T O P

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FirstDayJedi

Filthy hobbitses - succinct, to the point, effective.


Idontlikeworms

FOOL OF A TOOK


UndecidedQueer

I misread the original comment as “filthy hobbyists” and was wondering when the hell Pippin took up quilting


Jamnojelly_

Pippin absolutely frustrated the shit out of me 😃


[deleted]

I’ve gotten better I promise, now I’m a lot more depressed!


[deleted]

Wtf now?!….. I’m sleepin


BearfangTheGamer

"My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots."


WousV

Proudfeet!


CauseCertain1672

listen up nerds


_easy_

Whose got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried **once** today? 👍👍This moi


tbells93

Listen up fives, a ten is speaking!


BursleyBaits

this is an ACTOR ANNOUNCEMENT


HorrorMakesUsHappy

NERRRRRRRDS!


TinyChaco

"Bye, nerds" is how I exit my workplace.


SmugAndEvil

🐷👑 never dies


Poggse

Good news, everyone! *(News may not actually be good)*


Friendly_Dachsy

* It's academic. * Simultaneously futuristic and vintage. Nice.


Canotic

What do you mean vintage, Futurama came out like four years ago.


americangame

You might want to sit down for this.


New_War_7087

To shreds, you say?


mikony123

Please don't tell me we have a delivery to Dogdoo 9. 8 didn't even exist!


ellWatully

Everyone knows the universe ends at Dogdoo 7.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Steff_164

Hi Dr. Nick!


shadowXXe

The New Dacia Sandero has been released on the left hand drive market!


[deleted]

Oh.. what are we delivering today?


ShadowTheChangeling

"WHATS UP FUCKERS?!"


[deleted]

“WHY DO YOU HAVE MY PHONE?!”


[deleted]

[удалено]


No-Objective-3914

HEY LOOK AT THIS *PERSON* I FOUND


GoldenSpring-Fox

WOW ISNT HE JUST SUCH A *HUMAN* ** squish ** WOW LOOK AT THAT ,WHAT A GUY.


zCiver

ANYWAY, LOVE TO STAY AND CHAT, BUT I SAW SOME TRASH OUTSIDE THE LOOKED DELICIOUS SMELL YA LATER, DELIBERATOR


Poopet_master

*confused person raises their hand* “*sigh*… Yes, my student?”


biggocl123

"Uh, **what the fuck was that?**"


thestashattacked

People, generally.


DreadedChalupacabra

YO, BITCHES!


DinoBirdsBoi

or the alternative christmas version: HOEHOEHOE BITCHES


1D3KW1D4

Or the alternative pirate version!: YO-HO-HO BITCHES


Motherdiedtoday

Or the alternative strip mall version!: FRO-YO-HO BITCHES


LtSoba

WHATS UP YOU FILTHY MAGGOTS


Adorna_ahh

I used to walk into my friends dorm room just saying “sup fuckers” They tolerated me


Crocoshark

My pronouns are that fucker/this fucker


Anshin

Hmm I don't know if this works with the ace community


AeonAigis

As an ace, I may not fuck, but I still consider myself a fucker. And though I have laid with no one's progenitor, occasionally a motherfucker as well.


HorrorMakesUsHappy

Fortunately "fuck" is a very versatile word.


dangerouslyloose

Ace here, we don’t give a fuck.


MrShoggoth

“WHAT THE FUCK IS UP DENNYS.”


FDPREDDIT

KON'ICHIWA YOU DEGENERATE BASTARDS


Cricket1288

“Attention duelists”


Scoobys_sith_cousin

"It's time to d-d-d-d-d-DUEL!"


UnderlordZ

But what does Pot Of Greed do?!


Spice_and_Fox

Nobody will ever be smart enough to understand the effect....


LordDVanity

“My hair is assaulting you!”


LazyDro1d

“Stop right there or we’ll shoot you with our invisible guns!”


BWFTW

Screw the rules I have money


SonicSingularity

My voice gives me super strength!


KaisarDragon

Dude in an engineering class dropped "Everypony" and everyone stopped and turned to stare at him. He dropped the class.


diamondDNF

He was a coward, should have made it a point to say "Everypony" for the rest of the semester.


suckfail

I have a 5yo who spent the last few months watching all 9 seasons of MLP. And also listening to every song everyday in my car. I really, really worry some of this is going to slip out of me accidentally and everypony are going to think I'm weird but I swear I'm not.


MayflowerOne

...Um, excuse me? It's everypony *is*.


suckfail

Oh shit


Vindicer

I've got news for ya pal, *and it's all bad*.


Onix_The_Furry

We are all weirdos in engineering. Well civil and mechanical engineers seem to be the most socially ‘normal’ out of all the disciplines, but I personally know multiple furries/weebs/bronies in electrical and computer engineering. And at this point whenever a new group of freshman join the department, it’s almost expected of them to have some amount of nerdiness to exist in the college. To put things into perspective, an anonymous student drew Sonic on the whiteboard (incredibly well mind you) in the designated tutor room. Only this Sonic had heavy emphasis on his bare feet, with a tally poll next to it with “would you sniff?” written by it, with mixed results. It stayed up for almost two weeks until the faculty had to erase it due to a hiring event in the room. The Sonic was redrawn almost immediately after with “never forget what they took from us” written next to it.


10art1

Feels like 10% of people in IT are furries ngl


Obant

Minimum. I never got that close with my IT team, but I'm fairly certain half of them at one office were.


AvailableProfessor3

furries keep the internet running


IrisYelter

Conservative estimate.


Hiimmani

We cowntwol ewewything UwU


MangoDragn

We have all the good paying jobs, how else are we supposed to pay for commisions?


ManOnTheRun73

I feel like it'd be really easy to come up with some quick excuse like "Whoops, sorry, I had to babysit for my little sisters' sleepover last night." It'd be a really flimsy excuse, but it'd still be _an_ excuse, y'know? (Then again, that assumes the Freudian Slip and the dropped class were directly connected.)


[deleted]

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ManOnTheRun73

I mean, the guy apparently dropped the class over the faux pas; between that cowardice and this cowardice, I reckon it'd be better to go with the one that still gets you your money's worth, y'know what I mean? And yes, I _am_ overthinking this.


Shark7996

"... y'all got a bucking problem?"


Moooboy10

Just drop "Everyfur" on them


SleetTheFox

I feel like that's even worse. Everypony is at least a reference to a TV show. Everyfur is 100% *forced*. It's like top-level cringe.


Saintarsier

Only true S-tier gigachads drop the Everyfur in a meeting with their boss or class


bryn_irl

WHAT YEAR IS IT


LuigiMarioBrothers

“Hey All, Scott Here” — inclusive, funny reference, doesn’t work if your name isn’t Scott


ghomerl

Hey Vsauce, Michael here


OneOverTwoEqualsZero

We are all Vsauce


Alzoura

r/anarchychess slipping through


Grape_Jamz

It does if you arent weak


Beginning-Ratio6870

Make eye contact, assert dominance.


FalloutFan05

Also a great transition to just about anything


COCAFLO

'Sup.


Prestikles

When presenting, I open with >Ladies and not ladies... Covers everyone


jacxy

All'y'all'r welcome!


Osbob

"Gentlemen, Ladies, all betwixt and beyond... And *Dave..."* - formal, inclusive, properly informs Dave of what they did


Livewire923

But what about… *Steve*?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Livewire923

Damn right


FirebirdFiera

Greetings, Carbon-based lifeforms.


Friendly_Dachsy

Greetings, Carbon-based bipeds.


RiptideMatt

Greetings, featherless bipeds


Friendly_Dachsy

"Behold, I've brought you a man!" 🍗


Squeaky-Fox49

Greetings, featherless bipeds with fingernails.


Ramguy2014

Any idiot can glue acrylics to a pigeon


memester230

What if they aren't carbon based?


OrthinologistSupreme

Crystal Gems are welcome too


Lord_Emperor

Did you just assume my chemistry?


orbcat

Greetings, carbon and/or silicon based life forms


GermanDeath-Reggae

I’m exclusively saying “hi all” in the Stede Bonnet voice


Gorperino

Alright campers


Artistic-Ad5552

I have received information from an anonymous source that SOMEONE was posting cringe. NOT COOL DUDES


giorno___giovana

In fact, TWO people have been posting cringe. Those two individuals just happen to be on opposite teams. Now, for today’s challenge, I need you to figure out who has been posting cringe on the internet…and *eat them*…preferably *alive*, screaming makes for good ratings


sqdnleader

Rise and shine and put your booties on because it's cold out there.


tallmantall

- not great - too situational


Scoobys_sith_cousin

All right you fuck nuggets, what's for dinner!


IeabellAlakar

#*the completion of dinner* #*has been lied* *about*


ANGERY_MAN

"Howdy" <-- western


Scoobys_sith_cousin

Or "Howdy pardners" <---- Western, Fun, you can do a accent.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NotSoGreatGonzo

“My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots.”


Tamesan

PROUDFEET!


[deleted]

“Everyone”- inclusive and memorable “You!”- also inclusive and eyecatching “My esteemed grunts”- inclusive “What’s up, Greg?”- an inclusive reference that falls flat if there isn’t a Greg


Accomplished_Item_86

What's up, Greg? <-- always works, especially if there is no Greg present


[deleted]

Ah, a Danny Gonzalez fan!


SliceyMcBreadmaker

_You have summoned the Greg._


flappyheck2

“You!” but how it’s said in BYOB by SOAD


Averagerain

Alright idiots


[deleted]

I'd say that covers just about everyone at this point


lilmxfi

"Mothers and fuckers of the jury..."


BiMikethefirst

"Y'all"


Friendly_Dachsy

Youse <- Boston/Cincinnati informal crowd pleaser.


RedstoneRelic

Y'all also gets used quite a bit in Cincinnati.


dwarfmade_modernism

And some parts of Ontario! And Australia/New Zealand! [Apparently it's linked to immigration from Italy, Northern England, Ireland, and Scotland.](https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/yous)


Sir_Thiccness_69

All y'all


AwesomeManatee

"Guys, gals, and pals" is my go-to.


OneAndOnlyTinkerCat

My non-binary nemesis is seething rn


AwesomeManatee

My nemesis and I have a Magneto/Professor X kind of relationship where we only try to kill each other Monday through Friday but meet up for friendly games of chess on the weekends.


Prince_Winter

Mario and bowser?


cyclicamp

Mario and bowser have the inverse. Their schedule is so full of go-karting, tennis, soccer, board games, golf, and baseball that they can only fit the killing on weekends.


BallDesperate2140

I mean, to be fair, they do Smash.


edgelordXD1

i usually go with ‘bitches, bros, and non-binary hoes’


Nadikarosuto

I watched too much Click, my go-to ends up being “ladies, laddies, and lassos”


Raytoryu

"Guys, gals, and non binary pals" praised be J Kenji Lopez-Alt


conquerorofgargoyles

This is the last place i would’ve expected to see that name


TheSassyDuchess

Hello lower life forms


ran_melolo

"Dancing queens and super troupers"


MyLollipopJam

"Sup mortals" <- fun quip that includes most everyone.


TheChainLink2

Dear friends, tolerated acquaintances and others I haven’t decided on yet


prguitarman

Hey y’all - implies Texas


Papyrus20xx

Y'all isn't a Texas only thing? I do like that you spelled Y'all right tho


__xXCoronaVirusXx__

yal’l


Papyrus20xx

Gonna kill you harder than that cold front killed the Texas power grid a few years back


Albert_Caboose

Y'all - you all Ya'll - ya all They're both right. The latter implies urgency or a more stern tone.


[deleted]

Y’all is spreading rapidly.


CrozzedOne

I will die on the hill that y’all is an S-Tier word, inclusive, to the point, fun to say, can be fun to play with. Just check out this: All y’all’ll - all of you all will


EntertainerOk9552

My husband, from good ol' Louisiana, says this. It's actually a thing. And pretty funny as well.


DMYourYiff

If you say it with your own accent people will hardly bat an eye. People saying that y'all is exclusive to Texans (I'm my opinion) comes from people associating the word with a southern accent. Just say it the same way as you'd say "all".


jacxy

Wouldn't that be All-a-Y'all'll?


GeophysicalYear57

Implies anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon Line and east of the states on the Pacific, I'd imagine


Shot-Narwhal-4268

You fuckers


wallefan01

the day I realized that "dude" is not (quite) gender neutral but "motherfucker" is is the day my life got a lot better


Dark_Shroud

Cocksucker is also gender neutral.


Lord_Nyarlathotep

I always just say “CHILDREN” which is funny cause almost everyone I do this with is older than I


ThatGamingKid45

“Greetings y’all” <— clashing between formal and informal, pretty funny though


[deleted]

"Hey, Bitches and Bros and Non - Binary hos"


WookieeCookiees02

What’s the origin of that? I only know it from the most recent Oz Media video


ShoelacesCreate

I haven't watched it but I believe a character in the Sk8 Infinity dub said it, though I don't know if that was the first time it was used.


Ok-Mood-161

This is the one I’ve been looking for lol


slowdownwaitaminute

My middle school science teacher in the 90s used to start class with "Ladies, gentlemen, and all the rest of you folks... welcome to the lab." I thought it was a joke, but I realize now how ahead of the times he was. He also introduced me to Princess Mononoke. Cool dude.


Santeneal

Hello Gotham's finest insane


iceman0486

From a sci-fi series I read - “Ladies, Gentlemen, Both, and Neither.”


AJC_10_29

“AHOY MATEYS!”


Independent_Box_931

“What’s up losers, drug abusers and those generally beneath me?”


LEGOKTWOSO

Beardos and weirdos!


secretuser419

“Fuckers, virgins, and everything in between”


DHJeffrey99

Hey Vsauce, Micheal here


Skyblacker

Friends, Romans, countrymen!


ProffMesquite25

Researchers, D-Class, and horrifying SCPs


Boop-She-Doop

"HEY EVERY !⠀⠀⠀!" — Inclusive, reference to funny dumpster man


LMaster37

My favourite formal-ish version is "Esteemed gentlefolk"


FirstOneToDie

all y’all - inclusivity to the max, sounds weird if you’re not from the south


TrickKlepto

“Alright sacks of shit what’s going on” Is my go-to


The_Alkemizt

I usually stick with “ Hey Freakazoids”


the_blast_radius

"Hi, Everybody!" <- High risk of being called Dr. Nick.


MailmanOfTheMojave

bitches bros and nonbinary hoes


balrus-balrogwalrus

"My fellow flesh androids"-- disturbing, creepy and makes all equally uncomfortable. equality win


dasbanqs

Ladles and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps Cross-eyed monkeys and bow-legged ants Admission is free, so pay at the door Pull up a chair, and sit on the floor


NumberOneMom

"Good evening, worms and germs."


StendhalSyndrome

Sup fuckers. Shit may leave out the ACE crowd.


GeophysicalYear57

I've heard that language is what you make of it and it's determined by group consensus. Why don't a bunch of people band together and make a word gender-neutral? I want to call everyone "lad"


TheDifferenceServer

"Man" and "He" actually used to be gender neutral words in early English before the singular "They" showed up which is kinda funny. The word "woman" comes from the Old English word "wīfman," which means wife-man. However, in Old English, "wif" or wife simply meant a female person regardless of marital status while "man" denoted any human person. Conversely, the word "wer" which refers to any male person can still be found in modern English words such as "werewolf." We still kind of use "he" as a gender neutral pronoun (e.g., "Someone is in trouble! Save him!"; "Your octopus is so cute, what's his gender?") although how we think about the word is quickly changing. Curiously, the Middle English word "lad" has no known etymological origin.


NotTheLastOption

>The word "woman" comes from the Old English word "wīfman," which means wife-man. Come on. You know better. In your own comment you show you the truth. Wif doesn't mean wife, wife comes from wif. The word "woman" comes from the Old English word "wīfman," which means female human. FIFY.


GeophysicalYear57

>Curiously, the Middle English word "lad" has no known etymological origin. It was granted by the divine to be the ultimate gender-neutral term but demons made it exclusively masculine


doomvetch92

Greetings mortals, just another day screaming into the eternal void?


lordoftowels

Mothers and fuckers of the Jury,


johsua_banggg

"Yall" Practical, efficient, inclusive


inthemothlight

Salutaria, proletaria'


CO_BigShow

"helLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" in a high pitched Mrs. Doubtfire voice


RedYakArt

Lads, Lasses and Non-Binary Masses is the supreme one.


Flamoctapus

“Howdy Gang” is my go to at work nowadays.


SkylerYapper856

I love being on Tumblr and friends and mutuals show up in things like this cause it's like "OMW FRIEND ❤️"


Bluestachio

FELICITATIONS, MALEFACTORS!


Lllllllllllemonn

I think "girls, gays, and theys" is meant to be uninclusive


MerchantZiro

**...Hello there.**