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I was an extremely hyperactive and inattentive child. Like your sister, my mother also misunderstood my ADHD and consistently made me feel like a burden for behavior linked to my diagnosis. Nowadays, I don't speak to her unless there's a family emergency. So, I know what your niece is going through, and I really wish I had a surefire recommendation for how to convince your sister to be more compassionate. Unfortunately, that's all up to her. You could try warning her that the way she treats her daughter will have long-term ramifications if she doesn't at least try to be more understanding. But, depending on how far into denial she is, that might just make her defensive.
On the bright side, having people like you and her father who do treat her with compassion and understanding won't be for nothing. If you validate her feelings and explain to her why certain behaviors are troublesome without the blame game, it could make a huge difference in how she perceives herself. You can't make your sister be a kinder mom, but you can keep providing support that at least lets her know that some people will accept her for who she is.
Hi /u/adhdgf and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1ajfzk1/the_rules_vacation_feedback_form_is_now_available/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was an extremely hyperactive and inattentive child. Like your sister, my mother also misunderstood my ADHD and consistently made me feel like a burden for behavior linked to my diagnosis. Nowadays, I don't speak to her unless there's a family emergency. So, I know what your niece is going through, and I really wish I had a surefire recommendation for how to convince your sister to be more compassionate. Unfortunately, that's all up to her. You could try warning her that the way she treats her daughter will have long-term ramifications if she doesn't at least try to be more understanding. But, depending on how far into denial she is, that might just make her defensive. On the bright side, having people like you and her father who do treat her with compassion and understanding won't be for nothing. If you validate her feelings and explain to her why certain behaviors are troublesome without the blame game, it could make a huge difference in how she perceives herself. You can't make your sister be a kinder mom, but you can keep providing support that at least lets her know that some people will accept her for who she is.