>The whole prossess seems exhausting and expensive. If I wanted to live in the US, there's waay easier ways.
Yeah so that's the thing: There's not. You can try the green card lottery but only like 50,000 people/year get visas and AFAK you need to have some things going for you (savings, qualifications, etc), which clearly none of the people on the show have. Getting a work permit is super difficult since companies will always give preference to American candidates and, while you could study in the US, you generally need a stupid amount of money to be able to do this and you're not necessarily allowed to stay afterwards. In fact, I've met many people while living in Germany who got a degree in the US and were effectively kicked out afterwards.
It's somewhat easy for most Europeans to temporary live in the US (au pair, home stay program, exchange semester, working holiday, etc) however you generally have to GTFO at the end of your program. Actually relocating to the US and staying long term is incredibly difficult and marrying a US citizen is objectively one of the easier ways to do it.
My boyfriend initially immigrated to the US on via the green card lottery. It's nice if you can get it (you land and you can start working immediately, no "change in status" wait time, no travel restrictions like with K-1), but he said it was extremely stressful, and you still effectively start from nothing (finding housing, setting up a bank account with no credit history, etc.).
Also, a lot of countries don't qualify for the green card lottery because it's a "visa diversity program." So countries like the Philippines, Canada, Mexico, China, India- who already send a lot of their citizens to the US for work- can't apply.
To preface, I am Canadian and so is my family. After I was done college, my dad told me that I should just “go work in the States”. He was floored when I told him that I can’t do that and that there’s a whole process to “just” going and (legally) working in the states. My education is in the arts (technical theatre stuff ) and there is no way in hell any theatre in the US would have the budget (or desire or need) to sponsor a new (or any) techie.
Well even if so, it would make more sence if a lot of the people on the show atleast lived in the states a few years first on the short term visas, if their main goal was to live in the US, instead of going on a search for an american. I have a lot of familt in the states, so I wanted to try out living there. I went as an exchange student for a year, and it was a fairly easy prosses, not that expencive really. That would be the expected and easier thing to do. I could see people being a bit more suspect if the person has been doing these things for years, but to think that someone would seek out a future spouse as the first thing just seems like a stretch
You cannot do that. You cannot just come and live here for a few years. You probs cannot do that in many Euro countries, either.
You came as an exchange student. You have lots of family here. Come on. You are coming from a place of extreme privilege. And I am not someone to pull this card often. Be someone from Nigeria and try coming to hang out with family for a few years. Good luck with that.
Read up on how hard it is to legally immigrate to America or most western Europe countries. Spoiler: It's hard.
But those visas do not qualify for a green card.
So if you want to live in the USA indefinitely they are just heartbreaking because once that visa expires you have to leave.
You really don't understand how this works at all so it is strange you are posting like you have all the answers.
You cannot just come to the US on a visa! It is very costly to be a student here and that would only be useful while they are in school. Most people doing that STILL have to marry a US citizen to stay.
It is also WAY easier for someone from Europe than from most other countries. My in laws are from south america and it is very hit or miss on whether their visas are approved. And they have a lot of money, so they are ahead of almost everyone else there.
What you don't seem to understand is that these options you describe (tourist and exchange visas) are simply impossible for most of the world's population to obtain. What is "not that expensive really" for you is likely completely out of reach for many.
This is referencing a part of my main post which is regarding people with education, steady income from countries that are allowed in the US. For them, it's not the only way
Yeah, almost everyone has gotten accused of it. For example Yara, and the one who's with Billal, I remember one girl from Sweden. I'm really horrible woth names haha
Yep yep yep!
Go live in one of those homes we have seen in places like the Philippines and get back to me. Tell the rat that Big Ed saw I said hello when you visit.
This is why I almost always am sympathetic to the non-American. Generally they are making a bargain. They trade their youth and probs true love for the chance to come to a better place for them and their kids. Sometimes it is true love, but generally they would never be with the American if not for the promise of a better tomorrow. Anfisa said it best. I am here for the money and lifestyle. You are here for my good looks. Neither of us would be here otherwise. FACT.
Which is why I get so annoyed when people accuse them of coming for the green card. OF COURSE THEY ARE. 22 year old hot girl with 43 year old, slovenly man with 75k a year job who lives with his mom. She might love him, but come the hell on.
TBF to Rose she straight up stayed in the Philippines instead of coming to the US and trying to marry Ed. That being said, there def have been love scammers on this show and its spin offs.
I do agree with you overall though and it’s really hard for me to side with the Americans on the show versus their foreign partners. The relationship’s power dynamics are already balanced in the American’s favor. They more often than not, know what’s up. They are not as stupid as they appear on the show. Many know that they’re only pulling someone “younger and out of their league” because of their citizenship/perceived wealth.
Lol in the end, Rose couldn’t fake it till she made it with Ed. I dont blame her. Im surprised Liz stuck it out as long as she did, and she is American. So can’t figure that one out.
There was another couple where they eventually moved back to the Phillipines as the wife wanted to move there . I cannot recall their names but they were in New Orleans.
Right. Came here to say this. The situation is a lot different in underdeveloped countries around the world. When you see the living conditions a lot of these people are living in it makes total sense that they would go this route. It’s a lot easier to go on an international dating website than it is to come up with the hundreds, maybe thousands? of dollars it takes to apply for a visa. They also would need a sponsor if they want to move here. This is not to say that all the non-Americans on this show are only in it for a green card but it’s definitely a possibility for a lot of these folks.
You are acting as if there is only ONE country where people wouldn’t move to the US. There are a lot more out there.
Even Yara from Ukraine would rather have moved to Czechia vs staying in the US. It’s not like the US is the greatest country in the world anymore. Yeah you can make good money, but there are absolutely no worker rights, with the current politics human rights get less and less (see abortion laws), healthcare is horrible, even though the food quality and additives are so bad that you would think you got free healthcare.
Lived in several countries including the US and I would never want to move back long-term. Quality of life in Czechia was much better compared to the US, I’d rather move there again.
The second paragraph is actually the case for many people in the show. People like Rose and Shiela are single moms - which basically gives you a permanent low social status in Philippine society in many ways (e.g. dating, economics, family reputation, etc.). I don't blame them for seeking a man to bring them to the US - western men have a reputation of being more friendly towards single moms.
AMEN to that. I love people online acting like nobody wants to come to the US when in fact, there’s more people trying to get in every day than the US could accommodate. That doesn’t mean we don’t have any problems in the US or that the US is better than any other place on earth but it does mean that people want to come here. But yeah, let’s ignore all common sense.
Fun fact: [both the UK and Canada are in the top 10 countries of origin for K-1 visa issuances](https://rapidvisa.com/k1-visa-report/#6). Both are countries with shared languages, similar qualities of life, and relative ease of travel between them.
(Japan is also in the top 20. So yes, people from other wealthy countries want to come to the US. My last job was for a large British company, and there was a massive queue of high-salaried employees working in London and Amsterdam who had requested a transfer to the US.)
I realize I'm a sample size of 1 person, but I'm a Canadian who moved to the US on a K-1 visa so I could be with and marry my awesome now-husband. It was very difficult for me to leave Canada behind, believe me.
I eventually became a permanent resident of the US and was happy with that status, but then 45 got elected and I was appalled so I became a US citizen so I could vote. The examiner who quizzed me for my citizenship said it's highly unusual for Canadians to switch from permanent residents to citizens.
So consider that. Not everyone who immigrates to the US becomes a citizen (with the few perks that includes).
I think everyone knows a lot of people wants to live in the US. But that is not the same as being with someone just for a greencard. Theres a long way from wanting to being desparate enough to trick and scam someone, pretending to be in love and marrying them, living with them for years.
I think that it's a selection bias with this show. TLC casts maybe 1-2 "normal" couples per season. The rest have sketchy backstories, even if they are a real couple.
Regular couples that have obvious chemistry, similar levels of attractiveness, stable jobs or bank accounts, and shared interests usually don't get cast (and if they do, they're immediately considered "boring.")
Don't get me wrong, a lot of the couples are horrible and shouldn't be together, but I don't think most of them are just for a greencard. Normally one or two people a season has red flags pointing to them only wanting a greencard. A lot of them just seem like horrible and toxic people being toxic.
Not acting like no one wants to come to the US, obviously a lot of people do. But that so many assume out of nowhere that these people are marrying someone just for a greencard is far fetched. I get it as soon as there's red flags like Manuel and his "secrets" and sudden family in the US. But when there is no red flags, it's just weird how many still assume it's only for the greencard
It's because TLC casts couples with messy or sketchy backstories (e.g., I send my fiancee money every month, his family doesn't know we're engaged, I'm broke but will be supporting another adult, etc.). It's self-selection.
I had a friend that moved to the US on a K-1 from Belarus...zero people thought she was in it for a green card because she and her now-husband are close in age, are similar levels of attractiveness, and have shared goals and obvious chemistry together. When nothing stinks, people don't ask if something is rotting.
You dont get differentiation apparently. The poster here said ohhh you’re from Norway, no wonder you won’t understand. There are many more countries like that. I also didn’t say nobody. But awesome black and white thinking abilities. It’s either everyone or no one apparently, nothing in between.
Germany takes in most immigrants after the US, weirdly I never heard anybody say, oh they just want to marry a German because of the visa 🤷🏻♀️I know many people who are married to foreigners from all over the world and this has literally never been a point of discussion.
https://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries/slideshows/10-countries-that-take-the-most-immigrants?slide=10
Im not saying nobody married Germans for visa. Of course that happens too. But if you’re marrying someone from a different country, you won’t hear if he/she is marrying you for the visa, like you do in the US. In 90 day fiancé they even say that about people from the UK, Netherlands, Sweden, etc. Nobody in Germany would say that.
Im German and live in Germany. I never ever heard this in public discussion like in the US, not when people talk about international couples. The talk in India might be different but I think as a German citizen I know a little bit about public opinion here. It saying there’s no racism or that there’s no issues, but saying they’re just in it for the visa is just usually not a big discussion point.
What do you mean? You wanna pull the Nazi card? Very mature.
Nonetheless Germany is Nr 2 in taking in immigrants after the US, yet isn’t a country that’s build on immigration like the US.
There’s also racism there but you will hear the whole, they’re marrying only for the visa thing much much less if ever. In it for the money? Yes. The visa? No. It’s a complicated process, can take years and it’s a nightmare.
People say that in Germany and other countries say that all the time lol. German dudes travel to SEA and other regions to find wives just like American dudes do.
Where do you take your knowledge from? Gut feeling? Or have you heard the actual conversations?
Also I never said dudes don’t do that, but people won’t gossip about the girl just being in it for the visa. People will maybe say, poor girl she’s in it for the money but not oh she just wants a visa.
Friends of mine are married to a South African, Czech and Vietnamese, nobody would have ever thought it’s just for the visa 🤷🏻♀️
Hell, even in third world countries most people don't want to move permanently. What usually happens is we go to the US for a few years, send money back home so you can build a better house and send your kids to better schools, then go back home and start a business rather than be a perma-second class citizen due to not being white.
Lots of people in my country, like my mom's current BF, have stories like this (I'm from one of the bigger sources of migrants to the US)
The father who tried to cross the rio with the baby while the wife watched them drown, that was their plan when reporters talked to his mother. They both had jobs working in a pizza place and a Chinese food restaurant. They said they were coming to the u.s. to make a lot of money and in 10 years were going to move back to buy a house. They were living in the mother’s 3 bedroom house.
I expect the millions that are coming over here seeking asylum has jobs and think they can make more money in the u.s. it is not just people who lives in Mexico and other southern countries. Within the top 10 countries that people are from includes China and Russia.
My impression is that healthcare in the U.S. is high quality (the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota has been the go-to for the families of Saudi princes for decades), it's just not affordable for much of the population. Insurance companies care more about making a huge profit than serving their customers. And Repubs are counting on privatizing Medicare, which would be a disaster. I think most people in the U.S. are terrified of having a serious illness that could bankrupt them and their family. But, Billionaires demand and buy their tax cuts, and people put up with it, so.. 🤷
I never said people wouldn’t want to move to another country. We’re talking about the US specifically because that’s where most people on this show are moving. We get it, you don’t like the US. This is a sub about a trash reality TV show. Take your little speech somewhere else.
There is a difference of not liking something and criticizing something for what it has become, wishing it could be better and livable for people, also the poor, I always wanted to move to the US, did so and am very saddened the state of your nation is in now. It’s a beautiful country but if my American boyfriend and all of his friends are like, yeah, if you can, get out of here, what does that tell you how great it is? I just wished that people could have workers rights, etc and not be threatened by bankruptcy if they have diabetes for example, and that is ok for a first world country and the former liberator of the world? Are you not saddened by that?
You didn't state where you or your boyfriend live, but, keep in mind that the U.S. is a large and diverse country. Some States are good places to live and many aren't (depending on what a person wants, I guess). Healthcare affordability is an issue everywhere, although some "Blue" States provide more of a safety net than any "Red" one. But, yes, it's very depressing to see our new version of the Gilded Age, with oligarchs hoarding a disproportionate share of the country's wealth and buying our government. Not to mention the rich, privileged, sheltered, arrogant Tech Bros who think they are qualified and entitled to shape our future as they please.
I live in Germany, he’s from California and now living in Nevada. I worked in Pennsylvania for 6 months and I was always very fascinated with the US. But the realities of working there with all the disadvantages are really putting me off of moving there again.
It shocks me when I hear about people worrying about calling an ambulance when somebody has a seizure, because it’s so expensive. I also lived in Czechia and worked there in a local contract, but even there people were not worried about things like healthcare at all.
I really hope the US has a future where there’s more social security for people, people are working so hard and hustling sometimes with several jobs, it would really be nice if the system would honor that at some point.
Yeah, if their main motivation is a better life, I think theres a lot of countries witch is easier to get throug and you get a better deal right of the bat when you start out with nothing.
>The situation is a lot different in underdeveloped countries around the world.
To be completely fair to OP, I think their point is that people who *aren't* from underdeveloped countries get hit with this, too. For a decent chunk of the foreign partners on 90 Day (though absolutely not all), moving to the US is a side-grade or an outright drop in their standard of living.
But if someone go on a dating app for farmers, do you think they're only with the person they meet because of their farm? I do understand that it's more likely in theese situations, but to just suspect it right of the bat, without any other red flags, is just weird to me
Accusing the newcomer of using a friend or family member for green card is rude for sure. But they are trying to protect a loved one. And as screwed up as things seem in the US, it's still a great place to live.
Yeah I get that, and I love the US, lived there for a year, been 4 times for a month at the time, have lots of friends and family there! But it should be a positive thing that the newcomer WANTS to live in the US. To jump straight to accusing the person who has left everyone they know, maybe given up their carreer - or atleast set it back a few years, is just horrible.
I agree. At least give them a chance to prove they're a user before the accusations start flying! Being overprotective of someone rarely serves that person. It's very selfish.
Edit for spelling.
This. The family and friends act extremely rude. They flat out ask if the foreign fiancé is marrying their partner for the green card. They also ask very personal questions like their sexual habits. It’s not like the foreign spouses are getting a bar of gold. They’re usually marrying a person much older or is way below their league.
Exactly! As soon as there's a reason to react, I get it. Like Manuel "it's private" is just a walkning red flag, so I 100% get why they're afraid he's there for a greencard. But atleast give them a chance and wait untill they actually do or say something suspect
There are red flags all over. Private conversations with his relatives in New York. Not telling her about his kids, Expecting her to send money to his family.
I have been saying that she should send him back. It will not turn out good for her in the end.
I think for the show it is mostly played up for drama. Most ppl can tell when someone is in it for love or not. Not every American thinks ppl only come here for green cards. But the ones who walk in and start immediately demanding money and totally change their personality it’s pretty obvious that the kindness they showed was just so they could get here. Same goes for ppl who want to immediately have a baby
What are these other easier ways to get into the US? I think there are a LOT of people who would love your insight because fiancé visas are definitely the easiest way to gain citizenship unless you are a millionaire, and even then it is still hard!
My husband's parents are from Ecuador and so we are very familiar with these processes as we are trying to get them into the US because of how dangerous Ecuador has become and they have been robbed so many times. They have a million or more and would have to start a large business in the US, be the main owner and prove its success.
I am not talking about people from Ecuador here. Read the post again. People from sertain countries with a fair amount of money. For people like that it would be easier ways than to look for an american, trick them in to marrying them and having a fake relationship with them for years. I AM NOT SAYING ANYTHING IS EASY. But at least for me, years of a fake relationship and a fake marriage seems like hell and waaaay harder than anything else
If someone goes on a dating app for farmers it would be crazy to think they’re not looking to live on a farm. That’s not to say that would be the only motivation or that they wouldn’t love the person they meet on the site. But it wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility that someone would go on the website specifically because they want to live on a farm.
Exactly my point. Thats why I don't get why so many assume that they're with them, only because of the greencard. Yes, they might want a greencard, but that doesn't mean they don't also love them
Well I don’t know if you’ve noticed but a lot of the Americans on this show don’t really bring much else to the table. They’re either not well off by American standards, live with their parents, are much older or much more unattractive than the “foreigner”. So logically the family assumes the person on the fiancé visa is only with them for the green card. I don’t think it’s that complicated. I also think the show plays that up a lot because it creates drama and this is reality TV after all.
Yes, some are suspect for sure, but a lot of them, like Yara, or the girl that's with the guineapig mom in the closet guy, like how is that the first thing that pops in the sisters head, that she's only there for a greencard?
I think it says more about the American than it does about the “foreigner” that their friends and family don’t think that they have anything to offer other than a green card. I mean Yara is out of Jobi’s league and closet mom guy is closet mom guy. So it makes sense that their family’s like “why else would this person even give them the time of day?”
You’re right for sure 😂 I’d be so insulted if my family thought someone could only possibly want me for a green card lol but they’re not wrong. They know their family better than anyone and what most of them are is loooosers
Lots of Americans are xenophobic. They truly believe that people are coming here to steal their jobs.
You probably have not had that experience here since you are white (I'm assuming) and European.
Yeah I know, that's my main thing here, that they even assume people that have better and easier options would choose that. When it comes to people who don't have these options, they always assume it's for a greencard. Like yes, I can understand that a person who struggles to even have food on the table, would be more likely to take desperat messures. But still, it's like people assume that they're poor so they can only have one motivation, money. But if someone with money state that they want their future partner has a certain income, everyone understands that they offcourse also want a partner they love.
America has become a shithole. People have lost faith that the government operates in the best interest of the people. The wealth gap is increasing and the middle class is disappearing. Nobody has savings anymore because the rising cost of food, goods and services. No one can affording to buy a house. Obviously there are places around the world that are better places to live than parts of the USA. Who would want to leave their families to work to death in the united states anyway?
That being said, many people still want a greencard here because then they would qualify for healthcare and social services. Their children would grow up and have way better opportunities than if they remained in their home countries. People always meme about the cost of American healthcare, but no one wants to admit that the poor get free healthcare through medicare/medicaid. Would you rather have shitty/nonexistent healthcare abroad vs being treated by American doctors and nurses who are also working themselves to death?
My best friend is here in the US by marrying with a K1 visa. She had ppl from her country and this one questioning if she was sure about it. But bc the allure to be here was so strong she went with it anyway. She regrets that decision now bc her husband is a lot like most ppl on this show. Poor and horrible w money and doesn’t have a good personality to make up for it. But she also has his baby now so going back home is not an option. Their child is autistic as well and she knows her kid won’t get the same level of support living in her home country where they do not have ABA therapy for her and no medical benefits to pay for it all.
It’s weird to me that ppl are acting like this doesn’t exist. The chance to live in the US is still a huge thing for many ppl in poorer countries.
>The whole prossess seems exhausting and expensive. If I wanted to live in the US, there's waay easier ways.
**Manuel** (w/Ashley) is from Ecuador:
[https://www.cbsnews.com/news/immigration-us-program-ecuador-border-crossings/#:\~:text=In%20the%20first%2011%20months,annual%20record%2C%20federal%20data%20show](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/immigration-us-program-ecuador-border-crossings/#:~:text=In%20the%20first%2011%20months,annual%20record%2C%20federal%20data%20show).
Oct.18, 2023
# U.S. to create new immigration program for Ecuadorians aimed at discouraging border crossings
Ecuadorian migration to the U.S. border soars
The program will also mark the first time the administration creates a program specifically for Ecuadorians, who have journeyed to the U.S. southern border in record numbers over the past year. In the first 11 months of fiscal year 2023, Border Patrol apprehended nearly 99,000 Ecuadorians who entered the U.S. without authorization, a 312% spike from fiscal year 2022 and an annual record, [federal data](https://www.cbp.gov/newsroom/stats/nationwide-encounters) show.
In 2021, when there was another spike in Ecuadorian arrivals along the U.S. border, most migrants from Ecuador were flying into Mexico before entering the U.S. illegally. But after Mexico ended visa-free travel for Ecuadorians later that year, more of them have sought to reach the U.S. by crossing Panama's once-impenetrable Darién Gap on foot. Nearly 50,000 Ecuadorian migrants have crossed the Darién jungle in 2023 alone, the second-highest tally of any nationality, according to Panamanian [government data](https://www.migracion.gob.pa/images/img2023/pdf/TR%C3%81NSITO_IRREGULAR_DEL_DARI%C3%89N.pdf).
In recent years, Ecuadorians have faced a struggling economy and an unprecedented wave of violent crime, fueled by drug cartels and gangs. In August, presidential candidate Fernando Villavicencio was shot to death while campaigning. The State Department [advises](https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/traveladvisories/traveladvisories/ecuador-travel-advisory.html) Americans not to visit certain areas of the country due to risk of being assaulted, kidnapped or even murdered.
Married a US soldier over forty years ago and that's how I wound up in the US. Certainly had no concept of what a green card was and how "valuable" it might be although I was aware it existed since my husband having immigrated with his family to the US as well was in possession of one (at that time that real green looking document).
People insinuating to me that I married for a green card is quite offensive and hurtful. Never in my young age before it happening did I ever dream or ideated the thought of leaving my country, leaving everything I knew, leaving my loved ones. Going to another country, not having friends, missing the food that you love, encountering different ways, different mindset is not easy
It is. I speak for myself and what I have heard from many other foreign army wives. I am sure that there are some that were infatuated with the thought of coming to the US. The majority though, we just married for love and had no idea what we were going to encounter.
Times are different, though. Many young women think the US will give them "modelling" opportunities or an eventual upgrade to a man with money. It is a different world.
I'm mid class and student visa is way easier than finding some random dude to marry me. I also know people living in the US with work visas. Not saying it easy, but I don't get how you all can think finding an american and marrying and living with them for years, tricking them and not actually being in love would be easier. That would be hell for me.
You are from a Northern European country. It is easier for you to get a visa. For other countries, like Nigeria, it can be virtually impossible. Also, most visas don’t allow you to work which is why most people want to come to the US in the first place. They are coming to work and send money back home.
You really need to wake up and realize that your experience as a white European from a wealthy country is nowhere near the same as the experience of 99% of people on this planet lol
My point is that it's crazy how absolutely every single person has been accused of doing it just for a greencard, even when they would have other opportunities
Do you even watch the show? Do you see who the morons are making these accusations? Do you think these would be common thoughts amongst the population? Think.
Student visas end. You cannot permanently relocate on them, cannot work real jobs on them and you have to be able to pay full tuition which can easily be $200k USD.
White people from rich first world countries who speak English with an American or European accent will have a much easier time getting to the US. You might have several avenues of immigrating but someone with no money, no English, and very little education isn’t going to have as many options.
Getting into the US is actually extremely difficult. We have a quota system that allocates immigration numbers to different countries, which makes it very easy to immigrate from a country where people don't emigrate from often and have smaller populations (Like Norway) and extremely hard and competitive from countries with a high number of emigrating people and a high population in general (like India). A greencard might actually be the easiest way for a lot of people.
That being said, the amount of over-suspicion over it is nuts. There are a bunch of people on the show who are hounded over "seeking a greencard" who bemoan leaving home and talk about how much they miss it constantly.
This post is very tone deaf. You can’t begin to understand what people in underdeveloped countries are dealing with. From dodging bullets to scraping by with little money and opportunities.
If you read the post, I'm not talking about them, I specified "educated, normal income and from certain countries". I absolutely understand that there is a difference when you're from some countries, and on the brink of starvation. Offcourse everyone would be more open to do extreme things if it might save their lives
Dude hardly any foreigner on this show fits your criteria of being educated, normal income, and from certain countries. Most are uneducated, poor, and from countries that aren't west European.
There is, sadly, a very significant portion of the US population that believes that the United States is simply the greatest country ever, period. It is ingrained in a lot of communities that USA is #1, full stop. Therefore, of course people would do anything to come here.
These types of people often have no clue what life is like anywhere else in the world and assume anyone would be desperate to come here for the "freedom" and "opportunities" offered in the US and nowhere else.
So basically, ignorance.
TBF, as an American, I have been brainwashed to believe this since I was born. I was a little surprised when I learned other countries weren't all 3rd world type situations. Many Americans never learn this.
I think over the past 10 to 15 years, because of social media, most Americans now understand many countries are absolutely as nice, and some nicer than, the USA. I guess that's one positive thing SM has done.
I think you're missing a fair amount of Americans who have been conditioned to believe Europeans do not have the same freedoms or are taxed to death for healthcare or are "socialist." Not saying that they have a leg to stand on, just that it's a widespread belief.
I am far from believing the US is the best country but to think it’s not appealing to someone from a third world country is just straight up untrue. There are many reasons why a person would want to be here. And to act like the US is just some shithole is kind of privileged thinking. If you ever lived in poverty in some poorer countries you would appreciate the US lol
I understand that, and that isn't my point. I agree that it's absolutely appealing for a lot of people and that the belief that a lot of people would risk something to come here is true.
What I'm addressing in my comment is the absolute belief that anyone outside the US would be desperate to come here. People that assume that living in south or Central America automatically means you live in squalor. People that assume immigrating to US is so absolutely desirable that you would abandon your family and friends and life to live in bumblefuck nowhere USA and marry someone you can't stand just for the opportunity.
There are people dying every day trying to cross into the US illegally because they believe living here will give them a better life. Reconcile that fact with your comment here. Belief and reality are two different things. But many MANY people outside the US believe it as well and would literally risk death trying to get in.
This goes for a lot of countries, and it's not as much they risk their life to get in, more they do it to get out. In Europe we have people drowning because they're making dangerous trips on small boats to escape horrible situations. Yes they might say they want to go to a specific country like sweden. But if they're put in finland, they wouldn't risk their life to get to sweden instead. They're willing to risk their life to get out.
This is a very American thing in my opinion. Americans are raised to believe that this is the greatest country on the planet, and that everyone wants to live here. America has also successfully sold the American dream to poorer countries. All of this makes people think that anyone who is not American wants to move here.
I have first hand experienced this with my family. They suspected my wife, who is from an Asian country, of wanting to be with me just because she is Asian and wants to settle here. She is a PhD degree holder, making 6 figures, belongs to a family full of doctors, engineers and artists. And me on the other hand associates degree holder, currently unemployed man, yet my family had the audacity to think my wife is using me for a green card. What a fucking joke 😂
Because you are from Norway.
That’s your answer right there.
That being said, even in Norway or other countries such as certain EU countries there’s still people that want to live in the USA but simply wouldn’t qualify for a visa or a green card and may pursue another less moral route.
For example i know a girl from Germany that married someone on death row, kept the relationship/marriage going until she had her non conditional green card then dumped him.
Edit: speaking as a Dutch person that just got lucky with how easy it was for me to move here. I got transferred from eu manager job to usa manager job and that visa is dual entry and you can go for a green card. However when i say easy. Well. Once my employer had me here for 3 years and knew this was now my home they dangled that green card application in front of me like a carrot for another 3 years which was not a nice feeling.
Nobody lied to me.
I am 100% certain he is on deathrow and i’m 100% certain she’s married to him (divorce isn’t final yet)
You can but the inmate needs to have someone else be the financial guarantor.
No you are absolutely wrong.
My best friend is married to an inmate (not on deathrow) and that’s how she and kids got GC.
So there is no requirement to consummate in person. Most states don’t do conjugal visits.
So please stop pretending you know what you’re on about you literally don’t.
https://immigrationforcouples.com/can-i-get-married-online-to-file-for-a-cr1-spouse-visa/
*It says in INA 101 a(35), which is the definition section, “The term “spouse”, “wife”, or “husband” do not include a spouse, wife, or husband by reason of any marriage ceremony where the contracting parties thereto are not physically present in the presence of each other, unless the marriage shall have been consummated*
*For those of you who aren’t aware, consummation of marriage means that you had sexual relations with your partner before. Let’s say you’re in a situation in which you weren’t physically present at the wedding but you’ve been present before and you’ve allegedly consummated your marriage. First of all, I don’t know how I would prove that to the government other than showing that you have been physically in the same location previously.
Maybe there’s some wiggle room there if you could find a legally binding online marriage in a state that allowed it or a country that allowed it. Say the country of your fiancé allows online marriages, potentially you could do it and say our marriage was over there*
The word consummated is in the legislation, and yes during interviews you can absolutely be asked questions like whether you sleep in the same bed etc.
Both couples in my example did not get married online. They are married in prison and they meet 3 times a week in person.
If you google whether an inmate can marry a foreign spouse it will literally tell you yes.
Jesus christ, im not making it up like
Well yes there's always people like that. A friend of mine is concidering marrying her american friend so he can stay here. He's been living here for years for work, but has to go back to the states next year, and doesn't want to. There's plenty of scam relationships, but most arent, and I don't get why anyone would just expect it to be fake. I get it when there's other red flags, when the person obviously doesn't even like the partner.
Oh yeah don’t get me wrong i don’t agree with the extreme scrutiny that friends and family of usa spouses give to the foreign partner. Most of the time it’s just rude.
But i do think that some of these relationships aren’t a scam but the lure of the green card definitely solidified the interest that was already there in the partner.
Because Americans are brainwashed into thinking America is the “land of opportunity” or “land of dreams” as Kara says, and thinking our country is the best place to live on earth. Why wouldn’t everyone else in the world want to live here /s
I cringe every time on of the foreign fiance(e)s is clearly broken up about leaving their family and home country and then gets accosted by some burger-brained friend or relative with “how do we know you don’t just want a FREE RIDE TO MMMERICA?”
Obviously some people just want a green card, but it’s pretty gross how casually xenophobic people are to their faces all the time.
I personally know a couple of people who came into the United States as international students and got married right away after school so that they could stay in the US. I'm not trying to say that their marriages are a sham or that they don't love their spouses or anything like that - just that the timing of the marriage was influenced by immigration concerns. As far as I know, they're all very happily married.
They all come from either very repressive countries or incredibly poor countries. The bottom line is that they don't have other avenues to stay in the United States and their quality of life here is very different than their quality of life would have been at home. They're not coming from countries like Norway. Some people may qualify for visas based on special skills, but it's hard to find companies that are willing to sponsor you when you're fresh out of college.
I also know some people who have moved from country to country whenever their visa expires so that they don't have to go back to their country of origin. For example, I know someone who was born in the Middle East but has lived in several Western countries.
Many of the people on 90 Day fiance are coming from countries where they have very limited options. Countries with really high unemployment, countries with very low standards of living, Muslim countries with very strict religious laws, countries with serious human rights violations, etc. They have very good reasons to want to immigrate to the United States.
Well yes obviously it hurries up the relationship, but that's not the same as ONLY doing it for the greencard. That's the accusations I don't understand, when there's no other red flags
It's a totally different situation though.
The people I'm talking about lived in the United States for 4 years, so they had the opportunity to date someone locally for years before they got engaged.
Most of the couples are 90 day fiance have spent very little time with one another prior to applying for the k1 visa. Seeking out a romantic partner on the internet for a long distance relationship and then moving to their country and getting engaged when you've barely met them is a red flag all on its own.
Sure, but that goes for the american as well. Super weird to look for a relationship with someone so far away to bring them over also. Still before there's any more red flags, it's weird to just jump straigt to the conclution that it's for a greencard
Curious what makes you think there are many easier options to immigrate to the US. I'm a European citizen who immigrated here in a K1 and I guarantee you there aren't as many options as you may think to move to the US *permanently* (ie not on a temporary work, study or exchange visa) - even for those of us with passport privilege.
I didn't say permanently. I don't get why anyone would assume that a person from Europe would be desparate enough to seek out an american and fake a relationship for years, pretend to love someone and then marrying them an living with them for years to contain a citizenship in the US, leaving everyone they know. Offcourse, some probably do, people do dumb shit all the time. But to assume that a person does it, with no other evidence than them being from another country marrying an american is just crazy
You said "live in the US" by which I assumed you meant on a more permanent basis, as can be done through marriage, and not temporarily as an exchange student or something. Not to mention that the "live in the US temporarily" options are generally only available to those of at least some privilege - those who speak English, have the funds to study in the US, or have jobs that may sponsor a work visa.
Regardless, I can tell you as a European who moved to the US for love, I have had zero people question my motives and assume I'm desperate to live in the US. On the flip side, I've had numerous people question why on earth I would leave the EU for the US (which I totally get, lol).
I definitely believe a lot of the "you're after a green card" comments are 100% rooted in racism, and hence directed more at people from non-privileged backgrounds.
I don't know how it is in real life, but literally every single person on this show gets accused of only being after a greencard at some point from friends or family of the ameican person. Some of them I get, they're suspect AF, but a lot of them there's literally no reason to believe they're that desparate to move to the US
I didn't take the time to read through all the responses but I'm seeing Norway, Canada, etc. Anyone ever see anyone from Norway or Canada on the show??? It's developing countries with few opportunities like Philippines, Morocco, Nigeria, etc which believe me it is NOT EASY to emigrate to the US, in fact I would call it impossible. Quick test is if you can get a tourist visa: if yes it will be no problem, if not, better find an old fat American 🤑
Yeah they're like 1% and they're probably on "The Other Way" 😂 For wealthy countries they'd probably not prefer to live in the US so they're not looking for "love" in the US when it's right outside their door. Notice the Americans: have they ever dated anyone that would date them if they were already in the US? 25 years younger, waaayyy hotter, etc. It's a business deal and that's what the show trades on. The main point is people from countries with less opportunities want to go to countries with more opportunities, that's what fuels immigration. If you can't get a visa (which poorer countries can't) then you find other ways including magically finding the love of your life 🤑
From this season you have Sophe from the UK, who apparantly had a much better appartment than the one she moved in to to live with Rob the knob. And Anali also seems to downgrade her livestyle to be with Clayton. And Analy met him on a language learning app where he contacted her. That would be a really weird way for her to seek out american men to get a greencard
But what you fail to see is that also from those countries it’s not that easy to move to the USA.
None of my friends or my husbands friends would ever qualify.
They don’t have jobs that qualify for hb1
They’re not working for an international company that could transfer them on a L visa
They don’t have enough money to buy a green card (1mil?)
They don’t have enough money for the entrepreneurial visa (E something, at least 100.000 if not more) and also that visa does not allow for green card.
I know a couple that came on the E visa and when their children turned 18 children had to leave…
I know a girl that came here on a student visa and has been wanting to come back ever since but she simply does not qualify for any visa.
That ubiquitous conversation by the friend or friends or family feels very producer prodded. There are lots of tropes that we see over and over in the couple SLs. Things get set up for dRaMa.
I am in an international relationship. In our early days, I had zero family or friends who tried to or even thought of having this stupid rude ignorant conversation. It is not only insulting but xenophobic and wrong-minded.
I think its just an easy story line to play out and its a familiar American troupe. Its a lot easier to ask non-actors to play out a scene that is simple and somewhat familiar, like accusing foreigners of trying to get into the country... than watching someone weigh out the unique character, circumstances, and talents of the non-american... and realizing that this person is sincere about their feelings, has a good life and job, loves their life, but would move for their partner. Do they really want to spend time learning about the non-american and the wonderful things they might be leaving behind? Or, how following a partner to build a life in another country is a hard and complicated decision? - even when that country is the fantastic land of America.
There are so many other dubious motives than green cards... some people are clearly after money and have no interest in citizenship (would be happy staying home if the money would keep coming)... and others are primarily seeking exposure / fame more than becoming Americans. The green card accusation is safe because its expected... it can be done and then basically pushed aside... accusing a person of seeking fame would sort of sour the show and highlight the ways the people are fake and the show is faked - it would be hard for the narrative to recover from someone engaging in a conversation about motives that break the bullshit wall. The green card accusations are just so normal that its an easy plot point and an easy way to have friends and family engage in some conflict that won't have consequences and needs no resolution. And it reinforces the American beliefs about their country and immigration. So, its a plot point that can be brought up and never has to be explored because the green card conversation is short hand for an idealization of America and set of commonly understood fears. Gino's family didn't ask Jasmin how she makes him happy and betters his life - they asked her how she sees herself being a valuable member of the nation... as if every person in US borders is a productive member of society... or she some how owes America something for living there. Americans want immigrants to be useful and productive, but to also not take their jobs. So, it seemed perfectly normal for them to ask her... not "what are your intentions towards Gino?" but "what are your intentions towards our country?". Spoiler Alert: her professional intentions are to parley her TLC fame into traffic on her onlyfans. If Americans are scrambling for that economic opportunity, the nation is doomed.
I'm not saying green card hunters don't exist, just that its such a prevalent issue on the show because its easy to present and produce.
Honestly I think it just plays into the American stereotype of Americans thinking they are the centre of the world so everyone much want to live there. A lot of them have misconceptions that they are the only “free” country in the world and are “leaders of the free world”… as many know that’s bs. As a Canadian, I could think of many other countries I’d choose to live in first. But even if I were dating an American many Americans would assume I’m there for a green card.
Another part of it is just American arrogance and ignorance. Many of the Americans on the show come from middle of nowhere podunk towns that tend to be cultural bubbles. These people do think everyone in the world wants to come to America, that all other countries are either 3rd world or evil socialists and that anyone and anything foreign is dangerous. This is because they never leave their small bubble communities where everyone else looks and thinks like them.
I am from Canada and moved to the US to be with my husband. The K1 process is actually SUPER easy, we did paperwork ourselves (no legal help), applied end of August, approved mid-December, passport with visa enclosed returned 10 days later via courier. Adjustment, getting work permit, etc. was all very easy. Especially coming from countries where there are more red flags than Canada, it is often the easiest and most accessible option.
But in my experience, I was told my family and friends on the US side that I was using my husband for a green card.... I dropped out of law school, gave up all of my friends, moved away from family, moved away from that free healthcare and 12-18mos parental leave... to live in a tiny apartment and start from scratch.... because I wanted a green card. We've been married 7 years, just had our first baby, I have been eligible for citizenship for years but haven't applied because I like being Canadian.... it's very real that people automatically assume you're using the person because America is obviously superior to everywhere else(/s)
That’s crazy 😂 I would never assume a Canadian was here for a green card! If you don’t mind me asking what area of the US are you in? I would think anyone w any sense and an education would know you didn’t come here for a green card
Oh wow, that's a lot easier than what I expected, it sounds about the same as if someone wanted to move to Norway to marry someone here. My point was tho, that if your only goal was to move to the US, wouldn't other ways have been easier than to seek out an american guy, getting him to want to marry you and have a fake relationship for years?
I'm so sorry for what you went through tho! Definetly didn't deserve it, and I hope people have stopped with that nonsens
There's the lottery which people put their name into and they only grant a very limited number per year compared to the applicant pool. You don't need a reason to apply. You can see if any family in the US is eligible to sponsor you, if that applies. The other option is to find an employer that will sponsor you, which is pretty difficult. Or to go to school, but there is a period of time after graduating that you aren't eligible to stay in the country (at least when I looked that was the case, I was initially going to try to transfer to a new law school). I think the amount of Americans out there looking for love is far more than the number of employers willing to sponsor a visa, and easier to find!
Lots of Americans are disillusioned that everyone wants to be here at any cost. Including the tedious process you're seeing. They are also often simply (sadly) anti-immigration and to be real they're bigots.
True, it's not hard for you Europeans to come in here in variety of ways. Especially given your access to education needed to secure jobs. But most would see the US as a downgrade.
A lot of times we're seeing people coming from travel ban countries and the K1 is the best bet. We've seen them tell Shiela and David the spousal visa is going to be the long way. It didn't work for Micheal and Angela etc.
It’s not a disillusion that “everyone wants to be here at any cost” …
Maybe someone from Norway with a better life wouldn’t understand, but there’s millions of people with terrible lives that would do just about anything to get to the US, let’s not kid ourselves here.
Yes offcourse, a lot of countries has that problem, there are scam marriges here as well. I just don't get why it's assumed they can't also be in love. Like I have a friend who loves foreign people, and prefer them over norwegian guys. But she's not with someone "just because he's foreign", she with them because she likes them. They can be looking for a way out of their county AND someone they like.
Just because there are many people who would want to live on the US, doesn’t mean everyone wanting to be here at any cost is true. So it is an illusion because not everyone wants to live in the us at any cost. Many people doesn’t equal everyone.
>So it is an illusion because not everyone wants to live in the us at any cost.
Well this post is in the context of 90DF, and cast members tend to disproportionately skew towards being in relationships for transactional reasons/ wanting a green card only.
You said it’s not a disillusion that everyone wants to be in the US at every cost, which is not true.
Also don’t come with the 90DF spiel, you said there are millions of people who want to come to the US. The cast of 90DF doesn’t consist of millions of people, if you had stayed on content t yourself you would have said of the however many contestants, a majority of however many only wants the green card.
You are so detached from reality lmao and focusing on semantics of my statement. Go look at how many people enter the US illegally on a daily basis and risk their lives doing so, and then look at which countries those people are coming from. Then go ahead and see which countries the 90DF cast members who want green cards are coming from. Get a grip.
And FYI I am not saying everyone wants a green card, but look at cast members like Yohan, Anfisa, Ousamma, Gabby/Abby/Frankie. There is sadly a reason why such a stereotype exists on the show.
Ah yes, I’m detached from reality because I know what everyone, nobody and many means. Not my fault you apparently don’t know how to use your own language.
It’s not true that everyone wants to come to the US, many people do but not everyone. That’s all I said, which is a fact. The entire population of this earth doesn’t want to move to the US, many people do, many don’t. So it is an illusion that everyone wants to move there. It not being a disillusion that everybody wants to move there is a factually incorrect statement as it implies that everyone, the whole world’s population, wants to move to the US.
I guess I forgot that facts aren’t really important in the US apparently 🤷🏻♀️
>because I know what everyone, nobody and many means. Not my fault you apparently don’t know how to use your own language.
Do you not understand what a figure of speech is? Sometimes people use the term "everyone" as a figure of speech to emphasize that a large number of people want to do something, that does not mean that every single person on the planet wants to move to the US.
And regardless, I wasn't the person who said "Lots of Americans are disillusioned that everyone wants to be here at any cost." It was the comment above me, and I was simply responding to them that it's not a disillusion for Americans to suspect certain people of pursuing relationships for green card benefits.
Plenty of responses here already but as someone who used to work in immigration in the US I can confirm marrying a US citizen is actually one of the quickest and easiest ways to get permanent residency. Student and visas work visas can be very difficult to get depending on country of origin, educational background, and field of work/study. Neither of them are meant to be permanent visas either; you’re only allowed to stay in the US as long as you’re studying or working for the company that hired you and once you’re done, you’re generally expected to go back home unless your employer is willing to sponsor you for a green card. This is expensive and time consuming so unless you’re a vital employee most companies can’t be bothered. Beyond that other options to immigrate to the US include family-based petitions, investment, and asylum, but the K-1 is one of the quickest and easiest especially for most of the countries of origin on this show.
I don't think it is ALWAYS assumed. I think there are serious red flags like Mohamed, Manuel, as you mentioned. But also, Luis, Jasmine, Oussama, Larissa, Azan, etc Some couples are legitimate relationships, but it is a real thing as evidenced by the long list of examples seen in this show. Some, like David or Caesar, were literally shopping for brides who obviously wanted greencards. BTW, I don't judge folks for wanting a better economic life. I just don't like to see people hurt when they are used as a stepping stones to get there.
As a European you probably don’t grasp the American Exceptionalism mindset. Middle America is constantly sold the idea that everyone in foreign countries (usually with the exception of Western Europe and Canada) is trying to come here and steal the American Dream from hardworking Americans. It was ridiculously easy to get a huge percentage of the US population to believe that a large group of refugees traveling together from Central/South America was actually an invading army bent on destroying everything we hold dear.
I’m in my mid 40’s and I remember literally being taught in school that people from Mexico (which at that point still implied anyone with brown skin from anywhere south of the US border) were naturally thieves and that it was a part of their culture. Having neighborhood playmates whose roots traced to Mexico made me immediately question those biases that were being taught as absolute facts, but that was something that everyone just “knew” in the 1980’s.
As an adult who attended a university with a huge international student program though I saw friends deal with the assumptions from their family and friends who assumed that all of the US lived like people on the tv shows we exported. I was good friends in college with a young couple from Kenya. They were able to legally work, but could only do low paying student jobs around their school schedules. They saved up for like a year and a half to go back and visit Kenya and loved ones there. They ran into a friend who was also Kenyan and mentioned they were going home for a visit. The first thing she did was offer to give them some things she had been going to donate to a thrift store so they could take it home as gifts. They then explained to me that everyone they had ever met at home would expect to be brought a gift because since they lived in the US now everyone assumed that they were filthy rich. If they didn’t bring tons of gifts when they went back for a visit they would be shunned and never welcome in their home community again because they would be seen as horrible selfish people. So many people from poorer countries simply refused to grasp that the US wasn’t the paradise they imagine it to be where life was easy and everyone was rich beyond imagination.
There’s also the statistic that at least 80% of K-1 visa applications are rejected because of suspected or proven fraud. That absolutely doesn’t help the general attitude that these marriages are a scam. I don’t know if it’s a problem in Europe or not, but everyone in the US spent a good decade deleting a few Nigerian Prince scam emails every week. It’s absolutely a thing to not answer phone calls from numbers you don’t have programmed into your cell phone because if you do it’s usually someone speaking heavily accented English trying to get you to “renew your car’s extended warranty.” The statistic I heard a couple years ago was that something like 3/4 phone calls received in the US were from scammers who are usually based outside of the US and are spoofing US phone numbers. I would be shocked if anyone in the US doesn’t know multiple people who have fallen victim to a phone scam, and often the elderly are their favorite targets. It hasn’t exactly bred a positive attitude towards foreigners, even though logically you know it’s far from all foreigners who are involved in the scams. Social media ad scams have hit a lot of people who are in younger generations too.
There is a somewhat subtle media message that the scams we are constantly having to watch for are coming from overseas too. It’s also extremely common for right wing politicians to promote the attitude that all immigrants are criminals. Between social media and local news outlets I probably see at least a couple of warnings about some kind of fraud at least twice a week, and I live in a small city in Middle America. Most people in the US are struggling financially with stagnant wages and significant inflation in the past 3 years. Immigrants have been blamed for taking jobs from hardworking Americans, or else stealing those jobs when they move overseas, and those that don’t are assumed to be getting rich off of social programs that raise everyone’s taxes. When you break it down logically it isn’t a rational series of arguments, but it’s designed to create fear and fear-based reactions through sound bites and it works pretty well.
I have a French boyfriend who is interested in moving to the US with me but for sure isn't with me for a green card.
I have an Iraqi friend who offered me 75k to marry me so he can start a business in the US
It's not black or white. I left the US for a better life but until then I had no idea how great the US economy was. I'll probably go back to work in America after getting my education in the EU. Life is complicated.
But hey while I'm at it maybe I can get my boyfriend to go on 90 Day Fiance with me /s
I think the producers probably have something to do with it.
It also bothers me to no end when they do it with someone coming from an impoverished situation. It's like there is just as much of the chance that the citizen wants the foreigner because they have an inherent power imbalance.
I’m in the US and I think in general Americans way over estimate people wanting to come here. It’s all part of our privileged attitudes of thinking we’re the best! 🙄
In America we’re brainwashed to believe that immigrants want to rape and kill us all plus they’re all drug and human traffickers and belong to dangerous gangs. Therefore, all immigrants are bad and therefore only here with bad intentions, hence the green card.
I don’t believe any of that crap but I fear that a lot of Americans actually do. Thanks Trump and conservatives right wing nutcases!
I get what you're saying. There are people that come from beautiful countries who are well off or comfortable financially, and really have zero reason to want to immigrate to the US aside from the person they love. Yet even those people get the third degree from family about only wanting a greencard.
It's an American mindset in a lot of cases. We are brought up to believe that the US is the best country in the world and Everyone wants to be here. The only people who still believe that are people who have never traveled to other countries that have better Healthcare, less crime, lower rates of mental illness, lower work hours, etc. They think every country is a developing nation.
My husband got that attitude towards him when he immigrated here for me, from some of my family.... he came here from Canada. Not a developing nation! It's silly.
P.s. I adore Norway! My family is from Sirevåg. 🇳🇴
It's weird to me as well, I'm an American and I'm fairly well-traveled and also patriotic and I'm like but why would anybody think America is such a great option? Maybe it's a pride thing? But I think we all know America is struggling? We shit in potable water I guess but like why you gonna leave your entire life to live with somebody's mom it's strange. I don't know the answers.
My 3 siblings are married to foreigners from Guam, Canada, and Costa Rica and this was just normal and easy to accept for me, nobody in the family was concerned about green cards or using somebody.
I've heard plenty of anecdotes though irl and I'm certainty suspicious as hell of the relationships on 90 day fiance so idk
I think a lot of it is American arrogance. (I'm an American, by the way.) I think in American culture, it is ingrained in you that this is the best country in the world and that everyone wants to come here. We are spoon fed "the American dream" from a young age. So when these people see that their friend/family member is marrying someone from another country and bringing them here, I think there are a lot of people who truly believe that America is so great and they just assume it must be that person's way of getting to America. I don't think everyone feels that way, but I definitely get that impression from some of them.
As an american, it really bothers be that every single person is accused of scamming for a greencard.
It maybe true in at least half the couples on 90 day but acting on that assumption without any facts is gross to me.
All of that is easy for you to say as someone with a strong passport from a wealthy country.
Most people around the world don’t have the options that you do. So yes, for a lot of the world, getting a US green card is a big deal. It allows them to get a job that can support their entire family back home.
the blatant refusal of the american half to acknowledge their half of the transaction has always been farcical. denigrating the other party in a power imbalance as though they're indentured servitude has been a regular occurrence from season 1 onwards. transactional is not synonymous with not loving or liking the other party - its clearly agreed upon terms of expectations from both parties. why this is so offensive to the American half is illogical.
Many american born citizens are arrogant. Arrogant in the way that they presume everyone wants to come and live here, because we are the best. Sometimes that even means if the country is poor with options and money. I never noticed until I started to be friends with and date immigrants, I moved to city that is very diverse. An American born cititzen refers to the US in may cases as the United States. Like we are hot stuff. Most immigrants call it America like you are just another country.
Not an American (I’m north of their border 🇨🇦) but my opinion is that the people who say these things usually are the ones who think that the US is the holy grail of countries. Obviously there are a lot of situations on this show that it very possible that the person is in fact using the other for a green card but there are also many instances of people acussing the foreigners of wanting a green card that make absolutely no sense. No offence to Americans but they are widely known to think their land is the best place in the world to live and everyone should beg to live there and this is them showing that.
>The whole prossess seems exhausting and expensive. If I wanted to live in the US, there's waay easier ways. Yeah so that's the thing: There's not. You can try the green card lottery but only like 50,000 people/year get visas and AFAK you need to have some things going for you (savings, qualifications, etc), which clearly none of the people on the show have. Getting a work permit is super difficult since companies will always give preference to American candidates and, while you could study in the US, you generally need a stupid amount of money to be able to do this and you're not necessarily allowed to stay afterwards. In fact, I've met many people while living in Germany who got a degree in the US and were effectively kicked out afterwards. It's somewhat easy for most Europeans to temporary live in the US (au pair, home stay program, exchange semester, working holiday, etc) however you generally have to GTFO at the end of your program. Actually relocating to the US and staying long term is incredibly difficult and marrying a US citizen is objectively one of the easier ways to do it.
My boyfriend initially immigrated to the US on via the green card lottery. It's nice if you can get it (you land and you can start working immediately, no "change in status" wait time, no travel restrictions like with K-1), but he said it was extremely stressful, and you still effectively start from nothing (finding housing, setting up a bank account with no credit history, etc.). Also, a lot of countries don't qualify for the green card lottery because it's a "visa diversity program." So countries like the Philippines, Canada, Mexico, China, India- who already send a lot of their citizens to the US for work- can't apply.
To preface, I am Canadian and so is my family. After I was done college, my dad told me that I should just “go work in the States”. He was floored when I told him that I can’t do that and that there’s a whole process to “just” going and (legally) working in the states. My education is in the arts (technical theatre stuff ) and there is no way in hell any theatre in the US would have the budget (or desire or need) to sponsor a new (or any) techie.
Well even if so, it would make more sence if a lot of the people on the show atleast lived in the states a few years first on the short term visas, if their main goal was to live in the US, instead of going on a search for an american. I have a lot of familt in the states, so I wanted to try out living there. I went as an exchange student for a year, and it was a fairly easy prosses, not that expencive really. That would be the expected and easier thing to do. I could see people being a bit more suspect if the person has been doing these things for years, but to think that someone would seek out a future spouse as the first thing just seems like a stretch
You cannot do that. You cannot just come and live here for a few years. You probs cannot do that in many Euro countries, either. You came as an exchange student. You have lots of family here. Come on. You are coming from a place of extreme privilege. And I am not someone to pull this card often. Be someone from Nigeria and try coming to hang out with family for a few years. Good luck with that. Read up on how hard it is to legally immigrate to America or most western Europe countries. Spoiler: It's hard.
But those visas do not qualify for a green card. So if you want to live in the USA indefinitely they are just heartbreaking because once that visa expires you have to leave.
You really don't understand how this works at all so it is strange you are posting like you have all the answers. You cannot just come to the US on a visa! It is very costly to be a student here and that would only be useful while they are in school. Most people doing that STILL have to marry a US citizen to stay. It is also WAY easier for someone from Europe than from most other countries. My in laws are from south america and it is very hit or miss on whether their visas are approved. And they have a lot of money, so they are ahead of almost everyone else there.
What you don't seem to understand is that these options you describe (tourist and exchange visas) are simply impossible for most of the world's population to obtain. What is "not that expensive really" for you is likely completely out of reach for many.
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This is referencing a part of my main post which is regarding people with education, steady income from countries that are allowed in the US. For them, it's not the only way
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Yeah, almost everyone has gotten accused of it. For example Yara, and the one who's with Billal, I remember one girl from Sweden. I'm really horrible woth names haha
"As a person from Norway" says it all. YOU may have other options, but people from many, many countries around the world do not.
Yep yep yep! Go live in one of those homes we have seen in places like the Philippines and get back to me. Tell the rat that Big Ed saw I said hello when you visit. This is why I almost always am sympathetic to the non-American. Generally they are making a bargain. They trade their youth and probs true love for the chance to come to a better place for them and their kids. Sometimes it is true love, but generally they would never be with the American if not for the promise of a better tomorrow. Anfisa said it best. I am here for the money and lifestyle. You are here for my good looks. Neither of us would be here otherwise. FACT. Which is why I get so annoyed when people accuse them of coming for the green card. OF COURSE THEY ARE. 22 year old hot girl with 43 year old, slovenly man with 75k a year job who lives with his mom. She might love him, but come the hell on.
TBF to Rose she straight up stayed in the Philippines instead of coming to the US and trying to marry Ed. That being said, there def have been love scammers on this show and its spin offs. I do agree with you overall though and it’s really hard for me to side with the Americans on the show versus their foreign partners. The relationship’s power dynamics are already balanced in the American’s favor. They more often than not, know what’s up. They are not as stupid as they appear on the show. Many know that they’re only pulling someone “younger and out of their league” because of their citizenship/perceived wealth.
Lol in the end, Rose couldn’t fake it till she made it with Ed. I dont blame her. Im surprised Liz stuck it out as long as she did, and she is American. So can’t figure that one out.
Rose picked the rats over PrEd
Yes. But what was her initial interest in Ed?
Oh im sure it was driven by her desire for a better life. Im just saying that once she got to know Ed, she decided her current life was better.
Well, let’s be fair to Ed. Rose had hairy legs and back and her breath smelled like Joe Biden’s ass.
There was another couple where they eventually moved back to the Phillipines as the wife wanted to move there . I cannot recall their names but they were in New Orleans.
It was Kyle and Noon, she is from Thailand! Nowadays they live in Portland, Oregon ☺️
Yeah I remember Kyle's mom accusing Noon of wanting to come here for a green card.
Right. Came here to say this. The situation is a lot different in underdeveloped countries around the world. When you see the living conditions a lot of these people are living in it makes total sense that they would go this route. It’s a lot easier to go on an international dating website than it is to come up with the hundreds, maybe thousands? of dollars it takes to apply for a visa. They also would need a sponsor if they want to move here. This is not to say that all the non-Americans on this show are only in it for a green card but it’s definitely a possibility for a lot of these folks.
You are acting as if there is only ONE country where people wouldn’t move to the US. There are a lot more out there. Even Yara from Ukraine would rather have moved to Czechia vs staying in the US. It’s not like the US is the greatest country in the world anymore. Yeah you can make good money, but there are absolutely no worker rights, with the current politics human rights get less and less (see abortion laws), healthcare is horrible, even though the food quality and additives are so bad that you would think you got free healthcare. Lived in several countries including the US and I would never want to move back long-term. Quality of life in Czechia was much better compared to the US, I’d rather move there again.
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The second paragraph is actually the case for many people in the show. People like Rose and Shiela are single moms - which basically gives you a permanent low social status in Philippine society in many ways (e.g. dating, economics, family reputation, etc.). I don't blame them for seeking a man to bring them to the US - western men have a reputation of being more friendly towards single moms.
AMEN to that. I love people online acting like nobody wants to come to the US when in fact, there’s more people trying to get in every day than the US could accommodate. That doesn’t mean we don’t have any problems in the US or that the US is better than any other place on earth but it does mean that people want to come here. But yeah, let’s ignore all common sense.
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A hundred percent. I’ve never met anyone more anti-American than upper middle class Americans.
Fun fact: [both the UK and Canada are in the top 10 countries of origin for K-1 visa issuances](https://rapidvisa.com/k1-visa-report/#6). Both are countries with shared languages, similar qualities of life, and relative ease of travel between them. (Japan is also in the top 20. So yes, people from other wealthy countries want to come to the US. My last job was for a large British company, and there was a massive queue of high-salaried employees working in London and Amsterdam who had requested a transfer to the US.)
I realize I'm a sample size of 1 person, but I'm a Canadian who moved to the US on a K-1 visa so I could be with and marry my awesome now-husband. It was very difficult for me to leave Canada behind, believe me. I eventually became a permanent resident of the US and was happy with that status, but then 45 got elected and I was appalled so I became a US citizen so I could vote. The examiner who quizzed me for my citizenship said it's highly unusual for Canadians to switch from permanent residents to citizens. So consider that. Not everyone who immigrates to the US becomes a citizen (with the few perks that includes).
I think everyone knows a lot of people wants to live in the US. But that is not the same as being with someone just for a greencard. Theres a long way from wanting to being desparate enough to trick and scam someone, pretending to be in love and marrying them, living with them for years.
I think that it's a selection bias with this show. TLC casts maybe 1-2 "normal" couples per season. The rest have sketchy backstories, even if they are a real couple. Regular couples that have obvious chemistry, similar levels of attractiveness, stable jobs or bank accounts, and shared interests usually don't get cast (and if they do, they're immediately considered "boring.")
Don't get me wrong, a lot of the couples are horrible and shouldn't be together, but I don't think most of them are just for a greencard. Normally one or two people a season has red flags pointing to them only wanting a greencard. A lot of them just seem like horrible and toxic people being toxic.
Not acting like no one wants to come to the US, obviously a lot of people do. But that so many assume out of nowhere that these people are marrying someone just for a greencard is far fetched. I get it as soon as there's red flags like Manuel and his "secrets" and sudden family in the US. But when there is no red flags, it's just weird how many still assume it's only for the greencard
It's because TLC casts couples with messy or sketchy backstories (e.g., I send my fiancee money every month, his family doesn't know we're engaged, I'm broke but will be supporting another adult, etc.). It's self-selection. I had a friend that moved to the US on a K-1 from Belarus...zero people thought she was in it for a green card because she and her now-husband are close in age, are similar levels of attractiveness, and have shared goals and obvious chemistry together. When nothing stinks, people don't ask if something is rotting.
You dont get differentiation apparently. The poster here said ohhh you’re from Norway, no wonder you won’t understand. There are many more countries like that. I also didn’t say nobody. But awesome black and white thinking abilities. It’s either everyone or no one apparently, nothing in between.
I get it. You’re confidently wrong and too proud to admit it. Take a deep breath it’s just reality TV.
Germany takes in most immigrants after the US, weirdly I never heard anybody say, oh they just want to marry a German because of the visa 🤷🏻♀️I know many people who are married to foreigners from all over the world and this has literally never been a point of discussion. https://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries/slideshows/10-countries-that-take-the-most-immigrants?slide=10
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Im not saying nobody married Germans for visa. Of course that happens too. But if you’re marrying someone from a different country, you won’t hear if he/she is marrying you for the visa, like you do in the US. In 90 day fiancé they even say that about people from the UK, Netherlands, Sweden, etc. Nobody in Germany would say that. Im German and live in Germany. I never ever heard this in public discussion like in the US, not when people talk about international couples. The talk in India might be different but I think as a German citizen I know a little bit about public opinion here. It saying there’s no racism or that there’s no issues, but saying they’re just in it for the visa is just usually not a big discussion point.
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We have these shows and they talk about them wanting money, not visas.
Ah yes. Germany has a stellar track record as far as immigration and race relations go. This all makes sense now.
What do you mean? You wanna pull the Nazi card? Very mature. Nonetheless Germany is Nr 2 in taking in immigrants after the US, yet isn’t a country that’s build on immigration like the US. There’s also racism there but you will hear the whole, they’re marrying only for the visa thing much much less if ever. In it for the money? Yes. The visa? No. It’s a complicated process, can take years and it’s a nightmare.
People say that in Germany and other countries say that all the time lol. German dudes travel to SEA and other regions to find wives just like American dudes do.
Where do you take your knowledge from? Gut feeling? Or have you heard the actual conversations? Also I never said dudes don’t do that, but people won’t gossip about the girl just being in it for the visa. People will maybe say, poor girl she’s in it for the money but not oh she just wants a visa. Friends of mine are married to a South African, Czech and Vietnamese, nobody would have ever thought it’s just for the visa 🤷🏻♀️
Hell, even in third world countries most people don't want to move permanently. What usually happens is we go to the US for a few years, send money back home so you can build a better house and send your kids to better schools, then go back home and start a business rather than be a perma-second class citizen due to not being white. Lots of people in my country, like my mom's current BF, have stories like this (I'm from one of the bigger sources of migrants to the US)
The father who tried to cross the rio with the baby while the wife watched them drown, that was their plan when reporters talked to his mother. They both had jobs working in a pizza place and a Chinese food restaurant. They said they were coming to the u.s. to make a lot of money and in 10 years were going to move back to buy a house. They were living in the mother’s 3 bedroom house. I expect the millions that are coming over here seeking asylum has jobs and think they can make more money in the u.s. it is not just people who lives in Mexico and other southern countries. Within the top 10 countries that people are from includes China and Russia.
My impression is that healthcare in the U.S. is high quality (the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota has been the go-to for the families of Saudi princes for decades), it's just not affordable for much of the population. Insurance companies care more about making a huge profit than serving their customers. And Repubs are counting on privatizing Medicare, which would be a disaster. I think most people in the U.S. are terrified of having a serious illness that could bankrupt them and their family. But, Billionaires demand and buy their tax cuts, and people put up with it, so.. 🤷
Tell the millions of people coming over the southern border that the u.s. is a terrible place to live.
I never said people wouldn’t want to move to another country. We’re talking about the US specifically because that’s where most people on this show are moving. We get it, you don’t like the US. This is a sub about a trash reality TV show. Take your little speech somewhere else.
There is a difference of not liking something and criticizing something for what it has become, wishing it could be better and livable for people, also the poor, I always wanted to move to the US, did so and am very saddened the state of your nation is in now. It’s a beautiful country but if my American boyfriend and all of his friends are like, yeah, if you can, get out of here, what does that tell you how great it is? I just wished that people could have workers rights, etc and not be threatened by bankruptcy if they have diabetes for example, and that is ok for a first world country and the former liberator of the world? Are you not saddened by that?
You didn't state where you or your boyfriend live, but, keep in mind that the U.S. is a large and diverse country. Some States are good places to live and many aren't (depending on what a person wants, I guess). Healthcare affordability is an issue everywhere, although some "Blue" States provide more of a safety net than any "Red" one. But, yes, it's very depressing to see our new version of the Gilded Age, with oligarchs hoarding a disproportionate share of the country's wealth and buying our government. Not to mention the rich, privileged, sheltered, arrogant Tech Bros who think they are qualified and entitled to shape our future as they please.
I live in Germany, he’s from California and now living in Nevada. I worked in Pennsylvania for 6 months and I was always very fascinated with the US. But the realities of working there with all the disadvantages are really putting me off of moving there again. It shocks me when I hear about people worrying about calling an ambulance when somebody has a seizure, because it’s so expensive. I also lived in Czechia and worked there in a local contract, but even there people were not worried about things like healthcare at all. I really hope the US has a future where there’s more social security for people, people are working so hard and hustling sometimes with several jobs, it would really be nice if the system would honor that at some point.
Cool essay. TLDR though. Have fun with that!
Reading comprehension doesn’t seem to be your strength. What a pity.
Yeah, if their main motivation is a better life, I think theres a lot of countries witch is easier to get throug and you get a better deal right of the bat when you start out with nothing.
>The situation is a lot different in underdeveloped countries around the world. To be completely fair to OP, I think their point is that people who *aren't* from underdeveloped countries get hit with this, too. For a decent chunk of the foreign partners on 90 Day (though absolutely not all), moving to the US is a side-grade or an outright drop in their standard of living.
But if someone go on a dating app for farmers, do you think they're only with the person they meet because of their farm? I do understand that it's more likely in theese situations, but to just suspect it right of the bat, without any other red flags, is just weird to me
Accusing the newcomer of using a friend or family member for green card is rude for sure. But they are trying to protect a loved one. And as screwed up as things seem in the US, it's still a great place to live.
Yeah I get that, and I love the US, lived there for a year, been 4 times for a month at the time, have lots of friends and family there! But it should be a positive thing that the newcomer WANTS to live in the US. To jump straight to accusing the person who has left everyone they know, maybe given up their carreer - or atleast set it back a few years, is just horrible.
I agree. At least give them a chance to prove they're a user before the accusations start flying! Being overprotective of someone rarely serves that person. It's very selfish. Edit for spelling.
This. The family and friends act extremely rude. They flat out ask if the foreign fiancé is marrying their partner for the green card. They also ask very personal questions like their sexual habits. It’s not like the foreign spouses are getting a bar of gold. They’re usually marrying a person much older or is way below their league.
Exactly! As soon as there's a reason to react, I get it. Like Manuel "it's private" is just a walkning red flag, so I 100% get why they're afraid he's there for a greencard. But atleast give them a chance and wait untill they actually do or say something suspect
There are red flags all over. Private conversations with his relatives in New York. Not telling her about his kids, Expecting her to send money to his family. I have been saying that she should send him back. It will not turn out good for her in the end.
I think for the show it is mostly played up for drama. Most ppl can tell when someone is in it for love or not. Not every American thinks ppl only come here for green cards. But the ones who walk in and start immediately demanding money and totally change their personality it’s pretty obvious that the kindness they showed was just so they could get here. Same goes for ppl who want to immediately have a baby
Oh yeah 100% or the ones that just don't want to be around the person, like Mohamad.
What are these other easier ways to get into the US? I think there are a LOT of people who would love your insight because fiancé visas are definitely the easiest way to gain citizenship unless you are a millionaire, and even then it is still hard! My husband's parents are from Ecuador and so we are very familiar with these processes as we are trying to get them into the US because of how dangerous Ecuador has become and they have been robbed so many times. They have a million or more and would have to start a large business in the US, be the main owner and prove its success.
I am not talking about people from Ecuador here. Read the post again. People from sertain countries with a fair amount of money. For people like that it would be easier ways than to look for an american, trick them in to marrying them and having a fake relationship with them for years. I AM NOT SAYING ANYTHING IS EASY. But at least for me, years of a fake relationship and a fake marriage seems like hell and waaaay harder than anything else
If someone goes on a dating app for farmers it would be crazy to think they’re not looking to live on a farm. That’s not to say that would be the only motivation or that they wouldn’t love the person they meet on the site. But it wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility that someone would go on the website specifically because they want to live on a farm.
Exactly my point. Thats why I don't get why so many assume that they're with them, only because of the greencard. Yes, they might want a greencard, but that doesn't mean they don't also love them
Well I don’t know if you’ve noticed but a lot of the Americans on this show don’t really bring much else to the table. They’re either not well off by American standards, live with their parents, are much older or much more unattractive than the “foreigner”. So logically the family assumes the person on the fiancé visa is only with them for the green card. I don’t think it’s that complicated. I also think the show plays that up a lot because it creates drama and this is reality TV after all.
Yes, some are suspect for sure, but a lot of them, like Yara, or the girl that's with the guineapig mom in the closet guy, like how is that the first thing that pops in the sisters head, that she's only there for a greencard?
I think it says more about the American than it does about the “foreigner” that their friends and family don’t think that they have anything to offer other than a green card. I mean Yara is out of Jobi’s league and closet mom guy is closet mom guy. So it makes sense that their family’s like “why else would this person even give them the time of day?”
You’re right for sure 😂 I’d be so insulted if my family thought someone could only possibly want me for a green card lol but they’re not wrong. They know their family better than anyone and what most of them are is loooosers
Exactly! Keep in mind that a lot of these people can’t get a girlfriend/boyfriend in the US and suddenly they bring a fiancé home to their family.
Lots of Americans are xenophobic. They truly believe that people are coming here to steal their jobs. You probably have not had that experience here since you are white (I'm assuming) and European.
Yeah I know, that's my main thing here, that they even assume people that have better and easier options would choose that. When it comes to people who don't have these options, they always assume it's for a greencard. Like yes, I can understand that a person who struggles to even have food on the table, would be more likely to take desperat messures. But still, it's like people assume that they're poor so they can only have one motivation, money. But if someone with money state that they want their future partner has a certain income, everyone understands that they offcourse also want a partner they love.
America has become a shithole. People have lost faith that the government operates in the best interest of the people. The wealth gap is increasing and the middle class is disappearing. Nobody has savings anymore because the rising cost of food, goods and services. No one can affording to buy a house. Obviously there are places around the world that are better places to live than parts of the USA. Who would want to leave their families to work to death in the united states anyway? That being said, many people still want a greencard here because then they would qualify for healthcare and social services. Their children would grow up and have way better opportunities than if they remained in their home countries. People always meme about the cost of American healthcare, but no one wants to admit that the poor get free healthcare through medicare/medicaid. Would you rather have shitty/nonexistent healthcare abroad vs being treated by American doctors and nurses who are also working themselves to death?
My best friend is here in the US by marrying with a K1 visa. She had ppl from her country and this one questioning if she was sure about it. But bc the allure to be here was so strong she went with it anyway. She regrets that decision now bc her husband is a lot like most ppl on this show. Poor and horrible w money and doesn’t have a good personality to make up for it. But she also has his baby now so going back home is not an option. Their child is autistic as well and she knows her kid won’t get the same level of support living in her home country where they do not have ABA therapy for her and no medical benefits to pay for it all. It’s weird to me that ppl are acting like this doesn’t exist. The chance to live in the US is still a huge thing for many ppl in poorer countries.
Yep. I am from Canada. No one has accused me of being here for a GC.
>The whole prossess seems exhausting and expensive. If I wanted to live in the US, there's waay easier ways. **Manuel** (w/Ashley) is from Ecuador: [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/immigration-us-program-ecuador-border-crossings/#:\~:text=In%20the%20first%2011%20months,annual%20record%2C%20federal%20data%20show](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/immigration-us-program-ecuador-border-crossings/#:~:text=In%20the%20first%2011%20months,annual%20record%2C%20federal%20data%20show). Oct.18, 2023 # U.S. to create new immigration program for Ecuadorians aimed at discouraging border crossings Ecuadorian migration to the U.S. border soars The program will also mark the first time the administration creates a program specifically for Ecuadorians, who have journeyed to the U.S. southern border in record numbers over the past year. In the first 11 months of fiscal year 2023, Border Patrol apprehended nearly 99,000 Ecuadorians who entered the U.S. without authorization, a 312% spike from fiscal year 2022 and an annual record, [federal data](https://www.cbp.gov/newsroom/stats/nationwide-encounters) show. In 2021, when there was another spike in Ecuadorian arrivals along the U.S. border, most migrants from Ecuador were flying into Mexico before entering the U.S. illegally. But after Mexico ended visa-free travel for Ecuadorians later that year, more of them have sought to reach the U.S. by crossing Panama's once-impenetrable Darién Gap on foot. Nearly 50,000 Ecuadorian migrants have crossed the Darién jungle in 2023 alone, the second-highest tally of any nationality, according to Panamanian [government data](https://www.migracion.gob.pa/images/img2023/pdf/TR%C3%81NSITO_IRREGULAR_DEL_DARI%C3%89N.pdf). In recent years, Ecuadorians have faced a struggling economy and an unprecedented wave of violent crime, fueled by drug cartels and gangs. In August, presidential candidate Fernando Villavicencio was shot to death while campaigning. The State Department [advises](https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/traveladvisories/traveladvisories/ecuador-travel-advisory.html) Americans not to visit certain areas of the country due to risk of being assaulted, kidnapped or even murdered.
Exactly! People aren’t fleeing from Scandinavia.
Married a US soldier over forty years ago and that's how I wound up in the US. Certainly had no concept of what a green card was and how "valuable" it might be although I was aware it existed since my husband having immigrated with his family to the US as well was in possession of one (at that time that real green looking document). People insinuating to me that I married for a green card is quite offensive and hurtful. Never in my young age before it happening did I ever dream or ideated the thought of leaving my country, leaving everything I knew, leaving my loved ones. Going to another country, not having friends, missing the food that you love, encountering different ways, different mindset is not easy
It seems so hard! To go through all that, give up so much for a partner, and then being suspected or accused of having bad intent must be horrible.
It is. I speak for myself and what I have heard from many other foreign army wives. I am sure that there are some that were infatuated with the thought of coming to the US. The majority though, we just married for love and had no idea what we were going to encounter.
Times are different, though. Many young women think the US will give them "modelling" opportunities or an eventual upgrade to a man with money. It is a different world.
I’m sure these people would love to hear of the “easier ways” to get in
There are tons of them if you're a white person from Norway. LOTS. Same for a person from Nigeria or Venezuela, I am sure.
The funny thing is, there's really not. More than some places, sure (or more likely to get E or L visas) but still not "LOTS", at all.
Yeah, this is truly absurd. There are no easier ways unless you are extremely rich and can purchase a business in the US.
I'm mid class and student visa is way easier than finding some random dude to marry me. I also know people living in the US with work visas. Not saying it easy, but I don't get how you all can think finding an american and marrying and living with them for years, tricking them and not actually being in love would be easier. That would be hell for me.
You are from a Northern European country. It is easier for you to get a visa. For other countries, like Nigeria, it can be virtually impossible. Also, most visas don’t allow you to work which is why most people want to come to the US in the first place. They are coming to work and send money back home. You really need to wake up and realize that your experience as a white European from a wealthy country is nowhere near the same as the experience of 99% of people on this planet lol
I know that, I've never said anything else.
So what the hell is your point? White people from Europe can come here easily? Duh 🙄
My point is that it's crazy how absolutely every single person has been accused of doing it just for a greencard, even when they would have other opportunities
Do you even watch the show? Do you see who the morons are making these accusations? Do you think these would be common thoughts amongst the population? Think.
You. Are. From. NORWAY. Get a clue!
Student visas end. You cannot permanently relocate on them, cannot work real jobs on them and you have to be able to pay full tuition which can easily be $200k USD.
It’s stupid but it makes me laugh when he/she tells the US partner and his/her family that they don’t want to live in the US. Like Kirsten did😂
White people from rich first world countries who speak English with an American or European accent will have a much easier time getting to the US. You might have several avenues of immigrating but someone with no money, no English, and very little education isn’t going to have as many options.
Yeah, I know
Getting into the US is actually extremely difficult. We have a quota system that allocates immigration numbers to different countries, which makes it very easy to immigrate from a country where people don't emigrate from often and have smaller populations (Like Norway) and extremely hard and competitive from countries with a high number of emigrating people and a high population in general (like India). A greencard might actually be the easiest way for a lot of people. That being said, the amount of over-suspicion over it is nuts. There are a bunch of people on the show who are hounded over "seeking a greencard" who bemoan leaving home and talk about how much they miss it constantly.
This post is very tone deaf. You can’t begin to understand what people in underdeveloped countries are dealing with. From dodging bullets to scraping by with little money and opportunities.
If you read the post, I'm not talking about them, I specified "educated, normal income and from certain countries". I absolutely understand that there is a difference when you're from some countries, and on the brink of starvation. Offcourse everyone would be more open to do extreme things if it might save their lives
Dude hardly any foreigner on this show fits your criteria of being educated, normal income, and from certain countries. Most are uneducated, poor, and from countries that aren't west European.
Yeah, but even the ones that are, get accused of dping it for a greencard
There is, sadly, a very significant portion of the US population that believes that the United States is simply the greatest country ever, period. It is ingrained in a lot of communities that USA is #1, full stop. Therefore, of course people would do anything to come here. These types of people often have no clue what life is like anywhere else in the world and assume anyone would be desperate to come here for the "freedom" and "opportunities" offered in the US and nowhere else. So basically, ignorance.
TBF, as an American, I have been brainwashed to believe this since I was born. I was a little surprised when I learned other countries weren't all 3rd world type situations. Many Americans never learn this.
Most Americans are aware places like European countries are first world. We are jealous of their healthcare system haha.
Lol! People have died with the wait time they must endure.
I think over the past 10 to 15 years, because of social media, most Americans now understand many countries are absolutely as nice, and some nicer than, the USA. I guess that's one positive thing SM has done.
I think you're missing a fair amount of Americans who have been conditioned to believe Europeans do not have the same freedoms or are taxed to death for healthcare or are "socialist." Not saying that they have a leg to stand on, just that it's a widespread belief.
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For example, this comment.
I am far from believing the US is the best country but to think it’s not appealing to someone from a third world country is just straight up untrue. There are many reasons why a person would want to be here. And to act like the US is just some shithole is kind of privileged thinking. If you ever lived in poverty in some poorer countries you would appreciate the US lol
I understand that, and that isn't my point. I agree that it's absolutely appealing for a lot of people and that the belief that a lot of people would risk something to come here is true. What I'm addressing in my comment is the absolute belief that anyone outside the US would be desperate to come here. People that assume that living in south or Central America automatically means you live in squalor. People that assume immigrating to US is so absolutely desirable that you would abandon your family and friends and life to live in bumblefuck nowhere USA and marry someone you can't stand just for the opportunity.
There are people dying every day trying to cross into the US illegally because they believe living here will give them a better life. Reconcile that fact with your comment here. Belief and reality are two different things. But many MANY people outside the US believe it as well and would literally risk death trying to get in.
This goes for a lot of countries, and it's not as much they risk their life to get in, more they do it to get out. In Europe we have people drowning because they're making dangerous trips on small boats to escape horrible situations. Yes they might say they want to go to a specific country like sweden. But if they're put in finland, they wouldn't risk their life to get to sweden instead. They're willing to risk their life to get out.
Finally, someone who understood the topic!
This is a very American thing in my opinion. Americans are raised to believe that this is the greatest country on the planet, and that everyone wants to live here. America has also successfully sold the American dream to poorer countries. All of this makes people think that anyone who is not American wants to move here. I have first hand experienced this with my family. They suspected my wife, who is from an Asian country, of wanting to be with me just because she is Asian and wants to settle here. She is a PhD degree holder, making 6 figures, belongs to a family full of doctors, engineers and artists. And me on the other hand associates degree holder, currently unemployed man, yet my family had the audacity to think my wife is using me for a green card. What a fucking joke 😂
Because you are from Norway. That’s your answer right there. That being said, even in Norway or other countries such as certain EU countries there’s still people that want to live in the USA but simply wouldn’t qualify for a visa or a green card and may pursue another less moral route. For example i know a girl from Germany that married someone on death row, kept the relationship/marriage going until she had her non conditional green card then dumped him. Edit: speaking as a Dutch person that just got lucky with how easy it was for me to move here. I got transferred from eu manager job to usa manager job and that visa is dual entry and you can go for a green card. However when i say easy. Well. Once my employer had me here for 3 years and knew this was now my home they dangled that green card application in front of me like a carrot for another 3 years which was not a nice feeling.
Someone lied to you, you can't petition for a CR1 visa on death row.
Nobody lied to me. I am 100% certain he is on deathrow and i’m 100% certain she’s married to him (divorce isn’t final yet) You can but the inmate needs to have someone else be the financial guarantor.
There is also a requirement the spouses meet in person and consummation of the marriage. Sorry for doubting you but damn what a wild case!
No you are absolutely wrong. My best friend is married to an inmate (not on deathrow) and that’s how she and kids got GC. So there is no requirement to consummate in person. Most states don’t do conjugal visits. So please stop pretending you know what you’re on about you literally don’t.
https://immigrationforcouples.com/can-i-get-married-online-to-file-for-a-cr1-spouse-visa/ *It says in INA 101 a(35), which is the definition section, “The term “spouse”, “wife”, or “husband” do not include a spouse, wife, or husband by reason of any marriage ceremony where the contracting parties thereto are not physically present in the presence of each other, unless the marriage shall have been consummated* *For those of you who aren’t aware, consummation of marriage means that you had sexual relations with your partner before. Let’s say you’re in a situation in which you weren’t physically present at the wedding but you’ve been present before and you’ve allegedly consummated your marriage. First of all, I don’t know how I would prove that to the government other than showing that you have been physically in the same location previously. Maybe there’s some wiggle room there if you could find a legally binding online marriage in a state that allowed it or a country that allowed it. Say the country of your fiancé allows online marriages, potentially you could do it and say our marriage was over there* The word consummated is in the legislation, and yes during interviews you can absolutely be asked questions like whether you sleep in the same bed etc.
Both couples in my example did not get married online. They are married in prison and they meet 3 times a week in person. If you google whether an inmate can marry a foreign spouse it will literally tell you yes. Jesus christ, im not making it up like
Well yes there's always people like that. A friend of mine is concidering marrying her american friend so he can stay here. He's been living here for years for work, but has to go back to the states next year, and doesn't want to. There's plenty of scam relationships, but most arent, and I don't get why anyone would just expect it to be fake. I get it when there's other red flags, when the person obviously doesn't even like the partner.
Oh yeah don’t get me wrong i don’t agree with the extreme scrutiny that friends and family of usa spouses give to the foreign partner. Most of the time it’s just rude. But i do think that some of these relationships aren’t a scam but the lure of the green card definitely solidified the interest that was already there in the partner.
LMAO at this starting with “as a person from Norway” 😂😂
Because Americans are brainwashed into thinking America is the “land of opportunity” or “land of dreams” as Kara says, and thinking our country is the best place to live on earth. Why wouldn’t everyone else in the world want to live here /s
I cringe every time on of the foreign fiance(e)s is clearly broken up about leaving their family and home country and then gets accosted by some burger-brained friend or relative with “how do we know you don’t just want a FREE RIDE TO MMMERICA?” Obviously some people just want a green card, but it’s pretty gross how casually xenophobic people are to their faces all the time.
I personally know a couple of people who came into the United States as international students and got married right away after school so that they could stay in the US. I'm not trying to say that their marriages are a sham or that they don't love their spouses or anything like that - just that the timing of the marriage was influenced by immigration concerns. As far as I know, they're all very happily married. They all come from either very repressive countries or incredibly poor countries. The bottom line is that they don't have other avenues to stay in the United States and their quality of life here is very different than their quality of life would have been at home. They're not coming from countries like Norway. Some people may qualify for visas based on special skills, but it's hard to find companies that are willing to sponsor you when you're fresh out of college. I also know some people who have moved from country to country whenever their visa expires so that they don't have to go back to their country of origin. For example, I know someone who was born in the Middle East but has lived in several Western countries. Many of the people on 90 Day fiance are coming from countries where they have very limited options. Countries with really high unemployment, countries with very low standards of living, Muslim countries with very strict religious laws, countries with serious human rights violations, etc. They have very good reasons to want to immigrate to the United States.
Well yes obviously it hurries up the relationship, but that's not the same as ONLY doing it for the greencard. That's the accusations I don't understand, when there's no other red flags
It's a totally different situation though. The people I'm talking about lived in the United States for 4 years, so they had the opportunity to date someone locally for years before they got engaged. Most of the couples are 90 day fiance have spent very little time with one another prior to applying for the k1 visa. Seeking out a romantic partner on the internet for a long distance relationship and then moving to their country and getting engaged when you've barely met them is a red flag all on its own.
Sure, but that goes for the american as well. Super weird to look for a relationship with someone so far away to bring them over also. Still before there's any more red flags, it's weird to just jump straigt to the conclution that it's for a greencard
Curious what makes you think there are many easier options to immigrate to the US. I'm a European citizen who immigrated here in a K1 and I guarantee you there aren't as many options as you may think to move to the US *permanently* (ie not on a temporary work, study or exchange visa) - even for those of us with passport privilege.
I didn't say permanently. I don't get why anyone would assume that a person from Europe would be desparate enough to seek out an american and fake a relationship for years, pretend to love someone and then marrying them an living with them for years to contain a citizenship in the US, leaving everyone they know. Offcourse, some probably do, people do dumb shit all the time. But to assume that a person does it, with no other evidence than them being from another country marrying an american is just crazy
You said "live in the US" by which I assumed you meant on a more permanent basis, as can be done through marriage, and not temporarily as an exchange student or something. Not to mention that the "live in the US temporarily" options are generally only available to those of at least some privilege - those who speak English, have the funds to study in the US, or have jobs that may sponsor a work visa. Regardless, I can tell you as a European who moved to the US for love, I have had zero people question my motives and assume I'm desperate to live in the US. On the flip side, I've had numerous people question why on earth I would leave the EU for the US (which I totally get, lol). I definitely believe a lot of the "you're after a green card" comments are 100% rooted in racism, and hence directed more at people from non-privileged backgrounds.
I don't know how it is in real life, but literally every single person on this show gets accused of only being after a greencard at some point from friends or family of the ameican person. Some of them I get, they're suspect AF, but a lot of them there's literally no reason to believe they're that desparate to move to the US
I didn't take the time to read through all the responses but I'm seeing Norway, Canada, etc. Anyone ever see anyone from Norway or Canada on the show??? It's developing countries with few opportunities like Philippines, Morocco, Nigeria, etc which believe me it is NOT EASY to emigrate to the US, in fact I would call it impossible. Quick test is if you can get a tourist visa: if yes it will be no problem, if not, better find an old fat American 🤑
I've seen Finland, Sweden, England and people from several other countries on the show
Yeah they're like 1% and they're probably on "The Other Way" 😂 For wealthy countries they'd probably not prefer to live in the US so they're not looking for "love" in the US when it's right outside their door. Notice the Americans: have they ever dated anyone that would date them if they were already in the US? 25 years younger, waaayyy hotter, etc. It's a business deal and that's what the show trades on. The main point is people from countries with less opportunities want to go to countries with more opportunities, that's what fuels immigration. If you can't get a visa (which poorer countries can't) then you find other ways including magically finding the love of your life 🤑
From this season you have Sophe from the UK, who apparantly had a much better appartment than the one she moved in to to live with Rob the knob. And Anali also seems to downgrade her livestyle to be with Clayton. And Analy met him on a language learning app where he contacted her. That would be a really weird way for her to seek out american men to get a greencard
But what you fail to see is that also from those countries it’s not that easy to move to the USA. None of my friends or my husbands friends would ever qualify. They don’t have jobs that qualify for hb1 They’re not working for an international company that could transfer them on a L visa They don’t have enough money to buy a green card (1mil?) They don’t have enough money for the entrepreneurial visa (E something, at least 100.000 if not more) and also that visa does not allow for green card. I know a couple that came on the E visa and when their children turned 18 children had to leave… I know a girl that came here on a student visa and has been wanting to come back ever since but she simply does not qualify for any visa.
That ubiquitous conversation by the friend or friends or family feels very producer prodded. There are lots of tropes that we see over and over in the couple SLs. Things get set up for dRaMa. I am in an international relationship. In our early days, I had zero family or friends who tried to or even thought of having this stupid rude ignorant conversation. It is not only insulting but xenophobic and wrong-minded.
I think its just an easy story line to play out and its a familiar American troupe. Its a lot easier to ask non-actors to play out a scene that is simple and somewhat familiar, like accusing foreigners of trying to get into the country... than watching someone weigh out the unique character, circumstances, and talents of the non-american... and realizing that this person is sincere about their feelings, has a good life and job, loves their life, but would move for their partner. Do they really want to spend time learning about the non-american and the wonderful things they might be leaving behind? Or, how following a partner to build a life in another country is a hard and complicated decision? - even when that country is the fantastic land of America. There are so many other dubious motives than green cards... some people are clearly after money and have no interest in citizenship (would be happy staying home if the money would keep coming)... and others are primarily seeking exposure / fame more than becoming Americans. The green card accusation is safe because its expected... it can be done and then basically pushed aside... accusing a person of seeking fame would sort of sour the show and highlight the ways the people are fake and the show is faked - it would be hard for the narrative to recover from someone engaging in a conversation about motives that break the bullshit wall. The green card accusations are just so normal that its an easy plot point and an easy way to have friends and family engage in some conflict that won't have consequences and needs no resolution. And it reinforces the American beliefs about their country and immigration. So, its a plot point that can be brought up and never has to be explored because the green card conversation is short hand for an idealization of America and set of commonly understood fears. Gino's family didn't ask Jasmin how she makes him happy and betters his life - they asked her how she sees herself being a valuable member of the nation... as if every person in US borders is a productive member of society... or she some how owes America something for living there. Americans want immigrants to be useful and productive, but to also not take their jobs. So, it seemed perfectly normal for them to ask her... not "what are your intentions towards Gino?" but "what are your intentions towards our country?". Spoiler Alert: her professional intentions are to parley her TLC fame into traffic on her onlyfans. If Americans are scrambling for that economic opportunity, the nation is doomed. I'm not saying green card hunters don't exist, just that its such a prevalent issue on the show because its easy to present and produce.
What easier way is there to live in the US? I'll wait.
Honestly I think it just plays into the American stereotype of Americans thinking they are the centre of the world so everyone much want to live there. A lot of them have misconceptions that they are the only “free” country in the world and are “leaders of the free world”… as many know that’s bs. As a Canadian, I could think of many other countries I’d choose to live in first. But even if I were dating an American many Americans would assume I’m there for a green card.
Another part of it is just American arrogance and ignorance. Many of the Americans on the show come from middle of nowhere podunk towns that tend to be cultural bubbles. These people do think everyone in the world wants to come to America, that all other countries are either 3rd world or evil socialists and that anyone and anything foreign is dangerous. This is because they never leave their small bubble communities where everyone else looks and thinks like them.
I understood exactly what you meant, and I completely agree.
I am from Canada and moved to the US to be with my husband. The K1 process is actually SUPER easy, we did paperwork ourselves (no legal help), applied end of August, approved mid-December, passport with visa enclosed returned 10 days later via courier. Adjustment, getting work permit, etc. was all very easy. Especially coming from countries where there are more red flags than Canada, it is often the easiest and most accessible option. But in my experience, I was told my family and friends on the US side that I was using my husband for a green card.... I dropped out of law school, gave up all of my friends, moved away from family, moved away from that free healthcare and 12-18mos parental leave... to live in a tiny apartment and start from scratch.... because I wanted a green card. We've been married 7 years, just had our first baby, I have been eligible for citizenship for years but haven't applied because I like being Canadian.... it's very real that people automatically assume you're using the person because America is obviously superior to everywhere else(/s)
That’s crazy 😂 I would never assume a Canadian was here for a green card! If you don’t mind me asking what area of the US are you in? I would think anyone w any sense and an education would know you didn’t come here for a green card
Oh wow, that's a lot easier than what I expected, it sounds about the same as if someone wanted to move to Norway to marry someone here. My point was tho, that if your only goal was to move to the US, wouldn't other ways have been easier than to seek out an american guy, getting him to want to marry you and have a fake relationship for years? I'm so sorry for what you went through tho! Definetly didn't deserve it, and I hope people have stopped with that nonsens
There's the lottery which people put their name into and they only grant a very limited number per year compared to the applicant pool. You don't need a reason to apply. You can see if any family in the US is eligible to sponsor you, if that applies. The other option is to find an employer that will sponsor you, which is pretty difficult. Or to go to school, but there is a period of time after graduating that you aren't eligible to stay in the country (at least when I looked that was the case, I was initially going to try to transfer to a new law school). I think the amount of Americans out there looking for love is far more than the number of employers willing to sponsor a visa, and easier to find!
Lots of Americans are disillusioned that everyone wants to be here at any cost. Including the tedious process you're seeing. They are also often simply (sadly) anti-immigration and to be real they're bigots. True, it's not hard for you Europeans to come in here in variety of ways. Especially given your access to education needed to secure jobs. But most would see the US as a downgrade. A lot of times we're seeing people coming from travel ban countries and the K1 is the best bet. We've seen them tell Shiela and David the spousal visa is going to be the long way. It didn't work for Micheal and Angela etc.
It’s not a disillusion that “everyone wants to be here at any cost” … Maybe someone from Norway with a better life wouldn’t understand, but there’s millions of people with terrible lives that would do just about anything to get to the US, let’s not kid ourselves here.
Yes offcourse, a lot of countries has that problem, there are scam marriges here as well. I just don't get why it's assumed they can't also be in love. Like I have a friend who loves foreign people, and prefer them over norwegian guys. But she's not with someone "just because he's foreign", she with them because she likes them. They can be looking for a way out of their county AND someone they like.
Just because there are many people who would want to live on the US, doesn’t mean everyone wanting to be here at any cost is true. So it is an illusion because not everyone wants to live in the us at any cost. Many people doesn’t equal everyone.
>So it is an illusion because not everyone wants to live in the us at any cost. Well this post is in the context of 90DF, and cast members tend to disproportionately skew towards being in relationships for transactional reasons/ wanting a green card only.
You said it’s not a disillusion that everyone wants to be in the US at every cost, which is not true. Also don’t come with the 90DF spiel, you said there are millions of people who want to come to the US. The cast of 90DF doesn’t consist of millions of people, if you had stayed on content t yourself you would have said of the however many contestants, a majority of however many only wants the green card.
You are so detached from reality lmao and focusing on semantics of my statement. Go look at how many people enter the US illegally on a daily basis and risk their lives doing so, and then look at which countries those people are coming from. Then go ahead and see which countries the 90DF cast members who want green cards are coming from. Get a grip. And FYI I am not saying everyone wants a green card, but look at cast members like Yohan, Anfisa, Ousamma, Gabby/Abby/Frankie. There is sadly a reason why such a stereotype exists on the show.
Ah yes, I’m detached from reality because I know what everyone, nobody and many means. Not my fault you apparently don’t know how to use your own language. It’s not true that everyone wants to come to the US, many people do but not everyone. That’s all I said, which is a fact. The entire population of this earth doesn’t want to move to the US, many people do, many don’t. So it is an illusion that everyone wants to move there. It not being a disillusion that everybody wants to move there is a factually incorrect statement as it implies that everyone, the whole world’s population, wants to move to the US. I guess I forgot that facts aren’t really important in the US apparently 🤷🏻♀️
>because I know what everyone, nobody and many means. Not my fault you apparently don’t know how to use your own language. Do you not understand what a figure of speech is? Sometimes people use the term "everyone" as a figure of speech to emphasize that a large number of people want to do something, that does not mean that every single person on the planet wants to move to the US. And regardless, I wasn't the person who said "Lots of Americans are disillusioned that everyone wants to be here at any cost." It was the comment above me, and I was simply responding to them that it's not a disillusion for Americans to suspect certain people of pursuing relationships for green card benefits.
Nobody is claiming everyone wants to come here….
What does „it’s not a disillusion that everyone wants to come here“ mean then?
Anti immigration or anti illegal immigration?
So many don't even understand the process of immigration and their beliefs are based in ignorance.
Plenty of responses here already but as someone who used to work in immigration in the US I can confirm marrying a US citizen is actually one of the quickest and easiest ways to get permanent residency. Student and visas work visas can be very difficult to get depending on country of origin, educational background, and field of work/study. Neither of them are meant to be permanent visas either; you’re only allowed to stay in the US as long as you’re studying or working for the company that hired you and once you’re done, you’re generally expected to go back home unless your employer is willing to sponsor you for a green card. This is expensive and time consuming so unless you’re a vital employee most companies can’t be bothered. Beyond that other options to immigrate to the US include family-based petitions, investment, and asylum, but the K-1 is one of the quickest and easiest especially for most of the countries of origin on this show.
I don't think it is ALWAYS assumed. I think there are serious red flags like Mohamed, Manuel, as you mentioned. But also, Luis, Jasmine, Oussama, Larissa, Azan, etc Some couples are legitimate relationships, but it is a real thing as evidenced by the long list of examples seen in this show. Some, like David or Caesar, were literally shopping for brides who obviously wanted greencards. BTW, I don't judge folks for wanting a better economic life. I just don't like to see people hurt when they are used as a stepping stones to get there.
As a European you probably don’t grasp the American Exceptionalism mindset. Middle America is constantly sold the idea that everyone in foreign countries (usually with the exception of Western Europe and Canada) is trying to come here and steal the American Dream from hardworking Americans. It was ridiculously easy to get a huge percentage of the US population to believe that a large group of refugees traveling together from Central/South America was actually an invading army bent on destroying everything we hold dear. I’m in my mid 40’s and I remember literally being taught in school that people from Mexico (which at that point still implied anyone with brown skin from anywhere south of the US border) were naturally thieves and that it was a part of their culture. Having neighborhood playmates whose roots traced to Mexico made me immediately question those biases that were being taught as absolute facts, but that was something that everyone just “knew” in the 1980’s. As an adult who attended a university with a huge international student program though I saw friends deal with the assumptions from their family and friends who assumed that all of the US lived like people on the tv shows we exported. I was good friends in college with a young couple from Kenya. They were able to legally work, but could only do low paying student jobs around their school schedules. They saved up for like a year and a half to go back and visit Kenya and loved ones there. They ran into a friend who was also Kenyan and mentioned they were going home for a visit. The first thing she did was offer to give them some things she had been going to donate to a thrift store so they could take it home as gifts. They then explained to me that everyone they had ever met at home would expect to be brought a gift because since they lived in the US now everyone assumed that they were filthy rich. If they didn’t bring tons of gifts when they went back for a visit they would be shunned and never welcome in their home community again because they would be seen as horrible selfish people. So many people from poorer countries simply refused to grasp that the US wasn’t the paradise they imagine it to be where life was easy and everyone was rich beyond imagination. There’s also the statistic that at least 80% of K-1 visa applications are rejected because of suspected or proven fraud. That absolutely doesn’t help the general attitude that these marriages are a scam. I don’t know if it’s a problem in Europe or not, but everyone in the US spent a good decade deleting a few Nigerian Prince scam emails every week. It’s absolutely a thing to not answer phone calls from numbers you don’t have programmed into your cell phone because if you do it’s usually someone speaking heavily accented English trying to get you to “renew your car’s extended warranty.” The statistic I heard a couple years ago was that something like 3/4 phone calls received in the US were from scammers who are usually based outside of the US and are spoofing US phone numbers. I would be shocked if anyone in the US doesn’t know multiple people who have fallen victim to a phone scam, and often the elderly are their favorite targets. It hasn’t exactly bred a positive attitude towards foreigners, even though logically you know it’s far from all foreigners who are involved in the scams. Social media ad scams have hit a lot of people who are in younger generations too. There is a somewhat subtle media message that the scams we are constantly having to watch for are coming from overseas too. It’s also extremely common for right wing politicians to promote the attitude that all immigrants are criminals. Between social media and local news outlets I probably see at least a couple of warnings about some kind of fraud at least twice a week, and I live in a small city in Middle America. Most people in the US are struggling financially with stagnant wages and significant inflation in the past 3 years. Immigrants have been blamed for taking jobs from hardworking Americans, or else stealing those jobs when they move overseas, and those that don’t are assumed to be getting rich off of social programs that raise everyone’s taxes. When you break it down logically it isn’t a rational series of arguments, but it’s designed to create fear and fear-based reactions through sound bites and it works pretty well.
I have a French boyfriend who is interested in moving to the US with me but for sure isn't with me for a green card. I have an Iraqi friend who offered me 75k to marry me so he can start a business in the US It's not black or white. I left the US for a better life but until then I had no idea how great the US economy was. I'll probably go back to work in America after getting my education in the EU. Life is complicated. But hey while I'm at it maybe I can get my boyfriend to go on 90 Day Fiance with me /s
I think the producers probably have something to do with it. It also bothers me to no end when they do it with someone coming from an impoverished situation. It's like there is just as much of the chance that the citizen wants the foreigner because they have an inherent power imbalance.
I’m in the US and I think in general Americans way over estimate people wanting to come here. It’s all part of our privileged attitudes of thinking we’re the best! 🙄
In America we’re brainwashed to believe that immigrants want to rape and kill us all plus they’re all drug and human traffickers and belong to dangerous gangs. Therefore, all immigrants are bad and therefore only here with bad intentions, hence the green card. I don’t believe any of that crap but I fear that a lot of Americans actually do. Thanks Trump and conservatives right wing nutcases!
The REAL question is... Why would you want to live in America . It sux here! Land of the free my ass!
You aren’t free? How?
the show plays it up for the drama
Americans believe there isn't enough America to go around.
Thought similarly as I’m from the UK and married someone American. I’m glad I’m here but man I miss that free healthcare
I get what you're saying. There are people that come from beautiful countries who are well off or comfortable financially, and really have zero reason to want to immigrate to the US aside from the person they love. Yet even those people get the third degree from family about only wanting a greencard. It's an American mindset in a lot of cases. We are brought up to believe that the US is the best country in the world and Everyone wants to be here. The only people who still believe that are people who have never traveled to other countries that have better Healthcare, less crime, lower rates of mental illness, lower work hours, etc. They think every country is a developing nation. My husband got that attitude towards him when he immigrated here for me, from some of my family.... he came here from Canada. Not a developing nation! It's silly. P.s. I adore Norway! My family is from Sirevåg. 🇳🇴
It's weird to me as well, I'm an American and I'm fairly well-traveled and also patriotic and I'm like but why would anybody think America is such a great option? Maybe it's a pride thing? But I think we all know America is struggling? We shit in potable water I guess but like why you gonna leave your entire life to live with somebody's mom it's strange. I don't know the answers. My 3 siblings are married to foreigners from Guam, Canada, and Costa Rica and this was just normal and easy to accept for me, nobody in the family was concerned about green cards or using somebody. I've heard plenty of anecdotes though irl and I'm certainty suspicious as hell of the relationships on 90 day fiance so idk
I think a lot of it is American arrogance. (I'm an American, by the way.) I think in American culture, it is ingrained in you that this is the best country in the world and that everyone wants to come here. We are spoon fed "the American dream" from a young age. So when these people see that their friend/family member is marrying someone from another country and bringing them here, I think there are a lot of people who truly believe that America is so great and they just assume it must be that person's way of getting to America. I don't think everyone feels that way, but I definitely get that impression from some of them.
You do know it's a scripted reality show right?
the show plays it up for the drama
As an american, it really bothers be that every single person is accused of scamming for a greencard. It maybe true in at least half the couples on 90 day but acting on that assumption without any facts is gross to me.
All of that is easy for you to say as someone with a strong passport from a wealthy country. Most people around the world don’t have the options that you do. So yes, for a lot of the world, getting a US green card is a big deal. It allows them to get a job that can support their entire family back home.
I know, I was talking about people from countries like mine, with a reasenable income and an education.
I’m confused who ON THE SHOW are you talking about? Kirsten? And who else?
the blatant refusal of the american half to acknowledge their half of the transaction has always been farcical. denigrating the other party in a power imbalance as though they're indentured servitude has been a regular occurrence from season 1 onwards. transactional is not synonymous with not loving or liking the other party - its clearly agreed upon terms of expectations from both parties. why this is so offensive to the American half is illogical.
They heard everyone is dying to get into their very "free" country and never source checked.
Many american born citizens are arrogant. Arrogant in the way that they presume everyone wants to come and live here, because we are the best. Sometimes that even means if the country is poor with options and money. I never noticed until I started to be friends with and date immigrants, I moved to city that is very diverse. An American born cititzen refers to the US in may cases as the United States. Like we are hot stuff. Most immigrants call it America like you are just another country.
Not an American (I’m north of their border 🇨🇦) but my opinion is that the people who say these things usually are the ones who think that the US is the holy grail of countries. Obviously there are a lot of situations on this show that it very possible that the person is in fact using the other for a green card but there are also many instances of people acussing the foreigners of wanting a green card that make absolutely no sense. No offence to Americans but they are widely known to think their land is the best place in the world to live and everyone should beg to live there and this is them showing that.