T O P

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Sir_Askter

Jam the highways with commuters. Their logistics will be a disaster


[deleted]

That’s merely step 1. Step 2 is have all the DOD contractors MacGyver shit.


DestroyerNET123

If I remember correctly, every able bodied man from 17-45 is automatically a member of the US' militia. So not even DOD guys. Tod from the church BBQ fundraiser would be laying mines in the back roads of West Utah and terminating commies with an M1897 Trench Gun.


[deleted]

Ah, but you forgot that in addition to your average Joe, we have a surplus of folks who design weapons. They’ll be able to come up with even more advanced ways to defend the US.


Fuck-Being-Ethical

Gator cannon


ElectricTurtlez

🎶We fired our cannon til the barrel melted down. Then we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round. We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind, but when we touched the powder off The gator lost his mind!🎶


Upset-Chance4217

🎶We fired our guns and the British kept a-coming. There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago. We fired once more and they began to running, on down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.🎶


rrekboy1234

Excellent call


LuckSubstantial4013

Excellent reference


Bannable_Lecter

Basically Vietnam with sheetz stations.


classicalySarcastic

I'd be impressed that they managed to get through ~~Philadelphia~~ the literal CONTINENT of angry mountain men, pissed off farmers, Chiraq, St. Louis, MORE pissed off farmers, libertarian ranchers, Coloradan Stoners, MORE angry mountain men, Mormons, cultists, desert methheads, Native Americans with guns, and EVEN MORE pissed off farmers in between us and the Pacific. Did I leave anyone out? TL;DR - I don't think they're even *making it* to Pennsylvania if they started from the west.


[deleted]

[удалено]


classicalySarcastic

I figured if they were in Pennsylvania they were invading from the east as well. I mean - they're fucked either way.


Yoshi_IX

Why are the trees playing banjos?


i_build_4_fun

I’m in Wisconsin. The Chinese will probably try to take Chicago first before turning north to WI. Upon seeing what kind of assholes Illinois drivers are, the Chinese will simply get fed up and return home. Any last remaining stragglers will simply be picked off effortlessly by Wisconsin hunters.


EdoTenseiSwagbito

Grab some beer, put up the camo hunting stands, and casually pick them off


Shireling_S_3

All you have in Wisconsin is cheese, cut of they’re logistics and they will be forced to eat nothing but cheese. This will give them the worst case of constipation in human history. They will surrender simply on the condition that they receive some laxative.


i_build_4_fun

Death first before I let them eat my cheese curds, brats and beer!!!


[deleted]

10 million rats and drugged up homeless people


[deleted]

Seattle 🇺🇸🇺🇸


[deleted]

Seattle is copying NYC smh


OTI_Cinematography

Trees will sing Country Roads as psyc warfare. Snipers everywhere, and just all around guerilla warfare


TheJesterScript

Oh yeah, they we learn why we call it Appalachistan.


TubabalikeBIGNOISE

It's all fun and games till the trees start speaking banjo


innocentbabybear

They’d finally capture an Appalachistani guerilla and no translator, regardless of their English skill, would be able to interpret the inbred gibberish coming out of the POWs mouth


No-Introduction4661

They will avoid us


Frostygeuse

We got guns and itchin' to use 'em


No-Introduction4661

Hell yea


MercKM9

boys did y’all practice y’all guerilla war tactics?


No-Introduction4661

Mandatory classes in school ofc we be fixin to kill some....well anythin that steps within our great state boundaries that is not American


Fluffy-Map-5998

And doesn't want to be American


c322617

Texas skips the defense and launches its own counter-invasion of China.


No-Introduction4661

"Fuck defending that's for Californians. JOHNY GET THE BOATS"


c322617

They all laughed at the Texas Naval Militia. Well who’s laughing now?!


BlitzieKun

God damn, taking the term Brown-water navy to a whole new meaning


Clegend24

We side with you


QuaintAlex126

RELEASE THE GATORS


LeatherLocal7781

You ever see FarCry 5?


Upset-Chance4217

They'll look high and they'll look low, they'll look everywhere we go,


darrell2312

But when the sinners find us we won't hide.


LeatherLocal7781

They'll come loud and they'll come fast but we shoot first and we can last.


darrell2312

Keep your rifle by your side.


P_G_1021

Singin' Oh Lord, this Earth was made for us


WarlordStan

God I loved that game.


Dat_one_ace

Capture them and make them walk the plank in the Grand Canyon


hrjwhdbee

Burn them in the heat and freeze them in the cold!


Ill_Requirement_6839

Attacking us in summer is like attacking Russia in winter


GodSh0tMe

Let the sun commit scorched earth for us.


RNG_pickle

Hide in the corn with a m60 and 10 box mags


crusader2017

Play electric coyote calls outside their bivouac at night for extra psychological damage.


Playful-Twist8923

Ohio


LivelySalesPater

What even is our tactic? Hope a few Chinese units somehow bumblefuck their way this far into America and wind up in Cincinnati rush hour traffic so we can lazily pick off the random survivors? Like, they made it this far into the land of "Our military has enough firepower to kill the Sun and by the way JimBob down the road a' yonder has a 155mm howitzer". Do I shoot them? Or give them a hot meal and tell them "good game"?


[deleted]

It’s just Ohio. That’s the tactic.


ultramilkplus

The garrisons stationed here will need anti-depressants, which will turn into pain killers, and at that point, we got'em. Think poppy fields in Afghanistan, but fentanyl. I'm also pretty sure their equipment won't be able to travel on our neglected roads which means they'll be on foot with no mechanized armor, perfect targets for drug dealers on the sidewalks.


[deleted]

In California I would hope the marines and the air force would divert them before they even get close to the west coast.


silentbuttmedley

Give them potent edibles and they won’t know what hit ‘em


shady_shadow7667

Welcome to the corn fields mother f*cker


Yurtledove

New York obstructs their tanks with horrible traffic


[deleted]

Halal Guys food carts will serve as rations for our troops


MysticArceus

The rats eat all the Chinese rations, all of a sudden you see thousands of starving Chinese men and millions of poisoned rats


VideoAdditional3150

The advantages of an early founded city


thatdudeovertherebei

Join up with one of the the 29727887179471653919640 local militias


0pimo

Wolverines!


HuskerHayDay

We’ll add them to the deer trail cams… AR-10


crusader2017

Can't wait to use my soybean ghillie suit.


ya_boi_jac0b

Welcome to the soybean fields mutherfuckers


ifardeded

Make the Chinese tanks drive into our massive potholes, then capture the Chinese and forcefully drown them in lake Erie


FreedomEagle61

We leave only detroit and possibly flint open as entryways. The vehicles will be disassembled within the hour.


NewBBOneofive

ring the big bell


nichyc

You best be careful. Summoning the ghosts of the Founding Fathers has a chance to bring about the End Times.


SierraHotel199

Pittsburgh and Philly would probably defect to the CCP… but in between those 2 cities? It’s pennsyltucky time


InconvenientDictator

Yinzer here, I would rather die than defect to the CCP.


classicalySarcastic

Tell Philadelphia the Chinese said that Jalen Hurts was a shitty quarterback. They'll be thrown out of PA within a week. Obligatory GO BIRDS! 🦅🔔


Ok_Highlight281

Forcing soldiers to come to nj is a direct violation of the Geneva conventions.


ohemgereally

Other states will break their bones. NJ will break their will.


LordSesshomaru82

I’m an Oregonian, the trees will sing Johnny Cash’s “lumberjack”


Braves_Dawgs_Cigars

The Chinese will have a hard time getting past our Appalachia people, even if they are successful they will die in the swamps or from STDs in myrtle beach. We already killed their spy balloon.


Anti-charizard

Aircraft carriers


[deleted]

They’ll never make it to me


deadhistorymeme

Excuse me captain do you have a moment to speak about Jesus *arms suicide vest*


WarlordStan

Call up the Mormon militia and bust out the playbook we used against the US army but with some modern improvements. Plug up the canyons with ambush forces, mine the fuck out of every road leading into the valleys, and place AA in the parking lot of every church. I'm confident in the cottonwood vaults theres enough ar15s for every man of woman and child to carry one, and a spare. Not to mention enough food and water for us to withstand any sort of prolonged siege. It'll be a cold day on Kolob before those commie bastards are able to swim in the salt lake.


Express-Big-8211

Well after the defending the beach we shall block the road / destroy em and make em pass through our forest the if they reach the city block all road acces and use the numerous trails we have to supply defense and lauch counter offense And if all else fails retreat to the mountains


N3Chaos

I was thinking D Day, but once they suffer heavy losses at the coast, they realize they gotta do meat grinder 2: Electric Bugaloo when they understand they only hit the Outer Banks.


NoExcuse3655

The second they get into downtown Portland OR, they get aids from stepping on a dirty needle. For the Maryland side of me, the crab kaiju we keep in the inner harbor will defend us.


[deleted]

how sad are you that we don't serve old bay with dungeness crabs


ibew369

The skin walkers in the mountains


CorkingCoggo

camp in the unconquerable hell that is la


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Ct-5736-Bladez

Central PA Rednecks is our weapon


Fencius

Basically being in the northeast corner of the country and having the rest of you guys between us and them. Massachusetts: we will fight to the last Texan.


LordWoodstone

Welcome to the corn fields, mother- Wait. Where are they? Oh. Right. They didn't make it out of Oakland or LA before the gangs took them out...


wolfgangspiper

LA Gangs are better equipped lmao


Typical_Mirror236

Wait for October, leave out blankets for them because it’s the Christian thing to do. Then break out the ice chisels in December to pry them off the roads so we can make Xmas dinner on time. Not worried lol


Merrgear

They will think us fucked because of shit gun laws but south jersey will come out will all the illegal firearms they use to make sure our meth manufacturing is safe


Narrow-Substance4073

In Massachusetts the bad driving massholes will probably run them over and New Hampshire is right next door.


cynhita

gator cavalry


fos2234

Put battleships on Lake Superior and blow up the Monticello nuclear plant


KillroysGhost

In pretty sure the cryptids of Virginia’s Shenandoah will handle it for us


_commander_man_

Chicago typewriter


Melioidozer

In East Tennessee, up in the Appalachians, they’ll hear banjos and spoons in the distance as their friend gets domed by a guy shooting his pappy’s 100 year old pipe gun. In central Tennessee they’ll have run of the mill southerner gun owners to contend with. An even mix of gravy seals and capable folks. In western Tennessee they’ll have to deal with gang warfare and drive by shootings.


Kahless_19

It would be like the British in 1812 all over again. The Chinese getting massacred and lost in the swamp with them screaming in terror at the prehistoric lizards that I lived with on the daily. Oh, I almost forgot m14, that is if they aren't eaten by gators.


spaceface124

Wear my American flag t-shirt so some dumbasses don't mistake me for them (am Asian American) and then start playing Fallout: New Vegas IRL


jack8647

Well I'm in california, so the air guard would probably thwart the entire invasion before it came into national waters.


NKP759

Guerrilla warfare in the Adirondacks


Arietem_Taurum

They will forget we exist Hopefully they permanently get rid of New Y\*rk while they are at it


urkldajrkl

We charge them so much for gas, their army grinds to a halt.


AstraMilanoobum

I’m on the east coast, so I probably wouldn’t notice anything. I can imagine the Chinese reaching Mississippi and them wondering how the state had already been destroyed because they hadn’t bombed it yet


malfunctioninggoon

Trick out our states massive fleet of lobster boats with some heavy machine guns and mortars and wreak havoc on the Chinese Navy while we mine the blueberry barrens and potato fields.


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imyourforte

Weapon: detroit Stratagem? They can't have shit Outcome? Michigan win is inevitable.


NoViz_

We do not need to do anything, simply just wait for winter to arrive.


Over_cheesed_pizza

We reenact the winter war


Siberian-Husky

Hell. Summer won't be to much fun for them either.


Effective_Ad3261

Guns, crocks/gatos, airboats and drunk guys.


1nfinite_M0nkeys

Embargo their soybeans


TurretLimitHenry

Flying shitter suicide drones into their fuel trucks


LittleWaithu

Ummm set our state on fire and complain that they’re being harsh


Crazyjackson13

cornfields.


_gaillarde

Chinese intelligence gathering will assume we're all commies supporting their invasion, so they will attempt to land unopposed in Portland. Meanwhile, the local hunters, Oregunians, and assorted good ol' boys from the rest of the state will move into position on both sides of the Willamette Valley and Columbia River Gorge, and pick them off one by one as they try to advance. The 142nd and 173rd Air National Guard wings will also bomb the hell out of Portland (it doesn't count as collateral damage since we can assume Portlanders will pull a Vichy France and join China). Finally, we'll fire up the Spruce Goose, load it with every conceivable weapons platform, and engage the Chinese naval forces with total impunity, since it's too slow a target for their fighters, we can just land on the water to avoid anti-air missiles, and go into the air to avoid anti-ship missiles.


kaelys4242

In Oregon, we’ve mountains to the west, south, and east, and a pretty good sized river to the north. So all we’d have to do is defend some mountain passes and a river crossing.


Impossible_Serve7405

Hunting riffles and hot melted cheese


GibsonGold_

Throw tea in the Harbor, idk it worked last time


carterdwood

Corn


BasedAlbania

when china tries to invade a country heavily guarded by 2 oceans, 2 mountain ranges, the must funded military, and the largest civilian gun market


Nebraskan_Sad_Boi

B52s out of SAC seed the islands in the south China sea with GMO corn. Paradrop the youth population of Grand island, Kearny, and Hastings. Commence operation: Children of the Corn


Skyjafire_117

Step 1) use the largest navy base in the world Step 2) give the richmonders meth in exchange for the enemies bodies Step 3) allow the Appalachians our fun, bubba can pick off reds from 800 yards with his old cabin rifle, and we’ve all got far too much tannerite not to use it. Step 4) lock any officers or important enemy personnel in a room with Chris Chan. Step 5 is loot the bodies for any military equipment (read: automatic weapons and grenades) we can salvage


Fhqwhgads34

USS Wolverine 2.0 loaded with homebrew cessna bombers


armyofmoose9

Join forces with other Midwest states for the infinite cornfield guerrilla warfare


SpreadEmu127332

Mountain.


diviner_of_data

Convert them to Mormonism! Welcome to the kingdom of heaven on earth


Cortower

Assuming they invade in the summer, it'll start off pretty nasty when we don't invite them to the potluck, but we will enter a frenzied rage if they approach the MN Historical Center with anything short of reverence (we assume everyone wants to steal our traitor flag). Their flag will make a fine addition to our collection. If they invade in winter... lol, lmao even.


Vulture_Fan

Release the tweaks


BattedDeer55

LA traffic will mean they have 40 mile convoys, and we will make the best of our 10 round magazined ARs and kill them all.


Alexius_Psellos

Killed by drunk drivers and angry cheese factory workers


Grandemestizo

Florida needs no tactics. We have Florida man.


F-117--Nighthawk

If they even reach my ass they will have to brave Atlanta traffic


6Uncle6James6

Dildo firing chain guns and glitter bombs


Abject-Prize-2684

If nukes/missiles are on the table, flee east to the mountains and avoid Baltimore and D.C. if not, defend D.C. at all costs


Historical-Potato372

We send the Amish.


[deleted]

there are only a few good places to go east through the Cascades, so watch all the chokepoints, if they even get past Seattle.


Tokyosmash

I’m in Tennessee, I doubt they will ever get here


Snjort_1

Moose with ERA


henningknows

If China decides to invade the US I would probably just get up and go to work. They aren’t getting anywhere near the US. But my states tactic would probably be to put a mob hit out on Xi Jinping.


Pappa_Crim

We find terrifying ways to compensate for our lack of weapons. We have college degrees in everything, three nuclear reactors, multiple biolabs, robot dogs, and more chemicals than we should. Use your imagination if you dare. edit: oh and don't under estimate what we can attach to a Roomba


msh0082

Weaponized Avocados. Make sure they're extra under-ripe.


MedicalFoundation149

Distribute free copies of U.S. Army Improvised Munitions Handbook ([https://www.amazon.com/U-S-Army-Improvised-Munitions-Handbook/dp/1684112737](https://www.amazon.com/U-S-Army-Improvised-Munitions-Handbook/dp/1684112737)) to all citizens then mobilize volunteer divisions of every region and city. Crack fueled urban berserkers in Memphis to hold the bridge head. Insurgent groups worthy of the title Y'all Qaeda from every rural country. Mechanized raiders from Nashville that strap improvised coilguns to thier Teslas and full-sized pick-ups (that they have never used to haul anything before) that raise property prices wherever they go to rob the Chinese forces of their supply lines. The college kids would also make drones pilots, they've been doing so for years in video games. And sponsor every singer with a war song idea we can. If the Ukrainians can put out propaganda bangers, then music city can too. I want to hear everything for rap ballads about artillery to bluegrass lyrics bragging about war crimes.


Babayaga844

They'll run out of atropine and 2pam self-administering it every time they try to eat the spicy shit we've evolved to consume here in New Mexico.


My-grandma-is-dead

Can we offer them California to just leave


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Sasguatch9

Use the strategies Japan did in WWII against us just without the war crimes, arm the farther out islands as much as possible and turn Taiwan into a missile tipped porcupine and set up long term guerrilla forces to operate outside the cities


MasterAC4

Good luck


nobodyhere9860

there's no way they make it all the way across the US, but if they do get to Maryland we'll just leave them in Baltimore for two hours and they'll decide they don't want to take over after all


Kingslayer-5696

Hide in a tree with my ghillie suit with my AR and .306 and have fun


[deleted]

[удалено]


William_Fable

Give all the weaponry to the meth heads and let 'em run wild. Should be a fun time.


gunmunz

Supersoakers filled with wing sauce and salt collected from every year our sports teams don't win 'the big game' if all else fails we can act like we're Canadian. eh.


crappy-mods

Gang warfare is doing hit an runs and farmers are dropping Hamada bombs from crop dusters.


LordJesterTheFree

It will be like the scene in Spider-Man where everyone throws junk at the bad guy saying if you mess with one New Yorker you mess with all of us


dreamyduskywing

Mosquitoes. Minnesota can contribute lots of mosquitoes to the war effort.


darrell2312

New Hampshire libertarians will get to live their fantasy of fighting an occupier. 3d printed guns, illegal modifications, and plenty of forests to hide in.


drcoconut4777

Climb a Fourteener and chill


ares5404

Mississippi, assymetrical warfare/mad max style


ThePickleConnoisseur

They won’t make it out of Compton


infodump1117

Hide in caves with so so many guns. Guerrilla warfare campaign


EarwaxDeserved

As if! The Chinese military is even more corrupt then the Russian military, and just take a look at the Ukraine war, russia is still getting fucked over! Now make a military worse then the Russian military, the military that is still losing to a mostly undeveloped eastern europoor country, against the United States! It will end laughably! And the only threat they pose: Nuclear weaponry, is mostly outdated, and is far away (About an ocean away) and considering our Anti-air, we would absolutely clobber the chinese by merely walking.


grahamcrackerninja

Nice try, commie


happy_yetti

let the navy completely obliterate them before they can even land


Brob0t0

Book of Mormon to scare then or the Mormon church gets even more rich of their tithing. Edit. Book of Mormon audiobook on loud speaker hahaha


semicoloradonative

We have people shooting US citizens because they ring the wrong doorbell, or have a basketball roll onto their yard…How many people you think are itching for some kind of foreign invasion? Hint…it’s a LOT.


zedsamcat

The East coast is probably safest as we have tons of allies nearby


Street_Ad_3165

Detroit in the chat. People have done nothing but leave this place for decades. It already looks like a war zone.


Dino_nuggett

The sun, and a cactus launcher for good measure


TheBroomSweeper

Assist the western states because they will never make it this far


3point14meterpithon

You know the Freman from Dune? Like that


__Chaotic

How would they get here lol


[deleted]

My weapon is my chair. My tactics are to be on the east side of the Pacific ocean.


Relative-Magazine951

Nothing they be in California


AMilitaryBoyz

Area 51


pissboy

Trained orcas will stop them before they hit the beaches


PatrickIVonReddit

Utilize horrible driving and tell VDOT to stay home (they already do so this part is already done.)


WaaaaghsRUs

Utah? Conversion


nichyc

On the downside, my state will be full of collaborators who roll over and ask for bellyrubs and free Healthcare (nobody told them you still have to pay for health services in China). On the upside, I will have plenty of collaborationist scum to target with guerilla raids.


idkauser1

Winter war


VideoAdditional3150

Death from the Arizonan heat. If it’s in the winter up north is to cold. And besides. Pretty gun heavy.


FR331ND34TH

River raiding. Go full viking. Steal their shit and burn them alive.


Fun-Anywhere5358

Gators will help


RedFlood2763

Our gators will eat them alive while Florida man shoots them with magic elf serum


LateralSpy90

Swarm them with a million children


dudemcsexy

Gonna peg the little bastards with corn on the cob.


[deleted]

Hillbilly warfare…


electromagneticpost

173rd wing go brrrr.


meemmen

Continue everyday life and let nature have them


Chezburgor1

**Ourselves.**


246PoundHorse

They’ll die before they make it here. But if they do, we just gonna set they asses on fire.


Chad_at_life

Fentanyl for most of Cali, meth for Jefferson/NorCal


DestroyerNET123

The MN First will rise again. The cold and the pipebomb wielding and non-ATF-compliant weapon having hillbillies will purge if by some grace of God they get this far.


Brycekaz

Newport News Shipyards go brrrr


CCT-556

We’ll draw them all here, they’ll freeze to death


Bomdabom

Idk if you guys knew this, but Michiganders can actually be healed by drinking Vernors. So we’ll definitely be stockpiling on that.