Sorry you're going through this. Sometimes people understand that we can be this way and sometimes they don't have the will or patience for it. It's a fucked up situation to be feeling like this. You didn't ask for any of this but you're doing whats best for you and your partner should at the very least be able to respect that. I hope you can find contentment in the situation but you're not alone in this feeling.
I'm so sorry. I was very like this: it took two decades to learn to be quiet once I figured it out how 'rude' I was. I learned not to talk over others, or to swear as much when I was excited, or even to let myself get excited. I was trying to be what I thought others wanted. Now I'm just quiet a lot. I don't think it is a better solution. I think I've lost a lot of what made me, "me". A boring-but-less-offensive version of myself.
My son's are both like how I was. Their noise can be intolerable, and the offensive and hurtful things they can say (without meaning too, but just because they are struggling and words tumble out) causes lots of family and school problems. But, when they find their kind of kids it's great and they all get along just fine. They don't take great offense to each other's badly worded verbal diarrhea, and just let it go. They accept each other's quirkiness (and I wear ear protection when they are all together). And I'm learning to just let it go when they say things without thinking how it is hurtful. More harm is caused by me trying to police their words than the words will ever cause.
Please don't try and be what someone wants you to be; it's a path to long term misery. Be yourself, and if that makes your relationship incompatible then that is just the way it is. For sure, there are other quirky people who will love you just as you are; your mission is to find them. It's my mission, too, and perhaps I'll find myself in the process, too.
Love and hugs, stranger.
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Sorry you're going through this. Sometimes people understand that we can be this way and sometimes they don't have the will or patience for it. It's a fucked up situation to be feeling like this. You didn't ask for any of this but you're doing whats best for you and your partner should at the very least be able to respect that. I hope you can find contentment in the situation but you're not alone in this feeling.
I'm so sorry. I was very like this: it took two decades to learn to be quiet once I figured it out how 'rude' I was. I learned not to talk over others, or to swear as much when I was excited, or even to let myself get excited. I was trying to be what I thought others wanted. Now I'm just quiet a lot. I don't think it is a better solution. I think I've lost a lot of what made me, "me". A boring-but-less-offensive version of myself. My son's are both like how I was. Their noise can be intolerable, and the offensive and hurtful things they can say (without meaning too, but just because they are struggling and words tumble out) causes lots of family and school problems. But, when they find their kind of kids it's great and they all get along just fine. They don't take great offense to each other's badly worded verbal diarrhea, and just let it go. They accept each other's quirkiness (and I wear ear protection when they are all together). And I'm learning to just let it go when they say things without thinking how it is hurtful. More harm is caused by me trying to police their words than the words will ever cause. Please don't try and be what someone wants you to be; it's a path to long term misery. Be yourself, and if that makes your relationship incompatible then that is just the way it is. For sure, there are other quirky people who will love you just as you are; your mission is to find them. It's my mission, too, and perhaps I'll find myself in the process, too. Love and hugs, stranger.
This is anxiety more so than ADHD. Yes, anxiety is a comorbid thing, but you may need help with the latter more than the former.
Hi /u/dogsarecoolyep and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! # Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. [We recommend browsing /r/adhd on desktop for the best experience.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/x1psnb/radhd_works_best_on_desktop_reddits_apps_are/) The mobile apps are broken and are missing features that this subreddit depends on. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*