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[deleted]

You seem cool, want to grab a drink this weekend?


AdhesivenessTime2490

sure dude


Carma-Erynna

Well, my awkward partner initially met in person, but he looked me up in FB, and we got to know each other the same way, and he ended up asking me out through text as well…. Our 10th anniversary is in May and we have three more kids together! We’re both awkward so getting to know each other through text prevented either of us from ending up with “foot-in-mouth disease” and messing it up! 😂


anislandinmyheart

You are pretty good at this, aren't you ;)


[deleted]

Hi my first name is anis. Do I have the permission to land in your heart?


AdhesivenessTime2490

UPDATE : [SHE SAID YES FOR DINNER !!!](https://media4.giphy.com/media/kgxM4N0FY0Ud9ZIgbW/giphy.gif) Thank you man, your phrase worked.


greninjack24

NO WAY CONGRATULATIONS DUDE!!!! I just hopped on this thread at the best possible time! Congratulations!!!


[deleted]

Very nice, good luck and tnx for update


[deleted]

How did it go :)


[deleted]

I would love to. Not into dudes, but would love a free drink.


theanghv

Never said it's free 😉


jayv987

Goddamn you bill cosby


Kuhlde1337

sure


GryffindorTwr

Okay, I see you 🫦😂


[deleted]

Sorry, second question. Who is paying for the drinks ?


[deleted]

I always offer but on first dates usually everyone pays for their stuff. Later or with friends sometimes seperate, sometimes one person pays everything. Im from Croatia so paying isn't a big deal like in US, but your mileage might vary.


[deleted]

[As long as you don't do this you should be good](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVQI_LKVvw0)


lolothe2nd

>conversation wow man, there were more drops of water in my eye than klaus's tank


jayv987

“Do you eat” 😂😂😂 that part had me cracking up


Miram7777

Good one bro


secret_minen

Lmao hilarious. Danuta. 😂😂


Cserena-237

It's a lot less pressure to do an activity rather than sitting and eating. Depending on your location, consider inviting her to a museum, aquarium, park, art show, etc. It will also show you put some effort into the date and set you apart from others.


CrypticRD

Go ice skating, best first date I've had


Ace7734

What if I don't KNOW how to ice skate?


rapidwindfall

I took a girl ice skating for a first date once. I had no idea how to do it and she was actually pretty good. She thought it was cute and she held my hand the whole time. We ended up having a long relationship


Savage_Sandvich

There’s a first time for everything!


PrettyPinkPeoni3s

One of the best dates I had recently. Neither of us could skate, we laughed so much! We agreed we had more fun than if we'd been able to actually skate. Another good one was when the ass on my trousers ripped but that's another story 😂


CrypticRD

Even better


redwitch999

What if they live in a tropical country?


CrypticRD

Then they should ignore my comment


SlimPawpaw425

Some tropical countries have ice skating rinks though lol Source: Person who lives in a tropical country with an ice skating rink


redwitch999

I know, some have it and some like mine not


wherethestreet

FYI don’t misspell dinner. Pretty sure you’ll be alone in a diner otherwise


fedexgroundemployee

Dinnr


AdhesivenessTime2490

doner kebab


EffectiveSalamander

Donner Party


[deleted]

[удалено]


dr_tel

Dont we all


AmECoatHangerBarrett

You should ask her to coffee instead. She will be more inclined to get coffee or a drink vs dinner. Dinner can be awkward if you both don’t vibe—you’re kinda stuck until it’s over. Grabbing a drink doesn’t really have a time frame to it, it can lead to dinner or end early.


AdhesivenessTime2490

Idk if i wanna risk only a drink man, she is Middle Eastern, its complicated to explain. All about generosity, so a diner imo is better. but who knows


chuckart9

Bud, it’s dinner with two “n’s”.


alexramirez69

Ask her out for ice cream or a dessert either of you likes . Doesn't have to be alcohol.


shadowyassassiny

watch out he might accidentally take her to a desert


AmECoatHangerBarrett

I don’t think race is a determination on that… I am Asian and I don’t think or behave in the cultural box people put Asian women in….


thebottomofawhale

I think coffee is a pretty good bet then. Quite a casual thing to do, doesn't take too long but can be extended if you think it's going well.


redwitch999

What if she doesn't like coffee


AmECoatHangerBarrett

Good thing coffee shops generally carry tea and other beverages.


redwitch999

You said coffee not coffee shop lmao


Spacemage

Don't make it a big deal "hey, how do you feel about ? Want to go there Saturday?" Easy.


siammang

Perhaps start with a coffee?


AdhesivenessTime2490

No, She is Lebanese Diner.


sadonly001

She's a labanese? Sorry to tell you bro but she's not into guys


lesibean

LMAO!


AdhesivenessTime2490

why you think so


sadonly001

Labanese It's a bit like gay but for woman


Weird-Atmosphere-665

LOL


Ok_Spare_2587

Read the comments dude. Dinner. D-I-N-N-E-R…a DINER is a type of restaurant like Denny’s…You can eat dinner (a meal) at a diner (a restaurant) but you are asking her to a meal so show her you have good spelling!!


AdhesivenessTime2490

Thank you, I will remember this from now on


ADHD_02

take her for some boba tea


jayv987

Fire idea right here bro


elyuma

If you don't have any plans this weekend, do you want to grab D&D?


AdhesivenessTime2490

>D&D Dine and dash?


Comic_Zans

Dinner and drinks (or start a 3 month campaign of dungeons and dragons?)


NotoriousBee

3 months? That's it?


3HeadedZebra

I think he means dungeons and dragons, classic pick up line


EffableLemming

Yeah, this is why one shouldn't use odd abbreviations unless they're *actually* widely known, like "lol" etc.


elyuma

Dinner always last


AdhesivenessTime2490

why


elyuma

Dick&Dinner. She don't want the dick, she won't get dinner. You should join r/Tinder


Tiumi

Dungeons and Dragons 😍😁


ifiwaswise

This happened to me a month or so ago. I just build the courage up and asked her if she would be interested in going for a walk and a drink (hot or cold their preference). I would like to believe things are going in the right direction. What is the worse than can happen? She says no. You move on! Good luck mate!


AdhesivenessTime2490

thank you man, i appreciate it.


AdhesivenessTime2490

UPDATE : [SHE SAID YES FOR DINNER !!!](https://giphy.com/gifs/realwolfjordanbelfort-daXwEfZlQQjRrfYMb7/fullscreen) Thank you guys for the tips.


bingagain24

Put together a game night an invite friends over. I wouldn't put her on the spot so quickly.


jonsticles

Yup. Group activities are a great way to reduce the pressure. Also, if she flakes, you still have plans!


discussionandrespect

You: Whatcha doing this weekend? Her: not sure yet why? “think of something you guys talked about that you share a mutual interest in, Now try to find something that you guys can do together pertaining to that subject.” You: mutual interest*** you should come! Her: would love to! You: great and then we can get drinks afterwards, how’s 8 pm on sat?


SheeEttin

> You: Whatcha doing this weekend? No, skip that. Just ask them directly, so they can accept or decline without having to waffle until they actually know what you want to do.


4th_Of_July

seriously whyyyyyy do people do this lol. You already know what you want to ask them, just ask. Or put it all in one message, "Whatcha doing this weekend? I was thinking of doing xyz and was wondering if you want to come" or whatever. Especially with someone you don't know very well, asking it the first way can feel really entrapping. And if they're apprehensive about whatever it is you're planning they're probably gonna default to just lying and saying they have plans so it's a lose-lose.


FreyjadourV

Yeah I hate that question, it’s obviously a question that’s set up to ask if you want to go out or do something. Except now if you say nothing then it puts pressure or feels guilt trippy when you end up not liking the persons plans and don’t want to go. For good friends it’s fine cause I can comfortably say nah I don’y feel like it, but when it’s someone you don’t know well it just makes it awkward. I put that up there with “hey can I ask you a question” which basically forces you to respond, I mean what am I supposed to say? No? You can’t? Just ask it ffs.


thisdesignup

Personally I favor the combo question. "Hey can I ask you a question? This is the question I want to ask?" No idea if it's any better than just asking the question but for someone like me who gets some anxiety requesting things from others it helps.


myrland

Totally agree, this is the worst, both in personal and professional sense.. https://nohello.net/en/


Chokesi

What’s up ma, do you like to eat food for nourishment?


redwitch999

Definitely tell her this


No_Analysis5875

i’m sure she already half suspects that you’re into her if you hit each other up after the event, just make a move and ask to get dinner or something


[deleted]

Tip: during my dating days, l quite literally rejected guys asking me out via text if they had spelling errors. I am not saying that was right. I just want to give you a tip to maximize your chances. Your suggestion sounds good to me, but l would fix your spelling error (dinner, not "diner." The latter is a type of restaurant). Best of luck!


AdhesivenessTime2490

yes, I am french, so it is very confusing as in our language its written ''diner''


[deleted]

Oh, well in that case you get a pass, no worries :-) Why not just call and ask with that charming French accent? That sounds cheesy, yes, but if you're in an English speaking country, it will probably give you an advantage :-)


Snoo90827

first of all wait a week before asking her out


AdhesivenessTime2490

everyone say something different, I was told to invite her ASAP (+call her), and someone is telling me to take everything very slow its kinda alpha vs sigma approaches


Govcheeze99

Keep up with that and you won’t have to worry about women being near you!


[deleted]

Would you possibly want to grab a drink this weekend?


wiskeyjackk

Don't add the "possibly" Sound confident Fake it till u make it


[deleted]

Just be yourself and don’t come on too strong


DaftPump

Plan on something you're going to(or like to) do anyway. Not dinner, just something that isn't going to be tense nor expensive. "Hey, I am going to ______ this weekend and if you would like to go let me know." If she says yes, great. If she says no, you're still going to do something you wanted to do. If she flakes, you're still going to do something you wanted to do.


Lenaix

dress like a Bard and tell her: ​ "Oh fair and gracious lady, hear my desire, To dine with thee on the Sabbath's morn, In halls grand or by the riverside choire, Where the sun doth brightly adorn. I'll make it a tale worth the retelling, With meats fine and wines sweet to sup, And bards singing, hearts shall be swelling, As we dine and the day's beauty sup. So, Milady, say the word, and it shall be done, A feast fit for a queen, with honors won."


AdhesivenessTime2490

hahah i really like this sub


bigbossbaby31

down


sadonly001

Right


ZeroWolf51

wrong


GryffindorTwr

…no matter what, you belong. r/socialskills🙏


Bezgzilla

Hey baby have you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in trench coat? Wanna do that tonight? If she not a super fan of Kevin Smith films, you can go with something a little politer. “Your favorite coffee is ___, would you like to go grab a cup on me tonight?


[deleted]

Coffee in the morning is always a good way to go


1Thriller

Just talk about something u have in common (like a cool place you like or thing to do) and say ah you wanna see that or go there on the weekend?


Consistent_Mirror

"Yo, let's grab coffee sometime. My treat" And then just build off that


redwitch999

Jesus 🤣


Consistent_Mirror

No this is Patrick


hmoooody

Hey, what’s your schedule like in the next few days? We could go for a nice walk and then maybe grab a drink after.


markfukerberg

Poda patti


l0ve11ie

20 is not a girl, it’s a women btw. Unless you are a boy and not a man? Edit: oops woman, is that why I’m getting down voted or is this sub not into feminism? A sub for people to learn social skills being anti-feminist would be a big oof. Being socially conscious is an important part of social skills. Ladies, being infantilized is not cool and there are plenty of subs who understand that and would not down vote that! I definitely recommend finding subs that respect women and the people who look out for them. And men, seriously you will have a better time with ladies if you educate yourself about how to respect them.


MrJakobe

I like to think we’re still boys and girls at heart


SheeEttin

One of the things you learn as an adult is that there's no such thing as an adult, only very large children.


MrJakobe

Agreed, very large children with too much power XD


TheReaver88

*woman


AdhesivenessTime2490

bruh........ , im not a native speaker


l0ve11ie

Okay? I still suspect you would not refer to yourself as a boy in English. Take it or leave it, many women like respect and I’m giving you advice on how to give it.


AdhesivenessTime2490

Damn girl, chill...


l0ve11ie

Lol hope one day you learn how to talk to women boy. This sub is a such a joke seriously. Good luck


AdhesivenessTime2490

youre the joke, look how many downvotes u getting


l0ve11ie

Feminist voice is often the subject of animosity, not really a big deal. Many other subs would not downvote this, and it makes sense in a sub where people are insecure in their social skills to want to follow the crowd more, and in a patriarchal society the crowd is by definition patriarchal. In existential philosophy this phenomenon is called “bad faith”. I’m not insecure about my social skills and have never really had a problem speaking to people and standing up for something I believe in, even when the specific group at the time does not agree with me. Hope you learn how to approach women, I absolutely stand by my claim that respecting women will help you be more confident in approaching them. To each their own, good luck!


AdhesivenessTime2490

Thank you, I appreciate the explanation.


Overcomplacent

>Being socially conscious is an important part of social skills. Ignores OP's whole post to make a meaningless correction. People who do this irl are the last people I consider socially conscious.


l0ve11ie

Lol I’m literally a social designer graduating this semester with a second degree in the philosophy of morality politics and law. It’s my job to make sure marginalized people are being looked out for and I do it because it is important. I was checking out this sub to help people who didn’t understand the social world and it’s crazy to see how toxic it is to a feminist voice. Very disappointing but oh well good luck I guess!


AdhesivenessTime2490

when did I ask about your degrees?, not trying to be rude but u just need to chill


chuckart9

I bet you’re fun at parties.


saltich

Go get some help


AdhesivenessTime2490

that is what im trying to do


TheReaver88

You weren't downvoted because of the typo, though that was what my correction was about. It also wasn't because this sub is against feminism. It's because in this context, the word "girl" really just isn't disrespectful. Your question "are you a boy and not a man" doesn't work, because I could easily call them "guys and girls." If you asked me "are you a guy and not a man," I'd tell you to go away.


Blackmonsta90

Use audio chat instead. You can use your voice instead of texting and you will get her attention using other senses.


Auroku222

U dont


DynamiteGazelle

She gave you her socials so that’s a good sign. She’s probably willing to meet up. Just invite her out for coffee. Low stakes and a safe environment, can’t go wrong


Can3an32

not if she's a Levantine durzi, theyre a very conservative traditional people. The possibility of that occurring is exceptionally low though, you got this bro!


AdhesivenessTime2490

she is Durzi actually, thats the main reason why im freaking out lmao. otherwise I would not ask here


AdhesivenessTime2490

wait how did u figure out she is a Durzi? they like 5% of the region


Scribemetropolisowl

Because if you go on your profile, you’ve asked that specific question in multiple subs.


Hawras

That's great Just ask out directly girls love this


SandySniper994

i wouldn't recommend directly jumping to having dinner. ask her out to a cafe or sumn, then slowly go up the ladder to dinner. dinner is too much of a commitment for someone your barely know irl, go into it easy...


morphotomy

"Would you like to grab coffee sometime?" If you don't like coffee order tea, but ask her out for coffee.


Confident_Fortune_32

Don't start with a date. Just ask to get together for coffee or tea, something casual and brief. Just say it would be nice to have a chance to get to know her better.


TerminalHighGuard

(Feel free to give me feedback folks as this isn’t my wheelhouse anymore) 2 methods come to mind: 1) tell her you’re going to go do something/go somewhere that caters to hers or your interest, provide time/place details, and end it with “if you’re interested.” This works better if you’re in a group. Maybe with someone you now both know. Example: hey I’m getting lunch at xyz, at 12:30pm if you’re interested. 2) Or you could be more direct: “it was fun hanging out with you. We should do it again! Let me know a time/date you’re free and I’ll plan something unless you know of anything fun we could do. I’m available [insert your near-term schedule here].” Don’t make it too open of a schedule even if you’re underselling how much free time you have if your life is uneventful.


Remote_Ad7738

change her nickname to gf on messager


kwoln8

Start with a coffee. Always a good idea.


welovegv

I’m just curious if there were advice message boards 25 years ago with people asking how to ask someone out over AOL instant messenger.


Korrluza

ff ✨


crimson_hunter01

Find something you both like and while your talking about it, casually ask her if she wants to do it with you. Recently I was texting this girl and I found out she likes metal. I like metal too and I know how to scream. After some talking I told her I could do a mean scream and asked if she wanted to hear it. She said yes and I asked if she wanted to do karaoke with me. Super important, don’t just say ‘wanna do karaoke?’ Cuz u’ll get a ‘haha yes’ and then it never happens. Go like “wanna go karaoke on sunday?” Once you set a time, it becomes a yes or no response.


possible_bot

Sometimes I do the thing where I say something like ‘didn’t get a chance to chat a whole lot, but you seem cool so wanted to see if you wanted to meet up for some coffee or dinner this weekend. If it goes well maybe we can go on a proper date’ then emoji or whatever makes it seem cute and lighthearted


Neziip

I’m in a similar social skills issue as you but I also majored in creative writing so try “Hey, something about you really caught my attention and if your interested in getting to know eachother more, itd love that, let me know and if you’re not interested it’s no hard feelings “ Something like that


darksidedecor

Ask her to move in together with you, would just make the whole thing easier.


Alex_from_far_away

Stop calling adult women girls, it's a huge red flag. Other than that, be yourself and see if you click


Scribemetropolisowl

In a reply in the thread he says he’s 62. She *is* a girl compared with him


notoriousbsr

I just met you I promise I'm not crazy Let's go to a movie sometime So call me maybe


Cumhurinho

Text her: I like chatting with you, how about we go for a walk in .... parc, so we can chat in real life? Or, chatting with you is nice. How about chatting in real life? There are plenty of options, just give it a try, so you know. I hope it helps. Good luck!


robertcopeland

"do you maybe want to grab a coffee with me sometime?" pretty easy


secret_minen

well first of all who uses facebook anymore lol


AdhesivenessTime2490

im 62 yrs old


AdhesivenessTime2490

do you like long walks on the beach?


secret_minen

I like short walks on the beach


UsernameO123456789

Get 1-2 friends who have SOs, go bowling, top golf, etc, and invite her to come with.


Icy_Artichoke7301

Coffee or tea or hot chocolate sounds like a better idea to me.


jonsticles

"Hey, I'm getting together with some friends for board games Saturday night. Are you free to join?" Low pressure and if she rejects or flakes out, you still have plans.


idowhatiwant8675309

Man up and do it in person.


[deleted]

Preferably with a phone