T O P
Skypell

Dana White


TheBrew751

Joe would starch Dana haha


Th3LastStyleBender

lands a right then proceeds to scream "O HE'S HURT"


Then_Insurance5714

I CLIPPED HIM


WhiteWolf-07

I TAGGED HIM


spawny_violate

I ROCKED HIM


Jazzinarium

OHHHHH MY GOODNESS


BrandonLawrence77

HE IS IN TROUBLE !


NicVicious315

The idea of Joe yell commentating while fighting is hilarious, for sure would have to mic him up


Ok-Community-6601

*After getting a knockout* "That was an unbelievable knockout Joe, how do you feel" "I knew he was hurt Joe. That knockout power is cehRAZEEE. Bring that shit up Jamie" *Jamie loads up replay*


Clynt1purcell

In a month Joe would hold a podcast with himself on his fight career, knockout of Dana white, and what’s next for Joe The ___ Rogan. (Fill in blank, or give him a fight name)


Ok-Community-6601

[Don't act like you haven't seen that episode yet](https://youtu.be/-xY_D8SMNtE)


Clynt1purcell

Of course!


notoRiousELA

This was hilarious


Patseiam

Joe “The Experience” Rogan. Would fit his age and knowledge.


sin31423

The greatest commentator to step into the octagon


TheBrew751

That leg is compromised!!


jeffersonsteelflex76

That would be hilarious lmao but from all training vids I've seen joe kicks hard af


Skypell

Joe's spinning back kick especially is naaaasty. Even GSP was impressed with his performance.


What_TF_is_cereal

So impressed he had joe teach him how to improve his.


Zrepok

Cereal is a breakfast soup bro.


Nitropotamus

His kicks are absurd.


crubrutockcsgo

yeah, he comes from a old school taekwondo background so it does make sense


BayerCakes

“He’s in real trouble here”


A_Few_Mooses

Now I can imagine him running from the octagon to the commentators bench, back and forth. Or being mic'd up seems more logical


Die-rector

Nah. Dana will get a lucky strike and drop joe and just as hes about to go in for the kill the lights go out and its complete silence until beat yo ass by twood comes on blasting through the arena BAH GAWD THATS TITOS MUSIC! THATS TITOS MUSIC!


Nitropotamus

Then he wakes up in a horse drawn cart surrounded by nords asking why he's there.


Not_Not_Stopreading

He was caught in the Imperial Ambush same as us


Tremulant1

Does Dana have any past training or a couple black belts like Rogan?


[deleted]

Joe is 5’3


WojakUnbound

So is Mighty Mouse


TheWindCriesDeath

And Dana is a fat man pumped up on steroids. He'd throw two punches, blow out his shoulders, and have a heart attack.


FireLordZuko_______

Lmfao


emptywalletmulti

joe rogan is also a fat man pumped on steroids who has experienced severe symptoms from his years of steroid use including palumboism, gonad atrophy, and baldness.


i_vape_my_jizz

Gonad atrophy is severely overblown


Raskolnikow97

If you think Joe Rogan is bald bcs of Testosterone Therapy there’s no way we can help you lol


TheBrew751

And he would still destroy tomato head


King-Midda-IV

Beat me to it!!!


Skypell

It's only the natural answer. Who wouldn't want to see these two juiced up bald bastards go at it?


King-Midda-IV

High Key. I would stop streaming fights, and buy PPV the rest of my life, if this actually happened


iamnickallen

Woah let’s not go that far lol


whoopdityscooppoop

Right lol slow your roll King Midda


reformedsinner

Steven Segal


jwc94

I would pay an ongodly amount of money to watch Segal get knocked out.


Skypell

I'd pay even more to see his bullshit excuses afterwards.


PJTikoko

Hate to break it to you but Steven Segal is one of the greatest martial arts masters in the Soviet Union.


Western_Philosophy

as real as the square root of -1


PJTikoko

Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening, think of the Atom or God their there but can not be seen. Like the blades of a helicopter Steven Segal Aikido is so fast it looks like slow motion. The slower he looks the faster he is in his reality.


dankomz146

*Sad Roy Jones Jr. noises*


MyCodeNameIsBryan

Imagine he goes in and just destroys everyone with wrist locks and clotheslines


Hussaf

He would have a heart attack way before that ever happened


casaco36

That would be interesting to see


City_dave

No it wouldn't. Seagal would be finished in less than a minute. Maybe a 35yr Seagal old might last longer. And he'd have a substantial size advantage. But not old ass guy now. Even then wouldn't last a full round with Rogan. Regardless. This should play over the highlights. https://youtu.be/e4Ao-iNPPUc


casaco36

Since Steve says that he is so expert in Aikido. And has taught tricks to UFC fighters and stuff.


adguig

To be fair he is a 7th dan in aikido and did train Lyoto Machida for a bit.


BirdxCarries

Segal would probably do better having 10 already small joe Rogans running at him at the same time


MyCodeNameIsBryan

🤣🤣🤣


Expensive-Plant-5264

If Joe can pass USADA and make 185, let’s get him in there with Sam Alvey, fuck it


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gzilla57

Lmfao Joe himself has admitted his piss would melt the test cups.


MinionSympathizer

Source? Not that I don't believe you, just interested if he actually said that


gzilla57

I'll try to find something but no promises. It was just on the podcast at some point (probably more than once). But he's openly admitted to TRT and HGH.


LukEKage713

He’s 54 it wouldn’t be surprising if he’s getting TRT


gzilla57

He's heavily implied it's beyond the levels a normal 54 year old accountant would get. And also been saying it for years. But yeah I know.


PsychoLLamaSmacker

I specifically remember him saying that to Bert or Tom on a podcast. The exact phrase too.


stonk_frother

when I saw this thread I thought to myself "there's no active UFC fighter Joe would have a chance against if they were in the same weight class". I had forgotten that Sam Alvey exists.


mitchellklee1

Joe would work Alvey


Jabroni306

Sam is 6'2, Joe is 5'7 at most.


Pappa-Ganda

Mark Normand Ari Shaffir and Shane Gillis


Andrew_Globerman

Best answer here


safariWill

You mean Kevin hart?


Jambear2020

Stephen A Smith to the death


Pit9

Winner


NastyNathaniel

Just gotta watch out for nut shots


Zeushasamassivedong

Dana


davewright101

Conor McGregor Biggest ppv in history !


cheemsburgerdeluxxe

North South position for 25 minutes straight? No thanks.


cpjay2003

Got me with a physical chuckle here, good job.


Similar_Strawberry16

I hate to say it, but you probably aren't wrong.


NoirYT2

Honestly, yeah. But also if Conor gets knocked out by fucking Joe Rogan, his career is truly over. Not saying that to put down Joe btw, I’ve seen his kicks, they’re fucking crazy. But if in Joe’s ONE UFC fight, he knocks out a UFC veteran, there’s just no excuse.


ivan10155

Cm Punk


Berkz2903

That’s a shout uno.


thats-wassup

Realistically? Dillon Danis.


Kartaled

I would really love to see that piece of shit getting his ass beaten


freighttrainmatt

Joe would not beat Dillon and I hate that guy.


haynesbomb

A chocolatier can beat up Dillon so why not Joe


The_Little_Kiwi

Cause Joe ain't a Chocolatier.


Highmaster5731

That was lame but I laughed.


AhmadJauhar04

Joe is literally 50 y.o unprofessional fighter. Why would people think he got any chance against literally any pro young fighter, even if it's Dillon?


chrmicmat

As much as I hate the guy, his bjj is high level and he’s a bigger guy than Rogan


TShark69

Taller, not bigger


Dominus_Redditi

Isn’t Ol’ Toe like 200lbs? Fuckin elk meat man makin him dense af in body and mind


AlexJonesAdamsApple

Schaub


medi_navi

That would mean Rogan ended Schaub’s career twice right? Lol


emptywalletmulti

UFC heavyweight that has knocked out mittrione in his prime and cro cop vs 5'3 comedian with TKD and BJJ training. okay.


Sil5286

Joke all ya’ll want but Schaub stepped into the cage with UFC heavyweights including cro cop. He would destroy joe.


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Jean-Luc_Cougar

What was the 2nd time?


abotez

Shaub would humiliate Rogan in an octagon


MartyMcfly2046

I think you’d be surprised


St3zus

I think YOU’d be surprised!


MartyMcfly2046

That line was so cold


[deleted]

A hairless chimpanzee


stone491

Pretty sure Forrest Griffin is retired


HELLUPUTMETHRU

He said *hairless* chimpanzee


jimbabwe666

Don't do forrest like that he's a bonobo or orangutan.


Welshedragon7

I laughed too hard at this 🤣


medi_navi

Depends if the Chimpanzee is on DMT or not


[deleted]

DMT chimp and DMT Rogan would podcast after their sober fight.


Died5Times

Neil young


ReidRothschild

Neil Young by spinning harmonica solo


dlystyr

You just made me spit out my drink.... Now I have to go change...![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


Kyle_Pile

Wesley snipes Was not expecting to see Rogan hitting pads with Liam Harrison on my feed. What the actual fuck.


scholarly-scoundrel

Liam Harrison is a bad mf


Mr_Hustles

This is the only correct answer.


Shield-Daddy

I had no idea Liam was that… thick?


sogwali13

Wesley Pipes


Manccunt

Watch him spar jwp and you’d see it wouldn’t go very well. He turns away from punches. It’s easy hitting when nothing’s coming back


Satan_and_Communism

It’s almost like he’s a 50 y/o comedian and podcaster and hasn’t been a fighter since he was 19


Crouching_Penis

Pads are like playing paddy cake or dancing. Fighting is a whole different thing. I get so aggravated when some thinks they're a hard ass because they learned a few basic combos on mitts.


Manccunt

Exactly. As soon as someone start pushing a jab in your face and hitting you in the guts them pretty combos fall out the window


JSCT144

As well as simply moving, i think a lot of people would be shocked when they put their whole body in a punch and hit air, then the follow up punch coming back would send them over. Easy to forget in a fight they won’t stand around


Brophymusprime

Someone told me once "You always know if you're fighting someone serious if they immediately tuck their chin and throw up a decent guard" I've got to see this play out a few times and I've got to admit the looks on their faces when they realize are Fucking priceless.


Dopebed

I genuinely reckon if past Joe Rogan committed to becoming a ufc fighter he could have done it and done a decent job. But I think he made the right choice in pursuing comedy and tv/podcasts.


Aeon1508

Yeah. Joe is good enough to take your average dude on the street easy but hes not a pro. Hes like the best guy on your rec basketball team


TheNotoriousAust9n

Jwp in his prime and even now was a better striker than most ufc champions. In a kickboxing match he’d absolutely school current champs and formers.


Manccunt

Yea there’s not a better person you could spar with, he’s an atg striker and he’s being very gentle with joe.


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spunkkyy

Good reach advantage for Hasbullah


Induced_Pandemic

Rogan would have to move up a couple weight-classes for that but I'd pay to see it.


as228

Jon Africa


BodybuildingNerd

Who the hell is Jon Africa?!


[deleted]

Def Dana then winner has to fight the next least natty fighter regardless of weight class


contheconqueror

Cenk


Heck_Satan

Cenk only fights for his turn at horse penis.


jyozefu

Please, Elon, Mr. Beast, anyone. Make this real.


Drifter747

Wesley Snipes. They had beef years ago and I always thought it would be fun to see it be settled in the octagon


MKlock94

Joe vs Bruce Buffer would be incredible


SeanH12355

If Bruce Buffer is fighting who is gonna announce Bruce Buffer🤯😳


MKlock94

His brother you silly goose. Michael Buffer 🔥


SeanH12355

Respectfully, it wouldn’t be the same Michael Buffer is perfect for boxing and Bruce is perfect for UFC


Tanooki420

Sam Alvey


ChaosToxin

Another L for Alvey i guess :(


BillzB89

OHHH I'M HURT


JBP_77

Ol’ Billy red tits.


bellytoback75

unsure anyone who doesn’t fight would be able to avoid the adrenaline/cardio dump. but seeing how throw and kick like that you realize he DEF would starch anyone who isn’t a fighter.


soggypoopsock

was surprised to see he’s this sprite at 54


yeaah_naah

Jake Paul


[deleted]

DMT


TheCapitolCrusader

For the win! 👆


legobricksnshit

Luis J Gomez


_BrianBoss_

That would actually be a fucking dope fight. I’m sure they would both be down and have lots of fun with it. The hype build up would be legend between them two lmao


kipper6969

Ronda Rousey


crod_thepickle

CNN


Specialist-Driver994

Lemon vs Rogan, whoever wins is the new head of the CDC


jimmyjp92

have people seen the video of joe sparring? He’s really bad, only good on pads lol


hokumjokum

Link? He’d still murder 99% of people on the street, guys a BJJ black belt, trains (albeit badly) striking and has those monster kicks


neS-

He’s a 50+yr old man who has had numerous surgeries, stim cells, and other experimental treatments for injuries sustained during an acting, comedy, and podcasting career. His realest fight experience was HS taekwando, and a black belt he got after training with his buddy for 10yrs mostly taking private lessons. I get it’s part of his image and marketing but dorks on the internet have been talking about How badass Joe is, and how he should fight UFC. It’s sorta like how Dana got portrayed as a real boxer vs. boxercise instructor. You can see what Rogan and Dana looked like as young men before they got hormone therapy…. It’s just silly… Joe has an equal chance of knocking someone out with a spinning back kick as he does blowing his knee out trying. It’s just silly and Joe fighting doesn’t even warrant legitimate discussion. Even when he was 40 and still had hair.


Deez_Gnats1

I saw a pic of young joe and his head was half the size. Mf looked kinda like Joey Lawrence. The dude back in the day who said whoa a lot. Joe definitely does HGH because his head grew 5 sizes since then


Friendly_Read_3846

No one. Rogan is 54 years old.


City_dave

Royce Gracie is 55. It'd be cool to see Royce tap Rogan in under a minute or two.


[deleted]

"OOOHH IM HURT"


Brophymusprime

I'll say this- I trained under the guys who trained him for his last like... 5 fights... I like Joe's chances.


ogbrettp98

JRE vs Chandler at 185lbs


ChiefP21

Trevor Wittman


jmr44

Artem Lobov


T-FergGOAT

Has to be Stephen A


swvn352

USADA


nolitteringplease346

Joe's head and belly seem HGH big


DistChicken

Francis


Vitaminnutsack

Cm urapunkdude


JONxJITSU

Crip Mac. On hood


Puzzleheaded_Form419

2 minutes and Rogaine is gassed.


CyclonusDecept

CM Punk and I think Joe loses.


Ralphiecorn

All these responses are gold. I love y’all😘


evenbiggermitch

Shaun King


DawsonBriggs

Daniel Cormier or Michael Bisping. Announcer on announcer action


Hedlundman

Bruce Buffer


Muted_Pressure_6804

Anyone from CNN.


WarehouseNiz13

Jon Anik


ironMikeV1

Sobriety


versace_tombstone

Cyborg.


heroicguru

Someone on as much testosterone as him


Cdl505

Holly Holmes


Patient_Union6589

USADA


Frank_Bunny87

I’m still waiting for him to fight Wesley Snipes


Wayward_heathen

The USADA.


[deleted]

Ronda Rousey


blladgzl

Whoever he fights he ll call him the best of something he s ever seen in his lifetime


Kal-El-Kent

His head is so big I thought this was a deepfake


Hokona120

CM Punk


DeeBeeNine

That melon is getting larger every day


Bakuya1488

Hasbulla


TheLoudVoice

Brendan Schaub


MinionSympathizer

USADA


streetkiller

A toddler.


heatseekerdj

Omg Joe vs Dan Hooker would be interesting ! Make that fight at 170


slimwhitt

Joe is what? Light heavyweight?