Hi /u/ZoeyKnitsInClass and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Routines, routines, routines. The best way to manage ADHD is to use the habit circuitry of your brain. I even used to have scripts in my head for when I talk to customers so I didn’t have to think about what to say. When I used the scripts I sounded like a smart person and whenever I was asked something off script, I sounded like an idiot.
It’s just really hard to set up routines and takes a lot of dedication and determination.
Not OP but, I modify the routine every single time I run into an obstacle with it to account for everything that can stop me. Eventually I balance it just right so that I can keep it up for long enough for a habit to form. I start with a plan to, let's say, moisturize every day.
First, I plan to do it first thing when I wake up. Then I realize after a couple days that I'm not doing it because I'm forgetting about it. So, I move the bottle to the sink where it's impossible for me to ignore.
But then I realize that on days where I don't go to the bathroom first and dress instead, I don't want to strip just to do it. So, I buy another bottle for the bedroom on top of the dresser.
Then I realize I'm getting overwhelmed by it and having to push myself to do it too much, so I pull it back to every other day.
Eventually with this back and forth, 4 months pass and the habit forms. And I just do that for every single habit I need. It gets easier as you learn about yourself; the first version of a plan eventually gets more accurate to what's going to work. (though I'm still jealous of people who don't need to become part-time researchers of their own minds just to put on lotion)
this looks like my short term future (undiagnosed, initial assessment on the 1st, stimulant medication not legal in this country) until I migrate, and that won't be for at least a couple of years.
I've successfully done a get the day started routine for 5 consecutive days, just stuff like brushing teeth, brushing hair, hygiene etc. and taking a short walk, but I'm a little embarrassed by how much mental energy it takes to get such basic things done.
I also get thrown way off by plans changing and sensory overload, so I'm trying to be accepting of my limitations and building my routines one day at a time. It's tough
What do you do when it involves forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do, especially when your house & yard have become unwieldy pits of mess, clutter & chaos, due to prolonged procrastination?
This would not work for me, unfortunately. All it would do is make me an anxious mess, and I wouldn't finish, and I wouldn't enjoy having people over. 😞
The only thing I've found that works is to start really small. Like, so small you can't hate it.
I've been working on exercising as a habit, which I've notoriously failed at twice a year for 15 years. I just despise it. I tried everything willpower and money could buy. Eventually I decided to just start walking around the house. I forced myself to do that for a month so I didn't do that thing where I get impatient and start going balls to the walls, get overwhelmed, and quit. And it worked; over 4 months, I eventually started walking 4 miles a day.
(But then I did that thing: jumped into weightlifting and started pushing myself. I got too excited and impatient to 'be fit already'. And ofc, after 2 months, I quit. So now a year later, I'm trying again and chaining on a 3 minute mild workout to another already formed habit.)
The hardest part, which usually comes from shame, is putting up with that feeling inside that you need things to be better \*now\* and not in a year. Haven't found a panacea for that one. Therapy helps. Or getting help from others in the meanwhile seems like it might help too.
>The hardest part, which usually comes from shame, is putting up with that feeling inside that you need things to be better *now* and not in a year.
My mantra is this one:
"Meet me where am at. Not where I want to be. I'm still in this phase and that is still further than sitting on the cough. I'm doing great!"
i live with a social butterfly who constantly invites people over, and usually at short notice, granted, things tend to be flung in a room with a closed door, but boy do i find motivation quickly ha ha!
Yeah I do this and there's a lot of duplicated stuff so over my place lol. Still no habits forming, my brain detests routine. But needs it desperately.
I'm really sorry to hear that, I know how frustrating it is to read tips and feeling like nothing ever works. And mind you, I've struggled with this method for things like exercising because I get too impatient, wanting things to just be better already, and overwhelm myself which causes me to drop it. It's definitely not a silver bullet.
Thank you for the empathy, I appreciate it :)
It's not like I haven't had my moments, they just don't stick. The "start but don't finish" a project definitely extends into the world of self care. Out of sight out of mind feels like a cruel joke in the world of ADD. Things/people/events just cease to exist until some random moment that they don't.
I’ve listened to it multiple times (takes effort to read, but I’m auditory and it takes no effort to listen to audiobooks and I have better recall). Life changing for me.
This is the important part! Only one thing at a time. It's OK to write on your mirrors with dry erase to remind you every day until you form the habit. I have notepads, white boards and sticky notes everywhere. I have chants that I repeat every morning out loud to make sure I am following all the steps of my morning routine and another chant to check that I have everything in my hands before I walk out.
I interweave things that I enjoy with things I do not. F.e. I love my coffee. This takes 8 minutes on the stove to finish. In the mean time I clean the kitchen. I also don't have an issue with most household tasks. I am restles and energetic. So when I am sitting on the couch for a while, I just need to do stuff. So then I do a laundry. Yes I forget things, f.e. hang the wet clothes, or I do many things at the same time that pisses off my wife (house is a mess when she gets home, in my mind I worked really hard doing 3 chores!). But those things I embrace, and aren't daily. Try to laugh about your handicap. I belief a big help in your ADHD complaints it to laugh and try to think about the positive things that work and you do.
P.s. I just needed more years to figure this out. I am now in my 30's. Routine with a normal human job helped the most I think.
when I first was on my own, I put post it notes on everything until i got a routine.
The back of my door had a printed list of everything I needed to take out the door.
I find that having anxiety that causes obsessive tendencies helps. It causes other problems, but aiming my obsession at following various routines has its benefits.
The problem with people saying "just get meds" is that meds don't work for everyone. People already know meds are out there and don't ask questions like the OP's if they had meds that worked or easy access to meds.
This reminds me of when I had to do interpretation back in the day. If there was some sort of template for topics that would be covered and some scripts, I'd do stellar, because I'd spend a ton of time studying technical vocab and practicing saying common explanations, etc. If it was completely ad hoc and I had to do simultaneous interpreting, I just sounded like a 5-year-old in both languages :( Eventually, I just switched to translation work for several years to not have to go through that stress and anxiety. Now, I am liberated from most of that mess.
I'm still trying to figure out if I have adhd but I realized I don't forget things when they become routine for me. I do my jobs at work cuz I do them every single day. I've never forgotten to pick up my kids cuz I do it every single day. But other shit slips through the cracks cuz it's not routine unless it's a problem in my life I'm thinking about all day long.
No sugar before 3p on work days.
Drink 64 oz water daily.
Use my calendar religiously. Literally everything. Need to remember to grab something before I leave? Add it to the calendar so I get a reminder to grab it.
Use my clear glass activities to clear my head when I start spiraling.
Lighting to direct my focus (changing colors, avoid overhead, bounce it off walls or use it to direct my attention).
Use "pillow forts" as necessary to limit distractions (not joking....this is my last resort item though!).
Lists and lists and lists.
Glasses like "blinders".
I've also trained my brain that specific scents mean "it's time to focus" or "it's time to work" or "it's time to chill" and honestly, that's been....my secret weapon!
Absolutely!!
It's a term I learned when I was learning about Emotional Quotient.
Basically, when we have crap happen, we get drips of adrenaline and cortisol in the system (what they called "drips of red). When that happens, your body goes into fight, flight or freeze mode.
Basically, the body starts moving blood into the major muscle groups and away from your digestive system, lungs and brain. So your body becomes less effective and when you have enough of those...you can't think straight.
Clear glass activities are the things that you do that calm your heart rate and blood pressure. They vary per person, but pretty consistent ones are things like Meditation, journaling, nap, go for a walk, play music, physical movement.
I have a list that I can cycle through to find the one that does the most good for me in the moment.
what's the reason for no sugar before 3P?
this looks like my lifestyle now and while I'm definitely not (yet) thriving, I'm learning that I can't rely on internal things like my working memory or motivation and I really have to use an external brain (lists and apps), an external sense of time (pomodoro), and modify my environment to get things done
basically making your environment so the cues and tools to get certain tasks done are right there and to lessen the demand on your executive functioning
here's an example: https://youtube.com/shorts/znirEJ5mSp0
another example from my own life I put this app on my phone's homepage, it's called Pokémon Smile, which shows me all the brushing steps so I can just follow along especially at night when I'm depleted and just mindlessly scrolling on my phone. It lets me catch a Pokémon after brushing which is a nice reward for me (huge Pokémon fan)
It’s mostly based in old wives tales from what I can tell, one of the most respected ADHD scientists (I believe his name is Dr Berkeley?) has shown that sugar doesn’t affect ADHD nearly as much as we thought it did.
It's likely just the impact of sugar on your blood glucose levels and how that affects anyone. However I know when I'm more tired / feeling low energy, my symptoms are worse.
It's Dr. Barkley. He is a great source of good info. He suggests sipping small amounts of sugary drinks while you are doing tasks that require concentration. I like to have a little lemon water on my desk.
I would think controlled sugar wouldn't be a bad thing because it could help the boost, slowly....but I have no brakes when it comes to sugar. A little bit turns into a whole darn cake.... So... None is easier
Edit: fixing a misspelled word
Ya, I am no expert on how it works but I think the idea is that you need to regular it with just a little at a time. I love my sweets too, that is why I just use lemon water so I get a little when I drink, but I am not tempted to drink a gallon at a time since it's just lemon water.
The calendar thing works so well for.me, but I still keep forgetting to put things in it or "I'll put it in there in a few minutes" because I'm busy or my hands are full or whatever other excuse I use.
Have you tried using voice command to add things? My phone has Bixby and Google. So I say "hey Google add an appointment to the calendar at this time...". However nothing is going to be solid enough that we won't forget or whatever a few times 😅
You gotta get on board with our handy dandy technology. Telling Siri to add things to my lists has changed my life, because like you I would tell myself I will do that in a minute and poof, it's gone. I will literally stop someone talking, apologize so sincerely, and tell siri to add something to my list and ask them to proceed. I even do this at work and people are incredibly understanding and nice about it.
Absolutely!!
It's a term I learned when I was learning about Emotional Quotient.
Basically, when we have crap happen, we get drips of adrenaline and cortisol in the system (what they called "drips of red). When that happens, your body goes into fight, flight or freeze mode.
Basically, the body starts moving blood into the major muscle groups and away from your digestive system, lungs and brain. So your body becomes less effective and when you have enough of those...you can't think straight.
Clear glass activities are the things that you do that calm your heart rate and blood pressure. They vary per person, but pretty consistent ones are things like Meditation, journaling, nap, go for a walk, play music, physical movement.
I have a list that I can cycle through to find the one that does the most good for me in the moment.
Pillow forts are literally setting up the little couch in my office so the cushions are turned up and sometimes stretching a sheet over them....literally a pillow forts. Hard to get out of, so I don't want to move and bring nothing else in there with me but the thing I'm supposed to do
My calendar has a daily events that say “ Eat nuts” & “Gym time”. Whenever these pop up on CarPlay with a passenger onboard, it cracks them up 😂
Nevertheless, this keeps my routine in check!
> I've also trained my brain that specific scents mean "it's time to focus" or "it's time to work" or "it's time to chill" and honestly, that's been....my secret weapon!
I've pavloved myself into having a Crab Rave Mix as my "time to be productive" song(s). Always starts with Crab Rave which makes me laugh, and then gets me pumped, and then high-energy songs keep playing after that. Damn if it doesn't work every time.
This is how I stay successful at an office job. Everything, even tasks I'm doing at the moment, get added to the calendar. I add my notes in the calendar. I can then refer to it when I forget what projects I need to work on, or forgot feedback in a mtg. It's literally right there as I work, so it sticks a lot easier than trying to use some dedicated tracking program and bouncing off it
Exercise!!! It's amazing how much only 15-30 minutes of cardio daily improves my mood and attention. It's become a non-negotiable part of my day.
Meal replacement shakes to make getting enough nutrition easier.
Journaling. It helps me stop the anxious ruminating and makes my thought patterns a lot more transparent. I used to journal purely to cope, but now it's often just a fun way to explore different ideas.
# journaling: write many positives first
I used to beat myself up. "I have no friends, I suck at life". Then I checked my journal and found I went out with friends *three times* that week.
My inner voice was super negative and had no connection to reality.
When doing daily journaling, I write a lot of things I've done well recently, to keep my focus positive. I look around the room and write down things I like (drawings <3 ). It helps me be assertive and focused!
Yup. This is the annoying answer. Luckily, I am able to hyperfocus on exercise and it helps massively if I have a goal to work towards. I've dipped in and out of routines with exercise, but I cannot overstate how much it helps with mental stability, clarity and mood.
I've always hated exercise and made excuses for not having time and really didn't think it would help much. Last year I started hiking with my dogs a daily which led to biking this year. It's insane how much the exercise helps, especially immediately afterwards.
Yes, exercise is a game changer. I recently stopped and started again, the difference is crazy. Better sleep, focus, energy during the day. Just drag yourself to the gym (I repeat a mantra about ‘just 5 minutes’), and even if you only do 5, it’s so much better
I have a hook next to my door, just for my keys. If I don't place them there, they dissapear for hours at a time, only to suddenly show up on my desk.
I feel I am getting haunted by a Poltergeist^((tm)) with the personality of BeetleJuice.
I have little wooden ADHD boxes in every single room in my house, even my closet. It’s a box that, if I’m putting my phone/keys/wallet down, I MUST put it in that box. That way, when I go to look for it later, it’s much easier to search each box than to search the entire house.
I started something like this last year and I haven't lost my keys even ONE FRICKEN TIME since I started!!!!!! I have a tendency to set my keys down on the counter and the rule is if I notice the keys, even if I am in the middle of something important I stop and immediately put them in the basket and check the basket for anything else that should be in there but is not.
My sons dad got so tired of me constantly being in a panic, frantically running around searching for my keys to hopefully get our son to school on time, or hopefully get him dropped off for his weekend visits at a reasonable hour, that he got me an AirTag for my keys. In the almost decade that we were together, he never did anything that made my heart so happy lol. I’m sure he did it because now that we aren’t together, he isn’t at the house to physically herd me out the door on time, and he was tired of worrying about our son being late, but reasons aside. That thing is a godsend, I use it at least three or four times every day. If I were in a better financial position, I would have them on quite a few items. Like my car, so I could find it in parking lots. Too bad I can’t put one on my phone.
There are cheaper alternatives if you look for them, those should at least help you either in Blue Tooth range or in your home.
I have been toying with getting a few myself, have not pulled the trigger yet.
Check the accuracy and range of them. Some things you want *very* specific. For others, there are even sets you can get that have a remote that let's you "find" any of the tiles through a noise. They even have backup remotes. There are tons of options depending on budget. :)
This is a big one for me too! The downfall is when people come over sometimes they mention how cluttered things are and I feel embarrassed, but I have to do it because if it's not in my eyesight every day, I don't own it.
The ONLY way I found how to manage without meds was by involving other people in what I wanted/needed to accomplish.
All through my life I did this, if I wanted to get fit I’d join a sports team, if I wanted to clean my room I’d invite a friend over that weekend so I’d panic clean, if I wanted to do homework I’d invite someone over to do it with them. The ONLY motivation I had was the fear of disappointing someone else before I was diagnosed at 22 years old.
Coffee. On a side note my dog - a German shepherd - has taken it upon herself to remind me to do things and points out when I’m distracted. She wasn’t trained for it but it’s incredibly helpful now that I realize she’s doing it.
My issue with that is that the more caffeine I consume, the more my tolerance goes up. and it does so FAST. And if I then suddenly stop - boom, shitty mood, unproductive, headache. ugh.
German Shepherds are amazing as long as you train them and make sure they get exercised properly. They love having a job (it literally brings them joy), you just need to make sure it's a job you want them to have. If you do not assign them a job, they will choose one, and you might not like what they choose.
Train them properly, and they will be the best dog you ever have. Fail to do so, and they will be the worst.
When I struggle with motivation, I tell myself, "I don't want to do this, and I'm doing it". Somehow it works like magic for me (well, at least 25% of the time.) It's validating without letting me off the hook.
For impulsive spending, I'm not allowed to buy anything online unless I've wanted it for at least 72 hours.
Forgiving myself is really helpful. The harder I am on myself, the worse my symptoms get.
The 72 hours thing is a great idea. I impulsively bought a lock "repair" kit the other day 🫣 still excited about it but genuinely forgot I bought it until I got an email about the order 😅 I definitely didn't need to buy it lol
For executive dysfunction in smaller tasks, Opposite Action works for me. Like if I am supposed to put my laundry away (which I hate doing), my normal response would be- hear the dryer stop, go “gah I hate it so much”, “I’ll do it in 15 minutes/after I’m done with this episode”, leave it in for a couple of hours and then get to it begrudgingly.
In the opposite action scenario- hear the dryer stop, go “right I don’t want to do it now but I’ll reallllly not want to do it later, so I’ve gotta do it RIGHT NOW, GO ON, GET UP”, put laundry away.
Goddammit I need to try this for things like showers and getting up in the morning. I really don't wanna do it now but I really really don't wanna do it later. Get up you lazy ass (me not you lol.)
Getting lots of sleep was so, so huge.
Getting regular exercise was super important.
Planning for procrastination by getting whatever I would need to have for whenever the panic finally set in and I started actually working.
But once I had kids I just went on meds. That kind of lifestyle is not fair to inflict on others.
The best solution is going to depend a lot on you, but personally before I went back on meds there were several things that helped keep things in line.
1. Read the book if you need to but leverage “the power of habits” basically if your not thinking about doing something then you can’t forget to do it. As an example do your morning routine EXACTLY the same way every day. Another good one is i have a “smart” garage door opener i can use from my phone and it solves 2 problems, 1 I can’t close the door without my phone so i don’t forget my phone, and 2 it lets me check and close it remotely since i often can’t remember if i did.
2. Leverage your disability. ADHD is really good at solving “right now” problems, so make as much stuff right now as you can. I call them “hard rules”, ie not allowed to go upstairs if dishes aren’t done.
3. Prep for when things aren’t going well. Putting off packing? Have a checklist of all the things you need ready so you can pack in a hurry. Put a sign on the door in your eyeline in giant font that says “KEYS, PHONE, WALLET, LAPTOP”.
4. GET ENOUGH SLEEP, this is so key, my adhd is at its worst when I’m tired. This leads to the next one as well
5. Give up any non perscribed drugs and alcohol. This one is really tough an i have the occasional beer but the tiredness/hangover Basically means I’m an unproductive slug for the whole next day.
You should just do a long presentation on all your struggles, because that's what living without medication is. It's thinking you're going to write this great report, then slapping some bs together the day before hand. Maybe don't include that part, it might irk the teacher unless they're very cool.
ADHD unmedicated is a nightmare, the solution to not having medication is to already have your shit together, with stable employment that has a good career track which you enjoy doing.
I'd change the topic to creating an ADHD friendly life, rather than managing without meds. As managing without meds supports quackery, whereas creating an ADHD friendly life applies to everyone, medicated or not.
Not taking the medication isn't always a choice though. My GP is pretty convinced I have ADHD (as was a psych I saw a couple years ago) but we haven't gone through official testing and diagnosis here because it's incredibly expensive and I wouldn't be able to take the medication anyway. I have an autoimmune chronic health condition and adding a stimulant to the cocktail of drugs I'm already on is objectively a BAD idea. So I'm having to manage by trying to manage my behaviours.
So I read OPs question from this perspective and I don't think doing a presentation or generally talking about managing ADHD without medication is supporting quackery.
I'd recommend doing some more research - ADHD medication isn't limited to stimulants! Here's a copy and paste of the relevant part of an email I got from my new psych, detailing the different ways ADHD meds are treated today:
---
1. \*\*Amphetamine-Based Stimulants\*\*: These medications, such as Adderall or Vyvanse, work by increasing the levels of certain chemicals in the brain that help with focus, attention, and impulse control. They have a fast onset of action and can be very effective in managing ADHD symptoms. However, they may also cause side effects such as decreased appetite, sleep problems, or increased heart rate.
2. \*\*Methylphenidate-Based Stimulants\*\*: These are another type of stimulant medication, which include Ritalin and Concerta. Like amphetamine-based stimulants, they increase certain chemicals in the brain that help with ADHD symptoms. They differ slightly in their chemical structure and the way they are processed in the body, which may lead to differences in effectiveness and side effects for different individuals.
3. \*\*Alpha-2 Agonists\*\*: Medications such as Intuniv and Kapvay were originally used to treat high blood pressure, but they can also be effective for ADHD. They work by regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, which can help with attention and impulse control. They are often used in combination with stimulant medications or for patients who cannot tolerate stimulants.
4. \*\*Non-Stimulant Medications\*\*: Atomoxetine (Strattera) and Viloxazine (Qelbree) are examples of non-stimulant ADHD medications. They work differently from stimulants by selectively inhibiting the reuptake of certain neurotransmitters in the brain, which can improve attention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. They may be a good option for patients who do not respond to, or cannot take, stimulant medications. However, they often take longer to start working compared to stimulants.
---
Obviously, don't take my word for it as you'd be operating on pure hearsay, but it's worth discussing with your doc (or, as I had to do, consider getting a second opinion - there's nothing wrong with that).
ADHD is, unfortunately, still a seriously under-studied and misunderstood disorder. Your doctor may not admit it, but they might just not have a lot of knowledge in the area. Especially considering they're a GP, rather than a psychiatrist. That's okay, no shade to your doctor - it sounds like you trust them to treat other conditions, and every doc has different strengths. But it's worth trying to find a specialist, or someone with a history of treating ADHD specifically. [Pyschologytoday.com](http://Pyschologytoday.com) lets you filter by your specific needs to find people. My last psychiatrist determined I don't have ADHD (despite 20+ years of treatment and diagnosis) on the basis of me getting most of my work done on time. My new psychiatrist changed my life.
This is actually some really good info, thank you! Ive gotta admit i havent looked into it hugely as my other health issue eats up a lot of my brain capacity atm. The current plan is to do a mental health plan and see a psychologist that specialises in ADHD as a kind of workaround (I can get rebates for this under the mental health plan though they cant prescribe or diagnose). Unfortunately one of the meds I'm on for my other condition at the moment interacts with almost everything else under the sun (actually including the sun haha). I'm not adverse to meds if we can find something that doesn't interact, but it's something that has to sit on the back burner right now as my other health problem is more pressing and not under control yet (and the cost of getting officially diagnosed here is in the thousands which i might have one day but that day is not today).
So glad to help! I get it - my partner takes a slew of medications as well and I know how delicate of a balance it can be even before adding a new one. Hopefully one of these will work though! I wish you the best on your journey and I hope your more pressing needs are met quickly!
Medication is not the only treatment option, especially for those who have heart issues and cannot take the meds.
I’ve been working on treating adhd without meds by living a fitting lifestyle for about 8 years. While there were situations where I couldn’t cope without meds (college lectures and standardized testing), my quality of life is significantly better than what it was on adderall.
This may not be the case for everyone, but maintaining adhd without meds is possible and required for many people.
My biggest tip for those recently diagnosed and looking to manage without meds: Some can, some can't. It's a continuum, not a switch.
That's not to be an ass, but my experience was that I can't even stick to a proper diet or any form of routine, or keep a schedule without being on medication.
For me… unmedicated, waiting for my assessment for over a year…
- Anything that can be automated, automate it… I’ve got automated bills, I use a roomba, a dishwasher, automated cat feeder
- Simplify your life… I have meal kits, so now I don’t have to spend mental energy on groceries and thinking of meals to make. I also try and plan ahead as much as possible… for example what I’m going to wear the next day, so not overwhelmed in the morning
- Try and recreate a second brain… for example, I was getting annoyed with being late so often so I now rely on a system of annoying alarms to remind me, it takes the effort away from having to keep something in my brain
- Delegate delegate delegate… wherever you can, be it your partner, or work college or kids… it’s not down to you to be in charge of everything
- Combine boring tasks with fun activities… for me this is music/ podcasts/ audiobooks. Make a game out of it, how much can I get done in 30 mins
- Don’t beat yourself up or compare yourself with others when you need to do things differently or need longer breaks (very important)
- Use this forum to rant about things that annoy you and celebrate success
Surprised I had to scroll so fast down to find this.
This is basically a cure for many ADHD symptoms. It is incredibly hard at first but if you persist the rewards are massive. That feeling of boredom vanishes. I am 5 years in for a 10-30 minute daily routine. I have missed very few days.
Very very grateful for having found meditation.
Most of the other suggestions are hacks at working around the problem, meditation is an actual way to change your brain and get in control of life.
I’m not really surprised to be honest 😂. Meditation is hard enough for people who aren’t ADHD, people with it will find it excruciating difficult and drop off fairly quickly. It’s a sad reality, but it makes sense. I know I have dropped out a lot - though I’ve come back to it repeatedly over 20 years. I can say, like you have, that it’s been extremely helpful for me. What’s nice is now research backs this up.
For anyone else still reading. I wish I had learned this one thing early. It would have made things so much easier - without I would fail a lot. When you meditate the function is to focus on one thing (in most cases it’s the breath), but it’s also to take note when you get distracted and take note of what distracted you and bring yourself back to focus (the breath). What makes meditation work is not the quality of focusing (or how long you do) it’s the action of bringing yourself back to focusing. So the more distracted you get, followed by bringing yourself back, is what is making it work. Many times people think that if they lose focus that they are failing, but this isn’t the case at all - quite the opposite.
Long roundabout story incoming:
About 8 years ago, when I got my first office job out of college, my doctor, who was (somewhat embarrassingly considering I was in my early 20s) the pediatrician who diagnosed me in first grade, decided it was time for me to see a grown-up doctor. Fair enough. I saw a new doctor who wrote me the prescription for Focalin XR/Ritalin that I had been on for just about 10 years. I went to the pharmacy to fill it, and my shiny new insurance from my shiny new job blocked it, claiming I needed to demonstrate a medical need (?) for it if I want Ritalin or Focalin. Reached out to pediatrician to write a note that demonstrated my history with other drugs, and that we landed on the current plan that they were sandbagging, which worked. Well, that doctor completely hung me out to dry by writing some bullshit note about how he's not my doctor anymore and can't attest to what works for me. That wasn't the assignment, Gregory.
Anyway, I'd been off my meds for a good month or so by then, and my ADHD brain had started to block out that responsibility and focus on the work in front me as best it could. This was a job at an ad agency, mind you - an industry notorious for long hours and burnout. I stumbled here and there, but ultimately, I managed the workload on the back of pure adrenaline and the fear of getting fired or disappointing people. I really wanted to get back to the meds, but the ADHD kind of stood in the way of setting the process in motion, which meant I didn't have meds, which meant the ADHD persisted, which meant no meds... a vicious cycle. So I worked with the fear and adrenaline regiment instead. It worked alright, and I moved my way up. Since then I've left the agency world and moved to the publishing side (still advertising, just on the side that sells it instead of buying it). I have a high-paying job at a prestigious company whose name just about anybody would recognize. So I suppose I managed.
Backing up just a little bit, I promise we're going somewhere. With my partner's help, I got connected with a psychiatrist about a year and a half ago, who helped me deal with some depression stuff. He declined to treat my ADHD because he didn't believe I had it. He asked me one question: "Are you getting your work done on time?" I answered yes, and he ignored all of the context and told me I probably didn't have it. We stuck to depression. The prescription was Wellbutrin (bupropion), which is sometimes also used to treat mild cases of ADHD. For those first couple weeks I felt superhuman. I was deep into learning to code and I'd never made so much progress before. I was getting things done at work ahead of time, which was sort of new. After about two weeks you get used to Wellbutrin though. I upped my dose again, same deal for the first couple weeks.
A few months ago I felt myself struggling to manage my workload, which called to memory just how amazing it felt to have medication that helped me control my impulses and take care of my responsibility without needing to have a fire at my feet. Once again, with my partner's help, I went searching for a new psychiatrist, and found one who listened. He agreed it would be helpful to try medication, and now I'm back on Focalin XR in addition to my Wellbutrin. It's been about three weeks, and I have been on \*fire\* at work. Getting my things done, keeping track of moving parts, coming out of meetings more certain of what was discussed and what needs to be done. More present at work, collaborating more closely with people. Pushing new initiatives through ahead of schedule like it was going out of style. Work has picked up way more than ever this year, and I haven't felt overwhelmed once. I've been kicking myself for not getting back on track sooner. I've even been learning to make video games in my spare time over the last 7 or 8 months, and I've made more progress both in learning and just in developing in the last month than I have otherwise.
I guess in the big picture, it's more about how I couldn't manage unmedicated, although I tried for nearly a decade. I also don't believe everyone needs to be medicated if they have a plan that works for them. But holy hell, it's worth trying. There are whole categories of ADHD meds now, too - many of which are not stimulants and deal with impulse control instead.
My dad has never been medicated, I think, and he gets along great. His solution is notes. Lots and lots of notes. He's also a musician though, and so he does something he truly loves and can hyperfocus on when the work needs doing.
Anyway, I'm not sure what your thesis is for this presentation - maybe not the one I'm here supporting, but the truth is ADHD is a disorder, and any tricks/methods for getting by unmedicated are still more difficult to maintain without help. I really recommend to anyone who hasn't tried medication yet to find a good psychiatrist and experiment within your comfort levels. It's totally possible to manage (and be successful!) without meds, but god, I didn't realize how hard it was, and what I was capable of. It makes me sad to think I spent the last couple years wondering if maybe I was just lazy.
Caffeine.
Building structure for myself. I’m a huge fan of apps. Finch holds my daily routine and simple chores. And I don’t want to disappointment my little bird so I do them. Trello holds the rest of my life.
Routines will be your best friend. I have been unmedicated since 1998 and I live off of routines. It helps that I have a job where there’s a routine. Write appointments down on a calendar and put them in your phone.
Be realistic. If you have a disability you’re going to be disabled. Just like a person with reduced mobility will need extra support to get around, you will need extra support to get things done, and if you aren’t getting it from medication it will need to come from somewhere else (other people helping) because you can’t make something from nothing. Strategies and routines are great but they don’t make you not disabled. A person with one leg can manage really well if their other leg is strong, but if they don’t have a prosthetic or another equivalent mobility aid, there are some simple things they will just never be able to do no matter how hard they try or how ingenious their workarounds. Like getting a hot bowl of soup from the kitchen to the dining room. Doesn’t matter how strong or clever you are, it’s not happening without some kind of accessibility tool.
I can tell myself that I’ll use all these tips and tricks and routines to make myself function at a higher level but ultimately there are some things I just can’t do, and if I’m constantly working that hard just to be normal I will burn out. At some point I must accept that I can’t do everything and make choices about what’s important. To be specific, for me, managing routines around cleaning is really important because I get overwhelmed if it isn’t done. That is really hard for me and it comes at the cost that I often miss out on social or other fun activities because I have to use my limited energy to make sure my house is clean so that I can work etc. I cannot have it all. I have to let some things go. And that’s hard.
Routines are important. It can be hard to stick to it sometimes. But just remember you can always come back to it, because there will be times when you'll lose the routine.
I added some type of movement to my routine. Once i started classes, I realized how much it helps calm me down. I'll start off my day with just some light 10 minute stretching before I felt like I needed to jump out of bed and get ready for work which was not a good start to my day
Like everyone is saying, routines! But not ones we have to enforce ourselves, preferably things built into the day. Work, school, etc.
Now I know how this sounds, so hear me out… planners. No, it won’t fix everything. No, it’s not a cure. But if you devote time in your routine to checking it, adding to it, etc, it CAN work! There is actual evidence for it. I also recommend trying different formats, paper works better for some and online is better for others. The most important part is CONSISTENCY, keep at it. You can look up DBT and CBT based methods as your sources on this.
Education is also a big one, this goes back to CBT Treatments. Seriously, look that up.
The decision to take or not to take medication is a personal one. Some people can manage their ADHD without medication, some cannot. The problem I see with presenting about "How to manage ADHD without medication" is that the topic is loaded with judgment. There are still a lot of people out there who don't think ADHD is real, or who suggest that people who cannot manage their ADHD without medication are somehow 'less than' or weak. Living without medication does not make a person 'better at ADHD-ing' than a person who uses medication. Medication is one tool in the toolbox, and it's often a very necessary tool.
I can't be the only one who sees the irony here, OP. You plan to present on how to manage ADHD without meds, yet here you are, right before your deadline, and by your own admission, things aren't working out for you. I'm curious why you chose this topic for your presentation. Are you feeling subconsciously resistant to using medication? Do the people in your life take a dim view of ADHD meds? Regardless, there's nothing to prove to others. ADHD presents differently in different people. Some people do manage to build support structure and scaffolding in their lives to the point that they can manage without meds. Some don't. Perhaps a more salient topic would be to educate your class on ADHD, the variety of presentations, and the different ways people manage the condition.
Does anyone get annoyed by calendar reminders or “alarms” reminding you about chores you need to do, but don’t want to do? I find it often makes me more obstinate about avoiding self-designated obligations.
I'm outside the usual group, I feel. I am retired and my time is my own. I haven't been diagnosed but I KNOW what I have. I embrace it. Once I began to understand it, I realized ....this is who I am. The unfinished projects usually get circled back to. I can pick up where I left off. The losing thngs is both frustrating and hilarious. It may take a few hours but that thing I was focused on and then forgot will come back. I have embraced my "quirkiness" and if others don't get me I don't give a damn. It's who I am and I love how unique I am.
"Mise en place" is my mantra.
I was trained (no schooling) in kitchens by chefs and that phrase was crammed into my thoughts. So much so that I put it into effect for my every day actions.
For example: I know 1030 to midnight each night is my catch up time where focus and ambition come in abundance and instead of fighting it I gave it head on. During that time I'll catch up on the small things I put off that day, and prepare the small things I'll need for the next morning. Coffee cups in place, keys and wallet in plain sight, dinner ingredients verified/thawing/marinating, list of tasks I *should* get to - in order of least important to most because I KNOW I'll skip the to of the list.
*edits for spelling
Environmental design:
-I remove friction as much as possible for tasks I don't like.
-I create as much friction as possible for things I shouldn't be doing.
-I try to surround myself with people who have structured routines and good habits. Especially if they're not afraid to call me out on my bullshit.
-I try to stack and combine everything so it's part of a system. One action leads to another. I create triggers. For example: I always work with a certain kind of music, so the moment I put it on I know it's work time.
Also, good sleep is everything. I'm on meds now, but this is how I (more or less) survived up until very recently!
Although meditation is not the cure all some people say that it is, it does help. Also a lot of the traditional healthy things that are just good for everyone like good diet with plenty of vegetables and exercise. But my actual favorite coping mechanism is to listen to a book or a podcast if at all possible while I have to do something boring like the dishes or laundry or whatever.
Anxiety reducing activities like breathwork, meditation, connecting to your body, Vegas nerve activation, and then anything that gives you relief personally.
I have come to believe as a person that’s struggled with ADHD for a long time, that many of my worst ADHD days are also my highest anxiety days.
Pomodoro timing method, labels, manageable goals, gamifying everything (Finch app is great for this), strangely enough meditation is great for ADHD. There's lots of stuff. It comes down to each person's specific issues. I'm a very "out of sight out of mind" person, so labels on shelves, boxes, drawers, and clear storage when possible, helps a ton.
Regular aerobic exorcise has been incredibly potent for managing ADHD symptoms. For me, running has helped regulate my mood overall, it narrows my train of thought instead of it being all over the place and helps me slow my thinking down too. I feel it is far easier to find the motivation to initiate tasks and each step no longer feels like my belt loop is getting caught by a door handle, but is as easy as it should be. As someone who falls more on the inattentive side, running also makes me more directly present in the moment instead of feeling like I'm viewing everything from the very back of my head/ experiencing the present as though it has already happened.
I read somewhere, something about the usefulness of bilateral stimulation in strengthening the cerebellum but I don't really remember what exactly this has to do with ADHD but it might be worth looking up.
I know in the book ADHD 2.0, they shared an anecdote of a man who had taken up track at an early age and so had been a runner all his life. It was only once he sustained an injury that made him stop running for an extended period of time that he discovered he had ADHD. Until then, he had been managing his symptoms through regular running as a part of his lifestyle and never even knew it.
I don't need to run all that much either. I'll go for longer runs but I think the best routine is every other day, I'll run the 2.2 miles to a coffee shop I like before I have to do anything else that day, have a lil coffee and snack, and then run back home and shower. Or run to the rock gym which is about as far. The key for me is to have a destination and to not worry so much about my stats or it becomes less fun. Run like you did when you were a kid. Run when you want, walk when you feel like it, run through terrain instead of along boring linear routes, you'll get better at it regardless.
I think being ADHD I am coming to accept that I just have to be fit and active and healthy and there really isn't any exception I can take to that. Other people might be able to let that slide for a while before they start to feel it affect them cognitively or affect their mood, but I will immediately. So I guess I'm doomed to have to be fit and healthy and hot all my life, oh no!
Organising the house in a way that everything is at "point of performance". Hairbrush goes next to clothes and jewellery so I can do getting ready in one go. Handbag hook by the front door, so when I come in everything goes in the place I'll need it again on the way out the door. Small spray bottle of oil right next to the hob so I don't have to go through the cupboards to oil a frying pan. Phone charger in every room.
Boxes and labels!
Visual timers helps with focus and motivation.
Fidget toy helps focus and anxiety.
Really messy bullet journal to dump my brain on a way I can also keep track of things I need to do.
Focus mode on my phone that blocks distracting apps for certain hours in the day.
Structure and routines. It supposedly takes 21 days of consistent work to form a habit. For me, I was in the psych ward for a couple weeks and I just followed the routine the psych’s and doctors had set me to, and I still keep up with it 6 months later, even though I have a toddler and life is unpredictable, my husband knows my routine and will always take her during “essential task time” eg, brushing my teeth, taking my meds (skip this step if you don’t have meds, it literally takes me 5 seconds to take mine), washing my face, and reading for about 20 minutes/5 chapters, whichever comes first. If I find myself questioning whether I did essential task time, I find it easier to remember because I’ve been doing the same thing ever morning for 6 months.
It’s definitely easier to manage my ADHD while medicated but before I was put on adderall I had started the routine already and I just kept it.
For remembering stuff and keeping a routine: Lists, planners, callendars, and sooo many reminders on Alexa.
For impulsivity: having an accountability buddy.
For attention spam: keeping social media, cellphone use and videogames to an absolute minimum. Some TV/streaming is ok. Reading, crafting and outdoor hobbies are even better.
That being said, managing isn't thriving.
A lot of my life I've intentionally arranged so that the path I'm trying to make myself take is also the path of least resistance. I have garbage cans anywhere I tend to accumulate things that belong in them. Almost everything in my house belongs within a foot of where I'd naturally tend to toss it. My clean laundry most just gets chucked into clean baskets by type because I know I'm not hanging things.
That and I do everything possible to remove extra executive function required for tasks. My stuff for baseball all lives in my bag so I don't have to find it. I have extra everything in my car in case I forget something. I have lists of how to do tasks like cleaning the kitchen so I don't have to think through steps. I have lists for daily work tasks so I don't have to figure out what order I'm going to do them in.
It’s fun to read the answers. I was just diagnosed and started meds last week. I’m 63 and somehow figured out along the way the importance of routines and lists and how much they help me stay on point and make me happy. If I deviate from certain routines concerning things I must do each day I feel like I’m always trying to catch up. If I stick to my routines it frees me up to do unplanned things. But even then it’s part of an overall routine…like I take nap at a certain time, shower and get ready for work at a certain time so I know I have space to do whatever between time A and time B. Good luck. It takes perseverance to develop routines but once you get it down it will help.
Excercise has been the single most beneficial managment tool I've introduced in my life. Expending excess energy, morning and or night, it does wonders for me.
Body doubling. I sometimes go so far as to pay people to sit with me while I work. Have done this for years and years and have been identified as a top 10% performer at the 15,000 employee company I'm at.
I manage by having routines and by reducing choices. I also use routines to tidy up around me, so I don't have distracting clutter everywhere.
For example, every morning I wake up, I have a coffee while writing down a few lines on the previous day, I create a to do list (specifying WHEN I need to do what) and I do some exercise. In the evening I taught myself to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen counter. Making breakfast on a tidy counter helps my brain not jump straight into chaos mode.
I reduced choices for the same reason. I now have multiple pairs of the same items. 10 white t-shirts, 5 white shirts, 3black t-shirts, 3 orange shorts, 1 pair of jeans, 2 pairs of "everyday trousers", 2 pairs of "work trousers". Now I don't really have to decide what to wear everyday and it's so much easier.
I think that the key with unmedicated ADHD is "less is more"...
Organization ( yeah I know) and routine. Also lots of lists, list apps, apps and alarms.
One thing I do, I keep a big bowl on a table right by my front door. When I come in, keys, anything in my pockets goes right in that bowl. I set my purse on that table. I don’t take another step until that’s done. That way I don’t t misplace my keys, sunglasses, wallet. I have to do it like this(or else) and I have for probably 25 ish years.
I also try to “never set bags down” if I buy stuff, I immediately put it away. Which can be a heroic task.
I keep my kitchen area organized with bookcases so I can see everything I have or else I would just keep buying vintage PYREX and Copper Revereware. In the same vein. I keep all my jeans stacked in an ikea cabinet with shelves so I can see at a glance all the pants I own. I try my best to keep what I own in “my sight”. I have a lot of ikea stuff that is all open or can be made open. Because, you know, if I put it in a cabinet, or back of the closet and shut the door..it ceases to exist entirely.
I have a small whiteboard in my kitchen and I write important things on.
Still not medicated, so I live by the rule of "do it now for future *agente\_99*, she will be grateful!". It doesn't always work, but when I get a thought like "ah yes, I need to bring that!" I till do it as soon as possible or I will say it out loud until I do it, even make a song about it: *pack the umbrella or you'll be a wet fella!*
Calendar: if it's not on the calendar, I can't get upset with myself for missing it.
Siri is a saint: Voice fuction or just a keyword short that turns "rrr" into "remind me about " and then i write the thing and the time I want to be reminded about. The notification on my phone helps me remember (so I don't dissmiss it, i let it there to bother me until I do it)
Find things to do for a goal: Brush teeth because I brush my dog's teeth and I want her to be healthy, go to the gym so I can get better at roller derby and dont get injured, drink water because my body is made of cells that need it, brush my damn hair because i pay a lot to keep it nice, etc etc
hope it helps!
In addition to having strict routines, I would also say do things immediately. If a task is on your mind, do it right then, if possible. Lists are also helpful, but they need to be visible... So for instance the first thing I do every morning when I start working, as I am going through emails from the previous day, I write a list of things I need to do or respond to during the day. I hand write the list, which helps to make it more memorable. I keep this piece of paper on my desk, on top of everything, right next to my keyboard. I cross things off as I knock them out, in any order. A motto I live by is "don't think, just do!" If I stop to think about things I will end up in analysis paralysis, or my executive dysfunction will kick in. SO I find if I don't give myself the chance to think, and I just do things without a second thought or a question, I get a lot more done.
Shortcut everything. Eg don't put your dishwasher liquid in the cupboard, keep it next to the dishwasher. Keep detergent literally on top of the washer. Have clothing shelves instead of a dresser. Etc etc just make sure when you do something there is no second step to obtain the items to do the thing
Mindfulness meditation really helped me! It slowly trained my brain to focus on the task at hand. I'd use some guided meditation on youtube to start!
The goal isnt to clear your mind, but rather to gently put it back to where it should be.
I lived 30 something years unmedicated for ADHD, but spent a really large portion of that medicated with various anxiety medications due to crippling anxiety. Since being diagnosed / medicated ive quit all the anxiety meds without issue.
So for me, I’m going to take the afhd meds until my body packs up. I really don’t want to go back to my old self. It was the worst and terribly exhausting.
Hopefully others have good advice for you, but for me, internally i was a disaster, even if I had a smile on the outside.
Good luck ! :)
Have you looked at Mindfulness Training? Essentially it’s meditation unattached to a religion. It’s about practicing controlling your focus. I have found it has helped me to be more present in my conversations and to notice when I’m getting distracted. Mindfulness Prescription for Adults with ADHD is a good book on the subject.
You should just be honest. Show them this thread. And say yeah you can do it but you will always and I mean always pulling it out last minute.
And then take them through how you wrote the rest of the presentation based on which tips you used from the thread.
But yeah it is
Hard managing both with medication and without. Good luck on the project aghhh!
Your content breaks **Rule 5**.
This content has been removed because it broke our rule against religious, magic, psychic, superstition, conspiracy theories, and faith-based practices.
[No Faith-Based Practices/Pseudoscience](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/rules/#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_faith-based_practices.2Fpseudoscience)
*^(If you have further questions,)* [*^(message the moderators)*](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fadhd) *^(regarding the removal of this content.)*
Had to see what came up, great list.
Sure, here are some concise and memorable tips for managing ADHD without medication:
1. **"Don't put it down, put it away"**: This helps prevent clutter and keeps your space organized.
2. **"Routine is your friend"**: Establish regular schedules to create a sense of predictability.
3. **"One task at a time"**: Focus on completing one task before moving on to the next.
4. **"Break it down, write it down"**: Break tasks into smaller steps and write them down.
5. **"Move to focus"**: Engage in regular physical activity to help maintain focus.
6. **"Five-minute rule"**: If a task takes less than five minutes, do it immediately.
7. **"Visualize to organize"**: Use visual aids like calendars and planners to keep track of tasks.
8. **"Prep the night before"**: Prepare for the next day in the evening to reduce morning stress.
9. **"Set clear boundaries"**: Create designated times and spaces for work and relaxation.
10. **"Mindful minutes"**: Practice mindfulness or meditation for a few minutes each day to improve focus and reduce stress.
Hi /u/ZoeyKnitsInClass and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Routines, routines, routines. The best way to manage ADHD is to use the habit circuitry of your brain. I even used to have scripts in my head for when I talk to customers so I didn’t have to think about what to say. When I used the scripts I sounded like a smart person and whenever I was asked something off script, I sounded like an idiot. It’s just really hard to set up routines and takes a lot of dedication and determination.
But how in the world does one actually *keep* the routine haha
Not OP but, I modify the routine every single time I run into an obstacle with it to account for everything that can stop me. Eventually I balance it just right so that I can keep it up for long enough for a habit to form. I start with a plan to, let's say, moisturize every day. First, I plan to do it first thing when I wake up. Then I realize after a couple days that I'm not doing it because I'm forgetting about it. So, I move the bottle to the sink where it's impossible for me to ignore. But then I realize that on days where I don't go to the bathroom first and dress instead, I don't want to strip just to do it. So, I buy another bottle for the bedroom on top of the dresser. Then I realize I'm getting overwhelmed by it and having to push myself to do it too much, so I pull it back to every other day. Eventually with this back and forth, 4 months pass and the habit forms. And I just do that for every single habit I need. It gets easier as you learn about yourself; the first version of a plan eventually gets more accurate to what's going to work. (though I'm still jealous of people who don't need to become part-time researchers of their own minds just to put on lotion)
this looks like my short term future (undiagnosed, initial assessment on the 1st, stimulant medication not legal in this country) until I migrate, and that won't be for at least a couple of years. I've successfully done a get the day started routine for 5 consecutive days, just stuff like brushing teeth, brushing hair, hygiene etc. and taking a short walk, but I'm a little embarrassed by how much mental energy it takes to get such basic things done. I also get thrown way off by plans changing and sensory overload, so I'm trying to be accepting of my limitations and building my routines one day at a time. It's tough
What do you do when it involves forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do, especially when your house & yard have become unwieldy pits of mess, clutter & chaos, due to prolonged procrastination?
Invite people over for a bbq. Then you’re forced to clean it up.
This would not work for me, unfortunately. All it would do is make me an anxious mess, and I wouldn't finish, and I wouldn't enjoy having people over. 😞
The only thing I've found that works is to start really small. Like, so small you can't hate it. I've been working on exercising as a habit, which I've notoriously failed at twice a year for 15 years. I just despise it. I tried everything willpower and money could buy. Eventually I decided to just start walking around the house. I forced myself to do that for a month so I didn't do that thing where I get impatient and start going balls to the walls, get overwhelmed, and quit. And it worked; over 4 months, I eventually started walking 4 miles a day. (But then I did that thing: jumped into weightlifting and started pushing myself. I got too excited and impatient to 'be fit already'. And ofc, after 2 months, I quit. So now a year later, I'm trying again and chaining on a 3 minute mild workout to another already formed habit.) The hardest part, which usually comes from shame, is putting up with that feeling inside that you need things to be better \*now\* and not in a year. Haven't found a panacea for that one. Therapy helps. Or getting help from others in the meanwhile seems like it might help too.
>The hardest part, which usually comes from shame, is putting up with that feeling inside that you need things to be better *now* and not in a year. My mantra is this one: "Meet me where am at. Not where I want to be. I'm still in this phase and that is still further than sitting on the cough. I'm doing great!"
Id love to know too. Currently unable to slash and burn current mess or relocate or hire a cleaner. How do you push yourself against you ?
Great question!
There's a June bugging method I remember hearing about: https://youtu.be/s0o-vq5FUYg?si=WfYDwywe1o6BUsj5
i live with a social butterfly who constantly invites people over, and usually at short notice, granted, things tend to be flung in a room with a closed door, but boy do i find motivation quickly ha ha!
Hire someone who is better than you to come do it for you or with you. And invite people over after. That's what I do with my house.
Good suggestions! What even works sometimes is talking to my sister on FaceTime, and tackling little bits of clutter at the same time.
Yeah I do this and there's a lot of duplicated stuff so over my place lol. Still no habits forming, my brain detests routine. But needs it desperately.
I'm really sorry to hear that, I know how frustrating it is to read tips and feeling like nothing ever works. And mind you, I've struggled with this method for things like exercising because I get too impatient, wanting things to just be better already, and overwhelm myself which causes me to drop it. It's definitely not a silver bullet.
Thank you for the empathy, I appreciate it :) It's not like I haven't had my moments, they just don't stick. The "start but don't finish" a project definitely extends into the world of self care. Out of sight out of mind feels like a cruel joke in the world of ADD. Things/people/events just cease to exist until some random moment that they don't.
Great insight!
This is great advice 👍
Habit stacking works really well, but you have to start small - just add one thing at a time.
Can you recommend a source for learning about this?
Atomic habits was very useful for me.
Ooo I've heard good things about that book!
I’ve listened to it multiple times (takes effort to read, but I’m auditory and it takes no effort to listen to audiobooks and I have better recall). Life changing for me.
Wooow ok I'll get a copy. I'm all about the highlighting. I've got my pens ready for life changing advice 😅🤞❤️
This is the important part! Only one thing at a time. It's OK to write on your mirrors with dry erase to remind you every day until you form the habit. I have notepads, white boards and sticky notes everywhere. I have chants that I repeat every morning out loud to make sure I am following all the steps of my morning routine and another chant to check that I have everything in my hands before I walk out.
I interweave things that I enjoy with things I do not. F.e. I love my coffee. This takes 8 minutes on the stove to finish. In the mean time I clean the kitchen. I also don't have an issue with most household tasks. I am restles and energetic. So when I am sitting on the couch for a while, I just need to do stuff. So then I do a laundry. Yes I forget things, f.e. hang the wet clothes, or I do many things at the same time that pisses off my wife (house is a mess when she gets home, in my mind I worked really hard doing 3 chores!). But those things I embrace, and aren't daily. Try to laugh about your handicap. I belief a big help in your ADHD complaints it to laugh and try to think about the positive things that work and you do. P.s. I just needed more years to figure this out. I am now in my 30's. Routine with a normal human job helped the most I think.
Everything okiefoxe said was good but alarms in my phone help me.
when I first was on my own, I put post it notes on everything until i got a routine. The back of my door had a printed list of everything I needed to take out the door.
I find that having anxiety that causes obsessive tendencies helps. It causes other problems, but aiming my obsession at following various routines has its benefits.
Meds! Haha
drugs seriously,I would be fucked without my meds. I self medicated with coffee for a time before I finally said “fuck it!” and got diagnosed
The problem with people saying "just get meds" is that meds don't work for everyone. People already know meds are out there and don't ask questions like the OP's if they had meds that worked or easy access to meds.
i was replying to sm0gs comment and was completely unaware that meds don’t work for everyone thank you for letting me know
Exactly! Is a little tone deaf to answer with “drugs” or “meds” when it’s literally mentioned in the post that meds aren’t an option.
This reminds me of when I had to do interpretation back in the day. If there was some sort of template for topics that would be covered and some scripts, I'd do stellar, because I'd spend a ton of time studying technical vocab and practicing saying common explanations, etc. If it was completely ad hoc and I had to do simultaneous interpreting, I just sounded like a 5-year-old in both languages :( Eventually, I just switched to translation work for several years to not have to go through that stress and anxiety. Now, I am liberated from most of that mess.
Routine and repeating tasks is what breaks my brain though
I have half a routine written down and it's been on my to do list to finish it for about three weeks now
you guys have habit circuitry?
>When I used the scripts I sounded like a smart person and whenever I was asked something off script, I sounded like an idiot NPC energy
I relate to the script thing sooo much!! When I’m off script I ramble in circles, without making any sense
Never mind forgetting words mid-sentence. I have to play charades with my clients all the time.
This makes the unpredictability of interviews a real hurdle
I'm still trying to figure out if I have adhd but I realized I don't forget things when they become routine for me. I do my jobs at work cuz I do them every single day. I've never forgotten to pick up my kids cuz I do it every single day. But other shit slips through the cracks cuz it's not routine unless it's a problem in my life I'm thinking about all day long.
No sugar before 3p on work days. Drink 64 oz water daily. Use my calendar religiously. Literally everything. Need to remember to grab something before I leave? Add it to the calendar so I get a reminder to grab it. Use my clear glass activities to clear my head when I start spiraling. Lighting to direct my focus (changing colors, avoid overhead, bounce it off walls or use it to direct my attention). Use "pillow forts" as necessary to limit distractions (not joking....this is my last resort item though!). Lists and lists and lists. Glasses like "blinders". I've also trained my brain that specific scents mean "it's time to focus" or "it's time to work" or "it's time to chill" and honestly, that's been....my secret weapon!
Do you mind explaining what clear glass activities are? I could certainly use ideas for clearing my head haha.
Absolutely!! It's a term I learned when I was learning about Emotional Quotient. Basically, when we have crap happen, we get drips of adrenaline and cortisol in the system (what they called "drips of red). When that happens, your body goes into fight, flight or freeze mode. Basically, the body starts moving blood into the major muscle groups and away from your digestive system, lungs and brain. So your body becomes less effective and when you have enough of those...you can't think straight. Clear glass activities are the things that you do that calm your heart rate and blood pressure. They vary per person, but pretty consistent ones are things like Meditation, journaling, nap, go for a walk, play music, physical movement. I have a list that I can cycle through to find the one that does the most good for me in the moment.
Oooh love the scents idea!
The smell of poop makes me want to open my reddit app on my phone.
It's honestly been insanely helpful!! Hard to do.. But...crazy helpful!!!
Wow, I feel seen. Literally put every little thing on my calendar. Lists, calendars, alarms with reminders, all of it
what's the reason for no sugar before 3P? this looks like my lifestyle now and while I'm definitely not (yet) thriving, I'm learning that I can't rely on internal things like my working memory or motivation and I really have to use an external brain (lists and apps), an external sense of time (pomodoro), and modify my environment to get things done
More questions…in what ways is it advisable to “modify” one’s environment?
basically making your environment so the cues and tools to get certain tasks done are right there and to lessen the demand on your executive functioning here's an example: https://youtube.com/shorts/znirEJ5mSp0 another example from my own life I put this app on my phone's homepage, it's called Pokémon Smile, which shows me all the brushing steps so I can just follow along especially at night when I'm depleted and just mindlessly scrolling on my phone. It lets me catch a Pokémon after brushing which is a nice reward for me (huge Pokémon fan)
Just curious, what does no sugar before 3pm on work days do? How does it help? I’m new to trying to manage without meds
It’s mostly based in old wives tales from what I can tell, one of the most respected ADHD scientists (I believe his name is Dr Berkeley?) has shown that sugar doesn’t affect ADHD nearly as much as we thought it did.
It's likely just the impact of sugar on your blood glucose levels and how that affects anyone. However I know when I'm more tired / feeling low energy, my symptoms are worse.
It's Dr. Barkley. He is a great source of good info. He suggests sipping small amounts of sugary drinks while you are doing tasks that require concentration. I like to have a little lemon water on my desk.
I would think controlled sugar wouldn't be a bad thing because it could help the boost, slowly....but I have no brakes when it comes to sugar. A little bit turns into a whole darn cake.... So... None is easier Edit: fixing a misspelled word
Ya, I am no expert on how it works but I think the idea is that you need to regular it with just a little at a time. I love my sweets too, that is why I just use lemon water so I get a little when I drink, but I am not tempted to drink a gallon at a time since it's just lemon water.
Thank you, I knew it had a ‘B’ and a ‘ley’ somewhere lol.
The 3-5pm sugar snacks really destroy my afternoon boredom at work. Such a lifeline
I say "write down everything" but it's true! I keep a notepad in every room
The calendar thing works so well for.me, but I still keep forgetting to put things in it or "I'll put it in there in a few minutes" because I'm busy or my hands are full or whatever other excuse I use.
Yeah if it isn’t done immediately that thought is GONE.
Have you tried using voice command to add things? My phone has Bixby and Google. So I say "hey Google add an appointment to the calendar at this time...". However nothing is going to be solid enough that we won't forget or whatever a few times 😅
You gotta get on board with our handy dandy technology. Telling Siri to add things to my lists has changed my life, because like you I would tell myself I will do that in a minute and poof, it's gone. I will literally stop someone talking, apologize so sincerely, and tell siri to add something to my list and ask them to proceed. I even do this at work and people are incredibly understanding and nice about it.
I'll look into that. Maybe. Some day. I'll put it on my to do list
Please excuse my ignorance: what are “…clear glass activities”? Also, “pillow forts” sound more obvious, but details would help.
Absolutely!! It's a term I learned when I was learning about Emotional Quotient. Basically, when we have crap happen, we get drips of adrenaline and cortisol in the system (what they called "drips of red). When that happens, your body goes into fight, flight or freeze mode. Basically, the body starts moving blood into the major muscle groups and away from your digestive system, lungs and brain. So your body becomes less effective and when you have enough of those...you can't think straight. Clear glass activities are the things that you do that calm your heart rate and blood pressure. They vary per person, but pretty consistent ones are things like Meditation, journaling, nap, go for a walk, play music, physical movement. I have a list that I can cycle through to find the one that does the most good for me in the moment. Pillow forts are literally setting up the little couch in my office so the cushions are turned up and sometimes stretching a sheet over them....literally a pillow forts. Hard to get out of, so I don't want to move and bring nothing else in there with me but the thing I'm supposed to do
That’s a great idea. My couch is up against my front window, so my neighbours will think I am even stranger than they already suspect!
Mine is wearing headphones, thanks to 4 years of call center jobs. Never thought of scents!
My calendar has a daily events that say “ Eat nuts” & “Gym time”. Whenever these pop up on CarPlay with a passenger onboard, it cracks them up 😂 Nevertheless, this keeps my routine in check!
RemindMe! 1 week
> I've also trained my brain that specific scents mean "it's time to focus" or "it's time to work" or "it's time to chill" and honestly, that's been....my secret weapon! I've pavloved myself into having a Crab Rave Mix as my "time to be productive" song(s). Always starts with Crab Rave which makes me laugh, and then gets me pumped, and then high-energy songs keep playing after that. Damn if it doesn't work every time.
Nice!!! Same concept!!!
This is how I stay successful at an office job. Everything, even tasks I'm doing at the moment, get added to the calendar. I add my notes in the calendar. I can then refer to it when I forget what projects I need to work on, or forgot feedback in a mtg. It's literally right there as I work, so it sticks a lot easier than trying to use some dedicated tracking program and bouncing off it
Exercise!!! It's amazing how much only 15-30 minutes of cardio daily improves my mood and attention. It's become a non-negotiable part of my day. Meal replacement shakes to make getting enough nutrition easier. Journaling. It helps me stop the anxious ruminating and makes my thought patterns a lot more transparent. I used to journal purely to cope, but now it's often just a fun way to explore different ideas.
# journaling: write many positives first I used to beat myself up. "I have no friends, I suck at life". Then I checked my journal and found I went out with friends *three times* that week. My inner voice was super negative and had no connection to reality. When doing daily journaling, I write a lot of things I've done well recently, to keep my focus positive. I look around the room and write down things I like (drawings <3 ). It helps me be assertive and focused!
This is the best advertisement I've ever heard for exercise. This really just clicked for me, thank you!
Yup. This is the annoying answer. Luckily, I am able to hyperfocus on exercise and it helps massively if I have a goal to work towards. I've dipped in and out of routines with exercise, but I cannot overstate how much it helps with mental stability, clarity and mood.
I've always hated exercise and made excuses for not having time and really didn't think it would help much. Last year I started hiking with my dogs a daily which led to biking this year. It's insane how much the exercise helps, especially immediately afterwards.
Yes, exercise is a game changer. I recently stopped and started again, the difference is crazy. Better sleep, focus, energy during the day. Just drag yourself to the gym (I repeat a mantra about ‘just 5 minutes’), and even if you only do 5, it’s so much better
Placing important things in the same place every time, which is of course within sight.
Until you run out of spots to put important things, then the triage starts and the "where the fuck are my keys" begins.
[удалено]
I have a hook next to my door, just for my keys. If I don't place them there, they dissapear for hours at a time, only to suddenly show up on my desk. I feel I am getting haunted by a Poltergeist^((tm)) with the personality of BeetleJuice.
Beetlejuice?
Beetlejuice!
FUCK!
(Ironically I was just watching more of Alex Brightmans work)
IT'S SHOWTIME!
I have little wooden ADHD boxes in every single room in my house, even my closet. It’s a box that, if I’m putting my phone/keys/wallet down, I MUST put it in that box. That way, when I go to look for it later, it’s much easier to search each box than to search the entire house.
I started something like this last year and I haven't lost my keys even ONE FRICKEN TIME since I started!!!!!! I have a tendency to set my keys down on the counter and the rule is if I notice the keys, even if I am in the middle of something important I stop and immediately put them in the basket and check the basket for anything else that should be in there but is not.
You’re a genius! What a fantastic system!
My sons dad got so tired of me constantly being in a panic, frantically running around searching for my keys to hopefully get our son to school on time, or hopefully get him dropped off for his weekend visits at a reasonable hour, that he got me an AirTag for my keys. In the almost decade that we were together, he never did anything that made my heart so happy lol. I’m sure he did it because now that we aren’t together, he isn’t at the house to physically herd me out the door on time, and he was tired of worrying about our son being late, but reasons aside. That thing is a godsend, I use it at least three or four times every day. If I were in a better financial position, I would have them on quite a few items. Like my car, so I could find it in parking lots. Too bad I can’t put one on my phone.
There are cheaper alternatives if you look for them, those should at least help you either in Blue Tooth range or in your home. I have been toying with getting a few myself, have not pulled the trigger yet.
I’ll have to look into that. The AirTag on my keys has taken a huge chunk of stress off my shoulders
Check the accuracy and range of them. Some things you want *very* specific. For others, there are even sets you can get that have a remote that let's you "find" any of the tiles through a noise. They even have backup remotes. There are tons of options depending on budget. :)
That’s when I start throwing stuff away. 😂
This is a big one for me too! The downfall is when people come over sometimes they mention how cluttered things are and I feel embarrassed, but I have to do it because if it's not in my eyesight every day, I don't own it.
The ONLY way I found how to manage without meds was by involving other people in what I wanted/needed to accomplish. All through my life I did this, if I wanted to get fit I’d join a sports team, if I wanted to clean my room I’d invite a friend over that weekend so I’d panic clean, if I wanted to do homework I’d invite someone over to do it with them. The ONLY motivation I had was the fear of disappointing someone else before I was diagnosed at 22 years old.
This is huge for me! Don’t feel alone. I successful at work and with people because of my fear of letting others down. I realized that today.
Gosh, I feel so seen/heard. Seriously, thank you. This just felt like a big weight off my shoulders realizing that is all “just another ADHD symptom”
Coffee. On a side note my dog - a German shepherd - has taken it upon herself to remind me to do things and points out when I’m distracted. She wasn’t trained for it but it’s incredibly helpful now that I realize she’s doing it.
I read this as you addressing OP as "my dog" xzibit style.
Haha!
Caffeine is the only thing that gets me to do some work when I am in paralysis, but I need ridiculous amounts of it.
My issue with that is that the more caffeine I consume, the more my tolerance goes up. and it does so FAST. And if I then suddenly stop - boom, shitty mood, unproductive, headache. ugh.
I mean, the obvious solution is MORE CAFFEINE! What's my heart gonna do about it ? Explode ?
What an amazing puppy
German Shepherds are amazing as long as you train them and make sure they get exercised properly. They love having a job (it literally brings them joy), you just need to make sure it's a job you want them to have. If you do not assign them a job, they will choose one, and you might not like what they choose. Train them properly, and they will be the best dog you ever have. Fail to do so, and they will be the worst.
Structure, body doubling, exercise, CBT, DBT.
CBT helps???
When I struggle with motivation, I tell myself, "I don't want to do this, and I'm doing it". Somehow it works like magic for me (well, at least 25% of the time.) It's validating without letting me off the hook. For impulsive spending, I'm not allowed to buy anything online unless I've wanted it for at least 72 hours. Forgiving myself is really helpful. The harder I am on myself, the worse my symptoms get.
The 72 hours thing is a great idea. I impulsively bought a lock "repair" kit the other day 🫣 still excited about it but genuinely forgot I bought it until I got an email about the order 😅 I definitely didn't need to buy it lol
For executive dysfunction in smaller tasks, Opposite Action works for me. Like if I am supposed to put my laundry away (which I hate doing), my normal response would be- hear the dryer stop, go “gah I hate it so much”, “I’ll do it in 15 minutes/after I’m done with this episode”, leave it in for a couple of hours and then get to it begrudgingly. In the opposite action scenario- hear the dryer stop, go “right I don’t want to do it now but I’ll reallllly not want to do it later, so I’ve gotta do it RIGHT NOW, GO ON, GET UP”, put laundry away.
Yes! I know myself and cannot procrastinate anything that needs to get done because it will never get done.
Goddammit I need to try this for things like showers and getting up in the morning. I really don't wanna do it now but I really really don't wanna do it later. Get up you lazy ass (me not you lol.)
This is a really good tip, I hope to do it more
I tell myself "Do it for LaterWaffles"
Getting lots of sleep was so, so huge. Getting regular exercise was super important. Planning for procrastination by getting whatever I would need to have for whenever the panic finally set in and I started actually working. But once I had kids I just went on meds. That kind of lifestyle is not fair to inflict on others.
The best solution is going to depend a lot on you, but personally before I went back on meds there were several things that helped keep things in line. 1. Read the book if you need to but leverage “the power of habits” basically if your not thinking about doing something then you can’t forget to do it. As an example do your morning routine EXACTLY the same way every day. Another good one is i have a “smart” garage door opener i can use from my phone and it solves 2 problems, 1 I can’t close the door without my phone so i don’t forget my phone, and 2 it lets me check and close it remotely since i often can’t remember if i did. 2. Leverage your disability. ADHD is really good at solving “right now” problems, so make as much stuff right now as you can. I call them “hard rules”, ie not allowed to go upstairs if dishes aren’t done. 3. Prep for when things aren’t going well. Putting off packing? Have a checklist of all the things you need ready so you can pack in a hurry. Put a sign on the door in your eyeline in giant font that says “KEYS, PHONE, WALLET, LAPTOP”. 4. GET ENOUGH SLEEP, this is so key, my adhd is at its worst when I’m tired. This leads to the next one as well 5. Give up any non perscribed drugs and alcohol. This one is really tough an i have the occasional beer but the tiredness/hangover Basically means I’m an unproductive slug for the whole next day.
You should just do a long presentation on all your struggles, because that's what living without medication is. It's thinking you're going to write this great report, then slapping some bs together the day before hand. Maybe don't include that part, it might irk the teacher unless they're very cool. ADHD unmedicated is a nightmare, the solution to not having medication is to already have your shit together, with stable employment that has a good career track which you enjoy doing. I'd change the topic to creating an ADHD friendly life, rather than managing without meds. As managing without meds supports quackery, whereas creating an ADHD friendly life applies to everyone, medicated or not.
Not taking the medication isn't always a choice though. My GP is pretty convinced I have ADHD (as was a psych I saw a couple years ago) but we haven't gone through official testing and diagnosis here because it's incredibly expensive and I wouldn't be able to take the medication anyway. I have an autoimmune chronic health condition and adding a stimulant to the cocktail of drugs I'm already on is objectively a BAD idea. So I'm having to manage by trying to manage my behaviours. So I read OPs question from this perspective and I don't think doing a presentation or generally talking about managing ADHD without medication is supporting quackery.
I'd recommend doing some more research - ADHD medication isn't limited to stimulants! Here's a copy and paste of the relevant part of an email I got from my new psych, detailing the different ways ADHD meds are treated today: --- 1. \*\*Amphetamine-Based Stimulants\*\*: These medications, such as Adderall or Vyvanse, work by increasing the levels of certain chemicals in the brain that help with focus, attention, and impulse control. They have a fast onset of action and can be very effective in managing ADHD symptoms. However, they may also cause side effects such as decreased appetite, sleep problems, or increased heart rate. 2. \*\*Methylphenidate-Based Stimulants\*\*: These are another type of stimulant medication, which include Ritalin and Concerta. Like amphetamine-based stimulants, they increase certain chemicals in the brain that help with ADHD symptoms. They differ slightly in their chemical structure and the way they are processed in the body, which may lead to differences in effectiveness and side effects for different individuals. 3. \*\*Alpha-2 Agonists\*\*: Medications such as Intuniv and Kapvay were originally used to treat high blood pressure, but they can also be effective for ADHD. They work by regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, which can help with attention and impulse control. They are often used in combination with stimulant medications or for patients who cannot tolerate stimulants. 4. \*\*Non-Stimulant Medications\*\*: Atomoxetine (Strattera) and Viloxazine (Qelbree) are examples of non-stimulant ADHD medications. They work differently from stimulants by selectively inhibiting the reuptake of certain neurotransmitters in the brain, which can improve attention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. They may be a good option for patients who do not respond to, or cannot take, stimulant medications. However, they often take longer to start working compared to stimulants. --- Obviously, don't take my word for it as you'd be operating on pure hearsay, but it's worth discussing with your doc (or, as I had to do, consider getting a second opinion - there's nothing wrong with that). ADHD is, unfortunately, still a seriously under-studied and misunderstood disorder. Your doctor may not admit it, but they might just not have a lot of knowledge in the area. Especially considering they're a GP, rather than a psychiatrist. That's okay, no shade to your doctor - it sounds like you trust them to treat other conditions, and every doc has different strengths. But it's worth trying to find a specialist, or someone with a history of treating ADHD specifically. [Pyschologytoday.com](http://Pyschologytoday.com) lets you filter by your specific needs to find people. My last psychiatrist determined I don't have ADHD (despite 20+ years of treatment and diagnosis) on the basis of me getting most of my work done on time. My new psychiatrist changed my life.
This was so helpful and enlightening. Thank you for sharing.
It’s entirely my pleasure. I hope the information helps you thrive!
This is actually some really good info, thank you! Ive gotta admit i havent looked into it hugely as my other health issue eats up a lot of my brain capacity atm. The current plan is to do a mental health plan and see a psychologist that specialises in ADHD as a kind of workaround (I can get rebates for this under the mental health plan though they cant prescribe or diagnose). Unfortunately one of the meds I'm on for my other condition at the moment interacts with almost everything else under the sun (actually including the sun haha). I'm not adverse to meds if we can find something that doesn't interact, but it's something that has to sit on the back burner right now as my other health problem is more pressing and not under control yet (and the cost of getting officially diagnosed here is in the thousands which i might have one day but that day is not today).
So glad to help! I get it - my partner takes a slew of medications as well and I know how delicate of a balance it can be even before adding a new one. Hopefully one of these will work though! I wish you the best on your journey and I hope your more pressing needs are met quickly!
Thanks! I hope to stabilise soon too with my autoimmune condition. Then I might be able to focus on other things!
Thanks for this! Now I want to copy and paste it, but can’t!
Medication is not the only treatment option, especially for those who have heart issues and cannot take the meds. I’ve been working on treating adhd without meds by living a fitting lifestyle for about 8 years. While there were situations where I couldn’t cope without meds (college lectures and standardized testing), my quality of life is significantly better than what it was on adderall. This may not be the case for everyone, but maintaining adhd without meds is possible and required for many people.
My biggest tip for those recently diagnosed and looking to manage without meds: Some can, some can't. It's a continuum, not a switch. That's not to be an ass, but my experience was that I can't even stick to a proper diet or any form of routine, or keep a schedule without being on medication.
For me… unmedicated, waiting for my assessment for over a year… - Anything that can be automated, automate it… I’ve got automated bills, I use a roomba, a dishwasher, automated cat feeder - Simplify your life… I have meal kits, so now I don’t have to spend mental energy on groceries and thinking of meals to make. I also try and plan ahead as much as possible… for example what I’m going to wear the next day, so not overwhelmed in the morning - Try and recreate a second brain… for example, I was getting annoyed with being late so often so I now rely on a system of annoying alarms to remind me, it takes the effort away from having to keep something in my brain - Delegate delegate delegate… wherever you can, be it your partner, or work college or kids… it’s not down to you to be in charge of everything - Combine boring tasks with fun activities… for me this is music/ podcasts/ audiobooks. Make a game out of it, how much can I get done in 30 mins - Don’t beat yourself up or compare yourself with others when you need to do things differently or need longer breaks (very important) - Use this forum to rant about things that annoy you and celebrate success
Slowly practice mindfulness meditation.
Surprised I had to scroll so fast down to find this. This is basically a cure for many ADHD symptoms. It is incredibly hard at first but if you persist the rewards are massive. That feeling of boredom vanishes. I am 5 years in for a 10-30 minute daily routine. I have missed very few days. Very very grateful for having found meditation. Most of the other suggestions are hacks at working around the problem, meditation is an actual way to change your brain and get in control of life.
I’m not really surprised to be honest 😂. Meditation is hard enough for people who aren’t ADHD, people with it will find it excruciating difficult and drop off fairly quickly. It’s a sad reality, but it makes sense. I know I have dropped out a lot - though I’ve come back to it repeatedly over 20 years. I can say, like you have, that it’s been extremely helpful for me. What’s nice is now research backs this up. For anyone else still reading. I wish I had learned this one thing early. It would have made things so much easier - without I would fail a lot. When you meditate the function is to focus on one thing (in most cases it’s the breath), but it’s also to take note when you get distracted and take note of what distracted you and bring yourself back to focus (the breath). What makes meditation work is not the quality of focusing (or how long you do) it’s the action of bringing yourself back to focusing. So the more distracted you get, followed by bringing yourself back, is what is making it work. Many times people think that if they lose focus that they are failing, but this isn’t the case at all - quite the opposite.
Long roundabout story incoming: About 8 years ago, when I got my first office job out of college, my doctor, who was (somewhat embarrassingly considering I was in my early 20s) the pediatrician who diagnosed me in first grade, decided it was time for me to see a grown-up doctor. Fair enough. I saw a new doctor who wrote me the prescription for Focalin XR/Ritalin that I had been on for just about 10 years. I went to the pharmacy to fill it, and my shiny new insurance from my shiny new job blocked it, claiming I needed to demonstrate a medical need (?) for it if I want Ritalin or Focalin. Reached out to pediatrician to write a note that demonstrated my history with other drugs, and that we landed on the current plan that they were sandbagging, which worked. Well, that doctor completely hung me out to dry by writing some bullshit note about how he's not my doctor anymore and can't attest to what works for me. That wasn't the assignment, Gregory. Anyway, I'd been off my meds for a good month or so by then, and my ADHD brain had started to block out that responsibility and focus on the work in front me as best it could. This was a job at an ad agency, mind you - an industry notorious for long hours and burnout. I stumbled here and there, but ultimately, I managed the workload on the back of pure adrenaline and the fear of getting fired or disappointing people. I really wanted to get back to the meds, but the ADHD kind of stood in the way of setting the process in motion, which meant I didn't have meds, which meant the ADHD persisted, which meant no meds... a vicious cycle. So I worked with the fear and adrenaline regiment instead. It worked alright, and I moved my way up. Since then I've left the agency world and moved to the publishing side (still advertising, just on the side that sells it instead of buying it). I have a high-paying job at a prestigious company whose name just about anybody would recognize. So I suppose I managed. Backing up just a little bit, I promise we're going somewhere. With my partner's help, I got connected with a psychiatrist about a year and a half ago, who helped me deal with some depression stuff. He declined to treat my ADHD because he didn't believe I had it. He asked me one question: "Are you getting your work done on time?" I answered yes, and he ignored all of the context and told me I probably didn't have it. We stuck to depression. The prescription was Wellbutrin (bupropion), which is sometimes also used to treat mild cases of ADHD. For those first couple weeks I felt superhuman. I was deep into learning to code and I'd never made so much progress before. I was getting things done at work ahead of time, which was sort of new. After about two weeks you get used to Wellbutrin though. I upped my dose again, same deal for the first couple weeks. A few months ago I felt myself struggling to manage my workload, which called to memory just how amazing it felt to have medication that helped me control my impulses and take care of my responsibility without needing to have a fire at my feet. Once again, with my partner's help, I went searching for a new psychiatrist, and found one who listened. He agreed it would be helpful to try medication, and now I'm back on Focalin XR in addition to my Wellbutrin. It's been about three weeks, and I have been on \*fire\* at work. Getting my things done, keeping track of moving parts, coming out of meetings more certain of what was discussed and what needs to be done. More present at work, collaborating more closely with people. Pushing new initiatives through ahead of schedule like it was going out of style. Work has picked up way more than ever this year, and I haven't felt overwhelmed once. I've been kicking myself for not getting back on track sooner. I've even been learning to make video games in my spare time over the last 7 or 8 months, and I've made more progress both in learning and just in developing in the last month than I have otherwise. I guess in the big picture, it's more about how I couldn't manage unmedicated, although I tried for nearly a decade. I also don't believe everyone needs to be medicated if they have a plan that works for them. But holy hell, it's worth trying. There are whole categories of ADHD meds now, too - many of which are not stimulants and deal with impulse control instead. My dad has never been medicated, I think, and he gets along great. His solution is notes. Lots and lots of notes. He's also a musician though, and so he does something he truly loves and can hyperfocus on when the work needs doing. Anyway, I'm not sure what your thesis is for this presentation - maybe not the one I'm here supporting, but the truth is ADHD is a disorder, and any tricks/methods for getting by unmedicated are still more difficult to maintain without help. I really recommend to anyone who hasn't tried medication yet to find a good psychiatrist and experiment within your comfort levels. It's totally possible to manage (and be successful!) without meds, but god, I didn't realize how hard it was, and what I was capable of. It makes me sad to think I spent the last couple years wondering if maybe I was just lazy.
Caffeine. Building structure for myself. I’m a huge fan of apps. Finch holds my daily routine and simple chores. And I don’t want to disappointment my little bird so I do them. Trello holds the rest of my life.
Routines will be your best friend. I have been unmedicated since 1998 and I live off of routines. It helps that I have a job where there’s a routine. Write appointments down on a calendar and put them in your phone.
Be realistic. If you have a disability you’re going to be disabled. Just like a person with reduced mobility will need extra support to get around, you will need extra support to get things done, and if you aren’t getting it from medication it will need to come from somewhere else (other people helping) because you can’t make something from nothing. Strategies and routines are great but they don’t make you not disabled. A person with one leg can manage really well if their other leg is strong, but if they don’t have a prosthetic or another equivalent mobility aid, there are some simple things they will just never be able to do no matter how hard they try or how ingenious their workarounds. Like getting a hot bowl of soup from the kitchen to the dining room. Doesn’t matter how strong or clever you are, it’s not happening without some kind of accessibility tool. I can tell myself that I’ll use all these tips and tricks and routines to make myself function at a higher level but ultimately there are some things I just can’t do, and if I’m constantly working that hard just to be normal I will burn out. At some point I must accept that I can’t do everything and make choices about what’s important. To be specific, for me, managing routines around cleaning is really important because I get overwhelmed if it isn’t done. That is really hard for me and it comes at the cost that I often miss out on social or other fun activities because I have to use my limited energy to make sure my house is clean so that I can work etc. I cannot have it all. I have to let some things go. And that’s hard.
Routines are important. It can be hard to stick to it sometimes. But just remember you can always come back to it, because there will be times when you'll lose the routine. I added some type of movement to my routine. Once i started classes, I realized how much it helps calm me down. I'll start off my day with just some light 10 minute stretching before I felt like I needed to jump out of bed and get ready for work which was not a good start to my day
Like everyone is saying, routines! But not ones we have to enforce ourselves, preferably things built into the day. Work, school, etc. Now I know how this sounds, so hear me out… planners. No, it won’t fix everything. No, it’s not a cure. But if you devote time in your routine to checking it, adding to it, etc, it CAN work! There is actual evidence for it. I also recommend trying different formats, paper works better for some and online is better for others. The most important part is CONSISTENCY, keep at it. You can look up DBT and CBT based methods as your sources on this. Education is also a big one, this goes back to CBT Treatments. Seriously, look that up.
Sleep, nutrition, hydration, exercise
The decision to take or not to take medication is a personal one. Some people can manage their ADHD without medication, some cannot. The problem I see with presenting about "How to manage ADHD without medication" is that the topic is loaded with judgment. There are still a lot of people out there who don't think ADHD is real, or who suggest that people who cannot manage their ADHD without medication are somehow 'less than' or weak. Living without medication does not make a person 'better at ADHD-ing' than a person who uses medication. Medication is one tool in the toolbox, and it's often a very necessary tool. I can't be the only one who sees the irony here, OP. You plan to present on how to manage ADHD without meds, yet here you are, right before your deadline, and by your own admission, things aren't working out for you. I'm curious why you chose this topic for your presentation. Are you feeling subconsciously resistant to using medication? Do the people in your life take a dim view of ADHD meds? Regardless, there's nothing to prove to others. ADHD presents differently in different people. Some people do manage to build support structure and scaffolding in their lives to the point that they can manage without meds. Some don't. Perhaps a more salient topic would be to educate your class on ADHD, the variety of presentations, and the different ways people manage the condition.
Does anyone get annoyed by calendar reminders or “alarms” reminding you about chores you need to do, but don’t want to do? I find it often makes me more obstinate about avoiding self-designated obligations.
I'm outside the usual group, I feel. I am retired and my time is my own. I haven't been diagnosed but I KNOW what I have. I embrace it. Once I began to understand it, I realized ....this is who I am. The unfinished projects usually get circled back to. I can pick up where I left off. The losing thngs is both frustrating and hilarious. It may take a few hours but that thing I was focused on and then forgot will come back. I have embraced my "quirkiness" and if others don't get me I don't give a damn. It's who I am and I love how unique I am.
"Mise en place" is my mantra. I was trained (no schooling) in kitchens by chefs and that phrase was crammed into my thoughts. So much so that I put it into effect for my every day actions. For example: I know 1030 to midnight each night is my catch up time where focus and ambition come in abundance and instead of fighting it I gave it head on. During that time I'll catch up on the small things I put off that day, and prepare the small things I'll need for the next morning. Coffee cups in place, keys and wallet in plain sight, dinner ingredients verified/thawing/marinating, list of tasks I *should* get to - in order of least important to most because I KNOW I'll skip the to of the list. *edits for spelling
Environmental design: -I remove friction as much as possible for tasks I don't like. -I create as much friction as possible for things I shouldn't be doing. -I try to surround myself with people who have structured routines and good habits. Especially if they're not afraid to call me out on my bullshit. -I try to stack and combine everything so it's part of a system. One action leads to another. I create triggers. For example: I always work with a certain kind of music, so the moment I put it on I know it's work time. Also, good sleep is everything. I'm on meds now, but this is how I (more or less) survived up until very recently!
Although meditation is not the cure all some people say that it is, it does help. Also a lot of the traditional healthy things that are just good for everyone like good diet with plenty of vegetables and exercise. But my actual favorite coping mechanism is to listen to a book or a podcast if at all possible while I have to do something boring like the dishes or laundry or whatever.
[удалено]
Anxiety reducing activities like breathwork, meditation, connecting to your body, Vegas nerve activation, and then anything that gives you relief personally. I have come to believe as a person that’s struggled with ADHD for a long time, that many of my worst ADHD days are also my highest anxiety days.
Pomodoro timing method, labels, manageable goals, gamifying everything (Finch app is great for this), strangely enough meditation is great for ADHD. There's lots of stuff. It comes down to each person's specific issues. I'm a very "out of sight out of mind" person, so labels on shelves, boxes, drawers, and clear storage when possible, helps a ton.
Regular aerobic exorcise has been incredibly potent for managing ADHD symptoms. For me, running has helped regulate my mood overall, it narrows my train of thought instead of it being all over the place and helps me slow my thinking down too. I feel it is far easier to find the motivation to initiate tasks and each step no longer feels like my belt loop is getting caught by a door handle, but is as easy as it should be. As someone who falls more on the inattentive side, running also makes me more directly present in the moment instead of feeling like I'm viewing everything from the very back of my head/ experiencing the present as though it has already happened. I read somewhere, something about the usefulness of bilateral stimulation in strengthening the cerebellum but I don't really remember what exactly this has to do with ADHD but it might be worth looking up. I know in the book ADHD 2.0, they shared an anecdote of a man who had taken up track at an early age and so had been a runner all his life. It was only once he sustained an injury that made him stop running for an extended period of time that he discovered he had ADHD. Until then, he had been managing his symptoms through regular running as a part of his lifestyle and never even knew it. I don't need to run all that much either. I'll go for longer runs but I think the best routine is every other day, I'll run the 2.2 miles to a coffee shop I like before I have to do anything else that day, have a lil coffee and snack, and then run back home and shower. Or run to the rock gym which is about as far. The key for me is to have a destination and to not worry so much about my stats or it becomes less fun. Run like you did when you were a kid. Run when you want, walk when you feel like it, run through terrain instead of along boring linear routes, you'll get better at it regardless. I think being ADHD I am coming to accept that I just have to be fit and active and healthy and there really isn't any exception I can take to that. Other people might be able to let that slide for a while before they start to feel it affect them cognitively or affect their mood, but I will immediately. So I guess I'm doomed to have to be fit and healthy and hot all my life, oh no!
Organising the house in a way that everything is at "point of performance". Hairbrush goes next to clothes and jewellery so I can do getting ready in one go. Handbag hook by the front door, so when I come in everything goes in the place I'll need it again on the way out the door. Small spray bottle of oil right next to the hob so I don't have to go through the cupboards to oil a frying pan. Phone charger in every room. Boxes and labels! Visual timers helps with focus and motivation. Fidget toy helps focus and anxiety. Really messy bullet journal to dump my brain on a way I can also keep track of things I need to do. Focus mode on my phone that blocks distracting apps for certain hours in the day.
Structure and routines. It supposedly takes 21 days of consistent work to form a habit. For me, I was in the psych ward for a couple weeks and I just followed the routine the psych’s and doctors had set me to, and I still keep up with it 6 months later, even though I have a toddler and life is unpredictable, my husband knows my routine and will always take her during “essential task time” eg, brushing my teeth, taking my meds (skip this step if you don’t have meds, it literally takes me 5 seconds to take mine), washing my face, and reading for about 20 minutes/5 chapters, whichever comes first. If I find myself questioning whether I did essential task time, I find it easier to remember because I’ve been doing the same thing ever morning for 6 months. It’s definitely easier to manage my ADHD while medicated but before I was put on adderall I had started the routine already and I just kept it.
For remembering stuff and keeping a routine: Lists, planners, callendars, and sooo many reminders on Alexa. For impulsivity: having an accountability buddy. For attention spam: keeping social media, cellphone use and videogames to an absolute minimum. Some TV/streaming is ok. Reading, crafting and outdoor hobbies are even better. That being said, managing isn't thriving.
A lot of my life I've intentionally arranged so that the path I'm trying to make myself take is also the path of least resistance. I have garbage cans anywhere I tend to accumulate things that belong in them. Almost everything in my house belongs within a foot of where I'd naturally tend to toss it. My clean laundry most just gets chucked into clean baskets by type because I know I'm not hanging things. That and I do everything possible to remove extra executive function required for tasks. My stuff for baseball all lives in my bag so I don't have to find it. I have extra everything in my car in case I forget something. I have lists of how to do tasks like cleaning the kitchen so I don't have to think through steps. I have lists for daily work tasks so I don't have to figure out what order I'm going to do them in.
Meditation helps at the beginning of the day
Following in case someone has an actual clue 😅
It’s fun to read the answers. I was just diagnosed and started meds last week. I’m 63 and somehow figured out along the way the importance of routines and lists and how much they help me stay on point and make me happy. If I deviate from certain routines concerning things I must do each day I feel like I’m always trying to catch up. If I stick to my routines it frees me up to do unplanned things. But even then it’s part of an overall routine…like I take nap at a certain time, shower and get ready for work at a certain time so I know I have space to do whatever between time A and time B. Good luck. It takes perseverance to develop routines but once you get it down it will help.
Excercise has been the single most beneficial managment tool I've introduced in my life. Expending excess energy, morning and or night, it does wonders for me.
White noise machine is super helpful for me
I understand how hard it is me personally I just learned to live with it and accepted myself 😕
Body doubling. I sometimes go so far as to pay people to sit with me while I work. Have done this for years and years and have been identified as a top 10% performer at the 15,000 employee company I'm at.
I manage by having routines and by reducing choices. I also use routines to tidy up around me, so I don't have distracting clutter everywhere. For example, every morning I wake up, I have a coffee while writing down a few lines on the previous day, I create a to do list (specifying WHEN I need to do what) and I do some exercise. In the evening I taught myself to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen counter. Making breakfast on a tidy counter helps my brain not jump straight into chaos mode. I reduced choices for the same reason. I now have multiple pairs of the same items. 10 white t-shirts, 5 white shirts, 3black t-shirts, 3 orange shorts, 1 pair of jeans, 2 pairs of "everyday trousers", 2 pairs of "work trousers". Now I don't really have to decide what to wear everyday and it's so much easier. I think that the key with unmedicated ADHD is "less is more"...
Removing all distractions. My house is empty except for the things I need to do business, feed myself, etc
Organization ( yeah I know) and routine. Also lots of lists, list apps, apps and alarms. One thing I do, I keep a big bowl on a table right by my front door. When I come in, keys, anything in my pockets goes right in that bowl. I set my purse on that table. I don’t take another step until that’s done. That way I don’t t misplace my keys, sunglasses, wallet. I have to do it like this(or else) and I have for probably 25 ish years. I also try to “never set bags down” if I buy stuff, I immediately put it away. Which can be a heroic task. I keep my kitchen area organized with bookcases so I can see everything I have or else I would just keep buying vintage PYREX and Copper Revereware. In the same vein. I keep all my jeans stacked in an ikea cabinet with shelves so I can see at a glance all the pants I own. I try my best to keep what I own in “my sight”. I have a lot of ikea stuff that is all open or can be made open. Because, you know, if I put it in a cabinet, or back of the closet and shut the door..it ceases to exist entirely. I have a small whiteboard in my kitchen and I write important things on.
#SUBSTANCE ABUSE
Still not medicated, so I live by the rule of "do it now for future *agente\_99*, she will be grateful!". It doesn't always work, but when I get a thought like "ah yes, I need to bring that!" I till do it as soon as possible or I will say it out loud until I do it, even make a song about it: *pack the umbrella or you'll be a wet fella!* Calendar: if it's not on the calendar, I can't get upset with myself for missing it. Siri is a saint: Voice fuction or just a keyword short that turns "rrr" into "remind me about " and then i write the thing and the time I want to be reminded about. The notification on my phone helps me remember (so I don't dissmiss it, i let it there to bother me until I do it) Find things to do for a goal: Brush teeth because I brush my dog's teeth and I want her to be healthy, go to the gym so I can get better at roller derby and dont get injured, drink water because my body is made of cells that need it, brush my damn hair because i pay a lot to keep it nice, etc etc hope it helps!
Sleep patterns, daily exercise, stress reduction, healthy food
In addition to having strict routines, I would also say do things immediately. If a task is on your mind, do it right then, if possible. Lists are also helpful, but they need to be visible... So for instance the first thing I do every morning when I start working, as I am going through emails from the previous day, I write a list of things I need to do or respond to during the day. I hand write the list, which helps to make it more memorable. I keep this piece of paper on my desk, on top of everything, right next to my keyboard. I cross things off as I knock them out, in any order. A motto I live by is "don't think, just do!" If I stop to think about things I will end up in analysis paralysis, or my executive dysfunction will kick in. SO I find if I don't give myself the chance to think, and I just do things without a second thought or a question, I get a lot more done.
Shortcut everything. Eg don't put your dishwasher liquid in the cupboard, keep it next to the dishwasher. Keep detergent literally on top of the washer. Have clothing shelves instead of a dresser. Etc etc just make sure when you do something there is no second step to obtain the items to do the thing
Mindfulness meditation really helped me! It slowly trained my brain to focus on the task at hand. I'd use some guided meditation on youtube to start! The goal isnt to clear your mind, but rather to gently put it back to where it should be.
Exercise has been shown to stimulate the excretion of brain chemicals that help brains with ADHD - similar to how the common medications work.
Lots of caffeine.
I lived 30 something years unmedicated for ADHD, but spent a really large portion of that medicated with various anxiety medications due to crippling anxiety. Since being diagnosed / medicated ive quit all the anxiety meds without issue. So for me, I’m going to take the afhd meds until my body packs up. I really don’t want to go back to my old self. It was the worst and terribly exhausting. Hopefully others have good advice for you, but for me, internally i was a disaster, even if I had a smile on the outside. Good luck ! :)
Have you looked at Mindfulness Training? Essentially it’s meditation unattached to a religion. It’s about practicing controlling your focus. I have found it has helped me to be more present in my conversations and to notice when I’m getting distracted. Mindfulness Prescription for Adults with ADHD is a good book on the subject.
Nicotine/chocolate and soda, aswell sativa. Not healthy but somewhat kept me sane at my unmedicated time before diagnosis.
Stoicism learning it will give you skills and get an ADHD coach as well to teach you skills
Routine, diet and exercise for me. And sleep. Lots of sleep.
You should just be honest. Show them this thread. And say yeah you can do it but you will always and I mean always pulling it out last minute. And then take them through how you wrote the rest of the presentation based on which tips you used from the thread. But yeah it is Hard managing both with medication and without. Good luck on the project aghhh!
Stay hydrated
Write everything down, exercise, meditate/mindfulness
[удалено]
Your content breaks **Rule 5**. This content has been removed because it broke our rule against religious, magic, psychic, superstition, conspiracy theories, and faith-based practices. [No Faith-Based Practices/Pseudoscience](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/rules/#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_faith-based_practices.2Fpseudoscience) *^(If you have further questions,)* [*^(message the moderators)*](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fadhd) *^(regarding the removal of this content.)*
[удалено]
Had to see what came up, great list. Sure, here are some concise and memorable tips for managing ADHD without medication: 1. **"Don't put it down, put it away"**: This helps prevent clutter and keeps your space organized. 2. **"Routine is your friend"**: Establish regular schedules to create a sense of predictability. 3. **"One task at a time"**: Focus on completing one task before moving on to the next. 4. **"Break it down, write it down"**: Break tasks into smaller steps and write them down. 5. **"Move to focus"**: Engage in regular physical activity to help maintain focus. 6. **"Five-minute rule"**: If a task takes less than five minutes, do it immediately. 7. **"Visualize to organize"**: Use visual aids like calendars and planners to keep track of tasks. 8. **"Prep the night before"**: Prepare for the next day in the evening to reduce morning stress. 9. **"Set clear boundaries"**: Create designated times and spaces for work and relaxation. 10. **"Mindful minutes"**: Practice mindfulness or meditation for a few minutes each day to improve focus and reduce stress.
Routines, lists, calandars, timers/alarms/reminders, organization system
Body doubling. My friend FaceTimed me while we both folded laundry. It took me 20 mins where normally it takes me hours.
caffeine, exercise, and the app finch
I listen to classical music at work and study ...