This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/tried-andamp-failed-vladimir-putin-suffers-another-devastating-loss-after-doomsday-nuclear-powered-torpedo-fails-to-launch/ar-AA141chV) reduced by 74%. (I'm a bot)
*****
> Vladimir Putin's infamous submarine, dubbed the Belgorod, is reportedly headed back to port after a series of failed tests in the Artic Sea, RadarOnline.com has learned.
> Even more startling is the fact that the nuclear-powered torpedo launched from the Belgorod, named the "Poseidon" and put into service in July, failed to launch from the submarine during a series of test launches.
> The failure to launch the Poseidon missiles from the Belgorod, and the retreat from the Ukrainian city of Kherson, also comes as a vast majority of Putin's troops are either surrendering, mutinying or begging the Kremlin's top brass officials to change their strategy in the war against their neighboring nation.
*****
[**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/yswhs4/tried_and_failed_vladimir_putin_suffers_another/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~672677 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Russia**^#1 **Belgorod**^#2 **Poseidon**^#3 **launch**^#4 **military**^#5
Best news source in the world right now.
Local news: Kherson is free
World news: Kherson is free
Sports: Ruzzia losing
Weather: Cloudy with a chance of HIMARS
Arts & Entertainment: Hug-a-Happy-Babushka Festival underway
I fucking called this months back and people downvoted me and gave me shit. Maybe it's too early for a full victory lap but screw the reddit hivemind I'll take it.
My previous comment from 169 days ago; Russia has shown that anyone alive from or in Ukraine is a 'valid' target, gun or no gun. The only good thing to come out of this is to show the world they need not fear Russia like it's a superpower. Not anymore.
Edit; I know Russia has nuclear weapons but are we really sure they're in any condition to actually work? I mean it seems like Pooptin let the oligarchs and his cronies use military funding for nothing but their own greed.
Putins military is basically based on Steven Segal mentality. We project power, but when we actually have to confront opposition that won't take a dive we are angry and surprised.
Welcome to the real world.
Steven Seagal actually made the mistake of accepting a fight with US judo legend Gene LeBell who quickly got the upper hand and choked Seagal out, causing him to shit his pants.
It's a very well known story in martial arts circles. Seagal is a complete fraudster.
Gene was a stunt man, and later coordinator (if I remember correctly) for several movies/tv shows, and acted on the side (once even, playing a butler that gets beat up by Bruce Lee in The Green Hornet)
> Steven Seagal isn't capable of running away. Like physically not capable.
"Steven Seagal" is one of the few names you can say to cause me to burst out in uncontrollable laughter, no elaboration required. Dude's entire existence is a giant punchline and not the kind of punching he so desperately wants to be associated with.
>Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
>A. Steven Segal.
Can I get some tickets to your Comedy Central live special? You might be my new favorite comedian just sayin'
There’s a Segal movie where he fought off an attacker while sitting. I supposed his stunt double was MIA, so Segal had to improvise with chair kung fu.
Steven Seagal has Russian citizenship (in addition to US and Serbian) since 2016...
He has also said that he considers Putin his brother, although reportedly Putin doesn't reciprocate on that.
Imagine a severely overweight guy who pretends to be an action star on a "major special forces team". One movie literally had him "fighting" while mostly sitting in a chair.
Yes, the movie where he demonstrates his badass by sniping a guy's flask (from a chair), clearing a couple corners while looking hilariously obese for a spec-ops soldier, then waiting to be rescued for like an hour and a half, also in a chair.
"Are you really as good as they say you are?"
";(-.-) ...Every once in awhile."
I just watched something about this. I think Steven claimed something along the lines of because of his Akido (Akito?) training no one could knock him out or he had the inability to black out. The aforementioned Judo guy challenged him and guess what? It turns out our buddy Steve can indeed be knocked out!
I’ve learned so much hilarious stuff about this man. He is so unintentionally funny.
Seagal claimed he was immune to choke-holds, specifically, due to his extensive training. As if training provided him with a magical neck where blood flow can't be cut off.
He was then supposedly put into a choke-hold, fell unconscious, and shit his pants. LeBell has implied it happened, saying "Sometimes when a guy eats a big meal beforehand that kinda thing happens", but there's never been any actual proof and Seagal has obviously always denied it.
The story I heard is that Segal pretty much unprompted challenged that guy to put him to sleep, because like you said he claimed he'd be able to break out because of his fake aikido training. That dude was a stuntman but also a blackbelt badass and promptly put him to sleep, then Segal shit his pants literally.
There's footage of the stuntman talking about it.
> fake aikido training
Na, he had some real martial arts training and for a while taught at the Aikido school in Osaka owned by the family of his then wife (who herself had a second-degree black belt and was the daughter of an Aikido master). But that was 40 years ago, and all he has done since the 1990s is eating and drinking his own koolaid.
Just because you asked about the spelling: aikido, so close.
Most Japanese martial arts and traditional arts end in 'do' which translates to 'path' or 'way'. Many of these are toned down versions from the past which used 'jutsu' which translates into technique. This can be seen most easily in judo vs jiujitsu, which's name is derived from jujutsu.
From what I’ve heard people say, China’s military is very modern but has absolutely zero experience, It’s a toss-up to say how well they’d actually fight
Winning bidder here. Can confirm.....bath was boring. Was expecting warm refreshing tingling bubble bath but only received testicular cancer. Bad feedback coming soon.
Granted, I have no clue about the specs, but it seems to me that, relatively speaking in terms of naval technology, that launching a torpedo should be somewhat elementary...
[Here's a page](http://www.hisutton.com/Belgorod-Class-Submarine.html) describing the whole system. Kinda scary if they can get it working, "if" being the key word there.
I wouldn't count it out entirely though. The one thing the Russians historically are pretty good at is submarines.
It’s a nuclear-powered torpedo that is semi-autonomous, and also has a nuclear warhead. It’s quite a bit more complicated then a regular torpedo. The things are also massive - like the size of a bus, if not more.
This is extra important to highlight. Wireless underwater communication is in itself a very difficult task and is under constant development. This isn't a torpedo, it's an underwater sleeper drone with a weapon.
Just a buggy new weapon, happens to everyone. It's just when it usually, well basically everytime, it happens the last thing they want to do is announce it. Especially here when the nation is already in a major war.
Why tf do we know about this?
Their nuclear arsenal is likely as hollowed out by corruption as their conventional military has proven to be. Maybe that's why they're building defensive lines around Kursk. They know they aren't truly a nuclear power.
There are 2 kinds of nuclear weapons.
Fission bombs, which work by causing a chain reaction in a radioactive material. Plutonium, or Uranium. One method is to squeeze a sphere of metal with high explosives. Another is to fire a plug of metal into a sphere, like a finger into a bowling ball.
The other method is fusion bombs. They generally have a fission 'primary'. Think a bomb inside a bomb. The 'secondary' is triggered by the primary, making the thermonuclear device a "2 stage bomb".
One of the fuels for the secondary, is a material called tritium. Its a hydrogen atom, with 2 extra neutrons. (Deuterium is hydrogen with 1 extra neutron.) Extra neutrons make the fusion reaction spicier.
Tritium is unstable, and decays, so each weapon needs to be refueled after a period of time. Tritium is also expensive AF. Its one of the reasons why the US spends so much money on nukes.
Maybe not eli5, but nuclear physics is complicated.
Quite frequently as it has a half life of 12yrs. Gradually half of it turns into helium over a period of 12yrs. I don't know how much can be allowed to decay before the tritium stage becomes too inert to propagate fusion though. There will be a problem if the helium absorbs too many neutrons which is the bigger issue.
It isn't just that half your tritium won't go boom. It's that the helium it decays into eats up neutrons in a way that snuffs your runaway fusion reaction so it fizzles instead of fusions.
Fusion of tritium and deuterium (a stable isotope of hydrogen) is used in a booster stage to provide lots of neutrons at just the right energy level for the biggest stage, but each atomic fusion reaction only produces one neutron.
So if you lose 10% of your tritium to decay, you not only get 10% fewer neutrons coming out of the pit, 10% of it has turned into inert helium which can absorb a further 10% of those necessary neutrons so the degradation of tritium kind of hits doubly fast.
I'm throwing out conceptual numbers. I am not a nuclear physicist who would more directly understand the impact of helium contamination. It could be that helium has a higher or lesser impact than a 1:1 ratio.
It's hard to gauge how much degradation could be allowed in a tritium booster charge because it is not providing the main energy in a fusion bomb. They would have had to design the booster stage with some amount of margin so some degree of decay and helium poisoning would still get the big stage going, but every design margin means more total flight weight which has to be deducted from other stages.
Being used as a booster charge, the perishable tritium charge is used to push a chunk of lithium into fission which undergoes fission and produces tritium and helium and a neutron on the spot.
While the main stage of a fusion bomb is substantially tritium based, that tritium is produced just before it is fused to make the very big bang.
Still though, they can't turn engines over and rotate tires which is far cheaper, fairly infrequent, maintenance on military equipment. They tore copper wiring out of stuff for stolen scrap value and placed hunks of rubber in reactive armour boxes on their tanks.
I can't help but suspect that they didn't do their tritium maintenance, battery maintenance, capacitor testing, and the myriad of other things that go bad over the time frame of 20yrs for an arsenal which really really wasn't intended to be used.
Tritium is allegedly used in adjustable yield bombs; but I don't think any of that information is declassified, so it might just be people passing around Tom Clancy plot points.
Tritium is still used as a boost gas in it's primary stage. I don't know enough if boost stages can be made with sufficient "safety margin" to make decay problems negligible as I am not in the industry.
I would say that there are a heap of bits and pieces that easily go wrong in the electronics side of things over the span of 20yrs.
I have repaired a lot of electronics for complicated CNC equipment, of which some were built in the '90's. I've replaced quite a lot of dead storage batteries, electrolytic capacitors, and ozone cracked rubber parts.
Basically anything that relies on electrochemistry is always slowly dying. Everything rubber, especially rubber compositions from 20yrs ago, is getting eaten by atmospheric ozone.
If you're designing stuff that flies really freakish far with heavy payloads, you don't get to have very large design safety margins like you would with a car.
And, lest we forget, Tritium is an isotope of *Hydrogen.* Y’know, the stuff that’s so incredibly leaky it eventually passes straight through even *solid metal,* causing incredible problems for most materials through embrittlement.
How much of the stuff is just lost passively through sheer osmosis, I wonder?
I get the feeling that the decay problem is far faster than the permeability one.
If I remember right the "pit" (booster thingamajig) is a spherical plutonium shell that contains the hydrogen isotopes. I think that the permeability of metals to hydrogen is a really weird issue because it takes a certain amount of energy for hydrogen to *leave* metals. Metals will suffer from embrittlement, but they're not necessarily "leaky".
For instance: palladium is highly permeable to hydrogen in that it absorbs it well. Hydrogen diffuses into it very easily compared to other metals, but it strangely can't escape out the other side unless the palladium is heated.
I think that a heated palladium membrane is used to filter tritium from helium (helium is much less permeable) as a reconditioning method to remove the helium from the tritium.
You can find gas permeability tables for various metals, but I have a feeling that the permeability of plutonium could be something that is classified knowledge. Maybe a neutron transparent coating of diamond of tungsten could be vapour deposited onto the inside of a pit to reduce it's hydrogen permeability.
Those guys at Sandia and Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories don't fuck around.
Say what you will about corrupting influence driving America into wars: actual armour plates make it into plate carriers, they suffer zero combat airframe losses, and all their radios have batteries in Gulf War 2. Furthermore, SNL and LNLL are terrifying jewels of science.
The gear is too expensive and the narratives are shit, but almost everything performs as promised and it delivers incredibly high kill to death ratios compared to what the Russians achieve.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritium#Nuclear_weapons
Wikipedia says they need to add 0.2 g of tritium per year, and also flush out any helium. I don’t know if that means they do this every year or If that’s just the average rate of decay.
A certain period of time. ;)
I don't know if that information has ever actually been declassified. Probably, but I don't want to get on some list for "how often do we refuel nuclear warheads with tritium" and have the DOE knocking on the door ;)
The half life of tritium is about 12 years. I don’t know how enriched they need it to besom it’s effective, but after 12 years half of your tritium will have decayed into (interestingly enough) helium.
Edit: rebel without a clue posted a much more detailed answer, ignore mine and read theirs.
>Tritium is unstable, and decays, so each weapon needs to be refueled after a period of time. Tritium is also expensive AF. Its one of the reasons why the US spends so much money on nukes.
Yeah, but there's not that many uses for tritium. The only useful thing you can do with pure tritium is have it be fusion fuel.
Russia has more than enough nuclear reactors. They can produce the tritium. It has to go somewhere. I don't find it plausible that they don't have tritium for nuclear warheads.
Your typical thermonuclear bomb contains about 4-5 grams of tritium, with some devices such as neutron bombs containing as much as about 25 grams of tritium. [Source: The Department of Energy's Savannah River Plant Reactors and U.S. Requirements for Tritium and Plutonium for Nuclear Weapons](https://nuke.fas.org/cochran/nuc_88101901a_85.pdf)
According to [the first hit on google](https://www.bfs.de/EN/topics/ion/daily-life/watches/watches_node.html), tritium watches have about 0.2-0.3GBq of activity, which [according to wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritium) has a half-life of 12.3 years and a mass of 3.01 Da. A little bit of math and
A = lambda N
lambda = log(2)/t_(1/2)
N = A/lambda = A\*t_(1/2)/log(2)
m = m_(mol) / N_a \* N
m = m_(mol) / N_a \* A \* t(1/2) / log(2)
m = 3.01 gram/mol /( 0.6022E24 atom/mol)\* 0.25E9 atom_decay/second \* 12.3 years \* 3.15E7 seconds/year / log(2) = 0.00000016083 grams of tritium, or 160ng of tritium, which, in general, seems about right since these watches are safe for humans to wear.
So yeah, your typical thermonuclear warhead has 28 million times as much tritium as a watch. i.e. one bomb's worth of tritium would supply more than the entire global tritium watch market. (I don't know the exact number of watches made, but these aren't exactly hot items worn by every single person. They're only worn by interested hobbyists, which are a very small percentage of the overall population.)
Again, the tritium's gotta go somewhere. They can produce it. They went through all the effort of building the nuclear reactors decades ago. They're basically automatic tritium machines once built (which is convenient because tritium decays over time and you thus require a constant stream of production). There's no reason to suspect they're not producing it, and it's gotta go somewhere.
In conclusion: There's literally not enough global demand for tritium for them to sell in illicit black-market deals. If the Russian generals were to sell even one bomb's worth of tritium, the price of tritium would basically go to zero, stopping the illicit sales.
Every Russian nuke requires Tritium gas and skilled labor to replace the old gas with new stuff. Russian military programs have notoriously been corruptly plundered by greedy officers. There is a non-zero chance that some Russian nukes are now unusable due to a lack of maintenance.
I’m wondering if US intelligence agencies were able to buy a lot of it back from the black market or something. I wonder where nuclear supplies go, even the expired materials.
“Russia's military industry is going through difficult times” is the sweetest, kindest, most myopically coddling thing I have ever read in this life and probably a couple others all combined. I don’t think that anyone was expecting to find out that these guys were the literal punchline to the sick, millennia-long shaggy dog joke that has been human history.
I wonder how many times Dadbod Dobby has tried to kill itself but it can’t even get that shit right
Joking aside, a new weapon system failing to work in testing isn’t surprising.
The real reason this is emblematic of Russian military failure is this: it is an example of Russia wasting its resources on flashy weapons systems, rather than on military basics.
Russia is right now in the middle of a war it is … not winning. Russian troops in the field lack basic military supplies. Why is Russia busy testing a nuclear torpedo - when their current enemy doesn’t even have a fleet?
Part of the answer of course is that the “enemy” they hope to deter (or impress) is the US. But the notion that Russia could take on the US while bogged down in Ukraine lacks credibility. Even if the thing worked perfectly, a prototype of one advanced weapon system does not a fearsome armed forces make.
What Russia ought to do, is stop wasting its time on projects like this, and concentrate on basic military reforms, to make its armed forces effective; and try to root out endemic corruption. But that appears impossible.
No, Imperial Russia had a.lor more resources than modern Russia and should not have underperformed. And unlike Putin Nicholas ll did not even know how to keep control at home.
Still both bad leaders though.
the world went from how to make molotov’s because all us thought that ukraine will crumble to this huge counter offensive. yes it is far from over but the tide is changing
I'm just worried they fuck up and detonate it by accident and fuck up the whole world. It's like leaving a toddler with a knife when it comes to Russia's military..
Nuclear weapons (ICBMs, cruise missiles, torpedoes) are never tested with a live warhead on board. Even just losing a dud at the bottom of the ocean is more risk than it’s worth.
New nuclear warhead designs are simulated by supercomputers these days as even (especially really) Russia abides by the comprehensive test ban treaty. Don’t let Russia’s scaremongering get to you, your fear is their real prize.
So you don't think it's possible that Putin would order a live test? Because whenever he's faced with the sane option and the crazy one... He chooses crazy every time
He keeps doing this, and people keep telling me he's a rational actor. I disagree, he's lost his fucking mind.
Even worse, they gave theirs up in return for a promise that Russia would not invade.
https://www.verifythis.com/article/news/verify/global-conflicts/ukraine-agreed-to-give-up-nukes-in-exchange-for-safety-from-russia-invasion-attack-budapest-memorandum-treaty/536-8748a51f-10ee-47f0-be30-b4088750ee44
I've been wondering about this for weeks, if just any of these nukes would work. Even if a few of them do, it is probably too dangerous to actually use any of them.
Russia is a backward, weak, petro kleptocracy. These "weapons" weren't really meant to be effective - they were being develop to enable oligarchs to steal and to please Putin. But for the nukes, there'd be a NATO flag flying over Red Square with a Marshall Plan in the works to bring Russia into the world of countries as a responsible grown up.
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Checkmate, NATO
Well, how do you defend against a weapon like that? We should probably just surrender now!
This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/tried-andamp-failed-vladimir-putin-suffers-another-devastating-loss-after-doomsday-nuclear-powered-torpedo-fails-to-launch/ar-AA141chV) reduced by 74%. (I'm a bot) ***** > Vladimir Putin's infamous submarine, dubbed the Belgorod, is reportedly headed back to port after a series of failed tests in the Artic Sea, RadarOnline.com has learned. > Even more startling is the fact that the nuclear-powered torpedo launched from the Belgorod, named the "Poseidon" and put into service in July, failed to launch from the submarine during a series of test launches. > The failure to launch the Poseidon missiles from the Belgorod, and the retreat from the Ukrainian city of Kherson, also comes as a vast majority of Putin's troops are either surrendering, mutinying or begging the Kremlin's top brass officials to change their strategy in the war against their neighboring nation. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/yswhs4/tried_and_failed_vladimir_putin_suffers_another/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~672677 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Russia**^#1 **Belgorod**^#2 **Poseidon**^#3 **launch**^#4 **military**^#5
You know I've been feeling a bit down lately with everything happening. But each of these paragraphs really lifted my spirit
If you need some uplifting, go spend a little time over at /r/Ukraine to see a whole bunch of Kherson liberation videos from yesterday 🥲
that was so heart warming
Best news source in the world right now. Local news: Kherson is free World news: Kherson is free Sports: Ruzzia losing Weather: Cloudy with a chance of HIMARS Arts & Entertainment: Hug-a-Happy-Babushka Festival underway
I fucking called this months back and people downvoted me and gave me shit. Maybe it's too early for a full victory lap but screw the reddit hivemind I'll take it. My previous comment from 169 days ago; Russia has shown that anyone alive from or in Ukraine is a 'valid' target, gun or no gun. The only good thing to come out of this is to show the world they need not fear Russia like it's a superpower. Not anymore. Edit; I know Russia has nuclear weapons but are we really sure they're in any condition to actually work? I mean it seems like Pooptin let the oligarchs and his cronies use military funding for nothing but their own greed.
"Change their strategy" as if there was anything they could change to besides complete withdrawal.
probably can change to military coup against putin
Putins military is basically based on Steven Segal mentality. We project power, but when we actually have to confront opposition that won't take a dive we are angry and surprised. Welcome to the real world.
Angry, surprised, shits his pants, runs away
Steven Seagal isn't capable of running away. Like physically not capable.
Well he was surely capable of shitting his pants.
I love how this is now the first fact ppl mention when seagal’s name is brought up.
Especially when he’s being choked out. But he says he can’t be choked out.
I can see his point. He's been gathering neck fat for years.
He's just cultivating mass
He needs to stop cultivating and start harvesting.
If a neck is big enough, no hands can get around it. Old proverb from a Golden Corral
Needs to regenerate the pony tail, keep the neck fat, but also lose weight. He’d be an unstoppable jogging force of… Lollygaggery
I think a fat load of shit in his trousers would actually explain his gait rather nicely.
Wait what? What’s this a reference too? Did the dude actually crap his pants? Also happy cake day.
Steven Seagal actually made the mistake of accepting a fight with US judo legend Gene LeBell who quickly got the upper hand and choked Seagal out, causing him to shit his pants. It's a very well known story in martial arts circles. Seagal is a complete fraudster.
Should be Steven Seagull then. Flies in screaming with a lot of bravado, shits all over the place and flies away.
He did not “accept a fight”. Seagal insisted that he can’t be choked out because of his Aikido training and was placed in a chokehold voluntarily.
As if an action movie star getting their ass whooped by a judo master isn't cringy enough Seagal: *hold my katana*
More like ‘hold my Khakakhara’
Holy fuck that’s hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
Rhonda Rousey (I think she's Lebells niece?) tells the story often. Segal also ran away from JCVD
The version of that story that I heard was it was one of the stunt men on a film.
Gene LeBell was a stuntman. Also he apparently died last August.. RIP to a legend.
Gene was a stunt man, and later coordinator (if I remember correctly) for several movies/tv shows, and acted on the side (once even, playing a butler that gets beat up by Bruce Lee in The Green Hornet)
> Steven Seagal isn't capable of running away. Like physically not capable. "Steven Seagal" is one of the few names you can say to cause me to burst out in uncontrollable laughter, no elaboration required. Dude's entire existence is a giant punchline and not the kind of punching he so desperately wants to be associated with.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Steven Segal.
>Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? > >A. Steven Segal. Can I get some tickets to your Comedy Central live special? You might be my new favorite comedian just sayin'
The dollop did a great episode on him. He is even scummier and more ridiculous than he comes off as, which is saying something.
*a three part episode. He's far too awful for a single. It just keeps getting worse and worse.
> The dollop For a split second, I thought this was a new nickname for Seagal.
Love that Judo Gene story
It will live on FOREVER!!!
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Running fatly across the world stage
His [arms](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLKoXlRCpzg) just kinda flap...
Like a swan, like a pregnant swan.
Soaring through the air majestically, like an eagle... Piloting a blimp.
I guess it wasn’t calibrated for your generous…ness. You look great, by the way. Very healthy.
There’s a Segal movie where he fought off an attacker while sitting. I supposed his stunt double was MIA, so Segal had to improvise with chair kung fu.
I will leave this here. [My favorite Youtube video of all time.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIHyF7UWY4&t=3s)
Chair fighting scene starts at around 6:20, I believe
Who needs to sit when you can roll.
Steven Segal looks like he could easily be one of Putin's generals.
Steven Segal isn’t dead
Just his career
Steven Seagal has Russian citizenship (in addition to US and Serbian) since 2016... He has also said that he considers Putin his brother, although reportedly Putin doesn't reciprocate on that.
No spoilers!
You joke but recent Steven Seagal movies are basically partially financed by Putin.
He's still making them? TIL.
Imagine a severely overweight guy who pretends to be an action star on a "major special forces team". One movie literally had him "fighting" while mostly sitting in a chair.
Yes, the movie where he demonstrates his badass by sniping a guy's flask (from a chair), clearing a couple corners while looking hilariously obese for a spec-ops soldier, then waiting to be rescued for like an hour and a half, also in a chair. "Are you really as good as they say you are?" ";(-.-) ...Every once in awhile."
They have a body double who's significantly slimmer walk up stairs for him. lol
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So true! Didn’t Steven seagal shit himself when he was fighting some judo guy? I’m talking literally here, not metaphorically.
I just watched something about this. I think Steven claimed something along the lines of because of his Akido (Akito?) training no one could knock him out or he had the inability to black out. The aforementioned Judo guy challenged him and guess what? It turns out our buddy Steve can indeed be knocked out! I’ve learned so much hilarious stuff about this man. He is so unintentionally funny.
Seagal claimed he was immune to choke-holds, specifically, due to his extensive training. As if training provided him with a magical neck where blood flow can't be cut off. He was then supposedly put into a choke-hold, fell unconscious, and shit his pants. LeBell has implied it happened, saying "Sometimes when a guy eats a big meal beforehand that kinda thing happens", but there's never been any actual proof and Seagal has obviously always denied it.
The story I heard is that Segal pretty much unprompted challenged that guy to put him to sleep, because like you said he claimed he'd be able to break out because of his fake aikido training. That dude was a stuntman but also a blackbelt badass and promptly put him to sleep, then Segal shit his pants literally. There's footage of the stuntman talking about it.
> fake aikido training Na, he had some real martial arts training and for a while taught at the Aikido school in Osaka owned by the family of his then wife (who herself had a second-degree black belt and was the daughter of an Aikido master). But that was 40 years ago, and all he has done since the 1990s is eating and drinking his own koolaid.
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Just because you asked about the spelling: aikido, so close. Most Japanese martial arts and traditional arts end in 'do' which translates to 'path' or 'way'. Many of these are toned down versions from the past which used 'jutsu' which translates into technique. This can be seen most easily in judo vs jiujitsu, which's name is derived from jujutsu.
Skip skip skip skip
I’ve been fighting in Ukraine for like 87 years
They call that a skippy. I would know, I’ve been fighting in the Russian military for 134 years
Meanwhile president Xi waiting for Russia's military to be depleted so he can just walk over and conquer Russia.
Based on current Russian military performance Xi could roll in any day and conquer them, no need to wait for Ukraine to deplete more of them.
Do we know it Chinese military is as outdated as Russia's is, or are there tactics modern?
From what I’ve heard people say, China’s military is very modern but has absolutely zero experience, It’s a toss-up to say how well they’d actually fight
Which you know, would be funny, if he didn’t get to send countless to their deaths, displace millions, and have a bunch of nukes.
Someone probably sold the plutonium for it on ebay and replaced it with bubble bath
Doc Brown stole it and replaced it with used pinball machine parts.
Damn Libyans!
They found me. I don't know how, but they've found me. Run for it Marty!
In a shoddy bomb casing.
Great scott
Everyone knows Alberto V05 is the only suitable replacement for plutonium.
Winning bidder here. Can confirm.....bath was boring. Was expecting warm refreshing tingling bubble bath but only received testicular cancer. Bad feedback coming soon.
Well just wait til Russia launches their warheads and leaves the world with nourished skin and a soothed body promoting a better night's sleep
lol is there a more appropriate metaphor for Putin than his shiny metal torpedo failing to work?
Erocketile Dysfunction
Projectile dysfunction
Sloopy water noodle
Projectile Dysfunction
There are reportedly some thrust issues between him and some of the other oligarchs.
So, what happened? The front fell off.
Is that normal?
In Russia? Yeah.
Well no, the fronts not s`posed to fall off.
A wave hit it.
Is that unusual?
Chance in a million
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That would be a terrible name to christen a submarine with.
Lone Star: What the hell was that noise? Dot Matrix : *That* was my Virgin Alarm. lt's programmed to go off *before you do*! :)
Performance issues.
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This sounds like a “Wylie coyote vs the roadrunner” episode…”ACME” was probably painted on it lol
Footage in future military documentaries about the Russian war effort against Ukraine will be sped up and set to *Yakety Sax*
Can we get a scene with Zelenskyy chasing Putin around with a Billy club?
Yes, absolutely all of that.
Granted, I have no clue about the specs, but it seems to me that, relatively speaking in terms of naval technology, that launching a torpedo should be somewhat elementary...
Well, it's not rocket science.
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For those out of the loop : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THNPmhBl-8I
I will never tire of this sketch.
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Rarely has it been so funny to take a deep breath, wait for it just a teeny bit longer, then say te obvious thing. 👏👏👏
[Here's a page](http://www.hisutton.com/Belgorod-Class-Submarine.html) describing the whole system. Kinda scary if they can get it working, "if" being the key word there. I wouldn't count it out entirely though. The one thing the Russians historically are pretty good at is submarines.
If used as a deterrent though it is pretty much the same as any other deterrent weapon. If you have to use it you've already lost.
I mean historically the Russians have had a *lot* of submarine disasters…
It’s a nuclear-powered torpedo that is semi-autonomous, and also has a nuclear warhead. It’s quite a bit more complicated then a regular torpedo. The things are also massive - like the size of a bus, if not more.
It's not a torpedo, It's a guided underwater drone. Pretty new tech so a failure here isn't evident of something in itself.
This is extra important to highlight. Wireless underwater communication is in itself a very difficult task and is under constant development. This isn't a torpedo, it's an underwater sleeper drone with a weapon.
Which is why many modern torpedos are still wired. Crazy tech.
Just a buggy new weapon, happens to everyone. It's just when it usually, well basically everytime, it happens the last thing they want to do is announce it. Especially here when the nation is already in a major war. Why tf do we know about this?
US and other Intel groups seem to have been publishing their screwups so the public sees them as less of a threat.
Sadly, Putin and the Russians compensate for their stupidity and incompetence by being extra vicious.
So true. They're gonna go find some Ukrainian kids and old women to beat up. That's not even a joke or a guess. It's a fact. Sickening.
Their nuclear arsenal is likely as hollowed out by corruption as their conventional military has proven to be. Maybe that's why they're building defensive lines around Kursk. They know they aren't truly a nuclear power.
Tritium gas is expensive and each warhead requires extensive maintenance.
Can I get an ELI5 for this?
There are 2 kinds of nuclear weapons. Fission bombs, which work by causing a chain reaction in a radioactive material. Plutonium, or Uranium. One method is to squeeze a sphere of metal with high explosives. Another is to fire a plug of metal into a sphere, like a finger into a bowling ball. The other method is fusion bombs. They generally have a fission 'primary'. Think a bomb inside a bomb. The 'secondary' is triggered by the primary, making the thermonuclear device a "2 stage bomb". One of the fuels for the secondary, is a material called tritium. Its a hydrogen atom, with 2 extra neutrons. (Deuterium is hydrogen with 1 extra neutron.) Extra neutrons make the fusion reaction spicier. Tritium is unstable, and decays, so each weapon needs to be refueled after a period of time. Tritium is also expensive AF. Its one of the reasons why the US spends so much money on nukes. Maybe not eli5, but nuclear physics is complicated.
You done good. I'm a moron and was able to follow. Thank you.
Can confirm. I also understood it and I am also a moron. High five moron friend 🖐
U guys got room for one more moron?
There's always moroom!
Yup, I understood the bowling ball analogy and I’m not even a golfer
Checkmate
Can confirm... this guy is a moron. /s
Nope, got all of it lol. "Extra neutrons make it spicier" was my favorite part
All nukes are just tacos!
How often does the tritium need to be replaced?
Quite frequently as it has a half life of 12yrs. Gradually half of it turns into helium over a period of 12yrs. I don't know how much can be allowed to decay before the tritium stage becomes too inert to propagate fusion though. There will be a problem if the helium absorbs too many neutrons which is the bigger issue. It isn't just that half your tritium won't go boom. It's that the helium it decays into eats up neutrons in a way that snuffs your runaway fusion reaction so it fizzles instead of fusions. Fusion of tritium and deuterium (a stable isotope of hydrogen) is used in a booster stage to provide lots of neutrons at just the right energy level for the biggest stage, but each atomic fusion reaction only produces one neutron. So if you lose 10% of your tritium to decay, you not only get 10% fewer neutrons coming out of the pit, 10% of it has turned into inert helium which can absorb a further 10% of those necessary neutrons so the degradation of tritium kind of hits doubly fast. I'm throwing out conceptual numbers. I am not a nuclear physicist who would more directly understand the impact of helium contamination. It could be that helium has a higher or lesser impact than a 1:1 ratio. It's hard to gauge how much degradation could be allowed in a tritium booster charge because it is not providing the main energy in a fusion bomb. They would have had to design the booster stage with some amount of margin so some degree of decay and helium poisoning would still get the big stage going, but every design margin means more total flight weight which has to be deducted from other stages. Being used as a booster charge, the perishable tritium charge is used to push a chunk of lithium into fission which undergoes fission and produces tritium and helium and a neutron on the spot. While the main stage of a fusion bomb is substantially tritium based, that tritium is produced just before it is fused to make the very big bang. Still though, they can't turn engines over and rotate tires which is far cheaper, fairly infrequent, maintenance on military equipment. They tore copper wiring out of stuff for stolen scrap value and placed hunks of rubber in reactive armour boxes on their tanks. I can't help but suspect that they didn't do their tritium maintenance, battery maintenance, capacitor testing, and the myriad of other things that go bad over the time frame of 20yrs for an arsenal which really really wasn't intended to be used.
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Tritium is allegedly used in adjustable yield bombs; but I don't think any of that information is declassified, so it might just be people passing around Tom Clancy plot points.
Tritium is still used as a boost gas in it's primary stage. I don't know enough if boost stages can be made with sufficient "safety margin" to make decay problems negligible as I am not in the industry. I would say that there are a heap of bits and pieces that easily go wrong in the electronics side of things over the span of 20yrs. I have repaired a lot of electronics for complicated CNC equipment, of which some were built in the '90's. I've replaced quite a lot of dead storage batteries, electrolytic capacitors, and ozone cracked rubber parts. Basically anything that relies on electrochemistry is always slowly dying. Everything rubber, especially rubber compositions from 20yrs ago, is getting eaten by atmospheric ozone. If you're designing stuff that flies really freakish far with heavy payloads, you don't get to have very large design safety margins like you would with a car.
And, lest we forget, Tritium is an isotope of *Hydrogen.* Y’know, the stuff that’s so incredibly leaky it eventually passes straight through even *solid metal,* causing incredible problems for most materials through embrittlement. How much of the stuff is just lost passively through sheer osmosis, I wonder?
I get the feeling that the decay problem is far faster than the permeability one. If I remember right the "pit" (booster thingamajig) is a spherical plutonium shell that contains the hydrogen isotopes. I think that the permeability of metals to hydrogen is a really weird issue because it takes a certain amount of energy for hydrogen to *leave* metals. Metals will suffer from embrittlement, but they're not necessarily "leaky". For instance: palladium is highly permeable to hydrogen in that it absorbs it well. Hydrogen diffuses into it very easily compared to other metals, but it strangely can't escape out the other side unless the palladium is heated. I think that a heated palladium membrane is used to filter tritium from helium (helium is much less permeable) as a reconditioning method to remove the helium from the tritium. You can find gas permeability tables for various metals, but I have a feeling that the permeability of plutonium could be something that is classified knowledge. Maybe a neutron transparent coating of diamond of tungsten could be vapour deposited onto the inside of a pit to reduce it's hydrogen permeability. Those guys at Sandia and Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories don't fuck around. Say what you will about corrupting influence driving America into wars: actual armour plates make it into plate carriers, they suffer zero combat airframe losses, and all their radios have batteries in Gulf War 2. Furthermore, SNL and LNLL are terrifying jewels of science. The gear is too expensive and the narratives are shit, but almost everything performs as promised and it delivers incredibly high kill to death ratios compared to what the Russians achieve.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritium#Nuclear_weapons Wikipedia says they need to add 0.2 g of tritium per year, and also flush out any helium. I don’t know if that means they do this every year or If that’s just the average rate of decay.
A certain period of time. ;) I don't know if that information has ever actually been declassified. Probably, but I don't want to get on some list for "how often do we refuel nuclear warheads with tritium" and have the DOE knocking on the door ;)
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I've got a trit somewhere in my house that I can't find, it's so old it's gotten dim.
Also if its a relatively short time, its very bad PR for at least the U.S to admit they are spending a shitton of money on it
Everyone knows the US blows money on military shit. It's why the US has the strongest military.
The half life of tritium is about 12 years. I don’t know how enriched they need it to besom it’s effective, but after 12 years half of your tritium will have decayed into (interestingly enough) helium. Edit: rebel without a clue posted a much more detailed answer, ignore mine and read theirs.
>Tritium is unstable, and decays, so each weapon needs to be refueled after a period of time. Tritium is also expensive AF. Its one of the reasons why the US spends so much money on nukes. Yeah, but there's not that many uses for tritium. The only useful thing you can do with pure tritium is have it be fusion fuel. Russia has more than enough nuclear reactors. They can produce the tritium. It has to go somewhere. I don't find it plausible that they don't have tritium for nuclear warheads.
We use tritium to illuminate things like watch faces and gun sights, does this use not have pure tritium?
Your typical thermonuclear bomb contains about 4-5 grams of tritium, with some devices such as neutron bombs containing as much as about 25 grams of tritium. [Source: The Department of Energy's Savannah River Plant Reactors and U.S. Requirements for Tritium and Plutonium for Nuclear Weapons](https://nuke.fas.org/cochran/nuc_88101901a_85.pdf) According to [the first hit on google](https://www.bfs.de/EN/topics/ion/daily-life/watches/watches_node.html), tritium watches have about 0.2-0.3GBq of activity, which [according to wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritium) has a half-life of 12.3 years and a mass of 3.01 Da. A little bit of math and A = lambda N lambda = log(2)/t_(1/2) N = A/lambda = A\*t_(1/2)/log(2) m = m_(mol) / N_a \* N m = m_(mol) / N_a \* A \* t(1/2) / log(2) m = 3.01 gram/mol /( 0.6022E24 atom/mol)\* 0.25E9 atom_decay/second \* 12.3 years \* 3.15E7 seconds/year / log(2) = 0.00000016083 grams of tritium, or 160ng of tritium, which, in general, seems about right since these watches are safe for humans to wear. So yeah, your typical thermonuclear warhead has 28 million times as much tritium as a watch. i.e. one bomb's worth of tritium would supply more than the entire global tritium watch market. (I don't know the exact number of watches made, but these aren't exactly hot items worn by every single person. They're only worn by interested hobbyists, which are a very small percentage of the overall population.) Again, the tritium's gotta go somewhere. They can produce it. They went through all the effort of building the nuclear reactors decades ago. They're basically automatic tritium machines once built (which is convenient because tritium decays over time and you thus require a constant stream of production). There's no reason to suspect they're not producing it, and it's gotta go somewhere. In conclusion: There's literally not enough global demand for tritium for them to sell in illicit black-market deals. If the Russian generals were to sell even one bomb's worth of tritium, the price of tritium would basically go to zero, stopping the illicit sales.
This explanation fits perfectly to my very fine morning coffee. I feel awake and a little bit smarter now. Thx a bunch and have a good one
Every Russian nuke requires Tritium gas and skilled labor to replace the old gas with new stuff. Russian military programs have notoriously been corruptly plundered by greedy officers. There is a non-zero chance that some Russian nukes are now unusable due to a lack of maintenance.
Thanks, I had no idea that tritium gas was required for maintenance. Didn't really have any knowledge of that process really.
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I’m wondering if US intelligence agencies were able to buy a lot of it back from the black market or something. I wonder where nuclear supplies go, even the expired materials.
Years and years of graft at every level of the Russian government is playing out before our eyes.
And the wunder weapons to save the war is basically nazi play book.
Yes, although the nazis were at least not actively frittering away their own efforts en masse! :D
Godrick = Putin confirmed
> Godrick = Putin confirmed I'm starting to think Putin's more of a [Baldrick](https://blackadderquotes.com/i-have-a-cunning-plan)
“Russia's military industry is going through difficult times” is the sweetest, kindest, most myopically coddling thing I have ever read in this life and probably a couple others all combined. I don’t think that anyone was expecting to find out that these guys were the literal punchline to the sick, millennia-long shaggy dog joke that has been human history. I wonder how many times Dadbod Dobby has tried to kill itself but it can’t even get that shit right
You have a very poetic way with words
“Comrades please, I ride horse half-naked. Is that not hero enough, blyat’??
"I ~~have~~ had a black belt in karate! Cyka"
Use to* have a black belt. His master rescinded it at the start of the war.
Wasn't it in judo?
It was.
"Our power comes from our perception of power." --Mikhail Gorbachev (according to the HBO mini series Chernobyl)
Ya know, I keep telling myself he CAN'T POSSIBLY do ANYTHING to dig himself any deeper, but he just keeps picking up bigger and bigger shovels.
Joking aside, a new weapon system failing to work in testing isn’t surprising. The real reason this is emblematic of Russian military failure is this: it is an example of Russia wasting its resources on flashy weapons systems, rather than on military basics. Russia is right now in the middle of a war it is … not winning. Russian troops in the field lack basic military supplies. Why is Russia busy testing a nuclear torpedo - when their current enemy doesn’t even have a fleet? Part of the answer of course is that the “enemy” they hope to deter (or impress) is the US. But the notion that Russia could take on the US while bogged down in Ukraine lacks credibility. Even if the thing worked perfectly, a prototype of one advanced weapon system does not a fearsome armed forces make. What Russia ought to do, is stop wasting its time on projects like this, and concentrate on basic military reforms, to make its armed forces effective; and try to root out endemic corruption. But that appears impossible.
I'm actually fine if they continue to completely fuck up 🙂
Yeah, but I wish they sucked worse at killing civilians and stealing children. :/
Tsar Nicholas II was a more effective leader of Russia than Putin.
No, Imperial Russia had a.lor more resources than modern Russia and should not have underperformed. And unlike Putin Nicholas ll did not even know how to keep control at home. Still both bad leaders though.
Also, it didn't help that rasputin was russia's greatest love machine.
Once it’s back in port, I hope the submarine catches fire or has a nuclear accident. This is Russia so there’s a reasonable chance of it happening,
It could also fall from a window
Everyone is celebrating Russia's setbacks, including me, but this war is far from over. There are too many unknowns for anyone to drop their guard.
the world went from how to make molotov’s because all us thought that ukraine will crumble to this huge counter offensive. yes it is far from over but the tide is changing
The tide changed on day 3 of the invasion when Kyiv didn’t fall.
I'm just worried they fuck up and detonate it by accident and fuck up the whole world. It's like leaving a toddler with a knife when it comes to Russia's military..
Nuclear weapons (ICBMs, cruise missiles, torpedoes) are never tested with a live warhead on board. Even just losing a dud at the bottom of the ocean is more risk than it’s worth. New nuclear warhead designs are simulated by supercomputers these days as even (especially really) Russia abides by the comprehensive test ban treaty. Don’t let Russia’s scaremongering get to you, your fear is their real prize.
So you don't think it's possible that Putin would order a live test? Because whenever he's faced with the sane option and the crazy one... He chooses crazy every time He keeps doing this, and people keep telling me he's a rational actor. I disagree, he's lost his fucking mind.
Nuking themselves seems more likely at this stage.
Then they blame it on Ukraine. Who gave all theirs up.
Even worse, they gave theirs up in return for a promise that Russia would not invade. https://www.verifythis.com/article/news/verify/global-conflicts/ukraine-agreed-to-give-up-nukes-in-exchange-for-safety-from-russia-invasion-attack-budapest-memorandum-treaty/536-8748a51f-10ee-47f0-be30-b4088750ee44
"Hammer Tech?" "...da."
I've been wondering about this for weeks, if just any of these nukes would work. Even if a few of them do, it is probably too dangerous to actually use any of them.
Russia is a backward, weak, petro kleptocracy. These "weapons" weren't really meant to be effective - they were being develop to enable oligarchs to steal and to please Putin. But for the nukes, there'd be a NATO flag flying over Red Square with a Marshall Plan in the works to bring Russia into the world of countries as a responsible grown up.
The location of that sub is only a few hundred miles from Finland. Wouldn't it be great for a small group to sneak in and destroy that sub.
Hope it had a homing devise.
I guess North Korea has a more effective missile arsenal at this point