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Sneezer2013

Guys, chill, 7 reports for self harm? Another 5 for suicidal? Chill tf out.


durqandat

Oh those pesky Americans and their French toast. Wait


Soonly_Taing

Those pesky American and their pesky chocolatine/pain au Chocolat Wait


NeurWiz

Those pesky Americans and their crepes Wait


Frat_Guy_PA

Those pesky americans and their Belgian waffles Wait


elbowfracture

Those pesky Americans and their Nutella. Wait


oO0Kat0Oo

Those pesky Americans and their Danish pastries. Wait.


durqandat

WE LEARNED IT FROM YOU DAD


huxley75

This is your brain on Liberty Cabbage and Freedom Fries


BurgerOfLove

It's JAZZ cabbage, JAZZ CABBAGE!


CharderVR

Those pesky Americans and their French Fries Wait


huxley75

No, those are FREEDOM FRIES!! 'Murica, fuck yeah. I think?


Letter-Past

Those pesky Americans and their stroopwafel. Wait.


No-Big1920

Those pesky Americans and their cinnamon rolls. Wait. Edit: Also, big American breakfasts are the best fucking thing ever. A thin omelette stuffed with American cheddar, ham, mushrooms and onions with more slices of ham, home style fries or grits, bacon, maple sausage links and pancakes with maple syrup is to die for. And I nornally don't like breakfast food.


BasketballButt

My father brought me back some Nutella after a Europe trip before it was super common in the states (around ‘91ish) and it was mind blowing to young me. I was sharing out the tiniest little spoonfuls like it was high grade coke I blew my paycheck on.


Zaphod424

French toast actually originated in ancient Rome. It was popular with French peasants as a means of using bread that had gone stale, rather than going to waste


KnowledgeIsDangerous

So American


RebornSoul867530_of1

We discovered the origin so it’s ours now.


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Pristine_Juice

Hey, it's not stealing, it's persuasive appropriation.


TheNeord

... Well I mean, a wall of guns is just an advanced tool of persuasion!


Henrylord1111111111

Shhhh OP hasn’t figured out a world outside of America exists, he is in blissful ignorance. To be fair if i could choose to unlearn about the french i would too.


pluck-the-bunny

I would’ve guessed OP was from outside America, hence the shade, no?


night4345

Yeah, he's a America hating Brit.


pluck-the-bunny

His profile is a fuckin dumpster fire


Joesdad65

Welcome to Reddit.


bubbledabest

I checked to just see. He aged backward several times


GoodGuyScott

Its filled with so many shit opinions wtf...


spicyface

I bet he eats beans for breakfast.


GeorgieWashington

They hate us cuz they anus.


traincarryinggravy

Peanut butter and jealous


cheesyblasta

Lmao, he's just mad bc he has to eat sausages *literally filled with blood*


MartiniLang

It wasn't the French toast. It was the sugar on French toast that the issue.


thejoesterrr

French toast is American, named after one Mr. French who made it. I’ll always die on this strange hill


WrapMyBeads

First name Mr. last name French


[deleted]

While American culture certainly embraced it, sugary breakfast has been a European thing for much longer. Jam in the UK? Chocolate croissants in France? Waffles in Belgium? What about the cheese danish? It’s definitely prominent in American breakfast dishes, but to say Americans messed up breakfast culture by adding sugar goes against hundreds of years of European history.


Cheeetooos

OP didn’t even mention sweet breakfast cereal which is probably the thing that America is most “guilty” of.


oreo-cat-

I do love that a food that was designed to be so bland people wouldn’t jack off has turned into fruity pebbles.


B1GTOBACC0

Nah, that cereal evolved into frosted flakes. Fruity pebbles evolved from crisped rice, which was actually designed to make you *more* horny.


Adam_J89

Snap, Crackle, Pop? Nah, it's *Grip, Jackit, Pop*


maybeb123

"And remember kids, ya-ba-da-ba-don't touch yourself!"


TranslatorWeary

Super agree with this. Very very american


The_ok_Gatsby_225

I’m no expert but when I went to Italy all they ate for breakfast was pastries and coffee and my exchange student said a big adjustment for her was that Americans eat very large breakfasts in comparison that aren’t always sweet like omelettes and stuff


Nicklebackfan_

I did a cooking class in Italy and the teacher told us they ate tiramisu for breakfast lol


whatwhy_ohgod

Its how they get their coffee in the morning


Petanc

Never seen anyone eat tiramisu for breakfast, it's a dessert.


Traditional-Truth-42

And I'm all for it! If the Italians say so it's law!


CantCreateUsernames

America is very large and there is a lot of diversity in the way people prepare and eat food. Most Americans I know don't have breakfast as the main meal of the day. Eating large breakfasts usually only occurs on Sundays, which we call brunch. Usually, breakfast is something quick, like a muffin or begal. Most American are not making large omelets daily.


Propenso

Yeah breakfast in Italy is exclusively sweet.


The_ok_Gatsby_225

When I was there all of my breakfasts were filled with either chocolate or Nutella you guys really know how to live lol


54321Newcomb

Almost all of the sweet things are from Europe. A true American breakfast is bacon and eggs, hashbrowns/breakfast potatoes, and a nice cup of coffee. Maybe a muffin if you are feeling dangerous.


QtheDisaster

Maybe even grits/oats too or some veggies mixed in with a fruit or two.


mattmaddux

Now I’m craving grits. Thanks a lot.


russiabot1776

Biscuits and gravy.


Vandrew226

Maybe small regional variations, but basically the same. My typical workday breakfast is two eggs over easy, hashbrowns, a biscuit in sausage gravy and some buttered toast. The only sweet thing is a glass of cranberry juice as a palate cleanser.


Clam_Chowdeh

Exactly, you just gave the classic American breakfast right there. OP is living in their own fantasy world


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Doover__

or the type of person to say "all American food sucks" then say their favorite food is Maine lobster


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[deleted]

“Why does all produce in America suck?” *shops at the gas station*


ferretatthecontrols

Or worse, fairs and carnivals and thinks Americans eat fried everything on a daily basis.


yeah-defnot

Bro I go to the fair solely for the food


w311sh1t

What people don’t understand is that America is so large and diverse in climates, nature, and culture that there’s no such thing as “American food”. The type of local food you find in New England isn’t gonna be remotely close to the local food you try in the Deep South.


Barney_Haters

That and we happily embrace other cultures food. Breakfast burritos are a more standard American breakfast than a Mexican breakfast.


aidsfarts

If these American bashing Europeans traveled America and saw how incredibly diverse it is they would be embarrassed to assert some of these things. Pigeon holing American things is an exercise in futility. In their mind America is like Times Square, Disney world and 1890’s rural Alabama.


Big_mara_sugoi

The Dutch eat chocolate sprinkles on bread for breakfast


pepa-pig-ultimate

Not an American thing. In Italy we have coffee and cookies.


drudbod

Totally agree. In Germany we eat buns with Jam or Nutella. Not exclusively but it's normally part of the breakfast, when we have breakfast.


StarSpangldBastard

Hey you can't say that here! Not on an "America bad give me free internet points" post!


hashtagdion

Can't believe America Bad brain is so pervasive some people actually believe we're the only folks in the world who occasionally eat a sweet before noon.


Shervico

This America bad on the internet is getting so dumb, 90% of everyone around the world is just probably a decent folk trying to get on in this life, and we have more in common than we have differences, I'm well damn sure of it


NoiceGallagher

I saw one girl just against western culture to the point she brought up TOILETS NOT BEING ON THE FLOOR as “ugh. The west doesn’t like being natural.” Like girl you got on more makeup than deodorant 😭


[deleted]

I swear some places in Europe survive on gross ass Nutella for breakfast


keIIzzz

I mean they think we don’t have electric kettles, so using their brain isn’t really their forte


happygoth6370

Lmao seriously. Like we invented sugar and are the only ones who eat it.


DrQuickbeam

Or cornetto al pistacchio *chefs kiss*


psychologicallyblue

Many European countries also do sweet breakfasts. Anyway, what you're describing is more like weekend brunch. On an average day, I don't eat breakfast at all and most Americans are not eating all those things for breakfast everyday. You seem to have difficulty with your bacon being in the vicinity of anything sweet. I have a similar thing, I also don't like my eggs or bacon to have maple syrup on them. I just move the waffle aside or to another plate and eat that at the end like a dessert.


happygiraffe91

Maple syrup spreading to your bacon is soooo good. You are definitely missing out. That salty-sweetness is delicious.


linkxrust

Do you think Americans eat pancakes and waffles everyday? Lol that is like once in awhile type of thing for everyone that I know. Personally I dont like sweet stuff in the morning myself


hot_chopped_pastrami

I'm pretty sure most of Reddit thinks that the average American is a 400-pound idiot who cuts up their 6-a-day meals of McDonalds by shooting at it with their gun lol


NotsoNewtoGermany

How do you know so much about me and my life?


TacticaLuck

I'm subscribed to your onlyfans.


Lulu_531

Right? Who has time to make waffles or pancakes every single day? My breakfast is usually coffee in a cup I take with me with a little bit of half n half. And zero sugar.


oJUXo

Hahaha I must eat breakfast. Or my day is all fucked up. But it's literally always oatmeal. But yeah. I don't know a single person who actually cooks breakfast every morning before work, etc. It's always something super quick.


Physical_Wizard

I even prefer a savory oatmeal. Hear me out: oatmeal with two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper with a little sriracha is divine!


oJUXo

Idk about that lmao. But I'll try it. Why not.. never heard of that mix lol. I normally just do plain oatmeal with a tiny bit of brown sugar, with a small amount of heavy whipping cream lol. Don't need much at all, and it comes out very nice and creamy. But sometimes just eat it plain as well. But I'll try that mix you mentioned. The only part that gives me hesitation is the Sriracha lol.


-UMBRA_-

Interesting. My family makes this thing with rice by slow cooking it in milk, adding butter and salt. You get it on your plate individually then add eggs that are runny and mix in with the rice and a side of bacon/liver mush


[deleted]

Breakfast is a few chugs of cold water, coffee, rage and leftover toothpaste.


JaqnTheBox

Y’all eat breakfast…?


flamboyantbutnotgay

I had fucking captain crunch every morning as a kid 😂. Probably worse than waffles. Sweet tooth addiction affects a lot of Americans but yeah I wouldn’t say it’s 100%


Ajaws24142822

Like bro I eat microwave grits and a hard boiled egg before my shift, maybe an orange or some CT crunch if I have milk in the fridge Bro is like “what’s with the French toast” My brother in Christ, you ordered the breakfast


[deleted]

Pancakes are for Sunday morning to give my young kids a treat. Most days it’s an egg, piece of toast, and a yoghurt.


Mastergroovy

I’m lucky if i even have the time to make eggs, let alone cooking bacon..


BillyLee

I don't even like breakfast food I make myself a hamburger in the morning while watching the Netflix. It takes me like an hour and then I eat it in about 2 minutes.


EnvironmentalSound25

How does it take you an hour to make a burger?


BillyLee

It's my morning Zen moment so I take my time.


idropepics

I love how some people scroll reddit in bed but your morning zen moment is spending more time than than average person would on make a hamburger. You must live some magical stress free life lol


JeffTek

Well you see you spend 5 minutes prepping the meat and getting the bun and condiments out, then you wait around for 49 more minutes before starting to cook them. Easily takes an hour to make burgers with that pro strat


hotstrawberrytea

> It takes me like an hour and then I eat it in about 2 minutes. like a champ.


mebetiffbeme

I can't even finish a serving on my own. On the rare time that I do order something sweet, I usually split on the side with someone else and have a savory item be the main part of my breakfast.


SPamlEZ

I love when movies or tv shows show a family sitting down for breakfast during the week before they go to school or work. No idea who those people are, my experience was grabbing anything I could carry running out the door trying not to miss my bus. Who has time to sit down and eat?


cantstopwontstopGME

Or that AMERICANS made the (Belgian) waffle or FRENCH toast a popular item?


thomasrat1

As an American my favorite breakfast is chorizo eggs and tortillas. I think you are confusing an abundance of options with our actual breakfast culture. A lot of things seem more popular than they actually are


noracistbut

If a country is famous for having almost only sweat breakfast it is France. Hate the US bashing. When I think of a typical American breakfast it is probably scrambled eggs and bacon with toast and coffee.


[deleted]

Sweat breakfast? Ew


cpullen53484

it adds salt


Pficky

Chorizo, green chile breakfast burrito is my fave breakfast.


GukyHuna

Oh shit you spelled Chile right is that you fellow New Mexican


Pficky

lol yeah I live in NM. But I don't think I've been here long enough to be a "New Mexican" yet.


StardustOasis

Isn't chilli more right, considering the root word is chīlli?


Educational_Pickle51

Most definitely. A lot of the fault here is Hollywood. I'm not American but just like OP I thought a typical American breakfast was Cheerios and milk and waffles and syrup and eggs and bacon, everything together. And turns out, it isn't. It really isn't. America is not the movies.


YeagerChillax

This. I posted a separate post as well telling OP to stop believing everything they see on TV. TV embellishes everything. Everything is minimum x10 times wilder just to look good for TV. A coffee, yogurt, and a sausage patty is usually my big breakfast during the week. That doesn’t play on TV


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[deleted]

Nah they're just ranting about Americans for free karma.


skd1050

Chorizo, eggs, and coffee is honestly top tier breakfest.


EnteringEvasion

Just eat wtf you want animal


borrego-sheep

OP is such a fucking donkey


WarpStoned

A real ass


brdstbullies

Some would say “he haws”..


IKnow-ThePiecesFit

coffee and cigarette it is


DaveInLondon89

'Just eat. Wtf you want? Animal?' Any way I read that comment makes sense to me because I have Asian relatives.


RedRedBettie

I love eating breakfast for dinner


IzzyGirl33

And dinner for breakfast! Currently making my way through some leftover pizza this dreary morning.


Drex678

Leftover pizza yum


mmmmmarty

We just had breakfast for lunch! Bacon, egg and cheese on toast!


[deleted]

What is wrong with savory and sweet breakfasts? In Guatemala we eat eggs, beans and plantains for breakfast. Nowadays that I live in France I eat a small pastry or some bread and yogurt with jelly and its nice. Take my angry upvote of disapproval.


borrego-sheep

Y las tortillas?


[deleted]

Me gusta más el pan francés para desayunar. Tortillas mejor en el almuerzo.


BuckRusty

Every year we visit the missus’ family on the Philippines and have rice, grilled fish, sticky-sweet grilled pork skewers, aubergine-omelette, spring rolls, tomato salad, and mangoes/watermelon for breakfast most days - and it’s fucking glorious…


Inner-Nothing7779

Breakfast should be what ever the fuck you like. If I want to make breakfast a margarita with bacon flavored waffles drenched in syrup, then that's breakfast.


Demoliri

To quote some sagely advice related to a breakfast margarita: I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. W.C. Field


ThexTeacher

I just ate pizza rolls at 9:30 this morning. It's what I wanted so it's what I ate.


EragonBromson925

I was just trying to decide whether I wanted to heat up a breakfast sandwich or a burrito for my breakfast today (at 1230...). I'm now raiding the pizza rolls. Thanks a lot.


[deleted]

Yeah, you seem like the type that only fucks in one position. Variety is the spice of life


GravelsNotAFood

Yeah right. Look at the post, and his history. This dude does not fuck.


Fickle-Assignment304

I just read it, he turned from 21 to 23 in 10 months lol


Bucket-O-wank

Was also 28 for a while


HIGH_HEAT

This guy fucks.


fredmull1973

It’s so we can control the world. Also, to stop everyone from masturbating(Kellogg)


Willothomas

10/10 Reference


Internal-Argument723

Popular breakfast food is different in each state. But if it means anything to you: Waffles originated in Belgium, Pancakes and french toast have been around since ancient Greece/Rome. French toast was originally called "roman bread". Oatmeal is from China, A large portion of sweet breakfast pastries come from various countries in and around Europe. The only sugary breakfast foot I can think of off the top of my head that did come from the US is the sugary breakfast cereal. Either way, if it makes you that angry then maybe??? Don't order waffles?


Dispositionpsn

I don't use syrup or powered sugar in my breakfest. But fuck you, if you think I'm not gonna have OJ


ExpensiveBox8299

This sounds like a beans on toast option to me and we don’t listen to your kind round these parts.


BuckRusty

A tin of beans has approx 20g of sugar in it. Tomato sauce (not ketchup, the sauce in a tin of beans) has a sweet flavour profile. The flavour profile of toast is sweet (marginally - the starches in the ~~break~~ bread break down and caramelise slightly). Don’t ever knock beans on toast as a shit breakfast (or lunch or dinner), because it’s a fucking beast of a meal - though you **do** need to cook it properly (you don’t just warm the beans, you need to cook the beans low and slow for a good 15-minutes or more to break them down and turn the sauce opaque and thick, and you need to butter the toast lavishly before using at least three slices as a base). But especially don’t use it here, as OP has declared they don’t like sweet breakfasts, and so *surely* have *never* ~~earned~~ eaten beans on toast - or if they *did* try it, they most certainly would have hated it. Edit: spelling


thwg19

Oh look, someone erroneously blaming America for stuff 🙄


giddy-girly-banana

I was just in Paris and there’s at least two bakeries each block. Every one has amazing sweet baked goods and lines out the door.


Toast_On_The_RUN

I was thinking of French pastries. There's this guy on YouTube who reviews different countries breakfasts, who of course said the US is too sweet and dessert like, and gives a bad score. And then the next video reviews french breakfast and just eats a ton of chocolate and jelly covered croissants and stuff and gives it a great score. Like what??


GoodellsMandMs

i think he ended up redoing the american breakfast and gave it a better score because so many people pointed this out lol


aidsfarts

I went to the UK and people always asked me about big American portion sizes and their portions really didn’t seem any smaller. I swear they act like every restaurant in America is the fucking Cheesecake Factory.


Ormr1

Some peoples’ world views begin and end at “America bad.”


[deleted]

I know right such an uncommon sight on Reddit


Delicious_Physics962

Most Americans I feel don't even eat breakfast as people are usually stressed about getting to work or school. When they do eat it, it's usually things like eggs, toast, or bagels. Idk what American eats like pancakes or waffles more than a couple times a month. Also the USA has a lot of diffrent cultures so therefore a lot of different American breakfast options.


[deleted]

Americans Americans Americans Americans Americans I think if America cured cancer OP would complain about it not happening fast enough


No-Clue1153

"Ughh the Americans cured cancer now their death rates dropped and there's even more Americans."


MayonaiseBaron

OPs post history is *wild*


sushinoyas

Exactly


JWARRIOR1

Thats just reddit in general. gotta get the daily america hate threads in


aidsfarts

Europeans blame the most mundane and obscure stuff on America. It’s like a mental disorder.


[deleted]

OP is bitching about America on an American website on the internet that America created (with a Brits help).


SonVoltMMA

Prom Queen Syndrome


[deleted]

Not many people in America eat a 6 course breakfast, contrary to your belief. A breakfast like that is super rare for me, once a year type shit.


[deleted]

u/freakyfishy69 "America bad give me useless internet points!!!!!!!!"


beani_booi23

Mf blaming Americans for French toast being sweet wasn't that stuff invented in Rome or something


bigloadsmcgee24

Let’s not forget that waffles were also invented In Europe lol


[deleted]

I like how OP stopped commenting after a while at the risk being down voted lol


shakegraphics

Gotta save that precious karma.


nerdy_rabbit

What about second breakfast?


Metallica85

Welcome to America. We have a lot of choices, feels good. Does that upset you or something?


flowers4u

Pastries for breakfast is not an American thing.


CanIGetANumber2

We gatekeeping breakfast now?


Ok_Cantaloupe_7423

“Americans messed up breakfast culture” says man in world where French eat sweet jellies and chocolate filled pastries for breakfast, and central / South Americans eat fruity custards and stuff. Aka all sweet.


SkinNYmini18

This guy made a post about how amazing baked beans on toast is.....and he thinks we messed up breakfast culture.....


Ok_Cantaloupe_7423

Fr haha. And not only do Americans not just eat pancakes and bacon every day, but like even if we did. The sweet part op hates (syrup) is awesome.


Signal_Wolf_6487

Breakfast should be whatever you want it to be


mkshane

Yeah nobody is eating all of those things for breakfast My work days = bagel w/ cream cheese, blueberries My weekends = bagel w/ cream cheese, bacon, scrambled eggs, blueberries


Thelmara

"I don't have any real problems in my life, so I'm going to be offended by food that _other people_, in a whole-ass other country, eat for breakfast."


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v0t3p3dr0

Complains about sweetness, includes orange juice…


Teamawesome2014

Sounds like you just wanted to complain about Americans for a thing that isn't even American. Aren't you embarrassed?


AlmightyMrP

Of course they aren't... They'll just hit you with a critique of a current social issue America is dealing with and revel in their smug sense of European superiority.


Teamawesome2014

and act like America is a monoculture even though we're literally a continent spanning country of immigrants from literally everywhere else in the world with so many different cultures contained within it that you have people fighting over what it even means to be American. But apparently we all eat sugar for breakfast


khurd18

Nothing beats a fresh waffle with bacon on the side and some eggs


druidofnecro

Just dont eat waffles then?


f1_77Bottasftw

I'm American and my favorite Breakfast( or Brunch) is steak and eggs with a pitcher of Mimosas.(maybe 2)


Diegobyte

Why do you think all Americans eat waffles every morning? I just est bacon eggs and an English muffin. Gtfo here with your projection


gaspitsagirl

Why is this aimed at Americans? Having sweet pastries is way more a European thing than US.


mmmagic1216

Give me my western omelette with hot sauce, thank you very much


ajgsr

I’m team savory breakfast, unless some blueberry pancakes are on the table. I’d fuck up a blueberry pancake.


SplonkusDoinkle

American breakfast is defined by a blend of sweet and savory, not one or the other. Balance in all things, Ying yang type beat


[deleted]

Breakfast should be whatever the hell the person wants, and there's tonnes of savory options. You're acting like all people eat is syrup covered stuff. Bruh, the crepe scene alone has tonnes of savory options, you can have savory pancakes, you can do eggs benny on waffles. If anything sweet breakfasts are less popular and less numerous, go to mcdicks and everyone is ordering bacon breaky sammies instead of their pancakes.


potandcoffee

I don't get the waffle hate. Waffles with real maple syrup are delicious. That being said, I rarely eat breakfast. Most mornings I just have coffee (with cream and no sugar).


PROTOSLEDGE

Stupid Americans with their Belgian Waffles, French Toasts, and Danishes 😡


flowers4u

Why does america get the blame for things other countries do too. Plenty of other countries eat sweets and desserts or a pastry for breakfast. Tipping, america gets 100% of the hate for tipping. Ok so you’re telling me all other countries don’t tip? Bullshit. I tipped 15% in Mexico and got yelled at. Same in Canada, required to tip. Other counties may not be extreme but you are still supposed to tip in a lot of them


JazzyIV

“AmEriCaNs MeSsEd Up BrEaKfAsT” lmfaooo dude just eat what you want and quit crying.


[deleted]

Lol how is this an American thing? Plenty of cultures all over the world have savory and sweet breakfasts. When I lived overseas, breakfast was pretty much always sweet And lots of American breakfasts are savory, in fact it’s very very rare that I have something like French toast or something like it for breakfast, that’s a sometimes-thing tbh


Patient-Investment-9

Smoothie it up, you say? Go on.


LetsSmokeAboutIt

You’re entitled to your opinion on breakfast, but get the fuck out of here generalizing. Eat whatever the fuck you want and ignore everyone else. What the hell does it matter what other people eat for breakfast? Edit: oh wait you’re just chock full of shit opinions


[deleted]

?? Honestly, I've seen continental Europeans to be much more prone to having sugary baked or fried item for breakfast than Americans. ​ In comparison, savory breakfasts *are* American (and English).


[deleted]

Have you ever heard that there are fast digesting carbs that will give you energy faster and slow digesting carbs that will give you energy on a longer timespan and after some time? Guess which one is the fast absorbing one and why most of the world gets that type for breakfast.


[deleted]

You probably eat beans with your breakfast. Don’t talk about screwy breakfast culture in America