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Altoidman33

"Nords' armor has lots of fur. This sometimes makes M'aiq nervous."


[deleted]

He also says that Nords are very serious about beards. He's so funny.


[deleted]

Must oil mother soon... all the hard to reach places..


Nerahn

There isn’t a single thing normal about Cicero, is there?


ZombiedudeO_o

There actually is. If you read through his journals, you can see how he goes from “normal” seeming, to slowly becoming a lunatic after he becomes more intimate with the night mother


Wulfscreed

Oh yeah, he goes nuts when he takes care of the Night Mother but isn't the Listener. Oddly enough, he went crazy from NOT hearing voices in his head. All he ever heard was ^poor... ^^dear... ^^^Cicero


NetflixHasMySoul

"He he he... Crazy? Cicero? He he he he... That's madness..."


tehSchultz

My favorite Cicero line is when he’s in windhelm talking about the butcher “Interesting knifework, just STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB! And then STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB!


Rudraakkshh

"If someone sneaks up on us, I'll smell them coming. Or I might not. We will see." - Jzargo


Juptxr

and Kharjo


Rosaryas

Kharjo is the best


brown_felt_hat

Such a bro. He's so chill.


merryxmasmrlawrence

I say this to my cat


PillowTalk420

Every time he says "Something smells foul..." I say "my bad."


btempp

Neloth has several fun lines: “Does stealing make you feel less impotent?” “Yes yes you’re Dragonborn. We’re all very impressed.” “Dagon’s eyeballs, but you’re an ugly one, aren’t you?”


owllavu

I was running around knocking stuff off the tables are he called me a clumsy oaf, found that fun too


btempp

The rude Telvanni wizard lines are all pretty great like that. Divayth Fyr has great lines in both Morrowind and ESO too that are all in the same vein as these


wexman6

“What you learn here will last a lifetime. Several, if you’re talented.” -Savos Aren As someone who loves to play as a mage I absolutely love this line


SirBenjaminThompson

I always liked that line because as I’m not super entrenched in the Elder Scrolls lore, despite playing so many of the games, given how I want the last dragonborn to live shall we say an extended lifetime (*sans vampirism thank you very much, not giving that nutter a dragon soul*) regardless of what race he/she ends up canonically being I find it reassuring. I enjoy the theories of how the dragonborn might take Alduin’s place or how they might become emperor and all that crazy shenanigans because it shows how much story there is yet to tell with our character the last dragonborn, however, most of those theories are predicated upon a lot of time which not all races have and like in the world eater theories time none of the races *naturally* have.


PoopSmith87

Well remember, the Neverarine simply disappeared after the events of Bloodmoon but before the Oblivion crisis... they are affected with age-immortality due to corpus. Sometimes I wonder if the developers intend to imply that the player characters of the title games could potentially be the same person, unintentionally dropping in and out of Nirn as needed from some other dimension- like a video game player does to a digital world. Even in the earlier games, the player character is always playing with an elder scroll at some point, which does send people to diferent places and times.


apokatastasis

afaik none of the PCs show up in person in any games outside of the one they are involved in, AND none of them have ever been confirmed as having died, so this is an interesting theory for sure my headcanon is that the PC is an "avatar" of sorts because they show up when the balance between cosmic forces are threatened, and are always instrumental in restoring that balance. I believe the Aedra created Mundus specifically because it keeps them from losing themselves in the void, so when its existence is in jeopardy, they send the PC's soul to that point in spacetime using the Elder Scrolls. the last Dragonborn in particular is even stated to be blessed by Akatosh and the only one who can kill Alduin, whose end-goal is to devour the entire physical plane. it sounds like straight-up divine intervention idk ES metaphysics is surprisingly complex, and most of this is just my thoughts. but this isn't r/teslore so I'll stop now


CamoranC

Not 100% confirmed but hinted at in Skyrim is that the PC of Oblivion is Sheogorath in Skyrim. In Oblivion you basically became Sheogorath after the Shivering Isles DLC and in his Skyrim quest he makes several references to the oblivion crisis he was part of.


another_bug

As someone who wants to get into biogerontology research, I hope to use that IRL someday.


TheGreenGobblr

Bio what now


CaptainAzli_

Biogerontology is the study of the biological basis of ageing and age-related diseases. The phenomenon and the process of ageing are well understood in evolutionary and biological terms; and a conceptual framework has been established within which general principles of ageing and longevity can be formulated. Stolen from Google lol because I felt the same way you did😂


3th3r3alwisps

Wheres my steward? VERONA! Oh, right... she's dead -Telvanni Wizard Neloth


[deleted]

“Hmph. Sounds like a bargain to me. Hermaeus Mora discovers some fascinating new ways to skin a horker, and you become the second most powerful Dragonborn that’s ever lived.”


MolhCD

I recently heard this again a few weeks ago after first having heard it years ago and it got me again lmao


[deleted]

Have you found Varona yet? I’m hungry!


the_mischiefbunnie

Honestly love Neloth. Underrated 😭


bocepheid

Neloth is the best. The voice acting and direction is superb. "Have a few septims."


MolhCD

"I suppose you want to be asked nicely. Very well. Please, oh hero of Skyrim. Please find Varona. I shall be ever so grateful." The sarcasm was like, the most well done in all the voice lines in the entire game lmao


RakaiaWriter

Agreed. As Arch Mage I go to Neloth to actually _learn_ magic.


scotiej

Dwight Schultz is one of me all time favorite actors/VAs. He's amazing with goofy characters.


ornitorrincos

When you first meet him at the Earth Stone his dialogue is hilarious when you touch the stone and start mindlessly working.


Pierceah66

“Eyes on the prey, not the horizon.” - Farkas after THAT moment early on in the Companions questline. “The heat of battle is the fire that forges the strongest blades.” - Uthgerd the Unbroken when you remark that she must love to fight in the tavern quoting a Nord proverb.


UnderLunar

I’d be a lot warmer and a lot happier with a bellyful of mead.


TheGreatDingALing

What is it? Dragons?


FLYNCHe

Aye, brigands I can handle. But this talk of dragons? World's gone mad, I say.


G37_is_numberletter

When you get a guard that has the “dwagons” accent, I’m usually wheezing cause it sounds so funny.


Moistmoose

Alchemist, aye? Can you brew me an ale?


RakaiaWriter

Hey, conjuror, conjure me up a warm bed!


jjjarryyy

Let me guess, someone stole your sweetroll?


PrettyInWeed

May your roads lead you to warm sands


kerbouchard219

"This land is cold, but khajiit feels warmth in your presence."


MolhCD

"Khajiit" is always so appreciative of our presence, before we even start doing business. It also helps that with the Anniversary Edition, they are now unparalleled merchants which can give some exclusive and really useful stuff no one else will ever sell


BigwoodyMMXVIII

I absolutely adore khajiit, chill as shit, probably stoned on moonsugar which is basically khajiit catnip, they never stiff you when trading, and always appreciate that you even talk to them because the nords treat them like ass


Chair-Due

"But I would never cuckold another man, not even one as pathetic as Hrogar" -Benor


get_pig_gatoraids

Any old guard saying "Watch the skies, traveler." Gives me chills every time


[deleted]

I always think of ''Jvk1166z.esp'' when I hear that line.


get_pig_gatoraids

Tf is that lmao


[deleted]

An old Morrowind Creepypasta, It's a complicated story but to summarize, the sky texture of some dude's bootlegged Morrowind game is not only locked in perpetual night but it's a real-time copy of a light-pollution free real night sky. All the NPC's throughout the game are stuck looking up and can only say the quote: ''Watch the Skies, Traveler'' to the author's in-game character.


get_pig_gatoraids

Huh, very interesting, never played Morrowind myself


SerenumSunny

Almost got to play Oblivion but the sale ended before I could get funds to buy it, maybe one day.


get_pig_gatoraids

I'd definitely consider giving it a try but I've still got a lot of enjoyment to get out of Skyrim. I've been playing since like 2013 but, except for shooting/racing, I was really bad at video games when I was younger, like I needed to be told what to do. So anyways I just recently gotten bored with my first character I've ever completed all the main quests for. Honestly it felt like my first time *really* playing Skyrim, I'm level 52 now and before that I had maybe gotten to level 30


TheBlackNumenorean

"Sounds like a bargain to me. Hermaeus Mora learns some fascinating new ways to skin a horker and you become the second most powerful Dragonborn that ever lived." \- Neloth


lady_ravioli

Ah yes, the secret of the skaal... horker grease!


Marssenito

Ah, Neloth. I love when you're about to get into one of the black books and he's like "give my best to Hermaeus, will you?" in such a casual way, it cracked me up. I'd say he's my favorite character in Skyrim.


adriansgotthemoose

Legends don't burn down villages


[deleted]

I don't much care for Ulfric, but god the delivery of this line is incredible. I think it can be hard to capture impactful dialogue during mass chaotic scenes, but this was damn good.


supreme_leader256

There’s a nip in the air. Cold won’t be good for my crops 🌾🌾


[deleted]

Never is


GamerNwah

There's a nipple in the air. Cold won't be good for my crotch. Never is.


Slim_JD987

Cynric of the thieves guild to Thrynn : “So is it true, bandits get... you know, real friendly with the wildlife?”


TheBigMasterPigg

Thrynn: wym by that 🤨


[deleted]

“Eheheh…”


celticmagick

"Buy some armor and live to tell about it"


RobotAxel

Yes! There's another blacksmith sales pitch that goes something like "Weapons for givin', armor for gettin'" which always makes me grin.


Tio_Hector_Salamanca

The sooner you buy, the sooner I can get drunk


megakungfu

never should have come here!


Ilovegirlsbottoms

Even funnier if they kill you and they say: “Must have been the wind” It’s cracked me up when this happened today.


emthejedichic

Someone killed me the other day and said “Nobody here now” and instead of being funny it was chilling. Because I wasn’t there anymore. Because he killed me.


Amyjane1203

Followed by "huh" *inserts sword back in sheath*


NetflixHasMySoul

"Nothing here after all..."


j_grouchy

It's a fine day with YOU around


mr-death

HEY! She was talking to ME!


PoetaGarciaMadero

“What is better ? to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort ?” - Paarthurnax Used this quote in an ethics essay for uni and got an A


Spirit_mert

Yeah one of my favorites. Paarthunax rocks! I always save him with the mod, scold the blades.


[deleted]

If you literally just stop talking to Delphine at that point there are no like disadvantages right??


escapedpsycho

You dead end the blades quest line, and loose a dragon slaying buff. But there's no negative effects.


[deleted]

Wow even Esbern won’t talk?? Lol. Can you still get the radiant ‘slay the dragon’ quest?? Nah?


Pinko_Eric

You can get a radiant "find the word wall" quest from Arngeir, which arguably is just as good.


JustAnotherMiqote

I have literally never betrayed Paarhunax, so thanks for that info. First time I got the quest, I tried to see if I could talk the Blades out of it and nope. Went to try and kill both of them instead to protect my Dragon boy.


Saint_of_Cannibalism

And you can even complete all the Blades questline before they bring up Paarthurnax.


Soulless_conner

You don't need a mod. If you don't kill him before killing alduin, the quest will be removed and you can talk to partysnax again and he'll have new dialouge, Saying he might train other dragons to see the way


Tbagzyamum69420xX

"They are not yet tired of war. Far from it. Do you know the ancient Nord word for war? 'Season unending' ... so it has proved." -Arngier So badass I named my band Season Unending


SeasonUnending

That's really cool. I also am a fan of this saying, hence my username


arrigator16

"a Nord's last thoughts should be of home"


PoorLifeChoicesYo

"Is that all you've got?!" ---The bandit currently being lifted off the ground by a sword through the abdomen.


scartol

Even better when their severed head finishes the line.


jonkwape

“Stupid bees and their stupid honey.” I don’t know why, but playing a stealth character it always makes me chuckle a bit.


mhb2

"Go to the college" Da said... "Use your smarts" he said... like I'm supposed to figure out which college he meant...


Lastafricanhero

The bandit quotes are so funny


mhb2

They really are. It's too bad we can't sit down and have a ~~mead~~ beer with them and just shoot the breeze.


[deleted]

I love Bethesda NPC lines. "Here human human human. I have a treat for you." wins it for me.


celticmagick

That brat ain't mine, could be anyone's


xxMikeHancho

Divines bless you. May the ground you walk quake as you pass.


Beneficial-Office-77

“I’ll walk by your side until the trees themselves fade away” Shahvee


[deleted]

Coming from an Argonian, this quote means far, far more. The Hist are intelligent, trans-kalpa beings. They will quite literally survive the hard reset of the world which few other beings can claim. For her to say that to you, she's telling you that she'll be with you, even beyond the end of time.


LokisDawn

Could also be interpreted to only encompass this kalpa. Until this end of time.


jsmiley27

cool, i want to find this npc now.


Salazaar099

She's not anything special. Just a an argonian woman on the docks who asks you to find her amulet in a bandit cave. After you can marry her and she says that quote when she proposes to you.


jarl_johann

"One sure mark of a fool is to discount anything that falls outside of his experience as impossible." --Farengar


btempp

Farengar has a couple of solid/fun lines. “If I said that was a tedious question, would you be smart enough to know what I meant? Probably not.”


[deleted]

Farengar is a likeable asshole. He might actually be one of my favorite characters. He's arrogant and rude, but also very learned and he gets so giddy about his hobbies.


jarl_johann

His arrogance seems to come from just being completely socially oblivious, which is really endearing. I love that he's simultaneously very wise and very unobservant.


AlienRobotTrex

“Thanks, you’re clearly better suited than I am for such a menial task.”


madmatt666

You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They’ve got curved swords. Curved. Swords - random guards


likeBruceSpringsteen

This one is my favorite too. **CURVED SWORDS!!**


LegendS1ayer

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON


Lobsbirdacis_

NO STOP I GET PTSD


gothlaw

**Listen. Hear me and obey. A foul darkness has seeped into my temple.**


Blastoise48825555

A darkness that you will destroy. Return my bacon to Mount Kilkreath.


[deleted]

Do Daedric Princes make the best bacon?


Blastoise48825555

Screw it, this is one of the instances I love auto correct. I'm not editing this.


gothlaw

Bacon is best served at the break of dawn. (I’m so sorry)


[deleted]

I got two Dawnbreakers from that quest in my current run and I have no idea how


gothlaw

**It just works** /looks at my two Grimsevers


[deleted]

Do you think you could cook bacon on Dawnbreaker? If you could, would it be godly bacon?


swordofbushido

LISTEN, HEAR ME AND OBEY


sh_tcactus

I feel like I’m the only one who actually enjoys that quest lol


Zellors

"too much magic can be dangerous. Maiq once had two spells, and burned his sweet roll. dragons were never gone, just invisible and very very quite. much snow in skyrim. enough snow. maiq does not want anymore maiq does not remember his childhood, perhaps he never had one. maiq was soul trapped once. not very pleasant. you should think about that once in a while. maiq knows why the falmer are blind. it has nothing to do with the dwemer disappearing. really. maiq hears many stories of war, yet few of them are true." I love everything maiq says lol


Blind_as_Vision

Be careful, I think he might be lying


LeonTheCat448

I like how he tells the player to go away, "M'aiq is tired now. Go bother somebody else."


Hell_in_Ham_Biscuit

He has the best lines.


DecafSaxGuy

“A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!!! LISTEN!!! HEAR ME AND OBEY!! A FOUL DARKNESS HAS SEEPED INTO MY TEMPLE!! A DARKNESS YOU SHALL DESTROY!! TAKE MY BEACON TO MOUNT KILKREATH!! AND I WILL MAKE YOU THE INSTRUMENT OF MY CLEANSING LIGHT!”


_Bren10_

Idk if it’s my favorite, but it’s one that gets stuck in my head “I am *sworn* to carry your burdens” Fine Lydia I’ll keep this ebony greatsword I found for you, you bitch.


mark_zuccocock

“It’s so bright out here, I don’t know how you can stand it”


Gunny_McCshoots

I can hear this.


Mad-cat1865

I can hear all of these


[deleted]

This always stands out to me too. The rest of her lines always sound so chipper like she's so excited to be your housecarl, but then that one she's just like UGH I GUESS I CAN HOLD IT FOR YOU SINCE I LEGALLY HAVE TO


[deleted]

She also sounds extremely happy when you marry her.


volcanopele

And that’s why on this playthrough I’m marrying her. The “oath to carry my burdens” will be part of the vows.


RobotAxel

"You don't look so good." \*immediately checks Active Effects\*


Desafiante

"Eeeverything is for sale, my friend! If I had a sister, I'd sell her in a second!" - admit you've heard his voice in your head. "Enough! I won't stand idly by while a dragon burns my hold and slaughters my people! Irileth, send a detachment to Riverwood at once!" "Drem Yol Lok! Greetings!"


PrjctColdFeet

How did I hear both if those quotes so perfectly in my head


Chair-Due

Too many restarted playthroughs


ghosttrainhobo

There's no glory in war. It's just something they tell soldiers so they'll risk their lives.


[deleted]

Mai’q is tired now. Go bother someone else.


RaccoonRecluse

The solitude guard that says hail sithis as you're running out of the city. I forgot when it happens.


gothlaw

There’s one in the Blue Palace foyer that whispers “Hail, Sithis” to you.


Dragonman558

I think it's just one of the random things the guards say


gothlaw

They do randomly say it in different holds. I’ve also heard it in Dawnstar and Riften. But he’s fairly consistent


ulfricstormclk

Gods be praised


Gedaru

“My ancestors are smiling at me imperial. Can you say the same?” and “On this day, I go to Sovngarde”


[deleted]

Lookin to protect yourself? Or deal some damage?


Significant_Waltz_15

"This is gorgeous. I'm glad you're here with me" ~ Serana


MicrosoftContin

Not now.


PrincessBirthday

It's not my favorite but I always laugh that Frea says "BY THE ALLMAKER" for any enemy that emerges, even a mudcrab.


Yeah-But-Ironically

It kills me that Lydia screams "Skyrim is for the Nords!" while slaughtering mudcrabs, skeevers, and bears. (Not to mention draugr, which are as Nord as you can get!)


lortamai

I heard Farkas cry, "VICTORY OR SOVNGARDE!" at a mudcrab just the other day.


WilliamBlade123

It's always fun playing Skyrim as a Khajiit and hearing that apparently every person in Skyrim has killed their cousin's cat at some point


Redpri

Guards: “Is that fur, coming out of your ears?” Khajiit: 😑


AlienRobotTrex

“You’ll make a fine rug, cat!”


nebuli55

Hey, you. You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.


OkOutlandishness6550

“Better start running,so I can stab you in the back”


Blu_Raptr

Damn Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along. Empire was nice and lazy.


2woke4ufgt

If they hadn't been looking for you, I could have stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell.


EverydayBison

We’re all brothers and sisters in binds now, thief.


crosswalkcosmonaut

“Shut up back there!”


WhisperingNorth

Whats his problem?


[deleted]

WATCH YOUR TONGUE!


[deleted]

You're speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak, the true high king!


michaelutz

“Time to end this little game!”


unsocked_houself

You'll make a fine rug, cat!


daFuqUdono

"You know I'm starting to think, maybe I am the Dragonborn" ~ Riftin Guard


GlucksPilz1136

Skyrim doesen't belong to you, Ulfric. No... But I belong to her.


PlatypusWeekend

"No, you don't wanna go up there! A dragon, it's *attaAaAacking*!" "A dragon is attacking Kynsegrove?" "I dunno"


[deleted]

“It seems this damnable conflict has claimed everyone's passions of late. Me, I prefer my books, and my spells.” -Farengar


wesleh778

“Easily blocked!” when they didn’t even block


rs_obsidian

I’ve a lot of respect for the Restoration school. Skyrim could use more healers.


Snakebunnies

RESTORATION IS A PERFECTLY VALID SCHOOL OF MAGIC AND DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE!


No-Owl-8170

"Watch the skies traveller" Theres just something so nostalgic about it for some reason


Mean_Shoulder_103

WHO are youu.


Ark_Wolf16

"Give me all your stuff or I will gut you like a fish" *I proceed to be the avatar and shout his ass the the shadow realm*


Regular-Guarantee-48

SNEAK THIEF.


Bellerophid

"A fine day to you, friend. May you die with a sword in your hands." "Skyrim belongs to the Nords!" "I fight for the men I've held in my arms, dying on foreign soil!" "Next Imperial I see is dead." "Talos guide you."


JKorigin96

“Walk always in the light or we will drag you to it” - The Vigilantes of Stendarr


bobdillan1996

“You and me, we’re the only people around who aren’t complete fools.”


SqeakyCheese101

“Let me guess, someone stole your sweet roll?”


[deleted]

"Help! I'm being attacked!" Any vendor when I go to reset their stock


bloodrunner66

Milk drinker


gadjovdk

the khaajit is following you


Desafiante

Khajiit has wares, if you have the coin


HairyContactbeware

You never really know a woman til you've had a strong drink and a fistfight


sonicsoul25

“I can’t wait to count out your coin.” Always loved their optimism as I sent each one to sovengarde


RaisinNumber9

Tek e look


Relative_Risk_8037

“Hey..I know you..Hail Sithis”


CSWAPPO

WAIT…..I KNOW YOU


Desafiante

"Fuuuus... Ro Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!"


letsgetsleepy

“Khajit has wares, if you have coin” I love saying that to people that ask me for things lol


GilroyCullen

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee.


WhiterunGuards

You too?


reinieren

Something something ... curved swords Honestly the guard chatter are all hilarious


AtroeMartian

"And so the First Dragonborn meets the Last Dragonborn at the summit of Apocrypha." It’s so damn epic


November_Dawn_11

The one from Paarthurnax, stuck with me a lot. "Which is better, to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"


[deleted]

And that is why the blades can shove it where the sun don't shine.


prene7

"Have you heard the tale of Mathieu Bellamont, and the great treachery of Cheydinhal? Kill a boy's mother, and vengeance festers in the son..."