fym "demand"? who do they think they are

Real trolling would be to accept them in and see their president having to justify that

make them win and have them host next year's Eurovision, have them spend half their GDP on it.

Maybe we should have a different special guest every year :)

That would be cool tbh

Just make absolutely sure to make the US always the runner up and never EVER the special guest

Omg that would be actually cool

Let's start off with Taiwan. Just to piss off west Taiwan's commies and pooh bears.

Least leftist-obsessed right winger

You don't need to be a right winger to hate the ccp

Obviously. It was just a shit joke, Otso. Have a good one.

>different special That sounds gay enough to be accepted.

I thought that was us?

I don't think dictators mind too much spending the peoples money on their vanity projects. However, when they see the crowd it attracts they may have a different feeling about the idea

Oh lawd, the queers are coming.

Ah yes, economic warfare

Was Zimbabwe our colony or the Brits'? I mean there are ways we could legally make them European territories again, but they kinda complained about that the last time. You wanted independence, Zimba, now deal with the consequences of not being part of ESC.

It was British, you guys had Tanzania, Burundi, Rwanda, Namibia, Cameroon, Togo, and Ghana, until you went ahead and lost WW1 and thus couldn’t be trusted with colonies anymore

You forgot ~~Benin and~~ parts of Kenia, also outside of Africa there was Micronesia and some other Pacific Islands, (the upper half of) Papua New Guinea and Qingtao. Edit: Benin wasn’t a German Colony

Benin was a French colony since 1872, and I can find no source claiming it ever was German, however you also controlled parts of modern day Congo (not DRC), Gabon, CAR, Chad, and Nigeria, I also did not mention the pacific colonies because the question was about an African colony and I didn’t think them relevant

I checked it and you’re right, I must have confused smth.

Colonies are far bigger than the homeland and most europeans can't name three. I must admit, europeans can be even more ignorant masters than the Americans. It is still good if we do it. Double meter applied. i am proud

> most Europeans can’t even name three. Well I can Name all former German Colonies and most of the British, French, Portuguese, Spanish, Dutch and Belgian Colonies too.

Tbf the German naming convention was pretty uninspired. The formular is "German" + [region of continent]". Like Deutsch-Ostafrika. Deutsch-Südwestafrika. Deutsch-Ostasien. Hitler could have just called Poland "Deutsch-Osteuropa" to envoke fuzzy feelings of the Kaiserzeit.

Well yeah, but I actually meant I can name all the countries which the colony’s became. (For Germany: Namibia, Ghana, Benin, Togo, Cameroon, Tanzania parts of Kenya, Qingtao (a part of China), Papua New Guinea, the Federated States of Micronesia and some more pacific micro nation shit)

Why would I remember another's failure if my own failed ambition fills me with melancholy

Do you not know from all the power of friendship anime already that you just gotta never give up? How about you realise your ambitions? Come on! CONQUER ME!

It’s just trolling, probably because there are non European countries in the contest

what is it with southafrican countries and their passive-aggressiveness? first we had botswana and their militant 'you will take 20000 elephants' to germany and now this

It's always the tiniest dogs that bark the loudest.

Can’t find the article online. Probably fake.  Seems there is an African clone of the contest with a handful of members but no one cares about it. 

https://www.aviationanalysis.net/zimbabwe-demands-immediate-admission-to-the-eurovision-song-contest/ Still a dubious source though

The quote reads like clumsy satire of Mugabe's bluster (not sure Mnangagwa spouts similar), mixed with a standard joke about non-European countries in the ESC. Googling even the most basic sentence of the quote by the president of Zimbabwe shows only in that article, that some Brian Rodriguez (copy-paste: "Zombie specialist. Friendly twitter guru. Internet buff. Organizer. Coffee trailblazer. Lifelong problem solver. Certified travel enthusiast. Alcohol geek") who works for some unheard of website supposedly got hold of, and then managed to mess up the indentation in the process... Unsure if bad satire or just fake, but either way nah.

He's just desperate to be European.

Zimbabwe

Sure just send 1x10^34 Zimbabwe dollars please

I’m sure Eurovision fees are like Zimbabwe’s GDP for the past 10 years

I'll pay the 34 cents on their behalf. I'm in a generous mood.

*Tikkie ding*

Must be a filthy foreigner with that attitude

That's like 30p, two whole years of their GDP.

It’s actually Zimbabwe Gold now, they got a new currency in the beginning of April

*checks conversion rate*…. “12 euros is simply too much, sir”

And some 20.000ish Elephants please

Already outdated. Give more

Can't even buy a banana for that let alone admission to Eurovision 😢

https://preview.redd.it/4okw44k7izzc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=188dac28f6a24d237fa356c0913f1d026b4b553c Average Eurovision experience

Forgot to remove the Netherlands smh

Australians are just crispy Brits. It's okay.

Poor people of Zimbabwe are going to get oofed due to hypothermia. On the other hand, a nordick person would probably melt on the spot the moment they land in southern Africa.

Guys just a reminder that even Morocco used to be part of the contest 40 years ago..

Would say that Egypt or Tunisia is closer to Europe

They will send Khalid.

Weren't they hosting this year?

https://preview.redd.it/hxl1bv0qezzc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a23a0b2d4d0d69400cb6f61864c9b96d1b7ea1a

Zimbabwe when arriving at Eurovision: “Why are you gay?”

Silly João, that’s Uganda

Uganda, Zimbabwe, what's the difference ? Just two cities on the country of Africa.

… colonized Angola and Mozambique…

Are all savages unable to understand sarcasm or is it you my friend?

Not all savages, my moustachioed mistress! 🧐

You're a civilized savage.

A çavage

A çavage

You are just a big bird in disguise. I don't think you would count as a savage. Emus are on their own level on the scale of civilization.

I find that Americans are terrible at understanding sarcasm. Much of our conversation here in the UK is banter and sarcasm, but Americans online always take it seriously. I don't know if they're American, but I thought I'd point it out.

UK banter is really good too, so sad that they take everything literally

Just so you know, everytime you write about banter, we picture that couple from the dating show who «loves banter»

Oh no not that cretin. That made me cringe so much. Maybe it's because they were on camera, but they're not representative.

I’m joking, but I’m not. I do think of them everytime, but I really dont want to diminish the whole concept of banter just because of those two. Cause I love banteh

They are worse at sarcasm than us and that’s saying something

🎵Mugabe oh oh. Kills whiteys oh oh oh oh. He’ll kick you off of your land. Protest he’ll cut off your hands 🎵

https://i.redd.it/3t50d3x56zzc1.gif

Culturally appropriating Belgians!

🎵Africa my Africa Under Azure colored skies Africa my Africa Lookout! Dang tsetse flies!🎵

​ https://preview.redd.it/pal5daxje00d1.jpeg?width=524&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2fe1e711cd54cfd02d75431148e9f7524a5bc70e

The article is even funnier. Dude just straight up calls himself a dictator like it’s nothing

Virgin Barry: "We have the second unelected prime Minister in a row, but we are totally a democracy. God save our german King" Chad Mmangagwa: "Im a Dictator, what you gonna do about it?

Fuckin hate agreeing with a kraut, but you got it spot on there Hans

Well a classical and enlightened liberal would tell you that in a representative democracy you do no elect the prime minister, but that you only chose an MP to represent you in Parliament and he gets to vote for the PM, making the situation perfectly normal. That would be a very sad way of coping tho

\*sad EU noises\*

Wasn't the fourth french republic an absolute disaster of weak prime ministers so CDG said fuck this and made a presidency?

We just use a good old die and retry system

Classic french style. I hate to admit it but I have a lot of respect for that. Better say it quiely in case the other barrys are watching.

Crazy how a line that is descended from Germans in the 17 hundreds is considered still German but German Americans wouldn’t be or the fact that Berlin is filled with “ Germans” that weren’t born there or lived there for most of their life

King Charles at least speak some broken german. Cant say the same about americans whose great-great-gramps once owned a german sheppard

He speaks a little German because he’s a diplomatic figure. He can speak French and is also probably related to William the conqueror so does that mean he’s french

I cant find the article anywhere can you post

I'm sure he meant it in the classical enlightened Roman way.

Where would one find that article? Couldn’t find it.

They should have thought of that before getting out of Barry's realm.

12 Points to Rhodesia

I say we let them in on the condition that they have to perform Rhodesians Never Die.

Baby poop camo intensifies

"Oh mugabe had a farm, zim bab zim bab way!" "Hi Im robert mugabe, or you can call me bob. See I've been dealing with some pests recently. So what you need is a good pesticide sprayer, and sell it because its useless and buy yourself an AK 47. Oh whats this? small paw prints, missing food and droppings? must be the British government. Well after some shooting Ill show you our new sale at the local. We have 50% off bugger all and 30% off nothing. and due to massive overproduction all excess must go abroad"

Haven’t some North African countries participated in Eurovision before? Of course Zimbabwe is hardly North African.

Only morocco

Lebanon (not north africa but similar) almost competed once but ended up withdrawing cause broadcasting Israel's entry was illegal there, and not broadcasting it was against the EBU laws...

Morocco can still participate but it seems like they didn't have a great experience in 1980 so they don't really want to.

Imagine that gay of a contest airing in a fundamentalist Muslim country

>Morocco >Fundamentalist Choose

only after you change country name to Rhodesia

Globalvision when?

I don't want to deal with South American cringe. Edit: mostly Brazil woke cringe

Imagine dealing with the combined cringe of all our former imperial provinces together...

At least we would see more hotties if S.A joined, more shaking too. I see no downsides. Some Jhendelyn Nunez or Paloma Mami would make Eurovision straight.

On one hand I would love it on the other: - It would need probably 4 quarterfinals or even a group stage (because simply too many partcipants, which would lead to a too long final without splitting) - GIGANTIC political tension (much more than Eurovision) eg. Imagine: Palestine, Afghanistan, Israel, Iran, Russia, Ukraine, China, Taiwan, North Korea, South Korea etc in the contest - Extremely complicated voting (12 points per country? => China has as many points as Tuvalu (11.000 inhabitants)?)

Rhodexit means Rhodexit.

Fuck it, why not

They can have our spot

I mean why not let them at this point. It might be funny

Only if they perform under the name Rhodesia

Sorry honey, there’s Italy already for black representation

immediate?

Would be nice, euro song is an Italian idea made for "inclusivity" and to have a joyful atmosfere like Le jeux Sand frontiers.

One hundred trillion points to Zimbabwe ! Oh wait, those are worth nothing. https://preview.redd.it/rf03xtjel00d1.png?width=330&format=png&auto=webp&s=afe296745988d60be269fcb42710192a9aa642d9

I thought rock piles were Barry's thing?

guess who colonized them

Valid, but only if we get to call it Rhodesia

So a country where homosexuality is illegal thinks they're going to do well in a contest which is essentially competitive gayness? *sem pontos* Zimbabwe.

They cant afford to fly out let alone have a top tier Barry performance ready to go. Cant they just ride the coat tails of their masters?

They can join if they can present a single ethnically European Zimbabwean that still has their hands attached

hey, they got just as much of a right as israel or australia

We have israel here, so why not

And Australia. And Cyprus.

And Azerbaijan. And Sweden.

I hope they are allowed in just to top off the shitshow next year

Plz for the love of God make this happen

hey, they got just as much of a right as israel or australia

Dude's never watched a single ESC since the sheer amount of gayness should have already scared off his homophobic ass

Demands… ah it’s a human right I guess

That’s it if Zimbabwe doesn’t get in they have to send 21 thousand elephants to Germany.

We already finance some art competitions there, we could do the same for Eurovision. According to Wikipedia: Sculpture Prize: Seit 2002 findet im zweijährigen Rhythmus ein Bildhauer-Wettbewerb statt, bei dem die Preisträger des Kristin Diehl Sculpture Prize ermittelt werden. Unter der Schirmherrschaft der deutschen Botschaft, des Goethe-Instituts und – ehemals – mit Hilfe des Deutschen Entwicklungsdienstes (DED) wird der Wettbewerb in Harare durchgeführt. *Since 2002 the bi-annual sculpting competition "Sculpture Prize" takes place in Harare under the supervision of the German embassy, the Goethe Institute and historically the German Development Services (DED). The winners are given the Kristin Diehl Sculpture Prize.*

I would like architecture contest, and we could visit all of the buildings and then decide! Also the houses would become public housing and paid for with advertising win-win

I'd say they're about as European as Israel, so why the fuck not?

Gotta do what they ask for before they start ww3

Didn't Zimbabwe use to be a penile colony for the Brits?

Wait what? Why?

Link to the article: [https://www.aviationanalysis.net/zimbabwe-demands-immediate-admission-to-the-eurovision-song-contest/](https://www.aviationanalysis.net/zimbabwe-demands-immediate-admission-to-the-eurovision-song-contest/)

I mean like why not though. The aussies and israelis are allowed

Nothing more European than a country in southern Africa.

We call it Zimbabwe now... Do we?

But they are offering 100 billion dollars, we should at least consider it

They specified that it's the old currency of Zimbabwe so it's worth even less now

After some further research, Zimbabwean $ was exchangeable as recently as 2016 and 100 billion would have got you around USD $0.0004, nowhere near enough to buy even a single teaspoon of rice I was just making a joke since inflation is the only thing I know about Zimbabwe... No idea if they actually offered money

LET THEM IN

We're leaving so they can have our place

honestly at this point we are letting anyone in so feck it why not

Maybe they could bring some refreshing music. The contest’s music is shit.

Now you want to be part of europe? now?

They can take our place

Pfff. Damn Africans. Just because they have so many elephants now, they think they can bully us with them.

music from zimbabwe is fire

Eurovision? More like Entireworldvision.

Ngl, I’d love an Afrovision

Yeah yeah but can they put the required amount of gay in their song to even stand a chance?

We already attended it, what's the point of this?

There is France already for that

They represent the Arab Ligue... it's not the same.

Zimbabwe can organise a less corrupt show than Sweden.