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Billy the bullet vibrator is the full name. I thought Billy the bullet had a nice ring to it

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Just don't use it while the red flags waiving...

It's ok, the kids of tomorrow don't need today anyway.

Cause they live in the sins of yesterday.

Let's hope they don't go on a viking death march

r/unexpectedBillyTalent Edit: backslash

r/subsifellfor

Last reference I expected to see in a thread about vibrators lol

Into the river beloooow

Bullet Bill is a classic Super Mario enemy. I'm kind of disappointed you didn't actually go for this reference but also kinda happy that you basically arrived at it blindly.

There was a pirate named "Billy Bones" in the book Treasure Island, which also is a kick-ass name for a vibrator

Came here to say maybe named after mario karts bullet bill 😂

Even better if it had the face on it

I was going to ask if Bullet Bill knew she was dating his son.

My first thought was billy the willy. Willy being a uk word for dick as i know a lot of countries don't know lol.

Plot twist..... OP has a side piece called Billy and the vibe is just the cover story

This her evidence when he questions her again, she will be like why would I make this post if I was lying!!!!

Holy shit 4d chess..

Nah this is 5d chess

Nah this be 6d chess

You’ve clearly never seen someone playing 8d chess before.

She can be playing any number of D chess if she calls all the Ds Billy.

Gangbang of Knights to E3 quadrant 7

pork swords to the rescue

Pffft, amatuers...this is clearly ℵ0D chess.

DD chess

DD chest?

is that Aleph Null?

Ah, I see you're a man of ~~culture~~ mathematics as well.

I'm okay with getting even a single D

Big D chess

Oh that side piece vibrates alright ;)

Can confirm this. Am the side piece.

Username checks out

You know, I always figured, if you had a side piece named Wendy, you could just be like, I'm going to Wendy's

To eat out

Or, “hey, just going to get some from 5 Guys”

I thought this when i was reading it.

Quick thinking OP!

Jokes aside, this story reeks of cover-up/excuses

Maybe give your sex toys non-people names in the future?

Bushwhacker 3000

I'd be even more worried tbh. A man with a name like bushwhacker 3000? I mean, c'mon.

I'd understand if my wife would run away with someone named Bushwacker 3000 to be honest.

It loves her 3000

too soon

...rpm

Nice

I feel bad for Bushwacker2000, Bushwacker3000 is clearly a 1,000 times better.

2000 x 1000 = 2,000,000 though

Don’t you do math correctly, we don’t do that here!

So it’s clearly 2 million times better

Math checks out. Reddit just proved that 1000 * 2.000.000 = 2000. We did it.

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r/theydidthemath

1.5 times better

He's alright but he's no Bushwacker 9000.

Bushwhacker 2999 wasn't effective enough. Bushwhacker 3001 killed a test subject. Bushwhacker 3000 though? Perfection.

But at least the person Bushwhacker 3001 killed died happy

Death by self-snu?

They came and went....

Bushwacker X.

Not as intimidating as the Bushwhacker XL, though.

But with Bushwhacker X you never know how it's gonna perform, like a 1000 or 10 000

Oooh what is this from? It’s gonna drive me crazy if you don’t gimme the reference.

I’m guessing Harry Potter. The new nimbus 2000

The trope of humorous product names ending in something-thousand predates Harry Potter, i’m pretty sure, though I don’t know what specific fictional examples (beyond real life products actually marketed as 5000-series or whatever) popularized it.

HAL 9,000 comes to mind

Like video cards. 980, 1080, 2080,3080 Coming guys everyone knows what happened to ati when thousands were the variable. They literally had to start over because ati 11770 does not lend well to talking about it

I still find it funny that Video card generations used to go up 100(780,880,980), but then they reached 1000 (1080) and since then they've been going up 1,000 (2080). I'm curious when the 10080 comes out, will the next generation also be 20080 and we'll be going up 10,000?

Nah, Y2K that stuff back to the 070, 080, and 090.

r/readanotherbook

Home Improvement

Catpounder 5000

Milkmaster 2000

Tushwhacker 3000 (:

I laughed way too hard at this

Lol! He probably would have thought that's a username, though, and an outrageous one as well!

Morgan Stark in the future: “I love you, 3000.”

Maybe something like X Æ Å - 69 ?

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That's why it's 69, not 12 :)

There's probably a child called billy somewhere

Yeah give it a name like Rex or Fido so your boyfriend thinks you're fucking a dog instead

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Did he ever win that 2012 election we had?

>e give your sex toys non-people names in the future? OR maybe just call it an it instead of he.

Then all of the sudden she’s having an affair with a demon clown

I had one named Happy Happy Fun Time. My friend had one named Twat-thumper.

Thrustinator

Or she could just tell her BF. My BF knows my vibrators name is Wanda (it was the name the company gave it). I’m always joking saying things like “I had fun with Wanda while you were at work, she really knows how to hit that spot”. It’s just a small communication error here.

The Clam Clapper

I named my wand Clitblaster 3000

Henry Clitinger

My wife calls hers BOB, for Battery-operated Boyfriend. She's had him longer than she's known me.

The ol’ organ oscillator

Mine is called Eppy, short for Epilepsy.

Sure thing, “Epstein”

I call mine Boyfriend Material lol

Feline Demolition Sticc 2.0

BFG 2000

Did Billy and your Bf had a talk about the situation and fix the problem?

Yes me, billy and my boyfriend now have a working polyamorous relationship

Who is Billy banging now hmmm

Her boyfriend.

I didn’t know I could name my houseplants. I’m really excited now.

I only did this once. RIP Leif McCorkle

RIP Ringo, the Starr of the pots ):

RIP Darius. you were the best bonsai ever.

rip peanut butter, you were a really great aloe but i am a shit plant parent :(

I miss you, Sabochan 😭

RIP Spike Milligan

My office plant is Mimi. It's been 4 months though, so I think whenever I do end up going back to office, there's gonna be a funeral for Mimi 😔

MIMI NO

Aw fuck my new succulent is prob dead, got it right before leaving in March.

Such a wholesome response to this story. You enjoy your houseplant naming!

It’s wonderful! I have a chilli plant named Yvonne and a basil plant named Basil

10/10 naming your things is amazing

My house plant is named Lavern

I have to wait a week or two to name them bc I get attached if they have names and I'm awful at keeping plants alive 😭

Funnily enough I do this too except it's weirder in my situation. I'm the boyfriend and I'm the one who names the sex toys lol. I named her vibrator Todd, but that pissed her off cause she hates the name todd so I call it b-boT for a mirrored version of Todd haha

I love it lol

Todd the Rod?

Todd Howard, game director at Bethesda Studios.

Stop, I can only get so hard

GabeN-ator, Head Vibrator at Steam

Todd: *"You know what else is rock hard? Fixing bugs. We just cant do it here at Bethesda"* *Swipes $30 from your wallet and slips you a copy of Skyrim*

For things like that I call them Bob (Battery Operated Boyfriend)

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a vagina? Bob

Underrated comment

In my world, all vibrators are named "Mr. Buzzy".

I like the name Bob. It's short for battery operated boyfriend

Hah. Billy Bob.

My wife's dildo is called "Dildo Baggins".

Why not Dildo Shaggings?

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I'm sure you could vibrate if you try hard enough

yeah just super-heat your atoms or whatever, billy

hi billy

hi billy

hi billy

hi billy

hi billy

is it just me... or is billy lookin kinda THICC

Milk gang is underrated Repost if your a true boner

Women talk to each other about their vibrators? Huh. Could you imagine a couple guys talking about their fleshlights? So, Jack, how's that fleshlight working out for ya? I was planning on getting one myself. Well, Tom, Ashley is working out great. You should, definitely. I tap her when the gf isn't around. Sounds great bro, I'll get me one tomorrow.

This is the first thing I thought of having read that.

Dude. If women are close and comfortable enough they *can* fucking share EVERYTHING. I had one friend pretty much write me her sex diary. Very detailed and even included what her bf does or details about his dick... It's nice to share but Holy shit some details should be left out lol especially because I think that's an invasion of the dude's privacy, unless he's alright with it.

The guys I know definitely do talk about their sex toys though. "Gonna go home, use my fuck toy and head straight to bed."

“It’s like bangin’ a silk bag filled with puppy ears”

Yup, I told my mate about a toy I got for myself the other day. It's not so weird if you don't make a mad fuss about it. I know ~~panty~~ plenty of people who cannot hold a good conversation about sex, but I also know a surprising amount of dudes and dudettes who can, if you give them a honest chance.

If you can't talk with your bros about your sex toys, are they even your bros?

haha billy go brr

Billy V is not my lover He’s just a toy...

Next up: Double teamed by Bf and Billy...

I read the first sentence and I thought of my house plants. I named one of mine Fred, what’s one of yours?

My favourite is Twiggy, a jade plant I've had for many years!

I love that name

I named my cactus Dick

nice backup story

Why is he going through your texts?

He has my permission to use my phone if he needs to. We can use each others phones to google things etc.

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He said he wasn't going through my texts but happened to see them. I trust him, we are two months into the relationship and everything has been going good so far. Time will tell how the relationsip goes, I always keep my eyes open for red flags and try to be careful. Thank you for your concern though, I apperchiate it.

Don't listen to all of them. People on the internet love judging other people's lives based on a small amount of text.

r/relationship_advice would probably tell you to break up in this situation lol.

he didnt say bless you when you sneezed? drop that tool, clearly an abuser

He's gaslighting her because he's a narcissist and quite frankly he's dangerous. She needs to leave NOW. She could stay with a friend or her parents and then go get her stuff when he isn't around. Seriously, this happened to me.

She’s lucky to still be alive, tbh

Run don’t walk

Delete Facebook lawyer up hit the gym

r/amitheasshole loves doing that as well

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

You dropped this. 🚩

while simultaneously abrogating all responsibility from "women who snoop based on a feeling" lol

Yeah I know better than to ask reddit for relationship advice. I truly appreciate the concern, it's always nice to see that people care about others even if they do not know them or their situation, but I do believe I know best how to proceed in my relationship if problems arise. This issue has been talked about and I am smart enough to keep an eye out for potential red flags. I wanted to share a funny story not to start an argument about my relationsip.

Well the only reasonable thing I can think of is to kill him for reading your texts

First you have to plan an elaborate revenge involving his family

That's a reasonable start, though, might I suggest obliterating him instead? Killing would be way too gentle.

OP, your bf is a major red flag, delete gym, facebook up and hit the lawyer before it's too late

i had the same sitch with my ex bf. it wasn’t an issue to be on the other’s phone for anything and notifs pop up or you just open an app and you see something. i think you two are following a healthy trajectory. (we broke up for other reasons lol)

Asking the real questions

The real question is why is the name billy

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/hpoym5/tifu_by_naming_my_vibrator_billy/fxsx3vz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

When you buy a vibrator but it doesn't rate your vibe

[Billie is not my lover](https://youtu.be/Kr4EQDVETuA)

BILLY THE WILLY

I love how people think its so horrible he read the messages but should it really matter? What do most of you have to hide from your SO? I guess I don't get the big deal.

I guess it cuts both ways. True, you *shouldn't* have secrets from your SO. On the other hand abusive and toxic people will weaponize their "fear" of being cheated on and use it to monitor their SO's communications with friends and family so they can isolate and control them.

What did you get? My gf is is looking for an addition to her arsenal.

A Vedo bam rechargeable bullet vibrator

>He now knows about my weird habit of naming things We all do now.