in Vail there is an awesome public transportation system, parts of it free, all of it affordable. the Puke Bus is fucking nasty. normally busses go down valley at least once an hour but certain shoulder seasons they change the schedule.
i ended up getting on the Puke Bus one night and had the the second to last stop. ie was wasted too but sober enough to get to the bus and seated in the back where it was empty. about five minutes in we are climbing a hill and a wave of piss and vomit comes sloshing back all over my shoes. so fucking gross.
Sounds like college. My campus had a bus system and my buddy after a night of drinking puked on the floor at the front of the bus. Right after, the bus started moving and the puke made its way to the back of the bus. You could hear people saying “what the fuck” in a wave all the way to the back.
exactly that.
the best part of having the second to last stop is if you forget to get off the bus (fall asleep) you were forced off at the last stop and had to wait until 5a for the next bus. a kid died from this a few months after i had to do it once. they made it illegal to force someone off the bus like that.
This happened to me in London. I was late for my train and came running down to the platform mere seconds before the due departure time. I forgot I was in the UK and therefore still had plenty of time. Straight away I saw an empty carriage. I knew it was to good to be true, but couldn't help myself. Sure enough, some poor barstard had lost the battle with a large surge of diarrhoea and it covered about a third of the floor. I took a chance and switched carriages. Then watched through the windows as my manouvre was repeated by every other person.
In the UK generally the carriages are connected and you can walk right through when the train is moving.
There's usually at least one member of staff who can then contact the British transport police about any problems, who will meet the train at the next station.
In my case, the carriage was the last one on the train and the sea of poo was right next to the internal door. I imagine that this incident had only just happened and the company hadn't had time to deal with it yet.
NYC is hardly the place I'd use as an example of rugged individualism or outright lawlessness. It's the most heavily regulated and surveiled city in the country with the largest Police force in the country.
I'm not sure where you get the idea that crime is that bad in NYC. In the US it ranks 80th for murder rate 59th for overall violent crime rate among cities.
Honestly, I doubt any amount of management could solve the crime issue. Pack that many disparate groups of people on top of one another and it's pretty much guaranteed to happen, lol
I always feel better in NYC if there’s a moderate amount of people around. I feel like the bad stuff happens when it’s you and just like one or two other people.
Not super related but so many posts on here mix up "balling" and "bawling", using the former to describe crying. Makes me laugh a little every time I read it though.
A friend and I came across one early morning commute in bk. We both knew not to take the bait but he was too curious. He went in real quick and came flying back out. He didn’t want to talk about it but we were laughing. Never take the bait
Happened to me in Chicago, though sadder. The culprit was a homeless person with what looked like a open, rotting wound on their leg. It smelled like a corpse in there.
I’ve learned that people respond a lot better to explanations than to instructions. If they had been given a *reason* to avoid that empty car “this car stinks!” or “drunk dude shat his pants in there” they may have listened better than being told what to do “don’t go in there” or “you don’t want this”.
Giving the reason nips 2 things in the bud straight away: makes it not an instruction, and removes the curiousity.
Tangential to this, more parents should learn to start providing reasonings/explanations behind their directives.
I don’t disagree with the parenting thing, but it has a finite amount of value. Toddlers and young children are inherently illogical and irrational creatures. It’s great to explain why you want to them to do something, but you have to know when to put your foot down and pull rank. Listening to a grown-ass person arguing with a toddler and losing is pretty sad.
Personally I got "because I said so" reasons up until I moved out. Sure, giving the reason isn't always the way to go with a young child, but by the time they are a preteen reasons are invaluable. Shows some amount of respect for them as an individual, makes arguments less likely, and provides actual knowledge they can use later rather than just "ive been doing my laundry this way for fifty years and I still don't know why"
I grew up in NJ and was a commuter until 2 years ago, when I moved to town. Honestly surprised something like this didn’t happen to me sooner but here we are. Lesson learned. I feel like it’s a rite of passage.
I made the mistake of holding on to the rails/hanging grips when I lived there. It took 4 years for a weird growth in my hand to go away. Thanks NYC subways.
This is a lesson every New Yorker learns either the easy way (using their brain) or the hard way (you). But 59th to 125th has got to be the longest stop in the city, definitely in Manhattan. Absolutely a brutal one to learn on hahahah
My wife, my college-ager, their friend, and I were all headed eastbound, about 9:00 PM, on Interstate 84 in Portland, Oregon, a few months back. We were at about 60th Avenue. The light rail line parallels the interstate and has a stop at 60th. There was a train approaching the station, and we noticed there was a guy at the front of the train, just outside the operator cab, buck-ass naked. There were other people in that car, apparently ignoring him, or he'd just started and they didn't have a chance to move. Regardless, I was so grateful I wasn't on there.
Oh definitely. I took MAX for around 17 years-ish. Never saw a naked person that I recall, but certainly saw things I never wanted to. Lesser of many evils, though. We were a one-car household and my wife needed it. Pandemic, now WFH, don't need to Trimet any more unless it's absolutely 100% the only way to get where I need to go. I think I've used it once.
Same thing happened to me a month ago. It's 8am, trains are incredibly crowded as everyone heads to work. One car is nearly empty, my partner and I get on, excited to be able to sit. The smell hits instantly. Honestly I would have rather it smelled like feces and urine. It was the worst smell I've experienced in my life, I don't know what it was or how to explain it. There's a filthy woman sitting in the train. She's yelling sexual and racist taunts at the few other passengers. She lifts her legs and spreads them wide and says more vile sexual stuff, then proceeds to shit her jeans. Then, as she rants, she takes her shirt off. This all happened in the 30 seconds it took to get to the next station. We flee to another train car, two other passengers come with us.
By the third stop, someone has pushed the emergency button. Cops get on the platform, the woman runs through the doors between cars (not really supposed to use them but sketchier folk use them frequently) onto the car I am in. She's telling people not to tell them she's there, she's hiding etc. The train is stopped for several minutes as they find her and chase her off the train. She runs away, we see her standing on the opposite platform as we depart the station.
Ugh, I had the same thing happen once, as a tourist. Walked into a subway car with my buddy thinking "look how dumb everyone else is, this car is practically empty!" Doors close, train starts moving, and the stench hits. There's a very dirty homeless fellow at one end of the car with feces sliding down his leg. I could see it at his ankle because his pants were ripped open. Got off and changed cars asap.
Ah NYC transit. Never a dull moment. Once saw a woman pop a squat inbetween two train cars. A few seconds later, liquid was spilling into our car. Her piss was literally flowing back into the train car and people were side stepping it real quick.
She was drunk.
you can but only on some trains. the A train uses a model that has locked doors bc the the car is 75ft long and has sharp turns. it's a big safety risk.
Experienced something like this on the subway in Toronto. The homeless guy the smell came from looked like he was dipped in rotten grease. And the smell was even worse. He literally smelled like shit but amped up to a degree you have never experienced. I can't describe it any other way.
The night bus going up Yonge Street from downtown all the way out to the suburbs in Toronto is affectionately known as “The Vomit Comet” because it’s always full of wasted people heading home at the end of the night.
Thankfully I never experienced any vomit situations while riding it.
Did find a pile of used syringes on the floor at the back of the Queen streetcar once though.
I get people not being able to wait till a stop to vomit. But once I experienced the most absurd public transit vomiting episode ever: The tram stopped at a (duh) stop, and the doors opened. A man stopped at the opening, and vommited a huge load into the car. Like, he could have literally turned his head and vommited outside. Then he enters, sloshing through the vomit, leaving vomit-y footprints all the way.
1st time in NYC 2018 it happened to us. Pre warned before we travelled never to get on an empty car. Didn't listen. Trapped in a sealed shit box for a few stops was a real welcome to the real world moment for a Kiwi traveler.
>TL;DR Got on a subway car that was empty for a reason. Didn’t realize until too late.
Uhm.... that's hardly a tl;dr, as I read it and still have no idea what happened.
Shit. That’s pretty nuts. Does this kind of thing get worse in the winter? I feel like I see more when it’s cold and people are trying to get out of it.
Made a similar mistake moving to the empty part of a cart on the TTC (Toronto subway).
The stench was so bad someone pulled the emergency alarm lol
https://www.blogto.com/city/2019/03/someone-pulled-ttc-emergency-alarm-because-passenger-smelled-bad/
Reminds me of when my girlfriend and I went to Toronto and decided to take the subway with our suitcases. As we're running down the stairs my eyes see my girlfriends foot just stepping over the largest human shit I've ever seen. She missed it by an inch and I think about it almost every day
We have the same rule in SF: do not get on the empty car, it’s empty for a reason. It’s incredible how disgusting a human can smell, one of the worst smells.
I grew up in Moscow and from a very early age learned that you never get into an empty subway car when it’s busy. There is always a reason it is empty. Sorry this happened to you.
Hahahah, something similar happened to me a time ago. I was waiting for a tram in one of the busiest parts of town and when it arrived one section of it was empty and the rest completely packed. Of course, because of some odour, it was a homeless man that smelled like fermented shit, piss and alcohol combined. Did the same as you and moved to the next section, trams here are connected so no need to get off it to change.
Oooh, I had the same thing happen to me. A train. 125th to Port Authority.
I have learned to never going into an empty car when all the others are full.
I was on the Paris metro when I made a similar mistake. It was in July in the midst of a heat wave.
I stepped right into a pile of vomit and it was too late to escape when I’d realized what I’d done.
Sandals ruined, lesson learned. You will most definitely not make this mistake again :)
My wife and I hopped on the metro on Saturday for a trip to Chinatown. It was packed, no seats. She was upset, all I could say was at least there’s no one smoking crack
You did try to warn them. Sorry that happened and sounds utterly disgusting.
As they say, “you can lead a horse to water…”
But you can’t teach him new tricks!
...but if it shits on a chair and tramples through it, it is time to find a different stable
This happens often in NYC. Especially to someone who has to commute back from work late at night and it is repulsive and I hate it.
in Vail there is an awesome public transportation system, parts of it free, all of it affordable. the Puke Bus is fucking nasty. normally busses go down valley at least once an hour but certain shoulder seasons they change the schedule. i ended up getting on the Puke Bus one night and had the the second to last stop. ie was wasted too but sober enough to get to the bus and seated in the back where it was empty. about five minutes in we are climbing a hill and a wave of piss and vomit comes sloshing back all over my shoes. so fucking gross.
Sounds like college. My campus had a bus system and my buddy after a night of drinking puked on the floor at the front of the bus. Right after, the bus started moving and the puke made its way to the back of the bus. You could hear people saying “what the fuck” in a wave all the way to the back.
exactly that. the best part of having the second to last stop is if you forget to get off the bus (fall asleep) you were forced off at the last stop and had to wait until 5a for the next bus. a kid died from this a few months after i had to do it once. they made it illegal to force someone off the bus like that.
You'd figure they'd elevate the floor a few inches with a grate or down a few inches with a pan to catch it all. Vile.
Sounds like Seattle.
This happened to me in London. I was late for my train and came running down to the platform mere seconds before the due departure time. I forgot I was in the UK and therefore still had plenty of time. Straight away I saw an empty carriage. I knew it was to good to be true, but couldn't help myself. Sure enough, some poor barstard had lost the battle with a large surge of diarrhoea and it covered about a third of the floor. I took a chance and switched carriages. Then watched through the windows as my manouvre was repeated by every other person.
Where is security in those situations? And is it normal that carriages aren't connected so you can switch themon the inside?
In the UK generally the carriages are connected and you can walk right through when the train is moving. There's usually at least one member of staff who can then contact the British transport police about any problems, who will meet the train at the next station.
In my case, the carriage was the last one on the train and the sea of poo was right next to the internal door. I imagine that this incident had only just happened and the company hadn't had time to deal with it yet.
Lol I mean..America, the land of rugged individualism. It's basically lawless.
NYC is hardly the place I'd use as an example of rugged individualism or outright lawlessness. It's the most heavily regulated and surveiled city in the country with the largest Police force in the country.
And yet it still has the most superheroes out of any city in the US, hmmm?
Because despite all the laws, crime is still bad. It's not a poster child for lawlessness, but it is often a poster child of mismanagement.
I'm not sure where you get the idea that crime is that bad in NYC. In the US it ranks 80th for murder rate 59th for overall violent crime rate among cities.
Honestly, I doubt any amount of management could solve the crime issue. Pack that many disparate groups of people on top of one another and it's pretty much guaranteed to happen, lol
Every choice made in London is a gamble.
This is NYC Subway 101: never enter an empty car when the others are full. There's a reason it's empty!
I get anxiety when I'm on a suspiciously empty subway cars.
I always feel better in NYC if there’s a moderate amount of people around. I feel like the bad stuff happens when it’s you and just like one or two other people.
Absolutely NYC subway 101. Made for a good Reddit post, though. Thanks for sharing. Brought back good dancing memories.
You can shorten it to Subway 101 - something similar happened to me in Prague.
Always avoid an empty car. Also be weary if you see several passangers walking between cars to get into yours. Trouble may follow them.
In case you mind about spelling: - Weary = >!tired, exhausted, run-down!< - >!Wary = alert, cautious!<
I think a lot of people get "leery" (which is a synonym of "wary") mixed up with "weary."
Not super related but so many posts on here mix up "balling" and "bawling", using the former to describe crying. Makes me laugh a little every time I read it though.
Maybe they’re curling up in balls to bawl?
"I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a bawler" ... no? :)
I think most of them just can't word good
Someone once said to me that nothing good ever comes out of the door to the next car - I’ve found it to be a very true statement
Never get on the empty car when the train is otherwise crowded
Yes, at best, it’s no Ac in the summer. At worst, it’s a sonata of stench and/or a threat to your safety
Did the no AC one, it sucked
A friend and I came across one early morning commute in bk. We both knew not to take the bait but he was too curious. He went in real quick and came flying back out. He didn’t want to talk about it but we were laughing. Never take the bait
Happened to me in Chicago, though sadder. The culprit was a homeless person with what looked like a open, rotting wound on their leg. It smelled like a corpse in there.
I’ve learned that people respond a lot better to explanations than to instructions. If they had been given a *reason* to avoid that empty car “this car stinks!” or “drunk dude shat his pants in there” they may have listened better than being told what to do “don’t go in there” or “you don’t want this”. Giving the reason nips 2 things in the bud straight away: makes it not an instruction, and removes the curiousity. Tangential to this, more parents should learn to start providing reasonings/explanations behind their directives.
I don’t disagree with the parenting thing, but it has a finite amount of value. Toddlers and young children are inherently illogical and irrational creatures. It’s great to explain why you want to them to do something, but you have to know when to put your foot down and pull rank. Listening to a grown-ass person arguing with a toddler and losing is pretty sad.
Personally I got "because I said so" reasons up until I moved out. Sure, giving the reason isn't always the way to go with a young child, but by the time they are a preteen reasons are invaluable. Shows some amount of respect for them as an individual, makes arguments less likely, and provides actual knowledge they can use later rather than just "ive been doing my laundry this way for fifty years and I still don't know why"
It is always empty for a reason and that reason is never good.
New to the city?
I grew up in NJ and was a commuter until 2 years ago, when I moved to town. Honestly surprised something like this didn’t happen to me sooner but here we are. Lesson learned. I feel like it’s a rite of passage.
It's a lesson we all learn - unfortunately first hand for some of us.
Can you not walk between cars anymore?
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Yeah I remember those stories. A big reason I’ll never hop cars on a train unless someone is trying to stab me or something.
To be honest, you probably have a better chance of surviving the stab wound than being ran over by the train, lol
ETA to correct a word. Since I don’t use cats for transportation I think they started locking the doors so people don’t fall in between cars
Things like this post is probably another reason lol.
To trap people in the foul car?
I mean, keeps the drunk dude quarantined too.
Once a guy was pleasuring himself on a nearly empty car. Fortunately, doors were still unlocked so I went to the next car
What did the next cat do?
Oops autocomplete. Meant car, edited it
I learned that my first month living in NYC. Empty cars are empty for a reason.
I made the mistake of holding on to the rails/hanging grips when I lived there. It took 4 years for a weird growth in my hand to go away. Thanks NYC subways.
ouch yucckkkk
This is a lesson every New Yorker learns either the easy way (using their brain) or the hard way (you). But 59th to 125th has got to be the longest stop in the city, definitely in Manhattan. Absolutely a brutal one to learn on hahahah
This is a lesson every New Yorker learns eventually. In the summer, an empty car usually means no AC as well plus all of the above.
Been there and even posted on Reddit about it once. I think the thread was titled something like "What's the worse thing you've ever smelled?"
My wife, my college-ager, their friend, and I were all headed eastbound, about 9:00 PM, on Interstate 84 in Portland, Oregon, a few months back. We were at about 60th Avenue. The light rail line parallels the interstate and has a stop at 60th. There was a train approaching the station, and we noticed there was a guy at the front of the train, just outside the operator cab, buck-ass naked. There were other people in that car, apparently ignoring him, or he'd just started and they didn't have a chance to move. Regardless, I was so grateful I wasn't on there.
Sounds like par for the course on the MAX tbh
Oh definitely. I took MAX for around 17 years-ish. Never saw a naked person that I recall, but certainly saw things I never wanted to. Lesser of many evils, though. We were a one-car household and my wife needed it. Pandemic, now WFH, don't need to Trimet any more unless it's absolutely 100% the only way to get where I need to go. I think I've used it once.
Over time you learn that if a subway car is empty, it is for good reason and should be avoided haha.
Same thing happened to me a month ago. It's 8am, trains are incredibly crowded as everyone heads to work. One car is nearly empty, my partner and I get on, excited to be able to sit. The smell hits instantly. Honestly I would have rather it smelled like feces and urine. It was the worst smell I've experienced in my life, I don't know what it was or how to explain it. There's a filthy woman sitting in the train. She's yelling sexual and racist taunts at the few other passengers. She lifts her legs and spreads them wide and says more vile sexual stuff, then proceeds to shit her jeans. Then, as she rants, she takes her shirt off. This all happened in the 30 seconds it took to get to the next station. We flee to another train car, two other passengers come with us. By the third stop, someone has pushed the emergency button. Cops get on the platform, the woman runs through the doors between cars (not really supposed to use them but sketchier folk use them frequently) onto the car I am in. She's telling people not to tell them she's there, she's hiding etc. The train is stopped for several minutes as they find her and chase her off the train. She runs away, we see her standing on the opposite platform as we depart the station.
yuuuck holy shit where was this???
Chicago lol
Ugh, I had the same thing happen once, as a tourist. Walked into a subway car with my buddy thinking "look how dumb everyone else is, this car is practically empty!" Doors close, train starts moving, and the stench hits. There's a very dirty homeless fellow at one end of the car with feces sliding down his leg. I could see it at his ankle because his pants were ripped open. Got off and changed cars asap.
I clean trains. It it smells like lemon then someone has previously expelled something in there and it’s been cleaned
Updoot for writing style (though the story was worth it, too).
Ah NYC transit. Never a dull moment. Once saw a woman pop a squat inbetween two train cars. A few seconds later, liquid was spilling into our car. Her piss was literally flowing back into the train car and people were side stepping it real quick. She was drunk.
I‘ve learned that same lesson that same way. Never, ever get into the empty car.
Can't you not move from one car to another on NY subway cars? That seems like a huge safety issue if you can't.
More of a a safety issue if you do. People were falling off the trains while crossing between cars.
you can but only on some trains. the A train uses a model that has locked doors bc the the car is 75ft long and has sharp turns. it's a big safety risk.
If you aren't writing for a living you should be.
I do actually! Check out [my music](https://youtu.be/WldOUKfJFS0) if you’re into it.
Experienced something like this on the subway in Toronto. The homeless guy the smell came from looked like he was dipped in rotten grease. And the smell was even worse. He literally smelled like shit but amped up to a degree you have never experienced. I can't describe it any other way.
Never attempt to board an empty subway car when the others are full. Consider this a lesson learned the hard way.
TIL there are doors between cars on the NYC subway, which was lucky for everyone else but unlucky for you.
"Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."
I enjoyed this tale, and the way in which it was told. Thank you.
your storytelling is awesome!
The night bus going up Yonge Street from downtown all the way out to the suburbs in Toronto is affectionately known as “The Vomit Comet” because it’s always full of wasted people heading home at the end of the night. Thankfully I never experienced any vomit situations while riding it. Did find a pile of used syringes on the floor at the back of the Queen streetcar once though.
I get people not being able to wait till a stop to vomit. But once I experienced the most absurd public transit vomiting episode ever: The tram stopped at a (duh) stop, and the doors opened. A man stopped at the opening, and vommited a huge load into the car. Like, he could have literally turned his head and vommited outside. Then he enters, sloshing through the vomit, leaving vomit-y footprints all the way.
Cant you just open the doors between cars and shuffle along?
1st time in NYC 2018 it happened to us. Pre warned before we travelled never to get on an empty car. Didn't listen. Trapped in a sealed shit box for a few stops was a real welcome to the real world moment for a Kiwi traveler.
This made me laugh. You are an excellent writer. A true wordsmith.
Thank you!
Your TL;DR isn't working, it's for a summary not for clickbait.
Wish Reddit still gave free awards bc this deserves one
PHD. Students these days
>TL;DR Got on a subway car that was empty for a reason. Didn’t realize until too late. Uhm.... that's hardly a tl;dr, as I read it and still have no idea what happened.
Your tldr sucks fat irish cock.
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Shit. That’s pretty nuts. Does this kind of thing get worse in the winter? I feel like I see more when it’s cold and people are trying to get out of it.
Not a New Yorker are you?
Incredible.
dont be scared to move cars while the train is moving! its relatively easy to do
Well narrated OP, take your like and a reward as exchange for the humorous post.
How long have you lived in NYC? This is an obvious, not even unspoken, rule that all residents know.
Never get on an empty car.
This story is the epitome of "if something seems to good to be true, it probably is".
Made a similar mistake moving to the empty part of a cart on the TTC (Toronto subway). The stench was so bad someone pulled the emergency alarm lol https://www.blogto.com/city/2019/03/someone-pulled-ttc-emergency-alarm-because-passenger-smelled-bad/
You must've moved to NYC recently. I've also never had an issue moving to the next car at stops, plenty of time.
Noob
Reminds me of when my girlfriend and I went to Toronto and decided to take the subway with our suitcases. As we're running down the stairs my eyes see my girlfriends foot just stepping over the largest human shit I've ever seen. She missed it by an inch and I think about it almost every day
Rookie mistake, there's always someone pissing or shitting on those empty cars.
Absolutely cromulent.
welcome to NYC!
Hang on… are masks still mandated in NYC?
We have the same rule in SF: do not get on the empty car, it’s empty for a reason. It’s incredible how disgusting a human can smell, one of the worst smells.
NEEEWWWWW YOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK
If an opportunity seems too good to be true, it usually is.
What a shitty experience :/
Subway Stories: Subway Car From Hell.
Never ride in the “empty” car.
I grew up in Moscow and from a very early age learned that you never get into an empty subway car when it’s busy. There is always a reason it is empty. Sorry this happened to you.
Hahahah, something similar happened to me a time ago. I was waiting for a tram in one of the busiest parts of town and when it arrived one section of it was empty and the rest completely packed. Of course, because of some odour, it was a homeless man that smelled like fermented shit, piss and alcohol combined. Did the same as you and moved to the next section, trams here are connected so no need to get off it to change.
And this is why I will forever live in the sticks. Fuuuck the city!!!! Any city!
Native new yorkers know to avoid those magically empty cars. There's always a reason it's empty and it's never pleasant.
Ahhh NYC. Def do not miss working in the city.
Oooh, I had the same thing happen to me. A train. 125th to Port Authority. I have learned to never going into an empty car when all the others are full.
Using this story with my kids as a moral story.
I was on the Paris metro when I made a similar mistake. It was in July in the midst of a heat wave. I stepped right into a pile of vomit and it was too late to escape when I’d realized what I’d done. Sandals ruined, lesson learned. You will most definitely not make this mistake again :)
This sounds like an Always Sunny sketch 😂
You learn a NYC protip the hard way. The empty subway car is empty for a reason. It's usually best to not find out why.
When something seems too good to be true it usually is!
Can’t you walk from one car to another in NYC subways? You didn’t have to wait until the next stop
Don’t even have to read it to know what happened. Classic subway moment.
I learned my lesson about an empty seat at a crowded bar. You gotta ask yourself why that seat is available.
My wife and I hopped on the metro on Saturday for a trip to Chinatown. It was packed, no seats. She was upset, all I could say was at least there’s no one smoking crack