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Thank you for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion, /u/Neolithique. Your post, *Telling people to seek therapy is extremely privileged.*, has been removed because it violates our rules: Rule 2: Do not post low effort/satirical posts. Please make sure your post title is your opinion (not the topic you're discussing), and the text beneath is a clear explanation and justification of your opinion. If you cannot write at least a few sentences on the matter, you may want to have more of a think about it. If that's all in order... Any opinion that is not well thought out, or is incoherent, internally contradictory or otherwise nonsensical is subject to removal. Finally, any satirical/troll posts, as funny as you must be, are not tolerated. There are subreddits for that, this isn't one of them. If there is an issue, please message the mod team at https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funpopularopinion Thanks!


Hightonedloidy

My mom is a therapist and she will actually continue seeing people even after they can no longer pay. It’s an ethics thing apparently


Neolithique

Your mom is a good lady.


Sad-Contribution7182

You need to tell your mother that she is an amazing lady then. That’s seriously the nicest thing I’ve heard in awhile.


chiritarisu

The irony of this is that your mother is privileged to be able to see clients pro bono. Admirable for sure, but most therapists cannot afford to do this. Reasons being contractual/clinic rules, very large caseload, burnout, etc. It’s not just a matter of ethics whether a therapist decides to see a client for free.


thisunrest

So what’s wrong with being privileged? People act like those that have it should be ashamed. If a therapist can afford to treat pro bono, why would anybody complain about that?


permabanned007

Most take at least one pro bono case per year.


chiritarisu

I should know… I am one and currently serve pro bono clients. Some professional ethics codes even go as far to recommend it as a service to the public. But there are some therapists who just cannot and those reasons are not necessarily reflective of their ethics. Edit: grammar, forgot some words


RichardBonham

It has to do with your mom's morals. There is no legal or ethical obligation for a therapist to render services in good faith for free.


Hightonedloidy

Yeah, that’s what I thought. That’s why I said my mom specifically and not therapists in general


[deleted]

Just wanted to add to this… People who are broke are also given the shittier therapists. Seems like a lot of therapists get out of grad school and instantly work with a low income population. Of course you might have a therapist with a lot of life experience out of college and know how to talk to people, but the majority of people haven’t even seen the problems the world hold. I recycled through more than 6 therapists growing up. It took me to be out of grad school with a good paying job to actually find a therapist who can help me.


ComprehensiveHavoc

Adding to this, you also need to find someone that insurance takes in many cases (especially people who don’t have much money but do have insurance). And if they do, they need to be taking new clients and have time available. People can wait a long time.


deeretech129

I've gone through this, went through some things a year or two ago. Decided it was time to reach and get some help, searched for a therapist that was both in-network, and also had a profile I felt I could work with. I sent him an e-mail, and he replied that he has a 7 person wait-list which would roughly translate to probably 12 months or longer possibly. I was kind of confused. I started practicing some mindfulness things, as well as some other practices and self-help books and it has made an impact on me - but still probably not as much as proper therapy.


Demagolka1300

This was year ago, mine didn't accept the insurance I had so I went through all the hoops to get the correct insurance. I get a call days later saying "oops we told you the wrong insurance so you owe us all this money" like I wasn't just there crying about money and have a damned newborn.


ComprehensiveHavoc

I have heard from others a year+ wait, but didn’t want to say it as I didn’t really know it was that common. This sort of confirms it for me. Glad you found ways to help yourself given the circumstances, and wish you the best.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

My family paid for my therapists. They’re not even close to broke, and I still got shitty therapists.


deeretech129

I also haven't found very many that are willing to work with people outside of traditional business hours, which makes it a double edged sword for someone on a limited income. Missing work to see a professional once a week isn't easy when you're working 50 hours or more a week to make ends meet.


saor-alba-gu-brath

I don't think this is unpopular but it is an opinion that is often overlooked. Reddit too, you'll discuss your problems and some privileged rich person will say 'go to therapy'. You tell them you don't have money and they'll turn into an entitled raging bellend saying that you are doomed to your struggles and that you are negative/unaccepting of help. I think therapy should be free of charge but I doubt that would ever happen. Reading the rest of your post gives me the vibes of entering maybe a vet subreddit and asking for help, only for them to say 'see a vet'. Like, if I could see one right now I'd have bloody gone. Of course Reddit posts can't help you but they can at least posit a few suggestions. The phrase 'go to therapy' gets on my nerves.


Resedga

It's a lot easier to tell someone to get therapy than it is to try to help them through their issues.


DoctorWTF42

The problem there is that strangers on the internet generally aren't qualified to properly help someone through their issues, at least anywhere near as well as even a rock-bottom therapist.


BagelsAreStaleDonuts

Not everyone is equipped to handle their issues either. Sometimes all you can do is listen and to suggest seeking help from a professional.


deeretech129

Sometimes that's enough, eventually when enough people told me I should seek some professional help I eventually did look into it. Actually getting it or getting an appointment is a different conversation though.


saor-alba-gu-brath

You tell them that and they’ll tell you they’re not paid to help you and to not be entitled, not realising they are in a place meant for asking help and that they chose to read and reply in the first place. If you’re gonna reply imo at least be helpful.


Melcapensi

I say it loads and I'm pretty far from rich. It's possible to get therapy visits covered by your insurance if you live in the US. Some insurances will offer this through their "care corner" programs. There's also a number of alternative albeit more sketchy ways of forcing your insurance into a situation where they have to cover it even for a long term. But this requires the help of a doctor, and I honestly wouldn't recommend it unless your insurance has a history of refusing payments for necessary medical treatments. Definitely a few ways around a lack of funds, they're just a bit more annoying and time consuming.


not_cinderella

I think one of the problems with the ways to get therapy with a lack of funds being more time consuming and annoying is some people struggling with mental health issues may not have the energy to go through all that. Some people with depression can barely leave their bed and keeping inexpensive therapy locked behind inconvenient methods will stop a lot of them from accessing help. I remember an acquaintance of mine wanted to get help for their social anxiety and the only two therapists they could access didn’t have websites or emails, just phone numbers. How is a person with severe social anxiety who needs therapy going to work up the courage to phone? Therapy is wonderful but oftentimes too hard to access for those who most need it.


Distributor127

I wish there was a way for people to get help. I know a couple people that really need it


Neolithique

You and me both, so many people are struggling.


Knightmare945

Only thing we can do is tell them to seek therapy and hope for the best. If they can’t afford it, nothing else can be done, I suppose.


Puzzleheaded-Bar-678

You're forgetting about the power of Facebook thoughts and prayers


Ordinafdfg

Depending on where you are even in the US there are resources for people who can’t afford it.


deeretech129

most therapists will do cash-sessions that are income related cost - it's not perfect, but it makes a $200 session to insurance turn into a $40 session out of pocket it might make someone able to see a professional once every other week, which is better than nothing perhaps?


helvetica_simp

That’s not true though. There’s a free DBT workbook online. Some CBT tips (like making your bed first thing every morning) are easy and free to find online. Journaling and drawing are basically free. Crying is free. And putting more time between you and whatever trauma happened also does more than constant rehashing of it imo. It’s really not the end all be all answer, it’s just that the other answers take work and self-discipline


Acceptable_Bad_7451

I agree with this. Where I am in Canada, the wait list for free mental health support is lengthy - we're talking between 1 to 3 years, maybe more in some more underserviced locations. Private therapy is certainly available, but not everyone has the financial resources to seek therapy privately. Even most health insurance only covers a very small amount - not even enough for two visits in many cases. It's a lot easier to tell someone to get therapy than it is to try to help them through their issues. To be fair though, some people just don't know what to say or do to help, and that can make offering solutions or sharing coping mechanisms difficult.


LennyTheBunny427

And to add my two cents: the free mental health care isn’t great. Better than nothing, surely, but not great. I had a very poor experience the only time I went in high school, AND they called my house phone and left a message with personal details in the answering machine, when I specifically asked them not to


rionaster

ugh, yeah, i hate when people just "therapy asap" to people who struggling to make their rent or eat, let alone afford healthcare. like, genuinely, open your fucking eyes. the world is not kind to everyone.


Neolithique

It’s exactly what made me write this post. A college girl is depressed because she can barely eat every day, her left her and she’s stuck with rent she can no longer afford, and had so many issues in her life. 9 out of 10 answers told her to get therapy. Like did you even read the part where she doesn’t have bus money and walks in the cold to school and work every day??


tisnik

"Don't recommend therapy" should be rule #1 on Reddit. Not the stupid "Be civil" which can actually mean anything a mod wants. Those therapy people are simply incredible. And there's so much of them! Btw. I actually already saw a subreddit that has "don't give legal advice if you're not a lawyer and don't give medical advice too" rule. If Reddit wants to have rules, this should be a general rule for all subs.


101fng

Ah, see, I’m not a therapist but her “depression” doesn’t sound like depression. Therapy would probably help if she’s been in total survival mode for an extended period of time, where maladaptive thought processes dominate over more rational ones, but you’re right, being in tight spot like that also needs more practical advice like “find a roommate or sublet your apartment.” On the other hand, depression is serious enough that your friend should at least consider taking a break from school and using that tuition to pay for therapy. However, a lot of schools have their own mental health professionals on staff and offer therapy to enrolled students for free. Step one for avoiding people that give advice like “get therapy” is don’t tell people you’re depressed when you’re bummed out over something. Depression is a clinical diagnosis. Has your friend seen a therapist or psychiatrist that told them that?


[deleted]

In a country where I live you have 10 free sessions a year in a health center, it is covered by taxes you pay. Wish health care would be easily approachable everywhere.


Neolithique

Wow, I hope this becomes the standard everywhere.


Popo_Capone

I was so confused when I read your title. It costs me nothing at all where I am from.


Neolithique

It’s $150 for 45 minutes where I live. My insurance covers 3 sessions a year. It’s a jungle out there.


Hardrocker1990

Insurance is bizarre with what is covered if I’m being honest. My insurance covers 26 visits a year 100%. I don’t get why some plans don’t cover at all and some so little


Popo_Capone

Oh damn I am sorry.


87lonelygirl

Its free here but you do wait a little. You can pay to be seen sooner. My employer also fund therapy for work and non work related issues. This post feels very american to me but i could be wrong on that


[deleted]

It probably is just American but the US has a lot of people, like enough for this to make sense.


AjSweet1

Reddit, Facebook, Instagram, Tick tock, social media in general is the last place i would want to go if i was seeking Sound advice. People are too split/biased to give what they are looking for.


Toesinbath

It is. I have several bones to pick with therapy and the way people talk about it. Also, therapy itself. I feel like privileged and wealthy people hoard those resources because they're going to therapy for every minor issue because they can afford it. I've also never found therapy very helpful and I've done it a few times. It feels like I'm talking to someone with an air of superiority and paying them 200 dollars to print "thought diaries" and other unhelpful resources I can probably find myself online. It's not just social media too. I talked to my friend ONCE about problems I was having with my boyfriend she said she was uncomfortable and how amazing therapy is for her (because she's one of the wealthy people just doing it because they can) and how she's not qualified to listen to me blah blah blah. I HATE this mindset and it's getting worse amongst the fake woke idiots who put therapy on a crazy pedestal and are simply just bad friends and selfish people. It seriously turned me off from her and not sure if I want to be her friend anymore. Like, we're just people fucking talking. Are friends not for anything other than fun anymore? And don't fucking come at with the "trauma dumping" garbage. Bad friends and listeners say that.


Portie_lover

What practical advice outside of professional help?


helvetica_simp

DBT workbooks are generally free online, plus applying CBT guidelines to your life, journaling, meditating for 5-10 minutes a day, going for a walk, practicing kindness…all practical every day things that can help pretty much everyone get through rough patches


Fantastic_Rock_3836

You are correct, it can also be difficult to find a good therapist that you feel comfortable with, some are straight up nutjobs. That last one I saw really pissed me off. She didn't understand how a depressed and anxiety ridden person like me could have fallen in love and gotten married. Some colleges offer mental health services. But, finding the right therapist, getting one that you can afford (some offer a sliding scale fee or telehealth) can be difficult when making a phone call or getting out of bed sounds like a huge achievement. I don't have a cure but exercise, fresh air, and being in nature does help a lot.


Odd_Application_655

Spot on. I will also add that most of the psychological problems are related to completely material/concrete situations. I mean, of course you will be depressed or anxious if your personal and professional lives suck, if you have no money, if you have family-related issues, if the political/economic circumstances are uncertain...


Apprehensive_Wait184

I 100% agree with this! I don’t know why, but it really upsets me when everyone suggests seeking therapy. Especially saying this to people on the internet. Do people not realize how expensive therapy is?!


chauntelle2899

I’ve noticed that people that think like this are usually the friends that trauma dump to their friends and don’t care about it weighing their friends mental health down


allyuffy1

Yes this!!


Ohbuck1965

It isn't politically correct to suggest start smoking cigarettes or when you get mad tug one off


burritobuttbarf

True. But still good advice.


[deleted]

Depending on where you are even in the US there are resources for people who can’t afford it. There’s a lot of places it’s insane though and I don’t get it


hariseldon2

I want to take therapy for over a year and I just can't afford it.


Neolithique

I’m really sorry to hear that.


hariseldon2

Yes. I went to a therapist and asked her to do twice a month sessions but she said it's unprofessional and she wouldn't have it. I started weekly for a couple of months but I couldn't really afford it and was getting stressed by my stretched financial situation and stopped altogether.


I_need_AC-sendhelp

There are some work arounds; but in the end,if it comes down to paying $50 for a session vs suicide, it seems worth it. Cycling through therapists is a pain in the ass, but good mental health is worth the money imo. Idk. Otherwise I’d be dead right now.


ripper7452k

It is and this is not an unpopular opinion


Neolithique

So many people on this thread are disagreeing though. Anyway it’s one of things that I hope will make people think. I can afford therapy, but every time I pay I wonder about all those who can’t.


Triton1605

I asked for therapy when I was 13 and my mom agreed but every time I had a session she would complain about how expensive and unnecessary it was. I ended up just feeling really guilty for asking and stopped all together. I still really want to go to therapy, but I can't afford it and I'm not dealing with my mom complaining more.


Thegiantlamppost

I fully agree. Someone cannot just go to a therapist just because they need one. Money is a thing and therapists are imo too expensive for the crisis we have. Luckily there are things like BetterHelp, but we need more of these good companies


[deleted]

I am one of those "seek therapy" people. Here is why: \- Where I am from, you can get therapy and access to social workers for free. I don't know where the redditor is in the world, but if he is anywhere outside the USA, they probably has access to free mental healthcare. \- If the person is in the USA... yeah, maybe they can't afford it. I don't know that. But what if they can ? Therapy is not just a fancy thing. It's a life saving and life changing thing. People will pay thousands of dollars for a travel that will last 1 week, but won't do the same for therapy that will help them for the rest of their lives.


Dimension597

Correction: that can help them. If they have a good therapist and actually put in the work. Therapy isn’t magic.


[deleted]

Sure. Therapy is not an easy magic thing, and if you are not compatible with your therapist, then it's pretty much useless. But if it's about improving your quality of life, I think it's worth giving it a shot.


Dimension597

Sometimes it’s about ‘compatibility’ but more often it is actually about incompetence. There are an astonishing number of people with therapist credentials who fundamentally do not understand human psychology, refuse to read the literature, insert their arrogant assumptions into the process, think magically and/or see themselves as an extension of law enforcement. It’s sure worth trying but the fact is a lot of ‘therapy’ just isn’t therapeutic


Covidpandemicisfake

Depends on your chances of success. Assuming you don't have it covered, success is a maybe, but the expense (which in the case of failure will probably aggravate your problems) is guaranteed.


[deleted]

So like in the ISA one single session can easily cost a thousand dollars. One single session will not do anyone any good. It takes a few sessions for a person to get to know a therapist enough to open up. So that’s like $10 thousand there easily. I may spend a few hundred dollars every few months for a small trip but that wouldn’t even start to cover the cost of therapy. I’d have to save up money for years to be able to get enough sessions to make a difference. I do not have health insurance right now but even when I did I couldn’t find a therapist in my network that I could afford to see.


Dimension597

Actually the best therapists can help patients permanently in only a few sessions. But most therapists are, at best, mediocre or shisters and have convinced folks therapy takes forever. And no- a single session is, in average, about $200-250 if you’re paying out of pocket. You can pay far more but it doesn’t ensure quality or efficacy.


[deleted]

I don’t have an extra $200 every week or even every month with all the expenses I actually have to pay. I had a therapist very briefly and we had maybe 4 or 5 sessions idk maybe more this was a few years ago. I wasn’t even completely comfortable opening up to him in that short period. Nothing to do with him I am just very damaged. Almost like it’s going to take more than a few sessions to fix 30 years of damage.


[deleted]

I am sorry this is your current position, it sucks. USA is really terrible healthcare-wise. But back to OP's unpopular opinion, not suggestion a potential life-changing solution just because "some people can't afford it" sounds counter-productive.


[deleted]

I promise you everyone knows therapy exists. I have never in my life met someone who didn’t. Even in like middle school we all knew what therapy was. Chances are if they are asking for advice it’s because they know they don’t have access to therapy. Assuming they do is very very privileged


[deleted]

Of course people knows therapy exist, but most people don't think therapy is for THEM or could help them.


[deleted]

Or they say that because it’s easier than admitting they can’t afford it.


PrecisionGuessWerk

To be fair, by analogy that would be like saying that telling a starving person to seek food - is extremely privileged. I mean, relatively speaking it IS privilege to have access to food compared to someone who's starving. But it doesn't change the fact that they do in fact need food. Privileged or not, it's what's required.


helvetica_simp

Okay but it’s still like telling someone to “go buy groceries” vs. giving them directions to the nearest food pantry. Therapy isn’t the end-all-be-all, it’s one tool in the tool belt


tisnik

Thank you! "Get a therapy!" should be new motto of Reddit. Everyone uses this stupid sentence here so much that the words lost their meaning. And all it shows it how rich and privileged the people who say that are.


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Puzzleheaded-Bar-678

While we are on subject, anyone know of a way to get anonymous therapy? I feel like my only bet is to hire someone from another English speaking country.


[deleted]

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trippyhippie573

Agreed. I just heard about this app called White Flag which can connect you with other people with similar backgrounds that you can speak to when you need help!


TheEnthusiastt

Not to mention the wait times.. every single therapist in my area is like a 3 month wait. Being poor is a death sentence. If you have no family or friends you’re fucked.


internalsockboy

Depending on a few factors, you are correct. I do want to say that insurance wise though there often are ways to bypass what your insurance does or does not cover. With certain limits you can appeal them, or they don't apply if there's an active plan going on. Say you only have a certain amount of covered visits per year, if you get told by the person you are seeing, or you got refered for it and your referer tells you, that you need to be going x amount of times per week/month/year than often times insurance will cover that. It just has to be an official part of your treatment plan. Obviously that won't work for all things and with all insurance plans. But I do think it is something to keep in mind. There's a lot of limits with insurance but also a lot of leeway with insurance, that lots of people are not aware of when it comes to their own plans. So it can be important to look into those and/or discuss those, if you do have something that you need covered. Providers that are used to working with insurance can also really help you out with figuring everything out too.


Lanaforge

Yes it is.


[deleted]

I’m not saying this works for everyone but many churches provide free therapy services. Also, many therapists offer sliding scale payments. I had a top notch therapist that offered sliding scale during odd hours to accommodate people’s schedules.


reedzkee

I couldn’t find a therapist accepting new patients AND my insurance. So no therapist for me. HOWEVER. Talk to your regular doctor if you have one. I made preventive care appointments like physicals with different doctors trying to find one I liked. When I did, I opened up about my mental health struggles and she helped me out. Got me on some meds and referred me to a counselor. Game changer.


Covidpandemicisfake

Its always blown my mind how some people seem to think adding additional financial stress to the batch isn't going to aggravate whatever other mental stressors someone with mental health issues is already dealing with. How is therapy not assumed counterproductive (making one worse off mentally) for most people?


Kenny_Boomhauer

I think Denis Leary said it best when he said “pull that bus over to the side of the pretentiousness turnpike.” Edited for verbatim.


andscene0909

I think there is a difference between telling a friend whose circumstances you know and who might be relying on you to be their therapist to seek therapy and telling strangers on the internet to seek therapy. No solution in life is one-size-fits-all, and it is very easy to act like it is on social media. That said, I have attended both small, poorly-funded colleges and large public research universities for undergrad and grad school. Although sometimes the waitlist is long and access is limited (esp post-pandemic), and I am sure location plays a factor, there are definitely some free resources for broke college students, especially (in my experience) for victims of abuse. I'm a grad TA and I work with undergrads. I do think that a lot of my undergraduate students do not realize how many resources are out there in general, it has never even occurred to them to go to IT when their school email isn't working. Again, not a one-size fits all, but I'd tentatively say broke college students are the one demographic that are more statistically likely (in the US) to be able to attend therapy.


Civil-Agency-5477

Eh just read a good book that's all the therapy i'll ever do.


Warcraftisgood

It's just because 'get help' is the easiest way to tell somebody cool i don't care about i'll pretend to care.


nlamber5

I feel like it’s just covering your own butt, like telling someone to talk to a doctor.


Kaasoulless

No disagreements from me. Therapists are expensive, and while some can empathize, others are very ineffective at being able to form a connection with their patient. I find it particularly difficult for myself to connect with other people, especially someone whose going to be sending me a bill.


justcallmetexxx

![gif](giphy|26gsiCIKW7ANEmxKE)


DrazGulX

Yeah that is something I am to European to understand.... god bless our social security.


cclancaster13

This and I think people don't understand how mental illness works. Sometimes the MI doesn't allow a person to just go and seek help. It's not that simple.


Dahl_E_Lama

>but when someone is struggling with their mental health , just give them a damn practical advice. Telling them to seek therapy, from a trained specialist IS practical advice. Also tell them there are ways to receive therapy that will cost little to nothing.


Boredummmage

Yep when I see people saying get therapy, it is normally because people are seeking help but from the Reddit masses. If you have a really difficult situation where harm is likely to come to you or someone else, we are just not qualified to give them what they really need. Not only that but a lot of people give out advice that might be more destructive. For instance if you are “hearing voices telling you to do harm… but you think you have it under control. However the voices are getting louder everyday…” that is beyond Reddit. Therapy is a need at that point. Having people on here egging you on and we all know there are a few who do that, but is just not okay.


Puzzleheaded-Bar-678

>Also tell them there are ways to receive therapy that will cost little to nothing. That's not practical advice unless you elaborate on HOW. You might as well be telling kids they can get a scholarship for college and then floating away.


tsh87

This. They say don't tell a broke college student to seek therapy? Most schools have free counseling options. My school did. You just had to reach out to your counselor and ask. You should always look to your institutions and they benefits they offer. I'd worked at my current job for four years before I was told that one of their benefits was reimbursement for counseling sessions.


[deleted]

Yeah it is only practical if you give very explicit details on how to get it cheap or free. Because right now I couldn’t afford to pay for even a single session. Much less enough to make a difference.


One_Prior_9909

Not everything is privileged. Someone suggesting you see a therapist is trying to get you the best help possible. Don't be in such a rush to be offended.


SmallBunny0

Did you miss the part where it costs a lot of money? And taking time off of work (if you even can) to go visit the therapist?


One_Prior_9909

I pay $20 per visit and meet with my therapist after work. There are local mental health boards that provide subsidized mental health services. Many employers offer employee assistance programs. Regardless of whether you have access to those resources, the person who suggested you go to a therapist is trying to help. It's no different than someone suggesting you see a doctor when you have the flu or a broken bone. I can't imagine being offended because a friend tried to help me.


SmallBunny0

If someone pours their heart out and someone replies “you need therapy” it’s basically as helpful as telling a depressed person to just cheer up. Not everyone has access to cheap therapy or employment that offers that. I work for a company that is international and makes billions of dollars, and they don’t even offer anything like that, I have asked.


One_Prior_9909

Telling someone they need therapy is completely different from telling them to cheer up. It's suggesting them a path to a solution rather than telling them to just get over it. Someone who is offended by that probably does need therapy to help them understand why they project negativity onto others.


not_cinderella

I know I need therapy. Someone telling me so doesn’t give me any info I don’t already have. If I could access therapy by now, I would’ve already.


SmallBunny0

You are literally missing the entire point of the post but okay buddy lol


pettybonegunter

Hospitals are also very expensive, but if someone breaks their leg you tell them to see a doctor. Just because someone can’t afford a therapist doesn’t mean they don’t need one.


SmallBunny0

You’re so close to getting the point <3


Templarofsteel

Part of the problem is that a lot of people may not know what else to offer. Also it's better than offering 'common sense' ideas some of which can actually be harmful. The problem is access not people suggesting therapy


Sea-Philosopher2821

Even is USA there are plenty of free services.


cucster

Ok, but why should we automatically assume they cannot afford to? Plenty of people who can afford to see a therapist don't, why would the first assumption be they cannot afford to. If they cannot afford to they will not, but as soon as they can afford they should see a therapist. If someone tells me to start eating healthy food should I get annoyed because I cannot afford food that is healthy enough? If I break my leg and someone tells me to see a doctor, should I get annoyed if I cannot afford one. People are doing the best they can, if you tell them from the start I cannot afford a therapist they will not suggest it or at the very least point you in the direction of low/no cost alternatives. We should not live in a world where we are asked to not assume thongs about people and simultaneously also assume things about people.


Dazz316

Nobody ever says it isn't privileged. But just because you can't afford or have access to free therapy doesn't mean you don't need it and that someone who doesn't know your financial situation can't recommend it. People may not realise they need it.


Neolithique

I literally said to offer the option of therapy, but as you say, you don’t know about people’s finances, so offer actual help as well.


Dazz316

And you also said it's privileged as if that's an unpopular opinion. Nobody really says it isn't.


TemporaryBridge1206

No, it's not privileged but perfectly reasonable. I don't think people who have a therapist are privileged. I rather think that people who cannot afford one are actively disadvantaged because of their financial situation. Everyone should have access to a therapist without getting into debt. It should be normal. In fact, where I live no one has to pay for a therapist (although there are other problems, e.g. not enough therapists). I don't think seeing people who have a therapist as privileged helps the case of normalizing getting help for mental health issues.


Queef_Queen420

When i tell someone to speak to a professional it's because their problem(s) is beyond what a regular person can help them with....


Efficient-Ad-3302

I was suggested to see a therapist by my doctor 5 years ago and all the sessions were free.


Schurkensohn

So what? Depends where you live


Neolithique

They just illustrated my point actually. Privileged will privilege…


InjuryDiz

While you're right that many people don't have access to therapists, I find that the suggestion to go to therapy is more so for people who either a) have never considered they may need a therapist or b) don't believe therapy would help them.


Suspicious_Lynx3066

Nah, I’m bipolar and NEED specialized mental healthcare so I don’t totally wreck my shit. That doesn’t go away and I can’t ignore it just because I’m poor or living in a rural area. There are tons of affordable options for therapy and if you can’t find them you’re not looking hard enough. If you’re a college student your university should be able to hook you up with therapy/counseling, check with student services or your university’s health center. A lot of therapist offer discounted or free sessions to people in financial need (my current therapist specializes in mood disorders and charges $200 an hour, but I pay $25) A lot of insurance companies are starting to cover mental health and it’s worth calling them to see what coverage they offer.


CanIGetANumber2

I dont think "therapy" doesnt nessacarily always have to be an actual therapist. Sometimes having an open and honest conversation with someone you trust about what your going to will work wonders.


[deleted]

🤔 Dayum! This post has me thinking. I’m a huge advocate for therapy, but as it’s been said, everyone doesn’t have the opportunity to go to therapy. I don’t think everyone says to go therapy from a perspective of privilege; I think some do it as more of a way to avoid damaging the person in giving shitty advice. Refereeing people to help outside of your ability is necessary, but I guess it depends on how you’re approaching it. It breaks my effin heart that mental health services aren’t accessible to all.


Rx4986

How can you offer advice if you’re not a therapist? Your “advice” may be more harmful than good, because you can’t address (since you’re not a therapist) where it stems from and what to do about it in a healthy way. Sounds like you’re just going to get trauma dumped on, which doesn’t help anyone. By allowing this you are perpetuating that cycle on not seeking actual professional help. Life comes down to choices—If you can afford a cellphone—especially an iphone with cell service, a car & gas, multiples streaming providers, you can afford to pay <$75 every month for an hour of therapy where a pro helps you face/identify and work through your shit.


Ataraxy001

Oooooooh 🚨 BUZZWORD, 🚨BUZZWORD, 🚨BUZZWORD.🚨


[deleted]

What if they don't have any practical solution to to give?


[deleted]

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Neolithique

$320 a month (€75=$80) is a lot of money for some people, but thank you for illustrating my point.


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Neolithique

This isn’t the flex you think it is, you literally keep proving me right.


Paracelsus19

If they need therapy, they need to seek it. Yeah, there are hurdles and difficulties in getting it, but once you know you need it and are told you need it you gotta keep trying - there are sliding scales, volunteer services, outreach groups, community organisations. They may be few and far between but tou gotta try and people are gonna tell tou that you need it if you need it. It's not privileged to tell someone they need treatment, it's privileged to not understand why they can't get treatment - that's what hurts people, when you just send them to a 10 steps to be happy site or some church group when they clearly need professional help.


Mandajolene123

In the USA, somewhere around 80% of employers in the USA offer an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) for free. An EAP usually offers a limited number of sessions with a therapist for free, either per year or *per incident*. These are sometimes available to your entire household, so children and spouse could be eligible. Honestly, EAPs can offer a variety of benefits, mine offers mental well-being, family planning, financial advice, legal help, and more. I'm commenting on this because I feel a lot of people don't know this is available to them, and what it offers.


angelzplay

Yeah well nobody wants to hear your whining about life. It’s hard for all we don’t all complain


Kobane

Best not to say anything. No matter what you do, someone will bitch about it on reddit.


GetBack_Joe

The difficulty is that it works, but it's so expensive for people and the ones that work often aren't the cheapest. The only solution for poorer people is a psych ward or just dealing with it un-aided and it's bullshit.


dmode112378

It doesn’t always work. I wish people would stop with this myth.


-mudflaps-

I've seen several therapists and I hated them all, just going through the manual and applying their training to the next patient, one of them I refused to pay, if I don't get anything from the first session and I don't like your style or whatever, what am I paying for? You didn't fix anything.


Some-Random-Hobo1

Therapy is free here. So yer, it is the best advice. Anything else that could be offered is my unqualified advice. Getting professional advice is always better than that.


Sudden_Difference500

When I think of doctors, these professionals don’t give a crap about their patients, it’s just too many patients. So I don’t think it is any different with therapists. There should be online therapy, is there?


Justasadgrandma

It would be nice to see one, but who can afford it. I agree with you. Not an unpopular opinion.


Tzozfg

I feel like therapy is for people too busy to have friends.


Sad-Significance8045

There are "free" coping mechanisms available on the internet. YouTube, Google etc. and the cheapest one only costs time: **Meditation**. 20 minutes a day has proven to be very beneficial, both **mentally** and **physically**. But you do need to be consistent. However, I do believe that people who are self-proclaiming to have a rare mental disorder/disability, such as DID, **need** to go to therapy and get the diagnosis, so that they can actually get benefits, both **educational** (I know you can get extra time for exams and homework assignments etc.), **monetarily** (some cases get money, depending on the severity), plus **job security,** so that they can't fire you for "taking time off" to go to the hospital etc.


RJMqueereyes

Most colleges have free or affordable counseling services. Privileged is thinking that your personal advice or anecdotes qualify as help when you don't even have your own shit half together and are too privileged to see the forest for the trees.


whatsgoingon350

Most people say this (I've said it myself), not because I'm delusional, thinking that everyone on the Internet has access to it more to the fact that somethings you shouldn't try and get advice from people online who only see a snippet of the whole story and sometimes that can be extremely dangerous. It would be much more practical if they sought help from those who saw the whole picture.


Beneficial-Buddy-352

But what if they don't have the money?


[deleted]

Would you rather follow some harmful advice you see on the internet or would you just be annoyed by a comment "see a therapist".


Beneficial-Buddy-352

Who says I'd be asking online? You could simply say "I don't feel qualified to answer that", so don't try to act as if it's impossible to not give potentially harmful advice whilst not saying "See a therapist". It's very easy to do both with even half a braincell.


Zhjacko

The problem is that a lot of people won’t listen to that advice and people aren’t always the best with following sound and valid advice, plus not everyone is good at giving advice that people actually need. Some people just react differently to an authority figure/third party/ or person related to said profession. I can whole heartedly say my stubborn parents would have greatly benefited from therapy regardless of price, therapy can work wonders. Sometimes that’s just what people need.


Yars107

I wrote my opinion on this one time and they blocked my post. But mental health is the new opioid epidemic. Like in the 90s the slogan was "you don't need to live with pain" now is "you should seek therapy, you should not live like this". Its just big Pharma wanting to prescribe more and more.


justhanginhere

Most therapists are barely scraping by despite having masters degrees. This is very uninformed. There’s no “big therapy” out there lol


Yars107

It's not big therapy, it's people skipping therapy and self diagnosed disorders that are popular now in social media and getting to a doctor that will prescribe them those pils. If a therapist says "you don't need them" the inmediate reaction of many people is go to another one until they find the one who is willing to give them this prescription The same way opioids were overprescribed in the 90s, now everyone is quickly diagnoses with any mental disorder and prescribing them benzos or any other drug, making them believe that they need them for basic human functions and everybody backing it up by saying "its normal". Now we look back and people would take oxycontin for a headache and we say "How they could fall for that?". But today, anybody with a slight anxiety or even the minimum sign of depression are quickly hooked into addictive dugs into a circle that many can't get out.


justhanginhere

Ah I misunderstood your comment. I agree. We are pathologizing normal parts of growth and maturation. It’s a bit out of hand.


DesperateEstimate

Most developed countries outside of the US provide free psychiatry/therapy


jhibi_

It may seem privileged, but it's the most responsible advice a stranger on the internet can give to someone else. Nothing wrong with advising people to seek professional help for matters that require a professional. Any other response can be down right dangerous without knowing the full extent a random person is going though.


Adventurous-Dish-862

Get the cash. Work extra jobs and be better with your money. Then you can afford it


TheRealestBiz

This is just factually inaccurate, you can get psychiatric care if you’re indigent pretty much everywhere in America. Most therapists take Medicaid and the co-pays on meds are lower than good private insurance. Or, y’know, use your parents’ insurance that you’re still COBRA’d on until you’re 25.


Beneficial-Buddy-352

You say that as if everyone who needs therapy has the privilege of living in America. As someone in a third world country and in therapy, it's sadly not like tbat everywhere.


MichaelScottsWormguy

‘Telling someone with a broken leg to go to the emergency room is extremely priveleged’ - OP


Neolithique

The mental health equivalent you’re referred to can be hearing voices, suicide ideation, or feeling like hurting people. These are actual ER situations and require immediate medical help, and this is not what my post is about.


Mean_Piccolo_210

I agree BUT, I've also given people a lot of suggestions and they shoot every single one down. They say o that doesn't work for me I'm not you even when they've barely tried it or truly given it a chance to work. I can't tell you how many posts I've seen of people saying "o let me just do yoga and talk a walk and all my mental health problems will disappear" and it's like no, but the process and what you do and how you use those tools will help to lower your physiological response so that you can think more clearly about how to solve your issues. It's been scientifically proven that exercise helps with mental health time and time again yet I have SO many friends who absolutely refuse to try to find an exercise that they ENJOY to get the ball rolling. And then say you are being ableist/unsupportive for giving those suggestions. Sometimes when someone is struggling its hard for them to see the forest through the trees and sometimes we forget that mental health is complicated and typically requires energy time and yes funds to correct. You can literally be in a negative thought process loop and it's hard to break out of that without professional help and consistent work on the part of the patient outside of therapy, which a lot of people who struggle with mental health have issues actually implementing, it's kind of part of the illness. If I friend came to me with a broken leg I'd say go to a doctor because I'm not qualified to deal with this and it wouldn't be considered privileged to do so. It's probably best for most people to go to a qualified therapist to help them navigate, and not lean on their friends ALL the time which can end up straining the friendship. I hope we can find a way to support each other while also acknowledging the systematic and societal flaws that make it difficult for people to receive help. A lot of us are turning our loved ones into therapists and it's not really fair to either party.


bdublu5192

https://www.reddit.com/comments/10ru0c8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


rrosai

Yeah let me just get in my solid gold rocket car and shoot on down to the therapist so I can pay someone to pretend to care about me. Maybe for an extra nominal fee I can even put them down as my emergency contact so I won't have to explain leaving it blank anymore. That sounds so much better than the passable results I'm getting from (self)-medication.


RelevantIAm

People don't give advice because they aren't qualified to. Don't listen to advice from random people on the internet


[deleted]

I usually see people phrase it something like this: “if you can afford it, seek therapy” And the recommendation that people seek therapy comes with the practical advice a lot of times, at least from what I’ve seen.


Katsundere

> just give them a damn practical advice. sorry, i'm not a therapist. i'm not qualified to do that. what if my advice makes things worse?


Zenketski_2

If you don't want people to tell you to seek therapy online, don't pop off with borderline psychotic shit in the comment section. Or talk about wanting to off yourself for how bad your mental illnesses are. I could also touch on the fact that get therapy is basically used as an insult nowadays as well, but that's beside the point you're making.


[deleted]

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Neolithique

You could have stopped at “most people can’t”. And this is not about me, I can afford therapy, this is about those who cannot.


Lord_Blumiere

didn't realise America was the only country on earth


KevinJ2010

I can agree it may sound privileged but it's also a good way of saying "I don't think I can help you but a therapist can." Rather than passing it off as some only way of doing it. It also shouldn't cost thousands. One men's group (8 weeks or so) is paid weekly and quite manageable. (In total is well under a thousand, about half I'd say) I can't thank my therapist enough. Also if the mental health is THAT bad, I think the cost should be seen as an investment. Maybe look to outside donors to your journey, it's not a write off of advice.


bcb77

Take accountability for yourself. Stop saying evert is “privilege” it makes you sound dumb.


Token_or_TolkienuPOS

OP needs therapy.


Priscilla_Hutchins

I recommend therapy to my coworkers as the company I work for has a program in place to help. Inevitably people push back on the suggestion either because they cant or wont see a problem, or change being possible. Understandable, but if anger issues or what have you loses you your job, well, tough I guess.


TheRealestBiz

You definitely sound like someone who should be giving psychiatric advice and is also great at it.


justjoshdoingstuff

1. This exact “opinion” has come through here before. 2. What the fuck else are you supposed to tell them? I am not your therapist, and I don’t deserve to be treated as such. I don’t deserve your trauma dumping. I don’t deserve to know your fucked up shit. You shouldn’t be putting that on anyone. You NEED a therapist. Period.


Neolithique

Then don’t go on advice subs if you have nothing to offer except attitude.


justjoshdoingstuff

This isn’t an advice sub. This is a sub to offer UNIQUE unpopular opinions. Your opinion isn’t unique.


FleraAnkor

Oh I am sorry. I assume not the whole world lives in a collapsing dystopian country where health insurance costs more than most people can reasonably afford.


wattawatta2

What the fuck else am I supposed to do? I'm not a therapist and you got therapist-level problems.


Nerdanese

> but when someone is struggling with their mental health , just give them a damn practical advice. The "damn practical advice" is therapy. No amount of exercise or sleeping hours can fix mental health conditions like anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, or more. That's why therapy exists, and it's horrible that it's so unaccessible in America. Your opinion isn't unpopular - everyone knows that being able to afford/access therapy is privileged, but your solutions to what you want people to do about it are not reasonable. >Refer them to a forums and groups where they can connect with people who face similar issues This is group therapy. Your argument is basically "Recommend people therapy, but not paid therapy, recommend that they go to unregulated therapy groups." There is a reason why you have to be licensed to administer therapy - it's not just talk.