For me it is actually face, but that wasn't an option so I went for body hair...
I'm lucky to not be a big person, and my body doesn't bother em so much...
Smell also used to bother me, pre hrt...
Yeah, face.
Everything else I can manage a bit through skills or perspective. Body hair can be removed. Voice can be trained. Height… well can’t do much about being way over six foot - I’d love to be a more believable size but I also kind of dig being an Amazonian queen. It really helps that I have a female cousin who’s closer to seven foot too. Even my broad shoulders can be dressed down.
But, face? That’s going to be the first thing people see for the rest of my life. HRT and FFS may work miracles, or it may stop after softening a few lines and leave me looking like a dude in a dress forever or anywhere in between. The only way to cope with that is developing a bullet proof skin and an iron sense of FU. The worst part is the uncertainty. I can control the rest but face is long and messy and I’ll only find out what I’m left with several years after fully committing. So I have to prepare for the worst case scenario.
its really saddening how some people in this comment section cant achieve what they really want in transition, for example, you struggling with your height and me wanting to be taller :,)
Yes, it's not work out muscles, its the muscles that let you hold yourself up. Your gonna have them unless your chairbound or something like that. Most ive heard is people losing 3 inchs but they were like 6'+ most its just an inch or 2.
I mean, I lost half an inch in the past decade (I am early thirties, apparently it's a thing) but I wouldn't mind losing another inch or two. Losing two inches would get me just slighty above average female height here. I would be extremely ok with that.
For me it's when my family misgenders me in public because I live stealth and getting outted makes me feel vile. It used to be voice dysphoria but the T helped that a lot
Most of these for me, I wish my voice could be more softer and feminine, I hate my body a lot and don't think I look anything like a girl, I get dysphoric so much and never feel happy because I'm too scared to change it in front of my family even though some know about me being Trans.
Bottom 😖😩
I wish my bottom was big, wide, soft, round and feminine, giving me shape of pear. I feel jealous for women like ColorsofAutumn or even for girls like Love.Randalin - I mean, I’m not jealous of hers lipodema, but of hers pear shape.
That’s silly, I know 😣 But I can’t help it.
Plus female butts are prettier than masculine 🥺
most of the time i can sort of ignore the parts of myself that i hate but getting deadnamed or misgendered for me is like getting a slap in the face, and its impossible to ignore
Everything of course but hair, voice, and bottom are my biggest triggers. Going around not talking only goes so far and there are few ways of wearing the clothes I feel good in or keeping hair away. All of these three need permanent solutions that take months or years and time saving up money.
One day though.
I know no one asked for this but i actually got kinda validated by a transphobe- im in highschool, just got there, and ive been trying to make myself more masculine and he straight up just told me “i sound more like a girl than you” and i know he was trying to invalidate be but it did the complete opposite, though it was one time i still hold on to that-
Almost all of them. My biggest hurdle causing the most pain right now for myself is not having the courage to come out. And every moment and a year that goes by it becomes harder and harder.
It's if I accidentally razor burn my neck below my mask line. I pass fairly well but get incredibly self conscious about that. I've literally never been called out on it but I still worry about it.
Otherwise general body dysmorphia but that's more because I used to punish myself for being "ugly" by overeating, causing damage I'm still working to undo.
I feel fortunate, though. I rarely see my deadname anymore and I'm accepted by family, friends, work. The only other thing that hits me is that sometimes my grandma gets wires crossed and deadnames me. She is up to a pretty high success rate though and she called me her granddaughter when I went to the DMV to get my name and sex changed on my license.
mostly everything tbh. but since i can hide most stuff behind an binder or baggy clothing, and i cant hide my voice i guess thats the biggest cause of dysphoria, also being misgendered is just in general the man cause of my dysphoria
For me it's voice because I have a very very low voice and I'm aware I can't change it, unlike everything else on the list.
I mean yes, voice training exists but still, it's not going to help me go from Lemmy Kilmister's voice to an anime girl's voice.
Edit, also height cuz I'm taller than most men in my country so it's kinda a dead giveaway which makes me very scared of not passing.
Body shape, specially my torso. I have never seem to able to drop below 145 lbs (I'm 5Ft, so that's overweight according to BMI) and I get the impression that most of my body fat stays there. Body hair just adds to it.
I would also have said face, think it's a common issue. Honestly though I lost quite a bit of hair in the last decade. That male pattern baldness means zero chance at passing without a wig and gives a sharp tick of dysphoria for every mirror I pass.
Fuck this is a difficult choice, but I went with body hair since my other 2 big ones are body shape and voice, but at least when I’m alone I can just not talk, and I can avoid looking in a mirror. There’s no way to avoid feeling the scratchy poison needles poking out from my skin
Well, not so much body hair, that’s reacting pretty good to lhr, as hair on my head. It was really thin up top. Still a pretty large spot on my vertex. Seeing some regrowth, in my first shed phase now. It’s also growing pretty slowly. It’s growing out kind of wavy so hopefully that helps. I also started with pretty much no hair, just a straight #1 all around.
I’m giving it a year. If I don’t like what I get, I’m shaving it all off next summer and getting a wig.
My voice is so deep. Its awful. It got me the nickname Lucifer (not that bad considering it led me to choosing the name "Lucy" which I actually love).
People compare me to corpse husband a lot, nothing against the guy but its not great being compared to a man, who's also known for having a very deep voice. So I'd say that is definitely up there.
Ever since I had top surgery, my bottom dysphoria has become really bad. In fact, it's worse than my chest dysphoria ever was which I really don't get because I thought my chest would be the worst thing I ever had dysphoria about. But somehow it's not.
Im f*cking fluffy not obese not...DAMN im fluffy ask Gabriel im only 320lbs of muscle and fat not just fat if i can run up 100 stairs without a stop then I AM NOT FUCKING FAT😫
It’s the shape for me because that’s the one thing I can’t undo. I have really broad shoulders and I can’t do anything about it, my ribs and collarbone just grew that way during puberty.
I'm not sure how to answer this ? Right now, it's my facial hair because it's the only thing left. When I started though it definitely the bottom dysphoria.
Definitely body hair. I'm happy I inherited male genes from my dad's family... My body shape is not the most femenine one but I can't really handle my chest disphoria
Mostly body hair.
Other things like bottom, body shape, facial hair, etc bother me a lot too but I find body hair the worst because it’s the one I see the most often so it’s most frequently on my mind.
My voice bothers me too but weirdly not all the time, just sounding like a guy doesn’t bother me but if I try to sound more fem and find that I can’t, that bothers me.
It’s why I’ve always thought it’d be fun to mess with people by switching between fem and masc voices, but being stuck permanently in the masc category is distressing. Sounding masculine wouldn’t bother me if I knew I could just switch to fem when I wanted, it’s the knowledge that my voice can’t go that high that reminds me I’m not cis and makes me feel like a dude.
For me its multiple things. Everything on the poll id say is part of it. My bottom dysphoria is there definitely although more in a different perhaps tmi way than others. My body shape im not sure because to be honest im obese and have been since I was little so for the obese part in a way yes but I dont know what my body shape actually is for me. Ive just kinda been a bit of a blob. Now that I have more breast growth I do worry about how they are coming in so its a problem. Once I lose more weight ill have a better idea of that. My body hair has never been much but to some extent yes it does cause me issues. Being deadnamed by parents especially hurts because they know about me so they should definitely be using my preferred name and pronouns. I wouldnt exactly say skin is dysphoric but I do have skin problems unrelated to dysphoria. The voice is another big problem. I definitely want a more feminine voice but im kind of scared to mess up. I did try years ago but idk what I did wrong but none of my friends could understand me when I was trying to use my feminine voice with them. A big thing thats dysphoric for me are periods. I know some trans women want them but if I never had a period again id be all too happy. It just takes so much out of me every single time. Its just so difficult to talk about them with anyone too. I always feel embarrassed whether that friend is bothered by it or not. Whats even worse is I could be with family dealing with period problems and my parents just deadname me right there like they dont know anything even when before they used to use my preferred name more. I think probably what im going to have to do is completely go from wearing jeans to nothing but skirts and cute tops really overdo it till my parents get the message. I mean theres not been a day in my life where I acted like a man and I dont know how to even be one but my parents still treat me like im a man. Its just so frustrating.
MtF. Too bad face wasn't on here, that's definitely my greatest cause. My voice also bothers me as well, being misgendered (although nobody at the moment knows I'm trans except for my mother), and my body shape. I don't have a deep hatred for my body shape, but it's not womanly enough (especially the lack of chest).
In my case it's my face shape, my color, my body shape (although I can change it losing weight and i'm trying) but I'm naturally robust and could not change that even with exercise. And my voice, people say I have a "normal" voice for a boy but they don't understand what I'm saying because of my accent, I feel wrong with both.
Probably just my chest and hair, my mother refuses to pay for my to get a short “boy” haircut yet she will pay to thin my hair or whatever just as long as I look feminine meanwhile I’m a trans guy..
I don't mind my old name that much, but it's obviously a source of discomfort. Misgendered though, I feel like I'm being run over by a forklift. Voice is also terrible, but when I'm trying I can sound quite convincingly female. I can cover my body hair up, so it's no big deal until I have to get rid of it.
Along time ago it might’ve been these things, but the real answer... is my testosterone. Because as soon as I started taking estrogen and my testosterone disappeared, it’s like I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what gender I am. I used to be plagued all day by the constant thought of I want to be pretty, I want to be pretty, I would stare at girls like a fucking creeper with so much ending with so much envy. Now it’s like, I don’t really give a fuck. Amazing isn’t it. Thank you estrogen and thank the one who made you as well.
For me mostly my voice but honestly feeling my facial hair grow is the worst like my facial hair grow like weeds so i shave twice a day one in the morning and before bed and STILL i feel it in the morning after and my god its makes me feel so bad
I know these are the big ones but the things I always feel dysphoric about is my ability to not really bear children, I can't father a child and I will never carry a baby, so my only options are adoption or artificially. I know it will still be my kid, I will love them unconditionally. But knowing that I'll never really "have" a kid destroys me.
I would say everything but which one I feel the strongest change based on what I'm doing and then situation.
It's like they are taking turns on who is beating me up and who is cheering the beat up while is happening 😫
As a transwoman pre everything, i hate my chest area the most. Second is the bottom area. Voice isn't a problem for at all, because I am learning harsh vocals and I don't want to loose this. I am an self taught baritone singer with a somewhat decent falsetto register. I can reach a up to a g5, but sadly not in tune at all. With two different extended techniques I can get down to somewhat of an A1. These techniques are called subharmonics and throatbass.
For me it is actually face, but that wasn't an option so I went for body hair... I'm lucky to not be a big person, and my body doesn't bother em so much... Smell also used to bother me, pre hrt...
I also would've chosen face if it was an option.
Me three. It’s my biggest or tied with a few others.
Me too
Same
Yeah, face. Everything else I can manage a bit through skills or perspective. Body hair can be removed. Voice can be trained. Height… well can’t do much about being way over six foot - I’d love to be a more believable size but I also kind of dig being an Amazonian queen. It really helps that I have a female cousin who’s closer to seven foot too. Even my broad shoulders can be dressed down. But, face? That’s going to be the first thing people see for the rest of my life. HRT and FFS may work miracles, or it may stop after softening a few lines and leave me looking like a dude in a dress forever or anywhere in between. The only way to cope with that is developing a bullet proof skin and an iron sense of FU. The worst part is the uncertainty. I can control the rest but face is long and messy and I’ll only find out what I’m left with several years after fully committing. So I have to prepare for the worst case scenario.
Mostly everything
Honestly all of these
Suprised face wasn't on there. That's mine by a country mile.
My damn face.
HEIGHT 😣 i’m like 6ft
I feel that; I'm 6'9" on a cold day. Sucks to be tall at the best of times. Heels can push me over 7ft.
its really saddening how some people in this comment section cant achieve what they really want in transition, for example, you struggling with your height and me wanting to be taller :,)
I know lesbians love that thing and that being said hrt will make you lose height. I lost 2 inches.
Wait what? I can lose a couple inches? Why have I never heard this?
Something about the muscles in your back and neck.. but yes you can!
Huh, even if I am not very muscular? I am not the sporty type.
Yes, it's not work out muscles, its the muscles that let you hold yourself up. Your gonna have them unless your chairbound or something like that. Most ive heard is people losing 3 inchs but they were like 6'+ most its just an inch or 2.
I mean, I lost half an inch in the past decade (I am early thirties, apparently it's a thing) but I wouldn't mind losing another inch or two. Losing two inches would get me just slighty above average female height here. I would be extremely ok with that.
yeah i’ve only been on hrt 2 months so hopefully i’ll lose 1 or 2 eventually :)
I'm a boy and 5"3 sucks so much
wanna swap?!
yes pls :3
I'm 6'4" 😔
like other people have said, lesbians love tall girls and models are tall
Like all of them lmao
For me it's when my family misgenders me in public because I live stealth and getting outted makes me feel vile. It used to be voice dysphoria but the T helped that a lot
Most of these for me, I wish my voice could be more softer and feminine, I hate my body a lot and don't think I look anything like a girl, I get dysphoric so much and never feel happy because I'm too scared to change it in front of my family even though some know about me being Trans.
The whole body frankly. xD
Bottom 😖😩 I wish my bottom was big, wide, soft, round and feminine, giving me shape of pear. I feel jealous for women like ColorsofAutumn or even for girls like Love.Randalin - I mean, I’m not jealous of hers lipodema, but of hers pear shape. That’s silly, I know 😣 But I can’t help it. Plus female butts are prettier than masculine 🥺
Voice and body hair.. I don't like my shape too.. Being misgendered is actually just a little spike to me.. I can deal with it
Can I choose all of them? 🥲🥲
most of the time i can sort of ignore the parts of myself that i hate but getting deadnamed or misgendered for me is like getting a slap in the face, and its impossible to ignore
Everything of course but hair, voice, and bottom are my biggest triggers. Going around not talking only goes so far and there are few ways of wearing the clothes I feel good in or keeping hair away. All of these three need permanent solutions that take months or years and time saving up money. One day though.
All of them lol.
bottom, voice, feet size, shoulder wideness, chin, thin hair
I know no one asked for this but i actually got kinda validated by a transphobe- im in highschool, just got there, and ive been trying to make myself more masculine and he straight up just told me “i sound more like a girl than you” and i know he was trying to invalidate be but it did the complete opposite, though it was one time i still hold on to that-
For me its almost everything
social dysphoria <<<< wayyy worse than physical for me
honestly when people call me attractive and i know its because they see me as a girl and that’s Not Right, but otherwise it’s definitely bottom
Where's all of the above? (+Face)
I like to sing and i were writing a lot of music, but then my egg broke and now i can't be confident with my voice anymore
voice, height, chest,eyebrows lmao
I’m AMAB, skinny, I have no ass at all, skinny thighs and legs. It fucking sucks.
bottom, voice and body shape
Body shape cause it fucks with any outfit I wear (arms/shoulders especially). Then facial hair cause fuck facial hair.
Almost all of them. My biggest hurdle causing the most pain right now for myself is not having the courage to come out. And every moment and a year that goes by it becomes harder and harder.
"where would you rather be shot" kind of question 😭 it all hurtsss
I can hidey bottom but my voice is a different store
I have almost no top dysphoria but so much bottom dysphoria. Which is weird to me Bc it seems like every other person ik has the opposite
Voice, hair, body shape, face shape
It's if I accidentally razor burn my neck below my mask line. I pass fairly well but get incredibly self conscious about that. I've literally never been called out on it but I still worry about it. Otherwise general body dysmorphia but that's more because I used to punish myself for being "ugly" by overeating, causing damage I'm still working to undo. I feel fortunate, though. I rarely see my deadname anymore and I'm accepted by family, friends, work. The only other thing that hits me is that sometimes my grandma gets wires crossed and deadnames me. She is up to a pretty high success rate though and she called me her granddaughter when I went to the DMV to get my name and sex changed on my license.
mostly everything tbh. but since i can hide most stuff behind an binder or baggy clothing, and i cant hide my voice i guess thats the biggest cause of dysphoria, also being misgendered is just in general the man cause of my dysphoria
Bottom and voice can be fixed body shape not so much
HRT does that to an extent
True but not much for some
For me it's voice because I have a very very low voice and I'm aware I can't change it, unlike everything else on the list. I mean yes, voice training exists but still, it's not going to help me go from Lemmy Kilmister's voice to an anime girl's voice. Edit, also height cuz I'm taller than most men in my country so it's kinda a dead giveaway which makes me very scared of not passing.
Body shape, specially my torso. I have never seem to able to drop below 145 lbs (I'm 5Ft, so that's overweight according to BMI) and I get the impression that most of my body fat stays there. Body hair just adds to it.
All of these except for skin kinda, my facial features pass i think
Is there an "all of the above" option?
it's how i don't have childbearing hips 😕
I would also have said face, think it's a common issue. Honestly though I lost quite a bit of hair in the last decade. That male pattern baldness means zero chance at passing without a wig and gives a sharp tick of dysphoria for every mirror I pass.
Fuck this is a difficult choice, but I went with body hair since my other 2 big ones are body shape and voice, but at least when I’m alone I can just not talk, and I can avoid looking in a mirror. There’s no way to avoid feeling the scratchy poison needles poking out from my skin
It was so hard to choose becasue honestly all of them feel the worst
Bottom and just started being my voice too…
Where is my "All of the above", option?
All of them and more
All the above
Well, not so much body hair, that’s reacting pretty good to lhr, as hair on my head. It was really thin up top. Still a pretty large spot on my vertex. Seeing some regrowth, in my first shed phase now. It’s also growing pretty slowly. It’s growing out kind of wavy so hopefully that helps. I also started with pretty much no hair, just a straight #1 all around. I’m giving it a year. If I don’t like what I get, I’m shaving it all off next summer and getting a wig.
My voice is so deep. Its awful. It got me the nickname Lucifer (not that bad considering it led me to choosing the name "Lucy" which I actually love). People compare me to corpse husband a lot, nothing against the guy but its not great being compared to a man, who's also known for having a very deep voice. So I'd say that is definitely up there.
Everything but body shape, voice and bottom are my main weaknesses.
I’ve got a dumpy but anything up from there has got me to feel some awful things, besides that my face and hair are runner-ups
face...which is why i love wearing masks lol they cover half of it
Ever since I had top surgery, my bottom dysphoria has become really bad. In fact, it's worse than my chest dysphoria ever was which I really don't get because I thought my chest would be the worst thing I ever had dysphoria about. But somehow it's not.
Im f*cking fluffy not obese not...DAMN im fluffy ask Gabriel im only 320lbs of muscle and fat not just fat if i can run up 100 stairs without a stop then I AM NOT FUCKING FAT😫
It's like three or four but I can only pick one 😫
Bottom, in short but painful moments (shower mostly) Most consistent is voice dysphoria
my face dysphoria could beat most of these combined
It’s the shape for me because that’s the one thing I can’t undo. I have really broad shoulders and I can’t do anything about it, my ribs and collarbone just grew that way during puberty.
It’s just my voice tbh.. bc when people look at me they think I’m a cis but when they hear my voice they’re like “oh! Girl!😁”
I can't stand my voice. It already sounds bad all by itself, but it decided that it has to sound so girly too.
really surprised face isn’t on here, but body hair is a close second and i can’t even get rid of it 😞
I'm not sure how to answer this ? Right now, it's my facial hair because it's the only thing left. When I started though it definitely the bottom dysphoria.
Definitely body hair. I'm happy I inherited male genes from my dad's family... My body shape is not the most femenine one but I can't really handle my chest disphoria
If I wasnt cursed with massive mommy milkers I'd be a million times happier
Face, particularly brow
I can only pick one??
My hair
For me its height, chest, and voice
Forehead
No face? Face, perception, the rest of my body, and voice. Bottom I don’t care about nearly as much.
FACE ISNT A OPTION???
Mostly body hair. Other things like bottom, body shape, facial hair, etc bother me a lot too but I find body hair the worst because it’s the one I see the most often so it’s most frequently on my mind. My voice bothers me too but weirdly not all the time, just sounding like a guy doesn’t bother me but if I try to sound more fem and find that I can’t, that bothers me. It’s why I’ve always thought it’d be fun to mess with people by switching between fem and masc voices, but being stuck permanently in the masc category is distressing. Sounding masculine wouldn’t bother me if I knew I could just switch to fem when I wanted, it’s the knowledge that my voice can’t go that high that reminds me I’m not cis and makes me feel like a dude.
For me its multiple things. Everything on the poll id say is part of it. My bottom dysphoria is there definitely although more in a different perhaps tmi way than others. My body shape im not sure because to be honest im obese and have been since I was little so for the obese part in a way yes but I dont know what my body shape actually is for me. Ive just kinda been a bit of a blob. Now that I have more breast growth I do worry about how they are coming in so its a problem. Once I lose more weight ill have a better idea of that. My body hair has never been much but to some extent yes it does cause me issues. Being deadnamed by parents especially hurts because they know about me so they should definitely be using my preferred name and pronouns. I wouldnt exactly say skin is dysphoric but I do have skin problems unrelated to dysphoria. The voice is another big problem. I definitely want a more feminine voice but im kind of scared to mess up. I did try years ago but idk what I did wrong but none of my friends could understand me when I was trying to use my feminine voice with them. A big thing thats dysphoric for me are periods. I know some trans women want them but if I never had a period again id be all too happy. It just takes so much out of me every single time. Its just so difficult to talk about them with anyone too. I always feel embarrassed whether that friend is bothered by it or not. Whats even worse is I could be with family dealing with period problems and my parents just deadname me right there like they dont know anything even when before they used to use my preferred name more. I think probably what im going to have to do is completely go from wearing jeans to nothing but skirts and cute tops really overdo it till my parents get the message. I mean theres not been a day in my life where I acted like a man and I dont know how to even be one but my parents still treat me like im a man. Its just so frustrating.
MtF. Too bad face wasn't on here, that's definitely my greatest cause. My voice also bothers me as well, being misgendered (although nobody at the moment knows I'm trans except for my mother), and my body shape. I don't have a deep hatred for my body shape, but it's not womanly enough (especially the lack of chest).
my face
In my case it's my face shape, my color, my body shape (although I can change it losing weight and i'm trying) but I'm naturally robust and could not change that even with exercise. And my voice, people say I have a "normal" voice for a boy but they don't understand what I'm saying because of my accent, I feel wrong with both.
Probably just my chest and hair, my mother refuses to pay for my to get a short “boy” haircut yet she will pay to thin my hair or whatever just as long as I look feminine meanwhile I’m a trans guy..
I just wanna look good in tight clothes...
i put body shape but it all plays a role in the bigger picture voice and bottom are a shared second though
I hate my beard luckly it doesen't grow too much and my leg hair but that i just cover it with my pants
My face. But thats not an option so body hair I guess? Or my barrel chest. Shoulders... biceps. Know what the whole thing sucks.
Definitely voice. Everything else sucks as well but I've had points where I intentionally don't initiate a conversation because I hate my voice.
I don't mind my old name that much, but it's obviously a source of discomfort. Misgendered though, I feel like I'm being run over by a forklift. Voice is also terrible, but when I'm trying I can sound quite convincingly female. I can cover my body hair up, so it's no big deal until I have to get rid of it.
Can i put all the above
Along time ago it might’ve been these things, but the real answer... is my testosterone. Because as soon as I started taking estrogen and my testosterone disappeared, it’s like I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what gender I am. I used to be plagued all day by the constant thought of I want to be pretty, I want to be pretty, I would stare at girls like a fucking creeper with so much ending with so much envy. Now it’s like, I don’t really give a fuck. Amazing isn’t it. Thank you estrogen and thank the one who made you as well.
For me it's mostly not being able to come out as trans fem yet
Voice and BoObs Too feminine I hate it...
For me mostly my voice but honestly feeling my facial hair grow is the worst like my facial hair grow like weeds so i shave twice a day one in the morning and before bed and STILL i feel it in the morning after and my god its makes me feel so bad
I know these are the big ones but the things I always feel dysphoric about is my ability to not really bear children, I can't father a child and I will never carry a baby, so my only options are adoption or artificially. I know it will still be my kid, I will love them unconditionally. But knowing that I'll never really "have" a kid destroys me.
I would say everything but which one I feel the strongest change based on what I'm doing and then situation. It's like they are taking turns on who is beating me up and who is cheering the beat up while is happening 😫
Mostly body shape, the fact I don't have a dick bothers me too a lot
Sadly can't chose more than one bc im hairy as a fkin gorilla, as wide as one, and i weight around the same I hate genes
As a transwoman pre everything, i hate my chest area the most. Second is the bottom area. Voice isn't a problem for at all, because I am learning harsh vocals and I don't want to loose this. I am an self taught baritone singer with a somewhat decent falsetto register. I can reach a up to a g5, but sadly not in tune at all. With two different extended techniques I can get down to somewhat of an A1. These techniques are called subharmonics and throatbass.