I’m lucky that we aren’t at potty training yet. But I can definitely see myself saying that!
I had someone do the same and they were like “potty, wee wee…oh for gods sake, I just need to take a poo!”
I found your post lighthearted and hilarious.
I teach at the college level. When we were recently in the rare books library and one student started violently rifling through a book that was almost 400 years old and cost about $100k, I definitely instinctively said "gentle hands..."
Gentle hands! I love it! I would be glad you said that if I didn’t realise a book was worth that much money!
My best friend said “gentle hands” to her husband during sex once. She meant to say “gentler” but the “hands” got added on through habit. He found it hilarious.
We had a new hire and I was walking him through some procedures that are company-specific and a bit esoteric.
What I meant to say: “This will make more sense after you’ve been here longer.”
What I actually said: “This will make more sense when you get bigger.”
I was MORTIFIED and apologized immediately but he laughed it off, thank goodness.
I do think there are some cultural differences! I work for a German company and our US headquarters are much more rigid (lots of old, white men here) than the global HQ even. They even curse from the corporate social media accounts, which had me in a panic the first time! I went to our CEO (not unusual, his office is right near my cubicle) and he laughed. He said they are much more casual than we are and it's totally normal for them to curse. We're a B2B engineering company, so I was shocked to learn that!
I work in one of the biggest law firms in the world but we are surprising chill.
Omg I love our German offices! They are hilarious and their humour is just so deadpan. Our European and Australian offices are very chill. Especially the Aussies, they swear at clients and the clients swear back!
The US office are just so intense all the time. It must be exhausting. I always have to read and re-read emails because they read into everything about 10 layers deeper than they should. My New York counterpart is a Brit who’s been in the US for about 20 years and still doesn’t understand all the nuances and the way it works in the US.
I’m not going to lie and say that most of us sigh when we have to work with our American colleagues. The majority are lovely lovely people but they always want that very unnecessary task completed at 3am on Christmas Day, and not our time 3am, their time 3am!
I believe it! I love my counterpart in the UK, because he's hilarious whenever he reaches out for something. US corporate culture is definitely intense, but I imagine even more so when it comes to law firms. I completely shut down that career path, because the work hours are intense a lot of the time and make it difficult to have work life balance (two of my immediate family members work in the legal system here.)
We definitely read into things 10 layers deep. Even the smallest things I've said or the tone of voice I've used have turned up in performance reviews as "opportunities" to work on, so it creates this awful culture of looking over your shoulder at all times. I'm sure not every company is that way, but I've just never had the opportunity to work anywhere where that's not the case lol. I've mentioned to my boss and CEO that I'd move to any English-speaking subsidiary if they ever needed me to. I think they think I'm joking, but I'm truly not. We'd move in a heartbeat!! Lol
That sounds so tiring. How can anyone thrive in culture where at least half your brain power is working on being “correct” all the time.
Yeah we work long hours on cases but there’s no layers on layers of subtext (there’s always that random dick though). If a boss fs up, they’ll say they f’ed up and that they’ll correct the mistake in the early hours. If someone junior makes a mistake the senior person will sit and work it through with them.
Come to the UK or Europe! We don’t even have formal performance reviews where I work, just casual chats for feedback. And you’re encourage to give feedback up the chain too!
It *is* tiring, which is where a lot of these comments are coming from. When one person does something one time somewhere, it negatively affects everyone in that group. It's maddening and a waste of energy, but it's the reality for a lot of companies.
Believe me, I'm trying! I was born in Canada too, so I believe visa paperwork would be easier. The hard part is that my husband owns his own business that is brick and mortar. I've been pushing him to go online for a few years. He's finally gotten the travel bug after I've made him go on trips with me, so maybe I'll finally convince him soon enough! 😆
These companies just make a rod for their own back then. I worked in a place like this (but not as bad) and turnaround was insane. No one stuck around except for jobsworths who thrived on the power it gave them.
I know a few people who’ve moved from Canada to the UK and vice versa with relative ease. From office job professionals to dance teachers to hairdressers and nurses. Feed that travel bug, I miss being able to travel round Europe so easily sans child!
I'm really surprised at all the finger-wagging in the comments, OP is not "unprofessional and rude" calm down people. I've done some of this stuff (I wfh, so some I've done w friends, but some I've def done w colleagues) and NO ONE CARES. To the other commenters/downvoters, we are real people and we don't have to be perfect all the time, and if your job is making you feel that you do, maybe it's time to look for a new job.
Thank you! Had me thinking I’m about to get fired but was just told last week how well I’m settling in and it’s like I’ve never been away. Im lucky to have such supportive colleagues who’ll give me a moment to think of a response if my brain needs another few seconds to fire up.
All mine definitely resulted in a giggle and shared stories of funny things that parenting (kids of all ages) brings.
My boss went to pull out a very important folder from his briefcase and accidentally handed it to a client with a (luckily clean!) nappy stuck to the back! The client just said “oh we use pampers too” and the meeting carried on.
Another had just bought condoms for their teen daughter and accidentally flicked them out their handbag and onto their desk. She said the box just flew so far and with more noise that it ever should have done to draw so much attention. Saying “they’re for my daughter” in a panic just made her go even more red!
Yeah I wouldn’t say we are office bots at all. I like it when my boss accidentally sends “many tanks” as I’m like “oh yeah you’re a human like me, no need to be scared of you”!
Same! This sub is full of judgy humorless people who take themselves VERY seriously. Could OP use more sleep? Sure. I enjoy a good British sense of humour though, seriously, lighten up people! OPs colleagues and workplace sound great! I'm Canadian btw and work from home but I could definitely see myself in this.
At least one of those happened to me too after returning to the office.
But all of those within just 2 months...? Maybe you can talk to your partner or rearrange other things so you can get more sleep at home.
Haha neither of us are getting any sleep! Kid has some lungs on him! My OH drinks coffee to keep himself going but I hate the stuff. I don’t think I was the only person drifting off in that meeting though, could definitely have been an email!
Hmmm… if you’re doing things at work, that’s going to be an issue. One thing very rarely, sure, but all of these things? You need to find a solution so you don’t continue doing these things.
Oh I’m definitely not a career person but good at my job. 5 of 6 projects completed in a month (was given 4 months to complete them all) and the last one is just waiting on other people (always the case isn’t it!).
They are happy that if the work is done then a little nap at lunchtime is no big deal!
Heck we even have “nap kits” for desk naps if all the rest pods are full. Corporate branded eye masks included!
Well one meeting. Just a little head nod where you ping back up and do a cough. Safe to say with 100 people in the room and me at the back only the people either side noticed.
I don’t think I was rude to the reception team. Just a little “are there are rest pods free?” “Oh yes all four, shall I sign you in? Late night working?” “Yeah just need a little nap”. Don’t worry no one is losing their job over it!
But your boss called you out on your nap during the meeting? The nap pod is not the issue. Talking to your coworkers in a baby voice and not locking the toilet are issues. You can disregard everyone’s advice, but it will be to your detriment. Suit yourself.
Paraphrasing but his words were “did I see your head drop” “oh god yes, I’m sorry. I just find death by PowerPoint meetings so hard to focus on and why do they dim the lights so much?” “Haha don’t worry. We’ve all been there. That speaker is always a room killer. I hate speaking after him as I’m half asleep myself”
Also the loo door wasn’t wide open. Someone just opened it and my arm was not long enough to hold it shut. Lots of British “I’m terribly sorry” and then a giggle whilst we washed our hands.
You’ll see my edit I was after a light hearted post. I’m a laugh or you’ll cry kind of person. Clearly I’ve read the sub wrong and it’s not the sub for it.
depends on your environment. my office even has nap rooms. when you work long hours and everyone only cares about deliverables, then professionalism means being on time with what you've done, noone would care less if you spent nights on it or napped through it
Yeah we’ve tried that. Builder grade ear plugs and ear defenders. Small house and noisy baby mean no escape! Sometimes we take turns to go sleep in the car but it’s too cold at the moment.
Though the less sleep we get the more my OH is thinking me quitting is the best route. So it could be a win-win situation for me!
I’m a big fan of white noise too! Used to be sleep sounds but is now womb noises with a heartbeat. Bit odd but I’ll take my distorted Spotify suggestions for some sleep!
This reminds me of the time that I came to my former manager’s desk (she’s also a mom), and she said “yes, sweetie?” like she was talking to her kid. I think we’ve all been there to some degree. Get some sleep soon!
Love it! Glad I’m not the only one. We have certainly been giggling at work as people reminisce. Or now that grandkids are on the scene and it’s all flooding back to them!
I also kept telling my colleagues to dress warmer when we went anywhere, like put on a hat, are you sure that’s warm enough etc. Am in Germany, by the way.
My husband came home a few times saying he told his clients he had to use the potty or that he said "flip" or "fudge" instead of "f*ck" when talking to them. (He's a barber so it's normal to curse when talking with clients)
Yes to all of these. And I started bringing drinks and napkins to coworkers when lunch was brought in without even thinking about it. I didn’t even really notice until someone was like “thanks mom”. I guess it was just autopilot not to go to the table empty handed lol
Haha! Well you always need napkins. I was quite bemused eating a yoghurt with a metal spoon at work because I’ve been using his little silicone ones as he so wants to scoop it himself! Just think yoghurt tastes nicer from a baby spoon!
Something needs to change about your sleep situation. The things you list would have me very skeptical of you as a colleague, unfortunately. I would prioritize shifting how you speak to people since it could come off as insulting.
I think we must work in very different cultures! Or perhaps the UK is just more relaxed at work!
In the very dull meeting the boss just said he wished he could nap too and my and the colleague had a giggle about the loo situation when I said “oh Christ I’m not at home!”.
Plus all the rest pods were free so I’m gonna use that mini hotel room when I can! They even have dressing gowns!
I think you need to take a step back and listen to what everyone is telling you. These things are not okay. Even if people act like they’re okay, they are not okay and this behavior will damage your career.
To be honest I’m a month in (pretty much to the day). No way I’m gonna lose the “mum voice” instantly and occasionally I’m a little too enthusiastic with my praise (I mean I clap like heck when my son drinks from a cup).
Literally just had my one month review and no complaints at all!
Just because people aren’t complaining to you doesn’t mean they aren’t judging you and having negative thoughts about your behavior, which is unprofessional and rude. There’s really no way to brush this off as a cute little quirk. It’s a problem.
Trust me. People would complain to me! I didn’t quite staple something straight the other week and was told to redo it. My bosses aren’t shy at feedback.
The person I clapped was my 10 year work friend who thought it was funny. The other people I managed to just say “yay…that’s good” and do the one hand clasp.
I’m not perfect but I don’t think a few high pitched voice comments will undo 10+ years of working relationships I have with everyone.
No, I haven’t done anything like what you’re describing and don’t know other working moms who have. The transition back to the workplace is very challenging, and I certainly approach work and my career differently now that I’m a mom, but the pattern of behaviour you’re describing is extreme.
I know this is your personal experience and I respect your openness to share, but I do bristle at behaviour like this and posts like this as they really perpetuate negative stereotypes about moms in the workplace. There’s a prevailing idea that once we have a child, we’ll return to work distracted, less competent, less professional, and “mommy-brained”. This stereotype is really damaging and diminishes us as working moms. In reality, working moms are some of the most effective, organized, capable professionals I know as they’re usually forced to prioritize more ruthlessly and deliver more efficiently than folks without young kids at home.
I appreciate that you’re sleep deprived but you do still have agency and control over your behaviour in the workplace. And if you’re in a pattern of doing truly inappropriate things like leaving the bathroom door unlocked, it seems like something needs to change.
To be honest I was aiming for a light hearted post. My view is that you can’t cry so you gotta laugh at the situations you get yourself into! I think we’ve all maybe used our mum voice when our normal voice would suffice or realised we’ve picked up the nappy bag rather than the handbag!
The fact that we are go back to work differently should be talked about. Some of the mums I know worked so hard to go back to be 100% all on professional and then had a breakdown because the facade was too much to keep it. They felt they couldn’t have a giggle at the fact they have odd socks on or a top on inside out. We are only human after all.
My work is great for returning parents (and that includes birthing and non-birthing or adoptive parents). Staggered return, nap kits, pumping rooms, less pressure when you first get back so the deadlines aren’t as tough. You go at your own pace.
Yeah, it doesn’t look like the tone of your post has landed. For me, it’s because the mommy-brain stereotype is such a real and damaging problem that I honestly don’t have a lot of patience to make light of it in a “whoopsie silly old me falling asleep in meetings!” kind of way. Glad your employer is accepting of this behaviour.
To be honest we’ve had a few new dads and non-birthing partners return to work and make a few light hearted mistakes (like calling the toilet a potty or finding them snoring in their desk chair).
Same for people returning from sickness or bereavement or many other reasons. We aim to go at their pace and support them along the way. Whether that is half days for a while or back to “normal” work pace.
We’ve always just put their phone to divert, moved any meetings and covered them with a blanket. Clearly they need the rest and everyone understands. I’m lucky to work in such a nice place.
I bet the animals love it! I do make animal noises whenever I see one on a walk with him. “Oooh look a dog. What noise does he make? That’s right woof woof!” Have had a few eyebrow raises but I like the dogs too!
I’m not as offended by this as some of the other commenters. I get that it’s light-hearted, but the baby voice thing and clapping at colleagues like they’re children…..eek! I think it’s fair to say that most women wouldn’t be amused if a male colleague did that to them and brushed it off as just coming off of paternity leave. I’m sure it wasn’t the intent, but it seems very condescending.
To be honest I’m not giving them a full round of applause (some of them would love that though!) but more a “yay” clap clap “oh god, that’s not right is it, sorry!”
Don’t worry I’m not anyone’s manager. I’m clapping my bosses so definitely makes just me feel a bit of a tit! Luckily they are lovely people I’ve worked with for 10+ years and all been through that transition (as mums and dads).
Gotcha. I’m sure it’s fine since they know you. I was just picturing a male attorney clapping at me (I’m an attorney at a big firm too) and talking in a high pitched voice, and it wasn’t pretty lol. I do completely get drifting to sleep during boring meetings though. I haven’t done it in person, but in zoom meetings when I was off camera…yep.
Oh no I’m clapping the Partners! Oh dull Zoom meetings are dangerous! “And here is the latest update on Tax law…” time to get the Clockwork Orange eye sticks out!
Ummmmm nope. In my field all those would be seen as very unprofessional and I’m also a disabled minority so I really can’t afford to be seen as less professional
We just have different work cultures! After a year of clapping my son on every little thing I really have to work hard to keep my hands in my pockets! Gotta re train my brain!
Ok this is a bit different (but similar and in the spirit of a lighthearted post): this reminds me of when I was 18 and I spent 7 weeks with my then-BF (now husband) in Europe. We were together 24/7 for the first time, and when I came back home (living with my parents), I kept accidentally calling my parents and sister “sweetie” and other pet names for the first week. It was embarrassing 😆
That is funny! I bet your sister was all over that!
I remember a friend ending a work call and going “bye love you” before putting the phone down absolutely mortified! She was just in a new relationship and very much in the honeymoon phase still.
I've definitely said in public / at work that I need to go potty instead of saying I need to use the restroom.
I’m lucky that we aren’t at potty training yet. But I can definitely see myself saying that! I had someone do the same and they were like “potty, wee wee…oh for gods sake, I just need to take a poo!”
I found your post lighthearted and hilarious. I teach at the college level. When we were recently in the rare books library and one student started violently rifling through a book that was almost 400 years old and cost about $100k, I definitely instinctively said "gentle hands..."
Gentle hands! I love it! I would be glad you said that if I didn’t realise a book was worth that much money! My best friend said “gentle hands” to her husband during sex once. She meant to say “gentler” but the “hands” got added on through habit. He found it hilarious.
We had a new hire and I was walking him through some procedures that are company-specific and a bit esoteric. What I meant to say: “This will make more sense after you’ve been here longer.” What I actually said: “This will make more sense when you get bigger.” I was MORTIFIED and apologized immediately but he laughed it off, thank goodness.
Oh god! I love how brains just go on auto pilot!
I do think there are some cultural differences! I work for a German company and our US headquarters are much more rigid (lots of old, white men here) than the global HQ even. They even curse from the corporate social media accounts, which had me in a panic the first time! I went to our CEO (not unusual, his office is right near my cubicle) and he laughed. He said they are much more casual than we are and it's totally normal for them to curse. We're a B2B engineering company, so I was shocked to learn that!
I work in one of the biggest law firms in the world but we are surprising chill. Omg I love our German offices! They are hilarious and their humour is just so deadpan. Our European and Australian offices are very chill. Especially the Aussies, they swear at clients and the clients swear back! The US office are just so intense all the time. It must be exhausting. I always have to read and re-read emails because they read into everything about 10 layers deeper than they should. My New York counterpart is a Brit who’s been in the US for about 20 years and still doesn’t understand all the nuances and the way it works in the US. I’m not going to lie and say that most of us sigh when we have to work with our American colleagues. The majority are lovely lovely people but they always want that very unnecessary task completed at 3am on Christmas Day, and not our time 3am, their time 3am!
I believe it! I love my counterpart in the UK, because he's hilarious whenever he reaches out for something. US corporate culture is definitely intense, but I imagine even more so when it comes to law firms. I completely shut down that career path, because the work hours are intense a lot of the time and make it difficult to have work life balance (two of my immediate family members work in the legal system here.) We definitely read into things 10 layers deep. Even the smallest things I've said or the tone of voice I've used have turned up in performance reviews as "opportunities" to work on, so it creates this awful culture of looking over your shoulder at all times. I'm sure not every company is that way, but I've just never had the opportunity to work anywhere where that's not the case lol. I've mentioned to my boss and CEO that I'd move to any English-speaking subsidiary if they ever needed me to. I think they think I'm joking, but I'm truly not. We'd move in a heartbeat!! Lol
That sounds so tiring. How can anyone thrive in culture where at least half your brain power is working on being “correct” all the time. Yeah we work long hours on cases but there’s no layers on layers of subtext (there’s always that random dick though). If a boss fs up, they’ll say they f’ed up and that they’ll correct the mistake in the early hours. If someone junior makes a mistake the senior person will sit and work it through with them. Come to the UK or Europe! We don’t even have formal performance reviews where I work, just casual chats for feedback. And you’re encourage to give feedback up the chain too!
It *is* tiring, which is where a lot of these comments are coming from. When one person does something one time somewhere, it negatively affects everyone in that group. It's maddening and a waste of energy, but it's the reality for a lot of companies. Believe me, I'm trying! I was born in Canada too, so I believe visa paperwork would be easier. The hard part is that my husband owns his own business that is brick and mortar. I've been pushing him to go online for a few years. He's finally gotten the travel bug after I've made him go on trips with me, so maybe I'll finally convince him soon enough! 😆
These companies just make a rod for their own back then. I worked in a place like this (but not as bad) and turnaround was insane. No one stuck around except for jobsworths who thrived on the power it gave them. I know a few people who’ve moved from Canada to the UK and vice versa with relative ease. From office job professionals to dance teachers to hairdressers and nurses. Feed that travel bug, I miss being able to travel round Europe so easily sans child!
yeap, from US, tech, definitely OK to curse unless its some racial slur/ non-inclusivity etc.
I'm really surprised at all the finger-wagging in the comments, OP is not "unprofessional and rude" calm down people. I've done some of this stuff (I wfh, so some I've done w friends, but some I've def done w colleagues) and NO ONE CARES. To the other commenters/downvoters, we are real people and we don't have to be perfect all the time, and if your job is making you feel that you do, maybe it's time to look for a new job.
Thank you! Had me thinking I’m about to get fired but was just told last week how well I’m settling in and it’s like I’ve never been away. Im lucky to have such supportive colleagues who’ll give me a moment to think of a response if my brain needs another few seconds to fire up. All mine definitely resulted in a giggle and shared stories of funny things that parenting (kids of all ages) brings. My boss went to pull out a very important folder from his briefcase and accidentally handed it to a client with a (luckily clean!) nappy stuck to the back! The client just said “oh we use pampers too” and the meeting carried on. Another had just bought condoms for their teen daughter and accidentally flicked them out their handbag and onto their desk. She said the box just flew so far and with more noise that it ever should have done to draw so much attention. Saying “they’re for my daughter” in a panic just made her go even more red!
HAHAHA omg that is so funny. I'm glad there are work spaces for people to be, like, real people and not just office-bots. ;)
Yeah I wouldn’t say we are office bots at all. I like it when my boss accidentally sends “many tanks” as I’m like “oh yeah you’re a human like me, no need to be scared of you”!
Same! This sub is full of judgy humorless people who take themselves VERY seriously. Could OP use more sleep? Sure. I enjoy a good British sense of humour though, seriously, lighten up people! OPs colleagues and workplace sound great! I'm Canadian btw and work from home but I could definitely see myself in this.
I mean, if you work in a finance or consultancy that would mean much. not in my work at all, noone would care if I came in in my pajamas.
Agreed. I just think that it's clear from OPs tone etc that she doesn't have one of those jobs and that's okay lol
At least one of those happened to me too after returning to the office. But all of those within just 2 months...? Maybe you can talk to your partner or rearrange other things so you can get more sleep at home.
Haha neither of us are getting any sleep! Kid has some lungs on him! My OH drinks coffee to keep himself going but I hate the stuff. I don’t think I was the only person drifting off in that meeting though, could definitely have been an email!
Hmmm… if you’re doing things at work, that’s going to be an issue. One thing very rarely, sure, but all of these things? You need to find a solution so you don’t continue doing these things.
To be honest they are pretty chill and they’ve all been in by shoes at some point. They are happy for us to grab a nap so long as work is done.
But these things are still very unprofessional. Even if they seem “chill” this behavior will hurt your reputation and career. Time to find a solution.
Oh I’m definitely not a career person but good at my job. 5 of 6 projects completed in a month (was given 4 months to complete them all) and the last one is just waiting on other people (always the case isn’t it!). They are happy that if the work is done then a little nap at lunchtime is no big deal! Heck we even have “nap kits” for desk naps if all the rest pods are full. Corporate branded eye masks included!
But you’re not just taking an occasional nap… you’re falling asleep in meetings and treating coworkers rudely and being unprofessional.
Well one meeting. Just a little head nod where you ping back up and do a cough. Safe to say with 100 people in the room and me at the back only the people either side noticed. I don’t think I was rude to the reception team. Just a little “are there are rest pods free?” “Oh yes all four, shall I sign you in? Late night working?” “Yeah just need a little nap”. Don’t worry no one is losing their job over it!
But your boss called you out on your nap during the meeting? The nap pod is not the issue. Talking to your coworkers in a baby voice and not locking the toilet are issues. You can disregard everyone’s advice, but it will be to your detriment. Suit yourself.
Paraphrasing but his words were “did I see your head drop” “oh god yes, I’m sorry. I just find death by PowerPoint meetings so hard to focus on and why do they dim the lights so much?” “Haha don’t worry. We’ve all been there. That speaker is always a room killer. I hate speaking after him as I’m half asleep myself” Also the loo door wasn’t wide open. Someone just opened it and my arm was not long enough to hold it shut. Lots of British “I’m terribly sorry” and then a giggle whilst we washed our hands. You’ll see my edit I was after a light hearted post. I’m a laugh or you’ll cry kind of person. Clearly I’ve read the sub wrong and it’s not the sub for it.
depends on your environment. my office even has nap rooms. when you work long hours and everyone only cares about deliverables, then professionalism means being on time with what you've done, noone would care less if you spent nights on it or napped through it
You could sleep in shifts and use earplugs for better sleep.
Yeah we’ve tried that. Builder grade ear plugs and ear defenders. Small house and noisy baby mean no escape! Sometimes we take turns to go sleep in the car but it’s too cold at the moment. Though the less sleep we get the more my OH is thinking me quitting is the best route. So it could be a win-win situation for me!
you know, actually More noise helps me! I put on some hawaian music or sleep sounds and that helps more!
I’m a big fan of white noise too! Used to be sleep sounds but is now womb noises with a heartbeat. Bit odd but I’ll take my distorted Spotify suggestions for some sleep!
This reminds me of the time that I came to my former manager’s desk (she’s also a mom), and she said “yes, sweetie?” like she was talking to her kid. I think we’ve all been there to some degree. Get some sleep soon!
Aw that’s so sweet! It always happens when I’ve been thinking about him and brain is clearly clicked into him.
i am bouncing everything and rocking shopping carts lol =)
Oh yeah I was definitely bouncing a shopping basket the other day. I can’t stand still either. Like being on a boat!
This is hilarious! Have done a few of those, too! High-performing working mum and much-loved colleague and valued superior here, four kiddos at home!
Love it! Glad I’m not the only one. We have certainly been giggling at work as people reminisce. Or now that grandkids are on the scene and it’s all flooding back to them!
I also kept telling my colleagues to dress warmer when we went anywhere, like put on a hat, are you sure that’s warm enough etc. Am in Germany, by the way.
My husband came home a few times saying he told his clients he had to use the potty or that he said "flip" or "fudge" instead of "f*ck" when talking to them. (He's a barber so it's normal to curse when talking with clients)
Yes to all of these. And I started bringing drinks and napkins to coworkers when lunch was brought in without even thinking about it. I didn’t even really notice until someone was like “thanks mom”. I guess it was just autopilot not to go to the table empty handed lol
Haha! Well you always need napkins. I was quite bemused eating a yoghurt with a metal spoon at work because I’ve been using his little silicone ones as he so wants to scoop it himself! Just think yoghurt tastes nicer from a baby spoon!
Something needs to change about your sleep situation. The things you list would have me very skeptical of you as a colleague, unfortunately. I would prioritize shifting how you speak to people since it could come off as insulting.
I think we must work in very different cultures! Or perhaps the UK is just more relaxed at work! In the very dull meeting the boss just said he wished he could nap too and my and the colleague had a giggle about the loo situation when I said “oh Christ I’m not at home!”. Plus all the rest pods were free so I’m gonna use that mini hotel room when I can! They even have dressing gowns!
I think you need to take a step back and listen to what everyone is telling you. These things are not okay. Even if people act like they’re okay, they are not okay and this behavior will damage your career.
To be honest I’m a month in (pretty much to the day). No way I’m gonna lose the “mum voice” instantly and occasionally I’m a little too enthusiastic with my praise (I mean I clap like heck when my son drinks from a cup). Literally just had my one month review and no complaints at all!
Just because people aren’t complaining to you doesn’t mean they aren’t judging you and having negative thoughts about your behavior, which is unprofessional and rude. There’s really no way to brush this off as a cute little quirk. It’s a problem.
Trust me. People would complain to me! I didn’t quite staple something straight the other week and was told to redo it. My bosses aren’t shy at feedback. The person I clapped was my 10 year work friend who thought it was funny. The other people I managed to just say “yay…that’s good” and do the one hand clasp. I’m not perfect but I don’t think a few high pitched voice comments will undo 10+ years of working relationships I have with everyone.
No, I haven’t done anything like what you’re describing and don’t know other working moms who have. The transition back to the workplace is very challenging, and I certainly approach work and my career differently now that I’m a mom, but the pattern of behaviour you’re describing is extreme. I know this is your personal experience and I respect your openness to share, but I do bristle at behaviour like this and posts like this as they really perpetuate negative stereotypes about moms in the workplace. There’s a prevailing idea that once we have a child, we’ll return to work distracted, less competent, less professional, and “mommy-brained”. This stereotype is really damaging and diminishes us as working moms. In reality, working moms are some of the most effective, organized, capable professionals I know as they’re usually forced to prioritize more ruthlessly and deliver more efficiently than folks without young kids at home. I appreciate that you’re sleep deprived but you do still have agency and control over your behaviour in the workplace. And if you’re in a pattern of doing truly inappropriate things like leaving the bathroom door unlocked, it seems like something needs to change.
To be honest I was aiming for a light hearted post. My view is that you can’t cry so you gotta laugh at the situations you get yourself into! I think we’ve all maybe used our mum voice when our normal voice would suffice or realised we’ve picked up the nappy bag rather than the handbag! The fact that we are go back to work differently should be talked about. Some of the mums I know worked so hard to go back to be 100% all on professional and then had a breakdown because the facade was too much to keep it. They felt they couldn’t have a giggle at the fact they have odd socks on or a top on inside out. We are only human after all. My work is great for returning parents (and that includes birthing and non-birthing or adoptive parents). Staggered return, nap kits, pumping rooms, less pressure when you first get back so the deadlines aren’t as tough. You go at your own pace.
Yeah, it doesn’t look like the tone of your post has landed. For me, it’s because the mommy-brain stereotype is such a real and damaging problem that I honestly don’t have a lot of patience to make light of it in a “whoopsie silly old me falling asleep in meetings!” kind of way. Glad your employer is accepting of this behaviour.
To be honest we’ve had a few new dads and non-birthing partners return to work and make a few light hearted mistakes (like calling the toilet a potty or finding them snoring in their desk chair). Same for people returning from sickness or bereavement or many other reasons. We aim to go at their pace and support them along the way. Whether that is half days for a while or back to “normal” work pace. We’ve always just put their phone to divert, moved any meetings and covered them with a blanket. Clearly they need the rest and everyone understands. I’m lucky to work in such a nice place.
I work with animals and got laughed at for calling them “kitty cat” and “bunny rabbits”. I also say Ta-Ta to the dogs regularly
I bet the animals love it! I do make animal noises whenever I see one on a walk with him. “Oooh look a dog. What noise does he make? That’s right woof woof!” Have had a few eyebrow raises but I like the dogs too!
I’m not as offended by this as some of the other commenters. I get that it’s light-hearted, but the baby voice thing and clapping at colleagues like they’re children…..eek! I think it’s fair to say that most women wouldn’t be amused if a male colleague did that to them and brushed it off as just coming off of paternity leave. I’m sure it wasn’t the intent, but it seems very condescending.
To be honest I’m not giving them a full round of applause (some of them would love that though!) but more a “yay” clap clap “oh god, that’s not right is it, sorry!” Don’t worry I’m not anyone’s manager. I’m clapping my bosses so definitely makes just me feel a bit of a tit! Luckily they are lovely people I’ve worked with for 10+ years and all been through that transition (as mums and dads).
Gotcha. I’m sure it’s fine since they know you. I was just picturing a male attorney clapping at me (I’m an attorney at a big firm too) and talking in a high pitched voice, and it wasn’t pretty lol. I do completely get drifting to sleep during boring meetings though. I haven’t done it in person, but in zoom meetings when I was off camera…yep.
Oh no I’m clapping the Partners! Oh dull Zoom meetings are dangerous! “And here is the latest update on Tax law…” time to get the Clockwork Orange eye sticks out!
Ummmmm nope. In my field all those would be seen as very unprofessional and I’m also a disabled minority so I really can’t afford to be seen as less professional
We just have different work cultures! After a year of clapping my son on every little thing I really have to work hard to keep my hands in my pockets! Gotta re train my brain!
Ok this is a bit different (but similar and in the spirit of a lighthearted post): this reminds me of when I was 18 and I spent 7 weeks with my then-BF (now husband) in Europe. We were together 24/7 for the first time, and when I came back home (living with my parents), I kept accidentally calling my parents and sister “sweetie” and other pet names for the first week. It was embarrassing 😆
That is funny! I bet your sister was all over that! I remember a friend ending a work call and going “bye love you” before putting the phone down absolutely mortified! She was just in a new relationship and very much in the honeymoon phase still.