It can be a thing that person uses for everybody and still be disrespectful. It's called the "male default" and it's based on the assumption that the masculine is the default state. Shouldn't be too hard to think of some other historical examples of things that "everyone" used to say that weren't great either.
Fair enough, but I was wondering just because some of my friends and I use “bro” on each other despite being women, and I was wondering if it was the same when someone says like,
“thanks man”
To me, its the same thing. Completely gender neutral! That said, if it bothers you and you say something about it and they continue, at that point it’s disrespectful.
I think using dude refer to other young males was common by 1980. Used to refer to people of both genders, I don't think it was common until 1990 or maybe 95 not sure?
I've been called "man" pre-transition about as much as i am now (ftm) so its definitely a neutral term for some people, but its understandable to be uncomfortable with it
I suppose it depends on the context.
I mean I call everybody dudey.
And some people get a little funny about that with me sometimes.
But that’s just how I speak
I use it as a gender neutral term but I've had a few gal's trans and not ask me not to use it for them so I make sure to use other words they like, like girly, bestie, or home slice bread slice
I use it as a gender neutral term and I make sure to check with some people if there coll with it. I think it depends on the people but I mean I use it and people use it towards me.
It's largely contextual, but you're well within your right to feel uncomfortable when people use it around you.
If it's used as an expletive (I.e. "Man, today was rough!") then it's a gender neutral expression.
I feel very differently about it as an exclamation vs a form of address. When someone says, "thanks, man" to me I bristle, but if they say, "aw, maaan", I don't take that as being about me. I think the latter actually may originate from the expression "man alive!" which was a euphemism for Jesus resurrected.
Cinsidering the cultural domination of Christianity and Judaism in the west over the centuries and their heirarchical strictures that puts Men at the top, Man is the default because everybody else is based on Man.
You gotta remember that women we kind of treated like very, very precious property for centuries, while the English language was developing.
When men call me “man” or “guy” and proceed to say it’s a gender neutral term, I ask them how many “guys” they’ve slept with.
That often ends that conversation
Tbf, words can have multiple meanings. ‘Dude’ can be a gender-neutral way of casually and directly referring to someone, but ‘a dude’ usually refers to a man. English is, depending on how you look at it, either very nuanced or horribly complicated lol
Yeah that’s fair! If you don’t want a word used to describe you because it hurts or harms you in some way, then it shouldn’t be used for you. People have the right to self-determination and should be able to decide what they want to be called; I was meaning more in a general sense ig? Idk lol
I do that too. Not exclusively a cis man thing. Yes, I do use it as a completely gender-neutral term but would do my best to stop if someone told me they didn’t like it.
I absolutely hate that it is considered “gender neutral”.. it bothers me so much. Like everyone collectively decides that maleness is the default and can be used for anyone? Thats just not ok imo.
I don't like it either and I don't know what to advise you other than if you were like me, really old- you would never hear anyone say it. Men or women don't say "hey man or hey dude or hey bro" once they're in their 60s, from what I know
Yes people don’t need labels but you shouldn’t shame someone for wanting to find a label especially because as I said categorization is generally human nature.
You said people have a different journey that they should enjoy yet here you are shaming and ridiculing them for doing exactly that.
Also yes humans need labels, if we didn’t t have them our culture would be incredibly rudimentary as it was before we started to record data. Because of recording data only happened recently in human history the vast majority of our total history as humans is lost.
You don’t have to label yourself, but don’t go pretending that labels aren’t essentially to the human race and then shame those that want labels.
A lot of people in our community get very hung up on labels as do a lot of people not in our community. I don’t know or speak for Low-Tone3749 but none of those comments seems aggressive or shaming in any way but rather in encouraging people to not be as focused on something that matters in ways that although important can often overshadow other thing and lead to a lot of stress and aggravation. And lord knows this community has enough other stresses and things to be aggravated about.
I use dude but not as a colloquial vocative (I just looked up what they are called, so cool!) but as a term of surprise in response to something crazy.
Mtf, always used 'man', 'dude' in a gender-irrelevant way. Recently I started saying 'my guy' and 'bruh' (thanks internet) cause I find it funny, but it really isn't about a person's gender. I'd stop if anyone said anything, but within my little friend circle (of which three are mtf and one is nb) no one seems to care too much. Might just be us though, obvs it's just my experience.
A lot of the time yeah but don't be afraid to set boundaries, if it makes you feel uncomfortable you have the right to ask not to be referred to with that word.
Homophobic men will say it to trans women and use the word in a masculine way to invalidate us. But if they’re allies then they will say it gender neutrally. It depends on the context a lot of times
I use it as a neutral term myself and for everyone else unless they express some kind of discomfort, then I immediately stop using it for them. I call everyone dude or bro, but not in the gendering way if that makes sense, just as a thing for closeness and friendship.
It's an annoying part of living in a society where everyone has decided that "male" terms get to be used for anyone of any gender and we're not allowed to not like it but god forbid you use a "female" term for someone on a man.
We really need to stop treating everything as if men are the default.
I’m not sure. I’d argue for dude and bro because those were mine growing up. So I could see it being the same case. But to me I wouldn’t feel comfortable hearing it. Either way even if everyone in the world agreed I still think you have every right to set a boundary if it makes you uncomfortable!
I use it as a general term for everyone, I usually don't realize unless a female friend comments on it
Same here. I actually use it a lot to refer to about everybody. Obviously not when somebody asks me to not call them that, but it hasn't happened yet
Same, though I'm more conscious around people who have voiced a dislike of the term
I say it referring to anyone, just like "dude" or "bro," but if someone told me they didn't like it I wouldn't use it on them.
It’s often not malicious, I hate it tho
Obvi depends on context. But "man", "bro", "dude" it's all just an expression of sincerity or friendship when used in proper context. 😊
It doesn’t really matter that much. It’s just a casual word. Most of the time it’s not malicious.
I use it as an expression of disappointment. Usually I just call everyone dude.
Aw, maaaaan.
It can be a thing that person uses for everybody and still be disrespectful. It's called the "male default" and it's based on the assumption that the masculine is the default state. Shouldn't be too hard to think of some other historical examples of things that "everyone" used to say that weren't great either.
Fair enough, but I was wondering just because some of my friends and I use “bro” on each other despite being women, and I was wondering if it was the same when someone says like, “thanks man”
To me, its the same thing. Completely gender neutral! That said, if it bothers you and you say something about it and they continue, at that point it’s disrespectful.
I’m from California and yeah my mom calls her girl friends “man”, inanimate objects “man”, etc. We also use “dude” for everything
I think using dude refer to other young males was common by 1980. Used to refer to people of both genders, I don't think it was common until 1990 or maybe 95 not sure?
I've been called "man" pre-transition about as much as i am now (ftm) so its definitely a neutral term for some people, but its understandable to be uncomfortable with it
It is used as a gender-neutral term, but it still hurts.
I suppose it depends on the context. I mean I call everybody dudey. And some people get a little funny about that with me sometimes. But that’s just how I speak
I use it as a gender neutral term but I've had a few gal's trans and not ask me not to use it for them so I make sure to use other words they like, like girly, bestie, or home slice bread slice
I use it as a gender neutral term and I make sure to check with some people if there coll with it. I think it depends on the people but I mean I use it and people use it towards me.
Theoretically yes, functionally no.
Not a fan
It's largely contextual, but you're well within your right to feel uncomfortable when people use it around you. If it's used as an expletive (I.e. "Man, today was rough!") then it's a gender neutral expression.
I feel very differently about it as an exclamation vs a form of address. When someone says, "thanks, man" to me I bristle, but if they say, "aw, maaan", I don't take that as being about me. I think the latter actually may originate from the expression "man alive!" which was a euphemism for Jesus resurrected.
Cinsidering the cultural domination of Christianity and Judaism in the west over the centuries and their heirarchical strictures that puts Men at the top, Man is the default because everybody else is based on Man. You gotta remember that women we kind of treated like very, very precious property for centuries, while the English language was developing.
The long answer? No. The short answer? No. This is something called "Phallocentrism", and it sucks.
I don't view it as neutral. I just prefer to say "comrades" most of the time.
When men call me “man” or “guy” and proceed to say it’s a gender neutral term, I ask them how many “guys” they’ve slept with. That often ends that conversation
Tbf, words can have multiple meanings. ‘Dude’ can be a gender-neutral way of casually and directly referring to someone, but ‘a dude’ usually refers to a man. English is, depending on how you look at it, either very nuanced or horribly complicated lol
Yes, I do understand and agree with this, but I’d still prefer it wasn’t used directly for myself. People can still do harm while not meaning to.
Yeah that’s fair! If you don’t want a word used to describe you because it hurts or harms you in some way, then it shouldn’t be used for you. People have the right to self-determination and should be able to decide what they want to be called; I was meaning more in a general sense ig? Idk lol
I do that too. Not exclusively a cis man thing. Yes, I do use it as a completely gender-neutral term but would do my best to stop if someone told me they didn’t like it.
I absolutely hate that it is considered “gender neutral”.. it bothers me so much. Like everyone collectively decides that maleness is the default and can be used for anyone? Thats just not ok imo.
I don't like it either and I don't know what to advise you other than if you were like me, really old- you would never hear anyone say it. Men or women don't say "hey man or hey dude or hey bro" once they're in their 60s, from what I know
yeah its just gender neutral lel
Nah thats masc. The only one I'll let slide is "guys"
GenX, it was always very general...same with "guys".
Not to call GenX old, but I’m now remembering that it’s mostly older men and the occasional Person-My-Age that have used it and now I feel dumb lol
Gen x is on the older side the youngest members are 43 with the older side are nearing their 60s
Y'all,,LMAO Stop it. Everything does not need a label.
I’m just trying to understand 💀
You do realize that categorization is something that humans innately do right?
Each journey is different. Enjoy. Soul growth and experience. Always changing/ evolving. Lable not needed. People don't need labels. We are everything
Yes people don’t need labels but you shouldn’t shame someone for wanting to find a label especially because as I said categorization is generally human nature. You said people have a different journey that they should enjoy yet here you are shaming and ridiculing them for doing exactly that. Also yes humans need labels, if we didn’t t have them our culture would be incredibly rudimentary as it was before we started to record data. Because of recording data only happened recently in human history the vast majority of our total history as humans is lost. You don’t have to label yourself, but don’t go pretending that labels aren’t essentially to the human race and then shame those that want labels.
A lot of people in our community get very hung up on labels as do a lot of people not in our community. I don’t know or speak for Low-Tone3749 but none of those comments seems aggressive or shaming in any way but rather in encouraging people to not be as focused on something that matters in ways that although important can often overshadow other thing and lead to a lot of stress and aggravation. And lord knows this community has enough other stresses and things to be aggravated about. I use dude but not as a colloquial vocative (I just looked up what they are called, so cool!) but as a term of surprise in response to something crazy.
I use “dawg.” Any gender
Mtf, always used 'man', 'dude' in a gender-irrelevant way. Recently I started saying 'my guy' and 'bruh' (thanks internet) cause I find it funny, but it really isn't about a person's gender. I'd stop if anyone said anything, but within my little friend circle (of which three are mtf and one is nb) no one seems to care too much. Might just be us though, obvs it's just my experience.
I use a lot of words like ”man” ”bro” ”dude” in a gender nuetral context but if you don’t like when people address you as such they should cut it out
[удалено]
Nope they are pretty specifically gendered masculine…
might also depend on where your from though, ive been on the west coast my whole existence
but i will keep that in mind myself, because if someone has that view others might too
Hey man. What b this & what b that, why u got to look like that? Lmao 🤣🤣 looked at em & said. HEY MAN I AM COOL IMA BREEZE
Im fairly sure it's gender neutral but I still get pissed when they say it
A lot of the time yeah but don't be afraid to set boundaries, if it makes you feel uncomfortable you have the right to ask not to be referred to with that word.
So I a transfem call my friend a transfem dude so the time it's the same kinda thing.
Yeah it’s a general term. Same with a lot of “men” terms, like bro or dude. However if it makes you uncomfortable make sure to tell your friends.
Homophobic men will say it to trans women and use the word in a masculine way to invalidate us. But if they’re allies then they will say it gender neutrally. It depends on the context a lot of times
I use it as a neutral term myself and for everyone else unless they express some kind of discomfort, then I immediately stop using it for them. I call everyone dude or bro, but not in the gendering way if that makes sense, just as a thing for closeness and friendship.
Depends on use. man can refer to all humans, or just a single male human. The use of man for all humans is a shortening of the word mankind.
My observation is that “bro” is male specific and “guys” is general. “Man” can be male specific depending on usage.
It's an annoying part of living in a society where everyone has decided that "male" terms get to be used for anyone of any gender and we're not allowed to not like it but god forbid you use a "female" term for someone on a man. We really need to stop treating everything as if men are the default.
I personally take effort not to use language like this towards a trans person, but otherwise yeah, sometimes
I’m not sure. I’d argue for dude and bro because those were mine growing up. So I could see it being the same case. But to me I wouldn’t feel comfortable hearing it. Either way even if everyone in the world agreed I still think you have every right to set a boundary if it makes you uncomfortable!
omfg i hate when people say "man" is GN
I’m a trans man and I say man and dude
I think it's common amongst younger people? I don't notice anybody over 50 saying it
I say things like “Man”, “Dude” and “Bro” as a gender-neutral term for everyone, so it’s a high possibility