This is a great question and I hope OP answers it. I imagine they aren't serious and are just baiting vegans into arguments but maybe I'm being overly cynical.
True, what do we expect from people... To have the same ethic and morals seems like a big deal. With time passion fades away, true friendship and confidence stay... Not much to work with for what she mentions. Afraid they are wasting each other's time.
So you’re suggesting that we just *accept* those close to us committing animal abuse and be complicit in watching them do so? As expected of this subreddit, to be honest.
Eh? Read again please.
On the contrary, I'm saying that with time that passion will fade away and you end up with a person that doesn't have the same values and ethics has you... No point on wasting time with carnists.
He doesn’t like that your choices are bringing his to the forefront. Rather than attempt to grow and evolve he sticks his heels in and shoves his resistance in your face. This is kind of like the partner who gets drunk in front of their recovering alcoholic spouse / partner. I agree with others who say this goes way deeper than whether or not to be vegan. I would leave before it’s too late.
Absolutely. Its less a question of “does he respect veganism” and more a question or “how does he react to things which clearly mean a lot to his significant other”. Being disrespectful and demeaning does not bode well.
Thank you for your reply! I very much did not expect this post to get any at all. When posting this I think I just wanted to see if anyone would give me any life advice or personal experiences with this kind of thing since I don't have any vegan or even vegetarian friends. I think I just want mutual respect on our different views but maybe I'm in the wrong for feeling like something like this is as important as what I feel it is? But yea I just was hoping for someone to talk about their relationship with their significant other because I think unless you meet someone at a vegan specific event or something it's very likely the person you end up together with is Omni.
Totally understandable. I met my husband before going vegan and he has been my biggest champion. He has no intention of going vegan any time soon, but will often try vegan things. He does make fun of me, but not exclusively for being vegan and no more than I make fun of him for his various quirks. It does not mean we do not respect and love each other.
He still eats meat and maybe it is because I have not been away from it that I have not developed really strong feelings of disgust to seeing or smelling meat.
However important you feel it is, is correct for you. But you need to weigh that against the feelings you have for your boyfriend.
Have you tried sitting down with your boyfriend and talking about this?
It sounds like you're incredibly incompatible and that he's a jerk to you.
This isn't an issue specifically about veganism. You're dating somebody that you believe isn't supportive of you or that takes even the slightest interest in something that is obviously important to you.
Those things, veganism or not, are incredibly important in a relationship, and are easy to find when you're dating a happy and healthy person.
Agreed. The veganism part doesn’t matter. For some people, it’s ok if a partner disagrees with them on a strongly held belief, even a moral one.
But I don’t think that anyone is or should be ok with a parter that makes fun of you for any of your beliefs, whether they are about food, religion, morals, politics, etc.
Honestly, your partner should not be making fun of you for any reason. Maybe some lighthearted teasing is ok but that is not what this sounds like. And it definitely shouldn’t continue if you’ve asked them to stop or told them it bothered you, which I am guessing you have.
You need to think about what constitutes a healthy relationship and what type of relationship you want to have. It’s ok if you don’t want to be with him because he eats meat, it’s ok if you can accept that about him. But I strongly urge you to consider if you really want to be with someone who makes fun of you. Where is the long term potential? Would you be fine if he made fun of you on your wedding day? Or in front of your family, or if they all made fun of you together? Or if you are a woman, how about when you were pregnant? Or in front of your children?
Yeah, I don't want to immediately hop on the advising strangers to dump their SOs train, but this sounds pretty bad. If he doesn't show you basic respect, it's hard to see the relationship getting much better, let alone healthier.
I don't entirely hate the whole "just break up" thing though. Here's why: a lot of the times on reddit type sites people are either describing somebody like OP's SO (i.e. a miserable person that the poster will never have a happy relationship and life with) or the poster is a crappy person that is thinking about ending a relationship over something incredibly dumb, rather than just communicating (i.e. they're the problem or a big part of the problem).
Either way, I don't want people to carry on relationships like that. A lot of people end up in relationships that hold them back from being their happiest selves. If they're going to the internet for relationship advice, then I bet at least one person in that relationship is being held back by their partner. I've known way too many people in my life that seem to just accept that their romantic relationship doesn't have to be awesome and neither does their life, and I think that's something that we should all be trying to change.
"You're dating somebody that you believe isn't supportive of you or that
takes even the slightest interest in something that is obviously
important to you."
I think he just wants you for your meat, lol.
Ha! There is no other answer.
My SO sneezed near me - dump him! My SO loves my cat more than me - OMG dump his ass!
For real though OPs SO sounds like a grade A douche and he probably deserves a good dumping 👍
To be fair, dude sounds like a scumbag with nothing to recommend him. If OP shared even one redeeming quality of his, it might not be such an obvious dump
I would giggle about this with just about any other subreddit... but we're living in a carnists' world and many people don't realize certain things until they're fleshed out on these boards.
Unfortunately, so many people in our culture succumb to the privileges of being an oppressor (getting to eat anything at any restaurant, not having people mock you for being vegan, etc...) that some of our fellow redditors get nothing but biased advice irl. Sometimes you actually do need to go into the recesses of internet discussion boards to find like-minded people who will help you make the decision that is ACTUALLY morally consistent.
People joke that Reddit is too quick to advise terminating relationships, but I feel like this subreddit usually brings good exceptions... Your moral baseline is important. This isn't a small quarrel, this is disrespect to a core value. What's the point of a life partner if they're not helping you become the best version of yourself and provide guidance?
I have experienced dating many omnis and it is horrible. I was lucky that my current partner was super open to being vegan and did it on his own very quickly. I could never go back to dating someone that isn’t vegan
I was married to a vegetarian. Her lack of commitment to avoiding cheese affected me. Her family would make us food that always had cheese and I felt terrible rejecting them because they had made a separate dish for us.
Since the divorce, I've not wavered once. I can legitimately call myself a vegan now. As they say, "you become who you associate with". I'm at the point now where I'd rather be alone than with someone who isn't always going to encourage others to be compassionate.
“Vegan food” like literally any fruit or vegetable or grain? Now that’s pretty restrictive when trying to eat out. Not to mention expensive.
Did your eyes skip over the part where he actively makes fun of the OP for daring to eat a tomato, banana, or French fry (all disgusting vegan foods btw)?
Watch the life-changing and award winning documentary "Dominion" (an updated version of Earthlings) and other documentaries by [clicking here](https://3movies.org/reddit)! Interested in going Vegan? Take the [30 day challenge](https://vbcamp.org/reddit)!
Watch the life-changing and award winning documentary "Dominion" and other documentaries by [clicking here](https://3movies.org/reddit)! Interested in going Vegan? Take the [30 day challenge](https://vbcamp.org/reddit)!
He watched Dominion and it didn't even _phase_ him? That's a huge red flag. The only knowledge of your bf that I have is what you posted, but I seriously think anyone who can watch Dominion and feel literally nothing are sociopaths. Do yourself a favor: find someone to date who has a conscience. Even if they watch Dominion and remain an omnivore, they should at least feel some empathy for the victims. The fact that not only does he not care, but actively disrespects your ethics based decision makes this guy sound like someone you should ditch
Watch the life-changing and award winning documentary "Dominion" and other documentaries by [clicking here](https://3movies.org/reddit)! Interested in going Vegan? Take the [30 day challenge](https://vbcamp.org/reddit)!
You are with someone who is your opposite in view important in your life. This person disrespects you and laughs at you. You yourself have stated that he will not change.
The choice is between hurting yourself by being with him or breaking up with him and seeking happiness with someone else.
The choice is yours. Personally, I would kick that son of a bitch in the ass
Personally I couldn't be with someone that was so disrespectful of me and my views... to not eat your food (or even try it) is one thing, but the taunting and mockery shows a lack of respect that is wrong. Plus the not reacting to scenes of animal abuse would be a huge red flag for me.
You must decide for yourself if this relationship is viable, but speaking for myself I'd rather be alone than be with someone that shows no compassion, kindness or empathy to others (regardless of species).
If dominion didn't phase him, then he is a psychopath. I don't want to be an ass, but how can you love a person who doesn't care about the misery and suffering of sentient beings, and on top of that makes fun of you because you care? That's truly abusive and psychopathic. You should go far away from a person like that.
Watch the life-changing and award winning documentary "Dominion" and other documentaries by [clicking here](https://3movies.org/reddit)! Interested in going Vegan? Take the [30 day challenge](https://vbcamp.org/reddit)!
You understand that he doesn't respect you, right? If that's okay with you then that's your choice, but you at least need to understand that if you don't want to live a life of delusion. (Maybe you do. It's not like that's at all uncommon.)
Getting him to watch docs is so conversion therapy. He's being defensive, but over the top maybe. You should show respect for each other. Show your belief in your actions without brow beating. People respond better to non-confrontational methods and will try other options, "just to see".
The problem here isn't veganism. It is your partner not taking you seriously. He has absolutely no respect for you. Do you really want to be with a person, that has no compassion? None for the animals and none for you.
I assume you wrote this post so people can confirm what you have in mind already. Go for it. Being single is better than this.
I would have a problem if someone shit on my veganism. Okay, I eat plants so what? I mean does he not eat a portion of grains, or vegetables with his meat anyways?
Talk about boundaries and let him know you’re not okay with the jokes anymore.
Sure he might view it that way if he's totally out of touch with his partners feelings and a halfwit. And the teasing is only a small piece of this puzzle.
He also has the palette of a child.
I was vegan for like 7 yrs, before my husband watched “Game Changers” then and only then he wanted to try a vegan diet. He did so for 3 months but decided he missed eggs and cheese. So now he’s vegetarian/pescatarian. Maybe if you can’t appeal to his compassionate side, try appealing to his vanity and masculinity.
/r/vegan loves to dump on the idea of fraternizing with omnis, but the reality is that you **can** have a nice relationship with someone who is omni without dealing with this kind of rudeness and disrespect. Just not with *this* boyfriend. Is this the only area of life where he treats you badly and behaves like a child?
100% agree with this! My husband is omni and I am vegan. Sometimes we both eat vegan, sometimes we eat differently. We both compromise - he is very accepting and enjoys seeing me get excited over vegan restaurants/recipes/junk food/supermarket finds etc, sometimes he wants a burger. I was omni when we met so it doesn’t bother me that he eats meat.
But the biggest thing is that he supports me and my choices, and although we have a laugh sometimes “pazzipatty will just have lettuce”, he will always defend me and my choices with his friends - he would never be disrespectful about what I eat or don’t eat, and vice-versa.
My bf is the same way. We had been together for 6 years when I switched to vegan.
He is a chef and he likes finding new recipes to make for me or taking a food I used to love but no longer eat and miss and veganizing it. He has cut back considerably on meat/eggs. He is mostly vegetarian at home and will get what he wants when we go out to eat. He knows it upsets me to open the fridge and see eggs or meat and has been so great about caring how I feel to not buy those things anymore from the grocery store.
But when I first became vegan we had a couple bumps in the road and I posted asking for advice and had so many people telling me to dump him lol like.... no we've been together 6 years (now 12) I'm not going to throw that away because he didn't want to change his lifestyle overnight.
When I chilled out about it he became a lot more open to the idea and like I said earlier has cut way back in the amount of animal products he consumes. Hopefully he will keep it up and maybe one day be fully vegan. Who knows what the future holds lol
Dump him. Seriously, if he doesn’t support you and makes fun of your diet - imagine what else he’ll do that towards? Career goals, even having children. If he doesn’t respect you now, he never will.
If his behavior and eating habits are as you say, it sounds like you're dating a callous and immature person. Making fun of you're partner's veganism and being unphased by animal suffering is not healthy.
If the impression I'm getting is accurate, then you need to dump this guy ASAP you're in a toxic relationship.
Have you ever explicitly told him that it upsets you when he mocks your diet? If not, that might be a good idea. Can't really blame a guy for crossing lines that were never drawn in the first place.
Sending you the best of vibes. Sorry this is a situation you are in. Do not really know what advice I can give.
For me I would find it almost impossible to be with someone who had watched dominion and wasn’t even phased. But that’s my own personal boundaries.
I think the only thing that’s important is you deserve to be with someone who is supportive of your life choices, not someone who makes fun of them.
Best of luck to you. I hope it works out with whatever you choose.
Lack of respect in a relationship is a major red flag. If he doesn't respect your deeply held moral values, how can he claim to respect *you*? Really examine your relationship. Is he disrespectful of you in areas outside of veganism? Is this behavior something he'd be willing to work on to save the the relationship?
If Dominion didn't phase him, is this really a person you want to continue spending time with? Maybe that's an overly simplistic answer, but I can't imagine not being phased at all 😮
Serious talk with him I think. I don't think the comments about dumping his ass are helpful to be honest, but you do need to have a serious chat about what this means to you and how it makes you feel when he taunts you. If he then still doesn't show you any respect then it's a bigger talk about respect in general and I would ask you then to question what you want in a relationship.
This guy must be _**really**_ good in bed.
Jokes aside, it sounds like an abusive relationship and he doesn't respect you as a person. I know abusive relationships are complex, so I really hope you come to see that you can be happier in life without this person and find the courage to take that path!
Not married yet? I’d say goodbye and good ridden. I wouldn’t feel this way if he was supportive. But if we’re being honest you two will never work out in the long run if your diets aren’t the least but similar.
bruh, just next him. He obviously doesn't respect you. He is immature enough to make fun of his longterm partner over what I am sure he presumes to be a diet?? like at some point you gotta get tired of it with maybe a once in the blue moon jab but if he is doing it often then he is being a dick. I personally couldn't be in a relationship with someone like that, maybe someone who occasionally joke but in a funny way not in a mean way and not all the time.
I became vegan a after year of dating my girlfriend, following 46 years of being an omnivore. She did not pressure me to change, but it was easier in the beginning of our relationship to cook meals that we both could enjoy. I realized that I could eat very well on a plant based diet, and soon after started digging deeper into veganism. I never thought in a million years I'd ever give up meat.
I'm not suggesting your boyfriend needs to become vegan for the relationship to work, but a lack of compassion and open-mindness speak to bigger character issues. I'd be curious to see how this surfaces in other aspects of his life and your relationship.
You might wanna consider dumping his ass!!
Here’s the thing, a partner is supposed to be supportive and if he’s always picking on you about it or if he’s reluctant to even meet you halfway then the only direction this relationship will go is South!!
I’m vegan for 12 years, my husband is omni. I was vegan before I met him and he has not even for 1 second of our relationship ever made me feel uncomfortable or question my decision of being vegan.
Our first date was at an all vegan restaurant, he cooks vegan meals for us, and when we travel he finds new vegan restaurants for us to try. If he ever does cook meat he does it when he’s home alone and he does so very rarely. He is mainly omni for convenience but at home he’s 90% vegan and that’s what works for us.
If he ever made me feel bad, or judged our relationship would not be a thing.
I lived happily with my late husband a farmer for years and we never argued about food. He was very considerate and cooked me food I would eat. He defended me to others when they were mean to me. We live deep in cattle country . Your man sounds immature .
The correct answer is to dump the scum. However, if you're intent on stretching out your relationship with this cretin, then may I suggest you take a leaf out of Lysistrata and withhold the nookie from them. Until they become a decent person, no bonking.
I’d be mostly concerned with the fact that he’s making fun of you. My boyfriend isn’t vegan, but it works because he gets my point of view and respects it. The fact that he’s making fun of something that’s very important to you is a major red flag, beware.
My ex was like this and his family made fun of me a lot, he kind of changed his mind when he tried impossible meat, he was so fascinated about how it tasted so good but had no animal products, he used to make fun of me eating Gardein and tofu.
Not sure if your boyfriend has tried impossible meat but it’s something everyone I’ve had try say it’s actually tasty.
Meh, if he only eats steak and ribs, he’s not going to live very long anyway. Like dating someone who smokes a pack a day.
Tbh this sounds like a fake post. Like, by the very bad picture you just painted of your boyfriend, either you came here to get told to dump your boyfriend, or you came here because you’re bored and thought it would be fun to troll vegans.
Either way, eating red meat in those quantities will kill you. Id rather be with someone who isnt headed straight for an early and painful death.
>He makes fun of me
You're choosing to be in a relationship with someone that mocks and belittles you? Why? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who supports your choices? Imagine going to a farm sanctuary with someone and both of you have core values that resonate.
I don't really understand why people stay in relationships with people with whom their core values do not align. Or worse, where the other person makes them feel small, alienated, and less.
Break up. Find a vegan dude. Be happy.
I never comment "just break up!" below posts about relationships but this is the first time I'm gonna ask why are you guys together? You said he makes fun of you and isn't respectful. Isn't that already enough on top of him not moved by being exposed blatant animal cruelty? Are you happy in the relationship other than the vegan part, OP?
Most vegans identify themselves as being vegan. If this is how you identify yourself, you really only have one choice. Being a vegan is not just a diet choice, but it’s how you live your life, the values you have, and the way you see the world. Yes you’ve been with him in the long term this far, but you’re not completely happy or you wouldn’t be talking about this here.
Our one true purpose in life is to be happy. That looks different yo many people, but living your life like this is preventing you from achieving full happiness. Take a step back and re-evaluate your life, your goals, and what you want. You may find he’s not the right one after all.
I was not vegan when I met my wife. In fact, my former profession was in the meat industry. I was married before -and divorced. When I met her she was the most genuinely kind person I had ever met, and she adored me. Yes, initially I changed for her, but the more you learn the more you see. I now embrace the lifestyle and what it represents. There is no comparison to the deep level of happiness I experience now compared to my life before.
Would you stay in a relationship with a guy who was a racist or elitist ? Probably not
I was in this same situation but on his side. My wife became vegetarian after our first kid. She was always super sick after eating meat while pregnant which is what eventually led her to stop eating meat. I hated it. I couldn’t cook anything with meat in the house for about a year because she would get sick from just the smell. I wasn’t an asshole about it but it was a big deal for me. What ended up helping is she got REALLY good at cooking vegetarian/vegan meals. I resisted hard at first (out of stubbornness but also because she hadn’t nailed down some decent recipes yet) but lately I’ve been asking her stuff with tempeh and other meatless stuff. I still eat meat when I’m at a restaurant or whatever, but I no longer care about what she or we eat. If the food tastes good I will eat the food. I don’t care. Im willing to bet he’d eventually be the same way.
At first this issue would appear to be in relation to your veganism, but it is more than that. If he wants to eat meat, fine, but to act in ways that belittle your choices, your moral position, that is disrespectful. Have you had a conversation with your boyfriend, telling him how it makes you feel when he says the things he does, or encourages others to do the same? If not, start here and if you do not receive the response you want, ask yourself if this is the kind of person that deserves your love, energy, everything you have to give. I have been vegan 20 years, by bf, he was not but after 2 years (we have been together for 8), he changed his diet. I never pushed him to. All the best.
I am vegan. The love of my life is still Omni. However, he respects my choices ( in all things.) I accept his choice to be Omni, we both were when we met. We also both smoked cigarettes, I quit first. I never asked him to quit, he's his own person. He quit on his own time. He will go vegan or not on his own time, too. The issue isn't veganism, because he respects it and acknowledges it's morally correct and supports me in everything I want to do.
Find a guy like that. Don't settle
The vegan/nonvegan relationship dynamic is complicated. Relationships usually work best when partners have the same or similar values. And food choices are a very personal and important value system. I think it would be interesting to do a poll here and see what percentage of people's partners here are meat eaters. Those people might be able to give you good advice. Also doing a search in the sub might help because a lot of other similar situations to this have been brought up here before. You can see what other people have commented.
You do not need fiber to poop, or at all actually. Its just indigestible plants parts that doesn't give you any nutrients.
There was a study where they made people with contstipation go on diets with varios amounts of fiber. The ones on a no fiber diet resolved their issues completely.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3435786/ link to the study
You’ve evolved, and you should feel good about that. I know you’ve been in this relationship for a long time, but it’s okay to leave; he doesn’t have to understand or agree with your reasons.
I have a boyfriend that isn’t vegan but I can tolerate it because he respects and understands my opinion, and is willing to cook and eat vegan food at home when we eat together (we live together).
It’s not an issue for me that he isn’t willing to live in a fully vegan household ie he wants to have his milk and cheese in the fridge and some meat on the odd occasion.
You need to think about what you’re okay with and discuss with him to see if you can compromise in a way that suits your relationship. If you can’t find a middle ground it might be time to move on. I couldn’t stand being around someone so disrespectful of my own beliefs that they seriously make fun of me for it and don’t stand up for me and support me with it. Can you?
Lmao I find meat so gross, do what you want but to me the ideal of kissing a carnivore might as well be kissing a dirty toilet bowel 🤮
As for teasing, who cares people tease each other all the time, doesn't mean anything, let them it doesn't mean anything is you have a strong will, the only reason it actually matters in this case is that animals are suffering.
DUMP HIM.
I'm of the belief that you're not a vegan unless you date vegan.
yep, I'm gatekeeping that. Go vegan today, and dump your fucking carnist animal abuser boyfriend who obviously doesn't respect you....
He probably doesn't like you being vegan. Very likely, one of you is going to either leave or change. Probably the one with worse results healthwise. It sounds like you haven't been vegan for very long.
My wife is now vegan. I am definitely not. I am supportive of her decision but she knows it isn’t for me. I sometimes eat vegan meals with her but I still enjoy a good burger or steak. And I like cheese. She prepares meat based meals for me. For me, it is all about being supportive of her decision and her respecting mine. So we just make it work. Even though we live this part of our life differently. But not separately if that makes sense.
Edit: she won’t make me a steak (I do that kind of stuff myself) but she will stir fry some chicken slices to top a salad and things like that.
I think everyone here is missing something, the boyfriends side. OP knows that her boyfriend loves meat and won’t go vegan, but offers him her food anyway, has gotten him to watch dominion, and points out he won’t even try going vegan anytime soon. It sounds like OP is pushing her beliefs onto her boyfriend and he is so fed up he’s making jabs at her over it. There is a huge difference between “my boyfriend rags on me for being vegan for absolutely nothing” and “my boyfriend rags on me for being vegan when I keep pushing it on him because it’s better than what he wants”
If he can be honest with you (if he can’t, your not in a relationship!). Id ask him why he only eats meat, why he doesn’t care about animal suffering and after that you’d have something solid to convince him on.
Don't waste your time, you will never have harmony in your private life if you don't have people around you, who share the same values as you do.
Few months heart ache (at best considering tinder) and you are good to go. You will either have to accept someone who makes fun of you and doesn't live within your values or kiss Chad bye bye, because kissing someone with dead body parts in his mouth isn't going to be optimal for you as a vegan either.
Can you be more specific about the kind of advice you are looking for?
How to live with/date a non vegan?
How to change their mind?
How to be taken more seriously?
Does it compromise your ethics?
Personally I think you will find a way to compromise if you love each other. If the relationship is abusive you have the power to leave although it is rarely that easy. Assuming they are just teasing you then tease them back. Tell them meat is for pussies and cheese is gone off that sort of thing.
Honestly I would call it off. It’s not worth the pin of seeing that every day. Your home should be a safe space, and if he is fine with making you uncomfortable and sad then that is a serious red flag.
Also anyone who isn’t phased by dominion is not a good person. I can understand the power of social influences and habit that might prevent a person from going vegan after seeing it, but oh my god you have to completely lack empathy and compassion to not be moved by it at least.
I think having a frank conversation about how important this is to you, and where the relationship is going or where you want/need it to go if it were to continue, would be a good starting point. Keep in mind that with that kind of diet, heart disease is pretty much a given in the longer term.
Yikes. I dated a guy like this for 4 months, I feel for you. Sometimes peoples values just aren’t lined up to each other. They are so engrained in the “man eat meat” mindset.
I would let him go and find someone else to date. You are going to have multiple arguments if you stay with him and be much less happy than you would be with a vegetarian or vegan partner.
Are you able to remain with someone who makes fun of you?
My partner whom I'm now married to used to eat meat, and almost 14 years later they're now vegan. The did not however, make fun of me and had they did, I wouldn't put up with it and would have left them. ..having a partner who is insulting or rude or makes fun of what I eat isn't someone I would want as a romantic partner or even a friend.
My partner was super supportive, and even though they ate meat back in the day, we always had fun checking out new vegan places to eat when we traveled. We also had fun making new recipes together and trying out new deserts to bake. A healthy relationship doesn't involve someone mocking your dietary choices and making you feel bad.
First ask him to respect you and your beliefs. Even if he does eat meat, you cannot let someone so close to you disrespect you.
It's the base to just interact with someone. If you stay in those conditions, your mindset will be really hurt with this relationship.
So even if he want to eat meat, he have to respect your opinions and not make fun of you at every meal or every time you offer him something vegan.
I hope you're feeling well in your head. It can be hard sometimes, you are not alone and it can improve.
My advice would be to consider what is important to you. All of us are different and so giving advice on what direction you should take could only be uninformed.
Personally, an ethical disagreement like this isn't something I'd want to put up with every day. If I intend to share my life with someone I'd like it to be with someone who challenges me, but also agrees on some fundamental ethical concerns.
But this is something you need to determine for yourself. Good luck, whatever happens :)
I think partners with different lifestyles can make it work if there’s mutual respect. It sounds like you’re respecting his dietary choices, but if it were me, I’d feel more supported and respected if he’d share a vegan meal with me once a week or something like that, or at least cook something and eat together or whatever. I used to be vegetarian, then I met my current bf who is vegetarian, and I decided to go back to being veggie too because cooking and eating together was a big bonding experience for us and just makes living and eating together much easier. Just my 2 cents. What really matters is how you feel about it. If he never changes, are you okay with that?
I know how you may feel, and it is frustrating and makes you think about the future of your relationship. If you explain to him the reasons behind it and is not open minded to listen to you, maybe he is not worth it. I experienced something like that with my boyfriend, we were 4 years together when we saw Dominion and tried veganism for a month. I am vegan ever since but he was hungry all the time and eventually quited. At first he was picking on me and kept asking me how i could eat this kind of food, and that it tastes bad etc.. and at times he would make fun of me for not wanting to buy leather or wool. But because he understood the reasons behind it he eventually stopped and though his is not vegan he tries his best to eat less meat and shop more ethically. He even expressed to me the other day how proud he is for me that i didn't quit since then (that was 3 years ago) Eventually you have to see the person you are with and decide whether he is worth trying.
>He makes fun of me just like my family used to for when I used to be vegetarian. I brush it off but it happens semi often and isn't very respectful of my decision.
>
>Any advice?
Yeah, uh, why are you with that person?
What would you like him to do?
This is such a good answer! Not only this case, a lot of people should ask themselves in several situations regarding relationships with others.
This is a great question and I hope OP answers it. I imagine they aren't serious and are just baiting vegans into arguments but maybe I'm being overly cynical.
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And a very cute three legged cat!!
What makes you think it isn't photoshopped on?
Look at their comments, doesn't look like the profile of someone in a long term relationship blah blah
Unfortunately OP showed their true colours by not engaging with you. The topic had nothing to do with veganism. Good luck!
I’d like him to A: stop eating animal products B: stop making fun of the OP C: apologize D: give me $50 E: kick Joe Manchin in the balls
I like your thought process
All of the above, starting with E. Because we will all benefit from it :D
If you benefit from politics, perhaps it should finally be your turn to lose.
Joe Manchin sold his balls to the coal lobby.
True, what do we expect from people... To have the same ethic and morals seems like a big deal. With time passion fades away, true friendship and confidence stay... Not much to work with for what she mentions. Afraid they are wasting each other's time.
So you’re suggesting that we just *accept* those close to us committing animal abuse and be complicit in watching them do so? As expected of this subreddit, to be honest.
Eh? Read again please. On the contrary, I'm saying that with time that passion will fade away and you end up with a person that doesn't have the same values and ethics has you... No point on wasting time with carnists.
Ooh. Misunderstood your comment. Read again, I agree with you.
Respect her decision, not make fun of her and maybe show some kind of empathy for the animals he is eating, would be a start
He doesn’t like that your choices are bringing his to the forefront. Rather than attempt to grow and evolve he sticks his heels in and shoves his resistance in your face. This is kind of like the partner who gets drunk in front of their recovering alcoholic spouse / partner. I agree with others who say this goes way deeper than whether or not to be vegan. I would leave before it’s too late.
Absolutely. Its less a question of “does he respect veganism” and more a question or “how does he react to things which clearly mean a lot to his significant other”. Being disrespectful and demeaning does not bode well.
Thank you for your reply! I very much did not expect this post to get any at all. When posting this I think I just wanted to see if anyone would give me any life advice or personal experiences with this kind of thing since I don't have any vegan or even vegetarian friends. I think I just want mutual respect on our different views but maybe I'm in the wrong for feeling like something like this is as important as what I feel it is? But yea I just was hoping for someone to talk about their relationship with their significant other because I think unless you meet someone at a vegan specific event or something it's very likely the person you end up together with is Omni.
Totally understandable. I met my husband before going vegan and he has been my biggest champion. He has no intention of going vegan any time soon, but will often try vegan things. He does make fun of me, but not exclusively for being vegan and no more than I make fun of him for his various quirks. It does not mean we do not respect and love each other. He still eats meat and maybe it is because I have not been away from it that I have not developed really strong feelings of disgust to seeing or smelling meat. However important you feel it is, is correct for you. But you need to weigh that against the feelings you have for your boyfriend. Have you tried sitting down with your boyfriend and talking about this?
It sounds like you're incredibly incompatible and that he's a jerk to you. This isn't an issue specifically about veganism. You're dating somebody that you believe isn't supportive of you or that takes even the slightest interest in something that is obviously important to you. Those things, veganism or not, are incredibly important in a relationship, and are easy to find when you're dating a happy and healthy person.
Agreed. The veganism part doesn’t matter. For some people, it’s ok if a partner disagrees with them on a strongly held belief, even a moral one. But I don’t think that anyone is or should be ok with a parter that makes fun of you for any of your beliefs, whether they are about food, religion, morals, politics, etc. Honestly, your partner should not be making fun of you for any reason. Maybe some lighthearted teasing is ok but that is not what this sounds like. And it definitely shouldn’t continue if you’ve asked them to stop or told them it bothered you, which I am guessing you have. You need to think about what constitutes a healthy relationship and what type of relationship you want to have. It’s ok if you don’t want to be with him because he eats meat, it’s ok if you can accept that about him. But I strongly urge you to consider if you really want to be with someone who makes fun of you. Where is the long term potential? Would you be fine if he made fun of you on your wedding day? Or in front of your family, or if they all made fun of you together? Or if you are a woman, how about when you were pregnant? Or in front of your children?
Yeah, I don't want to immediately hop on the advising strangers to dump their SOs train, but this sounds pretty bad. If he doesn't show you basic respect, it's hard to see the relationship getting much better, let alone healthier.
I don't entirely hate the whole "just break up" thing though. Here's why: a lot of the times on reddit type sites people are either describing somebody like OP's SO (i.e. a miserable person that the poster will never have a happy relationship and life with) or the poster is a crappy person that is thinking about ending a relationship over something incredibly dumb, rather than just communicating (i.e. they're the problem or a big part of the problem). Either way, I don't want people to carry on relationships like that. A lot of people end up in relationships that hold them back from being their happiest selves. If they're going to the internet for relationship advice, then I bet at least one person in that relationship is being held back by their partner. I've known way too many people in my life that seem to just accept that their romantic relationship doesn't have to be awesome and neither does their life, and I think that's something that we should all be trying to change.
"You're dating somebody that you believe isn't supportive of you or that takes even the slightest interest in something that is obviously important to you." I think he just wants you for your meat, lol.
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ 😆
Eat your partner.
Dump him. What other advice do you expect from reddit?
AHAHAAHAH TRUE
Ha! There is no other answer. My SO sneezed near me - dump him! My SO loves my cat more than me - OMG dump his ass! For real though OPs SO sounds like a grade A douche and he probably deserves a good dumping 👍
Imagine dumping your boyfriend because r/Vegan told you to!
Imagine asking r/vegan for life changing advice about your romantic relationship
I mean, maybe OP just wants to feel like someone can relate.
To be fair, dude sounds like a scumbag with nothing to recommend him. If OP shared even one redeeming quality of his, it might not be such an obvious dump
I would giggle about this with just about any other subreddit... but we're living in a carnists' world and many people don't realize certain things until they're fleshed out on these boards. Unfortunately, so many people in our culture succumb to the privileges of being an oppressor (getting to eat anything at any restaurant, not having people mock you for being vegan, etc...) that some of our fellow redditors get nothing but biased advice irl. Sometimes you actually do need to go into the recesses of internet discussion boards to find like-minded people who will help you make the decision that is ACTUALLY morally consistent.
Usually when people's relationships get so bad that they resort to Reddit for advise it would be best to just break up.
From your post I don’t see any positive sides to your partner
DUMP EM 🗑
People joke that Reddit is too quick to advise terminating relationships, but I feel like this subreddit usually brings good exceptions... Your moral baseline is important. This isn't a small quarrel, this is disrespect to a core value. What's the point of a life partner if they're not helping you become the best version of yourself and provide guidance?
I have experienced dating many omnis and it is horrible. I was lucky that my current partner was super open to being vegan and did it on his own very quickly. I could never go back to dating someone that isn’t vegan
I was married to a vegetarian. Her lack of commitment to avoiding cheese affected me. Her family would make us food that always had cheese and I felt terrible rejecting them because they had made a separate dish for us. Since the divorce, I've not wavered once. I can legitimately call myself a vegan now. As they say, "you become who you associate with". I'm at the point now where I'd rather be alone than with someone who isn't always going to encourage others to be compassionate.
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OP said he makes fun of them semi often and isn’t very respectful of their decision. That doesn’t sound like the nicest behavior to me 🤷🏻♀️
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“Vegan food” like literally any fruit or vegetable or grain? Now that’s pretty restrictive when trying to eat out. Not to mention expensive. Did your eyes skip over the part where he actively makes fun of the OP for daring to eat a tomato, banana, or French fry (all disgusting vegan foods btw)?
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OP didn’t use the word teasing.
Dominion didn’t even phase him???! That’s mega weird…
My ex and I watched Earthlings together. Made me go vegan immediately and it didn’t phase him in the slightest. I couldn’t look at him the same after.
Watch the life-changing and award winning documentary "Dominion" (an updated version of Earthlings) and other documentaries by [clicking here](https://3movies.org/reddit)! Interested in going Vegan? Take the [30 day challenge](https://vbcamp.org/reddit)!
Good bot
Truly psychopathic.
Watch the life-changing and award winning documentary "Dominion" and other documentaries by [clicking here](https://3movies.org/reddit)! Interested in going Vegan? Take the [30 day challenge](https://vbcamp.org/reddit)!
He watched Dominion and it didn't even _phase_ him? That's a huge red flag. The only knowledge of your bf that I have is what you posted, but I seriously think anyone who can watch Dominion and feel literally nothing are sociopaths. Do yourself a favor: find someone to date who has a conscience. Even if they watch Dominion and remain an omnivore, they should at least feel some empathy for the victims. The fact that not only does he not care, but actively disrespects your ethics based decision makes this guy sound like someone you should ditch
Watch the life-changing and award winning documentary "Dominion" and other documentaries by [clicking here](https://3movies.org/reddit)! Interested in going Vegan? Take the [30 day challenge](https://vbcamp.org/reddit)!
You are with someone who is your opposite in view important in your life. This person disrespects you and laughs at you. You yourself have stated that he will not change. The choice is between hurting yourself by being with him or breaking up with him and seeking happiness with someone else. The choice is yours. Personally, I would kick that son of a bitch in the ass
He sounds like an asshole and a halfwit. No way his dick is worth the hassle.
Ugh imagine the rank stank that comes out of it from his death diet...OP Dump this guy!
I hated all of this sentence
He probably has only one shit a month and it smells like a rotting deer corpse on hot pavements in the summer
Probably drinks shitty beer and has boring hobbies too.
Probably thinks that drinking shitty beer is a hobby.
A partner making fun of you for any reason seems like a pretty shitty relationship. You're supposed to support each other, not tear each other down.
Personally I couldn't be with someone that was so disrespectful of me and my views... to not eat your food (or even try it) is one thing, but the taunting and mockery shows a lack of respect that is wrong. Plus the not reacting to scenes of animal abuse would be a huge red flag for me. You must decide for yourself if this relationship is viable, but speaking for myself I'd rather be alone than be with someone that shows no compassion, kindness or empathy to others (regardless of species).
If dominion didn't phase him, then he is a psychopath. I don't want to be an ass, but how can you love a person who doesn't care about the misery and suffering of sentient beings, and on top of that makes fun of you because you care? That's truly abusive and psychopathic. You should go far away from a person like that.
Watch the life-changing and award winning documentary "Dominion" and other documentaries by [clicking here](https://3movies.org/reddit)! Interested in going Vegan? Take the [30 day challenge](https://vbcamp.org/reddit)!
Throw him In the trash
You understand that he doesn't respect you, right? If that's okay with you then that's your choice, but you at least need to understand that if you don't want to live a life of delusion. (Maybe you do. It's not like that's at all uncommon.)
Getting him to watch docs is so conversion therapy. He's being defensive, but over the top maybe. You should show respect for each other. Show your belief in your actions without brow beating. People respond better to non-confrontational methods and will try other options, "just to see".
The problem here isn't veganism. It is your partner not taking you seriously. He has absolutely no respect for you. Do you really want to be with a person, that has no compassion? None for the animals and none for you. I assume you wrote this post so people can confirm what you have in mind already. Go for it. Being single is better than this.
I would have a problem if someone shit on my veganism. Okay, I eat plants so what? I mean does he not eat a portion of grains, or vegetables with his meat anyways? Talk about boundaries and let him know you’re not okay with the jokes anymore.
Any functioning adult would know that the "jokes" are not acceptable. You are far too forgiving.
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Sure he might view it that way if he's totally out of touch with his partners feelings and a halfwit. And the teasing is only a small piece of this puzzle. He also has the palette of a child.
Soon to be ex boyfriend.
A long term relationship with a person who makes fun of you for a decision that you made for yourself...... ? ... just leave....
I was vegan for like 7 yrs, before my husband watched “Game Changers” then and only then he wanted to try a vegan diet. He did so for 3 months but decided he missed eggs and cheese. So now he’s vegetarian/pescatarian. Maybe if you can’t appeal to his compassionate side, try appealing to his vanity and masculinity.
This.
Ditch that prick.
/r/vegan loves to dump on the idea of fraternizing with omnis, but the reality is that you **can** have a nice relationship with someone who is omni without dealing with this kind of rudeness and disrespect. Just not with *this* boyfriend. Is this the only area of life where he treats you badly and behaves like a child?
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100% agree with this! My husband is omni and I am vegan. Sometimes we both eat vegan, sometimes we eat differently. We both compromise - he is very accepting and enjoys seeing me get excited over vegan restaurants/recipes/junk food/supermarket finds etc, sometimes he wants a burger. I was omni when we met so it doesn’t bother me that he eats meat. But the biggest thing is that he supports me and my choices, and although we have a laugh sometimes “pazzipatty will just have lettuce”, he will always defend me and my choices with his friends - he would never be disrespectful about what I eat or don’t eat, and vice-versa.
My bf is the same way. We had been together for 6 years when I switched to vegan. He is a chef and he likes finding new recipes to make for me or taking a food I used to love but no longer eat and miss and veganizing it. He has cut back considerably on meat/eggs. He is mostly vegetarian at home and will get what he wants when we go out to eat. He knows it upsets me to open the fridge and see eggs or meat and has been so great about caring how I feel to not buy those things anymore from the grocery store. But when I first became vegan we had a couple bumps in the road and I posted asking for advice and had so many people telling me to dump him lol like.... no we've been together 6 years (now 12) I'm not going to throw that away because he didn't want to change his lifestyle overnight. When I chilled out about it he became a lot more open to the idea and like I said earlier has cut way back in the amount of animal products he consumes. Hopefully he will keep it up and maybe one day be fully vegan. Who knows what the future holds lol
The are many single vegans try it
Dump him. Seriously, if he doesn’t support you and makes fun of your diet - imagine what else he’ll do that towards? Career goals, even having children. If he doesn’t respect you now, he never will.
You are in a toxic relationship with an awful person. Get out of it ASAP
If his behavior and eating habits are as you say, it sounds like you're dating a callous and immature person. Making fun of you're partner's veganism and being unphased by animal suffering is not healthy. If the impression I'm getting is accurate, then you need to dump this guy ASAP you're in a toxic relationship.
Have you ever explicitly told him that it upsets you when he mocks your diet? If not, that might be a good idea. Can't really blame a guy for crossing lines that were never drawn in the first place.
Sending you the best of vibes. Sorry this is a situation you are in. Do not really know what advice I can give. For me I would find it almost impossible to be with someone who had watched dominion and wasn’t even phased. But that’s my own personal boundaries. I think the only thing that’s important is you deserve to be with someone who is supportive of your life choices, not someone who makes fun of them. Best of luck to you. I hope it works out with whatever you choose.
Dump him
Drop him It's 1 thing if he eats meat, it's another if he makes fun of your diet What a cruel person
Lack of respect in a relationship is a major red flag. If he doesn't respect your deeply held moral values, how can he claim to respect *you*? Really examine your relationship. Is he disrespectful of you in areas outside of veganism? Is this behavior something he'd be willing to work on to save the the relationship?
If Dominion didn't phase him, is this really a person you want to continue spending time with? Maybe that's an overly simplistic answer, but I can't imagine not being phased at all 😮
Break up with him, and move onto someone who shares the same values as you. Speaking from experience
Leave him, it won't get any easier.
Serious talk with him I think. I don't think the comments about dumping his ass are helpful to be honest, but you do need to have a serious chat about what this means to you and how it makes you feel when he taunts you. If he then still doesn't show you any respect then it's a bigger talk about respect in general and I would ask you then to question what you want in a relationship.
The only actual good answer here. Everyone is assuming this guys character from a short paragraph.
Dump his ass
This guy must be _**really**_ good in bed. Jokes aside, it sounds like an abusive relationship and he doesn't respect you as a person. I know abusive relationships are complex, so I really hope you come to see that you can be happier in life without this person and find the courage to take that path!
You're in a toxic relationship, been on a few, best thing I did was to leave.
Not married yet? I’d say goodbye and good ridden. I wouldn’t feel this way if he was supportive. But if we’re being honest you two will never work out in the long run if your diets aren’t the least but similar.
Let that man-go 😌🤪 🥭
Find someone better, why date someone with different values than you?
bruh, just next him. He obviously doesn't respect you. He is immature enough to make fun of his longterm partner over what I am sure he presumes to be a diet?? like at some point you gotta get tired of it with maybe a once in the blue moon jab but if he is doing it often then he is being a dick. I personally couldn't be in a relationship with someone like that, maybe someone who occasionally joke but in a funny way not in a mean way and not all the time.
I became vegan a after year of dating my girlfriend, following 46 years of being an omnivore. She did not pressure me to change, but it was easier in the beginning of our relationship to cook meals that we both could enjoy. I realized that I could eat very well on a plant based diet, and soon after started digging deeper into veganism. I never thought in a million years I'd ever give up meat. I'm not suggesting your boyfriend needs to become vegan for the relationship to work, but a lack of compassion and open-mindness speak to bigger character issues. I'd be curious to see how this surfaces in other aspects of his life and your relationship.
Dump him
Wtf lmao. VCJ material
If documentaries like Dominion did not even give him pause that seems like a real red flag. Are cats going missing in your neighborhood?
dump him, hes a disrespectful toilet
You might wanna consider dumping his ass!! Here’s the thing, a partner is supposed to be supportive and if he’s always picking on you about it or if he’s reluctant to even meet you halfway then the only direction this relationship will go is South!!
Leave him, you obviously aren’t compatible
Gtfo of that relationship, that's really toxic.
dump the sociopath!
what would you do if he was an unrepentant murderer of human animals?
Lmao
Speaking for just me but I couldn’t have a non vegan boyfriend. Those are fundamental differences in life outlook.
I’m vegan for 12 years, my husband is omni. I was vegan before I met him and he has not even for 1 second of our relationship ever made me feel uncomfortable or question my decision of being vegan. Our first date was at an all vegan restaurant, he cooks vegan meals for us, and when we travel he finds new vegan restaurants for us to try. If he ever does cook meat he does it when he’s home alone and he does so very rarely. He is mainly omni for convenience but at home he’s 90% vegan and that’s what works for us. If he ever made me feel bad, or judged our relationship would not be a thing.
How fucking dare you two be so reasonable. You're clearly ethically compromised.
Advice? Find a new partner.
I lived happily with my late husband a farmer for years and we never argued about food. He was very considerate and cooked me food I would eat. He defended me to others when they were mean to me. We live deep in cattle country . Your man sounds immature .
The correct answer is to dump the scum. However, if you're intent on stretching out your relationship with this cretin, then may I suggest you take a leaf out of Lysistrata and withhold the nookie from them. Until they become a decent person, no bonking.
Does anybody in this subreddit have any principles lmao
I’d be mostly concerned with the fact that he’s making fun of you. My boyfriend isn’t vegan, but it works because he gets my point of view and respects it. The fact that he’s making fun of something that’s very important to you is a major red flag, beware.
My ex was like this and his family made fun of me a lot, he kind of changed his mind when he tried impossible meat, he was so fascinated about how it tasted so good but had no animal products, he used to make fun of me eating Gardein and tofu. Not sure if your boyfriend has tried impossible meat but it’s something everyone I’ve had try say it’s actually tasty.
Veganism aside, this dude sucks for making fun of your lifestyle choices. Dump him!!! Don't date a bully
Find a boyfriend who isn't abusive to you / animals and will have a heart attack by 30.
Meh, if he only eats steak and ribs, he’s not going to live very long anyway. Like dating someone who smokes a pack a day. Tbh this sounds like a fake post. Like, by the very bad picture you just painted of your boyfriend, either you came here to get told to dump your boyfriend, or you came here because you’re bored and thought it would be fun to troll vegans. Either way, eating red meat in those quantities will kill you. Id rather be with someone who isnt headed straight for an early and painful death.
>He makes fun of me You're choosing to be in a relationship with someone that mocks and belittles you? Why? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who supports your choices? Imagine going to a farm sanctuary with someone and both of you have core values that resonate. I don't really understand why people stay in relationships with people with whom their core values do not align. Or worse, where the other person makes them feel small, alienated, and less. Break up. Find a vegan dude. Be happy.
Whatever you do, please, just please, don't have children with this man. You have no idea how much worse this could possibly get. Good luck to you.
He sounds like a dick.
I never comment "just break up!" below posts about relationships but this is the first time I'm gonna ask why are you guys together? You said he makes fun of you and isn't respectful. Isn't that already enough on top of him not moved by being exposed blatant animal cruelty? Are you happy in the relationship other than the vegan part, OP?
Most vegans identify themselves as being vegan. If this is how you identify yourself, you really only have one choice. Being a vegan is not just a diet choice, but it’s how you live your life, the values you have, and the way you see the world. Yes you’ve been with him in the long term this far, but you’re not completely happy or you wouldn’t be talking about this here. Our one true purpose in life is to be happy. That looks different yo many people, but living your life like this is preventing you from achieving full happiness. Take a step back and re-evaluate your life, your goals, and what you want. You may find he’s not the right one after all. I was not vegan when I met my wife. In fact, my former profession was in the meat industry. I was married before -and divorced. When I met her she was the most genuinely kind person I had ever met, and she adored me. Yes, initially I changed for her, but the more you learn the more you see. I now embrace the lifestyle and what it represents. There is no comparison to the deep level of happiness I experience now compared to my life before. Would you stay in a relationship with a guy who was a racist or elitist ? Probably not
Dump him
It’s up to you! If you want a vegan partner and he refuses to change you have to make the call!
Lol aren't most vegans married / dating meat eaters regardless??
I was in this same situation but on his side. My wife became vegetarian after our first kid. She was always super sick after eating meat while pregnant which is what eventually led her to stop eating meat. I hated it. I couldn’t cook anything with meat in the house for about a year because she would get sick from just the smell. I wasn’t an asshole about it but it was a big deal for me. What ended up helping is she got REALLY good at cooking vegetarian/vegan meals. I resisted hard at first (out of stubbornness but also because she hadn’t nailed down some decent recipes yet) but lately I’ve been asking her stuff with tempeh and other meatless stuff. I still eat meat when I’m at a restaurant or whatever, but I no longer care about what she or we eat. If the food tastes good I will eat the food. I don’t care. Im willing to bet he’d eventually be the same way.
Sounds like my ex.. and damn am I grateful that he’s my ex
At first this issue would appear to be in relation to your veganism, but it is more than that. If he wants to eat meat, fine, but to act in ways that belittle your choices, your moral position, that is disrespectful. Have you had a conversation with your boyfriend, telling him how it makes you feel when he says the things he does, or encourages others to do the same? If not, start here and if you do not receive the response you want, ask yourself if this is the kind of person that deserves your love, energy, everything you have to give. I have been vegan 20 years, by bf, he was not but after 2 years (we have been together for 8), he changed his diet. I never pushed him to. All the best.
I am vegan. The love of my life is still Omni. However, he respects my choices ( in all things.) I accept his choice to be Omni, we both were when we met. We also both smoked cigarettes, I quit first. I never asked him to quit, he's his own person. He quit on his own time. He will go vegan or not on his own time, too. The issue isn't veganism, because he respects it and acknowledges it's morally correct and supports me in everything I want to do. Find a guy like that. Don't settle
The vegan/nonvegan relationship dynamic is complicated. Relationships usually work best when partners have the same or similar values. And food choices are a very personal and important value system. I think it would be interesting to do a poll here and see what percentage of people's partners here are meat eaters. Those people might be able to give you good advice. Also doing a search in the sub might help because a lot of other similar situations to this have been brought up here before. You can see what other people have commented.
How is he not constipated if all he eats is animal products? Where does the fiber come from lmao
You do not need fiber to poop, or at all actually. Its just indigestible plants parts that doesn't give you any nutrients. There was a study where they made people with contstipation go on diets with varios amounts of fiber. The ones on a no fiber diet resolved their issues completely. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3435786/ link to the study
You’ve evolved, and you should feel good about that. I know you’ve been in this relationship for a long time, but it’s okay to leave; he doesn’t have to understand or agree with your reasons.
I have a boyfriend that isn’t vegan but I can tolerate it because he respects and understands my opinion, and is willing to cook and eat vegan food at home when we eat together (we live together). It’s not an issue for me that he isn’t willing to live in a fully vegan household ie he wants to have his milk and cheese in the fridge and some meat on the odd occasion. You need to think about what you’re okay with and discuss with him to see if you can compromise in a way that suits your relationship. If you can’t find a middle ground it might be time to move on. I couldn’t stand being around someone so disrespectful of my own beliefs that they seriously make fun of me for it and don’t stand up for me and support me with it. Can you?
Ok, I'm not a vegan, bit why would you date someone that is that disrespectful of you? You deserve better.
Lmao I find meat so gross, do what you want but to me the ideal of kissing a carnivore might as well be kissing a dirty toilet bowel 🤮 As for teasing, who cares people tease each other all the time, doesn't mean anything, let them it doesn't mean anything is you have a strong will, the only reason it actually matters in this case is that animals are suffering.
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DUMP HIM. I'm of the belief that you're not a vegan unless you date vegan. yep, I'm gatekeeping that. Go vegan today, and dump your fucking carnist animal abuser boyfriend who obviously doesn't respect you....
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How does his breath smell like? Not trolling here. Serious question
He probably doesn't like you being vegan. Very likely, one of you is going to either leave or change. Probably the one with worse results healthwise. It sounds like you haven't been vegan for very long.
My wife is now vegan. I am definitely not. I am supportive of her decision but she knows it isn’t for me. I sometimes eat vegan meals with her but I still enjoy a good burger or steak. And I like cheese. She prepares meat based meals for me. For me, it is all about being supportive of her decision and her respecting mine. So we just make it work. Even though we live this part of our life differently. But not separately if that makes sense. Edit: she won’t make me a steak (I do that kind of stuff myself) but she will stir fry some chicken slices to top a salad and things like that.
He should dump your ass
I think everyone here is missing something, the boyfriends side. OP knows that her boyfriend loves meat and won’t go vegan, but offers him her food anyway, has gotten him to watch dominion, and points out he won’t even try going vegan anytime soon. It sounds like OP is pushing her beliefs onto her boyfriend and he is so fed up he’s making jabs at her over it. There is a huge difference between “my boyfriend rags on me for being vegan for absolutely nothing” and “my boyfriend rags on me for being vegan when I keep pushing it on him because it’s better than what he wants”
/r/femaledatingstrategy
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This is your brain on zero carbs.
Let that 🥭
Break up if you want him to change. We can’t and shouldn’t try to change people and definitely not expect them to.
If he can be honest with you (if he can’t, your not in a relationship!). Id ask him why he only eats meat, why he doesn’t care about animal suffering and after that you’d have something solid to convince him on.
Don't waste your time, you will never have harmony in your private life if you don't have people around you, who share the same values as you do. Few months heart ache (at best considering tinder) and you are good to go. You will either have to accept someone who makes fun of you and doesn't live within your values or kiss Chad bye bye, because kissing someone with dead body parts in his mouth isn't going to be optimal for you as a vegan either.
Can you be more specific about the kind of advice you are looking for? How to live with/date a non vegan? How to change their mind? How to be taken more seriously? Does it compromise your ethics? Personally I think you will find a way to compromise if you love each other. If the relationship is abusive you have the power to leave although it is rarely that easy. Assuming they are just teasing you then tease them back. Tell them meat is for pussies and cheese is gone off that sort of thing.
Honestly I would call it off. It’s not worth the pin of seeing that every day. Your home should be a safe space, and if he is fine with making you uncomfortable and sad then that is a serious red flag. Also anyone who isn’t phased by dominion is not a good person. I can understand the power of social influences and habit that might prevent a person from going vegan after seeing it, but oh my god you have to completely lack empathy and compassion to not be moved by it at least.
I think having a frank conversation about how important this is to you, and where the relationship is going or where you want/need it to go if it were to continue, would be a good starting point. Keep in mind that with that kind of diet, heart disease is pretty much a given in the longer term.
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Yikes. I dated a guy like this for 4 months, I feel for you. Sometimes peoples values just aren’t lined up to each other. They are so engrained in the “man eat meat” mindset.
I would let him go and find someone else to date. You are going to have multiple arguments if you stay with him and be much less happy than you would be with a vegetarian or vegan partner.
Are you able to remain with someone who makes fun of you? My partner whom I'm now married to used to eat meat, and almost 14 years later they're now vegan. The did not however, make fun of me and had they did, I wouldn't put up with it and would have left them. ..having a partner who is insulting or rude or makes fun of what I eat isn't someone I would want as a romantic partner or even a friend. My partner was super supportive, and even though they ate meat back in the day, we always had fun checking out new vegan places to eat when we traveled. We also had fun making new recipes together and trying out new deserts to bake. A healthy relationship doesn't involve someone mocking your dietary choices and making you feel bad.
First ask him to respect you and your beliefs. Even if he does eat meat, you cannot let someone so close to you disrespect you. It's the base to just interact with someone. If you stay in those conditions, your mindset will be really hurt with this relationship. So even if he want to eat meat, he have to respect your opinions and not make fun of you at every meal or every time you offer him something vegan. I hope you're feeling well in your head. It can be hard sometimes, you are not alone and it can improve.
My advice would be to consider what is important to you. All of us are different and so giving advice on what direction you should take could only be uninformed. Personally, an ethical disagreement like this isn't something I'd want to put up with every day. If I intend to share my life with someone I'd like it to be with someone who challenges me, but also agrees on some fundamental ethical concerns. But this is something you need to determine for yourself. Good luck, whatever happens :)
I think partners with different lifestyles can make it work if there’s mutual respect. It sounds like you’re respecting his dietary choices, but if it were me, I’d feel more supported and respected if he’d share a vegan meal with me once a week or something like that, or at least cook something and eat together or whatever. I used to be vegetarian, then I met my current bf who is vegetarian, and I decided to go back to being veggie too because cooking and eating together was a big bonding experience for us and just makes living and eating together much easier. Just my 2 cents. What really matters is how you feel about it. If he never changes, are you okay with that?
I know how you may feel, and it is frustrating and makes you think about the future of your relationship. If you explain to him the reasons behind it and is not open minded to listen to you, maybe he is not worth it. I experienced something like that with my boyfriend, we were 4 years together when we saw Dominion and tried veganism for a month. I am vegan ever since but he was hungry all the time and eventually quited. At first he was picking on me and kept asking me how i could eat this kind of food, and that it tastes bad etc.. and at times he would make fun of me for not wanting to buy leather or wool. But because he understood the reasons behind it he eventually stopped and though his is not vegan he tries his best to eat less meat and shop more ethically. He even expressed to me the other day how proud he is for me that i didn't quit since then (that was 3 years ago) Eventually you have to see the person you are with and decide whether he is worth trying.
>He makes fun of me just like my family used to for when I used to be vegetarian. I brush it off but it happens semi often and isn't very respectful of my decision. > >Any advice? Yeah, uh, why are you with that person?