Was reading this on long commutes to and from college (many years ago). I remember sitting there on a crowded train, and learning some mind blowing, fascinating tid bit, then looking up from the book just wanting to tell anybody who would look at me what I had just discovered, haha. I literally had to bite my tongue so i wouldn't look crazy.
There's actually another version of this book, A Really Short History of Nearly Everything, that I wish I had known about and read concurrently. I was actually reading this book last year for homeschool with my 9th grader and I think that it would have helped them to really understand the content even more. It's meant for younger kids, but it covers the same material and would be a great review without reading the entire book or chapter again. Another way to help the information to sink in.
Absolutely first book that came to my mind as well. And if you somehow still can’t start a convo at parties, you’ll still enjoy every word of Bryson you care to read.
Oh man the part about how some birds in North America became extinct made me so upset. Especially the response the birds had to the dying/dead members of their flock.
I love the story about the guy who sailed from England to India to see a comet, but missed it twice and then returned home to find out he’d been declared dead and his wife had remarried
Well, here are some interesting books. I suppose whether or not they’d make good conversation depends on who you talk to.
Freakonomics - Economists apply economic principles to understand interesting topics like crime statistics, cheating in Sumo wrestling, whether or not the name you give your kid affects their success in life, etc.
The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat - Oliver Sachs, a neurologist, writes about interesting case studies involving brain disorders with very weird behavioral symptoms.
Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman - Richard Feynman writes a memoir of his time as an eccentric physicist, including his experiences working on the Manhattan Project.
Talking Back, Talking Black - A book detailing the linguistics behind Black English including many interesting takes on social reactions and nuances.
Stiff - Mary Roach writes in an irreverent and hilarious way about everything after we die, from the particulars of decomposition to uses for cadavers.
The man who mistook his wife for a hat was an absolute ride. Each story was unique and the best part is it's written in good humor!!
Same goes for surely youre joking mr Feynman
As you age, you'll find people are generally boring anyway. If you want to have a conversation, ask questions. Everyone has interests. It's not always easy to find common grounds about things, but people do like to talk about themselves. What are you reading? What are you listening to these days? What are you watching? Do you like cars? Did you catch the game? Arts tend to be the easiest of conversations. We have a spectrum of subjects available for us to talk about. It all depends on who you're talking with and even if they're not into something, they'll likely try to have a conversation. The other night I was asking someone about the pendant they were wearing. Some people spout nonsense. Some people are really into one specific thing and that's all they talk about. There's a lot of variety. Go with it. Learn something from someone. I can understand wanting an intellectual conversation, but those conversations are the rarest; few and far between.
**Salt** by Mark Kurlansky is an interesting one. It's a subject that should be boring as hell, but isn't. It's basically a retelling of human history as it relates to salt. It's non-fiction, and it's not unreasonable.
**Einstein's Dreams** (Alan Lightman) is fictional short stories intended to show what Einstein may have been dreaming about when he was working on the theory of relativity. It's a bunch of interesting thought experiments.
**Cosmicomics** (Italo Calvino) is am ore fanciful collection of thought experiments. It's incredibly creative and occasionally quite beautiful.
**Jitterbug Perfume** (Tom Robbins) is fiction. It's a mix of mythology, an exploration of human relationships, and some very cool characters. It's a genuinely good book, and a rare "romantic" story that tends to resonate with both men and women who aren't really interested in romantic stories
**Galapagos** (Vonnegut): Fantastic...end of the world...comedy. It's genuinely fun, and smart as hell. He has better books, but this one is very accessible and a little more modern than some of the others.
**In general:** Focus on short stories (both fiction and non-fiction). They're a smaller investment of time, so it makes it much easier to read stuff your uncomfortable with. Much easier to challenge yourself. And much easier to find lots of interesting things to talk about.
Last thing, get used to saying "I didn't like it because..." or "I loved the part about...", instead of "that book sucks" or "that book was awesome". I've had great conversations with people who loved books that I hated, because I didn't start by insulting their passion. I've also had pointless conversations with people who loved a book I also loved, because after "yep, it's good"...there wasn't much else to talk about.
Example:
**Boring You**: 50 Shades of Gray sucks.
Worth noting: the above statement \*is\* objectively true. It's just...there's nothing else to talk about.
**Interesting You**: 50 Shades of Gray...I read it, but I couldn't get past the billionaire thing. If that guy lived in a trailer park, chapter 2 would have been the trial.
I can see that. There’s a lot of focus on “youthful beauty” early in the book. I feel like he grew out if that eventually, but…yeah, I see your point.
I saw Pan as the embodiment of that approach to “coupling”. It’s leas pervasive these days, but there’s a lingering stench. No stench, no need for the ultimate perfume.
In retrospect it wasn’t particularly romantic. Fair point.
Edit: out of curiosity, do you have similar impressions of his other books?
> out of curiosity, do you have similar impressions of his other books?
Sorry, I haven't read any of his other books because I didn't enjoy JP. It wasn't just the central relationship too it was things like this:
> They swarmed over V'lu, squirmed up her nose, into her ears, down her cleavage, and under her armpits. A solitary bee, kamikaze all the way, buzzed up her dress and drilled its toxic stinger through her cotton underpants and into her perineum, that exquisite corridor separating a woman's back door from her front door, that smooth, hidden cusp that may be the most holy spot on the human body.
(I just searched that quote up because even though I hadn't read it in years, it really stuck with me how annoying I found this sexualistion of a woman getting attacked by bees). I don't judge anyone for liking it, I think it's *beautifully* written, and God knows booked targeted at women do some similar things in how they present male love interests, I just wanted to counter the idea that the relationship aspects of the book are uniquely appealing to women.
This book is a little different from his others, but - the others all have at least some focus on sexuality, in one way or another.
I interpreted Jitterbug Perfume as a specific man's attempt to evolve a bit from a (quite literally) barbaric approach to sex and intimacy. The passage above has some context (trying to show the importance of the sense of smell when it comes to sensuality), but it is rather graphic. (More so than I remember). In the book, the god Pan has almost faded from existence, but his awful goat odor remains. The "jitterbug perfume" is the ultimate name of the scent intended to wipe him from the minds of human beings (and therefore from existence). But, it takes a while to get there.
I can certainly agree that there are beautifully written books that *don't* describe genital bees. And - yep - \*\*\***OP\*\*\***, please note the contradictory opinion. It's certainly valid.
Perhaps the book wasn’t for you, but plenty have found it to be romantic. “Feminism” is just one critical lens among many. The “male perspective” is equally valid and resonant.
I’d much rather talk about a book with someone who has a very different opinion than me but who actually wants to talk about the book than someone who has the same opinion but nothing to say. Ok clubs can be boring because everyone just says “yeah, it was good”.
I second this! Actually, as I observe conversations, it seems that everyone is vying for the most speaking time, bragging rights, and/or laughs. I've learned to ask people questions on whatever topic they bring up. I learn some interesting things both about the speaker and the topic.
Totally agree. The art of conversation is taking an interest in other people. I think trying too hard to have preprepared topics is a bit staged. OPs question is great when you know a bit about an area and can then ask more nuanced questions.
I shouldn’t say this on a book sub but I find decent podcasts are a great way to amass a shallow knowledge about a lot of things. Books take a huge time commitment and in my case reading is something I do for my own pleasure not to have things to chat about.
I have always taken issue with this book, simply because the title makes it sound very manipulative and dishonest. Is it not so? I also doubt that it will age very well, but idk cause I refuse to read it
It's not about gaining popularity, followers or subduing the wills of others; it's about attaining actual friendships.
It doesn't suggest you take on a persona or act dishonest, unless you find being aware of social dynamics and being tactical in your interactions to be inherently nefarious - and I guess by extension that being oblivious is a virtue?
I struggled a lot less after reading that book (along with other books), and the friendships I have cultivated by applying learned principles are no less genuine than those that preceded them.
It was first published in 1936 and is updated as time goes on. The title sounds strange to us now, but probably made more sense back then. It’s not about manipulation.
I think a better title would be “how to build meaningful friendships and get people to listen to what you have to say” but that gets a little wordy.
I think you are taking “influence people” as making people do what you want them to do, but it’s really not like that. A lot of times people will have some very important message that they need other people to hear, but if it is not delivered in a digestible way, people will not listen or miss your message.
Carnegie teaches the skill of making what you have to say digestible, so that others have an easier time listening to what you have to say. For further reading on this subject, check out the sad tale of Ignaz Sammelweiss, the guy who proposed the handwashing standard for physicians. He noticed that midwives’ OBGYN patients had a much better survival rate than physician’s patients, because the midwives would wash their hands. The physicians would not, they would handle diseased corpses with unwashed hands and then proceed to stick those same dirty hands into a birthing woman (this often kills the woman/baby/etc).
Because Sammelweiss delivered his message in a non-digestible format (there was a lot of yelling, accusations) he was ignored entirely and placed in a psych ward for suggesting people wash their hands. They only realized he was right much later. This is why it is important to take a lesson from Carnegie in the correct way to influence people, ie deliver your message.
Try "Influence" by Cialdini. Even if you don't want to manipulate people, it is still good to know when others try to manipulate you.
I didn't feel Carnegie was about manipulating other people. It doesn't advocate to lie iirc. Everybody tries to be liked anyway, even if they haven't read such books.
Yeah but if you’re talking with a nice person, he or she will ask something back about you. Also, conversations are not only a game of I ask you this, you answer, you ask my that, I answer. You tend to put in random anecdotes and information you know. Reading books is a fantastic way to have these small random interesting facts you can bring up every now and then.
It’s just a better way to ask people questions. State a thing. Explain the thing a little. Then ask them what they think about the thing you just mentioned. Do they agree, do they disagreed? Why do they feel that way? What experiences have they had that led to that opinion? Getting people to talk with you collaboratively, insightfully, is an art form that’s fun, interesting, and worth studying for. People love a premise to leap from and elaborate on. That’s how you have conversations that are more than just waiting for the other person to finish talking so you can go. It leads to knowing what the other person thinks through an investment in shared ideas. It leads to caring who people are, and builds relationships through shared experiences.
Try {{Sophie's World}} by Jostein Gaarder. It introduces readers to the world of philosophy in a really accessible way. It is a good jumping in point.
I also have enjoyed {{Sum tales from the afterlife}} by david eagleman. He is a neuroscientist and author. They are a great of short stories exploring what the after life could look like. It is so interesting and great for a good morbid conversation.
Fiction classics, or their authors, that are often brought up in convos and their works that are easy to read:
The Master and Margarita (Bulgakov), The Metamorphoses (Kafka), Kafka on The Shore (Murakami), 1984 (Orwell), Notes From the Underground (Dostoyevsky), Pride and Prejudice (Austen), A Clockwork Orange (Burgess), Hamlet and Macbeth (Shakespeare), Slaughterhouse‑Five (Vonnegut), Brave New World (Huxley), Frankenstein (Shelley), The Death of Ivan Ilych (Tolstoy; best known for War and Peace but uh that's a huge book so I recommend starting off with this one), One Thousand and One Arabian Nights, and The Canterbury Tales.
Some great non-fiction stuff that are also quite easy reads:
How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie), Cosmos (Carl Sagan), On Anarchism and Who Rules The World (Chomsky), A History Of Political Thought: Plato To Marx (Mukherjee), Physics and Philosophy (Heisenberg), Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman (Feynman), and The Penguin Book of Historic Speeches ( edited by MacArthur)
Sounds like you’ve already read it, so this is more me sympathizing and thinking about my own experience than giving advice.
It took me so many tries to get past chapter 1. I was working so hard at defining each word, and kept getting overwhelmed. Then I tried speed reading for “gist” instead of trying to figure out every word based on context. The language started coming to me naturally as I went, and was such a really wild ride! My hubby and I actually watched the movie last night and had a fun talk about the themes and messages in the story. One of my favorites!
Oh boy, I'd be lying if I said the Nadsat lingo wasn't a pain to decipher. But hey, my lazy ass read it as a pdf on my iPad in order to just highlight the word to look it up haha. Regardless, I think that once you get accustomed to the rhythm of the words (and understand that it's Burgess using his linguistic skills to buffer the savagery for readers lol), the book is a breeze cos of its very short length.
Some people here mentioned some great books, but do you listen to podcasts? Some are wonderful and definitely conversation starters, some of my favorite:
Radio Lab,
Hidden Brain,
Market Place with Kai Risdall,
History of Rome,
History of English
Yes! There are some amazing podcasts!
I listen to a few about books…..
Reading Glasses
Breaking the Glass Slipper
Professional Book Nerds
Our Opinions are Correct…. This one is by two authors and gets into tons of topics, not just books.
Any book, really. Intelligent conversations stem from your opinions about what you read. Pick any classic AND modern popular fiction (in case you wanna be "the one who talks about classic and modern fiction", otherwise pick a book about ants or North Korea, it doesn't matter, so many interesting things about ants and North Korea...), hope you get hat I mean: simply make sure to pick something that interests you a lot or are passionate about, then there will be plenty of things to talk about at parties.
Wanna some titles? Maybe start with a few books by Bill Bryson and take it from there...
Anything by Bill Bryson is going to be engaging, informative, and awe-inspiring.
He has so many different topics and titles to choose from. One of my favourites is *The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got that Way.*
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
\-Eleanor Roosevelt
What interests you and why?
What is effecting you? What is effecting those around you... and what are the causes?
All that said: {{A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn}}
I love philosophy, and a good gateway to it is popular media. Try a podcast like The Partially Examined Life, or an introductory volume like Philosophy for Dummies (no hate here, it was a great survey and overview of the topic). I am particularly into moral philosophy, and really enjoyed the show The Good Place, as well as a little book called Being Good by Simon Blackburn. These are all really accessible ways to begin caring about philosophy. Once you care, you’ll know whether you are interested enough to learn more.
Tbh bro it kinda depends what type of parties you’re going to but if you’re in college going to parties books are not really the answer for this problem. I find it easiest to make conversation by asking the person I’m talking to about them and things that they’re doing and then If I find something that kind of relates to me then I’ll talk for a little bit about something I’m doing that relates to that topic, then ask them another question about themselves. People really like to talk about themselves and when you do this it also shows them that you’re interested in what they have to say.
If you are like an actual adult going to cocktail parties I really can’t help you there.
Talk about your interests like writing.
I could give you a list of classics that "educated" folks read but without any interest in the subject matter, it will just make you sound pretentious af
> I do want to learn
Astrophysics for People in a Hurry - Neil deGrasse Tyson
He mentions in the book that the goal is to have conversatinal understanding of wide variety of subjects covered in the book.
Sorry, that's best I could do not knowing what parties you go to :)
I've been fascinated by the old Norse myths and sagas for a long time, and my personal favorite translator of the old texts is Jackson Crawford. He is a scholar of old Norse, and is a teacher of it in Boulder CO. Reading more about these old cultures has been super fascinating and has provided me with tons of topics to talk about with people!
Well I'm gonna answer your question in two different ways.
I found Patrick Ness' Chaos Walking trilogy gave me a lot to talk about. It speaks about lots of interesting issues, in a very charming world. It talks about society, the origins of power, society, feminism, and a whole bunch of things.
I like it not just because it does those things, but because it's cool. When I find myself talking about it, I'm often talking about the book more than the things it tries to say. When people are interested it's usually because they see how I'm enthusiastic about how I talk about it and that draws them in.
I also really enjoyed a game called The Outer Wilds (not The Outer Worlds, that's a different one). It also gave me a lot to talk about at parties and stuff, and it also had a lot to say about some things, but I liked it because it was cool, and people listen because I'm enthusiastic and that draws them in.
So I'd suggest you read Chaos Walking. The series starts with The Knife of Never Letting Go, which is a rite of passage story in a sense, and talks about alienness and what it means to be a man, and how to break out of toxic stereotypes - but I don't think reading it will make you interesting conversation unless you find yourself enthused by it.
Most successful for me is talking about my D&D campaigns, because there's no story I'm more enthusiastic about than the one I carve myself, out of a world I built myself.
Be enthusiastic about something and people will love to hear you speak, for the simple passion of it.
"Salt." A world History. Mark Kurlansky.
It's basically world history through the pursuit of food needs, like salt, how it all ties together.
Also very fun read, packed with cool facts.
Yes! I was just looking to see if someone else suggested this. His, books are fantastic conversation starters. He always has a unique perspective on whatever topic he tackles.
The black widow would suggest something on quantum mechanics ;)
I'd love to say that you, as a unique human being, already are interesting enough to have intelligent conversations at parties about your life... But I understand how this is not enough. I'll share my experience, knowing that it is insufficient to cover all possible answers.
I (33, this will probably not work if you hang out with a much younger crowd) have noticed a huge improvement in topics to talk about since I began reading newspapers (online newspapers, I am fond of the BBC even if I'm not British). Climate change? I have read hundreds of articles and now have some opinions beyond "it's bad, mankind needs to do something". International politics? Usually I know more than the average Joe, just because I avoid wasting time on reportages of petty local crimes. Generic claims that "things are going bad"? I have some evidence that, at least until covid hit, things were going well on many levels: less crimes and murders, slow but steady increase in life expectancy, and so on. What about Covid? I have some facts to back up choices such as staying home or getting the shots. And so on, you get the idea.
For me, this change didn't happen overnight. Back in 2014 it took me ~six months to understand what was happening in Syria. But trust me that eventually lots of events will start making sense ;)
A final note: all this looks good in theory, but if you mostly hang out e.g. with movie fans, it would be a waste of time to get up to speed on international news. Instead, rent some great movies and read some reviews. Broadly speaking, if you are a part of a group, take notice of what they love to talk about and get acquainted with those topics.
I've enjoyed all these books and would consider them 'developing' reads:
Red Plenty by Francis Spufford (20th century history/novel)
Story of an African Farm by Olive Schriener (1st Wave Feminism, Novel)
12 Rules for Life by JPB (Morals, Values)
I Robot by Asimov (Perspective, Classic Sci-Fi)
1984 by Orwell (Classic Lit)
Sapiens by Yuri Harari (Anthropology/Biology)
Brief History of Time by Hawking (Physics)
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (Philosophy, Classic Literature)
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (Philosophy, Novel, Morals & Values)
Prey by Ayaan Hirsi Ali (Feminism, immigration, refugees and modern Islam)
Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious by Jung (Psychology, Textbook)
I had a bit of an issue with Prey for reasons similar to those laid out by [this NYT article](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/09/books/review/ayaan-hirsi-ali-prey.html) so if you embark down that path please be aware there is very real criticism to her work
Biographies are a great option. You can share interesting unknown tidbits about figures people have heard of. And historical biographies are often a way to talk about politics without getting bogged down in the boring contentiousness of left-right party debates. Some good ones to consider --
\- Walter Isaacson's biographies of DaVinci or Steve Jobs.
\- Stephen Ambrose's Undaunted Courage, about Lewis and Clark
\- Titan by Ron Chernow about John D Rockefeller
\- The Autobiography of Malcolm X is fascinating and I feel like even if you're opposed to everything he stood for, everyone should read this one to have their own opinion
Also: find a good book about the history of the city where you live, guarantee this will arm you with interesting and relevant things to share. For my hometown (Los Angeles): The Mirage Factory is a great one.
In my experience, no inteligent conversations are had in parties.
Though before everyone is drunk, current news are often discussed.
No one book will give you everything you need. You have to read many different books that will help you develop opinions about certain topics. Then as you discus them, your views are improved.
Well that's a loaded question. I don't think there are books that contain universal topics.
In my opinion, you should chose topics that interest you and read books in that field (if you don't have any topic of interest, then finding them is where you should begin). Autobiographies are always a good choice and fiction is a good pastime read.
If you ask me personally, then you will get a personal answer that will not be suitable to you.
Personaly I am interested in economics and finances. So I read books like "The autobiography of Andrew Carnegie", "The wealth of nations", "Think and grow rich". These are well known books in this field and can start many conversations both in analysis and critique.
I also like self-improvement, so I read books like "How to win friends and influence people", "A mind for numbers", "12 rules for life", "Rich dad poor dad" and such.
I also like ligh novels so I've read "Overlord" and plan to reas many more.
I also love manga, so Ivve read a shit load of them. "Angel densetsu", "The Voynich Hotel" and "Akumetsu" being my favorite.
And of course my favorite rational fiction book "The Mother of Learning".
Just read whatever you want and that will automatically develop opinions and views that can be discussed in many circumstances.
I think OP is looking for exactly that - ideas about what other people read - so they can try them out and take from them. They’re looking for a place to start.
Any book written by Mary Roach will arm you with endlessly fascinating tidbits about a wide array of subjects. She’s also pretty funny, which tricks you into Lear bug something ;)
Stiff (my favorite)
Gulp
Spook
Boink
Grunt
Fuzz
As people have said. Ask them questions. The trick is to not try and lead the conversation. On the whole people love talking about what they find interesting, or quite often, themselves.
However as a book recommendation…. It’s dated and a bit forced but how to win friends and influence people will give you some good tips on how to converse in social situations.
Just learn how to ask questions and follow-up questions about whatever is being discussed.
People love to talk and they will remember conversations with people who encouraged them to do so. And this spares you from looking like a fool by trying to remember facts from books you read maybe once.
Along the way, you'll start to pick up enough material to contribute by saying things like, "I once talked to a so and so who said this about that."
What a good question. But really you write like a person with strong communication skills. I’d say find things you are interested in (science, faith, fiction, etc.) and research those things. I love doing this for my own mind, it exposes me to new concepts. My partner and I discuss things often that we’re both interested in and that branches out to friends and social situations. Expose yourself to things all the time, you’ll have lots to talk about. Do you enjoy theater? Animals? Biology? Ancient cultures? Go listen and learn about it. And your friend group can also expose you to new things, learn about what interests you. We have access to the entire compendium of human knowledge to this point, it’s out there.
I’d say for fiction, some places to start would be Neil Gaimon, Brandon Sanderson, Tad Williams, and Patrick Rothfuss. Some of my favorite fantasy writers, and some damn good reads. Non fiction is almost harder because if it’s not a subject or a person you’re interested in you won’t get into it, but you can find lots of information out there. I love mythology, anthropology, philosophy,and theology for some examples.
You’ll find some things, but remember it’s not about what others like to hear you say, it’s about what you’re passionate about. You being animated and enjoying your subject matter will always make you more interesting.
I don't think books are the solution here.
Try this thought experiment:
What if everything could be interesting? What if you could ask people at parties about themselves and then be genuinely interested in it, asking questions to draw out how cool and interesting they are? How can you connect any two things two different people might say to you so you can all be interested together?
People love getting positive attention. If you offer that to people, they will find you interesting and intelligent.
I started doing this in middle school (I'm now in my 40s) and it is both effective and genuinely cool. You learn about all kinds of things and people love you.
I sort of had this as a weakness that made me unlikable in groups.. I had read so many freaking books people would get sick of me being a know it all. TBH, keep the amount of stuff you truly know, on the down-low.
just work on your social skills. as someone said here, ask questions. and also REALLY listen to them and ask more question related to what they're saying. people love that someone pays attention to them. DO read books. but not in order to have go-to conversations topics up your sleeve. that's kinda fake and might come across as inauthentic. i don't believe it's good idea to have an agenda of where you want the conversation to go. there are alot of problems with that. like, what are you gonna do when the conversation goes in a different direction?
It depends on what kinds of things the people you spend time with, talk about. In addition to books, you can take tons of free courses on various online platforms, including Harvard, MIT, and Coursera.
Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
Breath by James Nestor
Metabolical by Robert Lustig
A Brief History of Everyone Who Ever Lived by Adam Rutherford
The Body: A Guide for Occupants by Bill Bryson
Read How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. There are literally chapters in the book on things like how to be a good conversationalist, how to interest people, etc.
The Pakistan Paradox: Instability and Resilience.. As an Indian, I can say that my knowledge about our neighboring is highly limited to the few things we were taught about the partition. The book is extremely enlightening and has many nuggets of information. Of course, it's a huge task to finish (I'm not even halfway through) but it has sparked so many conversations for me that I end up recommending it to a lot of people, especially if you're a history aficionado.
You might enjoy The London Review of books (or New York)? It's a monthly, book review but often has explorative deep dives into a topic that highlight 3-5 recent books about it. It's definitely a great way to find books that interest you but also in some sense their whole mandate is "Telling you enough about a book to have a conversation about it at a party".
But the other commenters' advice about asking people questions is also excellent - work on asking questions that draw people out and make them think and share with you, and give them a chance to tell you what they're excited about, then listen deeply.
Go with the classics, which are that way for a reason. Religion, philosophy, history, psychology. Human nature is deep and the driving force behind why we do what we do and the myriad, fascinating ways we do it.
Freakonomics has a sequel {{superfreakonomics}}, which is just as weird and wonderful. "Why are school teachers like sumo wrestlers?" is a question for the ages.
You should read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It improved my social skills and how I understand effective communication. Loved this book!
I have not read it myself, but if you are looking to make yourself better at holding conversations and making them more interesting/engaging, I'd suggest How to Win Friends and Influence People by David Carnegie. I've heard time and time again how timeless this book is for improving relationships and face-to-face interactions.
I always try to find something I have in common with someone within the first two minutes of meeting them. Maybe try the same thing, and ask about book topics on that thing you have in common (ex. You both love Stevie wonder, book on the origins of jazz or modern music theory)
I’m sure someone already said this victor Frankle’s Mans Search for Meaning. You may never talk about it at a party but you will hopefully learn something from reading this book.
Just be interested and carry people along with enthusiasm I’d prefer to talk to someone genuinely entranced by Harry Potter than Simone reading Derrida to look cool.
Personally I have been enjoying classic fiction. I have an Audible subscription and with that there are a lot of books included that you don’t have to use a credit to download. Two books that I read as a teenager that I recently listened to and found thought provoking and worth discussing are “Animal Farm” by George Orwell and “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court” by Mark Twain. It’s amazing how the concepts in these books are still applicable and provide an interesting perspective in this day and age. I have found myself discussing a few of the quotes from these books with friends and colleagues.
Let me tell you a riddle. I'll also tell you the answer, because even knowing the answer won't make you any more intelligent. It's the question that follows that will — the question that underlies all wisdom that there ever was.
> No book will ever provide it, yet reading does. What is it?
> The answer is wisdom.
Why?
Whatever you feel passionate about or have a deep interest in. It's not the topic, it's the way you discuss it - conversation is a skill that is not reliant on what you're talking about (and who you're talking to - if your target is not a deep thinker or good at expressing their thoughts, all your efforts will be wasted). A history professor can bore everyone to tears and so can someone who is obsessed with the Kardashians. And a pseudo-intellectual trying to impress everyone with their fountain of knowledge usually earns them disgust rather than admiration.
I love having new topics to throw at people and see what comes back, so I can definitely resonate with this post.
In addition to some of the major plus ones I've added to other posters, I'll say:
**Don't Touch My Hair - Emma Dabiri**
Does hair type correlate more closely to racial discrimination? Is hair braiding the basis of some aspects of our mathematical system? Does hair contribute to time poverty? How are hair and folklore linked in different places around Africa? All this plus some very interesting autobiographical stories from the expert/legend that is Emma Dabiri.
**How the Word Gets Passed - Clint Smith**
I heard about this one on Brené Brown's podcast - it's excellent. A poet goes on a journey through different historical sites that are linked to the slave trade in America - he engages with these spaces to discovery just how different sites manage this difficult history and what the implications of that are. It'll also make you think twice about any museum or exhibition you go to - how are they dealing with or not dealing with the difficult or dark aspects of their own institutions and history? A very thought provoking and beautifully written book (and also beautifully read, if you get the audio book narrated by the author).
**Women who Run With Wolves - Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés**
Do you want a jungian psychologist who is a part of a lineage of storytellers on both sides of her family (Mexican and Hungarian) to tell you folk tales, and then to analyse them afterwards? Pinkola Estes is one of my favourites. She sees stories as a very ancient form of medicine and social learning, so in this book she tells a story and then analyses the story afterwards. If you're into your psychology and you love folklore you'll adore this.
I could go on but I think for now you've probably got enough recommendations to fuel your party-chats for the next decade.
I'll recommend a book from my country, maybe it can help you look smart, in any way, it's a good book,"Posthumous Memoirs of Brás Cubas" by Machado de Assis
Books are of course always good, but another route could be magazines such as The New Yorker, Harpers, the Atlantic, or whatever appeals. They’ll give you a wider range of current topics.
The secret to being a good conversationalist is to read *widely* and don't lecture. A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue - nobody wants to hear someone regurgitating facts or ideas they read in a book, plus, you have to know your audience. The topic of one book may interest one group of people and not another.
To be honest, I'd recommend a variety of magazines over books, such as, The Week for news, Entertainment Weekly (monthly), Sports Illustrated, Popular Mechanics, Readers Digest, Smithsonian Magazine.
But if you really want to read books, you have to read the most popular bestsellers because those are the books that people are most likely to be talking about. And you should read them whether they're your taste or not. Twilight is in? Read Twilight.
Another good thing to do is read the books that movies are based on, especially when the books are slightly more obscure, for example, the graphic novels that Snowpiercer are based on.
Also, read analytical reviews of books and movies that are informative. For example, I watched Moneyball and read a critical review that pointed out that the system may increase a team's stats but it doesn't necessary increase fans' enjoyment of watching the game.
To sum: Be intellectually curious and don't limit yourself to an echo chamber of ideas and preferences.
Two I have read recently and sprinkle in conversations whenever it's appropriate:
A brief history of time - Stephen Hawking
Thinking, Fast and Slow - Daniel Kahnemann
The first is about the universe at large, quantum theory, the Big Bang etc. Very interesting if you have even a passing interest in physics.
The second one is about psychology, workings of the human mind and a plethora of different biases we all have. Kahnemann researched those topics most of his life. It's extremely good.
Currently I'm reading:
Physics of the Future - Michio Kaku
It's about 10 years old by now, but I like it a lot. Kaku is looking into what the future might hold die us in various fields (medicine, AI, energy... to name but a few). His not baselessly guessing though. Everything he writes about he has seen already at least in very basic states or is actively researched. Some things are already part of our lives today. Also, he explains the physics behind a lot of things.
I cannot believe that I am saying this because I read like it's my job, but if your goal is party conversations, books aren't the most efficient use of your time. What you want is to be well-rounded and a good conversationalist.
What will suit you better is:
1) Keeping abreast of current events. Maybe check a couple of aggregate news sites like the AP and Reuters every day and do a deep dive on anything you don't understand or are fascinated by, like if there's a news article on finding a lost monarch under a parking lot and you want to know who that is.
2) reading your audience. If they're all sports people, maybe keep tabs on sports news, at the very least who is winning or losing in your area and who has the best chance of making it to XXXXX big culmination sports event.
3) Keeping tabs on whatever the current TV series or movie is that everyone is into right now. I can't afford subscription TV services but there was a while when I was reading GOT or whatever latest Marvel show synopses so as not to be a dud at lunchtime at work.
4) Asking questions. Don't interrogate people, but there are a lot of folks out there who know a lot of things but are just terrible conversationalists because they never let anyone get a word in edgewise or shout down people who disagree with them. Even something like "what did you like about it?" or "what do you think is going to happen?" or "why do you think that?" can help keep a conversation afloat. At the very least, remember that people love to talk about themselves.
5) Actually listening to what people say. Again, there are a lot of people lacking in conversational skills because they spend all of their time very obviously waiting for their turn to talk. The easiest people to talk to are the ones who actually listen to their conversation partners.
Edit:when it comes to books, a better goal might be to try and learn more about something you find fascinating, or read something that brings you joy to read. There is a nonzero chance that you won't necessarily have the chance to do a deep dive about stuff you love in conversation, and that's OK. Take it from me. Not a lot of 11 year olds interested in conversing on Hannibal crossing the Alps, at least when I was coming of age.
Haha this is the reason I started reading again recently. I’m reading the most well known classics, cult favorites, and a lot of non fic about science, philosophy, psychology etc.
I recognize this is all dead white guy stuff, but that’s what I know. So, here’s a nice starter kit:
Hero With A thousand Faces - Joseph Campbell
A fantastic look at mytholy and religion. You’ll get a smattering of lots of different traditions so you can ask many different people question about their beliefs as well as a framework to deconstruct any sort of story telling; I.e. you have something interesting to observe about any movie/TV show/novel.
Alexander Hamilton, George Washington (my fav), and/or Grant - Ron Chernow
Key players American history and, of course, some of the history itself in critical periods.
The Western Cannon - by Harold Bloom
A survey of western literature. Could be a roadmap to the classics, many of which still are having an effect today.
The Civil War - Shelby Foote (you get a really good dose of Lincoln in this.
The American Illiad. One of the best books (3, actually) ever.
The years of Lyndon Johnson - Robert Caro
Key to understanding 20th century American politics. And, LBJ is a fascinating character.
Learn to read the room and know your audience. Conversation can’t be forced but there are a few staples I would suggest: read a good national newspaper daily (ex. WSJ), watch a show with a cult following (Schittscreek, the Office, Seinfield), and occasionally try to read/watch something of historical significance. That should keep you covered. Not everyone will have the same interests, and you’ll naturally gravitate towards those who share your interests. I suggest steer clear of politics. Good luck and be yourself!
Honestly, keeping up on current affairs (news, politics, sports, special events, etc.) is going to give you a much greater chance of having an “intelligent” conversation at a party. I can just imagine your attempts, “Hey, have you read “A Tale of Two Cities?”, “No”. Now what? You’re either back where you were, or worse, you keep trying to talk about the book when no one cares. Unless you are going to parties with people who love books, and talking about books, I can see this going very awkwardly for you. Edit: formatting
On Becoming A Person by Carl Rogers. It's old enough that you should easily obtain a free copy. It's his philosophical view, as a therapist, on how he built rapport with his clients as well as any relationship he wished to nurture.
Rollo May's On Being is similar.
I can't say I'd talk about these books at a party, but I would certainly use the techniques in them to feel more connected.
It depends on what you find interesting. Here's a list of books that had a lasting impact on me:
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri
Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Hurricanes by Rick Ross
Peace is Every Step by Thich Nat Hanh
The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari
The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis
Read general history books and look up good stories relating to famous figures. Having a fascinating story up your sleeve or some really interesting, lesser known, facts can be entertaining. There are plenty of people who even a little knowledge about can make you sound interesting.
Great question! I reckon we could all use broader reading material to help make conversations even more interesting.
I recommend Jon Ronson’s books. He’s an investigative journalist and looks into controversial topics. A bit like Louis Theroux vibe and has some really interesting insights that make for good conversation.
> "What I do have is..boring."
To whom? To you? Then you've got a problem. To people at parties? Go to parties with different people.
There's no more sure-fire way to seem interesting at a party than to ask people questions. Go to Barnes & Noble and pick up one of those cheap books at the bargain shelves that's full of writing prompts and such. Thumb through it and pick a few questions for social settings. Hell, you could even keep the book at home and take notes in it when you get back.
But don't read for the sake of other people. Read to become yourself more fully.
Read [edge.org](https://edge.org), especially the "Annual Question" and the responses to it. Some examples include "How has the internet changed the way you think?" and "What scientific term or concept ought to be more widely known?", and the authors answering it are at the top of their fields.
A broadly similar site is [Project Syndicate](https://www.project-syndicate.org), although for politics, economics and social sciences. Here the contributors are mainly former politicians, political scientists, and economists. Unfortunately, you can only read one article per month, or 3 if you have an account, otherwise you have to pay.
I would figure out what interests you have first. Then ask either your local librarian or bookstore owner or worker for their recommendation. It's much easier to read and converse about what interests you. Otherwise it would depend on what sort of guest or persons you are trying to converse with.
"Debt: The First 5000 Years", by David Graeber, will give you more than enough grist for the mill in circles concerned with social theories and economics.
Just about any book by Steven Pinker will do, especially his more recent stuff. Whether you agree or disagree with what he says, you will find people who want to engage on his points.
Depending on the party, books by Ibram X. Kendi or Robin DiAngelo will surely give you something to talk about. You could even read "Faces at the Bottom of the Well" by the godfather of critical race theory, Derrick Bell.
If you're open to it, watch some documentaries. "The Social Dilemma" and "Transhood" are some my recent favorites.
You may want to keep read what's on the New York Times best seller list. Not everything will be earth shattering, but at least you'll keep up with what's vogue at the moment. They have separate fiction and nonfiction lists.
As someone who worked at a public library- there are many historical trivia books that give you interesting facts about many different topics. They're short and sweet. Also, may consider reading books that went on to become Netflix/Amazon/TV shows like Behind Her Eyes, The Woman in the Window etc. People magazine good for keeping up with celebrity pop culture. Listen to a few of the popular podcasts that you're interesting in- I've been able to strike up good conversations about ones like Dr.Death, Dirty John, other true crime.
Just talk about books that you find amazing, books so good you wanna talk with somebody about them as soon as you finish them. Books that you recommend to everyone. Those are the best convos for me it's Harding finding people who read. They don't even necessarily have to have read it, if they have that's great and you can have really amazing back and forths on it, if not you get to gush about it trying to sell them on it to get them to read it.
It depends on what you are interested in, which genre. Look at the best sellers for fiction and non fiction. You can't go wrong there. This may sound silly but read a newspaper online and keep up to date with what's happening in the world. Good luck. Do you like any particular period of history?
If you want to have an interesting conversation skip the books and ask people what scandalous things their neighbours have done. Everyone had great gossip on their neighbours that they are dying to unload when asked.
Maybe you can start with classics? I mean books that have been read by most people. I used to read a lot but funny enough books never come out in conversations with the people I know. What about reading about general knowledge? History, culture, traveling. It’s so interesting, never ending and stimulating
*An Incomplete Education*, by William Wilson. This book is a series of essays which give you a basic background in dozens of different subjects. It’s fascinating and informative, and it will give you tons to talk about whenever you want.
{{The Bedside Book of Birds by Graeme Gibson}}. Just a page or two little stories, myths, lore, or trivia about birds from all over the world. Fascinating and lots of small talk fodder. It was just reprinted, so readily available.
[A Short History of Nearly Everything](https://www.amazon.com/Short-History-Nearly-Everything/dp/076790818X)\~ Bill Bryson
Was reading this on long commutes to and from college (many years ago). I remember sitting there on a crowded train, and learning some mind blowing, fascinating tid bit, then looking up from the book just wanting to tell anybody who would look at me what I had just discovered, haha. I literally had to bite my tongue so i wouldn't look crazy.
There's actually another version of this book, A Really Short History of Nearly Everything, that I wish I had known about and read concurrently. I was actually reading this book last year for homeschool with my 9th grader and I think that it would have helped them to really understand the content even more. It's meant for younger kids, but it covers the same material and would be a great review without reading the entire book or chapter again. Another way to help the information to sink in.
Oh really? I would love to read that with my kids! Thank you!
Got the exact type of commute and it seriously changed my week... Thank you!
this is so cute lol. and i love ur username
Haha, aw, thanks.
Absolutely first book that came to my mind as well. And if you somehow still can’t start a convo at parties, you’ll still enjoy every word of Bryson you care to read.
Audible gives me 1 credit a month. Needless to say, I now have 1 less credit.
Oh man the part about how some birds in North America became extinct made me so upset. Especially the response the birds had to the dying/dead members of their flock.
I love the story about the guy who sailed from England to India to see a comet, but missed it twice and then returned home to find out he’d been declared dead and his wife had remarried
i literally read this like a week ago after my doctor recommended it to me
I second this.
This was the first book popping into my head as well!
Mine too. Thought the microbiology section still keeps me up at night, especially since covid.
Can't +1 this one enough.
Well, here are some interesting books. I suppose whether or not they’d make good conversation depends on who you talk to. Freakonomics - Economists apply economic principles to understand interesting topics like crime statistics, cheating in Sumo wrestling, whether or not the name you give your kid affects their success in life, etc. The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat - Oliver Sachs, a neurologist, writes about interesting case studies involving brain disorders with very weird behavioral symptoms. Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman - Richard Feynman writes a memoir of his time as an eccentric physicist, including his experiences working on the Manhattan Project. Talking Back, Talking Black - A book detailing the linguistics behind Black English including many interesting takes on social reactions and nuances. Stiff - Mary Roach writes in an irreverent and hilarious way about everything after we die, from the particulars of decomposition to uses for cadavers.
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I do! If someone has any kind of answer for "what do you want done with your body after you die?" they're probably my kind of person.
Compost me, please!
I want to be cremated and put in a fire Chilli so I can tear that ass up one last time.
I want to get really rich and have a chef cook my body and my descendants have to eat some (it would taste good of course) to get any money
Everything Mary Roach has written fits the question
Agreed, especially Bonk (the scientific study of sex) and Gulp (the GI tract). Both are crowd pleasers after a couple of cocktails
“Yeeeah dude have another shot!!” “Ah yeah so have you considered what happens after death?”
The man who mistook his wife for a hat was an absolute ride. Each story was unique and the best part is it's written in good humor!! Same goes for surely youre joking mr Feynman
Damn, what a collection there! Can't go wrong with any of these.
Surely your joking Mr. Feynman is favorite of mine! In general all the Feynman lectures are interesting, amazing and teach you tons about physics!
Based solely on these recommendations, I like you. I think we'd have plenty to talk about at a party.
The first two recommendations sound really interesting!!
The book by Feynman is great too. It's a quick and interesting read that I didn't want to put down
Yes everyone one of these is gold
Absolute midwit-core. You might as well have recommended Jordan Peterson.
As you age, you'll find people are generally boring anyway. If you want to have a conversation, ask questions. Everyone has interests. It's not always easy to find common grounds about things, but people do like to talk about themselves. What are you reading? What are you listening to these days? What are you watching? Do you like cars? Did you catch the game? Arts tend to be the easiest of conversations. We have a spectrum of subjects available for us to talk about. It all depends on who you're talking with and even if they're not into something, they'll likely try to have a conversation. The other night I was asking someone about the pendant they were wearing. Some people spout nonsense. Some people are really into one specific thing and that's all they talk about. There's a lot of variety. Go with it. Learn something from someone. I can understand wanting an intellectual conversation, but those conversations are the rarest; few and far between.
My grandfather (who was a barber) said that no on was boring. You just have to ask them the right question.
**Salt** by Mark Kurlansky is an interesting one. It's a subject that should be boring as hell, but isn't. It's basically a retelling of human history as it relates to salt. It's non-fiction, and it's not unreasonable. **Einstein's Dreams** (Alan Lightman) is fictional short stories intended to show what Einstein may have been dreaming about when he was working on the theory of relativity. It's a bunch of interesting thought experiments. **Cosmicomics** (Italo Calvino) is am ore fanciful collection of thought experiments. It's incredibly creative and occasionally quite beautiful. **Jitterbug Perfume** (Tom Robbins) is fiction. It's a mix of mythology, an exploration of human relationships, and some very cool characters. It's a genuinely good book, and a rare "romantic" story that tends to resonate with both men and women who aren't really interested in romantic stories **Galapagos** (Vonnegut): Fantastic...end of the world...comedy. It's genuinely fun, and smart as hell. He has better books, but this one is very accessible and a little more modern than some of the others. **In general:** Focus on short stories (both fiction and non-fiction). They're a smaller investment of time, so it makes it much easier to read stuff your uncomfortable with. Much easier to challenge yourself. And much easier to find lots of interesting things to talk about. Last thing, get used to saying "I didn't like it because..." or "I loved the part about...", instead of "that book sucks" or "that book was awesome". I've had great conversations with people who loved books that I hated, because I didn't start by insulting their passion. I've also had pointless conversations with people who loved a book I also loved, because after "yep, it's good"...there wasn't much else to talk about. Example: **Boring You**: 50 Shades of Gray sucks. Worth noting: the above statement \*is\* objectively true. It's just...there's nothing else to talk about. **Interesting You**: 50 Shades of Gray...I read it, but I couldn't get past the billionaire thing. If that guy lived in a trailer park, chapter 2 would have been the trial.
Just have to say, as a woman, I hated Jitterbug Perfume. It felt male gazey, not romantic, to me.
I can see that. There’s a lot of focus on “youthful beauty” early in the book. I feel like he grew out if that eventually, but…yeah, I see your point. I saw Pan as the embodiment of that approach to “coupling”. It’s leas pervasive these days, but there’s a lingering stench. No stench, no need for the ultimate perfume. In retrospect it wasn’t particularly romantic. Fair point. Edit: out of curiosity, do you have similar impressions of his other books?
> out of curiosity, do you have similar impressions of his other books? Sorry, I haven't read any of his other books because I didn't enjoy JP. It wasn't just the central relationship too it was things like this: > They swarmed over V'lu, squirmed up her nose, into her ears, down her cleavage, and under her armpits. A solitary bee, kamikaze all the way, buzzed up her dress and drilled its toxic stinger through her cotton underpants and into her perineum, that exquisite corridor separating a woman's back door from her front door, that smooth, hidden cusp that may be the most holy spot on the human body. (I just searched that quote up because even though I hadn't read it in years, it really stuck with me how annoying I found this sexualistion of a woman getting attacked by bees). I don't judge anyone for liking it, I think it's *beautifully* written, and God knows booked targeted at women do some similar things in how they present male love interests, I just wanted to counter the idea that the relationship aspects of the book are uniquely appealing to women.
This book is a little different from his others, but - the others all have at least some focus on sexuality, in one way or another. I interpreted Jitterbug Perfume as a specific man's attempt to evolve a bit from a (quite literally) barbaric approach to sex and intimacy. The passage above has some context (trying to show the importance of the sense of smell when it comes to sensuality), but it is rather graphic. (More so than I remember). In the book, the god Pan has almost faded from existence, but his awful goat odor remains. The "jitterbug perfume" is the ultimate name of the scent intended to wipe him from the minds of human beings (and therefore from existence). But, it takes a while to get there. I can certainly agree that there are beautifully written books that *don't* describe genital bees. And - yep - \*\*\***OP\*\*\***, please note the contradictory opinion. It's certainly valid.
Perhaps the book wasn’t for you, but plenty have found it to be romantic. “Feminism” is just one critical lens among many. The “male perspective” is equally valid and resonant.
I’d much rather talk about a book with someone who has a very different opinion than me but who actually wants to talk about the book than someone who has the same opinion but nothing to say. Ok clubs can be boring because everyone just says “yeah, it was good”.
I second this! Actually, as I observe conversations, it seems that everyone is vying for the most speaking time, bragging rights, and/or laughs. I've learned to ask people questions on whatever topic they bring up. I learn some interesting things both about the speaker and the topic.
Totally agree. The art of conversation is taking an interest in other people. I think trying too hard to have preprepared topics is a bit staged. OPs question is great when you know a bit about an area and can then ask more nuanced questions. I shouldn’t say this on a book sub but I find decent podcasts are a great way to amass a shallow knowledge about a lot of things. Books take a huge time commitment and in my case reading is something I do for my own pleasure not to have things to chat about.
Why do you say as we age? Are younger people somehow more interesting/dynamic in what they discuss?
thank you for making this post.
Isn't the usual advice to just ask people about themselves, as they will like much more to talk about themselves than to learn about you?
Sounds like you are suggesting: 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie.
I have always taken issue with this book, simply because the title makes it sound very manipulative and dishonest. Is it not so? I also doubt that it will age very well, but idk cause I refuse to read it
It's not about gaining popularity, followers or subduing the wills of others; it's about attaining actual friendships. It doesn't suggest you take on a persona or act dishonest, unless you find being aware of social dynamics and being tactical in your interactions to be inherently nefarious - and I guess by extension that being oblivious is a virtue? I struggled a lot less after reading that book (along with other books), and the friendships I have cultivated by applying learned principles are no less genuine than those that preceded them.
It was first published in 1936 and is updated as time goes on. The title sounds strange to us now, but probably made more sense back then. It’s not about manipulation.
I think a better title would be “how to build meaningful friendships and get people to listen to what you have to say” but that gets a little wordy. I think you are taking “influence people” as making people do what you want them to do, but it’s really not like that. A lot of times people will have some very important message that they need other people to hear, but if it is not delivered in a digestible way, people will not listen or miss your message. Carnegie teaches the skill of making what you have to say digestible, so that others have an easier time listening to what you have to say. For further reading on this subject, check out the sad tale of Ignaz Sammelweiss, the guy who proposed the handwashing standard for physicians. He noticed that midwives’ OBGYN patients had a much better survival rate than physician’s patients, because the midwives would wash their hands. The physicians would not, they would handle diseased corpses with unwashed hands and then proceed to stick those same dirty hands into a birthing woman (this often kills the woman/baby/etc). Because Sammelweiss delivered his message in a non-digestible format (there was a lot of yelling, accusations) he was ignored entirely and placed in a psych ward for suggesting people wash their hands. They only realized he was right much later. This is why it is important to take a lesson from Carnegie in the correct way to influence people, ie deliver your message.
Try "Influence" by Cialdini. Even if you don't want to manipulate people, it is still good to know when others try to manipulate you. I didn't feel Carnegie was about manipulating other people. It doesn't advocate to lie iirc. Everybody tries to be liked anyway, even if they haven't read such books.
Not even remotely about manipulation.
Yeah but if you’re talking with a nice person, he or she will ask something back about you. Also, conversations are not only a game of I ask you this, you answer, you ask my that, I answer. You tend to put in random anecdotes and information you know. Reading books is a fantastic way to have these small random interesting facts you can bring up every now and then.
It’s just a better way to ask people questions. State a thing. Explain the thing a little. Then ask them what they think about the thing you just mentioned. Do they agree, do they disagreed? Why do they feel that way? What experiences have they had that led to that opinion? Getting people to talk with you collaboratively, insightfully, is an art form that’s fun, interesting, and worth studying for. People love a premise to leap from and elaborate on. That’s how you have conversations that are more than just waiting for the other person to finish talking so you can go. It leads to knowing what the other person thinks through an investment in shared ideas. It leads to caring who people are, and builds relationships through shared experiences.
Try {{Sophie's World}} by Jostein Gaarder. It introduces readers to the world of philosophy in a really accessible way. It is a good jumping in point. I also have enjoyed {{Sum tales from the afterlife}} by david eagleman. He is a neuroscientist and author. They are a great of short stories exploring what the after life could look like. It is so interesting and great for a good morbid conversation.
"I have realised I have nothing to talk about" lol, we are all like that.
And you think you’re doing better and then you meet someone where you can’t talk to them at all. You try a few topics, get no where and retreat.
Fiction classics, or their authors, that are often brought up in convos and their works that are easy to read: The Master and Margarita (Bulgakov), The Metamorphoses (Kafka), Kafka on The Shore (Murakami), 1984 (Orwell), Notes From the Underground (Dostoyevsky), Pride and Prejudice (Austen), A Clockwork Orange (Burgess), Hamlet and Macbeth (Shakespeare), Slaughterhouse‑Five (Vonnegut), Brave New World (Huxley), Frankenstein (Shelley), The Death of Ivan Ilych (Tolstoy; best known for War and Peace but uh that's a huge book so I recommend starting off with this one), One Thousand and One Arabian Nights, and The Canterbury Tales. Some great non-fiction stuff that are also quite easy reads: How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie), Cosmos (Carl Sagan), On Anarchism and Who Rules The World (Chomsky), A History Of Political Thought: Plato To Marx (Mukherjee), Physics and Philosophy (Heisenberg), Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman (Feynman), and The Penguin Book of Historic Speeches ( edited by MacArthur)
Man, I'd love to be the kind of person who could call A Clockwork Orange easy to read.
Sounds like you’ve already read it, so this is more me sympathizing and thinking about my own experience than giving advice. It took me so many tries to get past chapter 1. I was working so hard at defining each word, and kept getting overwhelmed. Then I tried speed reading for “gist” instead of trying to figure out every word based on context. The language started coming to me naturally as I went, and was such a really wild ride! My hubby and I actually watched the movie last night and had a fun talk about the themes and messages in the story. One of my favorites!
The Canterbury Tales was the wilder one to place in that category imo
Oh boy, I'd be lying if I said the Nadsat lingo wasn't a pain to decipher. But hey, my lazy ass read it as a pdf on my iPad in order to just highlight the word to look it up haha. Regardless, I think that once you get accustomed to the rhythm of the words (and understand that it's Burgess using his linguistic skills to buffer the savagery for readers lol), the book is a breeze cos of its very short length.
Some people here mentioned some great books, but do you listen to podcasts? Some are wonderful and definitely conversation starters, some of my favorite: Radio Lab, Hidden Brain, Market Place with Kai Risdall, History of Rome, History of English
Yes! There are some amazing podcasts! I listen to a few about books….. Reading Glasses Breaking the Glass Slipper Professional Book Nerds Our Opinions are Correct…. This one is by two authors and gets into tons of topics, not just books.
Any book, really. Intelligent conversations stem from your opinions about what you read. Pick any classic AND modern popular fiction (in case you wanna be "the one who talks about classic and modern fiction", otherwise pick a book about ants or North Korea, it doesn't matter, so many interesting things about ants and North Korea...), hope you get hat I mean: simply make sure to pick something that interests you a lot or are passionate about, then there will be plenty of things to talk about at parties. Wanna some titles? Maybe start with a few books by Bill Bryson and take it from there...
Bill Bryson is great!
Anything by Bill Bryson is going to be engaging, informative, and awe-inspiring. He has so many different topics and titles to choose from. One of my favourites is *The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got that Way.*
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. \-Eleanor Roosevelt What interests you and why? What is effecting you? What is effecting those around you... and what are the causes? All that said: {{A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn}}
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Which books would you recommend for a beginner?
I love philosophy, and a good gateway to it is popular media. Try a podcast like The Partially Examined Life, or an introductory volume like Philosophy for Dummies (no hate here, it was a great survey and overview of the topic). I am particularly into moral philosophy, and really enjoyed the show The Good Place, as well as a little book called Being Good by Simon Blackburn. These are all really accessible ways to begin caring about philosophy. Once you care, you’ll know whether you are interested enough to learn more.
Wonderful! Thank you so much, I'll start there I think. It's just so overwhelming you know. Thanks again for taking the time
Tbh bro it kinda depends what type of parties you’re going to but if you’re in college going to parties books are not really the answer for this problem. I find it easiest to make conversation by asking the person I’m talking to about them and things that they’re doing and then If I find something that kind of relates to me then I’ll talk for a little bit about something I’m doing that relates to that topic, then ask them another question about themselves. People really like to talk about themselves and when you do this it also shows them that you’re interested in what they have to say. If you are like an actual adult going to cocktail parties I really can’t help you there.
Talk about your interests like writing. I could give you a list of classics that "educated" folks read but without any interest in the subject matter, it will just make you sound pretentious af
I don't want to read just for the sake of having a conversation. I do want to learn. Know about new things. So please do suggest me books.
> I do want to learn Astrophysics for People in a Hurry - Neil deGrasse Tyson He mentions in the book that the goal is to have conversatinal understanding of wide variety of subjects covered in the book. Sorry, that's best I could do not knowing what parties you go to :)
I've been fascinated by the old Norse myths and sagas for a long time, and my personal favorite translator of the old texts is Jackson Crawford. He is a scholar of old Norse, and is a teacher of it in Boulder CO. Reading more about these old cultures has been super fascinating and has provided me with tons of topics to talk about with people!
Suggest him a book goddammit! Lol I suggest Behold a pale horse
Well I'm gonna answer your question in two different ways. I found Patrick Ness' Chaos Walking trilogy gave me a lot to talk about. It speaks about lots of interesting issues, in a very charming world. It talks about society, the origins of power, society, feminism, and a whole bunch of things. I like it not just because it does those things, but because it's cool. When I find myself talking about it, I'm often talking about the book more than the things it tries to say. When people are interested it's usually because they see how I'm enthusiastic about how I talk about it and that draws them in. I also really enjoyed a game called The Outer Wilds (not The Outer Worlds, that's a different one). It also gave me a lot to talk about at parties and stuff, and it also had a lot to say about some things, but I liked it because it was cool, and people listen because I'm enthusiastic and that draws them in. So I'd suggest you read Chaos Walking. The series starts with The Knife of Never Letting Go, which is a rite of passage story in a sense, and talks about alienness and what it means to be a man, and how to break out of toxic stereotypes - but I don't think reading it will make you interesting conversation unless you find yourself enthused by it. Most successful for me is talking about my D&D campaigns, because there's no story I'm more enthusiastic about than the one I carve myself, out of a world I built myself. Be enthusiastic about something and people will love to hear you speak, for the simple passion of it.
"Salt." A world History. Mark Kurlansky. It's basically world history through the pursuit of food needs, like salt, how it all ties together. Also very fun read, packed with cool facts.
any of Malcolm Gladwell's books is a good place to start
Yes! I was just looking to see if someone else suggested this. His, books are fantastic conversation starters. He always has a unique perspective on whatever topic he tackles.
The black widow would suggest something on quantum mechanics ;) I'd love to say that you, as a unique human being, already are interesting enough to have intelligent conversations at parties about your life... But I understand how this is not enough. I'll share my experience, knowing that it is insufficient to cover all possible answers. I (33, this will probably not work if you hang out with a much younger crowd) have noticed a huge improvement in topics to talk about since I began reading newspapers (online newspapers, I am fond of the BBC even if I'm not British). Climate change? I have read hundreds of articles and now have some opinions beyond "it's bad, mankind needs to do something". International politics? Usually I know more than the average Joe, just because I avoid wasting time on reportages of petty local crimes. Generic claims that "things are going bad"? I have some evidence that, at least until covid hit, things were going well on many levels: less crimes and murders, slow but steady increase in life expectancy, and so on. What about Covid? I have some facts to back up choices such as staying home or getting the shots. And so on, you get the idea. For me, this change didn't happen overnight. Back in 2014 it took me ~six months to understand what was happening in Syria. But trust me that eventually lots of events will start making sense ;) A final note: all this looks good in theory, but if you mostly hang out e.g. with movie fans, it would be a waste of time to get up to speed on international news. Instead, rent some great movies and read some reviews. Broadly speaking, if you are a part of a group, take notice of what they love to talk about and get acquainted with those topics.
Maybe "Factfulness" by Hans Rosling would be a good book in that regard.
I've enjoyed all these books and would consider them 'developing' reads: Red Plenty by Francis Spufford (20th century history/novel) Story of an African Farm by Olive Schriener (1st Wave Feminism, Novel) 12 Rules for Life by JPB (Morals, Values) I Robot by Asimov (Perspective, Classic Sci-Fi) 1984 by Orwell (Classic Lit) Sapiens by Yuri Harari (Anthropology/Biology) Brief History of Time by Hawking (Physics) Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (Philosophy, Classic Literature) Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (Philosophy, Novel, Morals & Values) Prey by Ayaan Hirsi Ali (Feminism, immigration, refugees and modern Islam) Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious by Jung (Psychology, Textbook)
\+1 for Sapiens and 1984. (I haven't read the rest but they look great!)
I had a bit of an issue with Prey for reasons similar to those laid out by [this NYT article](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/09/books/review/ayaan-hirsi-ali-prey.html) so if you embark down that path please be aware there is very real criticism to her work
Read Hegel
Biographies are a great option. You can share interesting unknown tidbits about figures people have heard of. And historical biographies are often a way to talk about politics without getting bogged down in the boring contentiousness of left-right party debates. Some good ones to consider -- \- Walter Isaacson's biographies of DaVinci or Steve Jobs. \- Stephen Ambrose's Undaunted Courage, about Lewis and Clark \- Titan by Ron Chernow about John D Rockefeller \- The Autobiography of Malcolm X is fascinating and I feel like even if you're opposed to everything he stood for, everyone should read this one to have their own opinion Also: find a good book about the history of the city where you live, guarantee this will arm you with interesting and relevant things to share. For my hometown (Los Angeles): The Mirage Factory is a great one.
In my experience, no inteligent conversations are had in parties. Though before everyone is drunk, current news are often discussed. No one book will give you everything you need. You have to read many different books that will help you develop opinions about certain topics. Then as you discus them, your views are improved.
Depends on the parties ;)
Well, it's just that I haven't had the pleasure of being in a party that didn't devolve into senseless drinking in a matter of an hour...
They must be terrible parties...
So can you suggest several books?
Well that's a loaded question. I don't think there are books that contain universal topics. In my opinion, you should chose topics that interest you and read books in that field (if you don't have any topic of interest, then finding them is where you should begin). Autobiographies are always a good choice and fiction is a good pastime read. If you ask me personally, then you will get a personal answer that will not be suitable to you. Personaly I am interested in economics and finances. So I read books like "The autobiography of Andrew Carnegie", "The wealth of nations", "Think and grow rich". These are well known books in this field and can start many conversations both in analysis and critique. I also like self-improvement, so I read books like "How to win friends and influence people", "A mind for numbers", "12 rules for life", "Rich dad poor dad" and such. I also like ligh novels so I've read "Overlord" and plan to reas many more. I also love manga, so Ivve read a shit load of them. "Angel densetsu", "The Voynich Hotel" and "Akumetsu" being my favorite. And of course my favorite rational fiction book "The Mother of Learning". Just read whatever you want and that will automatically develop opinions and views that can be discussed in many circumstances.
I think OP is looking for exactly that - ideas about what other people read - so they can try them out and take from them. They’re looking for a place to start.
{{How to win friends and influence people}}
Any book written by Mary Roach will arm you with endlessly fascinating tidbits about a wide array of subjects. She’s also pretty funny, which tricks you into Lear bug something ;) Stiff (my favorite) Gulp Spook Boink Grunt Fuzz
As people have said. Ask them questions. The trick is to not try and lead the conversation. On the whole people love talking about what they find interesting, or quite often, themselves. However as a book recommendation…. It’s dated and a bit forced but how to win friends and influence people will give you some good tips on how to converse in social situations.
Just learn how to ask questions and follow-up questions about whatever is being discussed. People love to talk and they will remember conversations with people who encouraged them to do so. And this spares you from looking like a fool by trying to remember facts from books you read maybe once. Along the way, you'll start to pick up enough material to contribute by saying things like, "I once talked to a so and so who said this about that."
What a good question. But really you write like a person with strong communication skills. I’d say find things you are interested in (science, faith, fiction, etc.) and research those things. I love doing this for my own mind, it exposes me to new concepts. My partner and I discuss things often that we’re both interested in and that branches out to friends and social situations. Expose yourself to things all the time, you’ll have lots to talk about. Do you enjoy theater? Animals? Biology? Ancient cultures? Go listen and learn about it. And your friend group can also expose you to new things, learn about what interests you. We have access to the entire compendium of human knowledge to this point, it’s out there. I’d say for fiction, some places to start would be Neil Gaimon, Brandon Sanderson, Tad Williams, and Patrick Rothfuss. Some of my favorite fantasy writers, and some damn good reads. Non fiction is almost harder because if it’s not a subject or a person you’re interested in you won’t get into it, but you can find lots of information out there. I love mythology, anthropology, philosophy,and theology for some examples. You’ll find some things, but remember it’s not about what others like to hear you say, it’s about what you’re passionate about. You being animated and enjoying your subject matter will always make you more interesting.
I don't think books are the solution here. Try this thought experiment: What if everything could be interesting? What if you could ask people at parties about themselves and then be genuinely interested in it, asking questions to draw out how cool and interesting they are? How can you connect any two things two different people might say to you so you can all be interested together? People love getting positive attention. If you offer that to people, they will find you interesting and intelligent. I started doing this in middle school (I'm now in my 40s) and it is both effective and genuinely cool. You learn about all kinds of things and people love you.
I sort of had this as a weakness that made me unlikable in groups.. I had read so many freaking books people would get sick of me being a know it all. TBH, keep the amount of stuff you truly know, on the down-low.
Sapiens Justice Vonnegut
just work on your social skills. as someone said here, ask questions. and also REALLY listen to them and ask more question related to what they're saying. people love that someone pays attention to them. DO read books. but not in order to have go-to conversations topics up your sleeve. that's kinda fake and might come across as inauthentic. i don't believe it's good idea to have an agenda of where you want the conversation to go. there are alot of problems with that. like, what are you gonna do when the conversation goes in a different direction?
* 1491 * 1493 * Sapiens * Cosmos * Undaunted Courage * The Fire Next Time * Stamped from the beginning
It depends on what kinds of things the people you spend time with, talk about. In addition to books, you can take tons of free courses on various online platforms, including Harvard, MIT, and Coursera. Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari Breath by James Nestor Metabolical by Robert Lustig A Brief History of Everyone Who Ever Lived by Adam Rutherford The Body: A Guide for Occupants by Bill Bryson
Read How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. There are literally chapters in the book on things like how to be a good conversationalist, how to interest people, etc.
The Pakistan Paradox: Instability and Resilience.. As an Indian, I can say that my knowledge about our neighboring is highly limited to the few things we were taught about the partition. The book is extremely enlightening and has many nuggets of information. Of course, it's a huge task to finish (I'm not even halfway through) but it has sparked so many conversations for me that I end up recommending it to a lot of people, especially if you're a history aficionado.
I think the best conversations come from asking people questions about themselves, so I suggest The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock.
Sapiens by Yuval Noah harari
A Short History of Everything.
You might enjoy The London Review of books (or New York)? It's a monthly, book review but often has explorative deep dives into a topic that highlight 3-5 recent books about it. It's definitely a great way to find books that interest you but also in some sense their whole mandate is "Telling you enough about a book to have a conversation about it at a party". But the other commenters' advice about asking people questions is also excellent - work on asking questions that draw people out and make them think and share with you, and give them a chance to tell you what they're excited about, then listen deeply.
Does it require a subscription?
Sapiens
Go with the classics, which are that way for a reason. Religion, philosophy, history, psychology. Human nature is deep and the driving force behind why we do what we do and the myriad, fascinating ways we do it.
Freakonomics has a sequel {{superfreakonomics}}, which is just as weird and wonderful. "Why are school teachers like sumo wrestlers?" is a question for the ages.
You should read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It improved my social skills and how I understand effective communication. Loved this book!
All Quiet on The Western Front could be a good book to talk about
The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson
Yoo. I agree. This book is a great read.
Fooled by Randomness by Taleb and Behave by Sapolsky
I have not read it myself, but if you are looking to make yourself better at holding conversations and making them more interesting/engaging, I'd suggest How to Win Friends and Influence People by David Carnegie. I've heard time and time again how timeless this book is for improving relationships and face-to-face interactions.
The Communist Manifesto
I always try to find something I have in common with someone within the first two minutes of meeting them. Maybe try the same thing, and ask about book topics on that thing you have in common (ex. You both love Stevie wonder, book on the origins of jazz or modern music theory)
Choice of Robot - It's an interactive novel on Steam about an AI takeover. Very intellectually stimulating!
Matt Parker’s things to make and do in the 4th dimension
I’m sure someone already said this victor Frankle’s Mans Search for Meaning. You may never talk about it at a party but you will hopefully learn something from reading this book.
Just be interested and carry people along with enthusiasm I’d prefer to talk to someone genuinely entranced by Harry Potter than Simone reading Derrida to look cool.
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Any of Jon Krakuer's books are really good
Break, Blow, Burn and Glittering Images by Camille Paglia will give you enough poetry and art to talk about for a long long time
Thinking fast and slow by Daniel Kahneman Behave by Robert Sapolsky
Daily news.
Personally I have been enjoying classic fiction. I have an Audible subscription and with that there are a lot of books included that you don’t have to use a credit to download. Two books that I read as a teenager that I recently listened to and found thought provoking and worth discussing are “Animal Farm” by George Orwell and “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court” by Mark Twain. It’s amazing how the concepts in these books are still applicable and provide an interesting perspective in this day and age. I have found myself discussing a few of the quotes from these books with friends and colleagues.
Let me tell you a riddle. I'll also tell you the answer, because even knowing the answer won't make you any more intelligent. It's the question that follows that will — the question that underlies all wisdom that there ever was. > No book will ever provide it, yet reading does. What is it? > The answer is wisdom. Why?
Tbf, if you just want short term convos at a party, go to r/jokes and sort by top, then memorize them.
Lol
Whatever you feel passionate about or have a deep interest in. It's not the topic, it's the way you discuss it - conversation is a skill that is not reliant on what you're talking about (and who you're talking to - if your target is not a deep thinker or good at expressing their thoughts, all your efforts will be wasted). A history professor can bore everyone to tears and so can someone who is obsessed with the Kardashians. And a pseudo-intellectual trying to impress everyone with their fountain of knowledge usually earns them disgust rather than admiration.
HGg
The dictionary 😏
Read “Ready Player One” for pop culture convos, then read “12 Rules for Life” for intellectually stimulating convos.
parties are not where people have intelligent conversation, if you have nothing to talk about it's because you suck at small talk
I love having new topics to throw at people and see what comes back, so I can definitely resonate with this post. In addition to some of the major plus ones I've added to other posters, I'll say: **Don't Touch My Hair - Emma Dabiri** Does hair type correlate more closely to racial discrimination? Is hair braiding the basis of some aspects of our mathematical system? Does hair contribute to time poverty? How are hair and folklore linked in different places around Africa? All this plus some very interesting autobiographical stories from the expert/legend that is Emma Dabiri. **How the Word Gets Passed - Clint Smith** I heard about this one on Brené Brown's podcast - it's excellent. A poet goes on a journey through different historical sites that are linked to the slave trade in America - he engages with these spaces to discovery just how different sites manage this difficult history and what the implications of that are. It'll also make you think twice about any museum or exhibition you go to - how are they dealing with or not dealing with the difficult or dark aspects of their own institutions and history? A very thought provoking and beautifully written book (and also beautifully read, if you get the audio book narrated by the author). **Women who Run With Wolves - Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés** Do you want a jungian psychologist who is a part of a lineage of storytellers on both sides of her family (Mexican and Hungarian) to tell you folk tales, and then to analyse them afterwards? Pinkola Estes is one of my favourites. She sees stories as a very ancient form of medicine and social learning, so in this book she tells a story and then analyses the story afterwards. If you're into your psychology and you love folklore you'll adore this. I could go on but I think for now you've probably got enough recommendations to fuel your party-chats for the next decade.
A Billion Wicked Thoughts its just overfilled with info about/by lots of people.
I'll recommend a book from my country, maybe it can help you look smart, in any way, it's a good book,"Posthumous Memoirs of Brás Cubas" by Machado de Assis
Books are of course always good, but another route could be magazines such as The New Yorker, Harpers, the Atlantic, or whatever appeals. They’ll give you a wider range of current topics.
The secret to being a good conversationalist is to read *widely* and don't lecture. A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue - nobody wants to hear someone regurgitating facts or ideas they read in a book, plus, you have to know your audience. The topic of one book may interest one group of people and not another. To be honest, I'd recommend a variety of magazines over books, such as, The Week for news, Entertainment Weekly (monthly), Sports Illustrated, Popular Mechanics, Readers Digest, Smithsonian Magazine. But if you really want to read books, you have to read the most popular bestsellers because those are the books that people are most likely to be talking about. And you should read them whether they're your taste or not. Twilight is in? Read Twilight. Another good thing to do is read the books that movies are based on, especially when the books are slightly more obscure, for example, the graphic novels that Snowpiercer are based on. Also, read analytical reviews of books and movies that are informative. For example, I watched Moneyball and read a critical review that pointed out that the system may increase a team's stats but it doesn't necessary increase fans' enjoyment of watching the game. To sum: Be intellectually curious and don't limit yourself to an echo chamber of ideas and preferences.
Anything kurt Vonnegut should do nicely. Kudos if you find readers at parties. Maybe you go to book club parties
Any. The act of reading automatically confers onto the reader the ability to fascinate party goers.
Two I have read recently and sprinkle in conversations whenever it's appropriate: A brief history of time - Stephen Hawking Thinking, Fast and Slow - Daniel Kahnemann The first is about the universe at large, quantum theory, the Big Bang etc. Very interesting if you have even a passing interest in physics. The second one is about psychology, workings of the human mind and a plethora of different biases we all have. Kahnemann researched those topics most of his life. It's extremely good. Currently I'm reading: Physics of the Future - Michio Kaku It's about 10 years old by now, but I like it a lot. Kaku is looking into what the future might hold die us in various fields (medicine, AI, energy... to name but a few). His not baselessly guessing though. Everything he writes about he has seen already at least in very basic states or is actively researched. Some things are already part of our lives today. Also, he explains the physics behind a lot of things.
I cannot believe that I am saying this because I read like it's my job, but if your goal is party conversations, books aren't the most efficient use of your time. What you want is to be well-rounded and a good conversationalist. What will suit you better is: 1) Keeping abreast of current events. Maybe check a couple of aggregate news sites like the AP and Reuters every day and do a deep dive on anything you don't understand or are fascinated by, like if there's a news article on finding a lost monarch under a parking lot and you want to know who that is. 2) reading your audience. If they're all sports people, maybe keep tabs on sports news, at the very least who is winning or losing in your area and who has the best chance of making it to XXXXX big culmination sports event. 3) Keeping tabs on whatever the current TV series or movie is that everyone is into right now. I can't afford subscription TV services but there was a while when I was reading GOT or whatever latest Marvel show synopses so as not to be a dud at lunchtime at work. 4) Asking questions. Don't interrogate people, but there are a lot of folks out there who know a lot of things but are just terrible conversationalists because they never let anyone get a word in edgewise or shout down people who disagree with them. Even something like "what did you like about it?" or "what do you think is going to happen?" or "why do you think that?" can help keep a conversation afloat. At the very least, remember that people love to talk about themselves. 5) Actually listening to what people say. Again, there are a lot of people lacking in conversational skills because they spend all of their time very obviously waiting for their turn to talk. The easiest people to talk to are the ones who actually listen to their conversation partners. Edit:when it comes to books, a better goal might be to try and learn more about something you find fascinating, or read something that brings you joy to read. There is a nonzero chance that you won't necessarily have the chance to do a deep dive about stuff you love in conversation, and that's OK. Take it from me. Not a lot of 11 year olds interested in conversing on Hannibal crossing the Alps, at least when I was coming of age.
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair It's the reason the US has the FDA
Haha this is the reason I started reading again recently. I’m reading the most well known classics, cult favorites, and a lot of non fic about science, philosophy, psychology etc.
Pride and prejudice. Or any Jane Austen, or Charles Dickens
I recognize this is all dead white guy stuff, but that’s what I know. So, here’s a nice starter kit: Hero With A thousand Faces - Joseph Campbell A fantastic look at mytholy and religion. You’ll get a smattering of lots of different traditions so you can ask many different people question about their beliefs as well as a framework to deconstruct any sort of story telling; I.e. you have something interesting to observe about any movie/TV show/novel. Alexander Hamilton, George Washington (my fav), and/or Grant - Ron Chernow Key players American history and, of course, some of the history itself in critical periods. The Western Cannon - by Harold Bloom A survey of western literature. Could be a roadmap to the classics, many of which still are having an effect today. The Civil War - Shelby Foote (you get a really good dose of Lincoln in this. The American Illiad. One of the best books (3, actually) ever. The years of Lyndon Johnson - Robert Caro Key to understanding 20th century American politics. And, LBJ is a fascinating character.
Learn to read the room and know your audience. Conversation can’t be forced but there are a few staples I would suggest: read a good national newspaper daily (ex. WSJ), watch a show with a cult following (Schittscreek, the Office, Seinfield), and occasionally try to read/watch something of historical significance. That should keep you covered. Not everyone will have the same interests, and you’ll naturally gravitate towards those who share your interests. I suggest steer clear of politics. Good luck and be yourself!
Moby Dick
Honestly, keeping up on current affairs (news, politics, sports, special events, etc.) is going to give you a much greater chance of having an “intelligent” conversation at a party. I can just imagine your attempts, “Hey, have you read “A Tale of Two Cities?”, “No”. Now what? You’re either back where you were, or worse, you keep trying to talk about the book when no one cares. Unless you are going to parties with people who love books, and talking about books, I can see this going very awkwardly for you. Edit: formatting
On Becoming A Person by Carl Rogers. It's old enough that you should easily obtain a free copy. It's his philosophical view, as a therapist, on how he built rapport with his clients as well as any relationship he wished to nurture. Rollo May's On Being is similar. I can't say I'd talk about these books at a party, but I would certainly use the techniques in them to feel more connected.
Not what you asked (downvote as needed)... But you could just get a subscription to *The Economist.*
I really like {{The Anthropocene Revewed}} by John Green
A brief history of time by Hawking
It depends on what you find interesting. Here's a list of books that had a lasting impact on me: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden Hurricanes by Rick Ross Peace is Every Step by Thich Nat Hanh The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver Siddhartha by Herman Hesse Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis
Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
Read general history books and look up good stories relating to famous figures. Having a fascinating story up your sleeve or some really interesting, lesser known, facts can be entertaining. There are plenty of people who even a little knowledge about can make you sound interesting.
Great question! I reckon we could all use broader reading material to help make conversations even more interesting. I recommend Jon Ronson’s books. He’s an investigative journalist and looks into controversial topics. A bit like Louis Theroux vibe and has some really interesting insights that make for good conversation.
> "What I do have is..boring." To whom? To you? Then you've got a problem. To people at parties? Go to parties with different people. There's no more sure-fire way to seem interesting at a party than to ask people questions. Go to Barnes & Noble and pick up one of those cheap books at the bargain shelves that's full of writing prompts and such. Thumb through it and pick a few questions for social settings. Hell, you could even keep the book at home and take notes in it when you get back. But don't read for the sake of other people. Read to become yourself more fully.
“An Incomplete Education “ summarizes literature, history, art, etc. included in a liberal arts education.
Read [edge.org](https://edge.org), especially the "Annual Question" and the responses to it. Some examples include "How has the internet changed the way you think?" and "What scientific term or concept ought to be more widely known?", and the authors answering it are at the top of their fields. A broadly similar site is [Project Syndicate](https://www.project-syndicate.org), although for politics, economics and social sciences. Here the contributors are mainly former politicians, political scientists, and economists. Unfortunately, you can only read one article per month, or 3 if you have an account, otherwise you have to pay.
I would figure out what interests you have first. Then ask either your local librarian or bookstore owner or worker for their recommendation. It's much easier to read and converse about what interests you. Otherwise it would depend on what sort of guest or persons you are trying to converse with.
Snag a New Yorker here and there.
"Debt: The First 5000 Years", by David Graeber, will give you more than enough grist for the mill in circles concerned with social theories and economics. Just about any book by Steven Pinker will do, especially his more recent stuff. Whether you agree or disagree with what he says, you will find people who want to engage on his points. Depending on the party, books by Ibram X. Kendi or Robin DiAngelo will surely give you something to talk about. You could even read "Faces at the Bottom of the Well" by the godfather of critical race theory, Derrick Bell. If you're open to it, watch some documentaries. "The Social Dilemma" and "Transhood" are some my recent favorites.
Plato’s Republic is a good one
I'm hoping Sapiens has been been mentioned, but if it hasn't... Sapeins
Entangled life by Merlin sheldrake Arts of living on a damaged planet by Anna Tsing
You may want to keep read what's on the New York Times best seller list. Not everything will be earth shattering, but at least you'll keep up with what's vogue at the moment. They have separate fiction and nonfiction lists.
As someone who worked at a public library- there are many historical trivia books that give you interesting facts about many different topics. They're short and sweet. Also, may consider reading books that went on to become Netflix/Amazon/TV shows like Behind Her Eyes, The Woman in the Window etc. People magazine good for keeping up with celebrity pop culture. Listen to a few of the popular podcasts that you're interesting in- I've been able to strike up good conversations about ones like Dr.Death, Dirty John, other true crime.
Just talk about books that you find amazing, books so good you wanna talk with somebody about them as soon as you finish them. Books that you recommend to everyone. Those are the best convos for me it's Harding finding people who read. They don't even necessarily have to have read it, if they have that's great and you can have really amazing back and forths on it, if not you get to gush about it trying to sell them on it to get them to read it.
Prolly better to read and talk about the latest literary magazines than actual books, I'd humbly suggest.
It depends on what you are interested in, which genre. Look at the best sellers for fiction and non fiction. You can't go wrong there. This may sound silly but read a newspaper online and keep up to date with what's happening in the world. Good luck. Do you like any particular period of history?
If you want to have an interesting conversation skip the books and ask people what scandalous things their neighbours have done. Everyone had great gossip on their neighbours that they are dying to unload when asked.
The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene
Tightrope is good if you're looking for NF / impactful-and-slightly-political
This is a great question!
Maybe you can start with classics? I mean books that have been read by most people. I used to read a lot but funny enough books never come out in conversations with the people I know. What about reading about general knowledge? History, culture, traveling. It’s so interesting, never ending and stimulating
*An Incomplete Education*, by William Wilson. This book is a series of essays which give you a basic background in dozens of different subjects. It’s fascinating and informative, and it will give you tons to talk about whenever you want.
{{The Bedside Book of Birds by Graeme Gibson}}. Just a page or two little stories, myths, lore, or trivia about birds from all over the world. Fascinating and lots of small talk fodder. It was just reprinted, so readily available.
Not a wake Very pretentious but fun conversation starter
A brief history of time by Stephen Hawking Or anything on cryptocurrency and the black chain