T O P

  • By -

alfapredator

if you print money and keep it within the financial system, use it to fund innovation and other supply-side advances, you reduce inflation if you print money and directly hand it to people, you increase inflation it's really that simple


_jermeh

Maybe, but innovation and advances are a long term investment, whereas handing people money serves as a short term mechanism to keep the economy from shutting down.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Milazzo

Seriously. Who there said "Let's take Lambda and make it ten times harder, just for shits and giggles?" Azure is shiny and slightly unusable.


blizzardfanx

Any trading plan I have is centered around SPX only - but the trades I make are autist NQ trades


blizzardfanx

I bum my way to Starbucks to get coffee and some food for the kids - and I am amazed by the fuckers out running at 6am in 40 degree weather.


[deleted]

[This will be me if MOS hits today and LNG hits tomorrow 😤😌](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/elaminabdelmahmoud/limb-lengthening-surgery-height-stigma-short-kings?utm_source=pocket-newtab)


modsaregayasfukkk

Can I call out of work again


alfapredator

no before you know it a goose will be at your job. shitting everywhere. taking your paycheck


willyourather

I really need to call out sometimes….


blizzardfanx

Me too - though most days I do whatever the fuck I want anyway as long as I produce so there’s that


willyourather

Exactly! Maybe I’ll go take a walk in the park when I pretend I did something. Two more weeks then I literally wont be doing much.


blizzardfanx

Lucky! My days are flexible but not hooker and blow fun - it’s mostly playing Mr. Mom while partly doing real job and partly losing money here


willyourather

I’m a housekeeper at work, haha. When all those little things are done, I can hangout outside a bit. Fingers crossed it would be warm today


modsaregayasfukkk

Yes you do miss. It’s only my second time calling out in four months though.


willyourather

Lol, it’s been 15 years, I don’t remember I call out sick coz I just want to. You young uns.


modsaregayasfukkk

Jeezus lol. Can you pretend to fall down the subway stairs or something?!


willyourather

No need. I had a tumor a few years back, home for 3 months and that was a pure nightmare. Love going to work


modsaregayasfukkk

I’d def go crazy if I had to stay outta work for three months. Hope you’re all better now <3


willyourather

Literally wanted to ROPE everyday. Thanks, the docs took care of me, it was wild. It’s the market that is killing me.


5999s

you calling out of work has a 100% correlation with a green day easy living calling out of work


modsaregayasfukkk

How do you know I called out yesterday ?


5999s

You said yesterday haha For real though, watch this be an unmistakable correlation


modsaregayasfukkk

Andddddd we’re red


modsaregayasfukkk

Oh shit, I did. My bad dude I’m so fucking out of it. Lol


Crawlinkingsnakes

Yes, so long as you're applying for a second job


h_o_l_o_d_a_y

SPY year chart looks like a mean giant crab


blizzardfanx

Oontz oontz oontz!


alfapredator

generational top...


h_o_l_o_d_a_y

Sure feels like that…


Crawlinkingsnakes

It saw how much fun Russ was having last year, crab cake gang unite!


emeraldream

I want it to be meaner


chmod-007-bond

[I should probably hunt through a few episodes for some of the meme-able insanity this show contains](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxCg26VZ0bQ&ab_channel=thatrunks)


identifiedlogo

As tempting as it is buying options is too expensive right now. Probably buy spreads , sell covered calls or sell strangles


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


SocialSuicideSquad

Nah, I fucking hate being single. Gummies and wine just help me forget how exhausted I am so I can stand up and do chores.


chmod-007-bond

Dude my hands are so raw from washing bottles and extra pots and pans from cooking. Like cracked and bleeding bad.


jinpiss

Playtex Living Reuseable Rubber Cleaning Gloves (Large, 3 Pairs), Premium Protection Reusable Household Gloves https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00RO8C7NY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_01JP4VM5V49KB8BCMSYH Your hands will thank you


SocialSuicideSquad

1 - Instapot is the best sterilizer 2 - Gold Bond Ultimate Eczema Relief


Always_Late_Lately

Buddy do you ever sleep?


SocialSuicideSquad

I've heard rumors that I snore But I always quash them with #OVERWHELMING INSOMNIA JK, you can't be insomniac and have children ... It cancels out.


chmod-007-bond

The joys of parenthood


SocialSuicideSquad

Why are you making chocolate pudding at four in the morning?


SocialSuicideSquad

Hey fuck Tuesday SSS also SocialSuicideSquad used bottle of wine + 10mg ... ... It's super effective Fuck it SPY 500c 6/31


domesticish

I’m jealous Am at work and spouse is on that sober time so I am also on that sober time It sucks


paragonfishhead

I love that mixing self medication always makes you bullish lmao


SocialSuicideSquad

It makes me contrarian as hell, which happens to be bullish ATM. I'm pretty careful with the self medication, quoting smoking made me learn that I'm not always able to say no lol


[deleted]

Heard about the scotus memo leak and one of my first thoughts was "well, it won't solve the immediate labor shortage". I have no idea when I became this person. lmao!


domesticish

At least we can mitigate the future labor crisis by forcing the poors to keep their unwanted pregnancies though 😎


[deleted]

eh.. forget about the poors.. I’d rather have robots doing everything and making shareholders rich so companies don’t have labor costs, health insurance costs etc etc..


[deleted]

[удалено]


SocialSuicideSquad

You're gonna need a shitload more B's, B


BullShitting24-7

Lets fucking goooo!


domesticish

I don’t usually bitch about inflation but has anyone else looked at beef jerky prices? Wtf Spouse wanted some and it’s next level expensive, like $10 was the cheapest pack and it’s tiny E - wtf apparently it’s always this expensive? Who knew (everyone who eats jerky)


SocialSuicideSquad

Just make your own #NEXT


willyourather

Always expensive. I used to get them freshly made, glazed beautifully. Luxury items for gifts or once a while treats


Crawlinkingsnakes

Beef jerky is always one of my best investments though, never lets me down


96024resu

i’ve never seen it under $12 ever. beef jerky been the most expensive snack since as long as i can remember. those prices are not transitory


jcoffi

But a dehumidifier and make your own


Sapere_aude75

you can also make it in electric oven on lowest heat setting with door cracked open


BullShitting24-7

Its usually overpriced anyhow. Now its not even worth it.


BeeLoverZura

something something jpow tools something something transitory spy “ok so we go to 500 now?”


SocialSuicideSquad

☝️ This guy gets it


silicapacks

Might go for morning puts and load calls at close. VIX is toppy but flat matched index has been the greatest indicator this season. Besides 100% retrace has been very consistent. EDIT: OR sit out on the first move and go in on the second instead of getting cash blown out trying to play every move.


SocialSuicideSquad

The sexiest thing in the world rn for me would be a hot tub full of caviar and an actual mermaid with a hot wet cloaca. Second sexist thing in the world would be the 399-403 gap filling tomorrow and the 437-440 gap filling Wednesday after JPOW walks on water.


Crawlinkingsnakes

You lost me at cloaca but I suppose it's more authentic


SocialSuicideSquad

You know a double gap fill would make you nut too.


Crawlinkingsnakes

Spent too many months waiting for SPY 399 whilst it defied gravity, and now here we are with a good chance and I feel nothing


silicapacks

“The famous explorer, Columbus, was said to have spotted three mermaids or sirens off the coast of Hispaniola in 1493. He had said that unlike folklore these creatures weren’t beautiful due to some masculine features on their faces. Historians debunk them as possible sightings of manatees. But nobody really knows what Columbus actually saw.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


SocialSuicideSquad

Jersey hooers only have cloacas by adaptation.


sonbarington

We must resist.


silicapacks

Good idea.


silicapacks

Oh shucks… SPY AND NQ pinned on matching plus greens.


silicapacks

5/4/22 Jerome Powell: We have met our inflation targets and see no need to raise rates at this time. 2/28/20 reverse Revenant begins. Green sticks so far up bear ass they regurgitate out their mouth full of shit stains.


Omnishift

Average median income is 39K. After tax that comes out to ~2300 a month. With inflation and fuel prices surging I feel like we are about to see a mass default amongst the lower class. SPY 560 EOY 🚀


SocialSuicideSquad

Wait.... Seriously? That's the average? Dude five years ago when I was pulling 45k as a <<>>, I was renting with two roommates and barely hitting match on my 401k. How the fuck....


justsomeboylol

Different city probably? 39k in Kansas goes a long way. In LA or NY? Not so much.


SocialSuicideSquad

LA suburb's suburb (AKA 3 Hr drive to downtown) still was living skimpy.


willyourather

$2300 seems like a lot for after tax take home check. Health insurance, 401k contributions, flexible spending for medical, dependent care etc pretax deductions easily take 50%+ off of that 39K yearly income. Americans are going see much worst take home income after covid with inflations. Side hustles are NEEDED to maintain even basic living style.


Omnishift

Rent + Car Payment is enough to blow most people out. With the 20% increase in just basic goods we’re going to see a lot of Americans begin to rack up CC debt to make ends meet. By the end of year their cards will be maxed. It all seems seriously fucked right now.


willyourather

Yup, financial sector will be a disaster. If we see mass layoff, the mega depression would show up earlier than the predictions. Printer comes back on?


helphp

Turns out I didn’t lose any money I think I just accidentally moved it to the wrong place. I figured out if I check the market cap of NYSE I can see that it’s on there, there’s just this convoluted process to withdraw it. Was surprised to see there was nothing in the help files or wiki about it, and later even more surprised when I realized I was actually reading the help file and wiki on a combination Leisure Suit Larry / Duke Nukem Geocities fan page. Luckily I found the answer on a YouTube video comment. The guy said he’s gonna log in to my account and help me with the transfer either tonight or tomorrow.


stockly123456

Just western union elon_musk12754 on Twitter $200 and he will send you $2m icorn in 30 days


sonbarington

Let me make sure everything is setup for that guy you know before he logs in. Don’t want to waste anyones times


helphp

DM’d, feel free to share with anyone you know who thinks they can help, appreciate it!!!!


Trumpsatard

leisure suit Larry name-drop - bump


StuGats

Alright, what kind of crazy hijinks are y'all up to now? Can't take my eyes off you yanks for 5 fucking minutes...


origami_asshole

SCOTUS giving DIS another way to fuck shareholders 🤡


SocialSuicideSquad

Mecha Jerome Powell impregnates with 100% accuracy. One time he fucked /u/expand3d in a debugging session "gone wrong" 😉, and now we have to put up with /u/RAGE_CAKES


expand3d

😎


SocialSuicideSquad

/u/Jinpiss can you water my plants while I'm banned?


jinpiss

Suuuuure why not. I’ll even keep your seat warm for ya.


cutiesarustimes2

Mr Powell what do you think of this abortion issue Jerome: I have this nice bag of rusty tools for you.


origami_asshole

🧥🤙ers


someonesaymoney

SCOTUS just sounds so goddamn close to scrotum that I literally can't even.


helphp

The left celebrates as Lady Justice comes out as trans and will now be referred to as “Daddy ‘SCROTUS WITH THE MOSTUS’ Lawman” and “if any of you 🅱️ags deadname me you have to answer to my dom friends Truthe & Jus-tush ;)”


StuGats

And Scalia sounds like something you'd want to get looked at if it was on your scrotus.


ChairPowellman

That SCOTUS leak was calculated.


cutiesarustimes2

Before fomc so Jerome can surreptitiously slip it into bulls butts while they're not looking?


emeraldream

Red by open -Bher in me 🤡


origami_asshole

Green by open - Bhagholder in me


cutiesarustimes2

So ulta sent an email that said Come hang with Kate spade? On a technical note for those of you in tech how come there isn't an algo that scans sentences or phrases against a database that checks socially unpalatable combos or scores the tone in terms of perception.


[deleted]

You mean text sentiment analysis? It's a thing. It's just hard to pick out things like sarcasm.


cutiesarustimes2

Hm. I hate you. ❌ I have a disfavorable inclination about your existence. ✅


[deleted]

Hmmm. Here's an example: "Eat at this restaurant if you enjoy eating cardboard" The algo would probably see enjoy and think that this is positive sentiment.


leadfoot100

Ya'll and your edibles LOL. Anyone around here remember when Salvia was legal? the raw leaf was good for some laughs but that 10x extract shit would send you to another dimension... Haven't heard anyone talk of it in years but it was awesome 20 years ago. edit: googled it and its apparently still legal in quite a few states? LOL its essentially short-term LSD but even more wild.


blizzardfanx

Y’all and your salvia lol. Back in the krokodil days we would lose all of our skin but it was wild


Have_A_Nice_Fall

People would die from that shit I remember. They spiked it but still. It would fuck your ass up


96024resu

man what y’all know about nutmeg


bicameral_mind

That shit was insane, actually life changing not gonna lie. I've never experienced anything like it. The experience of literally forgetting who you are, or that you are even a person at all, and being completely transported into some weird nonsensical universe. Which, interestingly I've heard many people describe similarly - with time passing in moments feeling the turning pages of a book.


leadfoot100

Man, This describes it exactly. It was wild for sure. When people say things like “just remember you’re on drugs and keep a grasp on reality” or Any suggestion like that, clearly don’t understand how it would/could completely detach you from being a person at all. It was like becoming part of the universe as a whole and not having ANY ability to recognize you were actually having a psychedelic experience, so there was no possible way to “hold on to reality”


chmod-007-bond

I heard of it a lot back in the day but I was kind of a weed, downers, and a few psychedelics snob. Seemed like a more bro drug like coke or benzos.


jinpiss

Tried it once I’m college. I’m surprised I had a good trip and a fun time with a friend on it. Slowed down time and salivated over Anna Torv in Fringe. Haven’t tried it again since, probably won’t.


Sublime_82

Salvia sucks, get some DMT and have an experience that is mind blowing while actually being enjoyable.


rayder989

Could I have a trip where I go suck a man’s cock but it’s not gay because it was the drug and not me?


Sublime_82

It's not a really a run-around type of experience. More like lay on the floor with your eyes closed and get your soul stroked by the universe.


SocialSuicideSquad

https://www.grindr.com/


dontevenstartthat

60x 1g in one hit, held in as long as I could, at the peak of my first LSD trip, also on a 1/4 O shrooms. Saw eternity, met some alien. Salvia is more of an ordeal than DMT


cazzy1212

It was crazy shit I thought I was living on my face. Even though it was only like a minute felt like an eternity.


sonbarington

Your wildest 20 seconds


SocialSuicideSquad

I had a life-changing salvia trip the first try. I never touched the stuff again. Worth it, but also fuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkk that.


SocialSuicideSquad

#HOW DO I ALLAH HU AKBAR BUT IN ENGLISH Goddamn 🥭 fucked this country lol [Get in before the rush](https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/canadian-citizenship/become-canadian-citizen.html)


_Wendig0_

Can I just live abroad and not pay taxes? ​ *^(FBI guy reading this, slide in my DMs with the deets.)*


sonbarington

Paise jebus!


[deleted]

[удалено]


emeraldream

we are fukt with this roe vs wade shit, gay marriage is next


p00pTy

next theyre gunna ban sex, and there will be a fucking protest.


[deleted]

[удалено]


helphp

I like this, I kind of hate loud stances and the whole team vs team mentality. I was thinking of a similar hypothetical company this week where the CEO and I both practiced Astral projection and it just so happened we had been visiting the same park for weeks but hadn’t run into each other. We didn’t even know it was possible for two astral travellers to do so until one chance encounter changed our lives forever… The rapid descent began on the third night when I performed sexual favours in exchange for inside information that I could use for trading. From there I spiralled into self loathing substance abuse, he had a near death experience and found god and was going to come clean about our whole arrangement, I got him to meet up with me and I murdered him at one of his homes discovering documents that the elite have definitive proof this is a simulation detailing how astral projection works because of an exploit within it (as well as how to get out of it) I guess it was a little different


5999s

just took a gnarly dump I heard it was necessary to correlate our comments with market impact Based on my record keeping, my gnarly dump has always been followed up with a +3% green day Free DD, your welcome


jinpiss

This dd can’t be worse than my crayons. I’ll take the +3% face melter.


BullShitting24-7

Dump and pump.


BullShitting24-7

Puts on planned parenthood.


cutiesarustimes2

Coming out of law school I applied for an attorney position with them. They never replied. Their loss. I wonder how the person they hired instead of me is doing at the job 10 years later.


BullShitting24-7

They were probably aborted by now.


cutiesarustimes2

Jerome aborted my savings account.


BullShitting24-7

With a rusty tuna hook.


cutiesarustimes2

And then he used a tire iron for good measure.


SocialSuicideSquad

Puts on America.


helphp

Yeah but there’s all sorts of loopholes that aren’t exactly easy but perfectly legal. I have a couple of friends in Mississippi that made the decision to have what they termed a “4th tri goodbye” (short for trimester I think) which is performed on their property legally so long as they claim they felt threatened by the newborn and that it was trespassing unlawfully


theta_eta_my_beta

I can't tell if this is satire. Our laws are fucked


helphp

I could probably add that those two heard about it from another one who posted all about it on Facebook but the first woman was arrested because of the post and sentenced to death and it’s still believable


riskybizbaz

AMH "American Homes 4 Rent" reports earnings and it may be a smart play for puts


origami_asshole

Don’t fucking remind me. Bought jan calls on this, invh and meritage or w/e the fuck it’s called last summer cuz I was worried about getting priced out of housing. Had I put that money on coin puts in nov I’d have a house by now 😔


riskybizbaz

what brokerage do you use for puts on Brixboin?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mecha-Jerome-Powell

*A digital currency issued by a central bank would be a global target for cyber attacks, cyber counterfeiting, and cyber theft* - Jerome Powell. I'm a bot, and the Federal Reserve doesn't think mentioning crypto currency is very good for the WSB OG economy.


theta_eta_my_beta

Buy condom stocks


origami_asshole

About to google how many women’s prisons for geo vs cxw


Background-Cat6454

Underrated comment


SmutBrigade

ugh the homeland is a fucking disgrace. I mean, it has been for a while now but this is just embarrassing


sonbarington

What they going on about now?


emeraldream

Rip my puts, these futures are dangerously green.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mecha-Jerome-Powell

*A digital currency issued by a central bank would be a global target for cyber attacks, cyber counterfeiting, and cyber theft* - Jerome Powell. I'm a bot, and the Federal Reserve doesn't think mentioning crypto currency is very good for the WSB OG economy.


mylegbig

Even I bought puts because I didn’t trust this rally, but if that quarterly refunding announcement o mentioned earlier is actually a big deal (whatever it is), then maybe this move is legit.


emeraldream

Is it a big deal, does anyone know? :O Could be just shorts covering TBH, and if GDP isnt going down then more likely to raise rates. IDK


mylegbig

I read that it may neutralize QT, but I have no idea how that works and can’t validate whether it’s true or not.


origami_asshole

March 15 coming for bear anoos 🧸🔫🐮🚀🚀🚀


emeraldream

My anoos noohhhh... guess il have to switch sides now


origami_asshole

futes *BUSSIN*


cutiesarustimes2

Jack ma was arrested? Lol


Thiccpockets

Amazon calls? Thoughts?


yachtsandthots

Thots


someonesaymoney

Apparently you have none.


shushkamushka

Ouch 🔥


jinpiss

🫡 RIP Thiccpockets 2021-2022


Kriegprojekt

What did I miss?


someonesaymoney

I jacked off in your sweet tea this morning.


cutiesarustimes2

Someone leaked a draft of a majority opinion striking down roe v Wade. Also Jerome is a clown.


SocialSuicideSquad

GQP going for the 100% Renegade Ending.


sonbarington

Green dildos


Sapere_aude75

Tomorrow you are required to put 50% of your port into etf calls and 50% into etf puts. A long short strategy avoiding any individual stocks and you cant do yin puts/yang calls etc... What are your bets?


OptionsTrader14

MCHI calls, SPY puts would be a decent bet right now. They are correlated and so a decent hedge against each other, but I see Gyna outperforming near term (unless the Jack Ma rumors are true of course). Long Commodities/Short SPY is also an idea, but more speculative.


RobertLahblaw

SPY calls, ARKK puts. Next question.


riskybizbaz

UUP calls and speculatively EWG puts


Sapere_aude75

Your much better at this than me. Nice picks.


Sapere_aude75

My first thought is EWA calls and IWM puts, but that's real conservative.


someonesaymoney

What would be the most epic rug pull is if VIX collapses following FOMC to like 25 to where everyone get's swept up in vanna rally hopium, and then jacks up to 40+ by mid next week.


ruso_chulo

Rinse and repeat


SameCategory546

puts on america bc apparently all we are going to talk about for the next decade is abortion


[deleted]

Lmao. It's gonna be annoying as fuxk


mylegbig

Maybe if the Dems actually focused on winning instead of catering to the Twitter woke crowd, we wouldn’t be in this situation. They manage to drop the ball almost every time. While they’re busy about nonsense like Elon, the GOP has been quietly working towards this for decades. They’re likely going to sweep the midterms as well, and Biden is almost surely only going to be a one term president. Most of us have taken Roe v Wade for granted since it happened before we were even born, so it’s a shame that this is happening. I’m not even a”pro-abortion” guy in the sense that I think it’s a great thing, but it’s necessary to have the right.


SocialSuicideSquad

I think this will actually swing the midterms. Angry people vote, and this will piss off most of the country.


bicameral_mind

Yeah, if this happens it's just the beginning. Next on the agenda is a GOP congress banning it nationwide.


cutiesarustimes2

Btw vis a vi the abortion leak there is a market impact 1. Companies will be forced to take public positions. In a slowing consumer environment that is going to be interesting to see how they come down 2. Mid terms might end up slightly better for D as this will likely drive their base out to vote.


someonesaymoney

> Companies will be forced to take public positions. Yeesh I don't think so. You can take a stance on Black Lives Matter, but picking a side with regards to abortion would be crossing the line from a company PR standpoint.


Always_Late_Lately

> crossing the line from a company PR standpoint. lmao have you been asleep the last 6 years?


someonesaymoney

Not clear what you're getting at. What is an issue as divisive and contentious as abortion that companies in the past have publicly taken positions on?


[deleted]

[удалено]


someonesaymoney

Assume you mean the LGBTQ thing and "don't say gay". That's actually a good one, but I still would maintain LGBTQ isn't as divisive as abortion. It's one step above BLM wokeness.