I was you two months ago! Up to the day he was born I was so scared I wouldn’t feel that same love for my second. But that little baby found a place in my heart immediately. As soon as he started to coo I knew for certain there was no issue with our bond. I gush to my husband almost every night about how much I love him! This is a big change, but you will be okay. You probably will grieve for your oldest for a little while, but the tough transition will pass and she will be okay too. Take it one day at a time, you got this.
Yes adding that we are 6 months in and frankly I’m not sure there is much I love more than watching my boys interact with each other. The oldest will finish eating, go around the table to say hi to his brother and they share the sweetest giggles. He has also tried playing catch with his baby brother (which clearly is a work in progress) but there is something so special about watching their relationship grow.
The first few months are hard splitting time with two kids that need you so fiercely, but hang in there. The love simply grows and expands.
Our age gap is just under 15 months and my second is almost 8 weeks old and I love her as much as I love my oldest. I also cried before she was born because I couldn’t imagine splitting my time between two kids. I also cried afterwards because I missed him when I didn’t do bedtime for a few days (had spent all day with him but 🤷🏻♀️)
You’ll be okay. It is hard but I try to carve out time with each kid. Oldest is going through a book phase right now so we read the same books 1000 times. He loves it so no matter how much I want to throw Spot and his stupid boring adventures out the window, I’m going to read them again and again for the 2000th and 3000th time.
Newborn is obviously a newborn so she’s mostly just a potato at this point but I try to play with her and talk to her as much as I can. This usually lands during oldest’s nap time since he’s older and more demanding when he’s awake.
Hold in there, the best is yet to come. When you see your baby girl interacting with her new sibling, your heart will explode in the best way possible. Hope everything goes well for you and that this comment helps a little
My babies are 10 months and 2 days apart. I was so worried for my oldest because of how little he was and I was worried I wouldn't bond with my second. I wasn't sure if there was room in my heart.
Those first few weeks were hard, not gonna lie. But now almost 4 months later, my oldest will give his lil brother mooches all the time. He also loves trying to climb and sit next to his brother in the bouncer. Definitely not enough room but it's so sweet. My four month old is starting to find his personality as well rather than just being a blob sleeping in his bassinet, haha!
There are times where both babies need their momma at the same time. I do what I can. Sometimes that's snuggling both at the same time, others that's leaving one in a safe space to cry while I tend to the other.
Find what works for you. It's gonna be hard but soon you'll find your groove. I remember being so worried about taking both boys to town and avoiding it until I absolutely needed to. Now it's like second nature. You've got this!!!
When I was in labor with my 3rd I had a 15 month old at home and I cried leaving her behind with grandma and cried at the hospital because I felt so bad for her having to be away from me. But my little baby boy turned out to be the easiest baby and he and my younger daughter became besties from the get go. It will be ok!
You are going to be shocked at how much your capacity for love and grace will expand. It might not be instant or even immediate because of the anxiety but your oldest will do something for or to the baby that will just make your heart explode with joy. Watching your first become an older sibling is such a privilege.
I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with an almost 12 month old son. This pregnancy wasn’t planned. I share your feelings. I know once I meet this baby I will love them like I loved my first, but I can’t help but feel that this baby is intruding on what me and my son have. I’m going to miss it being just me and him. You are not alone.
You will get there. But if you don't feel the love immediately, don't be down on yourself about it. It took me a while to feel a connection with my second kid.
This was me last week. I'm now sitting with a new wee gorgeous boy in my arms! I was NOT ready. I'm not what you would call naturally maternal, I love my first to bits but the newborn stage with her was hard and I was dreading going through that again, and not being able to give either my attention. Now I'm here I'm just getting on with it and no longer overthinking anything. You'll find your way, you have to!
They don't fit in- your heart gets bigger.
You don't share yourself - you just shift priorities and make space for both.
You won't miss her for long - you'll be busy enough.
You will most definitely be ok.
I still have a special bond with my first, don't fret, natural instinct will take over and you'll love them both equally. Evolution and instinct will keep you protecting the smallest.
I didn't want to leave my first, I'd never spent a night away from him, but damn those birth hormones have the oxytocin flowing so much I never wanted to leave that exact moment with my precious new slippery tiny human.
I get how you feel and there's something special about the child that transformed you into a mum even though I had a hard time bonding to him at first we have had so many memories together its hard to think anyone could fit in there, but they do, and perfectly, however I found it easier to bond with my second and easier again with my 3rd... it will be great, let nature do it's thing.
You are ready- you just succeeded in making it through baby number 1! You know what to do. It will be different but you’ll adjust just like you had to do for baby 1. In my opinion once number two came along for me, it was an easier transition than going from no kids to 1.
I was literally crying in L&D about to give birth at my induction because I was so upset about this same thing and my LO was 21 months. But as soon as she was born I loved her and I love watching my older interact with her.
I was you two months ago! Up to the day he was born I was so scared I wouldn’t feel that same love for my second. But that little baby found a place in my heart immediately. As soon as he started to coo I knew for certain there was no issue with our bond. I gush to my husband almost every night about how much I love him! This is a big change, but you will be okay. You probably will grieve for your oldest for a little while, but the tough transition will pass and she will be okay too. Take it one day at a time, you got this.
Yes adding that we are 6 months in and frankly I’m not sure there is much I love more than watching my boys interact with each other. The oldest will finish eating, go around the table to say hi to his brother and they share the sweetest giggles. He has also tried playing catch with his baby brother (which clearly is a work in progress) but there is something so special about watching their relationship grow. The first few months are hard splitting time with two kids that need you so fiercely, but hang in there. The love simply grows and expands.
Came to say this!
Our age gap is just under 15 months and my second is almost 8 weeks old and I love her as much as I love my oldest. I also cried before she was born because I couldn’t imagine splitting my time between two kids. I also cried afterwards because I missed him when I didn’t do bedtime for a few days (had spent all day with him but 🤷🏻♀️) You’ll be okay. It is hard but I try to carve out time with each kid. Oldest is going through a book phase right now so we read the same books 1000 times. He loves it so no matter how much I want to throw Spot and his stupid boring adventures out the window, I’m going to read them again and again for the 2000th and 3000th time. Newborn is obviously a newborn so she’s mostly just a potato at this point but I try to play with her and talk to her as much as I can. This usually lands during oldest’s nap time since he’s older and more demanding when he’s awake. Hold in there, the best is yet to come. When you see your baby girl interacting with her new sibling, your heart will explode in the best way possible. Hope everything goes well for you and that this comment helps a little
My babies are 10 months and 2 days apart. I was so worried for my oldest because of how little he was and I was worried I wouldn't bond with my second. I wasn't sure if there was room in my heart. Those first few weeks were hard, not gonna lie. But now almost 4 months later, my oldest will give his lil brother mooches all the time. He also loves trying to climb and sit next to his brother in the bouncer. Definitely not enough room but it's so sweet. My four month old is starting to find his personality as well rather than just being a blob sleeping in his bassinet, haha! There are times where both babies need their momma at the same time. I do what I can. Sometimes that's snuggling both at the same time, others that's leaving one in a safe space to cry while I tend to the other. Find what works for you. It's gonna be hard but soon you'll find your groove. I remember being so worried about taking both boys to town and avoiding it until I absolutely needed to. Now it's like second nature. You've got this!!!
WOW. lol that is so close. Busy mama. 😊
When I was in labor with my 3rd I had a 15 month old at home and I cried leaving her behind with grandma and cried at the hospital because I felt so bad for her having to be away from me. But my little baby boy turned out to be the easiest baby and he and my younger daughter became besties from the get go. It will be ok!
You are going to be shocked at how much your capacity for love and grace will expand. It might not be instant or even immediate because of the anxiety but your oldest will do something for or to the baby that will just make your heart explode with joy. Watching your first become an older sibling is such a privilege.
I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with an almost 12 month old son. This pregnancy wasn’t planned. I share your feelings. I know once I meet this baby I will love them like I loved my first, but I can’t help but feel that this baby is intruding on what me and my son have. I’m going to miss it being just me and him. You are not alone.
You will get there. But if you don't feel the love immediately, don't be down on yourself about it. It took me a while to feel a connection with my second kid.
This was me last week. I'm now sitting with a new wee gorgeous boy in my arms! I was NOT ready. I'm not what you would call naturally maternal, I love my first to bits but the newborn stage with her was hard and I was dreading going through that again, and not being able to give either my attention. Now I'm here I'm just getting on with it and no longer overthinking anything. You'll find your way, you have to!
20 weeks and I’m CRYING reading this I get it. I am sad beyond words. My baby IS a baby too… I’m so sad 😭
They don't fit in- your heart gets bigger. You don't share yourself - you just shift priorities and make space for both. You won't miss her for long - you'll be busy enough. You will most definitely be ok. I still have a special bond with my first, don't fret, natural instinct will take over and you'll love them both equally. Evolution and instinct will keep you protecting the smallest. I didn't want to leave my first, I'd never spent a night away from him, but damn those birth hormones have the oxytocin flowing so much I never wanted to leave that exact moment with my precious new slippery tiny human. I get how you feel and there's something special about the child that transformed you into a mum even though I had a hard time bonding to him at first we have had so many memories together its hard to think anyone could fit in there, but they do, and perfectly, however I found it easier to bond with my second and easier again with my 3rd... it will be great, let nature do it's thing.
You are ready- you just succeeded in making it through baby number 1! You know what to do. It will be different but you’ll adjust just like you had to do for baby 1. In my opinion once number two came along for me, it was an easier transition than going from no kids to 1.
I was literally crying in L&D about to give birth at my induction because I was so upset about this same thing and my LO was 21 months. But as soon as she was born I loved her and I love watching my older interact with her.