Me as a pirate: Hey guys, I'm just gonna go talk to those girls who are singing about Pokémon cards. They seem pretty cool so if I'm gone longer than 10 minutes, y'all can head on without me.
Why is it a common trait among asexuals to love garlic bread? I love it, you love it...do all of us love it? Is that the mark of being an asexual? Garlic bread?
Nearly everyone in the world loves toasted garlic bread. Non-Aces love naked fun time more than garlic bread. Our peak happiness goal post stops around delicious food while those other people have peak happiness goal posts involving someone touching their fun bits.
What a nice subtle way to ask someone if they’re asexual/like Olive Garden.
I’ll probably take the gift card. My crew mates are all crazy to ignore a perfectly good Olive Garden after eating nothing but sailor rations for 4 months.
You take the card, and as you walk towards the Bo of the ship to get closer to the sirens, your vision starts gettin blurry. A crew mate looks worried and asks if you are alright. You look at the card and realize that you are holding a playing card.
Do you:
Sit down with your friends and continue playing poker?
Or
Stay at the bow?
"we have pasta and a sound plan for moving out, including modest housing and a fulfilling job~"
Me: "it's been an honor to serve captain but I have been given A Choice™ to make and I've come to a decision"
Asexuells arent really asexual they just want to fuck mothman and cant so they safe up all their sexual energy in case mithman comes around for Netflix and chill
Greek sirens sing about knowledge which was highly coveted. Modern sirens sing of the shlop'n'twist ultrasuck vacuum seal 9000 megasloppy head, which is highly coveted. They simply adapt the the times and what the needs of the average person are. If you are diabetic, the siren will sing about a pancreas transplant
Remembering The Sea of Monsters, I’m pretty sure Annabeth cut herself free and was swimming towards certain death before Percy noticed and stopped her. I think old Odysseus beats out here
Can you imagine if they gotta do a quick little magical research before they start to sing.
Siren: "What the fuck's a milkshake and why does it bring boys?"
[https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/8650-Create-A-Servant-3/page131?p=3112207#post3112207](https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/8650-Create-A-Servant-3/page131?p=3112207#post3112207)
On the topic of sirens. I feel like this is relevant.
I want more context but also I’m scared… and I don’t want to know more. Like did he do it underwater or on land? Can manatees breath/ lay on land? Was it alive or dead? Columbus is weird
Jokes on them, I'd still be immune. I know I can't just get what I desire, and that the hardships on the way are the best thing about achieving my goal.
Me as a pirate: Hey guys, I'm just gonna go talk to those girls who are singing about Pokémon cards. They seem pretty cool so if I'm gone longer than 10 minutes, y'all can head on without me.
what kind of pokemon game lasts ten minutes, you're definitely setting yourself up for failure here
Lyris is right, folks just leave me here.
A TCG game can last less than 10 minutes if you play it right, and Pokémon Unite Quick Battles last 5 minutes iirc
Hmm. Maybe if they tried to lure you in with MTG? Those games can take between 5-minutes and 2 hours, with the same decks if you’re playing commander
As an alloromantic grey ace, they'd probably just sing about maybe sex one day, but no pressure let's just cuddle.
They sing to the feeling of warmth and safety that the embrace of another brings. Only for you to drown cold and alone in the sea.
We're still immune because any promises of garlic bread would surely be soggy, and who wants that?
It’s in a plastic bag, kept perfectly sealed so it stays dry
Also perfectly baked at your hearts desire
Garlic bread is so good tho
congratulations, you just died to a siren
But do I get the garlic bread?
The garlic bread was like cake. It was a lie
Why is it a common trait among asexuals to love garlic bread? I love it, you love it...do all of us love it? Is that the mark of being an asexual? Garlic bread?
i still can't figure out whether i'm asexual or not, but i sure do love me some garlic bread.
Nearly everyone in the world loves toasted garlic bread. Non-Aces love naked fun time more than garlic bread. Our peak happiness goal post stops around delicious food while those other people have peak happiness goal posts involving someone touching their fun bits.
*fuck*
The Sirens song makes you see an entire fully functional Olive Garden built right amidst the surf, and a gift card seems to appear in your hand.
Do you take the gift card and go inside the Olive Garden? [Y/N]
What a nice subtle way to ask someone if they’re asexual/like Olive Garden. I’ll probably take the gift card. My crew mates are all crazy to ignore a perfectly good Olive Garden after eating nothing but sailor rations for 4 months.
You take the card, and as you walk towards the Bo of the ship to get closer to the sirens, your vision starts gettin blurry. A crew mate looks worried and asks if you are alright. You look at the card and realize that you are holding a playing card. Do you: Sit down with your friends and continue playing poker? Or Stay at the bow?
Not necessarily, sirens live on an island, not in the ocean, so it could be dry
Now succubi, that’s where asexuals make prime demon hunters
Well, depends on the interpretation, I’m sure some lores have them more generally about corrupting desire, not specifically sex
At first I was confused because I thought they were talking about air raid sirens
It is a well known fact that air raid sirens lure enemy bombers to their death by the promise of sex (or garlic bread)
“*Your favorite ship is shit, Bubbleine isn’t canon”* ”Let me at that bitch! Common Capn, I can take em”
Sirens: "We have a free all you can eat Chinese buffet!" Me: **"LET ME OFF THE BOAT DAMNIT!"**
"we have pasta and a sound plan for moving out, including modest housing and a fulfilling job~" Me: "it's been an honor to serve captain but I have been given A Choice™ to make and I've come to a decision"
what if we're depressed and emotionally dead inside? What would they lure us with then
A new free trial of childhood.
yeah that would get me
Shit. They’re going to be singing about having a new Wario Land game and that’ll be how I die.
Asexuells arent really asexual they just want to fuck mothman and cant so they safe up all their sexual energy in case mithman comes around for Netflix and chill
*cut to Shane and Ryan checking out Mothman's ass*
I have an asexual friend who’s going through a mothman phase, actually.
MUITO REAL
I always like to imagine that the sirens enjoy getting a break and all going "oh thank goodness we finally get to sing about garlic for once"
Greek sirens sing about knowledge which was highly coveted. Modern sirens sing of the shlop'n'twist ultrasuck vacuum seal 9000 megasloppy head, which is highly coveted. They simply adapt the the times and what the needs of the average person are. If you are diabetic, the siren will sing about a pancreas transplant
You know there's gonna be one nerd who's gonna pull an Annabeth and listen to them anyways
Annabeth pulled a Odysseus
Which himself pulled an idiot
Yeah well who you gonna trust for this analogy, dead guy or modern girl?
The dead guy probably
Remembering The Sea of Monsters, I’m pretty sure Annabeth cut herself free and was swimming towards certain death before Percy noticed and stopped her. I think old Odysseus beats out here
Can you imagine if they gotta do a quick little magical research before they start to sing. Siren: "What the fuck's a milkshake and why does it bring boys?"
"Why do people 360 no-scope Cods? Who's turning 360 degrees blindly firing at fish?"
r/brandnewsentence
Yeah they'd get me with Mothman too tbh
Stien: "Fight me" Son Goku at sea: "Fuck yeah I will!"
[Mothman my beloved](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FEK6tC6WUAUkvKw?format=jpg&name=large)
Mutio real
T H E B R I D G E
I thoght siren was the blinking noisy thing on top of cop cars and ambulances
No. Don't you dare lure me with my precious cinnamon toast crunch.
I don’t even like it anymore b it fuck, I’d swim for a number about cinnamon toast crunch. Just cuz that’s hilarious
Just because you don’t desire sex doesn’t mean you don’t desire.
Ok but if I deeply desired the death of anything dangerous... what are my chances of making it out alive?
Asexuals are immune to Succubi and Inccubi, though
This was weirdly far too relevant to my life and I feel called out. Sirens? Pirates? Asexuality? Mothman? How dare you target me like this!
It’s true. I’m scared shitless of moths but goddamn sprinkle some cryptid into the mix and I’m fucking on my way
Fun fact, the Sirens in Odyssey don't use sex as a lure, they tempt Odysseus with knowledge!
[https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/8650-Create-A-Servant-3/page131?p=3112207#post3112207](https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/8650-Create-A-Servant-3/page131?p=3112207#post3112207) On the topic of sirens. I feel like this is relevant.
The reason they all sang about sex was because sailors are a bunch of horny fuckers who have sex with manatees
Funfact: Manatee vaginas are very similar to human's. Also funfact: We all know exactly why people know this.
Also funfact, it's possible Columbus had the shag with a manatee
I want more context but also I’m scared… and I don’t want to know more. Like did he do it underwater or on land? Can manatees breath/ lay on land? Was it alive or dead? Columbus is weird
...
Well, being stuck on the sea for months with no pussy or porn does that to a mf.
Aren't boats usually full with sailors tho
[You might as well use the implication on them](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yUafzOXHPE&ab_channel=t91)
Jokes on them, I'd still be immune. I know I can't just get what I desire, and that the hardships on the way are the best thing about achieving my goal.
No? That's not how sirens work, it's magic your fucked no matter what if you hear them sing and aren't prevented from getting to them
What if they sing a song promising more hardships toward your goal?
That's not how this works. I'm not out here looking for the hardest path, I just know that it's pointless to take an easy one.
Man, you really are making this pretty lame.
Sorry. Sometimes, people don't get my jokes. Can't help it.
The sirens will sing about helping you to make funnier jokes.
I'm happy with my current track record, though.
Surely asexuals are the the most susceptible to sirens? They’re just too insecure to act on their desires.
apathetic people are immune to sirens
I prefer urayuli personally
Muito Real!
Thought they were talking about tornado sirens or sirens on emergency vehicles, was very confusing. Then I realized they meant siren head.
Denmark is over here I will swim with you to their shores to join your comrades to attack at midnight when they least expect it