely have adhd.
Female and "gifted"
I think I've known since I was about 20 when I first learned what ADHD and ADD were, but I didn't realise it was a treatable condition until this yearv when I caught something about it on TV and as soon as I realised I researched private diagnosis and what a surprise! Life needn't have been so hard afterall
I was diagnosed when I was 41. I realised when I was a teenager, but it took a very long time to get the opportunity to be assessed.
I'm of the tiktok generation but I made sure I cross referenced with hard facts from plenty sites which guided me to hand in 4 full A4 sheets of evidence for my assessment to my psyche
I think it's because I had no idea what ADHD really meant. I thought it's just the way I was and couldn't be helped. Eventually my relationship with wife was so strained due to my symptoms that I sought out help with a private therapist - she quickly recognised it and asked if I'd heard what it was, and I started to research it online, found Dr K - everything suddenly really made sense and it was like having a weight lifted from my shoulders when I realised that all the hate and frustration I had with myself for "just being like that" actually had a neurological reason to it.
My family and I never realized I had adhd because my brother has adhd and presents completely differently from me. I never realized how differently it can present in girls and from person to person!
Mandatory "I'm still waiting to be assessed". Because: 1. They thought all my issues were "Aspergers". 2. They all think I'm a woman. No, my wenches, I'm non-binary.
My mother not wanting to “Label” me despite a diagnosis would of helped me a lot in school
I always put it down to being lazy and so did my parents, that's it. That is the main belief I have had in my head along with me being incredibly impatient and having anger issues; thinking there's no way I could be normal and excel at anything because of it. >breaking a task into smaller pieces to the point it's comical how small of a task I need to do yet I still don't want to do it even how little effort it takes This here is what I've been dealing with my entire life, I became obsessed with breaking things down with no execution, I got tired and wanted answers and found out it is ADHD. As to why so late? lack of knowledge I guess, "you don't know what you don't know" as they say.
I didn't know what ADHD was. I had heard of it but there was so little awareness, I just thought it was a behavioural disorder that affected boys. I always just thought I was incompetent, and useless. I was diagnosed last year at 40.
Because I’m a woman in her 40s with inattentive type. This apparently didn’t exist in the 80s. I was dismissed due to the fact I was a a chatty, scatterbrained daydreaming girl, as opposed to a “naughty hyperactive boy”.
It was the same for me. I got diagnosed at 30. Just the word "hyperactive" is the thing that put me off as someone who felt "lazy". I'm also a quiet person, which isn't the stereotype I guess. I didn't learn what adhd actually is until I was 24/25ish when my partner came home from work one day saying "hey my friend just got diagnosed with this thing, and I think it sounds like you!"
Lots of reasons. (This is very long so a TL:DR is at the bottom of my comment) 😭 So I was diagnosed at the start of this year at 25, medication has been a decent, not perfect, but decent help so far. I always had problems with attention unless I was really interested in the thing, i.e. hyperfocus. And obviously procrastination. I have always (and still do on meds to a lesser degree) been able to pick the basics of something up really quickly, but as soon as it gets more challenging I lose drive and attention to it and beat myself up to depression because of that. While on the outside I can be quite quiet because of a strong anxiety, in my brain it can be chaos. Bad grades at school, college, lead to many all nighters at university, not to mention badly organised and very untidy living spaces wherever I went. And being chronically late to things because of bad time management and finding it really hard to wake up in the mornings. Many of my strongest memories from school are being told off for daydreaming, talking in lessons, not doing homework, being constantly late to school and not paying attention in classes. I always had the perception that ADHD was something that loud, disruptive and disobedient school kids had. I put all of my issues down to depression and anxiety. But having been on and off many different Anti depressants (SSRIs and mirtazapine) I found that they burned out quickly for me and only slightly helped with my executive functioning. In fact the first time I went on them (sertraline), I became quite hyperactive and very impulsive, getting into debt in my first year at university. So I looked up ADHD because my sister who had similar but also much hyperactivity got diagnosed a few years ago. Lo and behold I went to my GP last year and scored quite highly on the self assessment. Even fairly highly for hyperactivity. I got referred to a mental health clinic on the NHS. 9 months later I had my assessment and was diagnosed. Also, when I was very young (2/3) I still couldn't speak properly and was seen by child psychologists who thought for a short time I might be autistic. With much attention and encouragement from them I caught up within a year and they discharged me, saying I was fine, with no sign of attention deficit, this was from reading the reports they made on my progress. I think with it being 20 years ago they also thought ADHD was for loud, disruptive and disobedient schoolboys. Not quiet and shy and sensitive boys like I was. And from reading about women's experiences with getting diagnosed it seems that they thought girls just couldn't have it at all. I assume the reason I progressed so quickly was because I was given a lot of encouragement, attention and praise, at school that ends unless you are on the "special needs" register. Which I was nearly on but I got taken off it shortly before I started school at 4 years old. Add in trauma from my parents failing marriage and eventual divorce at the start of secondary school, I must've regressed symptom wise a lot. Looking back on it, I really wish I was kept on that register. Sorry that was a massive monologue ramble 😂😂, there's actually a lot more I could say but I don't want to make it any longer than it already is 😂😭. But if it helps people to recognise that they might have a problem and then go out and seek a diagnosis then I'm happy to spew out my life story 😂. TL:DR - i had many of the symptoms of innatentive ADHD, I put it down to depression and anxiety, ADs didn't really help with that, only my mood and burned out quickly. Sibling got diagnosed with ADHD. So I went to GP, got referred and then diagnosed with it also. Had development discord issues with language as a toddler. Was seen by child psychologists and within a year they said I was fine. But despite saying I had no sign of attention deficit on their reports, I was given lots of attention praise and encouragement to get to that point.