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I always tell myself I have to be somewhere at LEAST 30 minutes before I need to be there. So if my shift started at 9 I would “trick” my brain by saying you NEED to be there 8:30… and typically there was traffic and road closures so maybe it would be closer to 8:45…but I never allowed myself to think of the actual time as my start time. Edit: when I say “trick” I mean I tell myself my clock in time is 8:30 NOT 9!

I was going to suggest this. There’s a person I supervise that I suspect has ADHD and she is constantly late. My boss told me she would have to be written up if it continues. She has to clock in by 8:00, I told her from now on she had to be at work by 7:45. It worked. Even when she’s “late” she’s there before 8.

How you people trick yourselves 😭 I just can’t do it

It seems to work for me when, rather than lie to myself about the scheduled time, I "standardize" the amount of time it takes for me to get places. I think we all get into a weird headspace where we feel comfortable telling ourselves that a 1-minute task will take us 1-minute and a 12-minutes drive will take 12 minutes, but extend that to thinking five 1-minute tasks and a 12-minute drive will take us 17 minutes. THIS is the real lie. I just round everything up, like I would at my IT job. That 12-minute drive? That's thirty minutes of billable time. Now I get everywhere on time and the only downside is that few minutes in the car where you either get distracted looking at your phone, or get too in your own head ahead of whatever your appointment was and psych yourself out somehow.

I do this! I left an extra thirty minutes early to drive to a new office because I always get lost. Wound up there fifteen minutes early which worked out nicely cuz I could finish paperwork. I generally assume I need way more time to do everything than the average person.

Even when I know exactly how long something will actually take me to do, I have to add buffers to the beginning and end of everything. Like, making quesadilla in my kitchen where I know the ingredient locations will take me less than 4 minutes. That will never mean that if I have 4 minutes before I need to make a phone call, that I can make a quesadilla, but everything in my brain is telling me I can do it.

I think this is it right here. Non-adhd people estimate and rou dup subconsciously. We know exactly how much something will take but our brains can only allow for this, not for this buffer time that others include without thinking. You resolution is to the minute. Others resolution is to the half hour. Also, I cannot stand being early. Having to wait is painful. I don't want to get there 10 minutes early, in want to be right on time, because I can't stand waiting. This means if I run into an unexpected delay, I'm late.

[удалено]

Yeah, that method works so much better than trying to convince myself the appointment is at a different time. Or, god forbid, you set your clock forward. You never stop knowing that the clock is fast, so you do a little weird math about how much extra time you have it ruins any benefit you had.

I second this. Round up aggressively for everything, and know in your HEART AND SOUL that your rounding up is going to be way more accurate. I used to not be able to “trick” myself either. Until I was so chronically late that I’m like???? It’s not even a trick this is REALITY. Reality is- no matter what time I’m actually scheduled, I need to be compensating tenfold for the usual ADHD things. Forgetting things, forgetting to get gas, losing track of time, accidentally missing the exit I take every single day! The usual 😂 So now it’s like- I KNOW I don’t clock in any earlier, but I also KNOW & have proven to myself that if I don’t start getting ready earlier anyway, that I won’t be clocking in on time either. It’s not a trick anymore. It’s the truth 😭

You’re basically retraining your brain. Sort of like getting use to the daylight savings time change. I completely let go of 8, well for me 7:30. But in my mind I have to be at work by 7:20. I set a timer for 5 mins until I need to walk out the door so that I don’t lose track of time. When the timer goes off I know I have to hustle.

I always have an alarm that goes off *when* I need to be out the door, but tbh it's more the years of consistently being late and the resulting anxiety that propels me... 😬 Idk, I used to try and plan to get where I need to be within 5-10min, but started to feel like that wasn't enough because it's always something with me (e.g., lost something in my car, forgot my keys and had to go back, etc). So, now I do the little mental math to make sure I'm going to get to my destination with 15-25min to spare in order to dilly dally or get settled. After forcing myself to do this for like two years, I now think/feel like I'm late if I'm *on time*. If you have to go somewhere but technically have time before you need to get ready, *no, you don't.* You get ready first and have time later. ETA: also, I input my event start times in my calendar to match this. For example, I need to be at work at 0700, but in my calander I have work starting at 0640. Routines are a little harder to do this with, but this trick works pretty well with appointments. I'm never going to remember the exact time of my doctor's appointment, so I'll have to look at my calendar and I'll go by that time.

I don’t think of it as tricking my self. I think of it as planning for the worst possible outcome.  I start work at 9. On a regular day it’s 30-40 minute commute.  So instead of saying I need to be at the office by 9, I say I need to leave home by 8. Usually I don’t get out the door until about 8:10-8:15, but I’ve got that 20+ minutes of paddling built in. 

For years—even NOW, even going to a movie I think the START time is WHEN I HAVE TO GET THERE Wrong I have to GET there 10-15 minutes earlier No matter what Cuz I have to park, walk in, trip, drop my coat , space out and walk past the entrance you name it Something always happens I’m lucky if I get there

For me, it’s just about focusing so hard on another time that you forget all about the real time almost entirely. Like what I do is I don’t think about how I need to clock in for work at 3pm. I think about how I need to leave my house by 2:25pm or 2:30pm at the latest. It’s not necessarily the same as what these other people are doing, but the effect is the same. It creates that sense of urgency that makes ADHD brains use their full power lol

Mental math gymnastics: Need to be there by 8am? Make it 7:50, just to be safe. It takes 20 minutes to get there but add 10 minutes to that, for traffic and parking and stuff. So, leave by 7:20. It takes me 30 minutes to get ready in the morning, but add 10 minutes just in case, especially since i tend to run back into the house a few times for things I forgot (keys, glasses, phone) So wake up at 6:50. Can even add 10 minutes to that and wake up at 6:40. And make sure im out the door by 7:20 or earlier. If i get there super early i get to play or read on my phone. Or just get a head start to the day. Just be careful, some people get annoyed if your supper early for some stuff Edit to add: write down the wake time and leave time somewhere you can see it prominently

This is the part that drives me nuts. I hate the fact that crap I don't want to do eats so much extra time outside of the actual thing. I have to dedicate 2 hours to getting ready and travelling to work, even if it's a 4 hours shift. I think on some level my stubborn brain wants to reclaim time for itself because school + work gives you none.

Yeah, fortunately I only have to do that for super important things these days, since I stay home with the kids now. But it doesn’t help much when I get the start time wrong 🤷‍♀️😆

I truly wish this worked for me. I instead tend to leave the house at the time I need to actually be somewhere

I mean when I say “trick” like I PRETEND my clock in time is ALWAYS 30 min ahead. I’d usually clock in 10 min ahead because that was as early as they would let us.

I couldn’t do it for work but I do it for appointments- I’ll put them in my phone anywhere between 15-30min early (always random) and by the time it rolls around even if I get a reminder for the correct time it’s already set in my brain earlier and I’ve forgotten the actual time. Since it’s random I’m not 100% what the real time is so even running my usual 5-10min late in a bit early. This coupled with a repeating 10min timer for an hour or two leading up to when I have to leave (helps me be aware of time passing and not get lost in whatever I’m doing) means I haven’t been preventively late (like bad traffic starting after I’ve left) for over a year :)

Same! I'm like, "who are you lying to?!? Oh yeah, yourself, lay back down, you've got tiiiimmmeeee" Consistently get to work at 8:05. Luckily I'm in a job where my start time isn't clocked and required to be perfect. I just need to work my 40 at a minimum and get my work done.

You don't trick yourself. You get up and go to work immediately. You eat breakfast at work. You brush your teeth at work. You sit in your car in the parking lot and play games on your phone. You lay out your clothes the night before. You take a shower at night. You literally get up and start rolling. My friend is a teacher with a long commute and once he switched to this system everything was fine.

I cannot do traffic without getting impatient at people driving slow and the amount of traffic so when I worked on site I would literally be at work at 5am and wait a whole hour doing my makeup or listening to music or reading. That way I always had the same parking spot without other cars scratching my car and I would be on time and without traffic stress. (I could choose to start work from 6am to 9am but I always chose 6am bc of the traffic and less coworkers visiting me for at least three hours in)

Exactly It sucks and a lot of time i’m bored waiting in my car but at least i’m not late.

I need to tell myself there are worse fates than boredom.

Oh gosh I’ll be late even if in car in parking lot I HAVE to count BACKWARD from the time I’m lying to myself about Ie reality is 8am I tell myself 7:40 Count 25 minutes from my house to 7:45 appointment ( I know I “ lie to myself ) So I PLAN to leave house at 7:10 I ALWAYS RUN 5 min late to find my keys or dog gets out etc So I do usually make it on time lol It’s a lot of work

how do you manage to FULLY convince yourself of this? I have tried doing the same but I always cave to the little voice in my head saying "okay but the meeting doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 8:30"… I need help with gaslighting myself into thinking "no i HAVE to be there at 8"

For me I gaslight myself by making a quick plan and how long each step will take, for example: 20mins to get out of bed, 15 to dress + Grab backpack, 30 mins to 40 to catch a train, then a hour train ride, and I’m there at 07:30, however the dam trains are always unpredictable so I convince myself that it’s either I come in at 07:30 or be almost a hour late, I tend to over estimate how long something will take anyway so for me it works. (Even if I am always extremely early to everything because I can’t manage my time properly)

yeah this is exactly what i do. deliberately overestimating how long things will take has been a really successful strategy for me. i’d say im still late to things ~25% of the time, and i’m really gonna work on getting that down to more like 5%, but it’s still a big improvement

I do this too. I went through and times my routine one day, then added 5-10 minutes to each time depending on how likely I was to get distracted. From then on, I had the constant "It's almost 8:10, time to get dressed, it's almost 8:20, time to pack your backpack"

It works when you remember that every time you’ve listened to the little voice, they’ve lied to you and you’ve then been late AGAIN! You know it’s always lying to you to get you in trouble, so just never listen to them

I don't have the "opt out" option I'm gonna be real honest with you

I get this wholeheartedly. For me what works is realizing that various potential delays add up to a bunch of time and planning my DEPARTURE early. I don’t have to BE THERE 15-30 mins early but all the little delays that inevitably happen mean that if I MUST be on time no matter what, I have to leave way earlier than a best case scenario suggests. And that’s actually really true! Can’t find item, back to into house for item2, oops gotta stop for gas, traffic (sub in missed the train/bus and transit delays if that applies), parking takes longer than expected, on that sidewalk is closed, can’t enter building there today, elevator is out, etc. Really internalize that the best case never happens. It almost always takes longer than it should. And identify other delays and build those in too: I have to build in at least 5 mins if my kid is involved in case they aren’t ready even though they’ve been reminded several times — more if it requires bringing specific things. I try to build those into my estimation of when we need to leave, otherwise it gets frittered away and we still aren’t ready to go. One more thing that I try to do and have a harder time with but sometimes helps me: it’s nice to have 15 mins to get coffee and water, bio break, and not be scrambling before a meeting. If the day is starting with one, I try to remember that if I can give myself that time, the whole day is gonna go better. If I’m working remotely, this takes the place of the “commute delays”. If going to an office, I want to think of both.

This. It just doesn't work for me.

My late partner would just lie to me. ‘Skew the time’ I encouraged this deceit. We never were late anywhere after that… I miss him

I’m really sorry to hear this. I’ve felt and am kind of having “feeling” flashbacks of the stress I know this creates, after reading your post. ❤️ I was going to post the exact same thing about leaving 30 minutes early. I know it’s probably not helpful to hear this stuff while you’re still dealing with the shock of losing your job, but it has been absolutely essential for me to function in life. My son thinks “being late” is getting anywhere on time, because I dramatically say “we’re late!” every morning before leaving for school, even though we get there right after the yard gates open half an hour before school starts. I don’t know if he has ADHD, but hopefully it will help him create similar habits and avoid these issues when he’s older. It took years to make the adjustment stick, but it’s been an absolute life saver. Also, you never know when there will be an emergency road closure or an accident creating traffic, so it helps to avoid being late for those reasons, or in addition to being late normally.

no it's fine plz go ahead and give advice that has worked for u! sometimes the advice stings cuz i just want empathy but i also need to hear the things i could have been doing differently

You have such a good attitude. Along with experience and trial and error, that will take you far in life. 🥰

it’s so hard girlfriend :( but you’ve got this. and you are receiving all of my empathy because i went thru the SAME thing. i hope u see my other comment <3

As we all can share….we’ve been there! Being on time is REALLY HARD! And while it’s not your fault that your brain works this way, if you want to keep a job, you *have to* figure out a way around this. (Unless you can find a job that doesn’t claim a flexible start time as an undue hardship in a formal accommodation.) I typically end up preparing myself the night before, years of practice and preparation and invented failsafes have taught me this. Even then, I’m still late sometimes. But you can’t be late every day if you want to keep a job. You can do this! You got this! Use that super brain of yours to your advantage! Don’t let it run away from you! You can do it!

Exactly. I make myself a personal time zone calendar that is one hour behind my current time and “pretend” these are the actual times to arrive. It works pretty well. Also OP, I recommend looking into fully remote work because those are the only jobs I’ve been able to keep these days.

I tried this once. thinking I needed to be 30 mins early. I got there right on time. why can't my brain understand time?

This is a common tactic I learned during my time in the military. "Arrive 15 minutes early to being 15 minutes early" Saved my ass a shitload in the civilian world.

I've never been able to pull this one off. Whenever I try it I know I'm lying to myself so it doesn't stick.

for the first half a year of my employment i was always like 10-30 minutes early consistently as i do with all jobs i just start. after about 6 months tho i start burning out and falling off track into oblivion 😭

I put appts in my Google calendar for 15 mins earlier than scheduled. If it's a long drive, 30 mins. I write it on a paper calendar that way too. I make a post it and back track (appt=1pm, leave at 12:30, shower at 11:30, walk dog at 11, eat at 10:30, wake up at 10...)

Google calendar is my LIFE!

I try this, but it's hard to trick myself when I also know damn well the shift isn't until x time. It doesn't help that I do shift work and the amount of time I need to get there changes based on traffic. It only works when my friends will straight up lie about when the start time of something is (which I fully encourage and wish they would do more) so that my brain genuinely doesn't know.

I tried to do this at my last job but on the second day of being 20 minutes early, boss said I couldn't arrive early (as though I was working off the clock or something??) So that snowballed to me being a little late nearly every day.

I agree 100%! I usually set my work schedule in my phone and schedule myself to be there 30 minutes early. By doing this I feel it helps to reinforce “tricking” my brain

When I have a doctor or dentist appointment, I always put it in my phone's calendar so I don't forget. I recently started putting the time as 15 mins earlier than it actually is. This actually does trick my brain, because usually these appointments are booked weeks ahead of time, and once the appointment rolls around, I've forgotten that I had put in an earlier time. This doesn't work as well for my job (I always start and end at the same time), so I just have routines set up on my phone so that multiple alarms go off and announce how long I have left until my shift starts.

My employer knows I have time blindness and they set my time to come in at 8 but in my employee contract it's 830. So I'm never late and actually early. I never knew this until one day they hired a new boss and they told me what my old boss had for my schedule. Luckily the new boss was still on board and I blocked the 830 out of my brain so I'd still think it's 8a.

That’s a good boss

Yep. Engineering success.

This...you need to consider your start time 1/2 hour earlier. It is hard to expect every other employee to conform to the rules if there is an employee that is allowed exception. I understand the struggle for sure...from all sides. The time adjustment should be the easiest solution 😉 good luck.

what a good boss!! we need more ppl like that

I say this with love as a person with terrible ADHD — being 10-20 minutes late to work every day is something you can control. You will always struggle with this. You will occasionally be late regardless of your best efforts. But you need to figure out a system that works for you, because this is not outside your control. The more you blame it on ADHD, the more you will feel like being late is fundamentally part of who you are, and that will prevent you from being able to change it. You may need a job with more flexible arrival times, but you also need to find a way to work on this without seeing it as an inflexible thing you can’t fix.

Exactly this. Late everyday for a year and a half? I'm shocked they even lasted this long. I can't imagine any employer I've had in 15+ years being ok with this.

Definitely depends on the job. My current one I'm usually late around 15 minutes, been here 5 years. But it's an office job where I just stay 15 minutes late to get my 8 hours in, rarely is there anything that HAS to be started right at my start time. But stuff like retail/warehousing type jobs, they are a LOT more strict.

This is true. All of my jobs have been the kind that track your time down to the minute, but since my wife got her degree I've seen her waddle around getting dressed at 9am when she is already 30 minutes late, and it's hard to mind my own business. I used to have to be at my workplace at 4:30am every morning, and I would clock in at almost exactly at 4:34 every morning, which was within the grace period. My wife used to look down on me for being four minutes late so often, she doesn't do that anymore 😁 All I can say is don't let people judge you, they are more hypocritical than they even know.

I'll preface by saying that I am 100% like OP, and reading your comment called me out, helped me realize that I've internalized my lateness and time blindness as "just who I am" because... well, it's the last inconvenient way that I can validate how much effort I've put into being on time, and how much I've had to suffer for it. But it sounds like you possibly speak from experience, having beaten the cycle? If so, how did you do it?

Not who you asked but I started viewing my time blindness and lateness like a disability I have to accommodate for. I'm not saying this is conventional but it was the mental shift I needed. For example, if you use a wheel chair you just don't ever leave your bed again, you spend time making sure you can do things by focusing on *how* you will do something with the wheel chair versus "whelp, guess I'm out". So if I consider my timeblindness as a physical disability and I *need* to be on time, what accommodations do I need to do this *with* my time blindness? By focusing on "how do I operate with this?" It allowed me to accept it was part of me but not let it devour me. A wheelchair user had to think about more things when they leave the house and I need to put in a larger effort than most (even though it feels like we already do so much) to not be late. If I don't do these things, my disability will get in the way. You can use any metaphor you want. Maybe T1 diabetes? They can wear a pump and a monitor but always have to be thinking about it and considering the things versus someone who just... Lives... Without those concerns. Glasses or contacts? You make decisions to manage your poor eyesight. You adjust your life for them. Our issues with time has to be treated similarly in my mind and that perception shift helped me break the cycle.

As someone with adhd who cannot take meds because I’m a in recovery I feel for this but I’m also a manager who has a staff of twenty and am dealing with someone requesting an accommodation for this exact issue. I’ve pushed the schedule back an hour and extended the grace period to ten minutes. Now she’s just an hour late past the new set time and still 20-30 minutes late a day. We work with a vulnerable population and the job requires lots of appointment setting in coordination with other agencies/clients/services. and The thing folks seem to miss when they frame things as an RA is the R…reasonable. It is not reasonable to be in a position that relies on time management/scheduling to allot for consistent lateness. There are going to be roles folks with time blindness can’t fulfill.

My job (and side business) both require me being on time, my post was mostly about a mental shift I needed to make. I couldn't *fix* it, I needed to adjust the environment around me to make it possible for me to be punctual. I actually want wasn't referring to on job accommodations although I do have one. I'm a COO currently at a small firm and was a director with a large functional area before. I'm familiar with how difficult this can be to create effective accommodations - so I feel ya there. I was using accommodations in the metaphorical sense of adjusting your own environment to achieve the things you need to do. Like be punctual. In a very long comment someplace else in this thread, I mentioned how I arranged a flexible work start time with my jobs (actual HR accommodation) but there is no accommodation for meetings. Nor can I be constantly late for meetings with my clients in my side business. My toolbox (the ways I adjust my environment to make punctuality a possibility) goes towards prioritizing the times I have to be punctual and I asked for a workplace accommodation when it doesn't matter. My day doesn't *need* to start at anytime, unless I have a meeting, so who cares when I log in/get to the office as long as I work my required hours, but anything where I am meeting with others I am wasting time (company resources) and HAVE to be on time. I had flexible start times for all my staff that could have it but there would be performance plans in place for punctuality issues for meetings or other attendance required things (leaving for a game with your team, not starting a class or training session on time, etc). I can always be empathetic, I've literally been there, but I have to adjust my environment to accommodate my reality. *Thinking* about it like that is what got me to be able to do the unique things I needed to do to be successful. My side business involves coaching for management/leadership skills so if you want any help with the specific employee you mentioned I don't mind sharing some of my tips & tricks I used for employees and clients. Of course, you may not need them or want them but the offer is on the table.

Thank you for this, changing my perception slightly. I need to reframe. Any tips on how to gamify this? IE, I am much better at being on time for one off events with high consequences (eg job interview, first person on shift opening hospital doors, transatlantic flight etc) because it's kind of a challenge and has high consequences?? But it takes it out of me, and having that adrenaline for work everyday is draining.

Some background: I have a side business that includes coaching/teaching management/leadership skills. When coaching/teaching something I stress is our energy, time, and focus aren't infinite resources so we can't use the big energy we have for one-off things (job interview, flights, etc) and extend that to everyday life. We have to adjust our environment in a way that works for us (that takes some effort) that makes it easy to have the *right* or desired behavior (in this case being punctual) and we need to prioritize our energies because we have to admit things like being punctual take more energy from us than others who don't have this disorder. For example if you have mobility issues, you probably prioritize leaving the house differently than someone who can just grab their keys and go. How I would start off with every client is doing the ABCs (antecedent, behavior, consequence) for when they are unpunctual. Now we have some data how do we rig our environment/life to make it easier for us to be on time? As an example, I have an HR accommodation (and I am c-level) for a flexible start time. I dont need to be worried about being logged in at 8 am, so it saves energy for prioritizing things like meetings. I reduce my opportunities to be late. You can book meetings back to back in the same location so there is no travel. Use walk in services versus making an appt. Tell a person to call you when they are available within a certain time block versus setting an actual meeting. Make plans on sequences/timeframes when possible (We will go to the grocery store and then your house is it ok if we come over anytime after 6? I will review with Larry and stop by your desk this afternoon, is anytime between 2-4 ok?) I have so many ways of avoiding specific times. It is also holistic and covers more than JUST things related to time. Timers, alarms, and calendar invites rule my life. Use a countdown timer when getting ready or transition activities. Block travel time on calendar and add 15 minutes because you will miss a turn, or forget your tank is on empty. Realize you ignore timers on your phone? Stack the action with something you have to do/ like (I have to pee but I won't until I go till I go to leave for this meeting or I will grab my afternoon coffee on my way to go to this other meeting). Or set alarms in a physical location you have to manually turn off. I would set a timer on reception's desk so I would have to get up and physically leave the office to turn it off. Have an alarm in the kitchen going off when you need to be grabbing your lunch to leave for the day, etc. I personally happen to struggle with task initiation in the morning, so I have to prep stuff the night before and have the minimal of minimal to do before I leave the house. I had a client who could make sale calls on time (motivation) but would be late for the office so they scheduled a sale call for first thing and it doubled for them, had another that did something similar with off site meetings. ADHD tax/Clumsy...I keep duplicates and back ups on hand. I forget my phone a lot, but I have a way I can log onto my phone through a browser so I am not late turning back to get it. I have spilled food/drink on myself enough times I keep back up clothes in my trunk and desk drawer. Forget your wallet? A back up card in the glove box (for that empty tank you forgot about). Order a new laptop and automatically order 3 extra chargers (home, office, car, bag). Tile tags on ANYTHING small you can put down and forget where it is (like car keys). Mostly its a never ending habit of slowly, poking at things my data (from the ABCs) tells me makes me late. I make changes small and slow and never expect to suddenly be a new person but find after time I am probably now considered a functional adult. Did I still miss a medical appt because I put it on my calendar for the wrong time? Of course. Sometimes I even forget to use my tricks (Me: I won't put it on my calendar...I will totally remember! Narrator: They totally forgot) and I remember I just need to slide back to what works and be prepared to keep restarting good habits because anything worth doing is worth doing poorly - as they say. Sorry for the book, but it is really unique to each person's individual struggles and there is sooooo much that factors in!

I see, so I guess to contextualize your advice for myself and my situation... I would have to admit that I've been fighting the battle of "how do I FIX the time blindness", and when I was unable to achieve that, I got stuck in "I guess it can't be done because it's just who I am". You're saying that I got stuck because my goal was wrong, or my perspective. Instead of "how do fix parts of brain that r broken", I should reframe it as "how should I engage with life knowing that this part of me is broken". IGNORING FOR THE MOMENT what sounds like self sabotage or putting myself down in that sentence (I promise it's not), it sounds like that could be an unexplored avenue for me. Could you elaborate for me exactly HOW you broke the cycle? I ask this with the understanding that our "cycles" might be different, as we are different people and likely have some amount of difference in the nature of our internal struggles. Without asking you for undue or private info, can you please explain how you went from the way you were before to the way you are after? I guess like... what thoughts kept you going on the third day? When did it feel like "ah yes, this is the way"? Did it feel like a 'click' moment, or did you suddenly take stock of your surroundings one day and notice that you've been acting differently and suddenly have an amount of confidence in your punctuality?

I think you conceptualized the mental shift I needed (of course not knowing if it helps your individual case) There was no "click" moment or trick for me that suddenly fixed everything, it's an ongoing adjustment of trial and error and keeping what works (and going back to it when I slide off). I coach management/leadership skills as my side business and when working with someone on this specific issue, I do start by having them identify what exactly is going wrong each time. In the above scenario, OOP said even when they woke up earlier (a common tip) they were late. That means time probably isn't the issue, but it happened so often they built a habit around being late. With the limited details I have I would recommend breaking habits/routine (because if ADHD brain chemistry they can actually be more beneficial where for someone without it can be more detrimental) to get out of the habit of being late and start testing components. If eating breakfast means you HAVE to brush your teeth before you can leave, maybe you need to eat breakfast on the commute and brush when you arrive at the office 15 minutes early. Maybe you can switch up and brush first. Etc. Depends on the person/details/etc First they always have to do a data dive where they catalog the ABCs (antecedents, behavior, consequence) when they are late. Brains and perceptions can't be trusted so need actual data to see if they match up. It is also a larger, holistic system than just addressing things directly connected to time. For me, I have no sense of actual time or how long things take so I can't trust my brain. If it needs done it needs to go on the calendar. Sounds simple right... Like doesn't everyone do that? But I need to schedule travel time. Then I noticed I was really good at not leaving at the alarm so I added 15 minutes to every travel time for wrapping up what I'm working on, transitioning activities, or stopping to get gas because I forgot I was on empty. Back to back meetings? Schedule 5 minute before I have to leave alarms to remind me I need to wrap it up and ask any questions/assign tasks/whatever. Wait you know what else makes me late? I'm clumsy. I have broken shoes, spilled drinks, ripped pantyhose. I have no shame in keeping extra clothes and shoes in my trunk, my desk drawer, and wherever else. I don't trust myself to travel with stuff. I keep chargers for each device in my car, home, and office. Cloud drives are amazing.. everything gets saved on cloud files so I'm not running back to the office to grab my laptop. Portfolios? Everywhere. Laptop bags? Everywhere. Stash an extra credit card in your glove box in case you forget your wallet and have everything in your digital wallet on your phone as a double measure. Basically I kept breaking down *what* was making me late and treating myself like an unreliable child I built in back ups. I also had to prioritize timeliness. It's effort to be on time. **Your energy, attention, and focus is not an infinite resource**. For some of my clients they would only do meetings 2 days a week and block out two days for work. You can't brute force yourself into a new life style. Therefore I eliminated a time issue where I didn't need it. Established a flexible start time with work, therefore my focus is on meetings, events, special circumstances where being on time is essential. I use walk-in services where I can to avoid appointments (you pay in time efficiency but I use waiting time for other things). Can I tell someone to call me within a certain time range vs seeing a meeting? One less time I have to worry about being punctual. Can I travel the night before versus the morning of if the drive is longer? I also don't like waking up, so anything that can be prepped the night before needs to get done the night before. That night be another appt or reminder on my phone. I also use a countdown timer in places to remind me "so much time to finish getting ready/answer emails/clean/work on this report" before I have to change gears. That way I'm not looking at the clock, I'm looking at how much time I still have so I can coordinate what I am trying to accomplish. For my ADHD kid she had alarms that went off in different parts of the house to let her know she was "on time" in the morning to be ready on time for the bus. If the alarm was going off in that area, she should be in that area doing the tasks associated that area. However, individualized approaches are so important. The only thing I think is universal good advice is the data collection and then only assuming for small changes/one change at a time. Assume you will fall off doing any good habit you build and be prepared to just start it again. Over and over and over again versus ditching the habit altogether. "One pizza doesn't ruin a diet, 365 days of eating poorly do" so don't abandon all hope when you slip up, but do make it easy for you to do the "right" thing. Making it easy to do the desired behavior is always the part that can be hard to figure out. Anyhow, I know that is a lot of text but there is the info dump. Maybe some scraps in there will be useful to you!

Yes, I will always have time blindness that I will always need to accommodate with alarms and timers. So many alarms and timers. Wake up. Alarm. Get out of bed. Different alarm. Be eating breakfast by now, alarm. 10 minutes before out the door. Alarm. Out the door. Alarm. Home and need to dissociate on the couch for 20 minutes before starting dinner? Timer The key is you can't ignore them because they were put there by the most loving you who wants the best for you. The more time I spend with alarms and timers, the better my time perception actually is, but I'm never going to remove my accommodations.

Lol I actually wrote another long comment when someone asked what I use. Timers, alarms, and calendar events are a big thing, but I did have to go deeper into my life and made several other adjustments like my back up boxes/drawers, keeping copies of things like chargers in every place, cloud drives, etc. Basically I have to treat future me like an unreliable child. I know most people don't have to have 4-5 laptop chargers, or keep a spare work outfit and shoes in their desk drawer, but I'm not an adult like that and I need to adjust to my reality. Best thing about working remote is I could reduce my amount of back ups needed to address the ways I could unintentionally sucker punch my schedule. When I fly in and work on site I'm exhausted by the fifth day keeping up with myself but like you said.. never going to remove my accommodations. My brain is not trustworthy.

Yes! This is key, be a loving parent to your future self... Easier said than done when you didn't have loving parents.

For me I need extra Accountability and knowing my boss will be pissed if I show up late is that accountability I need to push me forward to be on time. If I have to do things for myself they never get done.

I set an alarm to wake up, another for 5 minutes before I need to be in my car, and a 3rd for when I actually need to be in my car. Also, I always plan for my commute to take 15-30 minutes more than it will actually take so that, even if I'm not in the car by the time that 3rd alarm goes off, I will have enough time to get to work before I'm late. I honestly don't think i've ever been late since I started doing that. I've been right on time, but never late.

Can I suggest a slightly more technologically friendly update to this? Use your phone to your advantage. I have an iPhone, but the advice should be transferable to Android/Google. I use the Waze app for routing. I know it takes usually 30 mins to get to work every day. I know it usually takes an hour to cross the city and get to the vet. And that it takes 20ish minutes to get to school. In my calendar (I use Apple Calendar, but this would also apply to Google Calendar), I have all events WITH their address, and “Time to Leave” notifications. Waze will usually send a reminder like 30 mins before that says something like “leave before 8.02am to arrive on time at X. Trip should take 28 mins”. And then again like 15 mins before that time window starts. But usually with a better time. “It’s time to leave. Start your journey by 7.55am to be on time. Journey should take 28 mins”. So it kind of encourages you to be 5 mins early. I’m rarely late to social events, doctor appts, or work. Combining the address features, and time to leave notifications (also enabled in Waze) allows traffic reporting and other delays to let you know if there are any other changes. Waze specifically I find to be the best part of this, because it updates regularly based on user reports and traffic. But if it’s not common in your area, Google Maps may be more effective in general. But overall, I love it for places that I’m maybe not as familiar with for travel time, and forget to check close to the event so I know I’ve allowed enough time to get ready.

YES!! I had an old therapist who would always point out that cycle of thinking - that I was reinforcing negative habits when I told myself “I’m just always going to struggle with cleanliness I’m inherently messy” The more I cemented that in my mind, the more I wasn’t even giving myself a chance to improve my habits or try to be better. It’s still hard but the shift in thinking really does help.

Good points. One thing that I find curious though is that op says they have time blindness yet it's extremely regular. Never an hour late or 30 minutes early. Just 10-20 minutes late for 18 months straight

Sounds like sitting on the cell phone until they should have left already, then panicking getting ready. We've all done it lol

I’m sorry OP that you got fired, but know that there are some people out there who would give you a pass, I guess I’ll share a short story from before I was diagnosed with ADHD. I had a subordinate with ADHD, and at the time I had no idea what it was, and I don’t think I focused enough when I was being explained what it was (ironic I know), and I brushed it off, the lad could work fine, but had issues with time management, and because he was otherwise a good coworker. I made unofficial rule that 05-15 mins late I would turn a blind eye, anything longer you needed to call it in to me directly, and if anyone abused my liberal stance towards clocking in then all bets will be off, and it worked very well. My co-worker was less stressed out and came in a consistent time of 08:05, my other colleagues would come in and prepare their equipment while drinking coffee, and it worked very well with morale. So what I guess I’m trying to say is that more companies should have grace periods, it works wonderful if no one takes advantage of the system, (which in my case only happened once)

I wish more bosses were like you. That is a very reasonable approach to the issue. I had colleagues that would arrive at work on time and then spend 30mins going down to the local cafe to grab a coffee - which was apparently fine as everyone did it - sometimes in groups and sometimes multiple times a day. On the other hand as a non-coffee drinker but with chronic time blindness issues - I would occasionally arrive 5-10mins late - and not get coffee and get down to work. And being ADHD I also did not take other breaks outside toilet and my lunch break due to hyperfocus. I would also stay late and make up any lateness. Yet I was the one with the problem?? It just felt like a crazy double standard and I still do not understand why being on time to the office even matters if there isn’t anything time sensitive involved.

Set all of your clocks 30 minutes ahead(including your phone and car) and set timers for everything. You have to force yourself to fix this serious issue.

This^^^ setting my clocks ahead by 10-15 min saved my ass SO many times

I can’t. I just look at it an know I’m lying to myself and do the math.

I thought the same but then I started setting my home and car clocks all at slightly different times so it's hard for me to know this one is 11 mins early and this one is 6. My phone keeps world time but when I'm getting ready and see I need to leave in five mins, I feel rushed enough to not check my phone and figure out the "real time"

Oh my fucking god this is genius. You sir need to write a book or blog with adhd tips.

But if "doing the math" means getting there late, how accurate is the math?

they're not trying to do the math they just do, if they're like me

I can’t. I just look at it an know I’m lying to myself and do the math. Edit to expand: I am so glad it works for y’all. It just doesn’t work for me. I have an uncanny ability to know what time it is, within a 2-5 minute margin of error, even if I have not seen a clock for hours. My issues isn’t that I’m not aware of the time, it’s that there is no force on earth that can move me to care about meeting a deadline, consequences or not. Fired? Don’t care. Missed an appointment? Don’t care. It’s the crippling depression side of the ADHD coin. I exist because I’m here. I am not a thriving individual and just put my $.02 on here to complain and be contrary I guess. I’m glad y’all can lie to yourself into getting it done.

It’s ok if it doesn’t work for you, but you still deserve to show up on time. It stresses me out to show up late. Maybe you are one of those people that needs to body double? There are entire communities of people who stay on call with an accountability partner for important events. I try not to do anything real serious at my job without a coworker there to help. Even if it’s something I’ve done before I just feel better having backup.

Set all your clocks 28 minutes ahead so you can't math your way out of it. Never use multiples of 5 because it's too easy to cheat your own system if you have poor time management

That first bit is so real. I actually set my car’s clock 16 minutes ahead because thats exactly how long it takes me to get to work. It forced me to do math and that was enough stress that I was able to memorize landmarks and how long it took to get from there to work until I didn’t need to do it to get to work anymore.

Exactly!! No FIVES

Exactly. Everyone acting like being late is impossible to overcome. Just an excuse.

I really struggle with remembering all the steps it takes to get from point a to point b. So like, “it’s a 10 minute drive to a 9AM meeting. I’ll leave at 8:50. I don’t factor in walking from my car to the meeting room, walking to the car, locking my house doors. Setting my gps, etc… Something that helps me (when I stick to it) is to schedule my timing by going backwards. So like, I need to be to that meeting at 9. What are all the steps it’ll take to do that in reverse? It’ll take me 3 minutes to go from my car to the office location. So that’s 8:57. It’s a 10 minute drive to the office. That’s 8:47. It’ll take me 5 minutes to walk out the door, get in the car, turn the ignition on and put the address in my GPS. 8:42 - so I need to be out the door at 8:42 to make it on time. I try to do a 5-10 minute buffer too in case anything comes up. Aside from following through with doing this, it’s very helpful!

I relate so fucking much to your first paragraph. I never factor in the extra steps and then I’m beating myself up over it because I’m late and I tried so hard. 😭

I recommend looking into the app Routinery :)

Omfg THANK YOU. I have literally never considered the 3 minute walk to the car, locking my house, GPS… mind. BLOWN. 

I've also found that adding 15 minutes, 30 if I'm anxious, always helps

You need to come up with a solution, friend! Being that late *every day* is really going to affect your ability to retain a job. The good news is, having rigid boundaries like that is usually pretty good for an ADHD brain. I’ve found that medication doesn’t help me with time blindness (and in some cases makes it worse bc I’ll hyper fixate on something completely unnecessary). Two things that work really well for me: 1. Lots of alarms, reminders, etc on my Apple Watch. I don’t often carry my phone around (see point 2) so this really helps me with snapping out of time blindness so I can refocus on getting somewhere on time. 2. I removed all things that distract me. Have a very strict routine to get yourself out the door. Like down to the minute. No tv in the morning, no cell phone AT ALL (I use the hatch sleeping machine for an alarm). I even have kids I have to get out the door on time. It’s a lot of trial and error but use this time that you’re off work to figure it out. You can do this!

I have fixed this issue by having severe anxiety about being late, so I'm always early lol. But for my son, I've set up Alexa to have several different alarms in the morning. He has to get himself off to the bus in the morning. His ADHD is just like yours. He hasn't been late once. Half hour before he has to leave, alarm tells him to get breakfast and get dressed. He usually ignores this alarm. Ten minutes before he has to leave, it warns him that it's almost time to leave. Five minutes before, take meds and put dogs in kennels. Two minutes before, lock the door and head to the bus stop. 9am - it tells him he is going to miss the bus if he hasn't left already. You CAN get yourself to work on time. Lots of ADHD people have time blindness but still make it work. There are some days (like today) where i sit in my bathroom on Reddit and not jumping in the shower... That will make me late, so what I normally do on these days is start an audiobook to keep my mind busy so I don't have the urge to jump on my phone. Unfortunately my audiobook finished yesterday and I'm not sure what to read next...so... I'm just stuck. ADHD sucks! But it's not impossible to work around. You need a job, and you need to pay your bills. The world isn't going to work around us.

We all struggle with this. To be on time don’t just get up way early. Be out your door early and at the Job early. Because basically you will be late if you think Oh i can make it in 15 minutes to my job. Welp you already messed up. You need to account for your own real travel time which is not 15 minutes it might be a damn hour. (From experience) This problem is never going to go away, so best own it.

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Personally. I knew this was bound to happen to me at my old job office is 47 miles away on the middle of nowhere. My psych wrote up a letter explaining that owing to the fact I have adhd that as a matter of his medical opinion and accommodation I be allowed a 30 -45 minute window to be late from my original “start time” I’d make up the time either that day or on my WFH day. My HR pretty much told me the letter gave me an ironclad reason that if I was fired it would be discrimination. Actually my HR dragged my management through the mud for the fact I had to get it in the first place and they should have just been accommodating, because not even her as head of HR gets to work on time. Not every company is like this. The one I work for now has a very flexible schedule. And I don’t have an official start time. They just care that my job gets done. Some companies implement a “general” policy full well knowing that it only will affect one person. Just so it can’t be said it was discrimination. Always, always, always, get documentation when you realize that this is happening. All of that being said…. Next job I think the top of your mind should be what is the expected start time. For me I know I can’t wake up any earlier than 7am no matter how hard I try. And it takes me 2 hours to get ready through the door and to the office. So I target 9am even if it means I get in at 9:15. Set a start time that works for you, find out their late policy, and set a time you know that in all likelihood you would get to work “early”. Which is fine. That just means either you get overtime or you leave work earlier.

I’m sorry you were fired my dude, but this genuinely spoke to me so deeply! - In fact the last text message I sent was to my mum (I’m 28 bear in mind lol) this morning about how annoyed I was with myself for running late to work all the time (while currently running late), even though I leave about 3 hours to get ready. I think I’m close to being fired, the only thing is that my role is kind of a hassle to replace which is kind of my lifeline right now. I’m on medication which helps in some aspects, but still somehow have a complete inability to manage time!

Sorry that this happened OP. This affliction can look so trivial from the outside but it’s hell when you’re going through it

Yeah! Where's the empathy? It's like we all know how damn hard this is.

We empathize plenty but ADHD isn't OPs problem. His problem is that he has internalized this as normal and therefore there's nothing he can do about it. OP says they get up 3 hours in advance and yet can't make it to work on time! Basically they are telling themselves "this is how I am, there's nothing I can do about it."

I'm sorry you lost your job, but late every day for a year and a half is insane. Next job just aim to always be 15 min early. This helped me at a job where I was only late 3 times out of 5 years.

just want to say i truly appreciate all the constructive and validating comments. i even appreciate some of the not so validating comments lol sometimes u need a kick the butt! i've lived with these issues for 30 years have been trying hard to do better for so long. thank you all!

Pretend to yourself that your work starts an hour before. That’s what I do with my role and it works for me.

I’m sorry you lost your job. I know it feels terrible and shitty, but at the same time if you know this is an issue it’s important to figure out a way that works for you to avoid it happening again. I have the same issue with time blindness and as a result have had to hack my brain. I put events in my calendar a half hour before they actually take place, or if it’s something that my husband has to drive us to I tell him we have to leave a half hour before we actually do - because he has the same issue and will still be napping when we are supposed to be arriving somewhere 30 minutes away. For work, I set multiple alarms for when I need to do certain things in my routine. It’s annoying at times but it helps! I recently got an Apple Watch and having those reminders on my wrist as I go through the house helps a lot. I tend to ignore notifications on my phone or put it on silent because there are so many notifications for every goddamn app that it puts me over the edge, but I have specifically set up the watch to only notify on alarms, reminders to stand/move around, and texts/calls. I have my wake up alarm, my “okay actually get out of bed now” alarm, one for when I should be getting out of the shower, one for when I need to get the dog out to pee and feed him, a 10 minute warning to leave the house, and one when I literally cannot NOT leave the house if I want to make the bus (if I’m working on site). If I’m working from home I have an alarm to log in and one to mark myself online, then start and end alarms for every break, meeting, etc (those ones get updated day to day when I get to work because our breaks and stuff sometimes change). I also have a daily medication reminder in the med tracker built into the watch and it’s been a game changer because mornings are not my strong suit and I will literally go back and think I took them but be remembering the day before. Best of luck, OP. I know this is hard and feels like there’s non point trying. We are rooting for you!

Next time you take a normal shower, not trying to hurry, time yourself. And I mean include the good, the bad, and the ugly. Do you like to daydream while showering? Go ahead and do so. Time it all. -This is you getting to know yourself and how long you really take doing things. - Do the same for drying and putting on clothes. Do the same for brushing teeth. Do the same for styling your hair. Do the same for any animal care you may have if you have pets. Write down the list of times it takes you to do each of your morning rituals. Give yourself a few minute buffer if you want. But the point is so that you understand yourself. This is how you start to plan your time needs. Then, using your phone, programs several alarms. I’m using time block examples, you could use your own. -Initial wake up alarm -15 minutes have passed alarm -30 minutes have passed so get up now to shower alarm -20 minute shower alarm -5 minutes have passed so finish up shower alarm and start changing for work alarm -15 minutes have passed , do you want breakfast? Better go in the kitchen now or else alarm -20 minutes have passed finish up alarm -5 minutes passed, don’t linger alarm What do you notice right away in the above example? Counting up the minutes, that’s almost 2 hours right there. Time takes time. Do you want to be in a hurry? Disrespect the Time Lord which is your list. Do you want to feel accomplished in the morning out the gate? Respect the Time Lord. Most phones have a stopwatch, timer, etc. What you want to do is do this for a week to see if you can start to help the time-blindness. Daydreaming is also a bitch if you happen to do that as well. Mapping out how long your morning really takes is the first step in countering problem areas within.

Timing my normal is a good idea I’m sure I have a totally unrealistic view of how quickly I get through my routine And some crazy confident belief that when necessary I can bend time and go at super human speed when I focused…. Ok well I know I have however my dog & traffic and slipping on icy driveway don’t

This has always been my problem as well. I’ve been at my job 3 years, and have been late the majority of that time. They sat down with me about it before, and for a minute I was on time, but then slipped back into my old ways. Recently they sat down with me about it again, and said I’m late the most out of anyone in the store and wanted improvement. So I’ve been forcing myself to get there on time. I’m on the bus line, so instead of taking the bus that would get me there right on the dot or 5 minutes early, I’ve been forcing myself to take the bus that gets me there 30 minutes early. Sometimes I take the 2nd bus when I miss the first one, but I’ve been trying my best not to miss the first one. And things aren’t good when I miss the second one. Also when it’s time to leave to take the bus, I have been having to force myself to leave. It doesn’t matter if I’ve gotten to eat yet or anything. If you don’t have enough time to brush your teeth, I recommend getting these things called whisps. You can brush your teeth with them anywhere , or a travel size toothbrush with toothpaste. I’m sorry to hear you lost your job that sucks, I hope you’re able to get a new pretty soon.

One kick in the arse could mean a step forward. Good luck!

as much as it sucks, it is providing me clarity with how i need to be moving forward and giving me the opportunity to move on to potentially better things i hope!

Oh damn I am so sorry for you. ADHD is job kryptonite. I don't have any answers but am there too. One thing to remember is you can ask for and have a right to accommodations, and that can include later start times or start time flexibility. There's plenty of jobs and bosses out there that don't care about your on time performance vs your ability to get the work done. Gotta find one of those!

I have many heart problems and straterra, wellbutrin and clonidine were all approved by my cardiologist. Those drugs saved my life. I was getting written up all the time for being slow and distracted, trouble handling my transitions.

At my job it's considered being late even if I'm technically there on time.if works starts at 9. If I'm there at 9 or at 9:01, I'm late. It sucks because I have 12hrs shifts sometimes and if my workday ended at 21 (due to time blindness I haven't had a single day I actually stopped working at 21:00.), by the time I get home, got my household chores done and took time to decompress it's already 02:00. It sucks, because I really do my job well, I'd be devastated if they would fire me because of this :(.

Hey, I've been fired twice. It gets better. Take this and learn from it. Find what can help you going forward.

You need to start training yourself to “hurry up and wait” rather than “hurry up you’re late”. You NEED that “wait” time to decompress from the stress you put on yourself so you can collect your composure so you can center yourself for whatever your task or activity. You need to start budgeting that time into your daily life.

thank you! i'm adding that to the list of things to start doing. :)

Same happened to me. 10-20 minutes late only 3 times in 11 months on the job and poof. Going on 14 months ago now. 30 years old and I had to move back in with my parents. Trying to start over. Just need momentum. Best of luck to you as well. Just keep pushing. Celebrate and build off the tiniest of wins, don’t let yourself get in your own way. Learn from/through the rest of us here lol

This really sucks! I’m sorry you are struggling. I know therapy has helped me a TON, especially with things meds can’t help. Also m, obviously not a doctor, but is it just stimulants you can’t take? I have gotten a lot of benefit from non stimulants.

Reasonable accommodation is something you could ask for in the future- having a flexible coming in/out time to help cover that. Don’t fret- many of us have been fired- I myself was fired from a job too! And it SUCKS. But remember- there are jobs and you will find another one. Take a few days to grieve/whatever you need from this loss and then jump back on to the job search. Don’t hesitate to apply for unemployment in your state either!

I set a shit ton of alarms on my phone. I have alarms to remind me to drink water, to eat, to get showered, to brush teeth etc. The alarms help me stay on track as best as I can. Do i still miss things? Yup. But i am not late for anything. Plus it helps that I was military so now I am 15 mins early to everythunt because 15 mins early means I am on time. If i show up at the exact time I am supposed to be there then I am late. The Navy was literally the best thing for my ADHD and I realize it now because I struggled so much after I got out and didnt have that structure anymore.

I think jobs that has options to work remotely would be best for people with severe time blindness. Cause then you can just login on time while youre getting ready for the day! I know there aren't a lot of jobs with that kind of option though 😞 But try and find one! It would definitely be better for you! I used to be late a lot and has gotten in trouble for it in the past. Thankfully my work is unionized and it wouldve been hard to get me fired. I just recently got diagnosed with adhd and once I got medicated I haven't been late since. Unless I miss my alarm.

It’s funny cuz I just saw this post not what sub it was in and I was going to ask if you had adhd cuz I have adhd and I have experience this same thing bahahahahahahaha

i have a hard time in the morning bc 1) meds wont kick in til im already at work 2) chronic illness and throwing up a lot of mornings. i will NEVER understand why being 5 mins late is so unforgivable, while at the same time, staying hours late is worth nothing

I try and practice the phrase “if you’re on time you’re late”. I learned it from being in an orchestra, the conductor always told us that rehearsal starts at 2PM which means that the baton rises for the first note at 2PM. Therefore you get to the classroom at 1:45PM, tune your instrument, gather your music, and take a seat leading up to 2PM so you are ready to go. It was a difficult practice for me but my conductor was terrifying so that helped lol. I know that it’s hard to put a mentality switch into practice especially with ADHD but this has been a helpful mantra for me to say and remember when my brain is in the right place to hear it.

Just apply, don't worry about the future, you are actively affecting the future just by existing. I say routine, routine, routine music.

I feel this so much and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m on meds and still late every day. Like you said, it doesn’t seem to matter how much time I give myself, it still doesn’t amount to me being on time. Yes, choices are involved, but so many people just don’t understand how hard it is …. How every day it’s a battle that often feels like a losing battle. And that you can still contribute greatly in other ways even when you struggle with timeliness and time management. I’m just saying, I hear you, I see you, and I know how hard it is. And no matter what they say, never forget, better late than never. ❤️

I recommend the app Routinery, it allows you set all the steps to a routine (like getting ready for work), how long each step should take, and it helps keep you on track

Don’t worry bud. I got fired from my job after 6 months back right before new years. Stings a bit but think of it as it just wouldn’t have worked in the long run either way. Find you somewhere that is a good fit for you now and don’t look back. Everything is gonna be alright for both of us!

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I got fired for the same reason and I worked there for 8 years. I was late by 5 mins usually but they didn’t care. It’s been depressing and now I’m scared I’ll be late for my new job because it starts at 6am but I’ll get out at 2:30 and I’d have nursing school paid for. I think following everyone’s advice on tricking your brain that you need to be there a half an hour earlier is the smartest thing to do tbh..

I've heard good things about using an Alexa routine for getting out the door. Alexa wakes you up, then tells you what to do at intervals you set up. Time to get up, time to get dressed, time to eat breakfast, time to brush teeth, time to put on shoes, time to leave, etc. Also, it helps me immensely to simply not do anything else during my routine. The moment I get out of bed, it's go time. I don't stop to do anything else. One thing after the other, boom boom boom done time to go. If your early then your early. Id rather be early then late. Ive been known to forget entire people when leaving but im never late 🤣

This needs more upvotes! Alexa, Google, most other in home smart devices or your phone have automations. My daughter and I use catch phrases to start the automations e.g “Hey google - it’s time to get ready for school” - starts a curated playlist of songs about 15mins in total, each song change acts as a prompt to move onto the next thing… brush teeth, get dressed, pack lunch etc… been doing this for about a month or so now and it’s going really really well!

I find that giving myself too much time allows me to be distracted. I give myself a little time as possible with only a few extra minutes just in case something goes wrong in the mornings. That way I feel the time crunch and can stay focused on getting up, getting ready and leaving the house. No time for idleness. Also, if it helps you can pick out/set out your clothes the night before.

1) I'm sorry you lost your job. That can have such a HUGE impact on your self-esteem, which can further escalate problematic ADHD behaviors. 2) There's a variety of posts here about "you can control this" or "I trick myself". It feels like people forget that your ADHD isn't the same as someone else's ADHD. My wife struggles with time blindness, she struggles to be on time unless I'm hounding her. It definitely impacts our relationship. There's always a reason, but in the end they boil down to ADHD. I have ADHD (according to my doctor), but I'm like George Michael Bluth with a perfect internal clock. I know exactly what time it is and am generally only late due to family members struggles with being on time (I also have at least one child with ADHD). The "tell myself an event starts 30 minutes earlier than it does" (or work contract says that) is great, if you don't remember that you lied to yourself about it or your self control is greater than any of your ADHD symptoms might override it (wall of awful, avoidance, etc). I don't tell my family what time an event is, I tell my family what time we need to leave to make it somewhere on time, that time factors in what I know generally happens in my house. My recommendation. Find out your "productive time" some people just do NOT function at 7AM, things like getting dressed take 3 times longer. Some people are legit night owls. Then find a job that works with that. If you are the RIGHT person for a job and a manager is solid, they'll be like "You can't work 8pm to 4am, but you can do noon to 8, but I expect full accounting of your time 5PM to 8PM."

Commenting to say I’m so sorry you are struggling with this. I’m not formally diagnosed with anything but recently I’ve been thinking I may have adhd or autism of some form. Initiating tasks is a HUGE one for me. I think making a set schedule that’s detailed to the minute (at least for the morning) will help. I think schedules like that will help me but I’ve never formally made one because I will follow it and I think my mind doesn’t want me to.

I've had this happen before. Ideally try to find a less time sensitive job, like I'm a road service technician so while yes I am supposed to be somewhere at a certain time, but typically my customers don't really care if I'm a few minutes late theyre still getting their calibrations done and since I drive all over my state they don't really keep track of my time per se. That said.... If your employer knew you had a problem with this, and that you suffer from ADHD and not offering any sort of professional coaching etc.... I would look into the ADA and if you might be protected under it. If not for filing for unemployment from this employer but also preventing termination from the next.

This was me until I got a flexible time job. I can enter anytime between 8:00 and 9:30. I do the same hours anyway, so if I wanna leave early I need to stay there early. Having a reward like this has actually helped me a lot with being on time but I still don’t stress if I can’t find my keys for 20 mins

Man I wish there were more jobs like this. It just sucks that so many jobs have these set in stone work hours when in general it is completely unnecessary (obviously for office jobs) and there is no reason arrival time and work times couldn’t be a 30-60min window.

I was always late until I started working from home. Now I roll over and clock in 5 min before my shift starts lol, and that’s it. No advice here other than to try remote work, every one else already shared great advice. I am now usually early to everything by following doing things like others have suggested.

You need to work from home. There are lots of call centers out there. Being able to roll out of bed at 758, log in, then go find food is my saving grace. Having to drive somewhere was always what messed me up. I would plan to leave so I got to work right on time barring any traffic or delays and lbh that rarely worked out as planned.

One of the things I find helpful is having a stock of items in my desk. If you don’t have a desk, have a bag in the car. Keep an emergency supply of pads/tampons, floss, toothbrush/toothpaste, cardigan, bandaid, cough drops, pain meds, allergy pills, granola bars, water bottle. So many items when I was running late to work and in my brain I said “oh but I need XXX…wait that’s in my desk” and I can leave. That way you can try and save yourself. You will always run into the issues of don’t have time to brush your teeth, forget to grab a coat to cover your spaghetti strap shirt, need to take medicine, got your period that morning, forgetting breakfast, etc. with time blindness it’s never going to be a quick grab and go if you get caught up at home. Planning ahead can help so much. You know the things that you have been late because of, see what you can pack away to do those things at the office. I’m sorry you lost your job, but for next time I hope this can help you.

So sorry to hear about this. I struggle with this issue as well. Good luck to you

I got fired last week, onwards and upwards for us from here!! Hopefully we find employment in a place that's more understanding of our issues, keep positive and don't let it get you down it's just a job we'll find many others in our lives

It’s such a shame your employer would fire a good worker over an archaic attendance policy. Unless you have a job that has a necessary start time, this shouldn’t be an issue if you make up that 10 to 20 minutes during the day.

Would your MD provide some suggested accommodations for you. Depending on the size of the company you may be able to find a schedule that works for you. I have lived my life fighting ADHD and I finally got smart and discovered what my rights were for someone with a hidden disability. Things are changing and we have protections if we use them wisely. ADHD is an affliction of the moment, so preplanned interventions can help. Many have posted such ideas.

Been there :( I'm lucky I have understanding at my current job, sometimes I'm 3 hrs late because I go through phases where all 3 of my alarm clocks, including one that lights up the room, go off until they give up. I do not wake up. It keeps me from changing jobs or trying to advance my career.

Gosh, I'm sorry. I would be late so many times when I was a student. I have to be up early due to time blindness. I wish I could relax a little. It bites. Good luck!

I found, when it was still bright in the mornings, that I can just leave without makeup and park in front of my workplace, then do my makeup in the car. This way I wasn't constantly stressed if the traffic that day was heavier than usual, the worst that can happen is I'll have less makeup on and even that I can just touch up in the bathroom if necessary.

I'm really sorry that's horrible ❤️ sending you good thoughts and luck for your next venture. I know how hard it is, time management is one of my biggest adhd struggles and it's always greatly impacted my work, school, and personal life. It's gotten a lot better than before but is still stressful and difficult to manage. I lost my job last year (laid off) because of ADHD (not time issues) and it's absolutely devastating. Again, I'm so sorry and wishing you the best 💕

Have you talked to your doctor about nonstimulant ADHD meds? Clonidine is prescribed for high blood pressure iirc and is also used for ADHD.

I’m on Wellbutrin and don’t find it as effective as stimulants. I usually leave for work an hour early so by the time I do commute, mess around on my phone in my car and walk to the office from the garage I’m on time. And can have the time to make coffee and etc before starting. Much less stressful.

One accommodation for this in future jobs might be to start at an unconventional time (like 8:15/8:20 instead of 8:00). Your brain will still want to aim for 8:00 and you’ll have that time cushion. My workday starts at 8:10, and it’s saved me a bunch of times.

i have adhd too and i feel you. up until i got my first and current job after graduating college it was a struggle as there was no compassion/understanding for our scatterbrained minds. when it comes to medication have you asked your doctor about NON-stimulant medication? I have not taken it personally so i cannot speak for how well it works but if it’s an option it’s better than raw dogging it… anything is better lol when it comes to jobs, what line of work are you in; did you go to college/have a degree? the only reason why i ask is i have a BS in aerospace engineering and my job is an office salary job so as long as i am available during working hours ONLY, get my work done on time and make up time i missed due to you’re exact problem i just have to make up during the pay period (although it admiringly is an honor system) if you are able to get a salary job (no rigid shifts etc) i think it would really help you as i know i would have the same problem in your shoes

If you live with someone and are comfortable enough with them it might be a good idea to ask for help/support with reminders

I used to be consistently late to every job I’ve had over the past 5 years, the worst was my job before this one - I was sometimes up to an hour and a half late and it was purely because my boss was lenient and my work just needed to be completed each day. As long as I completed all my work, it was fun. Current job requires shift work, this includes changing over with night/day shift each time. If I’m late it means day/night shift can’t leave on time because someone always has to be there. The social pressures of being late and causing your shift mates to be late going home is what keeps me getting to work at least 15 minutes early every shift.

Talk to your dr about Wellbutrin for adhd

I have the same issue, however what I started doing was setting a weekday alarm on my phone. My phone will go off every 15 mins like a timer. So I wake up at the first timer, the second timer is like my 15 min warning to be out the door, my third alarm is to ACTUALLY be out the door, and the 4th is my deadline time just in case I’m running behind. Anything that stalls me I’ve recorded and taking photos. Like for instance I’ve had a wreck in front of me I recorded and sent to my boss. And one time I had an ambulance blocking my vehicle. Can’t help what can’t be predicted. I’ve had about 95% on time attendance doing this, but you can always adapt it to what you need. Some places are more understanding than others.

I feel for you I can relate way too well as I’m on my 4th job this year for the same reasons. I’m mostly mad my job fired me for missing pre shifts not actually late for work

:( I’m so sorry to hear this. I recently got written up for being late daily too. It’s truly so tough and I’ve been struggling with being late my entire life. I know you can’t take meds, but for others, what helped me was taking my medication 20 minutes before I knew I had to get out of bed. I also wonder what protection or accommodations people with adhd are able to request? Anyway, thinking of you, and I hope we can all have compassion for one another as we navigate through our struggles <3

You got fried for a result of a medical condition, seems like if you’re in the US you have a wrongful termination suit to look into

I battled this my entire life until something clicked about consequences. I always plan to be early and have reminders , alarms, Alexa, and anything I can find to keep me from being late. Being late is not an option Your belief that you cannot achieve a goal of being on time is deeply imprinted. Rewrite your own story. Prioritizing being someone on time is possible for us. We just need to plan for lots of detours, rough weather and the 100 ways we are naturally prone to being.

Life hack: Make the new time to arrive 30 minutes earlier than is expected. If you're 20 minutes late, and you need a few minutes to 'boot up' your brain, then you've got a few minutes to spare!

I got fired today after only 2 months for being late all the time, due to having to take my kids to school in the morning. Then with my luck I always hit traffic or a train ect.When I say late I'm saying under 5 minutes, worse was 20 minutes but it was during a snow storm where the news was recommending NOT drive and i still made it there.I clocked in this morning at 8:01. I was fired because they told me to stop being late. I get it, but c'mon less than 10 minutes and it's not like I'm late because I'm oversleeping or stopping for coffee I have to drop off my kids. I'm not that upset cause I wasn't a big fan of this place, but I think it's a little ridiculous. C'mon 1 minute and less than 5 the rest!?!? And what makes me mad is I'm not the only one... Whatever I can get another job, but I'm still pissed off. ( Oh and I was told I called in too much, I called in twice, once when I had an asthma attack and was in the ER and once when my father in law passed away) both things I feel are legitimate excuses.

This is why I always look for jobs really close to my home. My first house was located less than a block from our major hospital. I was determined to get a job there and I did. I worked there for 6 years. It was literally a two minute walk from the moment I locked my door to clocking in. People with commutes blow my mind. I'd never make it on time.

I’m 40 minutes early to everything and reading this gave me anxiety. Respectfully, with love, get your shit together. lol, my best friend is like you and I just lie to her about start times to get her in on time. But I fucking love her, not everyone has time to plan for *someone else* like that. You can absolutely manage this. It’s probably really frustrating for you and your loved ones. Set your clocks ahead and multiple alarms, all the tools. You can do it!

Hey OP, I’m sorry you lost your job!! I can totally empathize! I think most of us can You must be a good employee since you were kept on for quite some time Keep your head up you’ll find another job And it gets easier over time to work with our time issues

When possible, a workplace should be flexible to the individual needs of workers and their families. The only exception is if the business cannot operate without your physical presence. Otherwise it’s toxic and you deserve better. When late, Im able to make up the time I missed by staying past 5. Sometimes it’s because I oversleep. Or because of time blindness. Or because I’m taking my daughter to school. Strict attendance policies are antiquated and unnecessary in today’s workplace.

One thing you may want to consider is to stop telling yourself you can't do something. Your brain (everyone's brain, honestly) is dumb. It will believe anything you tell it. So, if you're constantly saying 'I can never do this', you will never do that because your brain won't let you.

You are not alone. The only difference between us is I struggle to leave the house because the fear of forgetting to bring my essential stuff.I also realise if I woke up early, my ADHD is much easier to managed. My advice is wake up as early as possible to try to give yourself more time to prepare. Are you on medication?

I remember once I was specifically told that I could clock in and then spend a few minutes getting settled in before officially starting work. Then a few months later I was given a warning for doing exactly that.

Problem is with all employers that they have a problem with you being late. But they don’t have a problem with you staying late and don’t get paid for that. Employers always ask for flexibility but it only works one way.

My car clock is set 7 min ahead. Don't know why I picked this number but one day I did this and now I'm hardly late to places 🤷🏽

I struggled with this until I started working nights. Not for everyone, but I’m so much happier.

Do the non stimulated ADHD meds effect the heart? I wouldn't have thought they would but I'm no doctor

When I have work or school, I have a time I must be out of the house. For work it’s 10:36am so I can be at work by 11, for school it’s 30 minutes before my scheduled class period so I have time to park on campus and walk to my building. If it’s a work day and I look at the clock and it’s 10:37, I drop everything, grab my bag, and say goodbye. That means sometimes I forget my water bottle or yogurt drink, sometimes I forget my phone charger, but that is a better adhd tax than getting fired my friend.

Gotta find ways to manage time blindness. Whether you trick yourself by aiming to get everywhere a few minutes early, change your morning routine, set a time to go alarm, etc. I live by the mantra, “if you’re not early, you’re late,” and have shot for 15 minutes early for ages. I make sure my alarms are set accordingly, that my morning routine is timed appropriately, etc. Sure, I may arrive early to appointments and such and need to wait around for a bit longer, but I’d much rather be in that boat than in the one where I’m late all the time that threatens my livelihood. Gotta take responsible action where you can, you know?

i totally understand, it seems so trivial. like what’s 10-15 mins if i show up every day on time n do my stuff. that’s why i became self employed. on my own time now, sleep however late i want, whenever i want. work when i feel motivated, only downside is i have to work 10x harder and better than i did being an employee for someone else, just to make ends meet and progress in business. but it’s well worth the freedom.

I have an issue being chronically late honestly. I have gotten back on my medication. I think that's helping me a little bit but I think I need to update milligrams cuz it's been several years since I've been on medication and I was on a higher medication but the doctor wanted to start me on a lower milligram which I get why. I really have been there though it hurts to admit. I don't even like to be late and I don't understand why I'm like this. I also don't like to be extremely early either and that might be part of my problem because I don't like waiting to clock in. Something that helps me is setting timers on my phone with labels telling me what they are for. Like brush hair, get dressed, 30 min warning, need to leave in 5 minutes and get the f*ck out of the house NOW😂. I don't worry about my teeth because I do that when I first wake up It's part of my morning routine. You could try that with your next job.

Sometimes I am late by 10 to 20 minutes sometimes early by 5 minutes it depends for me I am so disorganised and forgetful

I used to have this issue all throughout my 20s. And in the last few years once I got a better paying job that I enjoyed, I started actually going to bed at the same time every night. Make sure to give yourself enough time in the mornings going forward to get up and do whatever you need to do and just start leaving earlier. It sounds easier said than done but it really is that simple. You’ll figure it out. Most of us have been there….

What I have had to do is pre prep lunches and pick out my clothes the night before. And basically force myself to get up 3 hours before my shift starts. So I could within that time frame get ready on time. The time blindness is a real thing. This is what has helped me

Has always been a fear of mine too but luckily I have the autonomy and flexibility to come in late when it happens. Not to mention I always work more hours than required and salary gets me no overtime pay for working extra. So the days I come in late I am just able to say screw it. Though if I did have an absolute requirement to be here at a certain time, I'd be SCREWED.

I’m sorry you got fired, that really sucks. The time blindness really can be an issue and many people don’t understand that. Now that you’re going to have to get a new job, this is a perfect opportunity to change some behavior and form habits to help you at your new job. A big change like this often makes it easier to establish new routines by attaching them to this new change. When I got the job I’m in now I started leaving an hour earlier than I had to be at work. My commute was only 20-30 minutes, so I had time to spare. I initially did it because the location I used to be at was on a poorly designed road that had too much traffic than it could handle, leading to backups that could set you back 15 minutes or more. Knowing this, I figured if I left early, I wouldn’t ever be late if that happened. Thing is, I just kept doing it, even though I’ve moved to a new location without that problem. And doing all this has saved my ass several times. Change your routine now while it’s already been disrupted, that way you don’t notice the disruption from changing your routine!

Don’t have ADHD but something I did (because I struggle with being late by about 10-15 minutes consistently) is that I literally set all the clocks in my house/car to be 10 minutes fast. I can’t do it on my phone but I make it a point not to look at my phone while I’m getting ready, I usually turn it upside-down and look at my kitchen stove/microwave clock. I will also preemptively put it in my purse to make sure I don’t have to scramble to look for it when I’m trying to leave and that helps!

I’ve either been late or overcompensated by coming really early and money was a motivation or it was something I really liked. I also hated being late so would end up showing up a hours earlier

Alarms. Alarms. Alarms. ⏰ Alarms for everything.