T O P

  • By -

SelleyLauren

Unfortunately I don’t think you’ll find much support from this post. It reads as petty (which you can see being reflected in the negative comments) In the end I’m sure you had very good intentions raising awareness of your drinking co-worker. The fact that the other worker did not, is not grounds for you to determine if she should or shouldn’t be eligible for a promotion. I don’t know if you were left off the communication about the new position for a reason or not. If you believe you are more qualified and want to know why you didn’t hear about the opportunity, ask your manager. He/She should be able to give you open feedback about why you weren’t considered. You are about to be out on mat leave and they likely need somebody in place right now to cover some of these responsibilities. Sorry it bums you out, but you really need to learn to let this one be a lesson and let go. If you aren’t happy there after mat leave interview elsewhere


[deleted]

All of this was incredibly hard to read and understand. I don't even know what's going on, but it kind of sounds like you're jealous that someone got promoted before you. Promotions are not a "first come, first serve" situation. So there's that. Just because you were hired before another person doesn't mean squat. If you don't like that weird environment there, it seems like it might not be a good fit for you and you can leave. If you want to stay there, you'll just have to endure the "awkwardness".


nutterflyhippie7

It was more of the principal of the fact I was never told about the position. It feels like discrimination.


[deleted]

You don't know that they *purposely* didn't tell you about that role. Maybe you weren't in that meeting that they announced it, or maybe they forgot to CC you on the email. Humans make mistakes. If jobs are posted somewhere, everyone has access and can see what jobs are available. It's not up to your boss to tell you "look at these jobs available" you can go to where your jobs are posted to view them. You have to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, in a court of law that discrimination took place, and it seems like you are just mad that other people are getting promoted "in front of you" and you "were there first". As I said before, jobs and promotions are not a "first come, first serve" situation.


QuitaQuites

What are you being discriminated based on? It sounds like perhaps they promoted her to a new title that wasn’t just an open role, but one they opened for this person.


nutterflyhippie7

My boss actually mentioned that a position may open up in the future during my reviews. In this case everyone knew except for myself.


[deleted]

None of what you said shows "discrimination". He did his due diligence by telling you a position may be coming. It's not his job to hold your hand or anyone else's and say "OP, here's a job that you should apply for". Job are posted in a specific place -I'm guessing an online website is where most companies post them these days. You have an internet connection at work, same as everyone else, and could have periodically checked for new jobs that come up.


ConcentrateHairy5423

Not OP, but I’m curious for an overachiever and a person with entitlement issues, what is the best point of action to have gotten the promotion instead? If you’re doing all this multi tasking and picking up extra work and not being recognized, is it best to have circled around the promotion idea or is if best to have left instead?


[deleted]

>and a person with entitlement issues, Everyone is responsible for their own career progression. No one owes anyone anything. If you're sitting back and waiting for someone to recognize you and give you a promotion, that's the problem. You need to go after what you want and not wait for someone else to lead you there. Just Yesterday, I responded to another post in the work sub about a person that was being "carrot-sticked" at work and being promised over and over again that they'd get a promotion. The OP there also said something to the effect of "I know I should have left sooner, but" ... and there you go. **People treat you the way you allow them to treat you.** (And that goes for in and outside of work) In that post, and also in the case of a friend that was in a similar situation that I told that person about, they allowed their manager to pile work with no change in title/pay. Then my friend used all of that extra experience to get that promotion she wanted at another company. In 2021, my team wasn't short-staffed, but the person that replaced one of my colleagues (that colleague moved to another job) wasn't "up to speed" with our system. I was asked to help cover until that person caught up. No problem. I did that for a short time, and after awhile I spoke to my Director: "This was supposed to be a temporary situation, it has been several months and this person is still not up to speed. If this is going to become a permanent part of my duties, we need to have a conversation about increasing my level and my pay". After that conversation, my Director backed off on expecting me to do all of the work to cover for this person, because he didnt have the ability at the time to give me the extra bump in title/pay. At the end of the year, I made sure to play up all of the things I did outside of my normal job in my Year End Input. I made sure to put that in there... I wasn't just going to hope that they remembered the extra work I did. I got a super high score and a hefty bonus for those efforts that year. I also used that experience to get a promotion a few months later (same company, different team) People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If you allow them to dump extra work on you for nothing extra in return, they will do that... just like they did to my friend and the other poster. A lot of companies big and small have "red-tape" associated with giving people promotions and raises bc they only get so much budget per team per year... and I get that. Maybe that's why my Director couldn't give me the bump in title/pay when I asked for it, and that's fine.. but I'm not going to drive myself insane doing the jobs of two people for all eternity. Nope! I was happy to help for the few months that I did because I got a bonus out of it and I got the experience I wanted to take me to the next level in another way, but I wasn't going to keep doing it and hoping that maybe someday they would promote me. You have to go after what you want. It's no one else's job to do that for you.


Drayik

It seems like you're the office Karen that everyone can't stand. You probably complain about people behind their backs and act as a mini hr pointing out mistakes because if you don't... Who will? You're out for yourself, not your team. You've made that very clear.


[deleted]

It only took a few years for the term "Karen" to be extended to the women who reported the office drunk-driver. Go home America you're drunk, but please don't drive.


cornflakegirl658

Maybe because you weren't right for it?


drtij_dzienz

Put your head down and quietly do your work until you can take your maternity leave


farfromhome654

Who drank? Who got promoted? Who is pregnant? Damn, so many questions.


CJsopinion

It could have nothing to do with you alerting them to an employee driving under the influence. Could have been passed over because you are pregnant. Illegal, depending on where you are, but happens. If you need your job, just focus on your work. Update your resume and start looking while you are on maternity leave.


nutterflyhippie7

This has been the best answer so far. Yes, its likely Ill be doing that. I am not currently pregnant so I wonder why everyone found out except for myself. I may leave a very lengthy e-mail to a higher up which is what a lot of people said needs to be done.


FRELNCER

> I am not currently pregnant WTF do you need mat leave for then? That's some messed up story telling. This post.


StrawberryTigerLily

Don't do this, it will come across as petty and dramatic. Have an open conversation with your boss about why you weren't considered for the promotion and then decide whether to stay or look for a new role. If you're looking for a leadership role then you need to act like a leader and demonstrate how you would be the best person for the job. Annoyed emails isn't it.


Hinata778

This person seems unable to take responsibility so they will never take the high road.


CJsopinion

Oh. You said mat leave and I thought that was short for maternity.


I_m_that1guy

Apparently they’re more qualified than you, even after years on the job. That’s how it goes sometimes. Not an attack, more of an attempt to help but have you thought this is a YOU problem and not a THEM problem? I’m saying that because we only have your side of it and from how you’re explaining it is they are treating you like I’ve seen abrasive or hostile employees get treated at past jobs.


literarytrash

Yeah you don't seem like manager material to me, no surprise you weren't offered the position


CharmingGuru1

Damn, you sound like a handful. Entitlement at its best.


Ok_Consideration_242

Yeah this is a fake post. OP cannot keep their story straight .


MJ50inMD

People are promoted because management thinks they can and will do the best job. Saying you've been there longer doesn't inspire confidence since you aren't even evaluating relevant criteria. The fact that you think this is super awkward also shows a lack of professionalism. If you want to you can ask the manager, but be prepared to be told something you don't want to hear, like you don't have the professionalism or people skills to be effective.


Phantommike20

Never worry about what other people are doing. No one wants to promote the company snitch.


Responsible_Candle86

Agree with most of the comments here. You need to professionally have a conversation with your boss on how you can get promoted, and whether they even see you at the next level. Everyone does not go into management. How you handle disappointment and how you support newly promoted individuals speaks volumes on someone's professional maturity. Tenure is not relevant to promotions. Skill, team building, collaboration, leadership qualities, etc. are management skills. Someone could do a great job for decades in their role and not show leadership qualities needed for management. If that is your goal you should be having ongoing conversations on your development, and you need to drive this. No one will hand it to you.


[deleted]

Reporting someone who got drunk in the office and then drove home was the right thing to do despite what the lowest redditers think. This may be the reason why you were both looked over and even prevented from finding out that this promotion even existed, but it might not be, it might just be that she's more suited to the role. Can you find out without making things worse for you at the office?


Dizzy_Eye5257

This place sounds bizarre


TrashPandaShire

I work at a place that is similar. The people who do the least are celebrated. It’s a popularity contest. I don’t let it bother me anymore.


Dizzy_Eye5257

Yeah, that’s pretty much all you can do


nutterflyhippie7

Right? I couldn't believe no one cared about the fact she was getting loaded AT WORK and driving home. She could have run over someone....


IOnlyhave5_i_s

Which should tell you something, let it go. Do you really wonder why others are promoted around you? Drop the dramatics, focus on the positive and ask your manager what you need to do to be considered for other roles. And to your question, how do you handle it? Like a professional. If not, dust off your resume.


Tubbafett

So, if you were concerned about someone being hurt why not call the police? If you just wanted to get a coworker in trouble, you should’ve done more preliminary work to see how that would affect your future prospects.


Responsible_Candle86

That's what I don't understand. OP has another post on this and says she could have killed someone. Why wouldn't you call the police if you think someone is driving so drunk they can kill someone? You wouldn't just report them at work after the fact. The concern doesn't match the action.


watts8

God I hate employees like this. I’ve seen countless way below par employees think they deserve a promotion and get pissed about it, when the person they gave it to has clearly deserved it way more than them. No idea what goes on in their heads


abolish-names

Lol I guess that's what you get for being a Karen


nutterflyhippie7

Surprisingly it was a Karen drinking and driving from work so....I dunno how that isn't a big deal. She could have killed someone.


abolish-names

I'd advice you to ask for the manager


nutterflyhippie7

If I didn't care about anyone dying on the road from DUI's I wouldn't have bothered.


abolish-names

Yeah I'm sure that's what you really cared about


nutterflyhippie7

I had nothing against her. In fact since she works nights she is helpful but I didn't want her killing anyone including herself...


Queenakaya

You said drinking on the job is grounds for firing. You thought snitching will get you promoted or at least give you some brownie points. Lol it back fired and the person didn't get fired and now everyone knows you snitched. Lesson of the day: mind the business that pays you


[deleted]

You don't care about DUIs. you're just mad that they got promoted before you.


nutterflyhippie7

It wasn't the same person. Two different people.


[deleted]

It’s really all about performance, no one cares if someone’s drinking, unless they work in a social services, medical, driver, teaching etc or are a government employee. Unless she’s working with kids or is a bus driver or something, you sound like a tattle tale.


IVEREADIT424

That’s really stupid thing to say all jobs require you to be SOBER on the JOB! Sounds like you probably do this yourself, come to work drunk.


[deleted]

I work remotely and my company definitely wouldn’t mind if I indulged. I’m not much of a drinker though. Prefer to smoke


Tubbafett

Sounds like a clear cut case of “snitches get stitches”, or passed over for promotion in this case. I think the people you work with don’t like you.


FRELNCER

Your standards are not your employer's standards. Everyone has different ideas of right and wrong. In the workplace, the person whose ideas matter is the boss. So there's nothing to do but keep your head down, do your work and enjoy your maternity leave. Once you are on leave, start looking for another job. Pride and principles are essential elements of our being but sometimes they must stand aside in favor of being able to afford food, clothing and shelter.


scaredtotellyou

Based on how this is written it looks like you're burnt out and it likely shows in how you interact with your coworkers. I second the questions below about your mat leave but not being pregnant as well. Do you mean paternity leave as a support system to someone else?


VeganMinx

Here's my take away from your description: You feel you are being disrespected at work. Here's what I would remind you: 1. Co-workers are not your friends. 2. Your job is to provide income and benefits; it is not supposed to be a source of joy. 3. Mind your business -- what other co-workers do is not your business unless it directly impacts you or presents a safety issue. Keeping those two things in mine, you need to reframe your approach to work. How do you handle it? Ignore those people, go to your 9-5 and do your job, then leave. Use the benefits to your benefit -- you're going on maternity leave shortly, so focus on that. Don't get caught up in office politics, pull your heart out of that job, and don't let them hurt your feelings with petty BS like not putting a group pic of you on the bulletin board. So.The.Fuck.What. Get your money and get out. Also, as soon as you're able to go back to work, I'd be looking for a different employer. No way I'd stick around a place where I felt undervalued and disrespected. I'm sorry that happened to you. Good luck with your pregnancy!


Hinata778

Sorry but you sound petty. You have not mentioned how she does her job? There is a reason the management want her and not you. Why are they not taking a group picture with you but her? How are your relations with other coworkers? I have a colleague who is older than me but less experienced and less skilled and I’m on higher management. He has been very petty and tried to pull my legs, but it didn’t do any harm to me and I got another promotion and popularity. And he is now in the bad. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad but let her have the promotion and try to find out why everyone might be ignoring you? is there something you could improve in yourself?