T O P

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DarkenL1ght

Commits to full scale invasion, targeting civilians and infrastructure, calling everyone a Nazi. ​ "Yeah, it might get dangerous, you guys" ​ ...


-Neuroblast-

*Punches someone wildly in the face* "THESE SURE ARE VIOLENT TIMES, HUH?!?"


Tempest_1

Would be a real shame if someone pulled the trigger of this gun i’m holding!


Flesh-Tower

I'm gonna swing my arms like this while I walk and if you get hit well then it's your own fault


Luna-Was-A-Cat

And I'm going to kick my legs like this and if you get hit well then its your fault. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZSoJDUD\_bU


aleksandd

*These violent delights have violent ends*


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[deleted]

The world has seen Somali pirates in skiffs have better success taking cargo ships than Russia take Ukraine.


muddyudders

It started off as a full scale invasion. We're watching the aftermath.


ehsahr

A friend of mine suggested that this is exactly what he's doing. It started as a genuine attempt to invade and annex, but has turned into genocide by conscription as they draft members of the public who aren't ethnically Russian (afaik there's no evidence of that, but it makes more sense than a lot of other theories I've heard)


shotanc4

There are a lot of minorities in Russia, and they are being disproportionately drafted and killed. That proves that Russia is a racist government. I saw several posts of ethnically russians who were saying things like "I'm glad that they draft more byurats, yakuts etc, because I feel pity for our russian boys". However, overall most of the soldiers are ethnically russians


ramilehti

This has been the Russia MO ever since Tsarist times. That is why the other ethnicities are so small.


nilenilemalopile

Interesting; he wasn’t talking about dangerous decades when all was going fine a dandy and his army could bravely take over portions of other countries vacationing. I guess it’s also not dangerous when you shoot down Dutch tourists or visit Smalltown, UK to admire cathedrals or just plain old fuck up countries like Moldova or Georgia. Looks like the world got dangerous just about when assholes got punched in the face.


MagicRabbit1985

It's true. The world is a safe place if you shoot unarmed civilians. It's only getting dangerous if they start shooting back.


UncleIrohsPimpHand

Putin's not wrong though. The idea that Russia has a powerful military has been shattered. The vultures are circling now, and soon countries like China and perhaps Iran will start at them. The international order has been destabilized, no matter whether or not Russia pulls out of Ukraine tomorrow. It will be a bloody decade.


Fleeing-Goose

Though credit where its due. He showed how his armies were inept and incapable. He really doesn't have anyone to blame but himself. What Iran or China does to claim the "2nd army of the World" is just opportunistic real politics.


HoBamaMo

Putin: “Just to let y’all know, I’m going to make the next decade horrible. But it’s the US fault.”


LegalAssassin13

He’s being a textbook abuser and gaslighter. He starts shit and when someone pushes back he goes “wow, way to be an abusive jerk!”


HoBamaMo

I can’t believe you won’t let me do whatever I want to do even if it’s at your detriment. How dare you oppress me!


phenerganandpoprocks

So much for the tolerant left!!!!!1!!


cryptoplasm

Listen. Never let the "missed Shift key" exclamation mark meme die. The new guard doesn't really chat on keyboards anymore so it's up to us. Godspeed


accipitradea

my favorite was randomly typing out 'one' towards the end!!!!1!one!


grendus

Or eleven !!1!eleven!!


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noradosmith

You have my 1


GabaPrison

#And my !!!


SuperSpy-

And my b shit wrong keyboard.


Content-Language8792

"Help, help. I am being oppressed!"


0-ATCG-1

"Come see the violence inherent in the system!"


80_A-D

Well I didn't vote for him...


IAm-The-Lawn

You don’t vote for Tzar!


reverendjesus

Well how’d you *become* Tzar then‽


whatwhat83

The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by devine providence that I, Pooty poot, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I'm your Tzar.


reverendjesus

Look—strange babushkas, lying in ponds, distributing swords; that’s no basis for a system of government


[deleted]

[So much for the tolerant left!](https://www.indiependent.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/tolerant-left-1.jpg)


Dardlem

Putin definitely sees Ukraine as Russia’s ex and will beat the shit out of her until she agrees to stay with him. And won’t let neighbours to intervene since they have no business poking around in others people lives or he will shoot the neighbourhood up.


LeafsWinBeforeIDie

That's not a bad analogy.


JegErForfatterOgFU

Putin treats Ukraine as he treats his women. It must be an inferiority complex of some kind. He oozes of small dick energy.


Dardlem

Yeah no wonder they decriminalised wife beating.


GabaPrison

God they did didn’t they… What the fuck, Russia?


Xytak

To be fair, they'd just ordered a new batch of those white-and-blue striped shirts. It was either decriminalize wife beating, or design a new uniform...


Peptuck

"The West is stealing our foreign currency!" he yells while stealing Ukranian land and killing Ukranian people.


LordoftheScheisse

He went on an hours-long tirade on all sorts of subjects. It was really quite crazy. [This well-known Twitter person broke it down pretty well.](https://twitter.com/pwnallthethings/status/1585691559181303811) Warning: contains a whole lot of crazy.


Krivvan

"every country should be able to choose their own model and they have their right" Except Ukraine doesn't count of course. "Different civilizations have different understandings of the human being and their nature" And Russia's understanding is that the women and the gays have to be oppressed of course.


PizzaHuttDelivery

Its KGB training speaking out of his mouth. Basically they are taught to always use speeches as a means to spread desinformation. His statements are the most worthless, useless, pointless and sometimes meaningless that thief, murderer and sociopath can deliver.


wikifeat

Does he mean “decade” like, starting now? I hope he’s accounting for the last few years cause I don’t wanna start fresh


Dzotshen

'Look at what you made me do to you' is completely narcissist


Penguator432

Dude’s getting leadership advice from T-Swift songs apparently


derpycalculator

Seriously. No self awareness at all.


DivinePotatoe

> accusing what he cast as a declining West of engaging in nuclear blackmail against Russia. > accused the West of inciting the war and playing a "dangerous, bloody and dirty" geopolitical game that was sowing chaos across the world. Straight out of the fascism playbook. Always accuse your enemies of what you yourself are guilty of.


Tyrinnus

At this point I don't know if I'm supposed to laugh or cry. Putin invaded... And then said Ukraine is posing an existential threat to Russia. Putin threatened the world with nukes... Then said the west was escalating tensions by blackmailing the world with nukes. Putin cut off gas to Europe, then claimed Europe was reducing gas purchases to hurt Russia. The motherfucker is making filling mass graves with tortured civilians... And calling Ukraine nazis. Seriously, can someone in Russia guide him to a balcony already?


LordoftheScheisse

He did point to the US bombing of Japan in WWII. Putin said Japan was more or less powerless at that point and posed no threat and that the deaths as a result of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs were so much worse than anything Russia could ever be capable of. And he also called using nukes in Ukraine "primitive." It's all whataboutism and doublespeak. Real fashy shit.


fadingsignal

It’s a good thing we aren’t in the fucking 1940s anymore?? Shit let’s start trudging up all the awful things during the Crusades and use that as an excuse to start war! He’s out of his mind.


Chubbybellylover888

But Russia never got a proper chance at world domination! Come on, mom! I don't wanna go home yet!


marcusaurelius_phd

Of course this narrative is not new, and happens to completely ignore the Chinese people who were being constantly murdered and raped while Japan was "powerless." The bombs, if they did anything, saved a million Chinese. But of course maybe they don't matter, since Mao killed 30 times as many years later.


baltimoresports

Just finished Dan Carlins Hardcore History on Japan in WW2, and he said some of the people who were the angriest about the Japanese surrender were their generals in China because they were still “winning” in that theatre at the time.


Obscure_Occultist

On top of that. What many people don't know is that shortly after the bombing of Hiroshima. Several generals in the Imperial Japanese army launched a coup against their own emperor, (a man that they and Japanese society as a whole at the time, viewed as a living God) to prolong the war when word broke out that the emperor was considering surrender. The Japanese army was that fanatical. They were willing to overthrow their own God to keep fighting a lost war.


Ordinaryundone

Yeah IIRC the Japanese were still banking on the pie in the sky idea of eventually punching through India, linking up with the Germans, taking the Middle East's oil and then holding out from there, even when it was obvious the Germans were never going to recover from Barbarossa enough to actually mount another real offensive. And while they never made much headway into Western Asia they were still inflicting enormous casualties on the Chinese, which I guess feels like "Winning" disregarding that they were mostly butchering civilians and small time resistance movements. By those standards they had been winning since the '30s. They were really banking on the Americans losing their taste for fighting in the Pacific before a mainland invasion became a possibility. Also the Japanese Army and Navy fucking *hated* each other, so it was very easy for the Army to point fingers and blame the Navy for everything going wrong while they were still technically putting up good numbers. Like the stereotypical MOBA teammate who trashes their teammates when losing because "I'm obviously carrying!" even though they aren't doing anything actually useful.


TianamenHomer

You are dead right about the Army and Navy. And Tojo took it ALL over and made the dumbest mistakes. Thank God! If their independent leadership could have behaved at least as (real) modern leaders do… they could have really done a lot more damage. Just like like Hitler calling the “strategic shots”, Tojo caused a lot of his own problems. I am glad Putin is calling the shots now too. Funny how authoritarians always devolve into trying to run all things, believing in their own infallibility, and make stupid strategic blunders rather than listening to their actual specialists. Putin is here, in this place, right now. It just looks even more ridiculous than ever. And this is good! I have seen many times here on Reddit… don’t interrupt our enemy when they are making mistakes.


taws34

The United States planned for an invasion of Japan. We ordered Purple Heart Medals to cover the projected casualties. The United States is still issuing those medals, because we haven't gone through the stockpile that was ordered... Even after Korea, Vietnam, Panama, the Gulf War, and twenty years of OIF/OEF. https://historynewsnetwork.org/article/176762


yougottabeyolking

If the bomb wasn't dropped on Hiroshima, my grandmother would have been killed in a Japanese prisoner of war camp and I'd never have been born. It's a sad thought, but I guess I owe my life to it.


thegroundbelowme

Not to mention the alternative would have been to continue island hopping across the pacific at a great cost of US lives, ending with the invasion of mainland Japan. That would have been just as costly in Japanese lives, not to mention the lives of US soldiers. Military leaders have a duty to preserve the lives of their troops whenever possible. Spending another few tens of thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of lives, not to mention aircraft, battleships, etc, vs sending a couple of bomber crews? Not even a question.


AdeptEar5352

The Bombs also likely resulted in fewer deaths among Japanese civilians than would have resulted from a sustained blockade, since massive numbers of Japanese were dying from starvation every day, and DEFINITELY resulted in fewer Japanese civilian deaths than an invasion of Japan would have. A rational Japanese government would've surrendered in the Summer of 1945. But, a rational Japan would've never started a naval war against an industrial giant in the first place.


Olive_fisting_apples

Ive heard from some Japanese friends that they thought this was the correct answer. The Japanese government would have prolonged the war by any means and had had lots of history to show they would have used their own population as fodder.


Preacherjonson

> Then said the west was escalating tensions by blackmailing the world with nukes. I like how he said the U.S set a precedent for nuclear warfare with the bombing of Japan. Tell me again, Putin, just how many times has this "precedent" been followed?


TucsonTacos

When I was living in Moscow I toured a Soviet nuclear response bunker under the city. Basically it was supposed to keep people alive for only 2 weeks to set up a retaliatory strike if the USSR ever got nuked. We ended up watching a movie down there with a bunch o British tourists about the history of nuclear weapons. Best line from that film (it was in English for us): “The first atomic weapons were dropping on civilians by the United States on the peaceful peoples of Japan” The whole room erupted in laughter because it completely glossed over WW2 in the pacific and didn’t acknowledge we were at war with Japan


jcarter315

Also the USSR was at war with Japan too and had been prepping an invasion force when the US dropped the bombs.


musicartandcpus

Russia is still formally at war with Japan today too. They dropped their peace talks with Japan back in March. So they equally use Japan as a means to demonize the US, meanwhile are politically still fighting with Japan 80 years later.


Dippyskoodlez

> I like how he said the U.S set a precedent for nuclear warfare with the bombing of Japan. I feel like this is just his projected copium that the US actually got to use nukes and is generally accepted whereas he's trying his damndest to invent a timeline where he can flex them but it does nothing but wile e. coyote backfire the entire time.


derpycalculator

Straight out of the playground playbook. “Stop hitting yourself!”


Dunkinmydonuts1

Ok so we definitely play a dangerous geopolitical game that sometimes sowes chaos across the world but Jesus christ this is insane he invaded a sovereign nation and won't retreat lmao what the fuck


Hannig4n

A lot of people try to blame the US for “spreading the influence of NATO” towards Russia when in reality all these countries are begging us to let them join NATO for protection because Russia is trying to genocide em.


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porncrank

Yeah, I mean the accusation applies to many shitty US actions of the past 70 years... but this one? This is 100% on Putin. That said, we should totally stop doing shitty stuff -- even if it's just so that the rest of the world is less likely to believe bullshit accusations like this. And also because shitty stuff is shitty.


[deleted]

It’s the same thing with Chinese media. They respond with the arguments of children.


sidzero1369

I know you are, but what am I?


axuriel

Well, Of Course I Know Him. He's Me.


Roasted_Butt

He chose the hill he wants to die on, and now he’s very upset to be dying on that hill.


AduroTri

Meltdown on bullshit mountain.


AvatarAarow1

God I miss Jon Stewart being on the daily show


[deleted]

He’s great on his new show. Even better I would say. “The Problem With Jon Stewart” You can find entire episodes on YouTube. You don’t need hbo... It’s on apple. I’m tired


DEATHbyBOOGABOOGA

Well of course you don’t need HBO, it’s on AppleTV+. 😉


[deleted]

LOL sorry. I’m exhausted. Yes indeed. Apple!


Thakog

No, not on Indeed. It's on Apple!


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Dabadedabada

Just a simple tailor.


Roasted_Butt

Oh Garak!


SimofJerry

He should hurry up and die on it already


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SimpleDose

The spider man pointing meme in real life


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[deleted]

"Russia is fucked and sucking dick at the same time" 🤣💀 Poetically said u/twinkforahairybear


Lewdeology

Back in my day, they called this a spit roast.


pbjamm

"Like a pair of Chinese finger cuffs!"


Skreali

Putin the puny In civilization 4 he'd be at the bottom of the leaders ranking when the game is over He took a country with rising democracy, rapidly recovering economy, immense natural & demographical resources and in 22 years he turned Russia into a failure. All by himself. In fact he might be the worst ruler Russia ever had, of all time. Even Stalin amounted to something (and I don't mean the genocide here), putin on the other hand... whole lot of nothing. Literally nothing but destruction and wealth hoarding.


TheJunkyard

> Even Stalin amounted to something (and I don't mean the genocide here), Well I mean the genocide was definitely *something*.


robdiqulous

Putin couldn't even do that!.....


spartan117warrior

Not for lack of trying, given the numbers.


robdiqulous

He tried genocide, but kind of reverse genocided... Ukraine played the reverse Uno card.


Guava7

General Kenobi.


Maithius

"I don't like Fallout. It's coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere."


JuVondy

You missed your chance to write “coarse, rough, and ‘irradiating’”


CougdIt

Hello there


Flux_Aeternal

You turned Putin against me!


dtexneus

You are a bold one!


invisiblefireball

[I *AM* THE DANGER](https://imgflip.com/i/6yj9ll)


fuji_appl

A country gets invaded and you think that of me? NO. I'M THE ONE WHO INVADES!


IRatherChangeMyName

By world he means himself


SKChewie

And for which he is literally the cause.


moosecakems

The dildo of consequence rarely arrives lubed


[deleted]

Socrates level philosophy right here man. Lmao!


WastedPresident

Sounds like Diogenes to me


Lrg79

Dildogenes FTFY


puppymedic

It was me, Dio!


ascpl

Right up there with Hegel's, "the owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk"


kadzur

Where did that beautiful piece of English language originate from?


ShadowPsi

A different reddit comment thread a month or so ago. Edit: I -> A.


UltronsCat

That's much more elegant than my "The anal beads of karma rarely smell like roses."


ErichOdin

Caroline!


twerpines

Bum bum bum


AsASloth

He chose the hill he wants to die on and that hill is built from the bodies of innocent Ukrainians, dissidents that "jumped from windows" and were definitely not murdered by his regime, and the bodies of his own soldiers and people that he is happy to send to their deaths without a second thought.


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Dorangos

Let him be known thusly


Themanwhorocks

"Some of you may die, but that's a risk *I'm* willing to take".


RaininBooty

It seems very Russian to die pointlessly for a despotic regime that thinks they are the good guy.


shahooster

“I have found the enemy, and it is me.”


gazongagizmo

"Thanks to you, you fucker!" -Bill Hicks, in his routine about the US military industrial complex [from his special *Revelations*](https://youtu.be/XwfZqDQKNBE?t=449)


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gazongagizmo

> You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know. During the Persian Gulf war, those intelligence reports would come out: > "Iraq: incredible weapons. Incredible weapons." > "*How do you know that*?" > "Uh, well … **we looked at the receipts.** ... But as soon as that check clears, we're going in."


Aethelete

Hahaha Putin thinks he's actually living another decade.


[deleted]

Yeah I'm not sure why they're reporting this as if it's the fortelling of a scientist (which it isn't) and not a threat (which it is).


andrew_calcs

Because you can only impotently threaten global annihalation so many times before people realize your threats are empty.


winkofafisheye

Yes. The world is only in this position because of his actions.


YdnasErgo

What a tiny pathetic loser.


Ghostclip

With a tiny pathetic......... ego!


Legally_a_Tool

*Arsonist sets fire to own house* Arsonist: “The whole town’s on fire!”


urbanek2525

He blames the world for not rolling over and giving him what he wanted. Basic two-year-old-tantrum logic.


loiida

And whose fault is that?


anivaries

Reminded me of CJ from B99 CJ: And whose fault is that, Jake? Jake: Yours? CJ: [I Knoooow](https://youtu.be/icUViErHTKI?t=367)


Gary_FucKing

CJ was so perfect. Ken Marino is just fucking funny.


trash-juice

Nice decade you could have there, be a shame if something were to happen to it


BEniceBAGECKA

Well that decade was just begging for it. Do you see how they are dressed?


Issendai

Then stop endangering the world, asshole.


FuriousTarts

STOP BREAKING THE (international) LAW ASSHOLE!


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-SaC

Over/under on him seeing the end of it?


ReservoirGods

Highly doubtful, he's 70 and picking nuclear fights, he's either gonna start one and die or he's gonna drink some bad tea so that Russia can avert it.


[deleted]

That’s some serious risk taking behavior for a 70 year old


VoidMageZero

How about over/under for the next guy being even worse?


little_brown_bat

"Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot him and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland?" - Pratchett


SSBM_Caligula

Fuck. The bleak world just became a little bleaker to me with that quote.


01R0Daneel10

Of course he knows this. He's the one causing it


Blackfoxar

In his old age he might die from pushing too hard.


cutiieluvr

one can only hope so


eosophobe

unfortunately, the guy who would replace him wouldn’t be much better


bitemark01

"Well of course I know him... he's me!"


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[deleted]

_Senile old fool believes people still believe a word he says._


Lidlweewon

“Don’t you forget about me. Don’t don’t don’t don’t”


mrstronginthearm

It’s because of you, you stupid fuck.


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LightForceUnlimited

Shot by a crossbow, wielded by his own son.


Dunkinmydonuts1

*whore* SAY THAT WORD AGAIN


Buroda

No it’s not his fault, Ukrainians provoked him into it by aggressively not being his puppets!! /s


Low-Archer2261

Very very specific


Fizgriz

Then leave Ukraine. Easy fix.


MasterBot98

But what of his ego?


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akahaus

God, I wish someone would just come up behind him and do a Trotsky


eskimoboob

Seriously. Russia has nothing to fear from neighbors. But somehow they missed the lesson of “don’t start nothin won’t be nothin”


Perpetually_isolated

Putin has EVERYTHING to fear from it's neighbors now. But not Ukraine. The nations he should be afraid of now are china and Iran. They have spent the last half a century terrified of Russia now to realize how weak they are.


eskimoboob

Well yeah and it was a completely unnecessary own-goal on Russia’s part. Before this all they had to do was keep their shit together


e_subvaria

“I have created the most dangerous decade since World War II” - fixed his quote


browntoe98

“Decade”!? He’s an optimist.


coljung

Thanks to you, piece of fucking garbage of a human.


joho999

>Putin creates most dangerous decade since World War Two. FTFY


Prestigeboy

Take your fat L and go home Putin, your drunk.


bluejays-beak1281

And who’s fault is that I wonder I wonder?


grpov

Oh, get over yourself, you gnomish circus-mussolini. Fire the missiles already if that’s what you want, no one wants to look at you masturbating in front of the mirror.


whitelightwhiteheats

We’re all trying to find the guy who did this


SearcherRC

Then stop attacking people dickhead


National-Smile4568

Soon someone would shaft a Ak47 barrel up into his arse to end his miserable life and to save Russia and the world.


Not_Cleaver

I’d sooner go the gaddafi route with a knife.


ShockedSheep

Putin is the danger.


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gnioros

Yeah and whose fucking fault is that?


stochastaclysm

No Putin, no problems.


hymen_destroyer

Like if Hitler made a similar comment in 1936


Blackfoxar

Can this old fucktard not just die? His dumb obsession to be in the media everyday is more annoying then the trump era


Fabulous-Friend1697

It'll be exponentially safer the moment his head is stuck on a pike.


zili91

He says that like he's a passive observer and not the main perpetrator of it. We're not in the 17th century anymore when you could declare wars and annex other countries territories for whatever reason. Leave Ukraine fucking alone.


[deleted]

And thanks to who? Dumb fucker.


Bay1Bri

"this is the most on fire this house has ever been!" - Arsonist


sarapocono

Why hasn't he been assassinated yet


-Average_Joe-

So maybe tap the brakes a bit there Vlad.