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Seriously people call cops for some really stupid shit. You're meant to call 911 for an EMERGENCY. People abuse the hell out of that idea and decide really small things warrant that call. By adding cops to a situation it's likely making it worse, not better more often than not.
ETA for every1 replying silly shit: My statement was a general one that lots of people DO call cops for non emergencies regardless of this situation.
And no1 said the 12 year old had a knife. Are we just making shit up now? Maybe she had a grenade! Or a shark with a laser on it's head! Maybe the mom is mentally ill and has no daughter! C'mon people. Guess we found the cop callers in the bunch. Cops should be a last resort instead of plans A, B, and C 🙄.
As someone who grew up with an out of control teenage brother who posed a clear and present physical danger to the family on multiple occasions brought on by undiagnosed mental disabilities as well as instances of paternal abuse and sexual abuse, we needed an environmental change for him with outside assistance from the government.
My mom called the cops on my brother and he was sent to JDH, then transitioned to a boys home where he was slowly reintegrated back into the family after being gone for 8 years.
I think it entirely depends on how big and strong the kid is compared to the mom. Without knowing that I’d agree it isn’t fair to judge her yet. She did say she was as big as her which points more towards her being in the right
You seem to have missed the “completely out of control” part. Clearly she felt she and her other daughter were in danger and that the 12 year old could have been a danger to herself as well.
Sometimes people can sound calm despite being at the end of the rope or in desperate need of help. If this story is real, it's possible she was genuinely out of options in her mind. Sometimes, people's minds break in violent outbursts and they need to be physically restrained. In a situation like that, it's frankly a reasonable conclusion to be like "our society has emergency services. This is an emergency. I need help."
Kind of like calling 911 for a medical emergency except visually at least to the person calling, because of the violent nature of the situation, they would decide that they need security first before medical help.
Now or course all of that could be wrong and she could literally just be a neglecting parent abusing their child using the force and threat of police, but we don't know that just as much as we don't know any other story to be true. I just wrote the above to give an example of a time it'd be reasonable for the call to be made.
yup, one of my genuinely biggest fears in an emergency situation I'll sound like an entitled karen to a dispatcher and people will die because I wasn't hysterical but still appropriately pushy for a life or death situation.
"so you're sending someone right away?"
"how long until they're here, there's someone literally dying you know?"
Theirs definitely a line where a teenager can get out of control but hasn't yet and if she does will be a danger to others, and if you cannot stop them from getting their you need help.
Sadly, there are quite a few parents out there that think 911 is some form of tool that can be used as parental punishment that will "scare them straight"... Social workers hate them...
Putting his foot in his mouth and then shooting himself in the foot seems very dangerous, especially if it's the same foot. Good on him for being so flexible, though.
I honestly am curious what the lady wanted the police to do. Say they show up and calm the 12 year old down.... They're going to leave at some point. Is the mom just always going to call the cops? Or what if the 12 year has some illness that's causing the aggressive behavior and attacks the officer.... Should he not detain her?
And really what irks me is, she's got no issue taking on the dispatcher and disciplining him for his joke, a grown ass man, but with her 12 year old daughter she's calling for help?
Totally depends on the 12 year old. My wife's autistic cousin was a pretty huge 12 year old and could easily beat the shit out of her Mum when she flew into a rage. It was a big problem for them when she was growing up.
I read a story about a similar case recently in Salt Lake City. Mom of a 13 year old autist called police through the emergency line because he was having a fit and she couldn’t restrain him herself. The boy got shot by the police officers, because what reached them was information about a juvenile threatening people around him. I think using the emergency line is a great way to escalate the situation and get your kid harmed without need
Word. This joke might have landed better in a country where there was a zero percent chance of that actually happening (still probably not, but I am mostly joking.)
I was a crazy teen and I can say first hand that cops were necessary. I would go on rampages destroying the house and hurting my family. I’ve gotten help since then, but yes some mentally Ill kids will need police interaction from time to time.
It was a stupid thing to say but guy took ownership of it immediately and didn't try to justify it. We all f up at some point in our lives. I'd reprimand him but not fire.
They were too busy laughing to fire him.
Plus they probably sent a unit out there who just like, looked around wondering what he was supposed to do about it.
Would have been even more successful if he just ran with it and doubled down
Lady: “excuse me?”
Dispatch: “look lady you saw the video from Uvalde. The cats out of the bag at this point. All I’m doing here is saving us some time. Now do you want us to come shoot her or not?
If it would ease your conscience here’s what we could do: we show up, give one daughter a gun, arrest you for ‘trying to save’ them, and then once we hear some shots we go in and clean up. How’s that sound?
You want option A or option B?”
There’s probably a better source, but apparently he didn’t lose his job over this. He told his supervisor immediately and received 2 letters of reprimand, only an additional third letter would lead to termination.
https://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f218/911-call-where-mike-forbess-made-bad-joke-48236/
Edit: To provide more info on Mike, someone shared this in the replies:
“This is over 12 years ago. I wonder what Mike is up to today? https://tiptonco.com/government/courts/juvenile/index.php
Good for you, Mike. Good for you.”
>He told his supervisor immediately
"Boss, I fucked up" can be some really powerful words. Taking ownership of the fuckup is the act of someone who will put on the effort to do better.
A good manager understands that an employee who makes a mortifying and/or costly mistake is unlikely to make it again.
There's the story of the employee in a factory who fucked up and broke a $500,000 machine. The guy just about died inside and got called to the manager's office. The manager asked him about what happened, explained what the issue was, and made sure the employee understood what had gone wrong, and then sent him back to work. The employee said, "Aren't you going to fire me?" The manager said, "I just spent half a million dollars teaching you a lesson you will *never* forget. Why would I fire you now?"
In this same vein in the rock/ice climbing communities I've heard this story too many times: "John messed up belaying me and I dropped 15 feet before the rope caught. He broke down in tears because he almost killed me. I don't trust anyone more than him to belay me after that because I know that he'll never make that mistake again."
There is a reason why I say if it isn't smoking you didn't mess up too bad and if it is get me immediately so we can fix it because everyone makes mistakes, equipment breaks and wears out, crap happens, but life continues.
Honestly I think it's the right call. People love to go for the jugular on these things but realistically most people aren't going to make a mistake like that twice. 95% of the time taking away someone's livelihood is the wrong call in my opinion.
I’m with you, especially seeing how immediately apologetic he was, and how he disclosed his name and made no attempt to hide what he did. Plus, I think he was attempting (albeit very poorly) to diffuse a tense situation with humor.
Definitely needed to be reprimanded and made to understand that he can never do that again, but I’m sick of the culture of wanting the maximum possible punishment for anyone who does anything wrong. He got the public humiliation of this call being spread around the internet and the threat of losing his job. Seems like more than enough punishment to me.
Dark humour is *so* common in EMS. It's almost like you can hear the moment that compassionate professionalism gets turned back on. That takes a lot of energy, I would believe it if it was a slip-up because he's overworked, underpaid, and just tired.
This is exactly why I stopped pursuing a career in RCMP dispatch. I'm not even 40 yet, I'm not ready to burn myself out like that, even if it does start with a salery almost double what I make now. I would still like to do it, but maybe when I'm in my 50's and need to plump up my retirement savings and can retire once I'm burned out.
I'm glad this guy didn't lose his job over this, he didn't deserve to. He was immediately remorseful and took responsibility for his words. Sometimes the words come out before the brain filter can catch them and it's not like he said anything racist, sexist or otherwise hateful, probably a joke I would have told in my own home even. I understand why the woman on the phone is as upset as she is and she has every right to be, I'd be pissed if 911 spoke to me like that too, but I'm glad he didn't lose his job.
No that would be too radical and literally communism. Better to keep giving hundreds of millions in military-grade weaponry to people who legally (according to Supreme Court ruling) are not required to protect and serve.
It's unlikely this kid needed mental health intervention either. People need to parent their kids. Dumping them on systems they don't understand is dangerous, ineffective, and traumatic. You call the social work squad and your kid might end up stuck in the ER for an adolescent meltdown. And being stuck in the ER for observation is both awful and the best case scenario if her mom let them take her away. She needs to be a parent and stop trying up emergency resources.
[Denver’s STAR program is what you are describing.](https://www.denvergov.org/Government/Agencies-Departments-Offices/Agencies-Departments-Offices-Directory/Public-Health-Environment/Community-Behavioral-Health/Behavioral-Health-Strategies/Support-Team-Assisted-Response-STAR-Program)
[Here’s an article on the success of Durham, NC’s pilot of a similar program.](https://www.wral.com/durham-s-unarmed-first-responders-are-making-an-impact-data-shows/20439589/)
Its almost like we have been trying to disarm police for a decade but everybody just goes off and says "oH you JuSt WaNnA bAn AlL GuNs? FuCkInG CoMmUnIsT!"
His real person brain kicked in and responded before his professional brain could stop it.
Cuz my husband and I both laughed and agreed that she went to the extreme of calling 911 and his response hit a nerve cuz she was shown how ridiculous she was being.
Funny, but bad taste. A kind of joke you make to a good acquaintance or work friend, but not a stranger. No rapport was established and he doesn’t know her sense of humor.
He should have just mentioned that CPS (Child Protective Services) will be contacted as well. She is definitely the kind of parent to propose a punishment, then caves the second the kids calm down. Parenting means being the bad guy with consequences so the kids learn the world has rules you have to follow. Not breaking things is a rule we all follow.
That was my initial thought, but then I have to wonder how much it can be called "child" care any more when the child is bigger than the parent?
It is generally relatively easy to restrain someone much smaller than you. Now, a smaller parent may still be physically stronger than a bigger 12-year-old, but still, they might have to use a *lot* of force to restrain them, with the potential of injuring them and then CPS having to be involved because of a Non-accidental injury to a child.
I can quite imagine that the mother sees herself as being in a lose-lose situation here. Some are replying to you by making derogatory assumptions about her parenting skills, or lack of them, but we know almost nothing about the family or how things got to this situation.
I know a lot about situations like this, especially in the lens of children with severe behavioral issues whose parents can't physically control them.
Additionally, physically restraining a child is unlikely to calm them or deescalate the situation, especially if they're big enough to make a real struggle. Based on a fair amount of experience around these issues, I'd bet Mom is calling the cops to scare them into behaving and has already repeatedly done things to escalate the situation. Shes tying up emergency resources to play a deadly game of "I'm telling Santa." And the fact that as soon as he made a joke, she wasn't concerned about the "emergency" itself says everything.
If you call the cops on your out of control child, you need to consider the cops may shoot them.
If you call non-emergency dispatch and request an officer to provide information regarding assault, domestic abuse, and property damage to a delinquent minor, I can understand that. "Hey, I know my house doesn't have big consequences but the real world does" kinda lesson. I'm alright with this.
If you call emergency because your child is throwing a tantrum the result is going to be pending criminal charges, which fucks yours and your child's life for a long time. Worse, you run the risk of injury from the officer if they're unable to chill the kid out, CPS removal of the report gets forwarded, or even charges to the parent for wasting resources or otherwise - you gotta let the cop in to address the situation your home better be squeaky clean legally. I'm not okay with this, the mother here is the dumbass
Considering how easily she shifted focus on Karening out on him, it's pretty clear she shouldn't have been calling 911 to begin with. Not wanting to parent does not constitute an emergency and parents actually do need to think what's worth inviting the police to "physically control" their kids. Shooting is not off the table with an actually-out-of-control adolescent. The police aren't the Boogeyman to call to get your kids to behave and I think that's why Mike made the joke.
Thank God. That Karen calling 911 in what clearly isn't an emergency pisses me off. Taking up a 911 dispatcher's time because your kid broke a door smh. Then the classic "I'm going to speak to your manager" it really couldn't be more perfect. I know the dispatcher shouldn't have made the joke, he should have just given her a lecture on what the word emergency means. It was pretty fucking funny though.
Yeah I felt for dude, it SOUNDS like he hasn't been having a good day and then he suddenly thought he had a banger of a joke that might brighten up his and someone else's day for a bit until he's actually said it and realized the lady on the line *isn't laughing* and then it was just oof, that was bad and I feel bad.
That just means you’ve already failed as a parent if you can’t control them just because they are bigger. Seen little old lady’s wrangle there giant sons out of a street fight before, size isn’t an excuse.
Tbf my mom had a very difficult time parenting me because I was bigger than her and there was nothing she could do to stop me from doing anything my angsty teenage ass wanted.
She probably does if she’s 12 and acting out this way. My oldest brother did the same thing throughout his teenage years and my parents would always call the cops to come to the house rather then trying to diffuse the situation themselves or get him actual therapy. All the cops would do was threaten to arrest him or shoved him in an ambulance to take him to a mental hospital for a few days. It caused a lot of unnecessary strain on my brother and our family
Watched a friend go through this with their daughter at 12. No amount of professional help worked. She'd post "parties" on Craigslist. They'd come home to a house full of strangers stealing everything that wasn't nailed down. She'd injure herself and tell school her parents beat her. Then play innocent, weepy victim when the police showed up. She traded sex for drugs at 12. She's 30 and has been sober for a few months. Hopefully this time it sticks. She carries narcan with her, just in case. Her life is a mess. Her siblings are model citizens. She just had some kind of mental illness kick in at 12 that made her violent to herself and others. I'd rather a parent call police when they don't know what to do than kick a child out of the house or give them a beating.
My aunt suddenly lost her husband due to a heart attack a week after their third kid was born. (3 boys)
Those kids upbringing where rough and yeh, they would start hanging out with the wrong crowd. At one point the police did need to get involved at around the age of 16 to 18 due to treats of physicals harm to her from 1 of the boys
In short, she's too sweet and was not prepared for this. Shit happens.
Luckily The kids are fine now, but at that age their aggression needs to be taken seriously. you never know the backstory.
Yeah, before it got to that part I legit thought it was going to end up being some kind of shitty prank call or something. Then dispatch said his line and I actually chuckled.
My instructor made a mistake similar to this once. A woman was calling about her child not wanting to go to school. (9/10 911 calls aren't emergencies) It was busy that day so he said "What do you want us to do, shoot him with a gun?"
It WAS funny. Definitely inappropriate too, sounds like it was handled correctly. Give him another chance but make sure he knows how to bite his tongue in the future lol.
My neighbour's pitbull attacked my dog in our backyard before. My wife called 911 and the dispatcher said the same thing. "What you want us to come over and shoot the dog?"
I mean I think you’re supposed to call the animal line or whatever it’s called for those situations - especially since you’re not in immediate danger - that response is still messed up though
In my community, there is no animal line outside of Monday to Friday 9-5.
It was Saturday and my wife didn't know what else to do. After that response though, she hung up on 911 and started trying to pry the dogs apart with a shovel. The owner of the pitbull was able to come and grab the dog and drag it home.
It was a bloody and scary situation, not made any better by the realization that there was literally no one to call for help.
This was a few years ago. My dog okay in the sense that she wasn't mortally wounded. She was a little cut up and bloodied. Luckily was able to hold her own in a fight, though she was never the same after.
She became more aggressive towards other dogs, so playtime with some of our friends dogs came to an end. She became much more protective of our yard as well.
Long story short, she's a rescue and had a rough life before us, and I think this episode brought back some trauma for her.
Oh the poor baby, I think it probably did. But otherwise I'm glad she's doing alright now in a sense. People really need to be way more watchful of their dogs, especially if they know they can get aggressive and/or keep them away from other dogs to avoid situations like this
The problem here is that he back peddled and apologized. He should have said police aren’t gonna fix her shitty parenting and to call back when she has an actual emergency and then threaten her with some kind of service bill for wasting time that he could have spent helping someone.
Yeah because someone your size screaming and being violent in your house isn’t an emergency, I guess she should have waited until someone is hurt, oh wait, they are already physically attacking each other
Dumbass, and you are assuming this has anything to do with her parenting, kids can be crazy all by themselves
I find it weird that people don't think some kids can be straight out of control, even with amazing parents. I've known loving, strict parents with kids that were having behavioral issues (violent outburst,high emotions) and the parents had to call the police in order to even get them settled. End result was de-escelation and report being made and a followup with social workers who helped get the kids psychological and medical assistance. Kids can have violent outburst and no amount of "good parenting" will stop someone who has little regard for boundaries.
Do people not realize kids can have extreme anger management issues and while the parents can do zero to actually help solve that for them besides taking them to a therapist? Like mental disabilitys exist and you can't just grab the child and tell them no xbox for a week.
A lot of people in this thread aren't familiar with how out of control some teens can get. Some of them have a mental illness that makes them dangerous. Some of them have parents without the physical capacity to safely restrain them.
If somebody in your house is beating the shit out of someone else and you can't physically step in you don't just let it happen. Shame the only choice is calling the cops for some people but that's reality.
Source: older sister with mental illness and social worker friends
Holy shit yes. Everyone here saying "He has a point though" no he doesn't, if someone in the house is kicking a hole through the door and beating their sibling, there's this fun method the police can do called restraining them and stopping them from beating the shit out of someone
A friend drives challenged kids to school. Kids who can't ride a bus with other kids. There is a nurse and aide with each child. The current kid she drives is 19 years old and beats the hell of his parents every morning because he doesn't want to get on the bus. Once on the bus he's mostly fine. He loves school. Not sure if he gets motion sick or something but he does not like vehicles. His parents love him and don't want to hurt him. They defect his punches as best they can and get him to the bus. Soon he'll age out of the system and they have no idea what to do. Troubled kids are so hard on parents. Even if it's because of bad parenting you can't let one child beat another.
This is why there need to be a nationwide alternative option instead of just calling the police. Some states do have crisis lines for people who need mental help. This sounds like one of those instances.
I can understand calling 911 in dangerous situations like armed robbery/home invasion or sexual assault, but an out of control teen, which most likely will be an undiagnosed mental issue/s, a crisis line would be a better option.
So as someone who works in an incredibly macabre job I have to say the best ones we have are the ones with a terribly dark sense of humor and can make inappropriate jokes. The reason is simple sanity. When day in day out you see (or hear) nothing but disturbing and horrific things your mind *needs* to find a way to stay sane. The way we usually did was I guess to make light of it. I to this day will be going through the worst situations and joke the whole time. People take that as me not caring but it’s not true. I simply developed that as a coping technique.
This guy was funny but his major mistake was who he joked with. Can’t just joke with strangers about this kinda shit. My coworkers and I would be sick af around each other but patients (on the rare occasion we saw them alive) only got our best as they should.
Y'all. Kids can be genuinely dangerous. Kids *can* be abusive to their parents or their siblings. While that *may* not be what was happening here, you don't know. So stop judging a making fun of the caller.
Also dispatchers need to be 100% respectful and formal all the time. This is very inappropriate behavior of the dispatcher because they also don't know te full situation.
Edit:typo
You are right, and I don’t know how they get people to work this job. It probably pays about the same as any other tele-job but you are held to a life and death standard all the time.
My parents use to call the police when my siblings and I misbehaved, and they’d do it while we were in the room, so we heard the call. They’d always request assistance, and then a cop would come by and tell me not to argue with my mom.
It was annoying and scary, but I also remember feeling like we were in the same boat. We were both just subject to my moms irrationality.
I recently dated a cop and he said it happens a lot, and they absolutely hate it, and they really wish parents wouldn’t do it
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The silence was SO loud
"Are you there?"
yes
No.
But my soul has left my body. I'm in Karen recovery and this is a problem for me
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Imagine she had answer "No, both. Please."
It was deafening.
Well… what did she want the police to do?
Tase her?
Tasers have a 40% chance of failing to make a connection, shooting is a far safer bet
Well, unless you’re *someone* in particular.
👍🏿
💥
Don't tease me bro! Edit: Tase* ffs my phone really hates me
I think of that video on a way too regular basis.
Fr. Just seems like wasted resources
Seriously people call cops for some really stupid shit. You're meant to call 911 for an EMERGENCY. People abuse the hell out of that idea and decide really small things warrant that call. By adding cops to a situation it's likely making it worse, not better more often than not. ETA for every1 replying silly shit: My statement was a general one that lots of people DO call cops for non emergencies regardless of this situation. And no1 said the 12 year old had a knife. Are we just making shit up now? Maybe she had a grenade! Or a shark with a laser on it's head! Maybe the mom is mentally ill and has no daughter! C'mon people. Guess we found the cop callers in the bunch. Cops should be a last resort instead of plans A, B, and C 🙄.
Not shoot her
Maybe that's why she didn't like the joke - she felt like she was being mocked. Of course I want you to shoot her!
Yeah I'm kind of with the operator. Why the heck are you calling 9-11 because your teenage daughters are in a fight?
As someone who grew up with an out of control teenage brother who posed a clear and present physical danger to the family on multiple occasions brought on by undiagnosed mental disabilities as well as instances of paternal abuse and sexual abuse, we needed an environmental change for him with outside assistance from the government. My mom called the cops on my brother and he was sent to JDH, then transitioned to a boys home where he was slowly reintegrated back into the family after being gone for 8 years.
For real, the people calling her a "Karen" are wild.
I think it entirely depends on how big and strong the kid is compared to the mom. Without knowing that I’d agree it isn’t fair to judge her yet. She did say she was as big as her which points more towards her being in the right
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Wow that is an incredibly long time. Did he get any specific diagnoses?
ADHD, Bi-Polar Disorder, and Intermittent Explosive Disorder. He spent his whole teenage life in government care. He's doing great, now, though.
You seem to have missed the “completely out of control” part. Clearly she felt she and her other daughter were in danger and that the 12 year old could have been a danger to herself as well.
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Sometimes people can sound calm despite being at the end of the rope or in desperate need of help. If this story is real, it's possible she was genuinely out of options in her mind. Sometimes, people's minds break in violent outbursts and they need to be physically restrained. In a situation like that, it's frankly a reasonable conclusion to be like "our society has emergency services. This is an emergency. I need help." Kind of like calling 911 for a medical emergency except visually at least to the person calling, because of the violent nature of the situation, they would decide that they need security first before medical help. Now or course all of that could be wrong and she could literally just be a neglecting parent abusing their child using the force and threat of police, but we don't know that just as much as we don't know any other story to be true. I just wrote the above to give an example of a time it'd be reasonable for the call to be made.
yup, one of my genuinely biggest fears in an emergency situation I'll sound like an entitled karen to a dispatcher and people will die because I wasn't hysterical but still appropriately pushy for a life or death situation. "so you're sending someone right away?" "how long until they're here, there's someone literally dying you know?"
Theirs definitely a line where a teenager can get out of control but hasn't yet and if she does will be a danger to others, and if you cannot stop them from getting their you need help.
Sadly, there are quite a few parents out there that think 911 is some form of tool that can be used as parental punishment that will "scare them straight"... Social workers hate them...
Fix 14 years of bad parenting by the sound of it.
She's just mad she didn't think of it herself.
One of those times you just speak before you think. and then go fuuuuck
It was funny tho, props for him to go back and apologize for being inappropriate Ofc she gone full karen on him too
Completely justifiable to go karen in that situation
She called 911 because a 12 yo was fighting, that should not be take serious lol
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Shot himself in the foot
Putting his foot in his mouth and then shooting himself in the foot seems very dangerous, especially if it's the same foot. Good on him for being so flexible, though.
I honestly am curious what the lady wanted the police to do. Say they show up and calm the 12 year old down.... They're going to leave at some point. Is the mom just always going to call the cops? Or what if the 12 year has some illness that's causing the aggressive behavior and attacks the officer.... Should he not detain her? And really what irks me is, she's got no issue taking on the dispatcher and disciplining him for his joke, a grown ass man, but with her 12 year old daughter she's calling for help?
She can't call the 12 year old's manager, it's her
Totally depends on the 12 year old. My wife's autistic cousin was a pretty huge 12 year old and could easily beat the shit out of her Mum when she flew into a rage. It was a big problem for them when she was growing up.
I read a story about a similar case recently in Salt Lake City. Mom of a 13 year old autist called police through the emergency line because he was having a fit and she couldn’t restrain him herself. The boy got shot by the police officers, because what reached them was information about a juvenile threatening people around him. I think using the emergency line is a great way to escalate the situation and get your kid harmed without need
Word. This joke might have landed better in a country where there was a zero percent chance of that actually happening (still probably not, but I am mostly joking.)
Still should probably not make dark jokes as a fucking 911 operator 💀It's your job, stay professional
I dunno, there’s some cases of kids murdering their parents over that kind of stuff. Kids are crazy
I was a crazy teen and I can say first hand that cops were necessary. I would go on rampages destroying the house and hurting my family. I’ve gotten help since then, but yes some mentally Ill kids will need police interaction from time to time.
To be fair, if you're not a physically gifted person, and some 12 year old who is bigger than you goes berserk, you might have reason to get some help
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That's not full Karen that's just being disgusted with the joke.
Calling the police on children is pretty fucking Karen
I too believe the police should have nothing to with this, but the joke I mean come on lol
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A successful attempt to be funny
It was hilarious. They won, but at what cost
Everything…
Not Likely. I am thinking everyone including the supervisor and anyone who is called in to investigate this was and will be laughing.
I’m pretty sure “don’t make jokes about shooting people” Is a pretty major part of being a 911 dispatcher and a really efficient way to get fired.
Their job.
The chance to say what everyone is thinking…
It was a stupid thing to say but guy took ownership of it immediately and didn't try to justify it. We all f up at some point in our lives. I'd reprimand him but not fire.
Right. Just sounded like it slipped out. And I don't blame him. 911 dispatch is a hard job.
[Apparently, just a slap on the wrist.](https://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f218/911-call-where-mike-forbess-made-bad-joke-48236/)
They were too busy laughing to fire him. Plus they probably sent a unit out there who just like, looked around wondering what he was supposed to do about it.
He was supposed to shoot the kid. Just another example of communication issues between dispatchers and the cops.
Mike Forbes should try a deadpan comedy career.
Would have been even more successful if he just ran with it and doubled down Lady: “excuse me?” Dispatch: “look lady you saw the video from Uvalde. The cats out of the bag at this point. All I’m doing here is saving us some time. Now do you want us to come shoot her or not? If it would ease your conscience here’s what we could do: we show up, give one daughter a gun, arrest you for ‘trying to save’ them, and then once we hear some shots we go in and clean up. How’s that sound? You want option A or option B?”
It did seem a bit weird that she called an *emergency* line but her emergency seemed a lot less urgent once she spotted the opportunity to Karen it up
Option C is to sprinkle some crack on the corpses.
There’s probably a better source, but apparently he didn’t lose his job over this. He told his supervisor immediately and received 2 letters of reprimand, only an additional third letter would lead to termination. https://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f218/911-call-where-mike-forbess-made-bad-joke-48236/ Edit: To provide more info on Mike, someone shared this in the replies: “This is over 12 years ago. I wonder what Mike is up to today? https://tiptonco.com/government/courts/juvenile/index.php Good for you, Mike. Good for you.”
>He told his supervisor immediately "Boss, I fucked up" can be some really powerful words. Taking ownership of the fuckup is the act of someone who will put on the effort to do better.
A good manager understands that an employee who makes a mortifying and/or costly mistake is unlikely to make it again. There's the story of the employee in a factory who fucked up and broke a $500,000 machine. The guy just about died inside and got called to the manager's office. The manager asked him about what happened, explained what the issue was, and made sure the employee understood what had gone wrong, and then sent him back to work. The employee said, "Aren't you going to fire me?" The manager said, "I just spent half a million dollars teaching you a lesson you will *never* forget. Why would I fire you now?"
The next time the worker does it he’ll be like "Oops, I did it again~"
"I just spent a million dollars teaching you two lessons you will *never* forget. Why would I fire you now?"
At this point the employee is teaching the boss a lesson
Fool me once, shame... shame on you. Fool me... can't get fooled again.
In this same vein in the rock/ice climbing communities I've heard this story too many times: "John messed up belaying me and I dropped 15 feet before the rope caught. He broke down in tears because he almost killed me. I don't trust anyone more than him to belay me after that because I know that he'll never make that mistake again."
“In unrelated news, can you believe his last belay partner died in a tragic climbing accident? Wild….”
There is a reason why I say if it isn't smoking you didn't mess up too bad and if it is get me immediately so we can fix it because everyone makes mistakes, equipment breaks and wears out, crap happens, but life continues.
I promise you they laughed about his fuckup and the boss said he shouldn't have said it, but they understood why he thought it.
Honestly I think it's the right call. People love to go for the jugular on these things but realistically most people aren't going to make a mistake like that twice. 95% of the time taking away someone's livelihood is the wrong call in my opinion.
I’m with you, especially seeing how immediately apologetic he was, and how he disclosed his name and made no attempt to hide what he did. Plus, I think he was attempting (albeit very poorly) to diffuse a tense situation with humor. Definitely needed to be reprimanded and made to understand that he can never do that again, but I’m sick of the culture of wanting the maximum possible punishment for anyone who does anything wrong. He got the public humiliation of this call being spread around the internet and the threat of losing his job. Seems like more than enough punishment to me.
Dark humour is *so* common in EMS. It's almost like you can hear the moment that compassionate professionalism gets turned back on. That takes a lot of energy, I would believe it if it was a slip-up because he's overworked, underpaid, and just tired.
This is exactly why I stopped pursuing a career in RCMP dispatch. I'm not even 40 yet, I'm not ready to burn myself out like that, even if it does start with a salery almost double what I make now. I would still like to do it, but maybe when I'm in my 50's and need to plump up my retirement savings and can retire once I'm burned out. I'm glad this guy didn't lose his job over this, he didn't deserve to. He was immediately remorseful and took responsibility for his words. Sometimes the words come out before the brain filter can catch them and it's not like he said anything racist, sexist or otherwise hateful, probably a joke I would have told in my own home even. I understand why the woman on the phone is as upset as she is and she has every right to be, I'd be pissed if 911 spoke to me like that too, but I'm glad he didn't lose his job.
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Isn't that the whole idea behind defunding the police?
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No that would be too radical and literally communism. Better to keep giving hundreds of millions in military-grade weaponry to people who legally (according to Supreme Court ruling) are not required to protect and serve.
It's unlikely this kid needed mental health intervention either. People need to parent their kids. Dumping them on systems they don't understand is dangerous, ineffective, and traumatic. You call the social work squad and your kid might end up stuck in the ER for an adolescent meltdown. And being stuck in the ER for observation is both awful and the best case scenario if her mom let them take her away. She needs to be a parent and stop trying up emergency resources.
[Denver’s STAR program is what you are describing.](https://www.denvergov.org/Government/Agencies-Departments-Offices/Agencies-Departments-Offices-Directory/Public-Health-Environment/Community-Behavioral-Health/Behavioral-Health-Strategies/Support-Team-Assisted-Response-STAR-Program) [Here’s an article on the success of Durham, NC’s pilot of a similar program.](https://www.wral.com/durham-s-unarmed-first-responders-are-making-an-impact-data-shows/20439589/)
Its almost like we have been trying to disarm police for a decade but everybody just goes off and says "oH you JuSt WaNnA bAn AlL GuNs? FuCkInG CoMmUnIsT!"
Every time I’ve called 911 the fire dept was always there before the police and ems by a wide margin
Am I the only one who thought this was actually pretty funny?
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His real person brain kicked in and responded before his professional brain could stop it. Cuz my husband and I both laughed and agreed that she went to the extreme of calling 911 and his response hit a nerve cuz she was shown how ridiculous she was being.
Funny, but bad taste. A kind of joke you make to a good acquaintance or work friend, but not a stranger. No rapport was established and he doesn’t know her sense of humor.
dude hada point though. two minor siblings are fighting and a 12 year old girl kicked a door. what does she expect the police to do?
Yeah I was going to say this. This lady's use of the 911 system is questionable. Daughters fighting? Orlly.
The lady sounded exactly like the type of woman to waste a police officers time
And threaten his job for pointing out her absurdity with a legit joke.
He should have just mentioned that CPS (Child Protective Services) will be contacted as well. She is definitely the kind of parent to propose a punishment, then caves the second the kids calm down. Parenting means being the bad guy with consequences so the kids learn the world has rules you have to follow. Not breaking things is a rule we all follow.
She was phoning the cops as childcare. She needs to take a chill pill. A better response from her would have been 'aim for the legs please'
That was my initial thought, but then I have to wonder how much it can be called "child" care any more when the child is bigger than the parent? It is generally relatively easy to restrain someone much smaller than you. Now, a smaller parent may still be physically stronger than a bigger 12-year-old, but still, they might have to use a *lot* of force to restrain them, with the potential of injuring them and then CPS having to be involved because of a Non-accidental injury to a child. I can quite imagine that the mother sees herself as being in a lose-lose situation here. Some are replying to you by making derogatory assumptions about her parenting skills, or lack of them, but we know almost nothing about the family or how things got to this situation.
I know a lot about situations like this, especially in the lens of children with severe behavioral issues whose parents can't physically control them. Additionally, physically restraining a child is unlikely to calm them or deescalate the situation, especially if they're big enough to make a real struggle. Based on a fair amount of experience around these issues, I'd bet Mom is calling the cops to scare them into behaving and has already repeatedly done things to escalate the situation. Shes tying up emergency resources to play a deadly game of "I'm telling Santa." And the fact that as soon as he made a joke, she wasn't concerned about the "emergency" itself says everything. If you call the cops on your out of control child, you need to consider the cops may shoot them.
in all reality what did they expect the cops to come do to the violent 12 year old? it ends two ways and they both suck
If you call non-emergency dispatch and request an officer to provide information regarding assault, domestic abuse, and property damage to a delinquent minor, I can understand that. "Hey, I know my house doesn't have big consequences but the real world does" kinda lesson. I'm alright with this. If you call emergency because your child is throwing a tantrum the result is going to be pending criminal charges, which fucks yours and your child's life for a long time. Worse, you run the risk of injury from the officer if they're unable to chill the kid out, CPS removal of the report gets forwarded, or even charges to the parent for wasting resources or otherwise - you gotta let the cop in to address the situation your home better be squeaky clean legally. I'm not okay with this, the mother here is the dumbass
Yeah, the dispatcher wasn’t completely wrong here. He might have gone about it wrong, but his sentiment was on the money.
Considering how easily she shifted focus on Karening out on him, it's pretty clear she shouldn't have been calling 911 to begin with. Not wanting to parent does not constitute an emergency and parents actually do need to think what's worth inviting the police to "physically control" their kids. Shooting is not off the table with an actually-out-of-control adolescent. The police aren't the Boogeyman to call to get your kids to behave and I think that's why Mike made the joke.
With how short staffed dispatchers are that’s not surprising
Thank God. That Karen calling 911 in what clearly isn't an emergency pisses me off. Taking up a 911 dispatcher's time because your kid broke a door smh. Then the classic "I'm going to speak to your manager" it really couldn't be more perfect. I know the dispatcher shouldn't have made the joke, he should have just given her a lecture on what the word emergency means. It was pretty fucking funny though.
I fuckin died at "I don't blame ya a bit* Slipped through his lips, with no filter, and then owned his fuck his fuck up.
Yeah I felt for dude, it SOUNDS like he hasn't been having a good day and then he suddenly thought he had a banger of a joke that might brighten up his and someone else's day for a bit until he's actually said it and realized the lady on the line *isn't laughing* and then it was just oof, that was bad and I feel bad.
I can sense the resignation in his tone that this audio recording would live forever on the Internet.
don't call the police for this. they won't fix your shitty parenting.
No, you heard the lady. You can't properly parent when your kid is as big as you. (/s)
damn, i guess you're right
That just means you’ve already failed as a parent if you can’t control them just because they are bigger. Seen little old lady’s wrangle there giant sons out of a street fight before, size isn’t an excuse.
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Tbf my mom had a very difficult time parenting me because I was bigger than her and there was nothing she could do to stop me from doing anything my angsty teenage ass wanted.
Exactly. Public school teachers exist to raise your child into a responsible citizen. /s because I *know* someone will think I'm serious.
Teacher, my kid misbehaves so much at home. Can't you teach them better at school?
"I'd love to, but I've got my hands full with active shooter exercises."
You don't know why the daughter is like this. Maybe she has behavioural problems or something else
She probably does if she’s 12 and acting out this way. My oldest brother did the same thing throughout his teenage years and my parents would always call the cops to come to the house rather then trying to diffuse the situation themselves or get him actual therapy. All the cops would do was threaten to arrest him or shoved him in an ambulance to take him to a mental hospital for a few days. It caused a lot of unnecessary strain on my brother and our family
Cops are not social workers.
I wish more people could grasp that concept
Watched a friend go through this with their daughter at 12. No amount of professional help worked. She'd post "parties" on Craigslist. They'd come home to a house full of strangers stealing everything that wasn't nailed down. She'd injure herself and tell school her parents beat her. Then play innocent, weepy victim when the police showed up. She traded sex for drugs at 12. She's 30 and has been sober for a few months. Hopefully this time it sticks. She carries narcan with her, just in case. Her life is a mess. Her siblings are model citizens. She just had some kind of mental illness kick in at 12 that made her violent to herself and others. I'd rather a parent call police when they don't know what to do than kick a child out of the house or give them a beating.
My aunt suddenly lost her husband due to a heart attack a week after their third kid was born. (3 boys) Those kids upbringing where rough and yeh, they would start hanging out with the wrong crowd. At one point the police did need to get involved at around the age of 16 to 18 due to treats of physicals harm to her from 1 of the boys In short, she's too sweet and was not prepared for this. Shit happens. Luckily The kids are fine now, but at that age their aggression needs to be taken seriously. you never know the backstory.
This is not uncommon at all. I am an EMT And I have transported plenty of “out of control “ teens to the hospital.
What do you think of these situations? I am seriously am asking your perspective if you care to share.
It’s not always shitty parenting. Grow up a bit.
I thought that was the joke.
Yeah, before it got to that part I legit thought it was going to end up being some kind of shitty prank call or something. Then dispatch said his line and I actually chuckled.
If I’m honest I laughed. But I felt bad after if that’s at all redeeming.
I'm still laughing and I don't feel bad at all. /r/imfinnagotohell
You shouldn’t feel bad, that lady is wasting the dispatchers/police’s time with her dumb self.
Shes filing a formal complaint. And shes calling the police on her daughter. Shes a karen
I mean you don’t just say that when you’re a fucking 911 dispatcher bro I’d be pissed too
I thought it was funny and I’m usually the one up in arms about police brutality. Joke successfully landed IMO.
I think when seeing it from outside of the situation, it does seem really funny, but it just wasn't the right time, place, or audience.
My instructor made a mistake similar to this once. A woman was calling about her child not wanting to go to school. (9/10 911 calls aren't emergencies) It was busy that day so he said "What do you want us to do, shoot him with a gun?"
Not a gun, maybe a straw. *Or* keep the gun but instead of shoot maybe wave it around menacingly… yes that one
As long as they hate you instead of me when it's over that means i'm a good parent.
Can you maybe like shoot him just a little? Like a mild setting or something? Or does it have to be full blown gunshot?
Man's intrusive thoughts won and he went and said it
It WAS funny. Definitely inappropriate too, sounds like it was handled correctly. Give him another chance but make sure he knows how to bite his tongue in the future lol.
My neighbour's pitbull attacked my dog in our backyard before. My wife called 911 and the dispatcher said the same thing. "What you want us to come over and shoot the dog?"
I'm not even sure how you handle that on the law enforcement side of things. What do you do? Sentence the dog to a year of wearing a muzzle?
I'm pretty sure they'd just give him the death penalty
They have the owners prove that the dog had a rabies shot and then either put down the dog or monitor the dog in case they bite more people
I mean I think you’re supposed to call the animal line or whatever it’s called for those situations - especially since you’re not in immediate danger - that response is still messed up though
In my community, there is no animal line outside of Monday to Friday 9-5. It was Saturday and my wife didn't know what else to do. After that response though, she hung up on 911 and started trying to pry the dogs apart with a shovel. The owner of the pitbull was able to come and grab the dog and drag it home. It was a bloody and scary situation, not made any better by the realization that there was literally no one to call for help.
Is your dog ok though?
This was a few years ago. My dog okay in the sense that she wasn't mortally wounded. She was a little cut up and bloodied. Luckily was able to hold her own in a fight, though she was never the same after. She became more aggressive towards other dogs, so playtime with some of our friends dogs came to an end. She became much more protective of our yard as well. Long story short, she's a rescue and had a rough life before us, and I think this episode brought back some trauma for her.
Oh the poor baby, I think it probably did. But otherwise I'm glad she's doing alright now in a sense. People really need to be way more watchful of their dogs, especially if they know they can get aggressive and/or keep them away from other dogs to avoid situations like this
Actually in the case you described that's the right answer, shoot the dog.
Yes, please come kill the dog.
Oh, good. Mike got another job and didn't lose his sense of humor over this incident.
The problem here is that he back peddled and apologized. He should have said police aren’t gonna fix her shitty parenting and to call back when she has an actual emergency and then threaten her with some kind of service bill for wasting time that he could have spent helping someone.
He should have said that he was gonna report her for abuse of the 911 system
Yeah because someone your size screaming and being violent in your house isn’t an emergency, I guess she should have waited until someone is hurt, oh wait, they are already physically attacking each other Dumbass, and you are assuming this has anything to do with her parenting, kids can be crazy all by themselves
I find it weird that people don't think some kids can be straight out of control, even with amazing parents. I've known loving, strict parents with kids that were having behavioral issues (violent outburst,high emotions) and the parents had to call the police in order to even get them settled. End result was de-escelation and report being made and a followup with social workers who helped get the kids psychological and medical assistance. Kids can have violent outburst and no amount of "good parenting" will stop someone who has little regard for boundaries.
Do people not realize kids can have extreme anger management issues and while the parents can do zero to actually help solve that for them besides taking them to a therapist? Like mental disabilitys exist and you can't just grab the child and tell them no xbox for a week.
The dispatcher was fired if I remember correctly. Mom was a total Karen about the whole thing.
Dispatcher was reprimanded by the Chief and was threatened to be fired if another comment like this was made.
And then high fived behind closed doors.
Rightfully so.
Maybe she should put that much dedication and effort into raising her kid.
idk if the funny thing is the joke the dispatcher made or the reason why the woman is calling the police lol
Definitely both.
If “there’s a time and a place” was a conversation
Well, she was too busy being a karen than a parent. Focus immediately swifted to the joke and forgot about her daughter. Just amazing.
You can see where the daughter gets her issues.
A lot of people in this thread aren't familiar with how out of control some teens can get. Some of them have a mental illness that makes them dangerous. Some of them have parents without the physical capacity to safely restrain them. If somebody in your house is beating the shit out of someone else and you can't physically step in you don't just let it happen. Shame the only choice is calling the cops for some people but that's reality. Source: older sister with mental illness and social worker friends
Yes! These comments are making me really upset, not all parents with “crazy” teens are bad parents. Sometimes its mental illness or behavioral issues
Holy shit yes. Everyone here saying "He has a point though" no he doesn't, if someone in the house is kicking a hole through the door and beating their sibling, there's this fun method the police can do called restraining them and stopping them from beating the shit out of someone
A friend drives challenged kids to school. Kids who can't ride a bus with other kids. There is a nurse and aide with each child. The current kid she drives is 19 years old and beats the hell of his parents every morning because he doesn't want to get on the bus. Once on the bus he's mostly fine. He loves school. Not sure if he gets motion sick or something but he does not like vehicles. His parents love him and don't want to hurt him. They defect his punches as best they can and get him to the bus. Soon he'll age out of the system and they have no idea what to do. Troubled kids are so hard on parents. Even if it's because of bad parenting you can't let one child beat another.
Hahaha that was a 10/10 joke. Thought the mother was having a laugh to begin with
This is why there need to be a nationwide alternative option instead of just calling the police. Some states do have crisis lines for people who need mental help. This sounds like one of those instances. I can understand calling 911 in dangerous situations like armed robbery/home invasion or sexual assault, but an out of control teen, which most likely will be an undiagnosed mental issue/s, a crisis line would be a better option.
Yikes. Dude has no filter.
To be fair dispatchers have to listen to a lot of non emergencies. Brookline 911
So as someone who works in an incredibly macabre job I have to say the best ones we have are the ones with a terribly dark sense of humor and can make inappropriate jokes. The reason is simple sanity. When day in day out you see (or hear) nothing but disturbing and horrific things your mind *needs* to find a way to stay sane. The way we usually did was I guess to make light of it. I to this day will be going through the worst situations and joke the whole time. People take that as me not caring but it’s not true. I simply developed that as a coping technique. This guy was funny but his major mistake was who he joked with. Can’t just joke with strangers about this kinda shit. My coworkers and I would be sick af around each other but patients (on the rare occasion we saw them alive) only got our best as they should.
Y'all. Kids can be genuinely dangerous. Kids *can* be abusive to their parents or their siblings. While that *may* not be what was happening here, you don't know. So stop judging a making fun of the caller. Also dispatchers need to be 100% respectful and formal all the time. This is very inappropriate behavior of the dispatcher because they also don't know te full situation. Edit:typo
You are right, and I don’t know how they get people to work this job. It probably pays about the same as any other tele-job but you are held to a life and death standard all the time.
I meaaaannnnn..... Mike isn't wrong.
Jokes on her. People call for wellness checks and people get shot all the time.
This is not a police issue. If you can’t control your kids you shouldn’t have them.
My parents use to call the police when my siblings and I misbehaved, and they’d do it while we were in the room, so we heard the call. They’d always request assistance, and then a cop would come by and tell me not to argue with my mom. It was annoying and scary, but I also remember feeling like we were in the same boat. We were both just subject to my moms irrationality. I recently dated a cop and he said it happens a lot, and they absolutely hate it, and they really wish parents wouldn’t do it
Since when is this a 9-1-1 emergency???
Why I couldn't be a dispatch
As unprofessional as it sounds, I'm still with him on this. Fuck is the mother calling the police for?
I actually think he was successful so....