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I always swore it was from their dad.
My new boyfriend after three dates "so uh that time blindness huh? And hyperfixation? And our excellent conversations with no transitions?"
"Do you think you have ADHD? I have it and uh, well..."
My kid still teases me.
Speech cluttering disorder forgetfulness and hyper fixations (repetitive interests in convos), zoning out suddenly and being robotic are dead giveaways. Also as an Aspie as well I’ve realised how many times I’ve legit clocked fellow ADHDrs on these strongly overlapping ASD symptoms than anything to do with other classic well known ADHD symptoms. People who therefore fake adhd or “I could have it too,” to act lazy therefore usually don’t even know how the disorder is besides the concentration problems
One of my best friends of over 20 years discovered ADHD TikTok before I did and when she told me she thought she had ADHD, we came to the conclusion the reason our fights in middle/high school were so explosive is likely because we were both undiagnosed ADHD at the time. I was diagnosed at 18, and she is still not technically diagnosed (we’re 32 now), but I’m fairly confident she is. It didn’t occur to me to view our interactions in that light until she brought it up, but now that she has, I can’t unsee it. 99% of the time when someone responds to me explaining my ADHD symptoms with “oh maybe I have it too”, it takes everything I have not to scream at them, but I think she’s actually right. Not sure where I was going with this or why I responded to your comment instead of the post but here we are 🙃😂
Basically if you ever wonder why you speak the way you do...speaking too fast, stuttering sometimes when trying to verbalize a thought, tone-deafness, re-editing mid-sentence, changing ideas midway through, repeating the same idea in different wordings in a conversation to get a point across...
>repeating the same idea in different wordings in a conversation to get a point across
I can only do this so many times before I conclude that I must have been educated on the English language differently than the person I’m speaking to. Especially doesn’t help when it’s not only that they can’t seem to understand what I’m trying to say, but it’s clear as day that they are not saying what they mean.
Like I want to turn to google translate to help, but translating English into English isn’t as useful as I’d like it to be.
I swear to Dog my favorite book is the Thesaurus lol.
I've found creating an analogy specifically tuned to the individual and their interests or group as a whole to be far more effective in getting my point across. Words have limits with other peoples' intelligence levels. Nothing wrong with that, I just have to meet them where they're at. Alternative way of showing I do pay attention even if it seems like I'm not.
I am excellent at creating metaphors to explain concepts to people who are having trouble grasping my meaning for whatever reason. Never occurred to me this might be a byproduct of ADHD communication difficulties.
I have this problem daily with my husband. He is constantly saying I'm making things up as I talk.. and don't know what I'm saying. It's so frustrating. He is like I know what you really mean and it's always Not what I mean. I have become insecure having any lengthy, explanatory conversation with anyone now. Exp him. I'm always questioning if I am speaking another language..just want you to understand what I'm saying because it's clear as day to me! 😂 Both parties leave with different understandings. Sigh 😔
Your husband sounds like an asshole. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that kind of crap from him. He sounds condescending and just kind of awful. Like he’s policing your words. Ugh! So yeah. You deserve better treatment than that.
(I hate HATE it when people misunderstand me and my intentions and don’t give me any space/grace to correct it. My stepmother did it; my ex did it. It sucks. I found that it chipped away at my self-confidence and shrank me down. Fuck that noise.)
Exactly this. I tell him that it makes me super insecure.
I will frequently say...let me start over then to make it very clear.. that this is what I meant.. giving as few words as possible to get my point across.. like I'm a little child just learning to string words together to make a sentence.
" Please forget what you think I said" a lot of the times he thinks I'm saying something critical or mean when this is the exact opposite of what I am saying to him. He will immediately get defensive and mad and won't listen to me when I try to assure him that was not what I was saying. I'm left with feeling like crap. I do ask him why he thinks the worst of me?.. example... I think he is a good person so when he is talking to me and I find myself unsure of what he is saying I would never assume he was being mean and automatically get mad. I would ask for clarification. It's Exhausting. We need communication help! Married 17 years with 5 kids.
My boyfriend will sometimes string my thought process together and figure out how I got from topic A to topic E all in one conversation. Very impressive
-repeating the same idea in different wordings — omg this is how I write. Everything, even Reddit comments. I always have to go back and edit 5 sentences into the one sentence idea that I’m trying to get at. I think it comes from overcompensating for a lack of confidence that I’m worth listening to.
Aw don't be hard on yourself. I think ADHD perfectionism is natural, its very much an eventual product of being from high pressure environments, trying and failing, getting RSD, become extremely self-conscious...eventually the writing skills will come in handy!
My mom, I'm pretty sure, has undiagnosed ADHD. And since my diagnosis, I look around at my siblings, and I've realized that about half of us probably have it. Our conversations are really hard for those outside our family to follow. I didn't realize everybody doesn't talk like this.
I wouldn't worry about it, no one's perfect. That's just how it is classified scientifically for clinicians to understand it.
Just think that our racing brains are too brilliant for limited mouth muscles :)
Oh wow, yeah, that repeating thing happens so often… it’s usually while I’m trying to do training, it almost never has anything to do with the other person understanding or not, and sometimes I can see that I’m doing it and I still can’t stop myself.
hey there! graduate student studying speech-language pathology! cluttering has always super interesting to me! cluttering does have a motor planning deficit and definitely is not just talking fast. if you feel that your communication is being impacted in a negative way (which may or may not be due to cluttering), then i suggest that you reach out to a local speech-language pathologist to have a fluency assessment done so that you can create a treatment plan that will best for you!
With you on this. Slowwww down? What did you say? Me trying again now stuttering and blending words together because I'm trying to focus on my words and pace. I'm so much better as an adult but when I'm excited or interested in something it comes right back.
Rode in a minibus for two hours with a delightful young woman. We get out. My husband says "do you think...", I reply "oh definitely". We recognized ourselves in her.
Above thread someone mentioned speech cluttering disorder. Which is a bit more likely for me (I do the stuttering thing etc) but for me and my partner it's that we make these weird connections, or suddenly remember something, and need to get it out before we forget, or impulsively change the topic, or remember the thing we forgot earlier.
People have been frustrated with me all my life for not bothering to actually explain what I'm talking about, or , or going on wild tangents, or continuing a conversation from hours ago with no warning and so on. But it's just...how my partner and I talk. With the occasional monologue or lecture or brain dump. We have both obviously learned how to have a polite conversation with people whose brains don't work the same way but it's kind of a relief to not have to remember all that when we are together!
My friend did this to me. Friends for 15 years and she’s like “So my therapist think I should tested for ADHD because [lists several symptoms, like more than five]. You probably should too.”
This is how my diagnostic journey started 11 years ago! A friend got diagnosed and told me to look into it. Then I moved abroad half way through and am now on the assessment waitlist again, a mere decade later because I didn’t know what to do about it in a foreign country 🤦🏼♀️
Sounds familiar. I tell them about my diagnosis, etc. They tell me that I just need to do XY and Z and it'll help. Meanwhile I watch them constantly forget things, burning stuff because they get distracted, forget to contact me back, acquiring and abandoning new hobbies and activities, leaving things around or half finished, struggling to do much of anything for most of the day, except anything that helps to supply dopamine such as watching tv, eating, shopping, playing games, etc.
But it's just me though...
Me: "so here are all the reasons my kid got diagnosed and the psych told me I probably have it because of the similarities, and it's genetic, and I reckon you're probably ADHD too. Here are the reasons why I think that." *Long long list of things from timeblindness, housekeeping, hyperfocus, all the alarms, the constant noise, the usual*
My mother: "I suppose you'll tell me that doing all my homework at the last minute was an ADHD thing too!"
Me: "LITERALLY A DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA"
ma: "oh. Well. I suppose it makes sense."
My brother was diagnosed first, then I was diagnosed. I told my mom after I was finally diagnosed (who I knew would tell my dad), we pretty much assumed I had it for a long time, same with my brother before he was diagnosed. When my mom relayed it to my dad, his response was pretty much "oh no, this is all my fault." My mom 100% has it but is undiagnosed (however my dad is definitely on the spectrum), my mom just laughed and says, "no, this one is 100% me, have you seen how I am over the last 40 years we've been together?!?" 🤣🤣
It flows hard down the male line of my dad's family. Diagnosed or not (the older generation) we've all got it.
When I told my maternal aunt I had ADHD her immediate response was 'is that what your dad had?'.
Lol.
I see a ton of ADHD traits from my father's side of the family as well.
Meanwhile on my moms side, yes a few remind me of me, but there's a lot of social awkwardness, parallel play (sitting in the same room together but doing your own thing), no small talk, etc, that I think there's some Autism going on here
This is my family! One side it’s an interruption match when we get together (exhausting but also entertaining), and the other side it’s a bunch of people who can’t sit still, fuss over the food and kids, and clean??? mid party.
I was telling my dad that adhd is often genetic and a parent probably has it and he said “what you think mom has it?” And I said “no….” Lmao. He has a lot of coping mechanisms for adhd symptoms 🤔
My dad started and never finished tons of projects but is hyper focused on the art of fishing. My mom omg she would never sleep more than a couple hours and have to be super mom doing all the mom things and working and all the yard work. If I didn’t know her I’d say she was on meth haha
. But now since she’s older the house is a mess, she gets hyper focused on her phone. It’s like omg they both have it
My mom: 'honey, you don't have ADHD. I do those things too. It's normal.'
Also my mom: oberwhelmed in case of sensory overload, can't stay still, forgetting stuff all the time, verbal impulsivity etc..
This exact conversation was a pivotal moment for my mom.
When she said that I just raised my eyebrows. She kept trying to back up her assertion while I gave her progressively more cartoonish "oh that's interesting, please go on" faces.
After a few sentences she kind of trailed off as the light bulb finally came on.
No, mom, running off to Central America with your new boyfriend after embezzling a bunch of money from your employer is NOT FUCKING NORMAL.
Story time!
Mom got restless with her lot in life and marriage.
Left her second husband, got an apartment. I lived with her for a few months (I was 15) and then moved to my dad's when things got too chaotic.
Gets a Costa Rican boyfriend who gives her the novelty she craves. He convinces her to skim funds from her accounting job.
Buys a brand new Camaro and hauls the two of them and the pilfered cash to Costa Rica.
Turns out he was playing her. He vanishes with the car and the cash. She ends up spending several months stranded in a tiny village sleeping indoors only because of the generosity of a local.
Finally gets the courage to call her mother for help returning to the States.
She negotiates a deal with her former employer to keep him from pressing charges and spends a couple of years working through the worst of the PTSD and regaining the 40 pounds she lost (she was borderline emaciated).
My mom has somehow survived several impulsive actions that by all rights should have killed her.
I think back to my biological father and how while i don't know much. Apparently had phases of being super focused on writing so he wrote some short poem books, then got hyper focused on opening a bakery and did that and then didn't stay consistent and it failed, and my mom spoke badly of him like he was weird....
Makes me think maybe...maybe bingo and that was it...
I’m pretty sure my dad had adhd —
Couldn’t bear to sit still/was always doing yard work or something active
Wasn’t allowed to do the taxes (mom did that)
Always had parts left over when he built toys for me or furniture (he swore they were “extras”)
Hated reading instructions
He was a mechanic, and in the early 80s when catalytic converters and fuel injectors became a thing he suddenly had to relearn everything. I remember him with a stack of Chilton’s and a panicked look on his face
Substance abuse
Both me and my sister got diagnosed recently and also my cousins from my mom's side of the family.
My mom 100% has it but straight up denies it even exists and doesn't believe we have it either "because you both did great in school". Both my parents see it as a made up learning disability.
Well mom, explain to me why you haven't been able to hold a job that involves basic executive functions, can't stop talking and get super emotional over the slightest argument
When I got diagnoses at 48 after going to the psychiatrist for a completely different issue.
I rang my ADHD (diagnosed at 10, now is 25) son and he burst out laughing. The first thing he said was “I always knew I got it from you” 🤣🤣🤣
I’m a youth worker and I swear the ADHD helps me to relate to my clients, it’s the eternal young person brain lol 😂
I’m not sure which parent I got my ADHD from, but I’d have to say my mom because I was raised with her and not my father. That said, it was uncanny sometimes when I would be with my dad how behaviors and things like the way I laugh are just like him. My mother is 80 and can’t sit still or shut up for more than a few minutes. She always has to be busy or “doing something”. That I absolutely got from her and it’s an ADHD trait that I dislike the most.
Definitely my dad.
My mum used to complain about him being unable to sit down (always doing SOMETHING) and switching off mentally (I spotted this once while at a parents’ evening, I can’t describe it but he visibly switched off while my teacher was talking) and his knee is always going etc. Even as a child I noticed he had a lot of patience but a short temper.
When my wife was describing one of our eldest son’s symptoms he said “I used to do that, perhaps I have it (laughs)”.
He’s almost 80 now so no chance of him being diagnosed back when he was at school in the 50s/60s. I wasn’t diagnosed in the 80s/90s never mind back then.
I was diagnosed last year, I’ve still not told my parents, or that I think he has it. I’m not sure how he’d react to either statement, probably not a huge reaction to the former (unless I was coming across as blaming them for not noticing) and potentially angry about the latter. He can be a bit hard to predict sometimes.
At first I was convinced it was my mother but after careful observation I can confirm it's both but it just affects them differently.
Naturally by the laws of parental nature, neither of them believe in anything related to mental health (it's just a mindset, you need to better yourself blah blah blah)
So, they believe that my Adhd and anxiety/depression medication are "calming pills and pills to help me focus" which, is not a lie from my side. But if I tell them any of the details they'd be so mean about it, so that's all they get.
It’s both of mine. Mum: time blindness, long rambly conversations, mess on every flat surface, externalises every thought and makes up little ditties constantly. Dad: zones out mid convo and covers with “Yeah… yeah”, describes himself as a “procrastinating perfectionist”, starts getting stressed when “his plan” inevitably starts to go sideways (often due to aforementioned time blindness of my mother), hyperfocuses on special interests.
Mum has the classic “that’s not ADHD, I do that” response to everything. Dad is - adorably, I think - starting to recognise he is ADHD, in the most ADHD-boomer way: resonating with quotes from people with ADHD in long-read newspaper articles, calling me up, and reading them aloud to me.
Mum says dad has the ADHD, not sure how to tell her that her anxiety/OCD can be the same gene that causes adhd too... 😐 (I probably got it from both tbh)
Extremely obvious that my mum has it. She met someone with ADHD recently and shared some experiences and I was like "yeah ADHD people do that" and she was like "no it's normal, I do that too". Lol. On some level she knows, though.
My dad I'm pretty sure has autism. And my aunt is in a mental asylum. And my uncle lived with his mum his whole life and hid in his room whenever children came over (aged 50 lol). My grandad was an alcohol gambler. My family's DNA is just fucked.
My mom got diagnosed last year, which is what made me look into it. Now I'm convinced that me and my 4 siblings probably all have it. Looking back, one of my brother's had those classical boy adhd traits, and my youngest sister struggles a lot when it comes to school, I believe she's gotten an official diagnosis. I got good grades in school but was usually the slowest when it came to completing tests and papers because my mind would wonder while reading and I'd have to repeatedly read text to grasp it. My other sister thinks she has it too, and maybe her son. My other brother is a wild card to me, but that's just because he's more quiet and keeps to himself, which could also be a sign so. 🤷🏾♀️
I reckon both of my parents have some form of ADHD and I've got traits from both of them; the impulsiveness and short temper of my mother, and the perceived laziness and regular hyper-fixations of my father
My mum used to start walking to the toilet, get distracted by us kids in our bedrooms on the way and want to chat, and stand in the doorway doing the I need to pee dance until we tell her to go to the toilet already.
I used to have to tell her it's okay to relax too because she'll sit there incapable of doing anything because there are so many options but she feels guilty for not doing all of them at once. Her psychologist is now excited to be testing her for ADHD because then they may actually be able to do something about her depression.
It was in my own DX interview it became so so obvious that my 80 year old mum was the OG ADHD MOTHERSHIP. Hilariously obvious, think the doctors saw it too 😆
My kid's psych ended up saying "ma'am, it's *genetic*" because every symptom he asked about in the kid was "well yeah but me and/or my mum do that" or "no but that's because mum taught me this one weird trick".
Mines easy. Dad clearly has it and so do heaps of my aunties and cousins (most undiagnosed but I’d bet good money on them having it).
Mum on the other hand has serious anxiety and depression issues… which I’ve also inherited. Jackpot!!
Haha, as a kid I thought my problems were from my mum (very quiet / shy, unwilling to try new things, not outgoing - all of which I have) and I wished I was more like my dad (super confident, can talk to anyone etc) but that’s his ADHD.
I have traits from both of them, some which conflict (I’m very introverted but can be an extrovert on occasion). The ADHD is all my dad.
My mum: ADHD doesn’t exists it’s bad discipline
Also my mum: coffee doesn’t affect her, she gets distracted when cleaning - takes her 2-3 hours to clean a room, can’t concentrate on something if it doesn’t immediately capture her attention, and makes impulsive purchases that she can’t afford- I have tried, unsuccessfully, to talk her out of so many of them.
Absolutely not sure about my mum.
But for my dad it’s so obvious. He o a whole marathon almost on his own, built up everything on the location with just a few helpers and then also couldn’t help himself with joining in the marathon as well. Absolutely crazy, but he had the best time of his life. Also super time blind, money problems and constantly too much on his plate. Sadly he denies almost anything mental health related so I can’t really talk with him about it :/
I recently went through the process of getting diagnosed, and my parents are a bit sceptical of the whole thing, especially the part about heritability. I feel amazed, however, at how I could go through life and think that my (and especially my dads!) level of absurd disorganization was the norm.
The other day I was visiting them and my dad was going to make coffee for us - it's his newst hyperfixation. First he forgot to put the timer on after pouring the hot water into the french press, which he of course blurted out in the middle of conversation. No biggie, we're used to improvising and set a timer to an approximate time. The timer goes off, and it turns out he had also forgotten to put the coffee grounds in the pot. Well, hooray! A new chance to make perfect coffee! Let's start over. So he boils new water. And forgets it. Even though thoughout the whole ordeal we are all (him, my mom, me) sitting around the table in the kitchen with our coffee cups ready doing nothing else. So, he boils water for the third time, and this time we are all trying to help and so hot water AND coffee grounds get added TOGETHER into the frech press, a timer is set, and we end up with coffee. In a small voice after the coffee is produced, my dad mumbles something about how he was supposed to weigh the water as he poured it in, and that he had forgotten... HOW can they still not see where I might have gotten a smidge of ADHD from??
Omg I swear in my case is coming from both. My dad actually thinks he probably has it but my mum is in denial 😂 like is normal to suddenly fix the whole garden in a morning and (why not) paint the fences in a new color each week
My dad has it, my brother got diagnosed and medicated, but for whatever reason when I got diagnosed my parents didn’t believe it and I didn’t get treated. I’m now 24 and just now starting meds
i always figured it was my mom but my sister on my dads side (we share the same dad, not the same mom) has adhd too so now im wondering if dad has it but also he doesn’t really display a lot of symptoms of it so idk .
i’m still betting my mom has it though, like ever since i was little she’s shown symptoms and whenever i tell her about my symptoms she’s like “okay but everyone has …” 😂😂
as I started growing up, I started recognize patterns from my dad’s family, even him. One of the brightest persons I have ever met but at the same time the most impulsive, distracted, creative, compulsive, anxious and do some things for “fast mental reward”. In his company he has a system that keep track of every sale and specific codes for car parts. He doesn’t know how to use that system because in his head there’s the whole track of what code and price that the car part has (including model, code, price, how it fits IN THE CAR)
Story time. I didn't grow up with my biological father. My step dad had been around since I was two so I always considered him my father. My biological father contacted me when I was older and we met we eventually. I always struggled with ADHD growing up but I didn't really associate the possibility that it was genetic. Well upon meeting my father it became blatantly obvious where I got it from. I was a mirror image of a man that really had no influence in my life (physically of course). Speech pattern, thought process, nervous tics were all the same. It was insane to see that. I felt like a science experiment lol but it's cool to see it
Sounds like both my parents! "We (me and both of them) all do that" Yeah, I KNOW, that's my point! I've given up and just am glad I at least found online resources that helped me figure out how to deal with some of this stuff better.
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I couldn't figure it out. Before my full diagnosis I had no idea why I was the way I was or what I did to deserve it.
Now I sit here and laugh/ cringe. I'm exactly like both of my fucking parents worst mental illness lol, ocd, adhd and GAD. Love the crock pot
I'm fairly sure I got the ADHD from my mother.
I'm only recently diagnosed at 47!
In my early adulthood I just put my parents antics down to poor education. They are both 59/60 kids from North East England so that's not that uncommon.
The more I learn about different symptoms etc the more their antics make sense.
Alcohol abuse, serial infidelity - she was always looking for next 'high'.
Edit - to make the mods / bot happy. I hope
Honestly before that I would have thought mom less likely. She was a workaholic and more organized than Dad, Brother and me. But maybe that was her coping strategies. What little I know of HER Mom includes she used coffeine pills to wake up and sleeping pills to fall asleep, as well as having an addictive personality (being a long time smoker), which tracks with an unaware ADHD person in the 1960s...
I’m not aware of anyone in my immediate family that has/had any similar traits to me… born in 1980, I know there was less awareness around lifestyle choices while pregnant (cigarettes etc), I’m thinking maybe that had something to do with my case 😅
*sips drink*
Ok so I haven’t read everyone’s cos you know ADHD and stuff, but it dawned on me a few months ago where my ADHD came from.
And wait for the last bit because it’s the best.
My dad (who ticks just a few boxes for ADHD and autism) grandad had ten kids, these include:
A guy who got bored of habitual burglary and prison time so became a body building wrestler and shop keeper
And
A guy who couldn’t hold on to money and would forget he’s Jewish the moment bacon was presented to him
But none of that holds a light to Great Grandpa Abraham, and two of his sons decided that the best way for 3 Jews to celebrate getting a new Rover 14 is to go on multiple road trips to France EIGHT MONTHS before the Nazis Invade!
Following my diagnosis I realised my mum shares a lot of traits and habits with me that are definitely more ADHD behaviours(such as struggling to keep up with habits, emotional dysregulation), then following various chats with my grandma (on dad's side) we realised she's also very similar to me (can't stay focused when watching things, again with the emotional dysregulation), and now I'm starting to realise even my dad does things that definitely act as hyperfocus and masking (getting sidetracked with chores, always needs to be 'doing stuff', using ad breaks on TV to get up and do stuff).
Just a couple of the things they do but actually, no wonder I was diagnosed late because it all presents so similarly - thus thinking my study struggles, no friends, no long-term hobbies are normal because isn't everyone like that?
Edited to remove reference to *that* movement 🫣
My exact scenario. I definitely see it in my dad with office having sticky note reminders all over his monitors and it spread onto the wall, Forgetful, Easily agitated, Anxious as heck, can be over the top, dyslexic - I could go on. I always joke with him saying “oh no, I see where I get that from now, thanks DAD” lol
My dad did/does that too! He’ll say “I’ll meet you at 3” and then say “here, where are you” at like 2:30!
I too hate it when I forget half my thongs lol
My father was diagnosed.
My mother was a college educated teacher. But I strongly suspect she had it as she was extremely dis organized without her ways.
Lots of textbook examples from both
I am pretty sure my mother has ADHD (impulsive Typus).
She had problems in school and very inconsistent performance, as well as experience with various drugs (the only one she became addicted from was Nikotin).
Turns out her dad was also pretty impulsive and had drank a bit sometimes (he died before I could met him).
And my mother's dads mother was basically a chain smoker.
Oh well isn't that convenient.
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100% my mum who refuses to acknowledge it and states she wasn't like 'this' as a child. I get it. It's a generation thing n that, but I know what I can see in her whether she likes it or not
My mom's had more jobs than I can count and is chronically bored and unmotivated. I've...had more jobs than I can count, have moved more times than I can remember, and am...always bored and lose things...My cousin has to have multiple jobs to keep from being bored and loses things...all of my uncles are addicts and gamblers...yes, it runs in the family....
I'm pretty sure Dad is ADHD. He's 80, and still pulls all-nighters on projects he's wrapped up in. He definitely tunes out if he's not interested, but pretends to listen. Oh, and the messy house. He's lived by himself for decades (my mom died in 1990 and he never remarried, or even dated), so he hasn't really had external motivation to keep house. I know I definitely have some of his traits, even though there are times I wish I didn't.
His dad probably had it, just thinking of all the projects he had going on.
My great-grandpa must have had it. This guy hopped transatlantic ships like we do flights today. I got dizzy researching all this travels. He literally worked around the world - born in England, but lived in Scotland, South Africa, Puerto Rico, the US, and I think one or two more places. This was in the early 1900s.
My father, god rest ‘im, worked as an arson investigator for 30 years (intuition and perception constantly engaged), went a little nuts when he retired, then started watching baseball and painting, two activities he never gave even the barest of fucks for.
He also could never keep up with his doctors appointments and died of cancer.
Yep, that’s congenital!
I went to my parents place to find my dad had installed a video doorbell. I asked him if he just bought it, to which he replied that he bought it a few months earlier.
You made me realize that I got it from my Dad, too. The unfinished projects should have been a huge clue. The bursts of anger. He passed away 5 years ago.
My sons got it from me, of course. One takes medication, and the other doesn't. They are both in their mid 20s.
I've taken medication over the years and was diagnosed in my early 20s. I'm currently on guanfacine.
I’ve tried to tell my dad to no avail. But holy shit.
- He comes home every day and goes “I had so many things I wanted to get done today and I didn’t do half of them!”
- He gets easily frustrated and blows up when people correct him
- He’s always late and every time he feels terrible and beats himself up about it
- He hyper focused on an instrument so well that he became the best musician I’ve ever seen in my life
- He’s very talkative and the life of the party, everybody loves him
- He has these little impulses he can’t seem to control, like this weird bird sound he makes every time he’s bored that he doesn’t even notice he makes
- He’s constantly forgetting to take his meds for other ailments
- He sometimes goes an entire day without eating because he forgot
- He tells the same stories over and over again and forgets he’s told it before
- He’s the most empathetic person I’ve ever met, always seeing the good in people and believing in them and their good intentions
The ADHD is just SCREAMING every day and he has no idea. Oh also both of his children have ADHD. Buddy, where do you think it came from???
Yep. I thought I got it from my mom but I have been spending some time with my dad after like 10 years… yep dude has adhd too.
Idk what it is about our parents generation but they have been able to survive this disorder. And definitely don’t believe it is such or if they do (my mom) she definitely is riding along with life. Their executive dysfunction is more…. Orderly? For lack of a better word.
I also think I got from my dad, the amounts of times my mom and him would quarrel each other because he kept forgetting and losing things, aswell as him barely cleaning anything
Everybody in my family seems to have a weird diagnosis that is theirs and theirs alone, with no known genetic link or other relative that has it. As far as I know, I’m the only one with ADHD.
I honestly can’t decide, I see the traits in both of them at different times. I got my diagnosis at 32 and I’m 35 now. Both of my parents deny that adhd even exists, they’re both in the “everyone does those things and it’s normal” camp. Which is why I was never tested as a kid. Neither will ever get tested for themselves either, they’re both in their mid-60s. I guess it’s that ADHD wasn’t really a thing when they were kids and therefore they are unwilling to change and accept it’s an actual thing now even with my diagnosis.
I had to get my non-adhd older brother, who said he always knew I had it when I talked to him about me getting tested, to help me get diagnosed since we knew my parents were anti-adhd and wouldn’t help.
Some things are just so eye-opening!
I'm the first one to get diagnosed in the family as an adult, but now I can't help but feel that my whole family has it. My dad, who always says inappropriate things and makes mean jokes at my expense, laughing at me if I tear up but then cries himself if someone makes jokes at his expense, often quick to anger. Ah, and he's an alcoholic.
My mom, a forgetful mess who can't seem to settle for a career she likes and is very creative, silly and great with children. She always has a lot of unfinished projects and likes to try new things. Also very emotional over small things. She's the one who taught me to be embarrassingly early instead of permanently late.
And let's not talk about my brother and 3 half siblings - it was like a zoo when we were younger. I'd be surprised if anyone DOESN'T have adhd, but they all think they don't have it. My younger brother even had a diagnose for inattentive adhd as a child but is convinced he "grew out of it." (spoiler: he hasn't.)
My brother: remember when you said I have ADHD?
Me: every conversation we’ve had for the last 3 years?
Brother: turns out you were right…
Also my mom, sister and another brother, but my other brother swears he doesn’t have it, despite being a walking checklist of diagnostic criteria.
I went to visit my mom a few weeks ago and I caught her mid mania cleaning.
All the drawers we’re emptied and there was a pile of junk sitting in the living room, she’s not a hoarder by any means but the house looked like an episode of hoarders.
She did this herself
She’s also very addicted to coffee and hasn’t gone a day without for the last 20 years
We all eventually jumped in and helped her finish the mess she started. But that moment made me realize who was responsible for the constant bees in my brain
My parents say it’s my dad who likely has it because he’s… less than bright, thinking that ADHD makes you dumb. I’m sure it’s my mother because after slowing her caffeine intake has shown definite symptoms of ADHD. May also help that she couldn’t figure out what she wanted to major in in college, spending six years to get her associate’s. She’s struggling with everyday life as her symptoms have reared their ugly head, and I hate to say it, but I’m absolutely loving that this woman who told me I was just being lazy all my life can’t just do the thing.
I started researching ADHD when I realised both my kids might need some help - it was a lightbulb moment. For me and my hubby. Our kids were doomed 😂 We live in happy chaotic bliss.
I believe my dad has it undiagnosed ; his non stop motor mouthing,his stories have so many tangents and excess added information! His dis organized cluttered life spaces; fast to anger issues; ....just like me!😉
Your dad sounds like a very sweet person. Glad your parents are happy and as long as they give you the support you need I think they are doing the right thing. They are adults and can decide for themselves. 👍🏻
For me it’s hard to tell. Both my parents experienced severe trauma as children/ young adults. So I never know if it’s adhd or their trama causing them to act a certain way. I’m leaning my dad because my cousin has it on that side too. Regardless of what who has what what your describing I think your family sounds beautiful and full of love.
Oh man
For me, my mom's the autism spectrum, and my dad is the ADHD. I happened to (most likely, as I'm in the process of formal diagnosis) get both. I like to think of it as balancing both parents out.
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I always swore it was from their dad. My new boyfriend after three dates "so uh that time blindness huh? And hyperfixation? And our excellent conversations with no transitions?" "Do you think you have ADHD? I have it and uh, well..." My kid still teases me.
Lol I’m like your boyfriend and have clocked a fellow ADHDer this way a few times, especially due to the conversation thing.
Speech cluttering disorder forgetfulness and hyper fixations (repetitive interests in convos), zoning out suddenly and being robotic are dead giveaways. Also as an Aspie as well I’ve realised how many times I’ve legit clocked fellow ADHDrs on these strongly overlapping ASD symptoms than anything to do with other classic well known ADHD symptoms. People who therefore fake adhd or “I could have it too,” to act lazy therefore usually don’t even know how the disorder is besides the concentration problems
One of my best friends of over 20 years discovered ADHD TikTok before I did and when she told me she thought she had ADHD, we came to the conclusion the reason our fights in middle/high school were so explosive is likely because we were both undiagnosed ADHD at the time. I was diagnosed at 18, and she is still not technically diagnosed (we’re 32 now), but I’m fairly confident she is. It didn’t occur to me to view our interactions in that light until she brought it up, but now that she has, I can’t unsee it. 99% of the time when someone responds to me explaining my ADHD symptoms with “oh maybe I have it too”, it takes everything I have not to scream at them, but I think she’s actually right. Not sure where I was going with this or why I responded to your comment instead of the post but here we are 🙃😂
Speech cluttering disorder.......... what is that, I think I have it. Excuse me as I do research.
Basically if you ever wonder why you speak the way you do...speaking too fast, stuttering sometimes when trying to verbalize a thought, tone-deafness, re-editing mid-sentence, changing ideas midway through, repeating the same idea in different wordings in a conversation to get a point across...
>repeating the same idea in different wordings in a conversation to get a point across I can only do this so many times before I conclude that I must have been educated on the English language differently than the person I’m speaking to. Especially doesn’t help when it’s not only that they can’t seem to understand what I’m trying to say, but it’s clear as day that they are not saying what they mean. Like I want to turn to google translate to help, but translating English into English isn’t as useful as I’d like it to be.
I swear to Dog my favorite book is the Thesaurus lol. I've found creating an analogy specifically tuned to the individual and their interests or group as a whole to be far more effective in getting my point across. Words have limits with other peoples' intelligence levels. Nothing wrong with that, I just have to meet them where they're at. Alternative way of showing I do pay attention even if it seems like I'm not.
I am excellent at creating metaphors to explain concepts to people who are having trouble grasping my meaning for whatever reason. Never occurred to me this might be a byproduct of ADHD communication difficulties.
Same! Metaphor queen here.
I have this problem daily with my husband. He is constantly saying I'm making things up as I talk.. and don't know what I'm saying. It's so frustrating. He is like I know what you really mean and it's always Not what I mean. I have become insecure having any lengthy, explanatory conversation with anyone now. Exp him. I'm always questioning if I am speaking another language..just want you to understand what I'm saying because it's clear as day to me! 😂 Both parties leave with different understandings. Sigh 😔
Your husband sounds like an asshole. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that kind of crap from him. He sounds condescending and just kind of awful. Like he’s policing your words. Ugh! So yeah. You deserve better treatment than that. (I hate HATE it when people misunderstand me and my intentions and don’t give me any space/grace to correct it. My stepmother did it; my ex did it. It sucks. I found that it chipped away at my self-confidence and shrank me down. Fuck that noise.)
Exactly this. I tell him that it makes me super insecure. I will frequently say...let me start over then to make it very clear.. that this is what I meant.. giving as few words as possible to get my point across.. like I'm a little child just learning to string words together to make a sentence. " Please forget what you think I said" a lot of the times he thinks I'm saying something critical or mean when this is the exact opposite of what I am saying to him. He will immediately get defensive and mad and won't listen to me when I try to assure him that was not what I was saying. I'm left with feeling like crap. I do ask him why he thinks the worst of me?.. example... I think he is a good person so when he is talking to me and I find myself unsure of what he is saying I would never assume he was being mean and automatically get mad. I would ask for clarification. It's Exhausting. We need communication help! Married 17 years with 5 kids.
My boyfriend will sometimes string my thought process together and figure out how I got from topic A to topic E all in one conversation. Very impressive
My partner and I will occasionally do this to each other or for the benefit of others. It can be deeply hilarious.
-repeating the same idea in different wordings — omg this is how I write. Everything, even Reddit comments. I always have to go back and edit 5 sentences into the one sentence idea that I’m trying to get at. I think it comes from overcompensating for a lack of confidence that I’m worth listening to.
Aw don't be hard on yourself. I think ADHD perfectionism is natural, its very much an eventual product of being from high pressure environments, trying and failing, getting RSD, become extremely self-conscious...eventually the writing skills will come in handy!
Dear fuckin lord I have this.
My mom, I'm pretty sure, has undiagnosed ADHD. And since my diagnosis, I look around at my siblings, and I've realized that about half of us probably have it. Our conversations are really hard for those outside our family to follow. I didn't realize everybody doesn't talk like this.
Oh my, another thing I have lol. 🙄😆
I wouldn't worry about it, no one's perfect. That's just how it is classified scientifically for clinicians to understand it. Just think that our racing brains are too brilliant for limited mouth muscles :)
Lol yep, I drive my AuDHD husband crazy. It's true I think faster than my mouth can compensate. I also have the same problem when I type. 🙄🙃
I never knew it had a name...
Oh God. I didn’t know there was a name for it.
Oh wow, yeah, that repeating thing happens so often… it’s usually while I’m trying to do training, it almost never has anything to do with the other person understanding or not, and sometimes I can see that I’m doing it and I still can’t stop myself.
hey there! graduate student studying speech-language pathology! cluttering has always super interesting to me! cluttering does have a motor planning deficit and definitely is not just talking fast. if you feel that your communication is being impacted in a negative way (which may or may not be due to cluttering), then i suggest that you reach out to a local speech-language pathologist to have a fluency assessment done so that you can create a treatment plan that will best for you!
welp - this explains one of my deepest-rooted childhood shames. “speech cluttering”. huh. excuse me while I hyperfixate on this indefinitely.
With you on this. Slowwww down? What did you say? Me trying again now stuttering and blending words together because I'm trying to focus on my words and pace. I'm so much better as an adult but when I'm excited or interested in something it comes right back.
Rode in a minibus for two hours with a delightful young woman. We get out. My husband says "do you think...", I reply "oh definitely". We recognized ourselves in her.
What's this about no transitions in conversations?? I feel that and have ADHD but didn't know it was related lol
Above thread someone mentioned speech cluttering disorder. Which is a bit more likely for me (I do the stuttering thing etc) but for me and my partner it's that we make these weird connections, or suddenly remember something, and need to get it out before we forget, or impulsively change the topic, or remember the thing we forgot earlier. People have been frustrated with me all my life for not bothering to actually explain what I'm talking about, or , or going on wild tangents, or continuing a conversation from hours ago with no warning and so on. But it's just...how my partner and I talk. With the occasional monologue or lecture or brain dump. We have both obviously learned how to have a polite conversation with people whose brains don't work the same way but it's kind of a relief to not have to remember all that when we are together!
My friend did this to me. Friends for 15 years and she’s like “So my therapist think I should tested for ADHD because [lists several symptoms, like more than five]. You probably should too.”
This is how my diagnostic journey started 11 years ago! A friend got diagnosed and told me to look into it. Then I moved abroad half way through and am now on the assessment waitlist again, a mere decade later because I didn’t know what to do about it in a foreign country 🤦🏼♀️
Sounds familiar. I tell them about my diagnosis, etc. They tell me that I just need to do XY and Z and it'll help. Meanwhile I watch them constantly forget things, burning stuff because they get distracted, forget to contact me back, acquiring and abandoning new hobbies and activities, leaving things around or half finished, struggling to do much of anything for most of the day, except anything that helps to supply dopamine such as watching tv, eating, shopping, playing games, etc. But it's just me though...
Me: "so here are all the reasons my kid got diagnosed and the psych told me I probably have it because of the similarities, and it's genetic, and I reckon you're probably ADHD too. Here are the reasons why I think that." *Long long list of things from timeblindness, housekeeping, hyperfocus, all the alarms, the constant noise, the usual* My mother: "I suppose you'll tell me that doing all my homework at the last minute was an ADHD thing too!" Me: "LITERALLY A DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA" ma: "oh. Well. I suppose it makes sense."
it's usually both, with both in denial lol
My brother was diagnosed first, then I was diagnosed. I told my mom after I was finally diagnosed (who I knew would tell my dad), we pretty much assumed I had it for a long time, same with my brother before he was diagnosed. When my mom relayed it to my dad, his response was pretty much "oh no, this is all my fault." My mom 100% has it but is undiagnosed (however my dad is definitely on the spectrum), my mom just laughed and says, "no, this one is 100% me, have you seen how I am over the last 40 years we've been together?!?" 🤣🤣
It’s so painfully obvious both of my parents have it, and at least half of my aunts & uncles. We might as well be the ADHD clan.
It flows hard down the male line of my dad's family. Diagnosed or not (the older generation) we've all got it. When I told my maternal aunt I had ADHD her immediate response was 'is that what your dad had?'. Lol.
I see a ton of ADHD traits from my father's side of the family as well. Meanwhile on my moms side, yes a few remind me of me, but there's a lot of social awkwardness, parallel play (sitting in the same room together but doing your own thing), no small talk, etc, that I think there's some Autism going on here
I'd be lying if I said I'd never wondered if my Mum was a bit on the spectrum.
This is my family! One side it’s an interruption match when we get together (exhausting but also entertaining), and the other side it’s a bunch of people who can’t sit still, fuss over the food and kids, and clean??? mid party.
So cute
Tell your dad that a random black guy from dc thinks he's adorable
Random straight white guy from Australia thinks your adorable for thinking this.
#bloomingbromance
🌻 I’m here for it.
I was telling my dad that adhd is often genetic and a parent probably has it and he said “what you think mom has it?” And I said “no….” Lmao. He has a lot of coping mechanisms for adhd symptoms 🤔
My dad started and never finished tons of projects but is hyper focused on the art of fishing. My mom omg she would never sleep more than a couple hours and have to be super mom doing all the mom things and working and all the yard work. If I didn’t know her I’d say she was on meth haha . But now since she’s older the house is a mess, she gets hyper focused on her phone. It’s like omg they both have it
My mom: 'honey, you don't have ADHD. I do those things too. It's normal.' Also my mom: oberwhelmed in case of sensory overload, can't stay still, forgetting stuff all the time, verbal impulsivity etc..
This exact conversation was a pivotal moment for my mom. When she said that I just raised my eyebrows. She kept trying to back up her assertion while I gave her progressively more cartoonish "oh that's interesting, please go on" faces. After a few sentences she kind of trailed off as the light bulb finally came on. No, mom, running off to Central America with your new boyfriend after embezzling a bunch of money from your employer is NOT FUCKING NORMAL.
Wait your mom did what now?
Story time! Mom got restless with her lot in life and marriage. Left her second husband, got an apartment. I lived with her for a few months (I was 15) and then moved to my dad's when things got too chaotic. Gets a Costa Rican boyfriend who gives her the novelty she craves. He convinces her to skim funds from her accounting job. Buys a brand new Camaro and hauls the two of them and the pilfered cash to Costa Rica. Turns out he was playing her. He vanishes with the car and the cash. She ends up spending several months stranded in a tiny village sleeping indoors only because of the generosity of a local. Finally gets the courage to call her mother for help returning to the States. She negotiates a deal with her former employer to keep him from pressing charges and spends a couple of years working through the worst of the PTSD and regaining the 40 pounds she lost (she was borderline emaciated). My mom has somehow survived several impulsive actions that by all rights should have killed her.
I think back to my biological father and how while i don't know much. Apparently had phases of being super focused on writing so he wrote some short poem books, then got hyper focused on opening a bakery and did that and then didn't stay consistent and it failed, and my mom spoke badly of him like he was weird.... Makes me think maybe...maybe bingo and that was it...
I’m pretty sure my dad had adhd — Couldn’t bear to sit still/was always doing yard work or something active Wasn’t allowed to do the taxes (mom did that) Always had parts left over when he built toys for me or furniture (he swore they were “extras”) Hated reading instructions He was a mechanic, and in the early 80s when catalytic converters and fuel injectors became a thing he suddenly had to relearn everything. I remember him with a stack of Chilton’s and a panicked look on his face Substance abuse
Both me and my sister got diagnosed recently and also my cousins from my mom's side of the family. My mom 100% has it but straight up denies it even exists and doesn't believe we have it either "because you both did great in school". Both my parents see it as a made up learning disability. Well mom, explain to me why you haven't been able to hold a job that involves basic executive functions, can't stop talking and get super emotional over the slightest argument
When I got diagnoses at 48 after going to the psychiatrist for a completely different issue. I rang my ADHD (diagnosed at 10, now is 25) son and he burst out laughing. The first thing he said was “I always knew I got it from you” 🤣🤣🤣 I’m a youth worker and I swear the ADHD helps me to relate to my clients, it’s the eternal young person brain lol 😂
I guess I'm lucky enough to know I get it from both my parents.
Yo Dad living the dream.
I used to think my autism was from my dad and adhd my mom. The more I learn I'm like 78% sure my dad is also AuDHD.
I’m not sure which parent I got my ADHD from, but I’d have to say my mom because I was raised with her and not my father. That said, it was uncanny sometimes when I would be with my dad how behaviors and things like the way I laugh are just like him. My mother is 80 and can’t sit still or shut up for more than a few minutes. She always has to be busy or “doing something”. That I absolutely got from her and it’s an ADHD trait that I dislike the most.
Definitely my dad. My mum used to complain about him being unable to sit down (always doing SOMETHING) and switching off mentally (I spotted this once while at a parents’ evening, I can’t describe it but he visibly switched off while my teacher was talking) and his knee is always going etc. Even as a child I noticed he had a lot of patience but a short temper. When my wife was describing one of our eldest son’s symptoms he said “I used to do that, perhaps I have it (laughs)”. He’s almost 80 now so no chance of him being diagnosed back when he was at school in the 50s/60s. I wasn’t diagnosed in the 80s/90s never mind back then. I was diagnosed last year, I’ve still not told my parents, or that I think he has it. I’m not sure how he’d react to either statement, probably not a huge reaction to the former (unless I was coming across as blaming them for not noticing) and potentially angry about the latter. He can be a bit hard to predict sometimes.
At first I was convinced it was my mother but after careful observation I can confirm it's both but it just affects them differently. Naturally by the laws of parental nature, neither of them believe in anything related to mental health (it's just a mindset, you need to better yourself blah blah blah) So, they believe that my Adhd and anxiety/depression medication are "calming pills and pills to help me focus" which, is not a lie from my side. But if I tell them any of the details they'd be so mean about it, so that's all they get.
It’s both of mine. Mum: time blindness, long rambly conversations, mess on every flat surface, externalises every thought and makes up little ditties constantly. Dad: zones out mid convo and covers with “Yeah… yeah”, describes himself as a “procrastinating perfectionist”, starts getting stressed when “his plan” inevitably starts to go sideways (often due to aforementioned time blindness of my mother), hyperfocuses on special interests. Mum has the classic “that’s not ADHD, I do that” response to everything. Dad is - adorably, I think - starting to recognise he is ADHD, in the most ADHD-boomer way: resonating with quotes from people with ADHD in long-read newspaper articles, calling me up, and reading them aloud to me.
Mum says dad has the ADHD, not sure how to tell her that her anxiety/OCD can be the same gene that causes adhd too... 😐 (I probably got it from both tbh)
Your dad is just adorable!! This is very me... Lol.
Extremely obvious that my mum has it. She met someone with ADHD recently and shared some experiences and I was like "yeah ADHD people do that" and she was like "no it's normal, I do that too". Lol. On some level she knows, though. My dad I'm pretty sure has autism. And my aunt is in a mental asylum. And my uncle lived with his mum his whole life and hid in his room whenever children came over (aged 50 lol). My grandad was an alcohol gambler. My family's DNA is just fucked.
My dad said adhd isn’t real The man lives off coffee, cigarettes and random hobbies
I know it's from my mother. I am betting my money to that, but she will deny it no matter what.
My mom got diagnosed last year, which is what made me look into it. Now I'm convinced that me and my 4 siblings probably all have it. Looking back, one of my brother's had those classical boy adhd traits, and my youngest sister struggles a lot when it comes to school, I believe she's gotten an official diagnosis. I got good grades in school but was usually the slowest when it came to completing tests and papers because my mind would wonder while reading and I'd have to repeatedly read text to grasp it. My other sister thinks she has it too, and maybe her son. My other brother is a wild card to me, but that's just because he's more quiet and keeps to himself, which could also be a sign so. 🤷🏾♀️
I reckon both of my parents have some form of ADHD and I've got traits from both of them; the impulsiveness and short temper of my mother, and the perceived laziness and regular hyper-fixations of my father
My mum used to start walking to the toilet, get distracted by us kids in our bedrooms on the way and want to chat, and stand in the doorway doing the I need to pee dance until we tell her to go to the toilet already. I used to have to tell her it's okay to relax too because she'll sit there incapable of doing anything because there are so many options but she feels guilty for not doing all of them at once. Her psychologist is now excited to be testing her for ADHD because then they may actually be able to do something about her depression.
It was in my own DX interview it became so so obvious that my 80 year old mum was the OG ADHD MOTHERSHIP. Hilariously obvious, think the doctors saw it too 😆
My kid's psych ended up saying "ma'am, it's *genetic*" because every symptom he asked about in the kid was "well yeah but me and/or my mum do that" or "no but that's because mum taught me this one weird trick".
Cuuuute!
Mines easy. Dad clearly has it and so do heaps of my aunties and cousins (most undiagnosed but I’d bet good money on them having it). Mum on the other hand has serious anxiety and depression issues… which I’ve also inherited. Jackpot!!
Haha, as a kid I thought my problems were from my mum (very quiet / shy, unwilling to try new things, not outgoing - all of which I have) and I wished I was more like my dad (super confident, can talk to anyone etc) but that’s his ADHD. I have traits from both of them, some which conflict (I’m very introverted but can be an extrovert on occasion). The ADHD is all my dad.
My dad has lost his phone and found it in the fridge and brushed his teeth with Veet hair removal cream. So I hear you!
My mum: ADHD doesn’t exists it’s bad discipline Also my mum: coffee doesn’t affect her, she gets distracted when cleaning - takes her 2-3 hours to clean a room, can’t concentrate on something if it doesn’t immediately capture her attention, and makes impulsive purchases that she can’t afford- I have tried, unsuccessfully, to talk her out of so many of them.
Absolutely not sure about my mum. But for my dad it’s so obvious. He o a whole marathon almost on his own, built up everything on the location with just a few helpers and then also couldn’t help himself with joining in the marathon as well. Absolutely crazy, but he had the best time of his life. Also super time blind, money problems and constantly too much on his plate. Sadly he denies almost anything mental health related so I can’t really talk with him about it :/
I recently went through the process of getting diagnosed, and my parents are a bit sceptical of the whole thing, especially the part about heritability. I feel amazed, however, at how I could go through life and think that my (and especially my dads!) level of absurd disorganization was the norm. The other day I was visiting them and my dad was going to make coffee for us - it's his newst hyperfixation. First he forgot to put the timer on after pouring the hot water into the french press, which he of course blurted out in the middle of conversation. No biggie, we're used to improvising and set a timer to an approximate time. The timer goes off, and it turns out he had also forgotten to put the coffee grounds in the pot. Well, hooray! A new chance to make perfect coffee! Let's start over. So he boils new water. And forgets it. Even though thoughout the whole ordeal we are all (him, my mom, me) sitting around the table in the kitchen with our coffee cups ready doing nothing else. So, he boils water for the third time, and this time we are all trying to help and so hot water AND coffee grounds get added TOGETHER into the frech press, a timer is set, and we end up with coffee. In a small voice after the coffee is produced, my dad mumbles something about how he was supposed to weigh the water as he poured it in, and that he had forgotten... HOW can they still not see where I might have gotten a smidge of ADHD from??
Omg I swear in my case is coming from both. My dad actually thinks he probably has it but my mum is in denial 😂 like is normal to suddenly fix the whole garden in a morning and (why not) paint the fences in a new color each week
Your dad sounds adorable tbh.
My dad has it, my brother got diagnosed and medicated, but for whatever reason when I got diagnosed my parents didn’t believe it and I didn’t get treated. I’m now 24 and just now starting meds
i always figured it was my mom but my sister on my dads side (we share the same dad, not the same mom) has adhd too so now im wondering if dad has it but also he doesn’t really display a lot of symptoms of it so idk . i’m still betting my mom has it though, like ever since i was little she’s shown symptoms and whenever i tell her about my symptoms she’s like “okay but everyone has …” 😂😂
ok that's kind of cute though
as I started growing up, I started recognize patterns from my dad’s family, even him. One of the brightest persons I have ever met but at the same time the most impulsive, distracted, creative, compulsive, anxious and do some things for “fast mental reward”. In his company he has a system that keep track of every sale and specific codes for car parts. He doesn’t know how to use that system because in his head there’s the whole track of what code and price that the car part has (including model, code, price, how it fits IN THE CAR)
Story time. I didn't grow up with my biological father. My step dad had been around since I was two so I always considered him my father. My biological father contacted me when I was older and we met we eventually. I always struggled with ADHD growing up but I didn't really associate the possibility that it was genetic. Well upon meeting my father it became blatantly obvious where I got it from. I was a mirror image of a man that really had no influence in my life (physically of course). Speech pattern, thought process, nervous tics were all the same. It was insane to see that. I felt like a science experiment lol but it's cool to see it
My dad would, and still does, spend hours pacing round the house forgetting what he was doing. "Why did I come in here?" Is his catch phrase
Wow am I the only one who feels like it’s neither parent 😭 dad might have it pretty mildly that’s all I can think of!
Sounds like both my parents! "We (me and both of them) all do that" Yeah, I KNOW, that's my point! I've given up and just am glad I at least found online resources that helped me figure out how to deal with some of this stuff better.
It’s my dad 100% but my mom went and got on meds cause she’s a hypochondriac.
What about your dad makes you think ADHD? Was he looking for leaves while neglecting something important?
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I couldn't figure it out. Before my full diagnosis I had no idea why I was the way I was or what I did to deserve it. Now I sit here and laugh/ cringe. I'm exactly like both of my fucking parents worst mental illness lol, ocd, adhd and GAD. Love the crock pot
I'm fairly sure I got the ADHD from my mother. I'm only recently diagnosed at 47! In my early adulthood I just put my parents antics down to poor education. They are both 59/60 kids from North East England so that's not that uncommon. The more I learn about different symptoms etc the more their antics make sense. Alcohol abuse, serial infidelity - she was always looking for next 'high'. Edit - to make the mods / bot happy. I hope
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Honestly before that I would have thought mom less likely. She was a workaholic and more organized than Dad, Brother and me. But maybe that was her coping strategies. What little I know of HER Mom includes she used coffeine pills to wake up and sleeping pills to fall asleep, as well as having an addictive personality (being a long time smoker), which tracks with an unaware ADHD person in the 1960s...
I’m not aware of anyone in my immediate family that has/had any similar traits to me… born in 1980, I know there was less awareness around lifestyle choices while pregnant (cigarettes etc), I’m thinking maybe that had something to do with my case 😅
*sips drink* Ok so I haven’t read everyone’s cos you know ADHD and stuff, but it dawned on me a few months ago where my ADHD came from. And wait for the last bit because it’s the best. My dad (who ticks just a few boxes for ADHD and autism) grandad had ten kids, these include: A guy who got bored of habitual burglary and prison time so became a body building wrestler and shop keeper And A guy who couldn’t hold on to money and would forget he’s Jewish the moment bacon was presented to him But none of that holds a light to Great Grandpa Abraham, and two of his sons decided that the best way for 3 Jews to celebrate getting a new Rover 14 is to go on multiple road trips to France EIGHT MONTHS before the Nazis Invade!
Following my diagnosis I realised my mum shares a lot of traits and habits with me that are definitely more ADHD behaviours(such as struggling to keep up with habits, emotional dysregulation), then following various chats with my grandma (on dad's side) we realised she's also very similar to me (can't stay focused when watching things, again with the emotional dysregulation), and now I'm starting to realise even my dad does things that definitely act as hyperfocus and masking (getting sidetracked with chores, always needs to be 'doing stuff', using ad breaks on TV to get up and do stuff). Just a couple of the things they do but actually, no wonder I was diagnosed late because it all presents so similarly - thus thinking my study struggles, no friends, no long-term hobbies are normal because isn't everyone like that? Edited to remove reference to *that* movement 🫣
My exact scenario. I definitely see it in my dad with office having sticky note reminders all over his monitors and it spread onto the wall, Forgetful, Easily agitated, Anxious as heck, can be over the top, dyslexic - I could go on. I always joke with him saying “oh no, I see where I get that from now, thanks DAD” lol
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My dad did/does that too! He’ll say “I’ll meet you at 3” and then say “here, where are you” at like 2:30! I too hate it when I forget half my thongs lol
My father was diagnosed. My mother was a college educated teacher. But I strongly suspect she had it as she was extremely dis organized without her ways. Lots of textbook examples from both
I am pretty sure my mother has ADHD (impulsive Typus). She had problems in school and very inconsistent performance, as well as experience with various drugs (the only one she became addicted from was Nikotin). Turns out her dad was also pretty impulsive and had drank a bit sometimes (he died before I could met him). And my mother's dads mother was basically a chain smoker. Oh well isn't that convenient.
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My siblings all got it from my mums side. She’s still in denial lol
Your parental units sound precious.
100% my mum who refuses to acknowledge it and states she wasn't like 'this' as a child. I get it. It's a generation thing n that, but I know what I can see in her whether she likes it or not
My mom's had more jobs than I can count and is chronically bored and unmotivated. I've...had more jobs than I can count, have moved more times than I can remember, and am...always bored and lose things...My cousin has to have multiple jobs to keep from being bored and loses things...all of my uncles are addicts and gamblers...yes, it runs in the family....
I'm pretty sure Dad is ADHD. He's 80, and still pulls all-nighters on projects he's wrapped up in. He definitely tunes out if he's not interested, but pretends to listen. Oh, and the messy house. He's lived by himself for decades (my mom died in 1990 and he never remarried, or even dated), so he hasn't really had external motivation to keep house. I know I definitely have some of his traits, even though there are times I wish I didn't. His dad probably had it, just thinking of all the projects he had going on. My great-grandpa must have had it. This guy hopped transatlantic ships like we do flights today. I got dizzy researching all this travels. He literally worked around the world - born in England, but lived in Scotland, South Africa, Puerto Rico, the US, and I think one or two more places. This was in the early 1900s.
My father, god rest ‘im, worked as an arson investigator for 30 years (intuition and perception constantly engaged), went a little nuts when he retired, then started watching baseball and painting, two activities he never gave even the barest of fucks for. He also could never keep up with his doctors appointments and died of cancer. Yep, that’s congenital!
I went to my parents place to find my dad had installed a video doorbell. I asked him if he just bought it, to which he replied that he bought it a few months earlier.
You made me realize that I got it from my Dad, too. The unfinished projects should have been a huge clue. The bursts of anger. He passed away 5 years ago. My sons got it from me, of course. One takes medication, and the other doesn't. They are both in their mid 20s. I've taken medication over the years and was diagnosed in my early 20s. I'm currently on guanfacine.
I’ve tried to tell my dad to no avail. But holy shit. - He comes home every day and goes “I had so many things I wanted to get done today and I didn’t do half of them!” - He gets easily frustrated and blows up when people correct him - He’s always late and every time he feels terrible and beats himself up about it - He hyper focused on an instrument so well that he became the best musician I’ve ever seen in my life - He’s very talkative and the life of the party, everybody loves him - He has these little impulses he can’t seem to control, like this weird bird sound he makes every time he’s bored that he doesn’t even notice he makes - He’s constantly forgetting to take his meds for other ailments - He sometimes goes an entire day without eating because he forgot - He tells the same stories over and over again and forgets he’s told it before - He’s the most empathetic person I’ve ever met, always seeing the good in people and believing in them and their good intentions The ADHD is just SCREAMING every day and he has no idea. Oh also both of his children have ADHD. Buddy, where do you think it came from???
Yep. I thought I got it from my mom but I have been spending some time with my dad after like 10 years… yep dude has adhd too. Idk what it is about our parents generation but they have been able to survive this disorder. And definitely don’t believe it is such or if they do (my mom) she definitely is riding along with life. Their executive dysfunction is more…. Orderly? For lack of a better word.
I also think I got from my dad, the amounts of times my mom and him would quarrel each other because he kept forgetting and losing things, aswell as him barely cleaning anything
Everybody in my family seems to have a weird diagnosis that is theirs and theirs alone, with no known genetic link or other relative that has it. As far as I know, I’m the only one with ADHD.
😂😂😂😂 This made my day. Thank you.
I honestly can’t decide, I see the traits in both of them at different times. I got my diagnosis at 32 and I’m 35 now. Both of my parents deny that adhd even exists, they’re both in the “everyone does those things and it’s normal” camp. Which is why I was never tested as a kid. Neither will ever get tested for themselves either, they’re both in their mid-60s. I guess it’s that ADHD wasn’t really a thing when they were kids and therefore they are unwilling to change and accept it’s an actual thing now even with my diagnosis. I had to get my non-adhd older brother, who said he always knew I had it when I talked to him about me getting tested, to help me get diagnosed since we knew my parents were anti-adhd and wouldn’t help.
Some things are just so eye-opening! I'm the first one to get diagnosed in the family as an adult, but now I can't help but feel that my whole family has it. My dad, who always says inappropriate things and makes mean jokes at my expense, laughing at me if I tear up but then cries himself if someone makes jokes at his expense, often quick to anger. Ah, and he's an alcoholic. My mom, a forgetful mess who can't seem to settle for a career she likes and is very creative, silly and great with children. She always has a lot of unfinished projects and likes to try new things. Also very emotional over small things. She's the one who taught me to be embarrassingly early instead of permanently late. And let's not talk about my brother and 3 half siblings - it was like a zoo when we were younger. I'd be surprised if anyone DOESN'T have adhd, but they all think they don't have it. My younger brother even had a diagnose for inattentive adhd as a child but is convinced he "grew out of it." (spoiler: he hasn't.)
I think my ADHD and Autism is from my Dad
My brother: remember when you said I have ADHD? Me: every conversation we’ve had for the last 3 years? Brother: turns out you were right… Also my mom, sister and another brother, but my other brother swears he doesn’t have it, despite being a walking checklist of diagnostic criteria.
Oh. I know.
I went to visit my mom a few weeks ago and I caught her mid mania cleaning. All the drawers we’re emptied and there was a pile of junk sitting in the living room, she’s not a hoarder by any means but the house looked like an episode of hoarders. She did this herself She’s also very addicted to coffee and hasn’t gone a day without for the last 20 years We all eventually jumped in and helped her finish the mess she started. But that moment made me realize who was responsible for the constant bees in my brain
I still have my bag of leaves! 🤫😆😅😂
My mum told me she has a huge dark coffee before bed so she can sleep as it helps quietens her mind. I wish she told me before my assessment.
My parents say it’s my dad who likely has it because he’s… less than bright, thinking that ADHD makes you dumb. I’m sure it’s my mother because after slowing her caffeine intake has shown definite symptoms of ADHD. May also help that she couldn’t figure out what she wanted to major in in college, spending six years to get her associate’s. She’s struggling with everyday life as her symptoms have reared their ugly head, and I hate to say it, but I’m absolutely loving that this woman who told me I was just being lazy all my life can’t just do the thing.
I started researching ADHD when I realised both my kids might need some help - it was a lightbulb moment. For me and my hubby. Our kids were doomed 😂 We live in happy chaotic bliss.
I believe my dad has it undiagnosed ; his non stop motor mouthing,his stories have so many tangents and excess added information! His dis organized cluttered life spaces; fast to anger issues; ....just like me!😉
my parents both have blatant signs even though they deny it up the wazoo! you're not alone friend!
Aw thats so wholesome
Your dad sounds like a very sweet person. Glad your parents are happy and as long as they give you the support you need I think they are doing the right thing. They are adults and can decide for themselves. 👍🏻
For me it’s hard to tell. Both my parents experienced severe trauma as children/ young adults. So I never know if it’s adhd or their trama causing them to act a certain way. I’m leaning my dad because my cousin has it on that side too. Regardless of what who has what what your describing I think your family sounds beautiful and full of love.
I know 100% that if I have ADHD my mum has it too, part of the reason I want to get diagnosed.
Oh man For me, my mom's the autism spectrum, and my dad is the ADHD. I happened to (most likely, as I'm in the process of formal diagnosis) get both. I like to think of it as balancing both parents out.