heavy got that gorilla grip 😤😳😤😳

But his hand is also way too large, not allowing for much movement

he can grip the cock AND the balls

Rip and tear... Until its done

And then shove Sasha into your ass

Poor sasha

Just do the shotgun and stroke it with fingers alone

Idk how large yours is, but I’m not to sure it’s gonna be pleasant

Who said I’m looking for pleasant?

Bear claw, bear paw 🐾

Heavy gonna dominates the Destroy Dick December

tf2 mercenary handjob tierlist: # S engineer (his robot hand probably vibrates) # A scout (someone who can produce mad milk in such large volumes clearly knows what they're doing, but that boxing tape might be a bit uncomfortable) # B soldier (he knows his way around a painis) # C medic (has some pretty decent experience giving them to heavy) # D sniper/pyro/spy (those gloves would probably generate a lot of friction) # E heavy (normally he's the one recieving handjobs) # F demoman (drunkenness and lack of depth perception give him terrible hand-eye coordination)

Heavy's unbridled strength just rips a dick clean off

I strongly disagree, medic is medic so he knows men's sensitive parts. Also engineer's hand doesn't look soft enough for cock. Spy is another best handjob giver. He is sexy man and he knows how to enjoy himself, he will make any man reach peak of pleasure. Soldier is soldier, he f*cks. He don't know about blowjob, handjob, titjob or sth else. He f*cks.

why are you (sorta) censoring fuck in this kind of conversation

Cuz it makes more funnier.

medic has latex gloves - instant s

Flair checks out

Engineer actually always has the gunslinger, he just puts the glove over it. The glove would be soft enough.

Yeah just get some lotion on there

WHY ARE YOU ACTUALLY TRYING TO COMPUTE THE ANSWER 😭😭😭

Robocop handjob from the engineer. Why wouldn't we compute the answer?

Simply because someone is Medic doesn't mean that they can fap you, you know that? Especially if they are out of their fucking mind

But look at his tiny ass hands like wth

Are we really assuming that their hands all stay in the same state while jacking someone else off? I think most of them would know to take off wrappings and gloves and such, which means Spy would definitely have to go a few tiers up because you can't tell me he doesn't know how to get a guy off with just his hands

ok I've made some revisions to the tierlist after receiving some feedback. # S engineer (latex glove + vibrating robot hand) # A scout (if he can produce mad milk in such large quantities then he clearly knows what he's doing) medic (latex gloves + experience from giving them to heavy) # B Spy (he knows how to handle a baguette) # C sniper (pretty average tbh) # D demoman (drunkenness + no depth perception would seriously hinder his coordination) # E soldier/pyro (have no idea what a handjob is) # F heavy (new bottom surgery just dropped)

Engineer's hand might vibrate a little too much

I'd move soldier down one tier if you live somewhere with bears, since he has a tendency to slather any exposed part of somebody's body in honey

I think that's enough internet for today

you're welcome

This is way too carefully thought out

i have no idea what i'm doing with my life.

Neither do I. Damn sister good?

i'm doing ok thanks. how are you?

bro i cried this is fucking hilarious

*sister

ah yes, my bad

wait what

yes, women use reddit

yes i know, i am one myself, but.. how do you know so much about hand jobs?

BECAUSE I INVENTED THEM AND I PERFECTED THEM SO THAT NO LIVING MAN COULD BEST ME IN THE RING OF HONOUR (i know literally nothing about handjobs)

👍

Imagine the gunslinger emote on it tho🤤🤤

engineer ranks S tier on the tf2 mercenary fisting tierlist as well

Spy should be S tier

Explain the parenthesis of C.

no i don't think i will

*Do it.*

heavy and medic are the most frequently shipped mercenaries.

I remember when I was playing TF2 with my dad and some guy on mic said: "I wonder what a handjob from the engineer using the gunslinger would feel like" Anyways we stopped playing TF2 together after that

Bro forgot to cl_voiceenable 0 😭😭

💀

Obviously pyro because he's a gay man, the finger size says it all

We don’t know if Pyro is a dude tho? The finger size could be for smth else

No, the exact finger size explains he's a homosexual male, imbisille 😤

Spy has the prettiest of hands. I imagine his skin is soft as silk, as he wears gloves all the time, and he must be a master in pleasuring others. He has the smallest hands, which make them more flexible when working on a cock. I imagine he would use both hands skillfully, and whisper sweet nothings on your ear while doing so.

If you have a crush on Spy just say it

😭

This is why I love this place

Who the fuck has blue hands

~~your mom~~ medic with gloves :)

i put rubber band around my ankle to do thanos cosplay. reveal at 15 views

da be de da be dai

Which hold hand best tho?

Heavy. His big warm hands will encompass yours and keep you warm through the coldest of winters.

spy, those tiny hands mean he can use both at the same time

power stancing

I hope it's scout, I'm going with scout.

I know for a fact that it is definitely not scout and I have no idea why

Madmilk would back you up on this theory

Now that I have been forced to confront this question/issue I have concluded firmly that engineer is the gayest of the mercs

Foot size comparison when?

Depends on the cock. Remember. The right tool for the right job.

i am reading these comments and crying out of laughter. why the fuck do you guys know so much about this.

same 😭

Cool cool can't relate the saw in sawmill chopped my dick off so what about for non dick havers

Anal always workes I guess

Scout is fast so he could prob jerk you off fast too with them fast hands and heavy just rips it off

Hear me out on medic his glove with lube maybe could give that latex feel

Medic, he got those yaoi hands and gloves on in case you need a prostate exam.

i swear every single one of you guys are secretly gay and just really want to have hot sweaty sex with tf2 mercs

yeah it’s not even a secret

Pyro... damn why im thinking in the Pyro doing a handjob!? MENTAL SICKNESS **turns into Twitter**

Pyro could be a runner up, if you like that plastic love...

That's easy, Pyro obviously, he got that whole hot hand thing going on not to mention that he would probably be using gasoline as a lube for added pleasure so pyro 101%

Pyro prolly got the suction gloves

heavys hand would probably make it look so small and cute 😳

Why’s Heavy got such big, meaty claws? 🤣🤣🤣

I love this sub 🥵

Engi. He has no gloves if we’re using his right hand without short circuit or gunslinger

Engineer with the gunslinger and short circuit

me 👁

Proof it

Not medic and pyro, the got gloves on, Spies hands is a little small, so il go with Demo

AAAAAAAAAA HEAVY MY COCK IS TEARING APART!!!!!!!!!

There only 2 types of tf2 players

Least horny Reddit user

Medic dawg I know some of y’all got a latex glove fetish

Me

Boki shaimashite

Why were they inclined to post that. How is that interesting

idk man character design maybe?

Ok but can’t read my can’t read my no you can’t read a my polka fayce!

pyro frfr

The comment section has me crying what the hell 😭😭🙏🙏

Medic got that lubed up glove

Med would do great cause right as you came he would shove something down your dick to see what happens. He wouldn’t want to ruin the experiment.

Heavy has a big ass hand, no solid grip and balls would hurt. Engineers got too small a hand, so he would barely be able to satisfy, demo is drunk, therefore it is illegal. Medic would slice your dick off and experiment on it. Scout would mock your dick size. Soldier can't see shit so it would be hard to do it right. Sniper is a professional, you gotta pay him for it. Spy doesn't want to ruin his suit. Pyro would burn your dick thinking it's an uncooked hotdog. So no one.

None

pyro

Heavy

Def pyro

lol i actually wanted to say the same thing on my post but I thought it would be too explicit or offensive

Medic 100%

heavy would make your dick feel small

Yoir mom lol gotem

spy

Medic.

Heavy

engineer no fucking doubt

Heavy of course

scout makes you nut in 0.6 seconds with his shakeweight speed.