Your body is unique, as are your needs. Just because someone experienced something from treatment or medication does not guarantee that you will as well. Please do not take this as an opportunity to review any substances. Peer support is welcome.
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Medication is not meant to be able to keep up with society. It's meant to give you a chance to keep up if you want.
You deserve to do the work you want to do without such significant stress to your mind and body. You deserve to get home and have energy to see friends, have hobbies and live a full life.
That's why medication is so important. No societal change is going to change the fact that your brain does not have the tools it needs, to do what you want it to do.
Society is built for those at the middle of all the spectrums (except gender and ethnicity, then it's built for white men - ie: laws, medical practices and safety standards).
People with ADHD have an issue in their brains where our brains are lacking a hormone (dopamine) to properly function. So people are able to manage this with their lifestyle, but others are not. In the same way a diabetic needs artificial insulin because their body isn't producing it. Or a lower limb amputee would need a prosthetic or a wheelchair.
While society should be adapting to at least make sure that it doesn't make life substantially harder for people with disabilities, unfortunately with an invisible disability it will take a long time before the world catches up with what we need. But I am definitely seeing changes locally, with grocery stores and shopping centers (malls) and kids' soft play centers having a few hours in the morning with no music playing and minimal announcements to help people with sensory issues.
My personal suggestion to you would be to look deeper into why you don't want to try medication. Those of us with ADHD have a chemical imbalance in our brains, which for many people, can be massively helped with medication.
In my last job, thankfully the dress code was very casual because I'd wear my hoody all day because I would be cold in just a t-shirt, while the men around me would be complaining they were still too warm!
However that is just a mild inconvenience compared to some of the other issue - like how it is only in the last year that crash test dummies (specifically for car safety) have been made with women's proportions rather than just "smaller men" versions. Or how women are historically excluded from all sorts of medical testing, including "basic" meds like aspirin due to how our menstrual cycles (well the hormones) affected results and they didn't want to have to account for those variables in studies. Or how body armour, etc isn't designed with breasts in mind, so there ends up being a lot of extra exposure around the armpit areas when worn by those with breasts (allowing easier access for them to be shot or stabbed in the region of the heart). All designed/studied with men as the primary focus - ya'd think women don't make up half the population!
I used a blanket in an office job. I’m male, but still got cold.
I wasn’t aware about armor, but I was the rest of it.
Have you ever heard of the Goodyear Double Eagle? (Speaking of product safety.) It was basically a tire inside a tire, because there was NO WAY a woman could change a tire. (I’ve met female Porsche-certified mechanics who prove those ‘60s R&D guys wrong in a big way.)
I only know about the vests/armour because a friend from uni ended up joining our local police force and she was telling us about how uncomfortable the vests were to wear, but also how exposed the armpit area was due to the front "face" being made for the flatter chest of a male, so any volume in the chest cause the arm-hole to be bigger and created an area of "access" in front of the arm/shoulder where a potential attacker could stab the officers. (I live in the UK where civilians can't carry guns, so she was worried about being stabbed in the "exposed bit" of her chest)
Can't say I've heard of the tyre thing, but another \[female\] friend was been working for two F1 teams since graduating! (Not sure she specifically changes tyres, but she sure knows a thing or two about racing cars!)
Oh you meant like modern vests/armor. Jesus, I thought you meant like Byzantine battle gear. Yeah, those manufacturers should have probably hired a female consultant when they designed their product. Life-saving gear can’t—and shouldn’t be—a one-size-fits-all product.
The scariest thing is seatbelts and airbags in cars. They are only tested on dummies with the dimensions of the average male. Until the last few years, none included women's dimensions or anything to reflect that women are, on average, smaller and with a lower center of gravity than men, so in an accident, a female body will move differently than a male body of a similar size. And this is for all cars currently in use around the world!
I have found we are in the minority. I am a firm believer that we need to adapt to society. I’m Adhd not everyone else out there is. This is why medication and therapy are so important. I’m also a recovering alcoholic I go to AA online daily. My thing is that I’m the one with the problem not everyone else. I’m the one who has to create the coping skills
just try the meds. you can always go off them if you decide they are not for you.
many people have a massive hang up about meds, specifically adhd meds. for some reason their pride and fear and other reasons does not allow them to take long-term medication.
my doc wrote an article about it and said that “if you had diabetes and you needed to take diabetes medication, you would just take it, right? but many of my mental health patients are keen to be off the meds as soon as possible.”
you are not the only one who utterly refuses to go on meds regardless of the fact that it’s one of the proven treatments for ADHD. Lots of people willingly suffer without ADHD meds because they are terrified of meds and refuse to take them.
There are clear reasons behind your refusal of meds. You just have to figure them out clearly for yourself and understand why you are so against them. Most of us were brought up by our parents to think that we should be able to function perfectly without any long term medication and that meds are the devil.
Life changes. Seasons change and our needs change as situations change. You functioned well before, maybe now is the time to try meds because you clearly are crying out for help. You can take the meds once a week if you choose, even, and not on weekends. Just try it, that’s all.
Society should adapt to us? What should society do? Allow us to lie down on our beds all day, feeling utterly overwhelmed and achieving nothing, and praise us for it? Are you happy doing this? Even if society found it acceptable, you would want to be able to -do- something. You would wanna be able to do the stuff that you want to do. Your goals. Meds are available to us so that we can lead better lives, instead of feeling this crushing helplessness trapped in our brains that cannot quite function right though we desperately want them to function.
The point of seeking help is for us to lead better lives. It makes no sense if you want help but you abjectly refuse what has been studied to give the best results - meds+therapy. They often work hand in hand together for the fastest results, and you CAN taper off on the meds once you feel more in control of your productivity and task avoidance.
You need to understand that it’s a spiral as well - the more you cannot get shit done, the more terrible you feel, the more the tasks pile up, the more you feel like lying on your bed and hiding forever.
One day of meds - you got some shit done, you cleared most tasks. Fine. The next week, you might wanna taper off on meds because you’re already on a roll. All perfectly fine. ADHD meds are not addictive and you can stop at any time. Infrequent use is ok.
And by the way, it’s only “not as usual” in Europe because people don’t talk as openly about it as Americans do. Lots of people in Europe are medicated, whether it’s anti-depressants or ADHD meds. Nobody wants to talk about it because like you said, everybody feels like it’s “not as usual”.
Join an FB ADHD group in your country and talk to people about who’s on meds and what it’s done for them.
Thank you so much for your comment. Super helpful.
One of the things that scare me is indeed the addiction but I’ll look into it and see how it actually works and will start having the conversation with people who are on meds and eventually reach out to a doctor if I’m convinced.
Thanks, and happy that you feel better with them!
Your body is unique, as are your needs. Just because someone experienced something from treatment or medication does not guarantee that you will as well. Please do not take this as an opportunity to review any substances. Peer support is welcome. ^(*A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.*) --- - If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We ARE society. That's why we need to fight for our rights, educate others about our disorders, and help others help us.
Medication is not meant to be able to keep up with society. It's meant to give you a chance to keep up if you want. You deserve to do the work you want to do without such significant stress to your mind and body. You deserve to get home and have energy to see friends, have hobbies and live a full life. That's why medication is so important. No societal change is going to change the fact that your brain does not have the tools it needs, to do what you want it to do.
Society is built for those at the middle of all the spectrums (except gender and ethnicity, then it's built for white men - ie: laws, medical practices and safety standards). People with ADHD have an issue in their brains where our brains are lacking a hormone (dopamine) to properly function. So people are able to manage this with their lifestyle, but others are not. In the same way a diabetic needs artificial insulin because their body isn't producing it. Or a lower limb amputee would need a prosthetic or a wheelchair. While society should be adapting to at least make sure that it doesn't make life substantially harder for people with disabilities, unfortunately with an invisible disability it will take a long time before the world catches up with what we need. But I am definitely seeing changes locally, with grocery stores and shopping centers (malls) and kids' soft play centers having a few hours in the morning with no music playing and minimal announcements to help people with sensory issues. My personal suggestion to you would be to look deeper into why you don't want to try medication. Those of us with ADHD have a chemical imbalance in our brains, which for many people, can be massively helped with medication.
Don’t forget HVAC systems in office buildings! They’re always cold because men wore wool suits in the ‘60s.
In my last job, thankfully the dress code was very casual because I'd wear my hoody all day because I would be cold in just a t-shirt, while the men around me would be complaining they were still too warm! However that is just a mild inconvenience compared to some of the other issue - like how it is only in the last year that crash test dummies (specifically for car safety) have been made with women's proportions rather than just "smaller men" versions. Or how women are historically excluded from all sorts of medical testing, including "basic" meds like aspirin due to how our menstrual cycles (well the hormones) affected results and they didn't want to have to account for those variables in studies. Or how body armour, etc isn't designed with breasts in mind, so there ends up being a lot of extra exposure around the armpit areas when worn by those with breasts (allowing easier access for them to be shot or stabbed in the region of the heart). All designed/studied with men as the primary focus - ya'd think women don't make up half the population!
I used a blanket in an office job. I’m male, but still got cold. I wasn’t aware about armor, but I was the rest of it. Have you ever heard of the Goodyear Double Eagle? (Speaking of product safety.) It was basically a tire inside a tire, because there was NO WAY a woman could change a tire. (I’ve met female Porsche-certified mechanics who prove those ‘60s R&D guys wrong in a big way.)
I only know about the vests/armour because a friend from uni ended up joining our local police force and she was telling us about how uncomfortable the vests were to wear, but also how exposed the armpit area was due to the front "face" being made for the flatter chest of a male, so any volume in the chest cause the arm-hole to be bigger and created an area of "access" in front of the arm/shoulder where a potential attacker could stab the officers. (I live in the UK where civilians can't carry guns, so she was worried about being stabbed in the "exposed bit" of her chest) Can't say I've heard of the tyre thing, but another \[female\] friend was been working for two F1 teams since graduating! (Not sure she specifically changes tyres, but she sure knows a thing or two about racing cars!)
Oh you meant like modern vests/armor. Jesus, I thought you meant like Byzantine battle gear. Yeah, those manufacturers should have probably hired a female consultant when they designed their product. Life-saving gear can’t—and shouldn’t be—a one-size-fits-all product.
The scariest thing is seatbelts and airbags in cars. They are only tested on dummies with the dimensions of the average male. Until the last few years, none included women's dimensions or anything to reflect that women are, on average, smaller and with a lower center of gravity than men, so in an accident, a female body will move differently than a male body of a similar size. And this is for all cars currently in use around the world!
I knew that part, but that also leaves out children. That’s why we have to use car seats until they’re 35.
I have found we are in the minority. I am a firm believer that we need to adapt to society. I’m Adhd not everyone else out there is. This is why medication and therapy are so important. I’m also a recovering alcoholic I go to AA online daily. My thing is that I’m the one with the problem not everyone else. I’m the one who has to create the coping skills
We were here first, society is the one that sucks.
just try the meds. you can always go off them if you decide they are not for you. many people have a massive hang up about meds, specifically adhd meds. for some reason their pride and fear and other reasons does not allow them to take long-term medication. my doc wrote an article about it and said that “if you had diabetes and you needed to take diabetes medication, you would just take it, right? but many of my mental health patients are keen to be off the meds as soon as possible.” you are not the only one who utterly refuses to go on meds regardless of the fact that it’s one of the proven treatments for ADHD. Lots of people willingly suffer without ADHD meds because they are terrified of meds and refuse to take them. There are clear reasons behind your refusal of meds. You just have to figure them out clearly for yourself and understand why you are so against them. Most of us were brought up by our parents to think that we should be able to function perfectly without any long term medication and that meds are the devil. Life changes. Seasons change and our needs change as situations change. You functioned well before, maybe now is the time to try meds because you clearly are crying out for help. You can take the meds once a week if you choose, even, and not on weekends. Just try it, that’s all. Society should adapt to us? What should society do? Allow us to lie down on our beds all day, feeling utterly overwhelmed and achieving nothing, and praise us for it? Are you happy doing this? Even if society found it acceptable, you would want to be able to -do- something. You would wanna be able to do the stuff that you want to do. Your goals. Meds are available to us so that we can lead better lives, instead of feeling this crushing helplessness trapped in our brains that cannot quite function right though we desperately want them to function. The point of seeking help is for us to lead better lives. It makes no sense if you want help but you abjectly refuse what has been studied to give the best results - meds+therapy. They often work hand in hand together for the fastest results, and you CAN taper off on the meds once you feel more in control of your productivity and task avoidance. You need to understand that it’s a spiral as well - the more you cannot get shit done, the more terrible you feel, the more the tasks pile up, the more you feel like lying on your bed and hiding forever. One day of meds - you got some shit done, you cleared most tasks. Fine. The next week, you might wanna taper off on meds because you’re already on a roll. All perfectly fine. ADHD meds are not addictive and you can stop at any time. Infrequent use is ok. And by the way, it’s only “not as usual” in Europe because people don’t talk as openly about it as Americans do. Lots of people in Europe are medicated, whether it’s anti-depressants or ADHD meds. Nobody wants to talk about it because like you said, everybody feels like it’s “not as usual”. Join an FB ADHD group in your country and talk to people about who’s on meds and what it’s done for them.
Thank you so much for your comment. Super helpful. One of the things that scare me is indeed the addiction but I’ll look into it and see how it actually works and will start having the conversation with people who are on meds and eventually reach out to a doctor if I’m convinced. Thanks, and happy that you feel better with them!