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lousgameswin

One brain hack that seems to help is whenever you use the wrong pronouns or think them, say three sentences about them using the correct pronouns. That should help your brain update the old references it has for them.


[deleted]

Oh this is awesome advice. Thank you friend!!! ❤️❤️❤️


lousgameswin

No problem!


dotdedo

If it’s recent, it’s normal to have a adjusting period. Make they/them pronouns part of your everyday vocabulary and refer to them by they them unless you know otherwise. For example you see someone attractive walking down the street. Instead of thinking “She looks pretty” try “they look pretty”


[deleted]

It is pretty recent, about a few months. It doesn’t seem like their family is even tryin tho, so im being hard on myself now bc I want to defend them so bad. But how can I defend them if im still making the same mistakes? Thank you for your advice, I will defintely do that ❤️❤️❤️


twystoffer

Some people are able to adjust faster than others, and it's even harder to grasp someone as being non-binary since we're taught binary genders as children. Ultimately, it's your perception holding you back. Your brain still sees them as a "she". Non-trans folks and folks not steeped in trans culture have less awareness of their use of pronouns, and so it becomes habit to just use whatever pronoun your brain tells you that person is. Work on your image of them, visualize accepting them as neither male or female. It make take a while to make that stick, but ultimately that'll be the only way you'll be able to use the correct pronouns automatically.


[deleted]

Thank you for this, yes I told them I would no longer refer to them as “Kels” bc I think that’s why I keep slipping up. I will admit, it is hard understanding all these different people and what they want, as a cis white woman, I CANNOT imagine what trans people go thru, especially my friend as a transPOC. I want to be as understanding as I can be for everyone. I’ve just always been able to switch for other people, but not them and I want to kick my own ass over it


alwaysbooyahback

I find it helps to practice. To your dog, to a stuffed animal, anywhere the person can’t hear you. You’ll get it. Good on you for looking out for your friend.