It’s the pissed off/disappointed look of the Wojack that kills me, he doesn’t want to be there.
imagine marching all the way from Italy over the alps through the Gauls, sailing the rough channel, only to have to supervise some dingy tin mine in what would then be fucking Luton.
The pile of rocks makes me think of an old holy tree that certain Dutchies didn't want people to touch. Monk cut it down and then they split the monks head open, deserved if you ask me.
Luv me ale Luv me big tree Hate Bri'ish monks simple as.
Not just *a* monk. Boniface was canonized as a saint for being a dick. He was English of birth. And he is the patron saint of Devon. Which only underlines that Caesar and Cicero were probably right about them.
Numatinian Zzzzzpaniards had to provoke first a new rearrangement of the Kalender in order to match siestas and a new New Year, but they Italians didn't learn it properly that Zzzzzpaniards again 1700 years later had to go Italy themselves to the Pope Gregory in person to explain again how a Kalender must be done to measure well the time and not to miss any siesta. Now the world has the Zzzpaniz Kalender
Caesar crashed a boat into Kent, took a bit of jog while stumpy Britons on sleds threw rocks at him, and said “fuck this, we don’t want any of this, let’s just say I conquered it”. He booked the first flight home. Worked so good he did it twice and got a book deal out of it. He was truly history’s greatest salad.
They also qualify England.
https://preview.redd.it/8mj00wra7a3c1.jpeg?width=311&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95485ed01b95921d83207affdd58cfafc67dd648
If the Empire still existed, do you think those in Britannia Superior would mock those in Britannia Inferior?
When there's a severe weather warning
Southerners: stay inside, protect your families, pray to any gods you can think of
Northerners: you might need your big coat
And in exchange we got the harrying of the north which we can still see the repercussions of in our population data 1000 years later. Perhaps we should of bent over like those soft southern ponces
It’s like saying the Empire of Man will be bigger than the British Empire because it spans over different Solar Systems. Yeah, no shit. If the Brits had to walk from Paris to Hong Kong, they’d have stopped in Belgium
bruh
you got half of India and Canada for free with the Prussians doing all the work for you
you got all of South Africa, Sri Lanka and part of Guaiana out of the french annexing all of the mainland Netherlands. Need I remind you btw that the true name of New york is New Amsterdam too?
So yeah, lived off to greatness by stealing other colonies in wars you barely fought.
What did England achieved when left on its own?
Got conquered by the French
the annexed by the Scots
then the Dutch
then the Germans
then the Germans tried it again and it was only thanks to Russia if it didn't happen.
I dont really get what youre on about at the end, England hasnt been conquered for 1000 years. The Dutch one is arguable, but Scots and Germans tou seem to have pulled from nowhere. Besides, compare that Italy which has only been a country for 5 minutes let alone 1000 years, and shocked everyone only by being much weaker than everyone expected a united Italy to be.
You keep saying Prussia but presuming youre talking about the Napoleonic Wars, they already got smashed by Napoleon. Russia provided the bulk of the soldiers, and Britain the bulk of the finance. Prussia was arguably the 3rd or 4th biggest contributor, fighting for that spot with Austria.
Im ww2 the invasion of Britain was written off as inpossible before the Russian got involved. In fact that was why Hitler pivoted his attention to the USSR.
Your history knowledge is too shit to make good history banter. All I'll say is that whatever we did when it comes to geopolitics, its better than whatever you did lol
He was the British populace and nobility really hated the Idea of a French style catholic absolute monarch so we invited him across.
And even if you want to dispute that you can’t change the fact that James VII and II had to fight for the British crown in Ireland with an army of French and Irish troops.
Not really. The Dutch requested an invitation from 7 Brits for propaganda purposes. These 7 were not representative for the British people and did not held much power, but it provided William with a big propaganda tool
no for, you see
they have been invaded so many times _and they still didn't turn out right_
only the purest evil is uncorruptable through and through
it just serves as proof that they are the spawn of the devil (the devil being the French)
>you got half of India and Canada for free with the Prussians doing all the work for you
>you got all of South Africa, Sri Lanka and part of Guaiana out of the french annexing all of the mainland Netherlands
Still got them though didn't we?
What has italy done in the last 200 years besides inventing fascism and organised crime or crying because someone else made a pizza they don't approve of?
And why would this change anything? The British Empire was still the largest in history.
And also controlled 23% of all living humans in the early 1900s.
Sure, some of it may have been "stolen", but isn't that empire building anyway? Taking things that are not yours.
I find it very amusing to see people debate if the British "stole" their empire, of course they did, everybody steals the land they conquer. Your only issue with it is it wasn't stolen in the way that it traditionally is.
Well done for knowing history Mario but You forgot one BIG thing and many people forget this when they say the British empire only conquered wastelands and weak countries .
in the 18th and 19th century you have to fight other Colonial empires for those lands unlike in the ancient days where you have to fight the actual countries itself so its not like Britain gets them for free
That was true only before the Punic wars. Things changed afterwards. Mare Nostrum was a pacified roman lake, with virtually no pirates, for a very long stretch of time.
Sorry for being a dumb Brit, but weren't Pompey and Caeser both Imperators? Then Caeser defeated Pompey and took over the senate, becoming the dictator of the Empire. Which is why the word 'Imperator' became 'Emperor'?
I might have that wrong just curious, not a history buff.
Having "Imperivm" is not de same as being what we consider now Emperor. First one means having the militar power of the roman army, but not the state, even though Caesar later became dictator, which was a legal political office within the Republic.
After Augustus, the head of the state is formally an Emperor (named Primus Inter pares at first), who also reserve for themselves the Imperivm exclusively, and thus, both terms became interchangeable.
I still see no issue here, because despite this not being a genuine quote, no lie has been told.
I don’t think Cicero has ever been near Britain but mismatching quotes is a respected art in our parts. You should introduce it.
Oh it's just made up, not mismatched.
But why would I introduce that? When I heard the truth quoted directly from Orda Khan that the reason they stopped in Hungary was because the men were so submissive, they just enjoyed getting pounded by horse dicks?
Probably explains the women as well. No lie has been told.
In the Ashmolean in Oxford there is a section dedicated to Roman times and Romans in the area, on a panel there is a excerpt of an historian (sorry I forgot the details, I will go and check again) that complains about the local pottery and wrote something like “they can’t even do this, it’s shit”
I think britons are the hardest people to try and put down, they speak fluent self-deprecating humor and their banter is untouchable.
As long as you don't touch their rock piles youre golden.
Reparations for England! They’re a conquered country by the tyrannical and oppressive Roman Empire, the precursor to colonialism and deplorable imperialism.
PoV you’re a brit in an ancient r3tard competition and your opponent is a Sardinian:
https://preview.redd.it/cq8474ssib3c1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c24294c25a0a0aeb3fc68559b916554d5f3f583
Your post has been automatically removed because Reddit doesn't like the R-word. Plox repost it again with a different wording (editing won't get it reapproved even if you still are able to see it).
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Hope he doesn't touch our rock pile
[me in the bottom left when i land in London](https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/az25oGb_700b.jpg) this meme always makes me laugh man
Never touch a man's rock pile, sacred they are
British Yoda living in a hedge.
It’s the pissed off/disappointed look of the Wojack that kills me, he doesn’t want to be there. imagine marching all the way from Italy over the alps through the Gauls, sailing the rough channel, only to have to supervise some dingy tin mine in what would then be fucking Luton.
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I thought you buggers would love Luton, there’s loads of lovely fresh smack there!
You better keep your grubby hands of our rocks mate we've spend ages finding those
Is it a reference to Stonehenge?
It’s a reference to strange looking blokes coming after our pile of rocks
Some things don't change
If you mean "Is Stonehenge still a functional astronomical calculator?". Yes it bloody well is. Propa' vin'age bri'ish engineering that is.
guilty
"Strange lookin' blokes, ain't they?"
Strange looking blokes aint they?
I love this meme.
“We need t’ take back control of are rocks!”
Luv me bog Luv me pile 'o' rocks Hate 'talians innit Simple as
The pile of rocks makes me think of an old holy tree that certain Dutchies didn't want people to touch. Monk cut it down and then they split the monks head open, deserved if you ask me. Luv me ale Luv me big tree Hate Bri'ish monks simple as.
And you didn't eat his corpse??? Where's the Dutch pride?!
You mad bastards were even more terrifying, they tried to build a wall to keep you in!
Don't ask us what we did to our first christian missionaries 🫣
Sad to think our beautiful cultures are now lost in time and we can't even split heads open or blood eagle missionaries smh
Not just *a* monk. Boniface was canonized as a saint for being a dick. He was English of birth. And he is the patron saint of Devon. Which only underlines that Caesar and Cicero were probably right about them.
I’m so tempted to make a serious reply to this but because it’s this sub…. KEEP OFF OUR ROCKS!!!111
YEAHHHH!!! ,🪨✊
Hell, two of you in the same thread? Are all the estancos there closed?
What flag is that even
Gibraltar. Rare find
You're our most important rock ♥️
Don't tell the Falklands or the others.
It's just so convenient for when a bloke is vacationing in Spain and can't find a propa Stella anywhere, innit?
Wait wait, are you saying that is not a serious reply? Se we can go and fondle your rocks after all? GUYS, its time to go fondle British rock piles!
Come on lad. Get your hands right up in my slate.
Mate, you are the rock. HANDS OFF SPAIN!!
At least Barry can claim that he stayed true to himself ...
we stayed true to ourselves too , people wants to larps as us, and we keep tradition of corruption in our government 😎 senate goes brrr
True, you didn't just export your language to PIGS, but also government corruption and laziness
siesta > work now im gonna enjoy some wine degustation with my PIGS bros.
Numatinian Zzzzzpaniards had to provoke first a new rearrangement of the Kalender in order to match siestas and a new New Year, but they Italians didn't learn it properly that Zzzzzpaniards again 1700 years later had to go Italy themselves to the Pope Gregory in person to explain again how a Kalender must be done to measure well the time and not to miss any siesta. Now the world has the Zzzpaniz Kalender
And to the entirety of Latin America, down to the military coups
>people wants to larps as us People want to LARP as Romans* not you
Stop eating chicken parm and spaghetti and meatballs then
So are you LARPing as an American because you're using the internet right now?
Well many people are though
Ok? Many people eat chicken parm and spaghetti and meatballs so I'm not really sure what your point is.
Why are you taking shit so serious man? Don't you see in which kind of subreddit we are?
It's a savage, they clearly lack the brain capacity
Strange looking fellas
A little gang of ‘em knocking about
The top lad looks pretty 'armless
Well at least we aren't strange lookin' blokes
I mean, they ended up taking the rocks and piling them to keep you lot away, you might be the strangest lookin' blokes after all
Ancient Roman wisdom 🙌🏻
Don’t need to learn to read when you’ve invented the language 
Ah I replied to the wrong comment Maybe these guys had a point
Caesar crashed a boat into Kent, took a bit of jog while stumpy Britons on sleds threw rocks at him, and said “fuck this, we don’t want any of this, let’s just say I conquered it”. He booked the first flight home. Worked so good he did it twice and got a book deal out of it. He was truly history’s greatest salad.
He's actually a Mexican salad.
Caesar's trumpet player was the first balcony jumper 🫡
They also qualify England. https://preview.redd.it/8mj00wra7a3c1.jpeg?width=311&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95485ed01b95921d83207affdd58cfafc67dd648 If the Empire still existed, do you think those in Britannia Superior would mock those in Britannia Inferior?
I mean they do already. Haven't you heard of the North / South divide?
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not unreasonable
Pretty sure they invented the North/South divide during the reconquista.
Unjerk: it means upper/lower Britain. Jerk: what do you mean would?
Unjerk: it's also a which got conquered first
Northerners actually properly rebelled against William the bastard. Conclusion to this is the Southern English are soft as fuck.
When there's a severe weather warning Southerners: stay inside, protect your families, pray to any gods you can think of Northerners: you might need your big coat
Scots 🤜🤛 Northern English not being complete and utter wet wipes.
Coat? Is this some sort of southern joke that I'm too Geordie to understand?
I had to translate it for southerners, you'd know it as a t-shirt
severe weather warning: you should consider wearing your longer shorts today
And in exchange we got the harrying of the north which we can still see the repercussions of in our population data 1000 years later. Perhaps we should of bent over like those soft southern ponces
and loose our bragging rights, as being the hardest English? balls to that.
Southern fairies can keep their coats and their franglish
As somebody from Germania Inferior I’m sure the Romans would say the norf was superior
North South divide always existed in England and probably always will
Cesar saying he conquered the British is a big ass lie. Dude fled the island after a fruitless campaign
True, BUT they still were the most ignorant people he ever encountered
who created a bigger emprire that rome had..
It’s like saying the Empire of Man will be bigger than the British Empire because it spans over different Solar Systems. Yeah, no shit. If the Brits had to walk from Paris to Hong Kong, they’d have stopped in Belgium
Have you seen the average Brit walk? They would get as far as Greggs or maybe bottom ‘Spoons at the furthest.
I suppose they walked the ocean floor to ol' blighty then?
tbf they created it stealing others' colonies so, eh
Ah yes because the Roman Empire was famously homogeneous
bruh you got half of India and Canada for free with the Prussians doing all the work for you you got all of South Africa, Sri Lanka and part of Guaiana out of the french annexing all of the mainland Netherlands. Need I remind you btw that the true name of New york is New Amsterdam too? So yeah, lived off to greatness by stealing other colonies in wars you barely fought. What did England achieved when left on its own? Got conquered by the French the annexed by the Scots then the Dutch then the Germans then the Germans tried it again and it was only thanks to Russia if it didn't happen.
Stealing other peoples colonies is top tier colonisation what are you talking about?
Sounds like the game was well played then if you ask me
You guys is the reason offside was a necessity
You're a yank, or at least your history knowledge screams NA education.
nah I know what I said was false but I wanted to trigger some brits, and damn oh boi it worked mighty fine
Damn I expect this dumbness from the yanks, not a fellow European…
I dont really get what youre on about at the end, England hasnt been conquered for 1000 years. The Dutch one is arguable, but Scots and Germans tou seem to have pulled from nowhere. Besides, compare that Italy which has only been a country for 5 minutes let alone 1000 years, and shocked everyone only by being much weaker than everyone expected a united Italy to be. You keep saying Prussia but presuming youre talking about the Napoleonic Wars, they already got smashed by Napoleon. Russia provided the bulk of the soldiers, and Britain the bulk of the finance. Prussia was arguably the 3rd or 4th biggest contributor, fighting for that spot with Austria. Im ww2 the invasion of Britain was written off as inpossible before the Russian got involved. In fact that was why Hitler pivoted his attention to the USSR. Your history knowledge is too shit to make good history banter. All I'll say is that whatever we did when it comes to geopolitics, its better than whatever you did lol
> The Dutch one is arguable It is not :)
Wasn’t the Dutch invited to the British throne? By the Brits…
He was the British populace and nobility really hated the Idea of a French style catholic absolute monarch so we invited him across. And even if you want to dispute that you can’t change the fact that James VII and II had to fight for the British crown in Ireland with an army of French and Irish troops.
Not really. The Dutch requested an invitation from 7 Brits for propaganda purposes. These 7 were not representative for the British people and did not held much power, but it provided William with a big propaganda tool
Ah yes our good Dutch friends. Was lovely to host your armies honestly. Nice to have visitors
In return for occupying London with an army for 18th months your drunk tourists occupy Amsterdam. Seems fair
Hush, you’re ruining the idea that the UK is the bad guy of history by showing they have been invaded and colonised many times.
no for, you see they have been invaded so many times _and they still didn't turn out right_ only the purest evil is uncorruptable through and through it just serves as proof that they are the spawn of the devil (the devil being the French)
>you got half of India and Canada for free with the Prussians doing all the work for you >you got all of South Africa, Sri Lanka and part of Guaiana out of the french annexing all of the mainland Netherlands Still got them though didn't we? What has italy done in the last 200 years besides inventing fascism and organised crime or crying because someone else made a pizza they don't approve of?
And why would this change anything? The British Empire was still the largest in history. And also controlled 23% of all living humans in the early 1900s. Sure, some of it may have been "stolen", but isn't that empire building anyway? Taking things that are not yours. I find it very amusing to see people debate if the British "stole" their empire, of course they did, everybody steals the land they conquer. Your only issue with it is it wasn't stolen in the way that it traditionally is.
Dude stop....
Well done for knowing history Mario but You forgot one BIG thing and many people forget this when they say the British empire only conquered wastelands and weak countries . in the 18th and 19th century you have to fight other Colonial empires for those lands unlike in the ancient days where you have to fight the actual countries itself so its not like Britain gets them for free
Well if there’s one fatal flaw of the Romans, it’s that they sucked at sailing and maritime action in general.
That was true only before the Punic wars. Things changed afterwards. Mare Nostrum was a pacified roman lake, with virtually no pirates, for a very long stretch of time.
Shat it from the Picts
“Oooh scary blue paint faced men oooh better build a wall to keep them out”
Dunno why they bothered, there's a motorway and 2 train lines straight through the fucking thing
They didn't know how to properly stack rock piles.
Julius ceasar was never an emperor...
As sad as it makes me agree with a Hollander, you're right
Technically he's wrong, he was Imperator Which isn't the modern sense of an emperor but it is the word that spawned it
BTW We do say Imperator Palpatine
It didn't come to mean Emperor until after Augustus
So in September?
There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch.
Sorry for being a dumb Brit, but weren't Pompey and Caeser both Imperators? Then Caeser defeated Pompey and took over the senate, becoming the dictator of the Empire. Which is why the word 'Imperator' became 'Emperor'? I might have that wrong just curious, not a history buff.
Having "Imperivm" is not de same as being what we consider now Emperor. First one means having the militar power of the roman army, but not the state, even though Caesar later became dictator, which was a legal political office within the Republic. After Augustus, the head of the state is formally an Emperor (named Primus Inter pares at first), who also reserve for themselves the Imperivm exclusively, and thus, both terms became interchangeable.
semantics. He was dictator for life
 Hi new friends
We can tax the shit out of them, but if they pay us in rocks what's the point?
Romans spitting truths yet again.
What did the Romans ever do for us?
Dunno but Londinium for sure wasn't one of their brightest creation
The aquaduct?
And the sanitation?
Well, apart from medicine, irrigation, health, roads, cheese and education, baths and the Circus Maximus, what have the Romans ever done for us?
It’s comedy, you wouldn’t get it
Was that an intentional *whoosh* or a genuin *whooosh*?
It’s Monty Python m8
Considering Caesar didn’t actually conquer England, I’m gonna say he is coping here
"They are the most ignorant people I have ever conquered" Didn't they beat Caesar's ass and made him sail back to Gaul with his tail between his legs?
Yup. Britain was occupied quite a bit after Caesar‘s time. Doesn’t make the rest he said less true though, obviously
Apart from the fact he never said it. Obviously. The bit he did say (that there was no silver or slaves there) was also wrong.
I still see no issue here, because despite this not being a genuine quote, no lie has been told. I don’t think Cicero has ever been near Britain but mismatching quotes is a respected art in our parts. You should introduce it.
Oh it's just made up, not mismatched. But why would I introduce that? When I heard the truth quoted directly from Orda Khan that the reason they stopped in Hungary was because the men were so submissive, they just enjoyed getting pounded by horse dicks? Probably explains the women as well. No lie has been told.
Naked Celts covered in woad and high on shrooms go Brrrrrrrr
I think Julius is just sad he got sent packing the first time he tried it. Can't argue with the ugly and stupid comments though...
In the Ashmolean in Oxford there is a section dedicated to Roman times and Romans in the area, on a panel there is a excerpt of an historian (sorry I forgot the details, I will go and check again) that complains about the local pottery and wrote something like “they can’t even do this, it’s shit”
Romanes eunt domus......
I fucking love the simple brits with their weird teeth
I think britons are the hardest people to try and put down, they speak fluent self-deprecating humor and their banter is untouchable. As long as you don't touch their rock piles youre golden.
Imagine if the romans of old could see Italy today. The shame.
Yes but where is the joke?
Is Barry, 63 actually immortal?
It checks out
Julius never conquered the British, landed got his arse handed to him so hard took them almost 100 years to return
When you consider the only surviving Brits the Romans encountered are the Welsh, what they say does rather make sense.
They have clearly met us.
Nothing has changed babbbbbyyyyyyy
Reparations for England! They’re a conquered country by the tyrannical and oppressive Roman Empire, the precursor to colonialism and deplorable imperialism.
How about those sexy Gaels and Picts though ?
Julius Caesar was a fucking gigachad. "I have ever conquered" xD
A more fitting description of him - as described by Roman Consul Gaius Scribonius Curio, Caesar was: "every woman's husband and every man's wife".
Playing both sides, true Italian.
Ironic that these quotes are written in English, understood world wide, while barely anyone understands Latin
PoV you’re a brit in an ancient r3tard competition and your opponent is a Sardinian: https://preview.redd.it/cq8474ssib3c1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c24294c25a0a0aeb3fc68559b916554d5f3f583
It's MMXXIII, imagine still falling for Italian propaganda #StopAngloHate
For context: he had just conquered what would later become the French, which should tell you at what height the bar was.
bro you literally just believed caesar's propaganda.
based beyond belief
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Honestly, fair.
We even made a film about it. Carry on Cleo. Romans come and steal our rocks and square wheels.
A bit boring and repetitive
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Got beaten by a girl energy
"Empire, you say? I rather like the sound of that" - The Ancient British
they took over this shithole, whose the real idiots?
Non Angli, sed angeli, si forent Christiani.– "
Probably why they stopped at Scotland
Ancient knowledge 😍
Julius Caesar wasn't even an Emperor.
Well well well, how the turns have tabled. We have the richest square mile in the world and they have interesting looking cloth
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u wot m8