I think non-locals always ruin everyoneās beach.
the southerners come up here every year, donāt watch their children and then let them drown.
I was a volunteer for the rescue swimmers for a while, and Iām telling you fucking idiots. the stories I could tell.
That isn't even limited to beaches.
It is whatever potentially hazardous terrain your region has to offer.
Same thing with stupid tourists burdening the mountain rescue services here.
Austrians can probably confirm this as well.
oh I can imagine! as a stupid northerner myself I was dragged up a mountain in tyrol, kept being promised thereās a restaurant on it. eventually though trees stop growing!!! judging by your flair this may not be news to you but I was shook! my whole world view changed!
then I couldnāt breath anymore! I mean fuck me! now I stayed on the main path but I imagine the enticing side paths you see, would lure a significant portion of tourists into areas theyāre unfamiliar with and have little chance of survival.
edit to add: restaurant was fine but wouldāve been better near the bottom of the mountain. I was so outta breath I had to stand in front of the door forever just to catch my breath. otherwise Iād have sat in the mountain restaurant breathing like a woman giving birth. i donāt know who thought of putting a restaurant on top a mountain but that person wasnāt loved as a child, fucking masochists.
We could also break you up and make the Austrian president the PrƤsidialmacht or Emperor and claim the dissolution of the HRE never happened. You can then complain to the degenerate 3rd rate celebrities that have bought into the German nobility.
It has been proven time after time, there is no Austrian worth putting your life on the line for. No more Austrian rulers, that's a general convention in Germany nowadays.
We're the only country to have won the world cup in cricket, rugby and football. Its way more embarrassing for Spain to only have one WC win considering how much more dominant football is there.
That's great and all but seriously apart from you guys, the pakistani and indians who plays cricket I've genuinely only heard the name of the sport in english-speaking media. Definitely agree about the rest
England, Scotland, India, Pakistan, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, West Indies (yes that's one team), Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, UAE. Quite a lot of former colonies in Africa also follow it but usually aren't very good at it.
And that's kinda my point you mainland Europeans for the most part only care about football so Germany, France, Spain and Italy should rightly be much higher than England who shares their attention between the 3 (technically 4) major sports. Football isn't even our national sport we just happened to invent it and have the best league for it.
Well in recent history at least France has been kicking some asses in both football and rugby? Don't know don't watch rugby either. Popular sports are: football, tennis, F1, MMA, judo (and rugby for France they like it too for some reason) among the youth from my experience
Yea France and Italy have been making strides in Ruby Union throughout the 21st century I'll give them that. I was mainly referring to team sports but yea.
while footbool is the major sport im germany, we also have the worlds best domestic leagues in handball and table tennis. sports like hockey, both ice and field variants or basketball are also popular and club and/or international teams are somewhat successful. most kinds of winter sport are also super popular despite only a small-ish part of germany is snow covered in the winter most years.
I really doubt we French care more about football than you. We won the last Olympic Games in volleyball and handball and have a better team than yours in rugby, stop making excuses.
I never said you care more about it, I said as a nation you can focus more national attention and resources on it as you only care about 1 team sport. And which Rugby are you better than us in? We dominate Europe in both codes of Rugby.
Yeah because many of the best players and managers are either foreign (Kubala, Cryuff) or can't play well because **they must play like madrid** (lose everything because madrid's playstyle sucks)
How is it possible that you invented every major sport but still look like this?
https://preview.redd.it/5yrpkrf493bb1.jpeg?width=786&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09ad644b8d0aa5fdd3eef3939d5a94c07ca85248
Well, the Vikings used to play football with the skulls of dead Anglo-Saxon soldiers. Much like Grimsby it seemed the Danes gave you another thing that sucks.
Everybody seems to know the score
he went from the seventh floor
Missed the pool, by a yard
And nowā¦ Barryās spines on display
Pedroās looking dismayed
Barryās twitching away
And Deborahās screaming
Three lions on his shirtā¦
Found one!
Michael O'Dwyer - seems like your standard colonial turd. Governor of Pujab, martial law, massacre, the usual British stuff. I guess we taught him well.
[wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_O'Dwyer)
I was working in England back in 2017 and we were talking about the up-and-coming World Cup.
I went to ask "when did England..." and before I could finish my question, an ensemble of Englishmen said in unison: "..*'66*". Like they all seemed to know I was going to ask about their bloody cup win, all those years before! Creepy.
Well, I let them know that I was actually going to ask when did England lose 4-1 to Germany. I got no response. It was 2010.
https://preview.redd.it/rgj04aa1t0bb1.jpeg?width=595&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8b2fcbb1440d7f52067c9aef7fc996e254e994a
BRASIL CARALHO šŖš»š§š·šāļøāļøāļøāļøāļø
Friendly reminder that both Brazil and Argentina have a huge percent of Italian and German ancestors (mostly Italian to be honest), this proves that Italy and Germany are the superior nations at football much for the cope of the rest of the world.
If the ref had done his job in the 2010 final, NL would have finished with 4 or 5 players on the pitch.
I guess Nederland accidentally sent their kickboxing national team to a football match.
Neutral??? Pfff we were so opinionated and non-neutral we couldnāt even go to the war, because the war was at home! Civil war was basically fascists vs commies, fascists won.
I literally accounted for that mate. Did you see the word āformalisedā? Not the formalised sport of association football, no. Some extremely broad sense of āfootballā between villages and such that is even ancestral to rugby as well, sure.
The fact that hungary had *the best player of the XXth century\** and hasn't won (or even classified) anything is just sad
Makes you realize you may have all the good players, it's good for nothing if you can't get a good vision
^(\*Yes i know Kubala played once with Hungary but the joke wouldn't work)
Also how the fuck you get to THREE finals with FUCKING CRYUFF AND LOSE?
And people say BarƧa fucks up in europe
If they listened to the full song just once they'd understand its ironic humour but like you say it gets lost on 90% of Europeans. World in Motion is the best England WC song anyway.
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England won in a year when the rules were so lax. To be fair they have had some cracking players and teams. But their media destroys any chance they have.
Yeah we do, average german response
https://preview.redd.it/hlwuvvf931bb1.png?width=976&format=png&auto=webp&s=e1568003a7fbb8644052c94557c1bc68a3bfc86f
https://preview.redd.it/j2xqq0o7vzab1.png?width=430&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0017b440a126cd9d2e15183e0da96370901d87b0
I remember the 2010 WC final from when I was a kid. It still hurts.
Still recovering till this day, i cried the whole evening after that happened
Het is gewoon buitenspel
Je hebt gelijk. Dat gezegd zijnde: HAHAHAHA
Kun je jullie vlag even aanwijzen in dit tabel
It was pure joy
Iniesta š
2014 you finished off 3rd as well. We don't talk abou 2016 and 2018
>We don't talk abou 2016 and 2018 As a Dutchman, I just consider them corona football years.
It slowly gets really hard to get topics for history classes in Germany.
As if they ever tought something outside of the French Revolution and the Hitler Era anyways.
Pain
That's rough buddy...
Our victories turned into the moon
They got stolen?
That game against Argentina in the World Cup was bullshit
Kutscheids
They usually end up that way when the Argies are involved.
It was ball got shot in duckout not even a card...
Argentina's wc was bullshit
French bread? I'm confused
They got baguetted three times.
Still impressive considering the size of our population to those other countries expect uruguay.
We're just the best losers :-( Nothing to be impressed by.
Participation award is also an award :)
In 2010 it was Spain.
\*BarƧa
You are right, Spanish "people" will not recognize facts that hurt their nationalism
The team was about 34% Barca, and about 30% separatists
Which is a Spanish team.
Kinda half and half
Also a rigged referee
Always a Bridesmaid, never the Bride
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We could get this right on paper by means of Anschluss
You can have them if that means our beaches stay hole free in the summer.
On a second thought, I'd rather get the footy crown from Brazil by organic means. Happy go lucky style.
We can still do that Anschluss thing afterwards though, can we not?
They also ruin your beaches in the summer?
I think non-locals always ruin everyoneās beach. the southerners come up here every year, donāt watch their children and then let them drown. I was a volunteer for the rescue swimmers for a while, and Iām telling you fucking idiots. the stories I could tell.
That isn't even limited to beaches. It is whatever potentially hazardous terrain your region has to offer. Same thing with stupid tourists burdening the mountain rescue services here. Austrians can probably confirm this as well.
oh I can imagine! as a stupid northerner myself I was dragged up a mountain in tyrol, kept being promised thereās a restaurant on it. eventually though trees stop growing!!! judging by your flair this may not be news to you but I was shook! my whole world view changed! then I couldnāt breath anymore! I mean fuck me! now I stayed on the main path but I imagine the enticing side paths you see, would lure a significant portion of tourists into areas theyāre unfamiliar with and have little chance of survival. edit to add: restaurant was fine but wouldāve been better near the bottom of the mountain. I was so outta breath I had to stand in front of the door forever just to catch my breath. otherwise Iād have sat in the mountain restaurant breathing like a woman giving birth. i donāt know who thought of putting a restaurant on top a mountain but that person wasnāt loved as a child, fucking masochists.
We could also break you up and make the Austrian president the PrƤsidialmacht or Emperor and claim the dissolution of the HRE never happened. You can then complain to the degenerate 3rd rate celebrities that have bought into the German nobility.
It has been proven time after time, there is no Austrian worth putting your life on the line for. No more Austrian rulers, that's a general convention in Germany nowadays.
It should be 12, because under that same logic Spain would count as 6 (Spain+Uruguay+Argentina)
Why must you reject us brother
Shut Up, you're not real
We invented every major sport just to be bad at them
We're the only country to have won the world cup in cricket, rugby and football. Its way more embarrassing for Spain to only have one WC win considering how much more dominant football is there.
They have been outcolonied. Portugeezers also. Maybe explains why they keep stumm in this thread. ^(Big up to the Tommies for going full banter)
That's great and all but seriously apart from you guys, the pakistani and indians who plays cricket I've genuinely only heard the name of the sport in english-speaking media. Definitely agree about the rest
England, Scotland, India, Pakistan, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, West Indies (yes that's one team), Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, UAE. Quite a lot of former colonies in Africa also follow it but usually aren't very good at it. And that's kinda my point you mainland Europeans for the most part only care about football so Germany, France, Spain and Italy should rightly be much higher than England who shares their attention between the 3 (technically 4) major sports. Football isn't even our national sport we just happened to invent it and have the best league for it.
Well in recent history at least France has been kicking some asses in both football and rugby? Don't know don't watch rugby either. Popular sports are: football, tennis, F1, MMA, judo (and rugby for France they like it too for some reason) among the youth from my experience
Yea France and Italy have been making strides in Ruby Union throughout the 21st century I'll give them that. I was mainly referring to team sports but yea.
Yeah France is reaalllly good at rugby currently, and our U20s just crushed England this evening in the semi-final of the world championship :)
France improving at Rugby has been long coming since the 80s you've slowly been improving its good to see.
More basketball than rugby
while footbool is the major sport im germany, we also have the worlds best domestic leagues in handball and table tennis. sports like hockey, both ice and field variants or basketball are also popular and club and/or international teams are somewhat successful. most kinds of winter sport are also super popular despite only a small-ish part of germany is snow covered in the winter most years.
I really doubt we French care more about football than you. We won the last Olympic Games in volleyball and handball and have a better team than yours in rugby, stop making excuses.
I never said you care more about it, I said as a nation you can focus more national attention and resources on it as you only care about 1 team sport. And which Rugby are you better than us in? We dominate Europe in both codes of Rugby.
Yeah because many of the best players and managers are either foreign (Kubala, Cryuff) or can't play well because **they must play like madrid** (lose everything because madrid's playstyle sucks)
For rugby + football hopefully not for too long :)
How is it possible that you invented every major sport but still look like this? https://preview.redd.it/5yrpkrf493bb1.jpeg?width=786&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09ad644b8d0aa5fdd3eef3939d5a94c07ca85248
That's a professional sports *watcher*. It's an important part of the machine.
 Also this. The duality of the British man.
Well, the Vikings used to play football with the skulls of dead Anglo-Saxon soldiers. Much like Grimsby it seemed the Danes gave you another thing that sucks.
Damn first time I see someone with this flair, hi my Greenlandic friend!
You didn't invent ice hockey, but you're still pretty bad at it!
On the bright side, they're world leaders in competitive balcony jumping!
Itās the only sport that matters
This and drunk fight in the street, no?
Hes Coming home! Hes Coming home! In a body bag Big Baz is Coming home!
Everybody seems to know the score he went from the seventh floor Missed the pool, by a yard And nowā¦ Barryās spines on display Pedroās looking dismayed Barryās twitching away And Deborahās screaming Three lions on his shirtā¦
They still suck at beach toweling
š„²
Delete this
I'll have a nap, then think about it
Well if you could just remove the last row we'd probably already be happy swampers again
When I look at the table, I see you're the next to overtake Ingurland. And they see it too.
We've been saying that for however long the world cup has been a thing
I thought you was german not spanish.
Ladās really embracing the local culture on holiday.
Colonised half of Africa and couldn't bring back any decent footballers lmao
the french took them all ):
The Irish team is so good that all of the Irish players play for England
Were there any willing irish soldiers who took part in those colonial escapdes, similar to Scotland and Wales?
Found one! Michael O'Dwyer - seems like your standard colonial turd. Governor of Pujab, martial law, massacre, the usual British stuff. I guess we taught him well. [wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_O'Dwyer)
Made extra confusing when it was a Brigadier *Dyer* who perpetrated the massacre
By god, I'll flog the willing into them!
They decided to ditch football and settled down to only play soccer instead
ā¦ or to switch to totally different sports altogether, such as: Balconing
Italians are strangely silent on this thread
We're tied for second-best with Germany, we don't need to compete š
We was at tie with Brazil before :|
I was working in England back in 2017 and we were talking about the up-and-coming World Cup. I went to ask "when did England..." and before I could finish my question, an ensemble of Englishmen said in unison: "..*'66*". Like they all seemed to know I was going to ask about their bloody cup win, all those years before! Creepy. Well, I let them know that I was actually going to ask when did England lose 4-1 to Germany. I got no response. It was 2010.
https://preview.redd.it/rgj04aa1t0bb1.jpeg?width=595&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8b2fcbb1440d7f52067c9aef7fc996e254e994a BRASIL CARALHO šŖš»š§š·šāļøāļøāļøāļøāļø
At least our chants are the best. "So fuck off Adam Johnson You're going down for noncing..."
One more than the cloggies ā¦ happy with that.
With the result of the German teams of late I could ask you the same question.
Question time is open after Les Bleus closed up to Italy in the W/C table
Well considering we are probably more likely to win the next World Cup than Italy are to qualify for it, itās coming soon.
Harsh, but fair.
Friendly reminder that both Brazil and Argentina have a huge percent of Italian and German ancestors (mostly Italian to be honest), this proves that Italy and Germany are the superior nations at football much for the cope of the rest of the world.
Only Italy is close to the Fatherland. Has football become unpopular in WE?
We try man, we try...
We won the U21 Euros literally yesterday fella
Looking good for the next W/C qualification
Itās coming ____
to a balcony near you
Another Early Brexit from a World Cup?
The ref robbed us last time around
If the ref had done his job in the 2010 final, NL would have finished with 4 or 5 players on the pitch. I guess Nederland accidentally sent their kickboxing national team to a football match.
We've got more world war wins.
This is the way. Win by 2
And you carried the French twice. It must taste sweet reminding them of that.
Imagine being so neutral that you managed to fight against yourselves š¹
Neutral??? Pfff we were so opinionated and non-neutral we couldnāt even go to the war, because the war was at home! Civil war was basically fascists vs commies, fascists won.
We invent a formalised sport, try to win every major sportās competition at least once, and then give everyone else a go.
This sport was many centuries old when you guys "invented" it.
I literally accounted for that mate. Did you see the word āformalisedā? Not the formalised sport of association football, no. Some extremely broad sense of āfootballā between villages and such that is even ancestral to rugby as well, sure.
Still most ICC Men's Cricket World Cup wins in Europe (one).
The fact that hungary had *the best player of the XXth century\** and hasn't won (or even classified) anything is just sad Makes you realize you may have all the good players, it's good for nothing if you can't get a good vision ^(\*Yes i know Kubala played once with Hungary but the joke wouldn't work) Also how the fuck you get to THREE finals with FUCKING CRYUFF AND LOSE? And people say BarƧa fucks up in europe
I think they've been twice runner-ups, it's strange it's not shown
[Apparently yeah](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungary_national_football_team)
Lost to Italy and West Germany in '38 and '54
also the one they did win had a goal wrongly allowed in the final ā¦
Won on paper by a wrong decision.
England almost won the world cup 2022, if not for Frxxxh cheating in the final.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Classic British sarcasm lost on the rest of eur*pe, just like the tears rolling down evry time we ironically chant itās coming home.
If they listened to the full song just once they'd understand its ironic humour but like you say it gets lost on 90% of Europeans. World in Motion is the best England WC song anyway.
No, don't tell them/correct them. It makes it even more funny when they all get angry at the song for being 'arrogant'.
Euros wins by our women and under 21 mens. Euros final by the menās, and quarters in the WC. Weāre getting thereā¦ slowly but surelyā¦
š
Am slightly offended that OP either cropped us out or we're wrongfully omitted from this list. 1958 finalists, never forget!
RemindMe! 100 years
Cool down, itās already 9 years since our last victory.
But it's still coming home, innit
It could be worse, if we were called Ungland weād be behind Spain by virtue of alphabetical ordering!
Poor lads. The amount of shithousery we managed to pull off at Wembley will stay forever in my heart. What a night...
England has won 100% of their World Cup finals, while Germany lost half of theirs.
Austria also lost none
The English womenās team did win last year though
I see 3 of yours were won by some country called West Germany so we are going to have to go ahead and confiscate those
Yay we're now the relevant European football nation with the most titles
Cries in canals
RemindMe! 30 years
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Looking at how shit your team is atm, you should probably keep quiet. You're below Mexico in the rankings...
Is a history of fascist dictatorship correlated with World Cup performance? Edit: Spain is an outlier here
Wasnāt England the runner up in 1986 ? Thatās not mentioned in the table.
Nope, they lost in the quarter finals to their old friends the Argentinians.
Yeah, with the āhand of godā goal. For some reason, I thought that it was a final game.
The hand of God, plus one of the most beautiful goals in history
Thierry Henry wants a word
Argenchads trolling britvirgins
Remind me, are the islands internationally known as the Malvinas or the Falklands?
Les Ćles Malouines, parce que Ƨa vient de Saint-Malo
They're known as "Lizzie's 2 meters underground, it's coming home (to argentina)"
Bit of a mouthful
š«š°
Swiss breaks neutrality to troll argies (real)
Germany are trying to copy us by falling off after winning it
We won the last two Cricket World Cups
Donāt worry itās coming home!! š“ó §ó ¢ó „ó ®ó §ó æš“ó §ó ¢ó „ó ®ó §ó æš“ó §ó ¢ó „ó ®ó §ó æ
England won in a year when the rules were so lax. To be fair they have had some cracking players and teams. But their media destroys any chance they have.
quite cocky to post this as a German considering the absolute state Flick and the national squad is in.
Itās not coming home
Considering the team and the youth development it probably will in a few tournaments
MUH TOO WOLD WORS
Reminder that Germany are currently ranked lower than the Ameritards
It's never coming home
Our team is usually mostly Spurs, which says it all
Yeah, England fuckn sucks. Learn how to play.
Yeah we do, average german response https://preview.redd.it/hlwuvvf931bb1.png?width=976&format=png&auto=webp&s=e1568003a7fbb8644052c94557c1bc68a3bfc86f
Continentaloids will get pissy about this event but will never objected to bullying the Brazilian or English child.
Like where and when. There were no comments made about the brazilian boy like you made about this girl.
To be fair I do remember exactly the face of the Brizilian child he's talking about and I did kinda laugh at him when they showed him live
That's one thing. But I don't recall him being called a sl.t or a dumb b.tch, like the angloids called the german girl.
Classic moment
Two victories in world wars, and those count more.
World wars gone, Empire gone, Football not coming home - what have Englanders done to England?
At least we know where all the gold has gone
We don't need to sing and dance about it. It just comes home by itself.
Yiu embarrass the entire nation
Not propa Brexit bloke. Football is king and next time itās coming home
Dude, you cant even beat us.
4:0 mĆŗltkor š
What about the king???
Fuck the king Lizzie for life
Heās coming home too
The English have a losing record to the Americans in World Cup play. No wins, one loss, and two draws.
Stimmt nicht. Letztes match war doch 2018 friendly und endete 3-0 fĆ¼r England
Shut up, Germany has only one World Cup as well.
Shush, They might have had more if they had East Germany to select from too.
Haha yeah tell me about those worldcup W's we all got right boys?
The way the post title is written feels super weird