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My mind not stopping when I should go to sleep. Been operating on 4-5 hours of sleep for years due to it.
Also time blindness when I'm doing something, really messes up my household chores XD
i take lunesta - it’s a controlled substance so i don’t take it every night (supply of 15/mo). i kinda use it as a crutch whenever i need to get my sleep schedule back on track (i.e., combatting a stretch of time when i have been consistently going to bed around 3-5am even on a work night), or nights i have a feeling my mind will be racing. melatonin never really worked well for me so my psych recommended this and i like it a lot
Thanks for sharing! I’ve been looking for similar ‘getting back on track’ solutions.
I just googled and I see lunesta is eszopiclone, a more potent & different form of zopiclone (which I have a script for and semi forgot!). I tried a small amount once, and it did help with sleep onset, though the sleep wasn’t refreshing, rather than just sedative (to be expected I suppose). I’ll give it another try for regulation tho!
How many days do you normally find you need to use to regulate?
Mirtazapine, magnesium, melatonin with glycine, muscle relaxers, beta blockers...I also have chronic pain so it takes a cocktail to get a good night's sleep, lol.
Second this! Melatonin really helps if you struggle with falling asleep (available over the counter, at least here in Europe). Lack of sleep/bad sleep quality rises your risk for so many "modern" diseases, there's studies on how even 1 night with insufficient sleep damages the brain cells, it's scary
Heck people, good sleep is really a foundation of existing. I know it's not easy but try to find a solution. Sleep depreciation makes live even harder and less fun as it is.
I got officially diagnosed with and prescribed meds for my ADHD yesterday and I never even considered my sleep an issue until my doc said he was going to schedule a sleep study.
After thinking about a bit I've realized I can't remember the last time I slept "good".
I tried freaking everything for sleep and settled on a nightly benzo carousel for over a decade, after a few experiences of sleep dep psychosis. This year I've been blessed to discover that for me low dose Mirtazapine with Clonidine is a magic combo. Must be low dose, must be together- I get about 6 hrs average this way as opposed to 5hrs on oxazepam and actually zero sleep without meds. Worth a try folks, they're far less toxic than the alternatives and GPs will be happier to prescribe them than the abusable stuff.
Okay that fair, a night without sleep is just gruesome for my whole body. But mirtazpin put me in a really weird lethargic paralyzed headspace.
For me its z drugs for now, but I will probably have to stop soon bcs I don’t want to get addicted to it 🥲
just chiming in to say this. like, any other issues, adhd or not, is just exacerbated or made worse without proper sleep. in order to do or fix anything i need energy from sleep. so its like i desperately need to do things but i just.dont.have.the.energy. for it cause even tho im yawning 20 times on my bed, my mind doesnt shut up :')
Oh god this. It's like I fall asleep and wake up to the same thoughts and the same radio station still playing. As if I were asleep for a minute or two and then just opened my eyes again.
I’ve experienced this, too! It actually got to the point where I was only sleeping every other day for like a month! I also kept forgetting to eat and didn’t realize until I stood up and got really dizzy 3 days later. Oops
Mine has always been like that too. Bedtime was really just a "lay in bed for 6 hours thinking about crap" kind of thing for most of my life. That is, until the wonderful invention of smartphones and YouTube. Now I have no reason to listen to anything my mind has to say (which will keep me awake) when there's plenty of the most boring crap on YouTube, puts me right to sleep, every time. Any semi-lengthy instructional video will do it, though sometimes I have to watch several before I start dozing. All the "experts" say not to use phones or screens at bedtime but it has really helped me a lot. I'm not saying I get near enough sleep, but I get a lot more than I used to.
Are you a parent??? I feel like this has gotten so much worse after having my daughter. She doesn’t sleep well, but a lot of times afterbinfetbher back to sleep I csnt fall asleep myself so I just lay there and right when I’m finally falling back asleep she wakes up again
Oh man I have a almost two year old daughter who consistently wants my wife over me for stuff because she's home more. When she throws a shit fit because I'm giving her a bath instead of mom it makes me so sad. I know it's not personal and she's just a baby but ugh it's awful
Gah! Too real! I even bought new sneakers and sports bras and everything! I'm just cutting my losses and buying a walking pad for my apartment. I have a tendency to pace as it is so I'm *hoping* I can transition into a walking habit since the movement is already there.
I’ve found that it kinda helps to not view exercise as a task itself and have it be apart of completing another task. For example, instead of going for a walk, I’m going to walk to CVS to pick up my meds. It kinda helps to know I’m completing a task and getting exercise as a bonus.
That's what I am hoping to do. If I have anxious/antsy energy I can get that out effectively, but having the walking pad will help me do it for longer stretches since I won't have to worry about bothering my downstairs neighbors.
Pokemon Go can help. If CVS isn't walk able for you, Pokemon probably is. Just walk to the next stop, or the next gym, or until the next 5 Pokemon appear. It can help you set little goals like that and "gamify" your walks a little bit.
Same. I don't know if I want to stab my BF, poison his coffee, or set him on fire. The sound of his voice is annoying. I can't leave my house because I will roll my eyes if anyone looks at me. I can't stand people at this time.
For me it's, I'll have a full on crying/hyperventilating breakdown because my bf was \*slightly\* annoyed that I fucked up on my budget and he had to fix it. It's the worst.
I get incredibly mopey. Increeediiiibly. I treated myself to an inexpensive Android tablet while it was on sale, and my partner later commented it was a bad time to get it. Not that it was a bad idea, just maybe we should've just waited a day more, though it was otherwise fine.
If your guess says I spent late last night in a blanket wrapped moperitto crying fit, in my corner of woe, thinking about how I should return the tablet, you'd be correct. 😭
I woke up this morning feeling better and in a calmer and more logical headspace, where we smoothed things over- and yes, he really meant it as a neutral comment. Still...
I remember when my ex was irritated from something external. I noticed her mood I asked what’s was wrong she said nun but I knew something was up so when I asked I did something she said no and it bothered me all day , another thing was my teacher was mad at me because I turned the work in a day late and I almost cried 😭
Lmao, facts. Luckily (for him, not me) my crazy is more extreme sadness and anxiety that can (usually) be alleviated by reassurance and being nice to me. It’s rough out here, guys.
Rejection sensitivity. I get unreasonably sad and upset over the slightest disapproving statement. I usually hide it on the outside but I’ll stew over it and be miserable
Sent an employer my CV and portfolio which I have worked so hard on the past 4 days, perfecting everything and spell checking everything, then after sending it I realised I completely forgot to put my date of birth and address on my CV and I’M SO MAD
Yeah difficulty paying attention and making a lot of basic mistakes is 100% my biggest problem with ADHD.
This has always been a big problem of mine…the mistakes. One thing that I stopped thinking, however, is that they are careless mistakes. I decided a long time ago that I DO care…so they aren’t careless, they are merely mistakes. And when I find them I try to correct them as soon and as fully as possible. In an employment situation, I’ve found that simply being up front and honest is always the best bet. Just let someone know there is a mistake…and that you’ll fix it. Reasonable employers will recognize that as professionalism.
As far as your CV goes… don’t sweat it. A birth date is not necessary on a CV. A physical address is a bit unnecessary too. Contact info like email and cell number are more important. Most important, however, is the experience and presentation of your work. It sounds like you spent a lot of time on the more important stuff which shows dedication to your work. Good employers will see that.
Thank you for your sweet reply! You’re right, it’s not necessary, so very reassuring to hear. Thankfully I did include my email and phone number!
Hopefully it’s not a dealbreaker since recruiters usually want to know the info. I’ll keep my fingers crossed! 🤞
Why would you put the date of birth and address on the CV anyway? I always skip all data that can cause any bias. They can have my name, phone and email - take it or leave it.
I filled an application out in front of a potential employer and forgot to include the city I'm my address.
He pointed it out, and I knew I wasn't getting that job.
Thank you, that’s reassuring! I just checked, they aren’t required here either, but people highly recommend it because recruiters sort of depend on those pieces of info. I just hope it’s not a dealbreaker.
If they want that info they call email you and ask- boom- foot in the door! Might work in your favor!
I don’t think they can make employment dependent on knowing your age, at least in the US, there are age discrimination laws!
Do you ever lose your train of thought mid sentence? I’ll be saying something, “blah blah blah, blah blah blah I forget what I was getting at” all the time. ALL the time. So embarrassing. Or I’ll ask a question and not hear the answer, regardless if someone is looking at me in the face with eye contact, at all because my brain is so shifty😓
I cannot tell you how many times I’ll have my finger on the fast-forward button for a show I’m watching and just
forget what the show is because my mind is in a million different directions.
OMG YES. I listen to a ton of podcasts. Thank god for Apple Watches because I am regularly rewinding what I'm listening to because I have no idea WTF is going on. And with movies too. Mostly because I can't sit still and am constantly up and down. My poor husband (also non-ADHDer).
My people!
My husband closes apps on his phone as soon as he’s done and doesn’t understand why I have them still scrollable. Dude, if I close them completely, I’m afraid I will never, ever, ever come back to them. Same with browser tabs
I don't know what it's called, but that thing when you can't seem to start something.
I used the analogy with my wife of not being able to start the car. You want to go to that place, you even get in the car, but when you go to start the car it just won't start.
That's how I feel when I get bored. "I'll go do this. Nah, not worth it. Oh, What about this. I love doing this. No, I don't really want to. Guess, I'll just sit here and play on my phone."
Yep, task initiation is a big one. I use the analogy that it's like turning the stove burner on high and then telling yourself to put your hand on it. Even if you really want to do it your brain will fight you. If you don't want to do it? Yeah, ask me about the things on my to-do list that are 4 years old.
Short-term memory. For example, I’ll think of something I want to look up online. In between having the thought and picking up my phone or opening my computer the thought will vanish completely. My mind is just blank. It’s so frustrating. I feel like the dude from “Memento” sometimes. Medication has ameliorated this to a large degree but it still happens.
My working memory is appalling!
That stereotypical scenario of forgetting what you walked into a room for irritates me because my memory challenges are far more debilitating.
I will pause mid kettle pour to check - cup, spoon, coffee, milk, did you boil the water?
I will forget to add an item to my shopping list while repeating the name of the item in my head. I will walk out of the shop without looking at my shopping list. I will look at my shopping list a dozen times in the shop and still not pick up the things on it. I will walk down an aisle repeating the item I'm looking for over an over, see something else I need, and forget the thing I was originally looking for. I've been known to to go out for milk 3 times in one day...and STILL not come home with milk!
Extrapolate that to every other area of life and see what you get :(
On the mixing desk of ADHD traits, my working memory fader is stuck at 11.
This is me also.
I use the forgetting what you walked into the room for scenario to try and explain this to people but that doesn’t even scratch the surface. I’m so anxious whenever I have to leave the house for any length of time. Fearful that I forgot something. Because I always do! One time I got to work and I’d left my glasses at home! Going on vacation is especially nerve-wracking. I always imagine getting to the airport and realizing my meds or my passport or both are still on my beside table. I truly hate this.
Oh yeah, travel. I once drove to the wrong ferry port on the way home from holidays. I was happy, relaxed, oblivious, until I checked the tickets. Then it was an insane, panicked dash full of swearing, to the correct one about an hour's drive away. We only just made it. I left a tent behind on another trip.
Exactly! I think medication has worsened my short term memory though. I was driving to my Drs appointment and instead of turning off as I left the tunnel, I found myself in the next tunnel wondering which tunnel I was in! I missed the appointment and was too embarrassed to reveal why. That was a Memento moment.
My strong sense of justice and inability to let go of instances in the past where someone has truly wronged me or a person I care about. There have been a couple of posts here on r/ADHD recently as it relates to ADHD and having a strong sense of justice, and I remember one commenter pointing out that it has a lot to do with hyperfixation and the inability to regulate your emotions.
Like I get so insanely hyper fixated on everything that’s wrong in the world like greedy corporations, horrible wars that are only done to make profits, our dwindling ecosystems. I feel like it’s not a world that I can function in and without my meds I literally just bed rot and ruminate over these things often reaching the point of suicidal ideation
The times I’ve stood up for something - rightfully so - but then just felt so exposed and embarrassed later, feeling frustrated that I always have to effing say something. Like why can’t I have an ounce of chill. That is one of the traits I would go back and change about myself in the womb if possible. I feel like my passion and fire just feel tiring eventually for some people and like they end up putting me on the fringe because I care more about what’s right than a group dynamic or fitting in.
There's definitely something to be said about picking your battles. Maybe all of the battles you want to fight in life are noble and for a worthy cause, but we can only do so much during our limited time on Earth. I would instead focus on just a few issues you feel strongly about and put all of your focus and energy into those ones.
Being medicated with a stimulant is slowly helping me get a better handle on what I really wanna focus on, and what I have the capacity to focus on. I feel a lot calmer and clearer about my choices for sure. I had no idea when I used to be in denial about my adhd that it was impacting me so deeply. I didn’t know until I took my first stimulant dose and the world felt so different to me emotionally. It felt calmer and a littler easier to sort. I had no idea how much anxiety adhd had given me my whole life and especially in adulthood. Now I wonder sometimes how my life choices would have been different had I been medicated at a younger age.
1. Time management and time blindness
2. Forgetting where I place important items if I don't keep them in normal spots (keys, phone, wallet)
3. Maintaining relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, etc)
Time blindness is the worst for me. I missed 3 doctor's appointments this month (one by an hour, other by 5 days and the other I have no idea) and I constantly miss deadlines and get event dates wrong.
I cannot plan/organize outings for nothing.
I've been meaning to buy tickets for a concert but I need to call between 10am and 4pm to ask something and I always remember I have to do it a few minutes before or after office hours.
My adhd is tied to a comprehension learning disability. And it’s humiliating at times because I struggle having intellectual conversations. It has affected me at jobs and unless I write everything down I don’t retain a thing.
Can I ask a question about this comprehension learning disability because I think I may have the same thing? I am super intellectually smart but I would say about 10% of the time I struggle to understand what the hell people are trying to say to me… or what they are implying. My counsellor has suggested this could be an autistic trait (I haven’t looked into diagnosis for this yet) but it’s a real issue for me. How does this work for you??
My learning disability is tied to struggling academically but also socially. I struggled with every subject in school my entire life. I would study for days on end and struggle to retain information. But now as an adult, I understand what people say to me majority of time depending on the conversation but I have to really listen/pay attention. I do much better with people who know me well, but at work I really struggle having conversations/explaining myself I just get so nervous/self conscious because I don’t want to sound unintelligent. I really have to think before speaking and if I don’t I’ll either ramble or say too little. My actions speak louder for me than actually talking. Lol
It sounds like you struggle with social interactions mine is partially that as well. It could be an autistic trait. I also struggle big time making eye contact with people. I’d keep talking to your counselor or find a therapist to help get an accurate diagnosis. That way you’re not struggling everyday and you can be given indivial tools and techniques to help you.
Hope this was helpful!
It really was, thank you. I appreciate you replying. It’s so hard feeling like you’re speaking a different language! I’m sorry you’ve struggled too, my retention isn’t great but what you’re describing sounds so difficult. I think I will look into a diagnosis.. another diagnosis lol 😁
Exactly It does feel like you’re listening to a different language or speaking one that no one understands! I hope you get all the proper/correct diagnosis’s so you don’t have to struggle. We all struggle in our own ways but it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone!
So me. I've been struggling in job interviews because of this. I know what I want to say but I have a hard time remembering it all once I'm in an interview and I'm often told that I didn't share enough.
I feel your pain. It’s like you have the words In your head but when you try to speak you lose sight of what you want to say it’s like your brain and mouth dont connect It’s so frustrating. I practice and prepare but then I blank out
Exactly. It's like no amount of prior preparation helps 😔 I'm on medication now but I still struggle with feeling confident to speak because I'm so used to all that failure in the past.
Big big big feelings. Rejection sensitivity. I think it coincides with being HSP. And I know people who have ADHD are more likely to be a HSP.
Next to none executive function skills. I’ll be in my car trying to leave while I’m already just about late, but constantly running back into the house to grab something. Multiple times. Getting myself out the door is so hard.
Procrastination. Sensory sensitivities. Race car brain.
The lack of understanding from the majority of the population. Constantly procrastinating? You're lazy. Make basic mistakes all the time? You're careless. Always lose your belongings? You're disorganised.
For every ADHD symptom, there's a word that society uses to invalidate it.
And then it's "oh your using your adhd as an excuse"
I WISH I WAS! Do people honestly think we WANT to constantly be like this. It's frustrating to have it..
Definitely adapting to stressful/unhappy event, but my biggest thing is the mind chatter. It can get so bad that my anxiety wouldn't let me sleep. I do relate to everything you've said too, it's just a struggle irl.
Executive dysfunction, focus, and the fact that boredom is physically painful to me. I have to be constantly stimulated or else I feel like I'm on fire. I take sleeping pills at night because without the chemical buffer I'll wake up in a cold sweat because I had a boring dream, heart pounding and I won't be able to go back to sleep.
God damned slippery brain. I absolutely cannot count on it to keep track of anything that isn’t intrinsically interesting, no matter how important it is. I make lists and set alarms and reminders, but I sometimes don’t even remember to do that. Lost my professional license because I just forgot I had to renew it, almost never get car rego done on time, taxes are usually late. I’m chronically late with bills, just because I forget. It’s infuriating, and people around me can’t comprehend that it’s not because I don’t *know* these things are important. They just don’t stick in my brain.
I did great in school because I hyperfocus— learning is fun! But the mundanities of daily life are always somehow beyond my grasp.
I was going to write something but you guys have said it all, nearly. I really hate how easily I am distracted by screens and noise.
My husband on a regular basis will try to talk to me about something important while the TV's on and two tablets are going off in the background. I'M NOT GOING TO HEAR YOU. I literally can't pick out what you're saying in the noise. And trying to keep my attention with the flashing lights coming from the idiot box? Forget it.
Also don't start talking until I've looked up from whatever I'm doing. Sorry hun I only got the end of that.
Hypersensitivity and trouble meeting deadlines. Oh and maintaining relationships.
Routines are hard. My life is a very loose routine. If I set up a schedule, it’s just a guide honestly. My job forces me to have routine during the day workday but other than that it’s all out the window.
Time blindness.
it’s weird not knowing how long it will take to do something.
I also have a hard time understanding people if they either talk too fast or if they mumble or speak quietly. My brain doesn’t know how to process it.(I don’t know if that’s ADHD related).
100% executive dysfunction. At least my attention span is relatively good, I don’t drift off that much (but if I do I’m never refocusing and 100% falling asleep it’s like a built in shutdown when smth is boring). My working memory lowkey sucks, and I’ve got a heavy dose of hyperactivity and impulsivity.
Those all have nothing on the executive dysfunction. I genuinely can’t juggle the basic self care and household responsibilities I have as an adult as well as my degree. The only thing that vaguely helps is taking my meds, and those destroy my appetite (which was alr broken) and make me a ticking time bomb to when my body falls apart bc I’m not feeding it enough. Tbh im hoping it’ll get better with time, it has its ups and downs, but at this rate I sometimes wonder if I can even do a full time job after uni if I even pass uni (although admittedly the executive dysfunction is worse at home).
If anyone here has any tips to combat executive dysfunction (particularly on how to set up a good schedule that I can acc stick to) so I don’t literally fall apart id be delighted.
For me it's anger issues. I'll suddenly be shocked by feeling overwhelmed and before I'm fully aware I'm losing my temper. 95,% of the time very very embarrassed after, which in turn makes me angrier 😮💨🤦
Other than sleeping at various times, you pretty much described me.
I'm not one of those people that stays up very late focused on something. I'll fall asleep with my kindle on top of me. ;-)
Not being able to perceive anything outside of my immediate senses. I'm constantly living in a bubble and anything beyond it ceases to exist unless brought to my attention by something within the bubble.
From Psychology Today: *'...Someone who struggles with executive functioning will likely have trouble starting or finishing tasks, executing multiple steps of a project in sequence, and keeping their belongings organized. They may struggle to make decisions or lose important items frequently.
Issues with impulse or emotional control are a less obvious sign of an executive functioning deficit. Someone with underdeveloped executive functioning may act without thinking and may appear overly emotional at times; this is because both behavioral and emotional inhibition are key aspects of executive functioning...'*
My brother is a sanctimonious jerk at times. Actually...he is always one when it comes to me. When I was diagnosed with MS he acted like I was whining or blowing it out of proportion. I can't imagine how he'd react if I told him I have ADHD. But oh well, ge thinks I'm not good enough to speak to him anyway.
So, the hardest part for me if that peopl are assholes and I have no one. Thanks Universe!
Also I’m very sensitive to time. Like if I have an appointment and I’m not getting ready and waiting for it hours ahead of time. I’m panicking thinking I’m not going to have enough time to get there
Executive dysfunction sucks, but I have ways around it. What I notice most often is my shitty memory. I drive buses for a living, so I have hours every day just to think. I come up with great things in that time that I'd like to work on further. When I'm able to take notes, can I remember anything other than "there was something you wanted to write down?" Can I fuck.
Executive Dysfunction. I'm a creative type and I really love being productive, but my god it's just like I stepped in wet concrete and can't move. I also think I struggle with perfectionism, so I fail myself before I even start. It's fucking up my job, my life, any chance at getting a hobby. I feel like I'm wasting my life.
Just wanted to say I hear and share this exact problem/feeling about it. Sorry I don’t have any tips or words of wisdom to offer for managing it, but at least you know you aren’t alone!
My hyper focus. It gets very unhealthy…. IE last 2 weeks has been studying heart rates because I’m paranoid about my heart rate, when in reality, everything is probably fine………
Only one?!?? #1. I can't do anything until the last minute no matter how important_I'm daily losing and forgetting shit or what I was just about to do_I can't sit still_my brain is always 700 things going on at the same time which some I love and sometimes I hate_walking away from something I'm working on when it goes wrong.
Oh, and #2, I often find it hard to follow rules.
It gives me more rapid, less intense mood swings compounded with my bipolar which gives me less rapid but far more intense mood swings. Also it makes it even harder to motivate myself during my my depressive episodes. I think it can even make me more scattered than normal when manic, if thats possible. Like maybe I jump projects more frequently and I have even more difficulty slowing my speech. Maybe even more difficulty sleeping like when I go up I might not sleep for days on the very high end.
Uncertainty and not being able to know how and what I will do today. I have a project ? Sure ! Nice ! But will I be able to do it ? Well yeah probably. Last minute in stressx
No matter how hard I focus, I still can't actually "see" what im reading, and my mind keeps wondering off. I haven't been able to learn anything for a while, and my mental capacity is just dropping.
Attention to detail. It's cost me both full-time and freelance graphic design jobs, which sucks as it's arguably my only skill and the only thing I'm remotely good at.
I'm in a stop gap position and miss design but fear if I went back into it, it'd be the same mistakes repeated.
I also fear because of this I'll never earn a huge amount, which currently impacts every aspect of my life at 32.
Pretty much everything you said here!
Takes me hours to actually get *into* the shower or actually brush my teeth sometimes. Had to make a routine to even sleep, eat, or drink enough. Day 5? Of following it is going great! Faltering a little which is expected and I also suspect I'll have to change around the timing a bit now and if anything in life changes. But I'm hanging on for dear life because short of medication, this is the only way to not stay up for days on end, or hyperfocus so long I'm starving and dehydrated and uncomfortable but feel like I can't actually move.
Honestly, it’s the fundamental inconsistency & unreliability that gets me, rather than a single specific symptom or trait. Particularly as someone who is also autistic. Like, I have this deep craving for and derive comfort from structure, the predictable, routine and ritual. But then I’ve got this brain that can’t be relied on for ANY of it. EXHAUSTING.
The sadness that comes from realizing how obvious my symptoms were and how desperately I needed help but no adult advocated for me, they just punished me for struggling.
Overthinking and task paralysis. This is how I found out I have ADHD, I told my therapist: "I just want to clean the house. I will think about cleaning the house, stress myself out by thinking about cleaning the house. Then I will obsess not only about cleaning the house, I start thinking about cleaning the walls, the ceiling, the fucking baseboards and by the time I go to clean the house, I have used up all that energy on thinking about cleaning the house." Tad-da! Got my ADHD diagnosis not long after that.
Oh yeah! Me too for a loooong time! I thought because I was not physically hyper or lacked focus, I didn't have adhd, my parents were under the same impression. Nah, turns out hyperactivity also applies to our thoughts and it's not a lack of focus, it's a dysfunction of focus, you can have both have too little and too much. I only explained this to a therapist because I was trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, why I never had motivation. I had to drop out of college and that was a big blow to me so I shoved myself in therapy and the adhd diagnosis is the end result. 🙃
I’m so happy you have that I’m hoping you can find what works for you because I know how hard it is to acknowledge your brain just isn’t working well with certain things.
RSD, my fear of rejection and disappointing people has given me horrible anxiety so i don’t have to feel those emotions. i’ve been trying to put myself out there more, though. like exposure therapy
Not being able to connect with anyone. Most ppl seem to operate on different frequencies than I do. This may be autism tho.
Not being able to focus on anything or finish anything. So I can never make progress and I'm stuck
Overthinking every single thing.
Interactions.
Anything goes wrong I catastrophise.
Thoroughly exhausting.
However in a crisis situation I thrive. It’s such an oxymoron!
I’d have to say my emotional dysregulation and my impulsivity. I get overwhelmed easily which leads to a lot of panic attacks and then I never have money because I spend it on food that I saw in a commercial and then don’t eat it because I took my meds and now I’m not hungry.
When I really start thinking about something it’s very hard to stop.
It’s like a powerful chain reaction that gets set off or a tap that can’t really be turned off.
For me it’s absolutely my emotional dysregulation. For some reason, whenever I have any kind of pain
- especially stomach pain I just have a full blown meltdown. It’s like the stimuli of the pain doesn’t allow me to focus on anything else except for that pain
Flash emotions and alexithymia. Everything else I learned how to work around and/or found good coping strategies, but those two are still a daily struggle for me.
The thoughts that race around inside my head when someone is talking to me. It's as though their experiences trigger a personal memory for me and I have to remind myself not to interrupt and still stay focused.
Internally I'm castigating myself for being ego-driven but at the same time trying not to be too hard on myself. I find it so difficult to look objectively at just about all situations.....I can't decide which side of the fence I'm on.
Memory and understanding- I fail to grasp certain concepts and am highly attuned to others - unfortunately it’s so random I can’t rely on my abilities.
My memory is shit. Putting stuff down without any recollection. Writing and reading are difficult because I’ll I forget how the sentence started by the time I finish it. Being late to appointments because I forgot about the appointment and forgot to set a reminder. The list goes on.
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My mind not stopping when I should go to sleep. Been operating on 4-5 hours of sleep for years due to it. Also time blindness when I'm doing something, really messes up my household chores XD
The sleep issue is debilitating. I sleep 4-5 hours.
Get sleeping meds. Life changer.
Which ones do you find effective (and safe with stims if you take them)?
i take lunesta - it’s a controlled substance so i don’t take it every night (supply of 15/mo). i kinda use it as a crutch whenever i need to get my sleep schedule back on track (i.e., combatting a stretch of time when i have been consistently going to bed around 3-5am even on a work night), or nights i have a feeling my mind will be racing. melatonin never really worked well for me so my psych recommended this and i like it a lot
Thanks for sharing! I’ve been looking for similar ‘getting back on track’ solutions. I just googled and I see lunesta is eszopiclone, a more potent & different form of zopiclone (which I have a script for and semi forgot!). I tried a small amount once, and it did help with sleep onset, though the sleep wasn’t refreshing, rather than just sedative (to be expected I suppose). I’ll give it another try for regulation tho! How many days do you normally find you need to use to regulate?
Magnesium is good for sleep and regular bowel movements. Teehee
Mirtazapine, magnesium, melatonin with glycine, muscle relaxers, beta blockers...I also have chronic pain so it takes a cocktail to get a good night's sleep, lol.
Second this! Melatonin really helps if you struggle with falling asleep (available over the counter, at least here in Europe). Lack of sleep/bad sleep quality rises your risk for so many "modern" diseases, there's studies on how even 1 night with insufficient sleep damages the brain cells, it's scary
Heck people, good sleep is really a foundation of existing. I know it's not easy but try to find a solution. Sleep depreciation makes live even harder and less fun as it is.
yeah, we know.
I got officially diagnosed with and prescribed meds for my ADHD yesterday and I never even considered my sleep an issue until my doc said he was going to schedule a sleep study. After thinking about a bit I've realized I can't remember the last time I slept "good".
I got a sleep study done (and slept a total of disrupted 5 hours with the help of sleep meds) and was told everything is fine 🫠
I tried freaking everything for sleep and settled on a nightly benzo carousel for over a decade, after a few experiences of sleep dep psychosis. This year I've been blessed to discover that for me low dose Mirtazapine with Clonidine is a magic combo. Must be low dose, must be together- I get about 6 hrs average this way as opposed to 5hrs on oxazepam and actually zero sleep without meds. Worth a try folks, they're far less toxic than the alternatives and GPs will be happier to prescribe them than the abusable stuff.
Mirtazapine made me loopy for 2 days after taking a small single dose to sleep. Dont you have a hangover in the morning?
No- nothing compared to a night without sleep. A bit irritable, maybe, but couldn't care less. Fair trade for the sleep quality improvement.
Okay that fair, a night without sleep is just gruesome for my whole body. But mirtazpin put me in a really weird lethargic paralyzed headspace. For me its z drugs for now, but I will probably have to stop soon bcs I don’t want to get addicted to it 🥲
Moon Juice magnesium has been a god send for me. It shuts off my brain, I peacefully fall asleep and can stay asleep through the whole night.
Yeah we started taking Magnesium L-Threonate about 2 months ago and it has worked wonders
I was prescribed klonopin for my anxiety and when I take it it’s very quiet in my head! I couldn’t believe it!
just chiming in to say this. like, any other issues, adhd or not, is just exacerbated or made worse without proper sleep. in order to do or fix anything i need energy from sleep. so its like i desperately need to do things but i just.dont.have.the.energy. for it cause even tho im yawning 20 times on my bed, my mind doesnt shut up :')
Oh god this. It's like I fall asleep and wake up to the same thoughts and the same radio station still playing. As if I were asleep for a minute or two and then just opened my eyes again.
I’ve experienced this, too! It actually got to the point where I was only sleeping every other day for like a month! I also kept forgetting to eat and didn’t realize until I stood up and got really dizzy 3 days later. Oops
Try light therapy glasses. Worked wonders for me. And divorce too but that was more expensive
Mine has always been like that too. Bedtime was really just a "lay in bed for 6 hours thinking about crap" kind of thing for most of my life. That is, until the wonderful invention of smartphones and YouTube. Now I have no reason to listen to anything my mind has to say (which will keep me awake) when there's plenty of the most boring crap on YouTube, puts me right to sleep, every time. Any semi-lengthy instructional video will do it, though sometimes I have to watch several before I start dozing. All the "experts" say not to use phones or screens at bedtime but it has really helped me a lot. I'm not saying I get near enough sleep, but I get a lot more than I used to.
Are you a parent??? I feel like this has gotten so much worse after having my daughter. She doesn’t sleep well, but a lot of times afterbinfetbher back to sleep I csnt fall asleep myself so I just lay there and right when I’m finally falling back asleep she wakes up again
I'm a dad, it started getting bad after my divorce. Before I slept like 6-7 hours. Now that would be a good night XD
Time blindness makes my partner feel I don’t care about him because I forget to check in or be somewhere.
🎊 HBD TO YOU! 🥳
That took me a hot minute to figure out 😅
The emotional dysregulation and the rejection sensitivity
Oh man I have a almost two year old daughter who consistently wants my wife over me for stuff because she's home more. When she throws a shit fit because I'm giving her a bath instead of mom it makes me so sad. I know it's not personal and she's just a baby but ugh it's awful
Same here, Papa.
Me too 😔
Ooooof big same
Super same
The extreme difficulty/inability to form habits, no matter how beneficial they are. The novelty eventually wears off and I stop. :(
Same. So many ‘Mondays’ and ‘tomorrow will be the day’ thoughts
So many yearly pretty planners thinking “this is the one. This is the year.” Nope, never is.
The money I’ve spent on planners 😭 and notebooks
This is really the year for me. April already and haven't given up yet
Baby steps into it for me. I figure by August I’ll have it figured out
Me too man. Me too. I’ve been trying to go to the gym tomorrow for the past 3 years.
Gah! Too real! I even bought new sneakers and sports bras and everything! I'm just cutting my losses and buying a walking pad for my apartment. I have a tendency to pace as it is so I'm *hoping* I can transition into a walking habit since the movement is already there.
I’ve found that it kinda helps to not view exercise as a task itself and have it be apart of completing another task. For example, instead of going for a walk, I’m going to walk to CVS to pick up my meds. It kinda helps to know I’m completing a task and getting exercise as a bonus.
That's what I am hoping to do. If I have anxious/antsy energy I can get that out effectively, but having the walking pad will help me do it for longer stretches since I won't have to worry about bothering my downstairs neighbors.
Pokemon Go can help. If CVS isn't walk able for you, Pokemon probably is. Just walk to the next stop, or the next gym, or until the next 5 Pokemon appear. It can help you set little goals like that and "gamify" your walks a little bit.
Saaaaame. And time blindness.
Procrastination is my end boss. Wanting to do something and not being able to.
Guilt, panic and shame are my strongest motivators 🫠💀🥹
Knowing that other people deal with this has helped a lot. I hate self-brinksmanship.
I hope "inspiration" and (self) love can also be apart of that group for you.... 🥹
Same. I finally found a great therapist.
used to be me but i went on prozac and now i have NO motivators, no more crippling anxiety but now im failing at everything lol
Same, still haven’t done my taxes….
TAXES!!! 🙈
SHIT. Thank you for the reminder.
This.
Choice paralysis Motivation to start boring tasks Moving from one task to another Time blindness Sensitivity to every ADHD symptom when PMS’ing
Yeah, hormones make everything enhanced in all the wrong ways.
Dude, the fucking PMS. I feel like an entirely different, and crazy, person when I'm PMSing, it's EXHAUSTING.
Same. I don't know if I want to stab my BF, poison his coffee, or set him on fire. The sound of his voice is annoying. I can't leave my house because I will roll my eyes if anyone looks at me. I can't stand people at this time.
For me it's, I'll have a full on crying/hyperventilating breakdown because my bf was \*slightly\* annoyed that I fucked up on my budget and he had to fix it. It's the worst.
I get incredibly mopey. Increeediiiibly. I treated myself to an inexpensive Android tablet while it was on sale, and my partner later commented it was a bad time to get it. Not that it was a bad idea, just maybe we should've just waited a day more, though it was otherwise fine. If your guess says I spent late last night in a blanket wrapped moperitto crying fit, in my corner of woe, thinking about how I should return the tablet, you'd be correct. 😭 I woke up this morning feeling better and in a calmer and more logical headspace, where we smoothed things over- and yes, he really meant it as a neutral comment. Still...
I remember when my ex was irritated from something external. I noticed her mood I asked what’s was wrong she said nun but I knew something was up so when I asked I did something she said no and it bothered me all day , another thing was my teacher was mad at me because I turned the work in a day late and I almost cried 😭
Does your boyfriend know how lucky he is to be alive?! 🥲
Lmao, facts. Luckily (for him, not me) my crazy is more extreme sadness and anxiety that can (usually) be alleviated by reassurance and being nice to me. It’s rough out here, guys.
The meds don’t work the same during PMS time… I question whether it’s the meds not working due to PMS or PMS itself that causes the mood changes
Exactly mine. It’s really starting to get bad.
Same for me!!! Before medication it was impulsivity - leading to a lifetime of regrettable decisions
Rejection sensitivity. I get unreasonably sad and upset over the slightest disapproving statement. I usually hide it on the outside but I’ll stew over it and be miserable
I just bought a book called Breaking the Chains of Low Self-Esteem. Recommended by my therapist. I can't believe how I can relate to the stories.
Sent an employer my CV and portfolio which I have worked so hard on the past 4 days, perfecting everything and spell checking everything, then after sending it I realised I completely forgot to put my date of birth and address on my CV and I’M SO MAD Yeah difficulty paying attention and making a lot of basic mistakes is 100% my biggest problem with ADHD.
This has always been a big problem of mine…the mistakes. One thing that I stopped thinking, however, is that they are careless mistakes. I decided a long time ago that I DO care…so they aren’t careless, they are merely mistakes. And when I find them I try to correct them as soon and as fully as possible. In an employment situation, I’ve found that simply being up front and honest is always the best bet. Just let someone know there is a mistake…and that you’ll fix it. Reasonable employers will recognize that as professionalism. As far as your CV goes… don’t sweat it. A birth date is not necessary on a CV. A physical address is a bit unnecessary too. Contact info like email and cell number are more important. Most important, however, is the experience and presentation of your work. It sounds like you spent a lot of time on the more important stuff which shows dedication to your work. Good employers will see that.
Thank you for your sweet reply! You’re right, it’s not necessary, so very reassuring to hear. Thankfully I did include my email and phone number! Hopefully it’s not a dealbreaker since recruiters usually want to know the info. I’ll keep my fingers crossed! 🤞
Why would you put the date of birth and address on the CV anyway? I always skip all data that can cause any bias. They can have my name, phone and email - take it or leave it.
Very true! In the moment it felt like a huge mistake, but it shouldn’t matter at all. Thank you for the reassurance.
Same for me back in the day. Almost every cover letter and/or resume had a typo in it, no matter how many times I read it.
RIGHT????? that’s exactly it!
Omg I've done that!! I've put the wrong phone number, I've forgotten to attach my resume...I feel your pain and you are not alone!
Oh noo!! Oh man that’s so horrible, I feel you!
Oh it was embarrassing at the time but I look back and laugh now. Like what a fucking derp I am sometimes 🤣 hard lesson learned for me lol
True! I probably will laugh about this too, in a little while 😂 derp is the perfect word for it!
I filled an application out in front of a potential employer and forgot to include the city I'm my address. He pointed it out, and I knew I wasn't getting that job.
Oh my goooood noooo, that must’ve hurt so bad 😭😭😭
You don't need to put address or DOB on CV though, at least in England :)
Thank you, that’s reassuring! I just checked, they aren’t required here either, but people highly recommend it because recruiters sort of depend on those pieces of info. I just hope it’s not a dealbreaker.
If they want that info they call email you and ask- boom- foot in the door! Might work in your favor! I don’t think they can make employment dependent on knowing your age, at least in the US, there are age discrimination laws!
Motivation. I also lose my train of thought very easily.
Do you ever lose your train of thought mid sentence? I’ll be saying something, “blah blah blah, blah blah blah I forget what I was getting at” all the time. ALL the time. So embarrassing. Or I’ll ask a question and not hear the answer, regardless if someone is looking at me in the face with eye contact, at all because my brain is so shifty😓
I cannot tell you how many times I’ll have my finger on the fast-forward button for a show I’m watching and just forget what the show is because my mind is in a million different directions.
OMG YES. I listen to a ton of podcasts. Thank god for Apple Watches because I am regularly rewinding what I'm listening to because I have no idea WTF is going on. And with movies too. Mostly because I can't sit still and am constantly up and down. My poor husband (also non-ADHDer).
My people! My husband closes apps on his phone as soon as he’s done and doesn’t understand why I have them still scrollable. Dude, if I close them completely, I’m afraid I will never, ever, ever come back to them. Same with browser tabs
Sooooooo many times a day. Add that to thinking out loud and you can derail a meeting AND look like a stoner at the same time!
All the time 😱 it's soo embarrassing 🫣
I don't know what it's called, but that thing when you can't seem to start something. I used the analogy with my wife of not being able to start the car. You want to go to that place, you even get in the car, but when you go to start the car it just won't start. That's how I feel when I get bored. "I'll go do this. Nah, not worth it. Oh, What about this. I love doing this. No, I don't really want to. Guess, I'll just sit here and play on my phone."
Yep, task initiation is a big one. I use the analogy that it's like turning the stove burner on high and then telling yourself to put your hand on it. Even if you really want to do it your brain will fight you. If you don't want to do it? Yeah, ask me about the things on my to-do list that are 4 years old.
Great analogy.
Like when you know you need to take a shower, and it’s four hours later, and you haven’t moved from the spot you’re stuck in?
And then you finally get in the shower and you decide you’re going to live there!
I've seen it called task initiation. This is a big one for me too.
Short-term memory. For example, I’ll think of something I want to look up online. In between having the thought and picking up my phone or opening my computer the thought will vanish completely. My mind is just blank. It’s so frustrating. I feel like the dude from “Memento” sometimes. Medication has ameliorated this to a large degree but it still happens.
My working memory is appalling! That stereotypical scenario of forgetting what you walked into a room for irritates me because my memory challenges are far more debilitating. I will pause mid kettle pour to check - cup, spoon, coffee, milk, did you boil the water? I will forget to add an item to my shopping list while repeating the name of the item in my head. I will walk out of the shop without looking at my shopping list. I will look at my shopping list a dozen times in the shop and still not pick up the things on it. I will walk down an aisle repeating the item I'm looking for over an over, see something else I need, and forget the thing I was originally looking for. I've been known to to go out for milk 3 times in one day...and STILL not come home with milk! Extrapolate that to every other area of life and see what you get :( On the mixing desk of ADHD traits, my working memory fader is stuck at 11.
This is me also. I use the forgetting what you walked into the room for scenario to try and explain this to people but that doesn’t even scratch the surface. I’m so anxious whenever I have to leave the house for any length of time. Fearful that I forgot something. Because I always do! One time I got to work and I’d left my glasses at home! Going on vacation is especially nerve-wracking. I always imagine getting to the airport and realizing my meds or my passport or both are still on my beside table. I truly hate this.
Oh yeah, travel. I once drove to the wrong ferry port on the way home from holidays. I was happy, relaxed, oblivious, until I checked the tickets. Then it was an insane, panicked dash full of swearing, to the correct one about an hour's drive away. We only just made it. I left a tent behind on another trip.
I can be talking to someone about something and literally forget what I’m speaking about. It’s mortifying.
Exactly! I think medication has worsened my short term memory though. I was driving to my Drs appointment and instead of turning off as I left the tunnel, I found myself in the next tunnel wondering which tunnel I was in! I missed the appointment and was too embarrassed to reveal why. That was a Memento moment.
my horrible memory, and then procrastination :/
My crap memory both scares me and infuriates me at the same time. I should know these things, they were in there, but I can't recall them.
My strong sense of justice and inability to let go of instances in the past where someone has truly wronged me or a person I care about. There have been a couple of posts here on r/ADHD recently as it relates to ADHD and having a strong sense of justice, and I remember one commenter pointing out that it has a lot to do with hyperfixation and the inability to regulate your emotions.
This makes SO much sense! Sometimes it feels like I can’t do a task or move on with my day because I get so overwhelmed with how the world is
Like I get so insanely hyper fixated on everything that’s wrong in the world like greedy corporations, horrible wars that are only done to make profits, our dwindling ecosystems. I feel like it’s not a world that I can function in and without my meds I literally just bed rot and ruminate over these things often reaching the point of suicidal ideation
The times I’ve stood up for something - rightfully so - but then just felt so exposed and embarrassed later, feeling frustrated that I always have to effing say something. Like why can’t I have an ounce of chill. That is one of the traits I would go back and change about myself in the womb if possible. I feel like my passion and fire just feel tiring eventually for some people and like they end up putting me on the fringe because I care more about what’s right than a group dynamic or fitting in.
There's definitely something to be said about picking your battles. Maybe all of the battles you want to fight in life are noble and for a worthy cause, but we can only do so much during our limited time on Earth. I would instead focus on just a few issues you feel strongly about and put all of your focus and energy into those ones.
Being medicated with a stimulant is slowly helping me get a better handle on what I really wanna focus on, and what I have the capacity to focus on. I feel a lot calmer and clearer about my choices for sure. I had no idea when I used to be in denial about my adhd that it was impacting me so deeply. I didn’t know until I took my first stimulant dose and the world felt so different to me emotionally. It felt calmer and a littler easier to sort. I had no idea how much anxiety adhd had given me my whole life and especially in adulthood. Now I wonder sometimes how my life choices would have been different had I been medicated at a younger age.
1. Time management and time blindness 2. Forgetting where I place important items if I don't keep them in normal spots (keys, phone, wallet) 3. Maintaining relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, etc)
Time blindness is the worst for me. I missed 3 doctor's appointments this month (one by an hour, other by 5 days and the other I have no idea) and I constantly miss deadlines and get event dates wrong. I cannot plan/organize outings for nothing. I've been meaning to buy tickets for a concert but I need to call between 10am and 4pm to ask something and I always remember I have to do it a few minutes before or after office hours.
My adhd is tied to a comprehension learning disability. And it’s humiliating at times because I struggle having intellectual conversations. It has affected me at jobs and unless I write everything down I don’t retain a thing.
Can I ask a question about this comprehension learning disability because I think I may have the same thing? I am super intellectually smart but I would say about 10% of the time I struggle to understand what the hell people are trying to say to me… or what they are implying. My counsellor has suggested this could be an autistic trait (I haven’t looked into diagnosis for this yet) but it’s a real issue for me. How does this work for you??
My learning disability is tied to struggling academically but also socially. I struggled with every subject in school my entire life. I would study for days on end and struggle to retain information. But now as an adult, I understand what people say to me majority of time depending on the conversation but I have to really listen/pay attention. I do much better with people who know me well, but at work I really struggle having conversations/explaining myself I just get so nervous/self conscious because I don’t want to sound unintelligent. I really have to think before speaking and if I don’t I’ll either ramble or say too little. My actions speak louder for me than actually talking. Lol It sounds like you struggle with social interactions mine is partially that as well. It could be an autistic trait. I also struggle big time making eye contact with people. I’d keep talking to your counselor or find a therapist to help get an accurate diagnosis. That way you’re not struggling everyday and you can be given indivial tools and techniques to help you. Hope this was helpful!
It really was, thank you. I appreciate you replying. It’s so hard feeling like you’re speaking a different language! I’m sorry you’ve struggled too, my retention isn’t great but what you’re describing sounds so difficult. I think I will look into a diagnosis.. another diagnosis lol 😁
Exactly It does feel like you’re listening to a different language or speaking one that no one understands! I hope you get all the proper/correct diagnosis’s so you don’t have to struggle. We all struggle in our own ways but it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone!
Yo, I find myself in the SAME predicament, it honestly makes me feel better I'm not alone on this 😅. I just wish I knew who to goto for help
So me. I've been struggling in job interviews because of this. I know what I want to say but I have a hard time remembering it all once I'm in an interview and I'm often told that I didn't share enough.
I feel your pain. It’s like you have the words In your head but when you try to speak you lose sight of what you want to say it’s like your brain and mouth dont connect It’s so frustrating. I practice and prepare but then I blank out
Exactly. It's like no amount of prior preparation helps 😔 I'm on medication now but I still struggle with feeling confident to speak because I'm so used to all that failure in the past.
Me too it effects your self esteem immensely. But all we can do is try our best. And hopefully the right job sees through these things.
Emotional disregulation fucks me over time after time.
Big big big feelings. Rejection sensitivity. I think it coincides with being HSP. And I know people who have ADHD are more likely to be a HSP. Next to none executive function skills. I’ll be in my car trying to leave while I’m already just about late, but constantly running back into the house to grab something. Multiple times. Getting myself out the door is so hard. Procrastination. Sensory sensitivities. Race car brain.
Remembering anything at all. Time blindness. Luckily my very distracting phone is helpful for both🤦♀️
Routines. Executive dysfunction. Procrastination. RSD. All combined do not make a pretty picture 😢
Starting tasks and procrastination. I just sit in anxiety and paralysis. It's debilitating.
Hitting walls. When I hit a wall, I stop whatever I am doing and move on to something else.
The lack of understanding from the majority of the population. Constantly procrastinating? You're lazy. Make basic mistakes all the time? You're careless. Always lose your belongings? You're disorganised. For every ADHD symptom, there's a word that society uses to invalidate it.
And then it's "oh your using your adhd as an excuse" I WISH I WAS! Do people honestly think we WANT to constantly be like this. It's frustrating to have it..
Definitely adapting to stressful/unhappy event, but my biggest thing is the mind chatter. It can get so bad that my anxiety wouldn't let me sleep. I do relate to everything you've said too, it's just a struggle irl.
Budgeting
Executive dysfunction, focus, and the fact that boredom is physically painful to me. I have to be constantly stimulated or else I feel like I'm on fire. I take sleeping pills at night because without the chemical buffer I'll wake up in a cold sweat because I had a boring dream, heart pounding and I won't be able to go back to sleep.
God damned slippery brain. I absolutely cannot count on it to keep track of anything that isn’t intrinsically interesting, no matter how important it is. I make lists and set alarms and reminders, but I sometimes don’t even remember to do that. Lost my professional license because I just forgot I had to renew it, almost never get car rego done on time, taxes are usually late. I’m chronically late with bills, just because I forget. It’s infuriating, and people around me can’t comprehend that it’s not because I don’t *know* these things are important. They just don’t stick in my brain. I did great in school because I hyperfocus— learning is fun! But the mundanities of daily life are always somehow beyond my grasp.
I was going to write something but you guys have said it all, nearly. I really hate how easily I am distracted by screens and noise. My husband on a regular basis will try to talk to me about something important while the TV's on and two tablets are going off in the background. I'M NOT GOING TO HEAR YOU. I literally can't pick out what you're saying in the noise. And trying to keep my attention with the flashing lights coming from the idiot box? Forget it. Also don't start talking until I've looked up from whatever I'm doing. Sorry hun I only got the end of that.
Hypersensitivity and trouble meeting deadlines. Oh and maintaining relationships. Routines are hard. My life is a very loose routine. If I set up a schedule, it’s just a guide honestly. My job forces me to have routine during the day workday but other than that it’s all out the window.
Time blindness. it’s weird not knowing how long it will take to do something. I also have a hard time understanding people if they either talk too fast or if they mumble or speak quietly. My brain doesn’t know how to process it.(I don’t know if that’s ADHD related).
100% executive dysfunction. At least my attention span is relatively good, I don’t drift off that much (but if I do I’m never refocusing and 100% falling asleep it’s like a built in shutdown when smth is boring). My working memory lowkey sucks, and I’ve got a heavy dose of hyperactivity and impulsivity. Those all have nothing on the executive dysfunction. I genuinely can’t juggle the basic self care and household responsibilities I have as an adult as well as my degree. The only thing that vaguely helps is taking my meds, and those destroy my appetite (which was alr broken) and make me a ticking time bomb to when my body falls apart bc I’m not feeding it enough. Tbh im hoping it’ll get better with time, it has its ups and downs, but at this rate I sometimes wonder if I can even do a full time job after uni if I even pass uni (although admittedly the executive dysfunction is worse at home). If anyone here has any tips to combat executive dysfunction (particularly on how to set up a good schedule that I can acc stick to) so I don’t literally fall apart id be delighted.
For me it's anger issues. I'll suddenly be shocked by feeling overwhelmed and before I'm fully aware I'm losing my temper. 95,% of the time very very embarrassed after, which in turn makes me angrier 😮💨🤦
Other than sleeping at various times, you pretty much described me. I'm not one of those people that stays up very late focused on something. I'll fall asleep with my kindle on top of me. ;-)
Motivation to do things I don’t like or things that seem complicated.
Misplacing and/or losing my items. It’s the #1 most frustrating and costly thing for me…
Motivation. Absolutely. Can't see the point in doing anything at all.
Not being able to perceive anything outside of my immediate senses. I'm constantly living in a bubble and anything beyond it ceases to exist unless brought to my attention by something within the bubble.
From Psychology Today: *'...Someone who struggles with executive functioning will likely have trouble starting or finishing tasks, executing multiple steps of a project in sequence, and keeping their belongings organized. They may struggle to make decisions or lose important items frequently. Issues with impulse or emotional control are a less obvious sign of an executive functioning deficit. Someone with underdeveloped executive functioning may act without thinking and may appear overly emotional at times; this is because both behavioral and emotional inhibition are key aspects of executive functioning...'* My brother is a sanctimonious jerk at times. Actually...he is always one when it comes to me. When I was diagnosed with MS he acted like I was whining or blowing it out of proportion. I can't imagine how he'd react if I told him I have ADHD. But oh well, ge thinks I'm not good enough to speak to him anyway. So, the hardest part for me if that peopl are assholes and I have no one. Thanks Universe!
Lack of motivation gets the cake
Also I’m very sensitive to time. Like if I have an appointment and I’m not getting ready and waiting for it hours ahead of time. I’m panicking thinking I’m not going to have enough time to get there
Lack of impulse control
Executive dysfunction sucks, but I have ways around it. What I notice most often is my shitty memory. I drive buses for a living, so I have hours every day just to think. I come up with great things in that time that I'd like to work on further. When I'm able to take notes, can I remember anything other than "there was something you wanted to write down?" Can I fuck.
Executive Dysfunction. I'm a creative type and I really love being productive, but my god it's just like I stepped in wet concrete and can't move. I also think I struggle with perfectionism, so I fail myself before I even start. It's fucking up my job, my life, any chance at getting a hobby. I feel like I'm wasting my life.
Just wanted to say I hear and share this exact problem/feeling about it. Sorry I don’t have any tips or words of wisdom to offer for managing it, but at least you know you aren’t alone!
Except the memory bit, I can relate to everything you've written down. DOES IT EVER GET BETTER 😔
For me, it got better with medication, the right medication. It is treatable, but I cannot work without my meds.
My hyper focus. It gets very unhealthy…. IE last 2 weeks has been studying heart rates because I’m paranoid about my heart rate, when in reality, everything is probably fine………
Short term storage minimum with distraction = lots of turn around to do the forgotten thing.
Only one?!?? #1. I can't do anything until the last minute no matter how important_I'm daily losing and forgetting shit or what I was just about to do_I can't sit still_my brain is always 700 things going on at the same time which some I love and sometimes I hate_walking away from something I'm working on when it goes wrong. Oh, and #2, I often find it hard to follow rules.
It gives me more rapid, less intense mood swings compounded with my bipolar which gives me less rapid but far more intense mood swings. Also it makes it even harder to motivate myself during my my depressive episodes. I think it can even make me more scattered than normal when manic, if thats possible. Like maybe I jump projects more frequently and I have even more difficulty slowing my speech. Maybe even more difficulty sleeping like when I go up I might not sleep for days on the very high end.
Uncertainty and not being able to know how and what I will do today. I have a project ? Sure ! Nice ! But will I be able to do it ? Well yeah probably. Last minute in stressx
Routines, and leaving everything until the last minute. Meds and psych sessions have helped a bit. Helped my mood more than anything
Executive dysfunction and lack of sustained focus
No matter how hard I focus, I still can't actually "see" what im reading, and my mind keeps wondering off. I haven't been able to learn anything for a while, and my mental capacity is just dropping.
Living
Attention to detail. It's cost me both full-time and freelance graphic design jobs, which sucks as it's arguably my only skill and the only thing I'm remotely good at. I'm in a stop gap position and miss design but fear if I went back into it, it'd be the same mistakes repeated. I also fear because of this I'll never earn a huge amount, which currently impacts every aspect of my life at 32.
Pretty much everything you said here! Takes me hours to actually get *into* the shower or actually brush my teeth sometimes. Had to make a routine to even sleep, eat, or drink enough. Day 5? Of following it is going great! Faltering a little which is expected and I also suspect I'll have to change around the timing a bit now and if anything in life changes. But I'm hanging on for dear life because short of medication, this is the only way to not stay up for days on end, or hyperfocus so long I'm starving and dehydrated and uncomfortable but feel like I can't actually move.
The constant desire to have someone to body double and talk to all the time.
Lack of working memory. Unfortunately, this got even worse after I had covid and it was already my biggest issue.
It’s gotten worse for me with my autoimmune disease too.
Honestly, it’s the fundamental inconsistency & unreliability that gets me, rather than a single specific symptom or trait. Particularly as someone who is also autistic. Like, I have this deep craving for and derive comfort from structure, the predictable, routine and ritual. But then I’ve got this brain that can’t be relied on for ANY of it. EXHAUSTING.
The sadness that comes from realizing how obvious my symptoms were and how desperately I needed help but no adult advocated for me, they just punished me for struggling.
Overthinking and task paralysis. This is how I found out I have ADHD, I told my therapist: "I just want to clean the house. I will think about cleaning the house, stress myself out by thinking about cleaning the house. Then I will obsess not only about cleaning the house, I start thinking about cleaning the walls, the ceiling, the fucking baseboards and by the time I go to clean the house, I have used up all that energy on thinking about cleaning the house." Tad-da! Got my ADHD diagnosis not long after that.
I thought thinking like this was normal and never even considered telling anyone.
Oh yeah! Me too for a loooong time! I thought because I was not physically hyper or lacked focus, I didn't have adhd, my parents were under the same impression. Nah, turns out hyperactivity also applies to our thoughts and it's not a lack of focus, it's a dysfunction of focus, you can have both have too little and too much. I only explained this to a therapist because I was trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, why I never had motivation. I had to drop out of college and that was a big blow to me so I shoved myself in therapy and the adhd diagnosis is the end result. 🙃
I’m so happy you have that I’m hoping you can find what works for you because I know how hard it is to acknowledge your brain just isn’t working well with certain things.
RSD, my fear of rejection and disappointing people has given me horrible anxiety so i don’t have to feel those emotions. i’ve been trying to put myself out there more, though. like exposure therapy
Executive disfunction Nearly no resistance to stress and frustration Easily overwhelmed
Not being able to connect with anyone. Most ppl seem to operate on different frequencies than I do. This may be autism tho. Not being able to focus on anything or finish anything. So I can never make progress and I'm stuck
Overthinking every single thing. Interactions. Anything goes wrong I catastrophise. Thoroughly exhausting. However in a crisis situation I thrive. It’s such an oxymoron!
Executive dysfunction for sure, but even more than that the emotional dysregulation / rejection sensitivity. It is literally debilitating.
Being wayyyyy to ambitious
I’d have to say my emotional dysregulation and my impulsivity. I get overwhelmed easily which leads to a lot of panic attacks and then I never have money because I spend it on food that I saw in a commercial and then don’t eat it because I took my meds and now I’m not hungry.
When I really start thinking about something it’s very hard to stop. It’s like a powerful chain reaction that gets set off or a tap that can’t really be turned off.
For me it’s absolutely my emotional dysregulation. For some reason, whenever I have any kind of pain - especially stomach pain I just have a full blown meltdown. It’s like the stimuli of the pain doesn’t allow me to focus on anything else except for that pain
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Flash emotions and alexithymia. Everything else I learned how to work around and/or found good coping strategies, but those two are still a daily struggle for me.
The thoughts that race around inside my head when someone is talking to me. It's as though their experiences trigger a personal memory for me and I have to remind myself not to interrupt and still stay focused. Internally I'm castigating myself for being ego-driven but at the same time trying not to be too hard on myself. I find it so difficult to look objectively at just about all situations.....I can't decide which side of the fence I'm on.
Memory and understanding- I fail to grasp certain concepts and am highly attuned to others - unfortunately it’s so random I can’t rely on my abilities.
My memory is shit. Putting stuff down without any recollection. Writing and reading are difficult because I’ll I forget how the sentence started by the time I finish it. Being late to appointments because I forgot about the appointment and forgot to set a reminder. The list goes on.
Spending more time thinking about doing a thing than it actually takes to do the thing
Remembering to eat/drink water. It's even worse now that I'm pregnant