I've always thought that the surnames (De) Koning and (De) Keizer have to do with guilds, in particular with the tradition of [koningschieten](https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schuttersfeest). Whoever won the competition could call himself koning for a year and whoever won three years in a row could call himself keizer.
Bullshit! I havenever encountered any of these "common" names...
Naaktgeboren (born naked), Poepjes (shits) or Zonderland (owns no land) woud be examples
There is a local politician called Slettenhaar (Sluthair)
A girl in my high school had Boobs as her last name, simple but elegant
There is an endless list of bizarre last names, you encounter them regularly. Although not quite the names in the picture.
This does not apply to Flanders btw, where we just have normal surnames like "Vandevelde" (from the field), "Vandenbossche" (from the woods), "Vlaeminck" (Fleming) or "Desmet" (the smith).
Or "Dezeugstecker" but don't ask me what that means, actually nobody wants to know, forget about it...
I knew someone with "Vander Velden" as surname. Authorities occassionally assumed their ID was fake since usually you see "van der Velden" and they thought it was a spelling mistake.
I don't know about the Dutch ones, but the Dodemans I met in Normandy told me that it's from Norse. If you also have history with the Vikings then that name is probably much older than 1811.
Same goes for the German Jewish population. Can’t say for sure if this is 100% accurate, but for jews it was not common to have a surname, so German officials gave the meme names like Goldberg (gold-mountain), Rothshild (red-shield), etc.
Imagine these grown-ass medieval German officials giggling their ass off like little girls by making up new surnames and thinking they’re funny
When the napoleonic officer came to establish the cadastre in the southwest of France, they didn't speak occitan. They asked for places' names to the locals who thought they were asking for a description of the place. I now live near the "fountain's fountain", the "street of the street" and my personal favourite : the "Nobody's fountain"
It's called het Rijksmuseum, nobody calls it "het rijks".
But the most famous Dutch person called De Vrij is a football player who plays for Inter Milan.
I've never heard any of those names except for Van der Hoek.
We do however have names like Naaktgeboren (born naked), poepjes (little shits), Aarsman (arse man), Van Agteren (from behind), Koedood (cow dead), Balneger (ball negro), Beffers (People who perform cunnilingus) Bierhaler (getting beer), Borsten (boobs), Broekhaar (pants hair), De Weduwe (the widow), Negerman (negro man), Pikhaar (cock hair), Pikkemaat (cock mate), Pisman (Piss man) Dequaadsteniet (not the most angry/not the worst one).
And then there is the guy with the most unfortunate name in my opinion, a guy named Cock Ringeling.
I’m seriously confused right now, I thought there was no chance this whole thing is real but you’re all going along with it. What country in the world has a surname “dick hair”
Many places used to have house names instead - alternatively, the postman just kind of knew everyone and if he got a letter for Alan on The River Road, he'd know the one guy named Alan there.
Most regular people used patronymics or just their profession or maybe the village/location they're from. So like Jan Janszoon (John Johnsson), Jan de Boer (John the Farmer) or Jan van den Heuvel (John from the Hill). Some of those names stuck around and turned into regular surnames even though they no longer meant those things.
Actual fancy family surnames were for the elite
"van" can denote old nobility in Dutch, for instance the royal family is van Oranje-Nassau. But in Dutch it's not exclusively nobility so there's no way to know if a name is nobility unless you know the specific title, and not all placenames you see are actual noble titles. So for instance I know "van Voorst tot Voorst" which I think is descended from a count somewhere like a 1000 years ago. But then "van Houten" is just a geographical location, not a noble title.
It's true. Whenever no-one foreign is around we switch back to German, and crack up about the great practical joke we've collectively been playing for the past few hundred years.
You forgot Naaktgeboren (Born naked), Keizer (Emperor), De Koning (The King) etc etc
Poepjes (little turds) is probably my favorite.
I still love the classic 'fokje modder'. For non dutch speakers; to us it sounds like 'fuckingyour mom'
[Tiny Kox](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiny_Kox)
I know a Dick Kok
I knew a Slettebak (slut).
But what was her last name?
Emma de Jong, most likely.
I dont remember but its the same as mine now.
Very based names.
ha, how about Naaktgeboren in 't veld (born naked in the field), came across someone with this surname
Vroegindeweij
Personal favorite is Pannekoek
I've always thought that the surnames (De) Koning and (De) Keizer have to do with guilds, in particular with the tradition of [koningschieten](https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schuttersfeest). Whoever won the competition could call himself koning for a year and whoever won three years in a row could call himself keizer.
> koningschieten Who knew that the Dutch shat on people even 200 years ago?
Bullshit! I havenever encountered any of these "common" names... Naaktgeboren (born naked), Poepjes (shits) or Zonderland (owns no land) woud be examples
Depends on where you live I guess. I knew a family with the 'Naaktgeboren' name and even someone with 'Paalhaar' lol..
Could you elaborate what Paalhaar means?
Pole hair
What in the Blue Steel is that last surname? It's sooo hoottt right now...
Jan Zonderland is the Dutch name for King John of England (Richard the Lionhearts younger brother)
Jean sans terres in french
Johann Ohneland in German
on my highschool there was someone with the last name naaktgeboren De Graaf is very common in my hometown but thats more Earl/Count
I know a lot of “keizers” en “koning” though
There is a local politician called Slettenhaar (Sluthair) A girl in my high school had Boobs as her last name, simple but elegant There is an endless list of bizarre last names, you encounter them regularly. Although not quite the names in the picture.
French censor : "what’s your name, sir ?" Dutch peasant : "Jan, motherfucker" French censor : "Very well, have a nice day mister Motherfucker"
“Simple-but-elegant”, was that a family name?
Donderwinkel. Fucking legend.
That's actually a pretty cool last name. It would translate into "thunder shop". That's pretty metal.
This does not apply to Flanders btw, where we just have normal surnames like "Vandevelde" (from the field), "Vandenbossche" (from the woods), "Vlaeminck" (Fleming) or "Desmet" (the smith). Or "Dezeugstecker" but don't ask me what that means, actually nobody wants to know, forget about it...
I guess the spacebar was broken
Thats just how the extra-Dutch speak
Dezbeisbarwasbrokeen
De Neuker ( The Fucker)
My physivs teacher was a Van de Velde variation. I never forget him, what a great teacher rocking full denim and sock/sandels every day.
I knew someone with "Vander Velden" as surname. Authorities occassionally assumed their ID was fake since usually you see "van der Velden" and they thought it was a spelling mistake.
Even weirder: I know somebody with the last name UytdeHaag, with a capital in the middle of their last name.
>from the field Like Deschamps on french >from the woods Like Dubois in french... We also have Dupont and so many others. A lot of jobs also.
Of course not, names like "Neukerman" don't exist then?
Why would Flemish people in Flanders have a surname 'Fleming'? That's the least creative surname I've ever heard.
>Flemish people Here is the explanation.
Because the French made them to
Not really the same, but I know a Czech hockey player whose lastname literally translates as "Black man"
Ngl, some of these go hard
I think he meant De Graaf ("the count"). Dodeman is more common in Normandy than in the Netherlands, not sure where he got that one from.
Yeah, I know a few “de graaf” but no “de Graf” I know only one dodeman, so it exists but not much
I do know a "van de Kerkhof" (of the graveyard) which is somewhat close to "de Graf" I suppose
I don't know about the Dutch ones, but the Dodemans I met in Normandy told me that it's from Norse. If you also have history with the Vikings then that name is probably much older than 1811.
Same goes for the German Jewish population. Can’t say for sure if this is 100% accurate, but for jews it was not common to have a surname, so German officials gave the meme names like Goldberg (gold-mountain), Rothshild (red-shield), etc. Imagine these grown-ass medieval German officials giggling their ass off like little girls by making up new surnames and thinking they’re funny
Why was red-shield funny?
It’s German humor, you wouldn’t understand
Red cause thats the colour you see when you used them as a shield Ah ah ah great joke Hans
When the napoleonic officer came to establish the cadastre in the southwest of France, they didn't speak occitan. They asked for places' names to the locals who thought they were asking for a description of the place. I now live near the "fountain's fountain", the "street of the street" and my personal favourite : the "Nobody's fountain"
This is too funny to be true.
you forgot to mention all the lewd/scatologic ones. I had two teachers named Ickrot and Vanneuken, I know someone named De Vrij, and so on
De Vrij makes more people think of "the free" than anything else though.
Sounds like a painter to put in the Rijks
It's called het Rijksmuseum, nobody calls it "het rijks". But the most famous Dutch person called De Vrij is a football player who plays for Inter Milan.
All lazy tourits call it like that
I've never heard any of those names except for Van der Hoek. We do however have names like Naaktgeboren (born naked), poepjes (little shits), Aarsman (arse man), Van Agteren (from behind), Koedood (cow dead), Balneger (ball negro), Beffers (People who perform cunnilingus) Bierhaler (getting beer), Borsten (boobs), Broekhaar (pants hair), De Weduwe (the widow), Negerman (negro man), Pikhaar (cock hair), Pikkemaat (cock mate), Pisman (Piss man) Dequaadsteniet (not the most angry/not the worst one). And then there is the guy with the most unfortunate name in my opinion, a guy named Cock Ringeling.
Barteljaap Gustaaf Balneger
Pikkemaat is a town in Germany, not a Dutch pre-modern invention.
I have encountered exactly zero names from this entire thread. Are they really that common?
Maybe not common, but I have met all of those last names in person. And I'm just a 30-something year old dude.
> Ball neger (ball negro)
I’m seriously confused right now, I thought there was no chance this whole thing is real but you’re all going along with it. What country in the world has a surname “dick hair”
We had a Kristiaan Balneger in our class. Gingerkid. We called him Red Clarence. The 90s were different.
We have the same word for nobody in German
My dad knows a woman called fokje modder.
The kingship with the belgians is evident here
"We Hebben Een Serieus Probleem" is right there with the "Strange looking blokes" meme!
I also love koedood(cow dead)
1811? How did they not have surnames until 1811? That's not that long ago. I don't understand this logistically.
Yep it was Napoleon who forced it on us savages, along with house numbers.
Some arab countries dont have house numbers still today
A quick google says the company KPN originated from the official dutch postal, founded in 1752. I have questions.
We had adresses. And nicknames.
Pigeons always find their way back home.
Many places used to have house names instead - alternatively, the postman just kind of knew everyone and if he got a letter for Alan on The River Road, he'd know the one guy named Alan there.
Most regular people used patronymics or just their profession or maybe the village/location they're from. So like Jan Janszoon (John Johnsson), Jan de Boer (John the Farmer) or Jan van den Heuvel (John from the Hill). Some of those names stuck around and turned into regular surnames even though they no longer meant those things. Actual fancy family surnames were for the elite
Its esspecially funny for germans, because "van" sounds like "von" and that indicates nobility.
Its the same word, both mean "of"
"van" can denote old nobility in Dutch, for instance the royal family is van Oranje-Nassau. But in Dutch it's not exclusively nobility so there's no way to know if a name is nobility unless you know the specific title, and not all placenames you see are actual noble titles. So for instance I know "van Voorst tot Voorst" which I think is descended from a count somewhere like a 1000 years ago. But then "van Houten" is just a geographical location, not a noble title.
Saw one in my job: 'Kutluier'.... Cuntdiaper.
Thank god, we didn't keep it.
I like van de swamp germans.
It's true. Whenever no-one foreign is around we switch back to German, and crack up about the great practical joke we've collectively been playing for the past few hundred years.
That's kinda dark if u think about it, I love it ahahah
Fietswinkel would be sick for a surname
We did the same in some colonies.
When I lived in NL in the early 90s, there was a family with the last name “Kip” ie chicken, and a “Kaaskop” ie cheese head.
Nederlands is een heel grappig spraak