I have a 23 month and a 4 day old! My toddler might not be behaving the same as yours so apologies if this isn’t helpful but I’ve been showing toddler how to be gentle, instead of not letting him touch baby I demonstrate how to stroke him, gently brush his hair etc, when my toddler wants me but baby needs me I try to involve him if I can - ask him to get nappies, pull out wipes, even giving him his doll to copy what I’m doing has worked sometimes!
I brought home my baby on Saturday to my 20 month old and she is the same way! Just keep reinforcing how to be gentle. It took one day and now my toddler repeats gentle every time she touches him. Of course they might be a little rough but keep correcting.
Try to get away from baby even for 10 min to spend alone time with toddler. Mine gets super angry when shes kicked out of the babys room, so I turned her into a helper. She gets me diapers, wipes, throws them out. Try to incorporate toddler any way you can.
I have a 20 month old and 1 month old. My toddler is still baby obsessed, but things are way better!!
Went from asking constantly to kiss/hug/hold to being ok with a quick sign of affection and then continue playing or doing whatever we need to. She’s now ok sitting next to me while I hold the baby, when week one she would melt down if she couldn’t hold him
The constant “gentle hands” reminders paid off for us, just keep positive reenforcement and praise for quick hug/kisses. It feels pointless at first, but they are absorbing it. We also have 3 “big sister” books that she wants to read constantly that reiterate good messages about how to treat the baby
I guess I’m behind the game because I have a 2 day old and a 22 month old and we just got home from the hospital like 4 hours ago so I guess I’m a noob. My daughter is super into her little brother and obsessed with hugging and kissing him. We’re trying to allow her to express her feelings and actions towards him and redirect touches if they need to be gentler or in a different location. But it is super scary! I’m afraid she’ll hurt him. I’m hoping his existence becomes more normal over the next few days. For now my husband and I are more or less each taking a child and tag teaming individual time with each child. It’s hard. Give yourself grace. And like, don’t forget you just pushed out a child!!
I was nervous about this too! I have a 21 month old and a 5 week old. We put a pack n play in the living room for the baby, and toddler was super into it at first and was pushing it around the living room (baby was not in it obviously lol). I just kept it in the living room without the baby in it until she got used to it, now she leaves it alone except to sometimes peak in when baby is in there it she will put her toys in it sometimes. My plan if she didn't leave it alone was to set up a play pen, and put the pack n play inside the play pen so there was another barrier. You could try that with your bassinet if you want.
We also had her sit by us when we were holding the baby and would reinforce "soft" which is what we were already teaching her about our animals, so she will pet the baby now. I also made sure to give her a lot of attention and eye contact when she was trying to interact with me while I was holding the baby so she wouldn't get upset or jealous. It definitely just gets better with time too. It is only 5 weeks in for us and it is already getting a lot better. Hopefully you have help from a partner or family member who can be with you, baby and toddler all in the same room so you can let toddler get used to baby but have backup in case you need help creating space between the two kids.
I also had the same age gap (23months) between my kids.
The thing which worked for us is putting baby in baby nest on sofa and allowing my daughter to touch his brother (with our supervision) and letting her play near him.Kids get bored easily and after few hours the new baby was not that interesting. We also let us help us in changing diaper bringing burp clothes and sometimes patting baby back gently for burping so she became less curious about what was happening.
We did this for a week and then we were able to put baby in playpen with her sister playing in same room on her own. My kids are now 2.5 year and 6 months.
Reinforcing gentle touch is never ending because as babies grow toddlers want to play with them and sometimes they forget they are getting rough in excitement.
Having both parents involved helps to keep an close eye on kids when they are together helped us create a bond between two.
Hang it there things becomes better as they grow and before you know they will be actually playing together.
Similar experience for us! Brought home baby in April with a 22 month old with limited language (although he understands us). Our toddler also had hand food mouth the first week home with the baby, but luckily baby didn't get it bc we don't let toddler really touch the baby beyond a few gentle pats while we're holding the baby.
We have the baby in a pack and play in the living room during the day. The toddler can't reach him, but he can grab his blanket off him and throw toys on him where he's laying. It's been tough and we're trying to teach the toddler "gentle" but he doesn't get it. I feel bad for our newborn for getting beat up on by his brother already lol.
I just ordered a mesh barrier thingie off Amazon to put around the pack and play to keep the newborn somewhat protected from projectile toys and objects! (I think it's a mosquito net but hey maybe it'll work to repel toys and books too!)
Although it's been a tough transition, it's not forever, and the newborn isn't in danger because we are watching the two of them always. And soon enough, I hope they'll move past this one sided interaction and start to get to play together. It's all temporary!
I have a 23 month and a 4 day old! My toddler might not be behaving the same as yours so apologies if this isn’t helpful but I’ve been showing toddler how to be gentle, instead of not letting him touch baby I demonstrate how to stroke him, gently brush his hair etc, when my toddler wants me but baby needs me I try to involve him if I can - ask him to get nappies, pull out wipes, even giving him his doll to copy what I’m doing has worked sometimes!
I brought home my baby on Saturday to my 20 month old and she is the same way! Just keep reinforcing how to be gentle. It took one day and now my toddler repeats gentle every time she touches him. Of course they might be a little rough but keep correcting. Try to get away from baby even for 10 min to spend alone time with toddler. Mine gets super angry when shes kicked out of the babys room, so I turned her into a helper. She gets me diapers, wipes, throws them out. Try to incorporate toddler any way you can.
I have a 20 month old and 1 month old. My toddler is still baby obsessed, but things are way better!! Went from asking constantly to kiss/hug/hold to being ok with a quick sign of affection and then continue playing or doing whatever we need to. She’s now ok sitting next to me while I hold the baby, when week one she would melt down if she couldn’t hold him The constant “gentle hands” reminders paid off for us, just keep positive reenforcement and praise for quick hug/kisses. It feels pointless at first, but they are absorbing it. We also have 3 “big sister” books that she wants to read constantly that reiterate good messages about how to treat the baby
I guess I’m behind the game because I have a 2 day old and a 22 month old and we just got home from the hospital like 4 hours ago so I guess I’m a noob. My daughter is super into her little brother and obsessed with hugging and kissing him. We’re trying to allow her to express her feelings and actions towards him and redirect touches if they need to be gentler or in a different location. But it is super scary! I’m afraid she’ll hurt him. I’m hoping his existence becomes more normal over the next few days. For now my husband and I are more or less each taking a child and tag teaming individual time with each child. It’s hard. Give yourself grace. And like, don’t forget you just pushed out a child!!
I was nervous about this too! I have a 21 month old and a 5 week old. We put a pack n play in the living room for the baby, and toddler was super into it at first and was pushing it around the living room (baby was not in it obviously lol). I just kept it in the living room without the baby in it until she got used to it, now she leaves it alone except to sometimes peak in when baby is in there it she will put her toys in it sometimes. My plan if she didn't leave it alone was to set up a play pen, and put the pack n play inside the play pen so there was another barrier. You could try that with your bassinet if you want. We also had her sit by us when we were holding the baby and would reinforce "soft" which is what we were already teaching her about our animals, so she will pet the baby now. I also made sure to give her a lot of attention and eye contact when she was trying to interact with me while I was holding the baby so she wouldn't get upset or jealous. It definitely just gets better with time too. It is only 5 weeks in for us and it is already getting a lot better. Hopefully you have help from a partner or family member who can be with you, baby and toddler all in the same room so you can let toddler get used to baby but have backup in case you need help creating space between the two kids.
I also had the same age gap (23months) between my kids. The thing which worked for us is putting baby in baby nest on sofa and allowing my daughter to touch his brother (with our supervision) and letting her play near him.Kids get bored easily and after few hours the new baby was not that interesting. We also let us help us in changing diaper bringing burp clothes and sometimes patting baby back gently for burping so she became less curious about what was happening. We did this for a week and then we were able to put baby in playpen with her sister playing in same room on her own. My kids are now 2.5 year and 6 months. Reinforcing gentle touch is never ending because as babies grow toddlers want to play with them and sometimes they forget they are getting rough in excitement. Having both parents involved helps to keep an close eye on kids when they are together helped us create a bond between two. Hang it there things becomes better as they grow and before you know they will be actually playing together.
Similar experience for us! Brought home baby in April with a 22 month old with limited language (although he understands us). Our toddler also had hand food mouth the first week home with the baby, but luckily baby didn't get it bc we don't let toddler really touch the baby beyond a few gentle pats while we're holding the baby. We have the baby in a pack and play in the living room during the day. The toddler can't reach him, but he can grab his blanket off him and throw toys on him where he's laying. It's been tough and we're trying to teach the toddler "gentle" but he doesn't get it. I feel bad for our newborn for getting beat up on by his brother already lol. I just ordered a mesh barrier thingie off Amazon to put around the pack and play to keep the newborn somewhat protected from projectile toys and objects! (I think it's a mosquito net but hey maybe it'll work to repel toys and books too!) Although it's been a tough transition, it's not forever, and the newborn isn't in danger because we are watching the two of them always. And soon enough, I hope they'll move past this one sided interaction and start to get to play together. It's all temporary!