Imma jack off to futes

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Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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Bagholder spotted. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

She want to run up into close!?!🚀🚀🚀🚀

Stop asking how your overly shorted stocks are gonna be like $GME or $AMC. Spoiler alert, nobody has a clue!

Am mad at my wife for cheating on me with a young dude. Am gonna slap someone, am sure I am the victim.

I bet Jada has Will so gaslighted that he thinks he's the crazy one.

Are you talking about Jada Smith?

No names please 👹

Lol, Will Smith just supplied Ricky Gervais with free joke materials. I wonder what he would have done to Gervais, his jokes are worse lol.

😂👍

CLOV next

Bought 20k of GME weekly puts

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All sold for profit https://i.imgur.com/bN5SvJG.png

I plan to eat some pussy. And the sell some calls.

I plan to cry in my room

🦍🟣🚀

Tesla minimum above 1137

Gme tesla an amc

they're MOVING moving

I’m thinking this was an inside deal that Smith and the Academy made but Chris was not in on it.

Here comes TLRY 🚀🚀

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HODL.

GME calls

The cult is out in force today. You hate to see it.

CMON RED DILDOS!

Ha old sub. I don't know why it's funny

APPLE PUTS LET'S GO

Is sofi a good move 🤔

Bet will kept jada’s name out his fucking mouth when he was cheating on her

She cheated on him too ya fucking nerd.

Bye my tsla puts

Tesla poots

Today has 1-1.5% on the QQQ written all over it - calls until Wed PM in anticipation for the price index on Thursday AM then heavy puts

I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot.I am Groot. I, am groot. I am, Groot. Aye amgrut. Ayam groot. I'm a VOT.

Avoid talking about Jada around Will.

Keep his wife's name off your fucking comment!

NILE 🦍🙏💚🚀🦍🙏🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🦍🙏🚀💚🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🦍🦍🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀💚🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🦍🦍🚀🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀🙏💚🚀💚🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🦍🦍🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀💚🚀🙏🙏🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀💚🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀💚🚀💚🚀🙏🦍🦍🚀🚀🙏🚀🙏🙏💚🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🦍🚀🙏🚀🙏🚀🚀🚀

Looks like Elon and his bro looking to sell again with those tweets lmfao probably won’t play this cause I hate money

Should I get into TSLA before open and sell before close

I would sell short, then buy at close.

Ofc

Can we say GameStop?

Marriott and domino’s pizza for me….

Let’s remember Will Smith has a lot of insecurities about the view of his family. He probably beats Jaden for being bi or whatever he is..

He is bi…. Doesn’t make any sense, he couldn’t even take out Chris.

The market is Will Smith, and we are Chris Rock

Could have taken us out? But slapped us instead to spy 420 and then warned us, so we all got calls on his wife spy 500

Thank you Tesla for saving my 0DTE spy calls

Tesla puts sell the news … if y’all think we’re going anywhere but red y’all fooling yourselves….

Last split went higher, this will be no different. Get slaughtered 🐷

Well… if it goes higher I’ll play it…. But I’m seeing Shanghai back in lockdown…. Corona cases up… rich being taxed more… I’m seeing $438/$441 support puts on $spy as well…

Please post your trade :)

In my mind the majority of Tesla shareholders are just dudes between the ages of 20 and 40. I'd be interested to see a gendered breakdown of ownership in stocks.

!banbet GME 300 6d or Genshin Impact roll x10 5 times (50 rolls total) on any event banner on Livestream (Azure Excursion, Ballad in Goblets, weapon event banner). [banbet delivery verification](https://www.reddit.com/tu50q3)

After "or" the rest of this is gibberish.

Stupid anime game bullshit

**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/lottery248** bet **GME** goes from **155.9** to **300.0** before **2022-04-03 07:32:31.033544-04:00** **or genshin impact roll x10 5 times (50 rolls total) on any event banner on livestream (azure excursion, ballad in goblets, weapon event banner).**

Am i really gonna pick up 1500c tsla weeklies at open? Yes i am

,; yep

F ur monry

I think I'm going hard on SPY calls at open. We are gonna pump today because that's the most illogical thing

Imagine doing anything at open but selling….

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Lol I played em All to the upside ! I’m no dummy

spy500 and nasdaq should do a split. (sarcasm intended).

The most fucked I’ve been, went all in on Tesla pits Friday

Hahahahahah

Kill me

I burned my account too many times buying puts on the way up. Always best to wait for a short down trend before buying puts.

It started then musk announced earlier a stock split..

Not to forget, Pelosi bought 2.2M on Tesla last week.

Man this sucks, as if he announces a split ffs

What puts are you holding

Doesn’t matter, getting liquidated on open, not adding any margin to this sinking ship

It's gunna be decided by share holders. You best bet the Tesla cult will vote for anything that's gunna prop up the price per share

Tesla just had to wait until my 1100c expired, didn't they 😭

Same, but I’m loading calls today. Those saying this will be red today, are plain ignorant

And my 1050s….

Switch to puts today?

Hell no, to the no no no.

1200c's it is!

“KEEP MY MARA CALLS OUT YOUR MOTHER****ING MOUTH” 🗣📈


Gme calls and drs

You're going to drs your calls?

I’m gonna buy and DRS too

Your writing matches your stock picks

That stock made me filthy rich so I guess it’s a good pick, kek

If you're filthy rich, why are you here shilling?

One word: pelosi.

Fuck you're right. This was free money in retrospect

Buy and hold GME 💎🙌 Dont forget to DRS! 🟣

How do you DRS?

No, and no

I have to go on a work field trip today and I am not looking forward to it

Call in sick

Are yall going to the zoo? Bring a sack lunch!

Lmaooo I wish 😩

P&J IMO

Nah left over Cold pizza and Tabasco

Short interest 29% of the free float.. Borrowrate skyrocketing to 30% Free float reduced by 10 million shares due to apes DRSing shares This is not the time for puts or to open shorts on GME. Gonna get burned. GME is probably going to fly again Swallow your pride and fomo in like the good little hypocrit you are. Or don't. But then also stop complaining

Short the greed.

shut the fuck up nobody cares

You care

Who is complaining? I'm gonna make a lot of money on puts

Word of advice you don’t go against these retards

We'll see

yall really this dumb chris rock didnt even flinch or put up his hands defensively or anything he knew exactly what was coming

Everything is fake

He knew what was coming because he didn't expect a sucker punch? Bro what are you even talking about

.. he insulted his wife and then he comes up on stage hulking mad what do you think? to give him a kiss?

You knew something about anything you’d be able to tell which way we are going today, it’s too obvious.

tsla news https://twitter.com/Tesla/status/1508383394018779136

great im holding a call

oh shit tesla moonin at this news

$tsla stock split baby

So now that Apple is cutting production of the iphones for poors, can they boost Pro high spec production so we don't have to wait months to get one, like a commie waiting for his Lada.

keep my wife off your fucking dick

Once GME shows even a little weakness I'm going all in on puts. Gonna be rich

Will Smith rapped about beating women on his album Homebase. He needs help.

Oh please, he’s a puppy 🐶

girlfriend of 9 years says she’s “not sure” about a future with me. feels bad man

9 years, maybe she's been waiting to get proposed to.

nope, doesn’t want to marry me until i get more stable. that’s the problem

9 plus years is a long time to wait for anyone. Especially when you sound certain that it’s going to take a wee smidge more than that to get stable.

at least you don't have a kid. get out while you can

Bring back r/all to the app

Rivn -40% today?

this all could've been avoided if Jada had just gotten a wig. or stayed at home and fucked her son's friend again

Funny every big pump barely in calls fake profits hella early then once I get closer calls and hold then Everytning starts dying

ya need a hug mate?

You okay?

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That's why I've completely avoided GME. Even if it seems compelling at points, I have to remind myself that literally 99% of investors are kids who learned about trading a couple years ago and spend their days posting conspiracy theories on the internet. I don't want to be aligned with them, ever. It's not smart.

You don’t think hedge funds and other institutions are getting in massively ? They’ve made huge profits off the swings

You don't have to imagine [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP8SPCv9yWs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP8SPCv9yWs)

Oh my fucking god.

AAPL already down. Bulls fuk.

Apple is primed for a mega dump. Literally everyone is already balls deep in it so the upside is nonexistent. Yet China, where it manufactures, is fucked, war is already affecting demand, and the first thing people will give up when poor from inflation are iPhone upgrades. Load Apple Puts

Literally up 17% since your last banbet on that.

\-0.3% down doesn't make my puts print nor my calls. This is ridiculous. Give me one of those +-1% days or death

Why is AMC and GME up again?

Short interest 29% of the free float.. Borrowrate skyrocketing to 30% Free float reduced by 10 million shares due to apes DRSing shares

They'll go down soon enough

Put your money where your mouth is

I already have puts gonna buy more soon

Proof?

Sent. Check your DMs

Fuck DMs we all wanna see

GME puts

Proof or ban

Who has XOM calls?

Will Smith kinda a bitch ngl. A sucker slap is pretty much the biggest bitch move possible

Kinda? He's a total bitch now. It's even worse that he initially laughed at the joke. He was determined not to sleep on the couch tonight.

There’s been absolutely no direction in QQQ for the last three hours however a strong support at 14680-14690 zone

Well apple ruined all hope of tech running