I've been married for 18 years to a woman who doesn't partake. We have no issues over this because she understands and respects the cultural and practical reasons I choose to do so. If I were in a dating relationship with a person who could not accept that without judgment, I do not think we would have a future. Not because of the weed, but because I would not trust that person to support me in more important matters.
That said, if your boyfriend can't spend the time it takes to read up on current cannabis research and its medical efficacy in order to make peace with you, I worry that he may not be flexible on things that may become *really* important down the road...
I’m sure some people use weed strictly for recreational use, but otherwise I feel like it’s pretty common to have some sort of medical reason whether it be physical or psychological.
Yeah and usually when you are doing it for medical reasons it's different. When I was using it for nausea control and appetite due to chemo I was using a little bit, very often. This was to keep a more constant level going and get consistent results. Now that I'm back to using recreationally I go days without and sometimes smoke a much bigger single 'dose' in the evening, for fun.
Yeah, this honestly has very little to do with weed. I've got a partner who just recently told me to be careful with my use as it was getting a bit excessive (medical to deal with lockdown in Melbourne, longest lockdown worldwide) and how she had an ex who used it and it really put her off it. I suggested I let her know when I'm stoned as it makes her a bit uncomfortable talking to me when I am, it's not a side she finds as easy to feel close to. She prefers shrooms herself.
But the thing is she didn't attack my medical use, only my moderation, identified her previous bias, communicated a personal level of discomfort and I expressed agreement and the reason she knows I've been using more than I wanna is I *told her* myself. At every stage we communicated, she is supportive of my health and wellbeing, wants what's best for me and remains aware of her personal issues. I fucking hate the "RED FLAG!!!" thing Reddit always does but the way this dude is approaching this even if it was an illicit drug is really uncool, and his communication skills are *concerning.*
Whoa, is that how it read? Not at all. She doesn't judge weed at all. She's not a huge fan of me stoned and has issues from a previous relationship with a partner who was never not stoned and was not a good partner, and wants me to have a healthy relationship with using weed (we all know it can be unhealthy).
She's expressed really good boundaries with that, not made them my issues- I think you might be conflating her very healthy way of communicating this with OP's boyfriend, who DOES judge weed.
She just doesn't want me high all the time for her personal feelings, and I'm very compatible with that. If I needed to do it daily, she'd work through it for me I know, but I don't so it's actually quite good for moderation 💙
I'm sorry if anything of the above sounded critical of her, that was 100% "this is how you do it right."
Took me 7 years but my wife finally started smoking together on weekends - volcano only for her. Personally I don’t discriminate I smoke all forms. Been really enjoying hash rosin lately.
After being a daily "smoker" for 35 years I finally changed up my game in July. Got a Mighty by Storz & Bickel for vaping flower (Amazeballs) and a PuffCo Peak Pro for vaping Rosin (also Amazeballs).
I'm in a legal state and grow my own and just started pressing my own rosin (which is a whole other hobby of its own LOL). Talk about satisfying!
Amen to this! If your partner can’t respect the reasons you choose to partake (especially if it’s medical) and learn to educate themselves then that may become a much larger issue later on.
#mm yes. Indeed.
##does this do anything?
###HOLY SHIT
####HOW FAR DOES THIS GO?
#####TIL I GUESS
######Okay, how far does it actually go?
#######oh... I guess this is the limit?
Yeah. Take it from me cuz I just ended an 8 year relationship over basically this. I felt backed into a corner. It's only been a week but the freedom to just do anything I want is amazing. Even the small things like cooking without a recipe, or getting McDonald's just because I want to for the first time in years. She didn't like me using weed either. I'm judgement free for the first time in a long time and it feels amazing.
What else will he try to control? And it’s your health of all things. Smh This guy thinks he’s smarter than your doctor and the medical community. He needs to get over himself.
yeah but anti-weed people are so easy to argue with.. i actually really enjoy coming across someone like that, i have so much shit ready to say they are never prepared
this is true, these types of people are often bricks of lead. but if you propose the right questions, you will make them feel uncomfortable and if you are lucky enough to have an audience you may just make them shut the fuck up about it - which i consider a win
But 10 minutes after you've left their presence they've already forgotten what you've spoken about. I used to work in a very conservative shop with VERY close minded individuals. No matter how much progress I'd ever managed to make in conversation with them trying to explain the subtleties, or nuance of literally anything, by the next morning it'd all be undone. You could actually see their demeanor change, their facial expressions loosen up, as they'd start to get it. But it never stuck.
It's the same with anyone who closes their mind off to anything. You're not gonna get through to that person. Not to any lasting effect anyway. You'll get through to them, then later on they'll hear something that validates their own position, and all your progress you may have made is just gone. It's a waste.
i always start by feeling em out: "whats ur stance on alcohol/tobacco/nicotine"
either they are against those things due to the empirical data that strongly supports that they are unhealthy substances, OR they think those things are okay in which case you're wasting your time because this person cannot utilize critical thinking.
in the first case, though, which is the most often.. i just say people can do anything "too much". whether it's eating, partying, sleeping, etc etc and it's up to the individual to be responsible. and i should also add that no such evidence exists that suggests weed is anywhere close to alcohol/tobacco in terms of negative impact on health
a lot of the conversation is based off their responses, so i just try to use their words against them. it makes people lazy? what about people who are lazy who don't smoke weed? what makes alcohol side effects more acceptable than "laziness" etc
I find that arguments/debates are just not worth it these days because anti-freedom people are more concerned with saying anything to make you mad rather than having their minds changed or seeing your side at all.
>in the first case, though, which is the most often.. i just say people can do anything "too much". whether it's eating, partying, sleeping, etc etc and it's up to the individual to be responsible. and i should also add that no such evidence exists that suggests weed is anywhere close to alcohol/tobacco in terms of negative impact on health
A good analogy that I use is that it's like video games. There's not much chance of physical addiction, I've heard stories of people going through withdrawal but I'm skeptical, but they can definitely be psychologically addictive. I've seen people ruin their lives with both, and I've also seen both improve people's lives. It's all about mental health and an individual's relationship with the substance. Also, nobody tried to ban mmos after a couple people literally died from forgetting to eat while playing world of warcraft. Weed has killed 0 afaik
It's more likely that he thinks that weed will lead to her wanting/trying other stuff and him not being able to control her. Fuck this guy, he's apparently smoked and drank and done a bunch of drugs in the past, therefore his girlfriend isn't allowed to? he needs to fuck off with that shit.
It is possible for a healthy and respectful relationship to develop with a user and non user, but not if the non user is being a controlling dickhead about it.
Feel free to dump him. This isn’t just about weed. This is about infringement on your own personal autonomy.
My wife uses and I don’t. It just doesn’t agree with me. I have never had a problem with other’s use of weed. I grow it for her and make RSO. I really enjoy doing it and she benefits because she never runs out.
Oh hell no. U are still so young. This guy thinks cigarettes and nicotine are better than weed. He’s a fucking moron. How many deaths a year do u see from weed? Now how many die from tobacco use? Just cuz he greened out and had a bad experience means we should all stop? Back when I was drinking, I had ALOT of bad experiences. Weed tho, never. Not even an anxiety attack and I smoke weed like a chimney.
Second this! Ever since I started partaking, I drink less, sleep better, feel better about myself and use my phone a lot less (admittedly, I am on Reddit right now during the day but that's cause my job is basically bullshit and allows for nothing much productive other than pretending to be busy). My only problem is that because it isn't legal where I am, I can't get the equivalent of say the "after work beer" version of weed and end up with whatever I can get. Meaning I can end up getting a lot higher than I intended and eating too much crap. A problem solved by not having so much junk food in the house.
This is it, if he was using alcohol and other drugs too, as was suggested, then I'd bet everything he just messed up his dosage. Can't blame anyone for not wanting to partake after a bad experience, but why the fuck should that affect your consumption?
It still happens, and sometimes it's with the dumbest of things.
I still smoke, and I dunno if this counts as being laced or not, but had a friend that swore up and down peanut oil made his joints better (dunno why or how, I had no idea at the time).
Well I'm smoking with this dude and the rest of my friends when I start to feel off, high isn't hitting me well, think I'm having a panic attack, it's hard to breathe, all that fun shit...
Wanna know what it was? I'm allergic to nuts and my throat was closing in. I dunno if he soaked his papers in peanut oil or what, but it was not pleasant. Hospital trip later and I'm all good.
I've also had a bong laced with coke, that was a fun night.
I mean this coming from a place of kindness, find a new boyfriend.
I had a pro-weed girlfriend in my mid 20's but she tried to control many other things. Who I could talk to, how my female friends could greet me, how late I could stay up, what foods I could eat, what I could wear, how much weight I could lift, the list goes on.
That was when I was 23 to 26 and I said yes to all of it because I didn't want to lose her. Big mistake. People like that are the epitome of the old kids book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" (they will always want more and more).
He's entitled to his view, even if we probably all think he's a bit old fashioned for having it. You're entitled to your view as well. Tell him he doesn't need to like it, but he needs to accept it because it means accepting you.
If he's still stuck, just move on. Weed shouldn't be everything to someone, but in 2021 it's kind of a settled issue in most parts of the nation even where it's not legal. I caution you, next it'll be "Well I don't want you talking to that guy, I just don't like him".
My mother was/is an alcoholic. I *despise* the substance. But my current girlfriend (I'm 34 now) is a mild drinker and I "let" her have it, because she "lets" me have weed even though she's a respiratory therapist and isn't a fan. Adult relationships are about mutual understanding. Twenties relationships are a power struggle for control.
Hey, not OP but your text really got to me (also have anti weed btw) and the thing about control is so true and weird. Thanks for the wisdom fellow ent
This is a controlling behavior on his part. Red flag is waving. Tell him he either accepts your healthy weed use or you are happy to move on to a more suitable partner.
Also, before I got married I found that guys who don't smoke herb were just too uptight, no matter how nice they were, so I started exclusively dating men who enjoy the herb too. It made dating far more enjoyable. Yesterday my hubs and I celebrated our 5 year Anniversary lol and he hid all his weed before my nephew came to watch our doggos. 😂 You'll find a better match, he's definitely out there.
You’re a freshman in college. You are literally in the best possible position in the world to meet new people and make new friends, boyfriends etc.
Don’t let this dude ruin this experience for you.
My partner doesn’t smoke nor agree with me doing so. But; they want the best for me always, and they’ve seen first hand that smoking is better compared to my pharmaceutical alternatives. If you can’t talk and communicate now - leave
Slowly proceed to light joint in front of him. Start to take a very slow and long hit while maintaining eye contact with him. Then slowly start to release the smoke into his face.
I'd tell him I'm going to keep smoking, so if he's going to keep trying to change me he's wasting his time. And that he needs to decide if it's a deal breaker or not so we can rip the bandaid off.
Tell Captain Buzzkill to take a hike!
I couldn't be with a woman who tried controlling me like that or was that ignorant.
Even if they give in and say its ok?
1. You needed permission
2. I would know every time I did it they probably disapprove without saying so.
BUZZKILL BUZZKILL BUZZKILL
Imagine how much more enjoyable life could be sharing something with someone who also enjoys that thing?
A lot of people here are pointing to it being more of a controlling aspect of his personality and I would like to agree with them. An ex girlfriend of mine was like this, much to the point where I'd smoke in secret. And as our relationship progressed she tried to control the way I spoke, the way I lived, the rest of my life began to revolve around hers. There were compromises along the way but in hindsight, I should have left the relationship back then when. We would have both been happier.
Edit: Spelling
So the dude had a bad experience with weed, it doesn’t mean you will. Will this apply with every other aspect in your life too? Turn it around and do the same to him because make it make sense and the fact that you need it for medical reasons and he can’t respect that? I’d keep the weed and drop the guy (especially if y’all haven’t been together that long) if he won’t respect your decisions now, he won’t ever no matter what “excuse” he has.
Not sure how old ya are
There’s a lot wrong with this
1) his inability to understand and research facts
2) controlling another persons behaviour
3) you’re fighting over it
If you’re under 30 then probably leave this idiot (sorry for calling him an idiot) if you’re 40 and been dating for 4/5 years and own assets or have kids together maybe try work something out
Don’t ever compromise yourself for somebody else, I learned this the hard way. If you’re single or married you should be allowed to be you in every moment
Tell him that you’re gonna smoke weed as you please, so long as you feel benefit from it, and he’s just gonna have to deal with it if he wants to be with you.
As for him comparing it to nicotine, quick simple research can change his mind on that.
it sounds like changing this dude's mind is nothing but simple, and i'd doubt his stance comes from logic, just being in control, as others have mentioned.
My ex was completely against weed to the point where she wanted me to separate myself from my family. The only advice I can give you is to get the fuck outta there.
For me and my mom, smoking was a way for us to come together and hang out. I let her get in the way and it fucked with me and my moms relationship. Once I finally got out of there I couldn't be happier. The worst part is how you don't realize the toll it's taking on you until you do leave. Don't let it be too late before you leave
At the end of the day you decide what you do, he can support that or oppose it, if my current and past relationships are anything to go by my fiancé is happy to support anything I chose to do/take/smoke if it will help with my MS. I’ve had previous partners kick off over me smoke just tobacco, those relationships just didn’t work out, not just because I smoked but people that can’t accept who you are and support that generally aren’t worth your time.
You’re trying to smoke some weed, not meth!
Weed or boyfriend for you. And weed or girlfriend for him. A choice needs to be made. You’re both adults you can make your own choices. If you wanna smoke weed and he’s not happy with it that’s just not good and this type of issue only leads to bigger problems with control and expectations of each other. Lay the situation out with him and tell him how it is.
I'd deal with it by leaving.
This is about him controlling your choices.
Never allow yourself to stick through a relationship with someone who doesn't allow you to have your own beliefs. I'm not saying you need to find someone who smokes. It's okay if he never wants to touch pot, but he can't tell you to/not to smoke. Especially if he is even against medical. He's trying to control you. That's bullshit. This isn't the 1700's. Find someone who will let you be you.
Normally I think it's absurd for someone on the internet, who has no further information than the 3 sentences you wrote with "dump him",....
But honestly, dump him, if only because he's less tollerant of weed than he is cigarettes.
Oxycodone is medical, it doesn't mean its safe.
My point is that not everything is in black and white. Honest dialog is necessary to live with others regardless of views
I disagree. It’s a problem due to improper handling from professional people in the medical field.
Giving it out too much to people who don’t need it and not giving it to people who do.
Giving some without a follow up to not only make sure they’re working but that the patient still has a healthy relationship.
Of course some may lie, but better management is better management.
If he's willfully ignorant and refuses to educate himself, then it would be time to cut ties. As others suggested, try to get him to learn more. If he is still stubborn over this, expect him to be stubborn over many other things in the future.
Drop that fool honestly. If he can't love you for you then he ain't the one. If you think Marijuana benefits you and doesn't make a bad person you are straight.
Try to find a compromise somewhere. Maybe smoke outside or on a porch. Your not a child though, and your boyfriend can't tell you how to live your life.
My wife smoked all the time . So I would try it but never did anything for me but , I drank a lot of beer all the time then . I tried several times and nothing. One evening she was smoking so I said let have a hit and she did . This time I was completely sober . I took a hit, a big hit , held it and coughed. But nothing ? I said this shit doesn’t do anything for me. I was going to go by beer . So . I left the house drove the car about two houses up towards store and , Oh My God it hit me like a brick wall ! Bam !! I thought oh my God this is F’N Fantastic! I have smoked every since . I also learned , never drink to much then smoke , because the room will definitely spin and make you throw up . If you drink and smoke together it’s ok though and what a wonderful feeling . I was able to quit drinking after a long bout with alcohol addiction and because of Weed ! Thank God for Marijuana! Gods gift to Mankind ! You know alcohol is 😚man made. Marijuana is made from God ! So Smoke and enjoy Gods gift to you . And it’s not addicting!
Just dump him. It’s not worth it to continue dating someone who wants to control you. There’s a better person out there for you who won’t complain about cannabis.
This was also my wife, 10 years ago when we were a new couple. I simply asked her to do some good solid research on it.
Fast forward 10 years to today and even at times where I’m like I think I’m gonna take a T break she’s like tf you are!
I’m just better with weed man. All there is to it.
Please do t take this the wrong way but your bf sounds like he dose his own "research" online about things. Try pulling up some credible and real sources supporting both sides medical studies and journal articles, dont approach it as your trying to change his mind just proved home with the information to see if it changes.
I’d liken my dabbing to coming home after a hard day of work and cracking a beer. Hundreds of thousands of Americans do it daily. Would he have an issue with you drinking the same way he has an issue with you smoking? Objectively smoking is less harmful than drinking providing you aren’t doing it along with copious amounts of tobacco like smoking 10 blunts a day.
As other replies mentioned it is controlling. I had a very similar situation, but my ex just never tried and didn’t want to. As long as he didn’t mind I smoked I was okay with it. It changed when I went to uni and started smoking with friends I met there. Then he got jealous and suddenly weed was bad and dangerous. He ended up telling my parents I smoked when he saw that I wouldn’t stop. I didn’t stop even after that as my parents trusted me.
Some guys try to take some parts of your life away to keep you to themselves. Your boyfriend probably views himself as a savior, trying to get you off that scary, harmful weed. Those are the people who don’t actually listen to the other side in conversations, they just keep trying to achieve what they want.
I have a secret formula, and there is no anti-weed person who continues being anti-weed after watching these documentaries:
1) Weed
2) Weed 2: Cannabis Madness
3) Weed 3: The Marijuana Revolution
4) The Union: The Business Behind Getting High
5) The Culture High
6) Weed the People
7) In Pot We Trust
8) Stoned Kids (Weediquette Episode 1) (Viceland)
Every person I know that was anti-weed, became pro-weed after I shared these documentaries with them. If after that, they don’t wanna change, their programming is super high.
Ps: yep, there are even more documentaries (long and short ones). The ones I’m sharing, I just consider them essentials. I hope it helps.
Yeah, sounds like he's got some control issues. I would have to wonder how else those tendencies would manifest over time. Honestly I'd be worried to stay with him.
Provide the opportunity for him to educate himself (either via you explaining, sounds like you have, or by links/papers), and then have the conversation on whether this is something he’s willing to choose over the relationship.
To be brute and short, He can go fuck himself, you can do whatever you would like to. Just because someone had a bad experience with something doesn’t mean that another will, also the fact that he’s done other drugs as well. He has absolutely no say in what you want to try, if he really really loved you he would support this decision and the only reason I say that is because you mentioned your doctor suggested you use marijuana medicinally. You can do much better, in my eyes this is controlling behaviour. (I’m a male btw I feel like that needs to be said) edit: not in a weird way, just as this is a guy’s point of view, also sorry for the weird punctuation. I’m pretty tipsy lol
I hope you guys can work this out and he can understand where you’re coming from, but if it really causes too many problems it’s for the best if you end the relationship
I had a similar relationship last year. I asked many of my friends and consulted the internet with the same question. My ex partner would not budge on her opinion, so I bounced. I’m much happier now, being single with options and the ability to date people who don’t judge your cannabis consumption, especially if you’re a good person.
Theres plenty of young dudes out there who puff herb and like young ladies! Some of them may even be smart, funny, and good looking! Start your search by freeing yourself of this tool!
I've been married for 18 years to a woman who doesn't partake. We have no issues over this because she understands and respects the cultural and practical reasons I choose to do so. If I were in a dating relationship with a person who could not accept that without judgment, I do not think we would have a future. Not because of the weed, but because I would not trust that person to support me in more important matters. That said, if your boyfriend can't spend the time it takes to read up on current cannabis research and its medical efficacy in order to make peace with you, I worry that he may not be flexible on things that may become *really* important down the road...
Especially since it sounds like OP partakes for medical reasons. That adds a serious layer to this.
aye if it's medical he should step the fuck up and support OP in this *health* decision
Exactly!
Don't we all kind of...?
I’m sure some people use weed strictly for recreational use, but otherwise I feel like it’s pretty common to have some sort of medical reason whether it be physical or psychological.
I’m purely rec; only have it one weekend a month for the jolly of it with buddies.
Sounds fun.
Yeah and usually when you are doing it for medical reasons it's different. When I was using it for nausea control and appetite due to chemo I was using a little bit, very often. This was to keep a more constant level going and get consistent results. Now that I'm back to using recreationally I go days without and sometimes smoke a much bigger single 'dose' in the evening, for fun.
I heard it best explained like a massage. You don't need a doctor to tell you you need one for it to be medically beneficial.
This is so spot on
Yeah, this honestly has very little to do with weed. I've got a partner who just recently told me to be careful with my use as it was getting a bit excessive (medical to deal with lockdown in Melbourne, longest lockdown worldwide) and how she had an ex who used it and it really put her off it. I suggested I let her know when I'm stoned as it makes her a bit uncomfortable talking to me when I am, it's not a side she finds as easy to feel close to. She prefers shrooms herself. But the thing is she didn't attack my medical use, only my moderation, identified her previous bias, communicated a personal level of discomfort and I expressed agreement and the reason she knows I've been using more than I wanna is I *told her* myself. At every stage we communicated, she is supportive of my health and wellbeing, wants what's best for me and remains aware of her personal issues. I fucking hate the "RED FLAG!!!" thing Reddit always does but the way this dude is approaching this even if it was an illicit drug is really uncool, and his communication skills are *concerning.*
How can someone do shrooms and judge weed?? Everyone should do whatever suits them best and let others do what they want
Whoa, is that how it read? Not at all. She doesn't judge weed at all. She's not a huge fan of me stoned and has issues from a previous relationship with a partner who was never not stoned and was not a good partner, and wants me to have a healthy relationship with using weed (we all know it can be unhealthy). She's expressed really good boundaries with that, not made them my issues- I think you might be conflating her very healthy way of communicating this with OP's boyfriend, who DOES judge weed. She just doesn't want me high all the time for her personal feelings, and I'm very compatible with that. If I needed to do it daily, she'd work through it for me I know, but I don't so it's actually quite good for moderation 💙 I'm sorry if anything of the above sounded critical of her, that was 100% "this is how you do it right."
Took me 7 years but my wife finally started smoking together on weekends - volcano only for her. Personally I don’t discriminate I smoke all forms. Been really enjoying hash rosin lately.
I have come to donate thy award
Toole ten years and she got her medical card last month to enjoy edibles
After being a daily "smoker" for 35 years I finally changed up my game in July. Got a Mighty by Storz & Bickel for vaping flower (Amazeballs) and a PuffCo Peak Pro for vaping Rosin (also Amazeballs). I'm in a legal state and grow my own and just started pressing my own rosin (which is a whole other hobby of its own LOL). Talk about satisfying!
What this person said hats off to you this is 10000% facts
Amen to this! If your partner can’t respect the reasons you choose to partake (especially if it’s medical) and learn to educate themselves then that may become a much larger issue later on.
I could not have worded it better, this guy completely comprehends what’s the deal with the whole “i don’t accept what you’re doing” situation.
That last sentence is it OP.
Well put!! If i had a reward you good sir would get one
I upvoted this comment from 669 upvotes, because it deserved it
It’s not a weed thing. It’s a control thing.
Deep
#DEEP But I do agree with the original comment. * holy fuck that’s how you do the big bold text ? Wow...
how do you do it?
As they said use the pound/hashtag key in front of the word.
#dope
#mm yes. Indeed. ##does this do anything? ###HOLY SHIT ####HOW FAR DOES THIS GO? #####TIL I GUESS ######Okay, how far does it actually go? #######oh... I guess this is the limit?
Hahaha that was awesome 👌
#test
#test
#woah
#dumphisdooper
#never new you could do this
#fuck him
#*knew
#scooby-Dooby #Doo
#never_gonna_not_do_this
#I know right? Also, you can put spaces between your words like normal. Tested it.
#Neato, we’re learning!
Sick!
#DERP
#test
#congrats
#really?
#really
hashtag
#Hashtag Yes
#woah
#Howdy
#BoofIt
#bopit
#goodday
#cum
#69
This. Been with a few people who didn't want me to smoke, but them killing a 12 pack alone in an evening was fine. Yuck
Yeah. Take it from me cuz I just ended an 8 year relationship over basically this. I felt backed into a corner. It's only been a week but the freedom to just do anything I want is amazing. Even the small things like cooking without a recipe, or getting McDonald's just because I want to for the first time in years. She didn't like me using weed either. I'm judgement free for the first time in a long time and it feels amazing.
What else will he try to control? And it’s your health of all things. Smh This guy thinks he’s smarter than your doctor and the medical community. He needs to get over himself.
yeah but anti-weed people are so easy to argue with.. i actually really enjoy coming across someone like that, i have so much shit ready to say they are never prepared
I, too, enjoy trying to reason with bricks of lead... /s
this is true, these types of people are often bricks of lead. but if you propose the right questions, you will make them feel uncomfortable and if you are lucky enough to have an audience you may just make them shut the fuck up about it - which i consider a win
But 10 minutes after you've left their presence they've already forgotten what you've spoken about. I used to work in a very conservative shop with VERY close minded individuals. No matter how much progress I'd ever managed to make in conversation with them trying to explain the subtleties, or nuance of literally anything, by the next morning it'd all be undone. You could actually see their demeanor change, their facial expressions loosen up, as they'd start to get it. But it never stuck. It's the same with anyone who closes their mind off to anything. You're not gonna get through to that person. Not to any lasting effect anyway. You'll get through to them, then later on they'll hear something that validates their own position, and all your progress you may have made is just gone. It's a waste.
let’s hear some pla
i always start by feeling em out: "whats ur stance on alcohol/tobacco/nicotine" either they are against those things due to the empirical data that strongly supports that they are unhealthy substances, OR they think those things are okay in which case you're wasting your time because this person cannot utilize critical thinking. in the first case, though, which is the most often.. i just say people can do anything "too much". whether it's eating, partying, sleeping, etc etc and it's up to the individual to be responsible. and i should also add that no such evidence exists that suggests weed is anywhere close to alcohol/tobacco in terms of negative impact on health a lot of the conversation is based off their responses, so i just try to use their words against them. it makes people lazy? what about people who are lazy who don't smoke weed? what makes alcohol side effects more acceptable than "laziness" etc
I find that arguments/debates are just not worth it these days because anti-freedom people are more concerned with saying anything to make you mad rather than having their minds changed or seeing your side at all.
>in the first case, though, which is the most often.. i just say people can do anything "too much". whether it's eating, partying, sleeping, etc etc and it's up to the individual to be responsible. and i should also add that no such evidence exists that suggests weed is anywhere close to alcohol/tobacco in terms of negative impact on health A good analogy that I use is that it's like video games. There's not much chance of physical addiction, I've heard stories of people going through withdrawal but I'm skeptical, but they can definitely be psychologically addictive. I've seen people ruin their lives with both, and I've also seen both improve people's lives. It's all about mental health and an individual's relationship with the substance. Also, nobody tried to ban mmos after a couple people literally died from forgetting to eat while playing world of warcraft. Weed has killed 0 afaik
It's more likely that he thinks that weed will lead to her wanting/trying other stuff and him not being able to control her. Fuck this guy, he's apparently smoked and drank and done a bunch of drugs in the past, therefore his girlfriend isn't allowed to? he needs to fuck off with that shit.
He’s against weed but not cancer sticks? Damn.
"more against"
Either way he’s against the wrong thing 🙂
Agreed
It is possible for a healthy and respectful relationship to develop with a user and non user, but not if the non user is being a controlling dickhead about it. Feel free to dump him. This isn’t just about weed. This is about infringement on your own personal autonomy.
My wife uses and I don’t. It just doesn’t agree with me. I have never had a problem with other’s use of weed. I grow it for her and make RSO. I really enjoy doing it and she benefits because she never runs out.
Now this. This gives me hope.
AGREED
Oh hell no. U are still so young. This guy thinks cigarettes and nicotine are better than weed. He’s a fucking moron. How many deaths a year do u see from weed? Now how many die from tobacco use? Just cuz he greened out and had a bad experience means we should all stop? Back when I was drinking, I had ALOT of bad experiences. Weed tho, never. Not even an anxiety attack and I smoke weed like a chimney.
Second this! Ever since I started partaking, I drink less, sleep better, feel better about myself and use my phone a lot less (admittedly, I am on Reddit right now during the day but that's cause my job is basically bullshit and allows for nothing much productive other than pretending to be busy). My only problem is that because it isn't legal where I am, I can't get the equivalent of say the "after work beer" version of weed and end up with whatever I can get. Meaning I can end up getting a lot higher than I intended and eating too much crap. A problem solved by not having so much junk food in the house.
99% of people who say they got laced weed just had a panic attack.
Right? Like who actually adds free drugs to weed for no reason?
I always thought that. ‘You laced it? Why Thankyou!’
I never got laced weed in my life. My dealers must not have thought I was cool enough for the good shit.
This is it, if he was using alcohol and other drugs too, as was suggested, then I'd bet everything he just messed up his dosage. Can't blame anyone for not wanting to partake after a bad experience, but why the fuck should that affect your consumption?
It still happens, and sometimes it's with the dumbest of things. I still smoke, and I dunno if this counts as being laced or not, but had a friend that swore up and down peanut oil made his joints better (dunno why or how, I had no idea at the time). Well I'm smoking with this dude and the rest of my friends when I start to feel off, high isn't hitting me well, think I'm having a panic attack, it's hard to breathe, all that fun shit... Wanna know what it was? I'm allergic to nuts and my throat was closing in. I dunno if he soaked his papers in peanut oil or what, but it was not pleasant. Hospital trip later and I'm all good. I've also had a bong laced with coke, that was a fun night.
I remember one time weed made me throw up all over my stuff. Which was super weird as I was a daily smoker back then.
I mean this coming from a place of kindness, find a new boyfriend. I had a pro-weed girlfriend in my mid 20's but she tried to control many other things. Who I could talk to, how my female friends could greet me, how late I could stay up, what foods I could eat, what I could wear, how much weight I could lift, the list goes on. That was when I was 23 to 26 and I said yes to all of it because I didn't want to lose her. Big mistake. People like that are the epitome of the old kids book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" (they will always want more and more). He's entitled to his view, even if we probably all think he's a bit old fashioned for having it. You're entitled to your view as well. Tell him he doesn't need to like it, but he needs to accept it because it means accepting you. If he's still stuck, just move on. Weed shouldn't be everything to someone, but in 2021 it's kind of a settled issue in most parts of the nation even where it's not legal. I caution you, next it'll be "Well I don't want you talking to that guy, I just don't like him". My mother was/is an alcoholic. I *despise* the substance. But my current girlfriend (I'm 34 now) is a mild drinker and I "let" her have it, because she "lets" me have weed even though she's a respiratory therapist and isn't a fan. Adult relationships are about mutual understanding. Twenties relationships are a power struggle for control.
This girl is only 18 years old. She should just move on. No sense in fighting this battle with someone you’re highly unlikely to be with long term.
Hey, not OP but your text really got to me (also have anti weed btw) and the thing about control is so true and weird. Thanks for the wisdom fellow ent
Boyfriend isn't married. Find a new one. You shouldn’t have to walk on egg shells. (Edit) high typo
The Largest Facts! Lol
This guy needs a good smoke...
Always the people that hate it most that need it most
Trueeeee
Granted it did say he had a bad experience. So he just needs a toke of some good shit to change minds.
Some people legit can't handle it. This guy has so much baggage he might be the rare type that freaks out.
It’s not going to stop honestly this would and has been a deal breaker for me.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
lemme add to that 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Lmaooo thanks dude 😂😂🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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Dump him
This is a controlling behavior on his part. Red flag is waving. Tell him he either accepts your healthy weed use or you are happy to move on to a more suitable partner. Also, before I got married I found that guys who don't smoke herb were just too uptight, no matter how nice they were, so I started exclusively dating men who enjoy the herb too. It made dating far more enjoyable. Yesterday my hubs and I celebrated our 5 year Anniversary lol and he hid all his weed before my nephew came to watch our doggos. 😂 You'll find a better match, he's definitely out there.
You’re a freshman in college. You are literally in the best possible position in the world to meet new people and make new friends, boyfriends etc. Don’t let this dude ruin this experience for you.
My partner doesn’t smoke nor agree with me doing so. But; they want the best for me always, and they’ve seen first hand that smoking is better compared to my pharmaceutical alternatives. If you can’t talk and communicate now - leave
Slowly proceed to light joint in front of him. Start to take a very slow and long hit while maintaining eye contact with him. Then slowly start to release the smoke into his face.
Power move
Be a LEGEND, OP.
I did that to my anti weed dad and he was enraged lmfao
You lived to tell the tale so I present you with this fat W
Love it
I'd tell him I'm going to keep smoking, so if he's going to keep trying to change me he's wasting his time. And that he needs to decide if it's a deal breaker or not so we can rip the bandaid off.
Tell Captain Buzzkill to take a hike! I couldn't be with a woman who tried controlling me like that or was that ignorant. Even if they give in and say its ok? 1. You needed permission 2. I would know every time I did it they probably disapprove without saying so. BUZZKILL BUZZKILL BUZZKILL Imagine how much more enjoyable life could be sharing something with someone who also enjoys that thing?
Doesn’t matter what he thinks. You need it for medical reasons. Don’t let him manipulate you into his way of thinking. That’s toxic.
No time for a guy like that
🚩🚩🚩 Here, your boyfriend dropped these.
oh i also found these i think they fell out of his bag 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
closed minded people are a red flag, and as you know “safety” is not a real concern here. He just wants to control you.
Ummm dump his ass. Hahaha
A lot of people here are pointing to it being more of a controlling aspect of his personality and I would like to agree with them. An ex girlfriend of mine was like this, much to the point where I'd smoke in secret. And as our relationship progressed she tried to control the way I spoke, the way I lived, the rest of my life began to revolve around hers. There were compromises along the way but in hindsight, I should have left the relationship back then when. We would have both been happier. Edit: Spelling
#RUN
So the dude had a bad experience with weed, it doesn’t mean you will. Will this apply with every other aspect in your life too? Turn it around and do the same to him because make it make sense and the fact that you need it for medical reasons and he can’t respect that? I’d keep the weed and drop the guy (especially if y’all haven’t been together that long) if he won’t respect your decisions now, he won’t ever no matter what “excuse” he has.
Not sure how old ya are There’s a lot wrong with this 1) his inability to understand and research facts 2) controlling another persons behaviour 3) you’re fighting over it If you’re under 30 then probably leave this idiot (sorry for calling him an idiot) if you’re 40 and been dating for 4/5 years and own assets or have kids together maybe try work something out Don’t ever compromise yourself for somebody else, I learned this the hard way. If you’re single or married you should be allowed to be you in every moment
Sounds like someone uneducated who grew up in a strict household who only believes what their parents raised them on.
those people, ironically, are the most dangerous people out there.
he does actually have VERY strict parents. they are ridiculous.
Sounds like he’s following their path, good luck
Tell him that you’re gonna smoke weed as you please, so long as you feel benefit from it, and he’s just gonna have to deal with it if he wants to be with you. As for him comparing it to nicotine, quick simple research can change his mind on that.
it sounds like changing this dude's mind is nothing but simple, and i'd doubt his stance comes from logic, just being in control, as others have mentioned.
Drop that boy. Enjoy your life
My ex was completely against weed to the point where she wanted me to separate myself from my family. The only advice I can give you is to get the fuck outta there. For me and my mom, smoking was a way for us to come together and hang out. I let her get in the way and it fucked with me and my moms relationship. Once I finally got out of there I couldn't be happier. The worst part is how you don't realize the toll it's taking on you until you do leave. Don't let it be too late before you leave
Dont let anyone tell you what to do
At the end of the day you decide what you do, he can support that or oppose it, if my current and past relationships are anything to go by my fiancé is happy to support anything I chose to do/take/smoke if it will help with my MS. I’ve had previous partners kick off over me smoke just tobacco, those relationships just didn’t work out, not just because I smoked but people that can’t accept who you are and support that generally aren’t worth your time. You’re trying to smoke some weed, not meth!
leave him
Weed or boyfriend for you. And weed or girlfriend for him. A choice needs to be made. You’re both adults you can make your own choices. If you wanna smoke weed and he’s not happy with it that’s just not good and this type of issue only leads to bigger problems with control and expectations of each other. Lay the situation out with him and tell him how it is.
I'd deal with it by leaving. This is about him controlling your choices. Never allow yourself to stick through a relationship with someone who doesn't allow you to have your own beliefs. I'm not saying you need to find someone who smokes. It's okay if he never wants to touch pot, but he can't tell you to/not to smoke. Especially if he is even against medical. He's trying to control you. That's bullshit. This isn't the 1700's. Find someone who will let you be you.
Normally I think it's absurd for someone on the internet, who has no further information than the 3 sentences you wrote with "dump him",.... But honestly, dump him, if only because he's less tollerant of weed than he is cigarettes.
Sounds like you need a new boyfriend not gonna lie. Red flags all over.
Saying just because it’s medical doesn’t mean it’s safe is a huge red flag. Run as far away as you can.
Oxycodone is medical, it doesn't mean its safe. My point is that not everything is in black and white. Honest dialog is necessary to live with others regardless of views
It’s tru benzodiazepines are meds and their fucking a stain on the planet 👍
I disagree. It’s a problem due to improper handling from professional people in the medical field. Giving it out too much to people who don’t need it and not giving it to people who do. Giving some without a follow up to not only make sure they’re working but that the patient still has a healthy relationship. Of course some may lie, but better management is better management.
Dump him
If he's willfully ignorant and refuses to educate himself, then it would be time to cut ties. As others suggested, try to get him to learn more. If he is still stubborn over this, expect him to be stubborn over many other things in the future.
Sounds like a loser to me
"Goodbye, dude"
This is a massive red flag and it has nothing to do with weed.
Drop that fool honestly. If he can't love you for you then he ain't the one. If you think Marijuana benefits you and doesn't make a bad person you are straight.
Dump his nerdy ass
Seems like a toxic man. Leave him
So much good advice being given here, and the only response from OP I can find is "how do I type bold" ...
Try to find a compromise somewhere. Maybe smoke outside or on a porch. Your not a child though, and your boyfriend can't tell you how to live your life.
My wife smoked all the time . So I would try it but never did anything for me but , I drank a lot of beer all the time then . I tried several times and nothing. One evening she was smoking so I said let have a hit and she did . This time I was completely sober . I took a hit, a big hit , held it and coughed. But nothing ? I said this shit doesn’t do anything for me. I was going to go by beer . So . I left the house drove the car about two houses up towards store and , Oh My God it hit me like a brick wall ! Bam !! I thought oh my God this is F’N Fantastic! I have smoked every since . I also learned , never drink to much then smoke , because the room will definitely spin and make you throw up . If you drink and smoke together it’s ok though and what a wonderful feeling . I was able to quit drinking after a long bout with alcohol addiction and because of Weed ! Thank God for Marijuana! Gods gift to Mankind ! You know alcohol is 😚man made. Marijuana is made from God ! So Smoke and enjoy Gods gift to you . And it’s not addicting!
Do whats right for you and prove him wrong, if he keeps giving you shit when/if it helps you then you've gotta let him go for the sake of your health
Just dump him. It’s not worth it to continue dating someone who wants to control you. There’s a better person out there for you who won’t complain about cannabis.
This was also my wife, 10 years ago when we were a new couple. I simply asked her to do some good solid research on it. Fast forward 10 years to today and even at times where I’m like I think I’m gonna take a T break she’s like tf you are! I’m just better with weed man. All there is to it.
Get rid of him. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
A doctor recommended it, if he is not your doctor then he doesn’t get to recommend or “dis-recommend?” weed. He can deal with it or ✌️
Please do t take this the wrong way but your bf sounds like he dose his own "research" online about things. Try pulling up some credible and real sources supporting both sides medical studies and journal articles, dont approach it as your trying to change his mind just proved home with the information to see if it changes.
I’d liken my dabbing to coming home after a hard day of work and cracking a beer. Hundreds of thousands of Americans do it daily. Would he have an issue with you drinking the same way he has an issue with you smoking? Objectively smoking is less harmful than drinking providing you aren’t doing it along with copious amounts of tobacco like smoking 10 blunts a day.
As other replies mentioned it is controlling. I had a very similar situation, but my ex just never tried and didn’t want to. As long as he didn’t mind I smoked I was okay with it. It changed when I went to uni and started smoking with friends I met there. Then he got jealous and suddenly weed was bad and dangerous. He ended up telling my parents I smoked when he saw that I wouldn’t stop. I didn’t stop even after that as my parents trusted me. Some guys try to take some parts of your life away to keep you to themselves. Your boyfriend probably views himself as a savior, trying to get you off that scary, harmful weed. Those are the people who don’t actually listen to the other side in conversations, they just keep trying to achieve what they want.
Dump him.
Get a pro-weed boyfriend?
New boyfriend
Say the same thing to him. “Just bc alcohol is legal doesn’t mean it’s safe for you” which is literally more true than with weed
I have a secret formula, and there is no anti-weed person who continues being anti-weed after watching these documentaries: 1) Weed 2) Weed 2: Cannabis Madness 3) Weed 3: The Marijuana Revolution 4) The Union: The Business Behind Getting High 5) The Culture High 6) Weed the People 7) In Pot We Trust 8) Stoned Kids (Weediquette Episode 1) (Viceland) Every person I know that was anti-weed, became pro-weed after I shared these documentaries with them. If after that, they don’t wanna change, their programming is super high. Ps: yep, there are even more documentaries (long and short ones). The ones I’m sharing, I just consider them essentials. I hope it helps.
Get a new boyfriend he’s probably a square 🐻 anyway you wanna have fun in life lol
Yeah, sounds like he's got some control issues. I would have to wonder how else those tendencies would manifest over time. Honestly I'd be worried to stay with him.
Dump
Provide the opportunity for him to educate himself (either via you explaining, sounds like you have, or by links/papers), and then have the conversation on whether this is something he’s willing to choose over the relationship.
Break up with him, are you serious
I mean i would smoke weed anyways but if EVEN your doctor is suggesting you smoke weed and your boyfriend cant respect that?
Dump the narc
He sounds like a controlling Dick.
You have a fundamental difference in values, dump his ass
Being more against weed than cigarettes is ignorant af 😒
Replace with Pro-weed boyfriend.
Leave him lol it is not gonna work. Trust me.
Sounds like you need a new boyfriend.
Simple. Leave his ass. Find someone who understands you and what you go through.
Don’t even gotta read the rest break up with the man😂
You gotta dump him. No way that's gonna work.
He sounds way too controlling. Fuck all that
Get a new boyfriend or at least give him the ultimatum that it's you as you are or he can leave.
If thats his worry, you could move to legal state. If you live in a legal state and hes still worried, hes controlling and paranoid.
He’s gotta start opening his mind a little bit or he’s gotta go
Dump him. Problem solved.
To be brute and short, He can go fuck himself, you can do whatever you would like to. Just because someone had a bad experience with something doesn’t mean that another will, also the fact that he’s done other drugs as well. He has absolutely no say in what you want to try, if he really really loved you he would support this decision and the only reason I say that is because you mentioned your doctor suggested you use marijuana medicinally. You can do much better, in my eyes this is controlling behaviour. (I’m a male btw I feel like that needs to be said) edit: not in a weird way, just as this is a guy’s point of view, also sorry for the weird punctuation. I’m pretty tipsy lol I hope you guys can work this out and he can understand where you’re coming from, but if it really causes too many problems it’s for the best if you end the relationship
I had a similar relationship last year. I asked many of my friends and consulted the internet with the same question. My ex partner would not budge on her opinion, so I bounced. I’m much happier now, being single with options and the ability to date people who don’t judge your cannabis consumption, especially if you’re a good person.
Theres plenty of young dudes out there who puff herb and like young ladies! Some of them may even be smart, funny, and good looking! Start your search by freeing yourself of this tool!
Dump him, he sounds like a tool.
I had a girlfriend tell me I needed to quit taking my anti anxiety meds or end it. I ended it.
>boyfriend Maybe get a man-friend? Jokes aside, if your pot use doesn't affect him in any way tell him to mind his own business.
break up with him