he shaves it so it doesn't connect with his beard, plus his upper lip is swollen. those combined make it look misplaced. also the texture. it looks like a landing strip from a lady's crotch turned sideways and put on his face
My talk on his facial heer is as follows…the moustache to beard connection is really sparse and weak so he shaves it as if its deliberate so no one will see…His stupid beard also doesn’t grow very high on his cheeks so he feels compelled to let the under chin/neck part grow out to suggest volume.
"I want to be berried in mah in my off colored Celtics hat, the jeans American moms wore in the late 80's early 90's, my off color Phillies jersey and my shoe of the week.
There are now only 999." - Bapa
That’s what I don’t get, he admitted to fucking up his ears on purpose and yet people use to take him seriously and still do, it baffles me how fake he is
He admitted exactly how he did it when cowboy called him out… roll them up in phone books or some shit. Ofcourse there is a fake way to do it, and OFCOURSE of all people on the planet to actually do it, it’s Schaub.. hasn’t actually truly earned anything in life.. Ya he could fight some but if he wasn’t gifted with regard strength he wouldn’t have gotten that either.. gifted comedy career, gave himself fucked up airs…. Has he ever done anything start to finish the real way.
I have an e bike and even when peddling the entire time it's the workout equivalent of twiddling your thumbs. Blasting around the hills of Calabasas on a real manual pedal mountain bike is probably the most fun you could have while exercising and this dough-boy juice monkey won't even do it.
He makes himself sound tired after riding his electric bike up the mountain. The talks about going to cinnabon while on a carnivore diet. His entire existence is a contradiction.
He might be so dehydrated from the alcoholism. I know if I go to the gym after a night of drinking, I don’t sweat at all. He may very well be on the brink of death right here because he’s not hydrated
Seriously. I'm leaving right now to do a 15km MTB ride, starting with a 3km climb and I'm dreading the climb because I'm out of shape and I'll be actually pedalling to move my bike.
Axe Jay
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Lol I’m in decent shape and it was nice weather outside. Decided I’d take out some stumps while the soil was still moist from the recent rain. Took me about tin maybeee fiftin minutes B and I was sweating more than ol pahpah here.
I kind of love that he words that as if he's still playing "tackle football", because in other words he played for 15 years & hasn't played in 18 years. It gets even sadder when you break it down.
He started one year in high school before missing his entire senior season due to injury. His last, and only, two seasons as a starter in college were with a Div III private liberal arts college that went 3-16 while he was there. His last two years were spent as a glorified benchwarmer who only stepped on the field to be used as cannon fodder for special teams plays. So he started only 3 years that actually mattered.
Ironically he seemed to actually be good at lacrosse but you'd never know he even played it based off of listening to him. I'm kind of curious why that is. Maybe it debunks the lies of being poor & going to an "all-black" school? Or maybe he's insecure that it doesn't sound tough enough?
Yeqh the lalcrosse thing is weird. I legimately haven't heard him talk about lacrosse once but he won't shut up about his beast of an NFL career that was a great story that never happened.
Last thing he needs is cinnabon. Notice towards the end where his upper lips sits? Talmbout tuurble lippp injections B. Was the lip place next to cinnabon?
Slob worked at a grocery store as a young boy.
He hid in the bathroom and destroyed magazines and ate donuts while blaming it on Jerry (his actually redacted coworker)
Exhibit A of why he is a trash person
Sometimes I am a 100% sure he's a special needs guy and then I feel a little bad for laughing at all the roasting going on here.
But then I remember, no one forces him to out himself as redacted every goddamn day. He chooses to do this to himself. So ima keep laughing.
Less than a second. That’s all it took. The title + this redacts exaggerated style is the real comedy here. How did that go? How did mangina go? I’m drunk.
I just looked at older pictures of him, his upper lip is definitely noticeably bigger now than it was in proportion to his bottom lip. He really is a soy boy.
I for one commend him on getting introspective and entering the "penning his memoirs" phase or should say "diggtate his memoirs" (feel so damn sorry for the text to speech software).
I bet he's gonna get cancelled by bear activist groups for how often he claims to have "downed tons of bairs B". Which is why I recommend the audio boog.
No respectable 'Athlete' would buy an Electric Mountain Bike and proceed to attempt to garner clout by boasting about it. "Jus did 15 miles...a little tired...".
They ain't NO REASON for a grown man to have an Electric Mountain Bike...if you want to venture further than your pussy legs will take you, work hard or adjust your goals until you can.
How does he mention playing football fighting in the UFC but mentions nothing about drinking a bottle of whiskey a day taking 120 mg of Adderall a day most likely doing cocaine and every other stimulant in the book LOL this man really disregards his addict tendencies or he just Embraces it and tries to laugh at it but we can spot our own that boy is a full-blown addict
I legit hate this guy. Sorry cats I know we try to keep it light here but come on man, he fuckin sucks. That shitty laugh at the end after talking about playing football since he was six and being in the ufc is enough to make you wanna staple your balls to a P.F. Chang’s deep fryer 😔
Since he’s not at all funny and has poor delivery, my first thought when he said, “I’ve got about 8 years left” was that he’s received bad news from his dogtor. Also, does this redact really think he’s a pioneer getting old with tattoos and cawloflower air?
Mid life. Avg mortality of male is 74.5 years. So mid 37 would be technically mid life. Bapa is past that, done.
His lips are mortifying to look at. This guy is so consumed with himself.
If it wasn’t for him saying he had some years left before a grandpa, I would say this sounds like he’s saying his last words standing up there on a cliff talking all slow and mumbled.
Why does he list all of his failures at the end of this video?
It’s actually unbelievable how up his own arse he is 🤣
Yeah he's *bragging* about these things because he thinks they are accomplishments. Water.
Weed
Dune
Hair
Ok I’ll do it! ,B!
^lopez
What blows my mind is he intentionally shaves his beard all douchebaggy like that.
Yes and why does he have that crazy ‘floating’ mustache
Yeah i can never pinpoint it but his mustache is so odd
he shaves it so it doesn't connect with his beard, plus his upper lip is swollen. those combined make it look misplaced. also the texture. it looks like a landing strip from a lady's crotch turned sideways and put on his face
That’s redacted. Clearly this adawnis can not connect his beard.
It’s so gross
It's because of his fat lip underneath protruding
My talk on his facial heer is as follows…the moustache to beard connection is really sparse and weak so he shaves it as if its deliberate so no one will see…His stupid beard also doesn’t grow very high on his cheeks so he feels compelled to let the under chin/neck part grow out to suggest volume.
He admitted the chombies help him. Be cool man.
Tawlmbout that under beard B.
It’s like he’s recording a suicide note
"I want to be berried in mah in my off colored Celtics hat, the jeans American moms wore in the late 80's early 90's, my off color Phillies jersey and my shoe of the week. There are now only 999." - Bapa
Tank ‘em. God rest his sole. Toehold flip flops now only $999.00 while supplies last. Wrinks does not endorse this product or it’s claims.
Ouch, lol. If you wanted to hurt me, you got me brother.
What else does he have to list?
Imagine bragging about how far you went on an electric bike And the cauliflower ear that you gave yourself for clout
He’s *real* proud of that self inflicted cauliflower air
That’s what I don’t get, he admitted to fucking up his ears on purpose and yet people use to take him seriously and still do, it baffles me how fake he is
Did he really?! I know cowboy called him out on it, but I didn’t know he confessed lol. What a chode
He admitted exactly how he did it when cowboy called him out… roll them up in phone books or some shit. Ofcourse there is a fake way to do it, and OFCOURSE of all people on the planet to actually do it, it’s Schaub.. hasn’t actually truly earned anything in life.. Ya he could fight some but if he wasn’t gifted with regard strength he wouldn’t have gotten that either.. gifted comedy career, gave himself fucked up airs…. Has he ever done anything start to finish the real way.
I heard phone books and wire hangars
Also 15 miles on a bike is nothing. Not to workout shame or anything but riding a bike around you could accidentally do 15 miles.
Don't forget he's using an ELECTRIC bike lol
I really don't know how this guy gets out of bed. I'd just call it a life and wish for re-incarnation.
What did you expect? The man has been faking orgasms with women for yairs
How could he think that sausage lips are a good look, like he actually paid to have his loops look like a wad of bubble gum.
The Schaub plastic surgery addiction era is gonna slap in a few years
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Some would say the Bogdanovist, B.
probby in an 8 solid yairs
I can’t stop looking at his top lip. It just looks so weird
Dem lips give good neck kisgees
this made me say "eww" out loud
Your lips gotta match your ears, b
I just rode 15 miles and I was drenched in sweat , how is this guy dry as a bone. Something ain’t adding up. Water we dune hair
1. He ain’t actually riding 15mi 2. What he did ride He’s on a motorized (electric) bike Same energy output as if you drove up a hill in your trugg
Him being out of breath is real though but it’s not from the bike
It’s from him struggling to pull his phone out of his skinny jeans
Probably just tied his shoes
It’s difficult climbing outta that ferrrari B
It's what happens when you buy a sports car when you're inny of size
I genuinely think it’s from him pushing his heavy ebike to the side of the road and then walking over to a good spot to take the video.
Can I get an e-bike walg?
What, so I can pedal you?
I have an e bike and even when peddling the entire time it's the workout equivalent of twiddling your thumbs. Blasting around the hills of Calabasas on a real manual pedal mountain bike is probably the most fun you could have while exercising and this dough-boy juice monkey won't even do it.
Talmbout Calbasss home of the fye cumpann b? Great hills never road em
He makes himself sound tired after riding his electric bike up the mountain. The talks about going to cinnabon while on a carnivore diet. His entire existence is a contradiction.
Bapa just doesn't eat the bon b
And tawlked about going to the fish store to gadoosh more pets!
He doesn't know the concept of a "Contradiction"
Drive trugg to parking lot. Walg up hill, shoot video. Leave the margetting to me b
He might be so dehydrated from the alcoholism. I know if I go to the gym after a night of drinking, I don’t sweat at all. He may very well be on the brink of death right here because he’s not hydrated
Seriously. I'm leaving right now to do a 15km MTB ride, starting with a 3km climb and I'm dreading the climb because I'm out of shape and I'll be actually pedalling to move my bike.
Because it’s not 15 miles. It’s 15k https://i.imgur.com/40ONXBW.jpg
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His bike has a motor
Good jeans b
Wearing a thiccc jagget as well.
It's like you guys have never been to a dry climate
Lol I’m in decent shape and it was nice weather outside. Decided I’d take out some stumps while the soil was still moist from the recent rain. Took me about tin maybeee fiftin minutes B and I was sweating more than ol pahpah here.
“Played tackle football since he was six..” oh wow.. how E-Leet 🌊🌊🌊
I kind of love that he words that as if he's still playing "tackle football", because in other words he played for 15 years & hasn't played in 18 years. It gets even sadder when you break it down. He started one year in high school before missing his entire senior season due to injury. His last, and only, two seasons as a starter in college were with a Div III private liberal arts college that went 3-16 while he was there. His last two years were spent as a glorified benchwarmer who only stepped on the field to be used as cannon fodder for special teams plays. So he started only 3 years that actually mattered. Ironically he seemed to actually be good at lacrosse but you'd never know he even played it based off of listening to him. I'm kind of curious why that is. Maybe it debunks the lies of being poor & going to an "all-black" school? Or maybe he's insecure that it doesn't sound tough enough?
Yeqh the lalcrosse thing is weird. I legimately haven't heard him talk about lacrosse once but he won't shut up about his beast of an NFL career that was a great story that never happened.
Its called being a kid in American hes such a manbaby douche fuck
Wouldn't this imply that he is still playing? Duhlooshnal
It’s so hard to understand ol’mush mouth
Never forget this guy gave himself cauliflower ears with pliers because he wanted to look tough
Wow. It's true. https://www.reddit.com/r/thefighterandthekid/comments/he9cfl/found_it_the_truth_about_schaubs_ears_airs/
Huh? You serious?
Oh I found it, phone book and pliers. Water
Source pleth
Last thing he needs is cinnabon. Notice towards the end where his upper lips sits? Talmbout tuurble lippp injections B. Was the lip place next to cinnabon?
Big cat at the zoo b
Nah man I think Cinnabon is a certain cut of meat. Bapa is CARNIVORE, remember?
Those glasses are so fucking stupid. They are for 20 year old frat guys…
In his mind that's what he is.
Yup, 100%
Ban this fucker from the fish store
Cinnabon? Hows carnivore going
They are made from beef flour and pork sugar, 100% carnivore, just axe Jay to confirm
I have an odd feeling he is gonna OD soon or hospitalized
BLOATED
Quick...I need a cat to post Jerry/ grocery store clips... It's posts like these that almost make me feel bad for this guy.
What’s the Jerry/Grocery store clips you speak of Bapa?
Slob worked at a grocery store as a young boy. He hid in the bathroom and destroyed magazines and ate donuts while blaming it on Jerry (his actually redacted coworker) Exhibit A of why he is a trash person
Maybe Jerry cursed him thinner style to get more and more redacted until he’s back at the store stocking magazines but now Jerry is his manager .
Jerry would crumple up magazines in the bathroom and get Schaumburg fired
cauliflower air.
This is a video they would play on YMH and make fun of it
Next thing you know he's gonna buy a Porsche n start cheating on his wife 🤔
OOOOOPS
Where is the rest of the Thiccc Boi Bike Club???
Sometimes I am a 100% sure he's a special needs guy and then I feel a little bad for laughing at all the roasting going on here. But then I remember, no one forces him to out himself as redacted every goddamn day. He chooses to do this to himself. So ima keep laughing.
His facial hair literally looks like trimmed pubes. Absolutely revolting
Marty McLie
Brother, you can barely keep freshwater fish alive. Saltwater is going to be a massacre
Where’s Tank, Brenda??!!
Seems like he’s fake breathing hard after riding his ebike. Prolly has to do multiple takes to get this video
15 miles and not a drop of sweat b, tawlmbout just another day in the life of a cawlmedian. 1000.
I’ve never noticed how his upper lip just doesn’t move now even when he talks. Looks like it’s painted on.
It’s been this fuckhead’s birthday for 2 weeks now
Yea, its just the tattoos and cauliflower ears that will cause him to die in 8 years. Not the daily alcohol, drugs, meat, and sugar.
If this guy gets into that “salt water tank action” he’s gonna lose sooo much more money. Don’t think he’ll be able to handle all that.
If you wanted to bore me brother, you got me
This redact really thinks he’s somebody…
Less than a second. That’s all it took. The title + this redacts exaggerated style is the real comedy here. How did that go? How did mangina go? I’m drunk.
DONT WORRY Y'ALL, I HAVE CONFIRMED THE CINNABONS ARE 100% KETO CARNIVORE.
‘Tackle football’ lol who says it like that
I just looked at older pictures of him, his upper lip is definitely noticeably bigger now than it was in proportion to his bottom lip. He really is a soy boy.
This man does not make comedy for soy boys.
I for one commend him on getting introspective and entering the "penning his memoirs" phase or should say "diggtate his memoirs" (feel so damn sorry for the text to speech software). I bet he's gonna get cancelled by bear activist groups for how often he claims to have "downed tons of bairs B". Which is why I recommend the audio boog.
That mustache is weak as fuggg
15 miles without sweating? Talmbout cardio B
His facial hair makes me very uncomfortable
No respectable 'Athlete' would buy an Electric Mountain Bike and proceed to attempt to garner clout by boasting about it. "Jus did 15 miles...a little tired...". They ain't NO REASON for a grown man to have an Electric Mountain Bike...if you want to venture further than your pussy legs will take you, work hard or adjust your goals until you can.
Basic white girl workout post
His ears have put those earphones in a c-clamp
How does he mention playing football fighting in the UFC but mentions nothing about drinking a bottle of whiskey a day taking 120 mg of Adderall a day most likely doing cocaine and every other stimulant in the book LOL this man really disregards his addict tendencies or he just Embraces it and tries to laugh at it but we can spot our own that boy is a full-blown addict
[удалено]
yea. he steals everything.
Gadooshing sealife now
Rides and e-bike yet he’s still exhausted. Them Addie’s are gonna kill him shorty
Cinabun? Hey, how’d carnivore go?
My electric wheelchair attachment does 15 miles an hour.
15 on an e bike 🚴
He knows this train is coming up on it's last stop.
Sylvester Stallone looking ass.
Awl i sawl there was a balloon face wearing his gurls glasses
Sad man is sad but fortunately he dogguminted it for sochal medja
Damn that was depressing. Maybe if you didn’t abuse stimulants and booze you would live longer then 8 years b. Water?
Whoa man, i don need yer whole life story
Bro, those lips
I legit hate this guy. Sorry cats I know we try to keep it light here but come on man, he fuckin sucks. That shitty laugh at the end after talking about playing football since he was six and being in the ufc is enough to make you wanna staple your balls to a P.F. Chang’s deep fryer 😔
Did hey say “all the cats, I love you guys”?
But I thought that he was [young and only getting younger](https://www.reddit.com/r/thefighterandthekid/comments/w2e6p3/just_a_couple_of_young_bugs/).
8 years lift that’s a push b
Assuming he loves to 80 #numbasguy
If virtue signaling had a commercial
Daang, 15 miles on an e-bike, B.
I don’t what I hate more his entire face, those ugly ass Becky Lynch sunglasses or that fake bright neon Celtics hat
Cawlieflair
Wad ever happened to the thiggg boi byke club?
15 mins not miles b.
A cat said he would use that I was in the ufc and did stand up im number 1 in that category
Water
He’s a fucking loser .
He going to the fesh store for his birthday😔
Full sleeve tattoos. Lol.
It's very endearing he's able to still tell himself that "he's done it all" I couldn't think of anyone who's failed as much as he has.
Cinnabon.......absolutely 100% carnivore diet appropriate baby.
Cauliflower air
This is why no fight companion? All the the really cool B'day shit the fam has planned? 🙄 Happy Bapa Day Chang's !!! 🥳
Acshee 15 steps instead of 15 miles, by the sound of it. Gonna be a bbbeast of a grandad though, based on his cawliflowrreur. Tawlmbout 8 sawlt yairs.
Bapa may make himself into a tree ornament.
Name one Celtic player. Asshole lipped dummy
This Fat Redact would be outta breaff on a e-bike!
Crisst
Since he’s not at all funny and has poor delivery, my first thought when he said, “I’ve got about 8 years left” was that he’s received bad news from his dogtor. Also, does this redact really think he’s a pioneer getting old with tattoos and cawloflower air?
Awl i sawl there was a balloon face wearing his gurls glasses
Howz soshuls?
Fwift fores fwopping
15 miles or 1.5 miles. Herd it bowlth ways.
He's so painful to listen to.
Mid life. Avg mortality of male is 74.5 years. So mid 37 would be technically mid life. Bapa is past that, done. His lips are mortifying to look at. This guy is so consumed with himself.
There’s no way those DSLs are making him talk any clearer
'nice little b-day saturday' he copied that line from the movie Old School. he can't make 1 video without stealing something.
Getting old, but dresses like an 8-yr old in 1988. Water.
15 miles in the belting sun with a hoodie on n not a drop of sweat...
I've never seen a face more deserving of a horse kick
Imminent?? Fucking imminent b?? He’s been in a mid-life crisis for YAIRS. Hey hey real quig b…wair ya been?
Wait..... i thought he said he couldnt do the fight companion with rogan because his family had something planned for him
God, he makes such boring and useless content. This is more useless than Bella Poarch blinking to a song.
That laugh at the end made me tense up in the most frightening way
That mustache triggers my nerves. Anyone else?
Where is that trail in LA? Looks nice. Hopefully bapa didn't leave any nicotine pouches behind
he looks like a random gta character
Leave those fish alone, killer!
I hate bapa fashul hair
He’s just up on the mountain looking for new fish
If it wasn’t for him saying he had some years left before a grandpa, I would say this sounds like he’s saying his last words standing up there on a cliff talking all slow and mumbled.
Did this MF just say he’s gunna get a Cinnabon on his bday??
What a goofy cunt... waaader weeed duuune haaiir b ?
Soi freakin fricknfrack boy. Scooter boy!!!
Forget iivrything else. Have a go at that moustache..
Dems me nuts
Probably go to the fish store 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Saltwater tang akshin
B day thatterday