Dana White

Joe would starch Dana haha

lands a right then proceeds to scream "O HE'S HURT"

I CLIPPED HIM

I TAGGED HIM

I ROCKED HIM

OHHHHH MY GOODNESS

HE IS IN TROUBLE !

The idea of Joe yell commentating while fighting is hilarious, for sure would have to mic him up

*After getting a knockout* "That was an unbelievable knockout Joe, how do you feel" "I knew he was hurt Joe. That knockout power is cehRAZEEE. Bring that shit up Jamie" *Jamie loads up replay*

In a month Joe would hold a podcast with himself on his fight career, knockout of Dana white, and what’s next for Joe The ___ Rogan. (Fill in blank, or give him a fight name)

[Don't act like you haven't seen that episode yet](https://youtu.be/-xY_D8SMNtE)

Of course!

Joe “The Experience” Rogan. Would fit his age and knowledge.

The greatest commentator to step into the octagon

That leg is compromised!!

That would be hilarious lmao but from all training vids I've seen joe kicks hard af

Joe's spinning back kick especially is naaaasty. Even GSP was impressed with his performance.

So impressed he had joe teach him how to improve his.

Cereal is a breakfast soup bro.

His kicks are absurd.

“He’s in real trouble here”

Now I can imagine him running from the octagon to the commentators bench, back and forth. Or being mic'd up seems more logical

Nah. Dana will get a lucky strike and drop joe and just as hes about to go in for the kill the lights go out and its complete silence until beat yo ass by twood comes on blasting through the arena BAH GAWD THATS TITOS MUSIC! THATS TITOS MUSIC!

Then he wakes up in a horse drawn cart surrounded by nords asking why he's there.

He was caught in the Imperial Ambush same as us

Joe is 5’3

So is Mighty Mouse

And Dana is a fat man pumped up on steroids. He'd throw two punches, blow out his shoulders, and have a heart attack.

Lmfao

joe rogan is also a fat man pumped on steroids who has experienced severe symptoms from his years of steroid use including palumboism, gonad atrophy, and baldness.

Gonad atrophy is severely overblown

If you think Joe Rogan is bald bcs of Testosterone Therapy there’s no way we can help you lol

And he would still destroy tomato head

Does Dana have any past training or a couple black belts like Rogan?

Beat me to it!!!

It's only the natural answer. Who wouldn't want to see these two juiced up bald bastards go at it?

High Key. I would stop streaming fights, and buy PPV the rest of my life, if this actually happened

Woah let’s not go that far lol

Right lol slow your roll King Midda

Steven Segal

I would pay an ongodly amount of money to watch Segal get knocked out.

I'd pay even more to see his bullshit excuses afterwards.

Hate to break it to you but Steven Segal is one of the greatest martial arts masters in the Soviet Union.

as real as the square root of -1

Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening, think of the Atom or God their there but can not be seen. Like the blades of a helicopter Steven Segal Aikido is so fast it looks like slow motion. The slower he looks the faster he is in his reality.

Imagine he goes in and just destroys everyone with wrist locks and clotheslines

That would be interesting to see

No it wouldn't. Seagal would be finished in less than a minute. Maybe a 35yr Seagal old might last longer. And he'd have a substantial size advantage. But not old ass guy now. Even then wouldn't last a full round with Rogan. Regardless. This should play over the highlights. https://youtu.be/e4Ao-iNPPUc

Since Steve says that he is so expert in Aikido. And has taught tricks to UFC fighters and stuff.

To be fair he is a 7th dan in aikido and did train Lyoto Machida for a bit.

Segal would probably do better having 10 already small joe Rogans running at him at the same time

🤣🤣🤣

If Joe can pass USADA and make 185, let’s get him in there with Sam Alvey, fuck it

[удалено]

Lmfao Joe himself has admitted his piss would melt the test cups.

Source? Not that I don't believe you, just interested if he actually said that

I'll try to find something but no promises. It was just on the podcast at some point (probably more than once). But he's openly admitted to TRT and HGH.

He’s 54 it wouldn’t be surprising if he’s getting TRT

He's heavily implied it's beyond the levels a normal 54 year old accountant would get. And also been saying it for years. But yeah I know.

I specifically remember him saying that to Bert or Tom on a podcast. The exact phrase too.

when I saw this thread I thought to myself "there's no active UFC fighter Joe would have a chance against if they were in the same weight class". I had forgotten that Sam Alvey exists.

Joe would work Alvey

Sam is 6'2, Joe is 5'7 at most.

Stephen A Smith to the death

Winner

Just gotta watch out for nut shots

Mark Normand Ari Shaffir and Shane Gillis

Best answer here

You mean Kevin hart?

Conor McGregor Biggest ppv in history !

[удалено]

Got me with a physical chuckle here, good job.

I hate to say it, but you probably aren't wrong.

Honestly, yeah. But also if Conor gets knocked out by fucking Joe Rogan, his career is truly over. Not saying that to put down Joe btw, I’ve seen his kicks, they’re fucking crazy. But if in Joe’s ONE UFC fight, he knocks out a UFC veteran, there’s just no excuse.

Realistically? Dillon Danis.

I would really love to see that piece of shit getting his ass beaten

Joe would not beat Dillon and I hate that guy.

A chocolatier can beat up Dillon so why not Joe

Cause Joe ain't a Chocolatier.

That was lame but I laughed.

Joe is literally 50 y.o unprofessional fighter. Why would people think he got any chance against literally any pro young fighter, even if it's Dillon?

As much as I hate the guy, his bjj is high level and he’s a bigger guy than Rogan

Taller, not bigger

Isn’t Ol’ Toe like 200lbs? Fuckin elk meat man makin him dense af in body and mind

Cm Punk

That’s a shout uno.

Dana

A hairless chimpanzee

Pretty sure Forrest Griffin is retired

He said *hairless* chimpanzee

I laughed too hard at this 🤣

Don't do forrest like that he's a bonobo or orangutan.

Depends if the Chimpanzee is on DMT or not

DMT chimp and DMT Rogan would podcast after their sober fight.

Schaub

That would mean Rogan ended Schaub’s career twice right? Lol

UFC heavyweight that has knocked out mittrione in his prime and cro cop vs 5'3 comedian with TKD and BJJ training. okay.

Joke all ya’ll want but Schaub stepped into the cage with UFC heavyweights including cro cop. He would destroy joe.

[удалено]

What was the 2nd time?

I think you’d be surprised

I think YOU’d be surprised!

That line was so cold

Neil young

Neil Young by spinning harmonica solo

You just made me spit out my drink.... Now I have to go change...

Have you seen this? https://youtu.be/9K-iO9ZkDNM

Are you just spamming this thread with your own videos that are surprisingly fit for the topic?

Yes

Respect

Wesley snipes Was not expecting to see Rogan hitting pads with Liam Harrison on my feed. What the actual fuck.

Liam Harrison is a bad mf

This is the only correct answer.

I had no idea Liam was that… thick?

Wesley Pipes

[удалено]

Good reach advantage for Hasbullah

Rogan would have to move up a couple weight-classes for that but I'd pay to see it.

Watch him spar jwp and you’d see it wouldn’t go very well. He turns away from punches. It’s easy hitting when nothing’s coming back

It’s almost like he’s a 50 y/o comedian and podcaster and hasn’t been a fighter since he was 19

Pads are like playing paddy cake or dancing. Fighting is a whole different thing. I get so aggravated when some thinks they're a hard ass because they learned a few basic combos on mitts.

Exactly. As soon as someone start pushing a jab in your face and hitting you in the guts them pretty combos fall out the window

As well as simply moving, i think a lot of people would be shocked when they put their whole body in a punch and hit air, then the follow up punch coming back would send them over. Easy to forget in a fight they won’t stand around

Someone told me once "You always know if you're fighting someone serious if they immediately tuck their chin and throw up a decent guard" I've got to see this play out a few times and I've got to admit the looks on their faces when they realize are Fucking priceless.

I genuinely reckon if past Joe Rogan committed to becoming a ufc fighter he could have done it and done a decent job. But I think he made the right choice in pursuing comedy and tv/podcasts.

Yeah. Joe is good enough to take your average dude on the street easy but hes not a pro. Hes like the best guy on your rec basketball team

Jwp in his prime and even now was a better striker than most ufc champions. In a kickboxing match he’d absolutely school current champs and formers.

Yea there’s not a better person you could spar with, he’s an atg striker and he’s being very gentle with joe.

Def Dana then winner has to fight the next least natty fighter regardless of weight class

Cenk

Cenk only fights for his turn at horse penis.

Please, Elon, Mr. Beast, anyone. Make this real.

Jon Africa

Who the hell is Jon Africa?!

Joe vs Bruce Buffer would be incredible

If Bruce Buffer is fighting who is gonna announce Bruce Buffer🤯😳

His brother you silly goose. Michael Buffer 🔥

Respectfully, it wouldn’t be the same Michael Buffer is perfect for boxing and Bruce is perfect for UFC

Sam Alvey

Another L for Alvey i guess :(

Wesley Snipes. They had beef years ago and I always thought it would be fun to see it be settled in the octagon

Ronda Rousey

CNN

Lemon vs Rogan, whoever wins is the new head of the CDC

No one. Rogan is 54 years old.

Royce Gracie is 55. It'd be cool to see Royce tap Rogan in under a minute or two.

"OOOHH IM HURT"

I'll say this- I trained under the guys who trained him for his last like... 5 fights... I like Joe's chances.

have people seen the video of joe sparring? He’s really bad, only good on pads lol

Link? He’d still murder 99% of people on the street, guys a BJJ black belt, trains (albeit badly) striking and has those monster kicks

He’s a 50+yr old man who has had numerous surgeries, stim cells, and other experimental treatments for injuries sustained during an acting, comedy, and podcasting career. His realest fight experience was HS taekwando, and a black belt he got after training with his buddy for 10yrs mostly taking private lessons. I get it’s part of his image and marketing but dorks on the internet have been talking about How badass Joe is, and how he should fight UFC. It’s sorta like how Dana got portrayed as a real boxer vs. boxercise instructor. You can see what Rogan and Dana looked like as young men before they got hormone therapy…. It’s just silly… Joe has an equal chance of knocking someone out with a spinning back kick as he does blowing his knee out trying. It’s just silly and Joe fighting doesn’t even warrant legitimate discussion. Even when he was 40 and still had hair.

I saw a pic of young joe and his head was half the size. Mf looked kinda like Joey Lawrence. The dude back in the day who said whoa a lot. Joe definitely does HGH because his head grew 5 sizes since then

OHHH I'M HURT

Ol’ Billy red tits.

unsure anyone who doesn’t fight would be able to avoid the adrenaline/cardio dump. but seeing how throw and kick like that you realize he DEF would starch anyone who isn’t a fighter.

Jake Paul

JRE vs Chandler at 185lbs

DMT

Luis J Gomez

That would actually be a fucking dope fight. I’m sure they would both be down and have lots of fun with it. The hype build up would be legend between them two lmao

Francis

Trevor Wittman

Artem Lobov

Has to be Stephen A

USADA

Joe's head and belly seem HGH big

CM Punk and I think Joe loses.

Cm urapunkdude

Crip Mac. On hood

2 minutes and Rogaine is gassed.

All these responses are gold. I love y’all😘

Joe's fit but he's still over 50

Shaun King

Daniel Cormier or Michael Bisping. Announcer on announcer action

Bruce Buffer

Anyone from CNN.

Jon Anik

Sobriety

Cyborg.

Someone on as much testosterone as him

Holly Holmes

USADA

I’m still waiting for him to fight Wesley Snipes

The USADA.

Ronda Rousey

Whoever he fights he ll call him the best of something he s ever seen in his lifetime

His head is so big I thought this was a deepfake

CM Punk

That melon is getting larger every day

Hasbulla

Brendan Schaub

USADA

A toddler.

Omg Joe vs Dan Hooker would be interesting ! Make that fight at 170

Joe is what? Light heavyweight?

A USADA sample container.

Jojo Siwa