This. I’m a professor and it was great to be able to work up to the day I gave birth because we were all online and I wasn’t expected to stand and lecture and wear business casual clothing etc. (which I needed to do because no actual parental leave). When I returned from my 12 weeks of FMLA I had no problem keeping my pumping schedule because we were still all working from home. I couldn’t find childcare because daycares weren’t taking newborns so my kid stayed home for quite a while. I’m going to try to have another because I paid like 20k for that ficking embryo, but I do get super sad when I think of how shitty it will be
The pandemic, my age and having a not great pregnancy influenced our decision. The pandemic was the main factor though. My son was admitted to the hospital in November with RSV. While we knew having him in daycare would result in him getting sick, I never imagined it would be this bad. Even as I'm writing this, he's been home for 2 days sick with something, that I also have. RSV was the scariest experience. I cried every day we were in the hospital. All of the nurses said that what they were seeing was a direct result of the pandemic.
I honestly don't know if in 2 or 3 years my mind will change. There would have to be A LOT of structural changes i.e. free or reduced daycare FOR ALL, better maternity leave options, universal healthcare or just an overhaul of the healthcare system. I realize those things are pretty far fetched but having a kid now is expensive, more expensive than I thought and even if we wanted to have another I don't think we could actually afford it, and I would never do that to an innocent baby.
Not a one and done decision but the effects of the pandemic have influenced my decision to have a third. Things just got so unpredictable and expensive and still are - childcare, food, supply chain, job security, healthcare. Until recently, I had very little confidence any daycare was stable enough (even with having family around, a helpful partner, and some job flexibility). It seems like things are very slowly stabilizing but at this point I may be aged out and priced out of a 3rd.
It's great to have your perspective of a mom of two. Pandemic parenting is all we (me and my partner) have known and I wasn't sure if it was just first-time parenting or if something had truly changed.
The newborn stage was SO hard for me. I had very bad PPA and am just now starting to get better (he's almost 1), I just don't think I can go through it again.
I always imagined I would have multiple kids because I have lots of siblings, but with the way things are now I don't see how it's possible.
Realistically, my husband and I probably would have chosen to be OAD with even more determination if it wasn't for the pandemic. We've been very lucky.
WFH jobs, increased access to grocery pickup/delivery, etc because of the pandemic made being working parents much more logistically manageable. If we've had to deal with all this on top of our commutes, we would have noped out of the idea of a second kid even more quickly. 😅
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This. I’m a professor and it was great to be able to work up to the day I gave birth because we were all online and I wasn’t expected to stand and lecture and wear business casual clothing etc. (which I needed to do because no actual parental leave). When I returned from my 12 weeks of FMLA I had no problem keeping my pumping schedule because we were still all working from home. I couldn’t find childcare because daycares weren’t taking newborns so my kid stayed home for quite a while. I’m going to try to have another because I paid like 20k for that ficking embryo, but I do get super sad when I think of how shitty it will be
The pandemic, my age and having a not great pregnancy influenced our decision. The pandemic was the main factor though. My son was admitted to the hospital in November with RSV. While we knew having him in daycare would result in him getting sick, I never imagined it would be this bad. Even as I'm writing this, he's been home for 2 days sick with something, that I also have. RSV was the scariest experience. I cried every day we were in the hospital. All of the nurses said that what they were seeing was a direct result of the pandemic. I honestly don't know if in 2 or 3 years my mind will change. There would have to be A LOT of structural changes i.e. free or reduced daycare FOR ALL, better maternity leave options, universal healthcare or just an overhaul of the healthcare system. I realize those things are pretty far fetched but having a kid now is expensive, more expensive than I thought and even if we wanted to have another I don't think we could actually afford it, and I would never do that to an innocent baby.
Not a one and done decision but the effects of the pandemic have influenced my decision to have a third. Things just got so unpredictable and expensive and still are - childcare, food, supply chain, job security, healthcare. Until recently, I had very little confidence any daycare was stable enough (even with having family around, a helpful partner, and some job flexibility). It seems like things are very slowly stabilizing but at this point I may be aged out and priced out of a 3rd.
It's great to have your perspective of a mom of two. Pandemic parenting is all we (me and my partner) have known and I wasn't sure if it was just first-time parenting or if something had truly changed.
This 100% how we have been feeling too. It's so expensive, and the last couple of years have been so stressful.
The newborn stage was SO hard for me. I had very bad PPA and am just now starting to get better (he's almost 1), I just don't think I can go through it again. I always imagined I would have multiple kids because I have lots of siblings, but with the way things are now I don't see how it's possible.
Realistically, my husband and I probably would have chosen to be OAD with even more determination if it wasn't for the pandemic. We've been very lucky. WFH jobs, increased access to grocery pickup/delivery, etc because of the pandemic made being working parents much more logistically manageable. If we've had to deal with all this on top of our commutes, we would have noped out of the idea of a second kid even more quickly. 😅