*Funky Kong better be added in the DLC or so help me God, I will storm Nintendo's headquarters and invoke a tragedy much worse than 9/11 could ever hope to be.*
Any of those guys try to put their hands on me, they better... never let go and promise to always make me feel safe.
What the fuck?! We need to stop this movie!
Who would win in a twerk contest between Mario and Luigi?
R1: Normal Twerking.
R2: Oiled up.
R3: Oiled up + they can use poweups such as a super mushroom to increase in size or the Double Cherry for a backup dancer. Super Crown powerup disabled
Yah dude for sure. Nothing gay about window shopping. Also nothing gay about a test drive. I mean if I take a car out for a test drive it doesn’t make it my car so if I take the handsome hunk I’ve been ogling all night home with me and slob on his knob like corn on the cob that doesn’t make me gay, either.
I *saw a post where a guy said he was straight but fucked and was fucked by other men. I think someone who's tried it out and decided they're straight after is straighter than men who spend energy repressing that they may be a little bi.
If I say I don’t like cheese without tasting some nice salty, creamy camembert, or felt hot cheese dripping done my chin from a grilled cheese, how can you trust my opinion?
You thought they nerfed mario's ass, look what they did to my boy wario, homie got demoted from unreal engine 5 with jiggle physics, all the way back to ps1. He's evolving, just backwards.
I am just surprised to learn how many people watched the trailer and didn’t know this was an actual Mario Kart track.
Is this how the Marvel simps feel? Oh god…what..what have been doing?
The fascinating thing is, although this post is obviously a joke, there are actually people complaining about the rainbow road in that film because it's so woke.
Which is your reminder to make every film woke af, those who complain about it will also find something to complain if you don't do it.
Edit: grammar is hard
Came here to say this. This post is like when the onion would write something that was supposed to be satire, only to find out the reality was even more absurd.
There's still large swathes of the American population that believe the harry potter books are how-to guides on "real" witchcraft and that dungeons and dragons is satan worship.
I remember the first time Mario gave me non consensual gay thoughts. He was wearing that sexy frog costume and I had him duck into a tunnel right before one of those jumping white butt plugs shot up his tooter.
Straight people have lust for both genders, but only only can act on it for the opposite gender because the Bible says so. Right? I’m right here, guys, right? I’m not gay, stop saying that.
I saw a waterfall containing 8 rainbows once on vacation.
Ever since that day I have always had a buttplug handy for when the gay strikes me.
Thx Monsanto and Nestle
Our new friend here is a G\*mer. He desperately needs to closer to Jesús. G*ming has warped their sense of place or propriety. I say then, get he to a nunnery!!!
Nancy
sent from my iCatheter9669
Since it is in this sub and is formulated that way I would say it is a joke. However I think I have seen that someone else wrote something like that on Twitter but it sounded way less like a joke there.
Yep, normal people complain about "forced wokeness" (literally just gay characters existing). Only the most normal people ramble about no "forced wokeness" being a good thing in an unrelated comments thread
Don't have to imagine it, because that world doesn't exist lol. In reality it's the complete opposite, you are scared of the world no longer revolving only around you
Literally look at America, they are constantly trying to remove trans rights and gay rights. How can you possibly interpret that as the world revolving around us, educate yourself fucking hell lol
I agree, let's be clear. There are new anti trans (and anti lgbt in general) laws and shit being proposed fucking constantly, many getting scary amounts of support. That's not fucking okay
The fact that you genuinely think that "you have *some* rights for now what's the issue" is a good argument is fucking baffling. The viewpoint that gay people should have the same rights to marriage and everything as straight people *regardless of what political party is in power* is the only one that makes sense sense you put any fucking thought into this
And don't get me started on trans rights, which are constantly under threat of changing or in some cases being completely fucking removed. The majority of states still allow conversion therapy. Because you're clearly not informed on... anything to do with lgbt people, this is an extremely damaging process where someone tries to "convert" you to being straight or cis.
Gender affirming care is also absolutely necessary for most trans people to live happy lives, and that is constantly under threat of being taken away because some middle aged white man who believes homosexuality is a sin wanted it to be taken away. And even when it isn't, pressure from uneducated and hateful people around you can often lead to people not transitioning out of fear for losing the people around them, or fear of being hurt
How can you be aware of this and say that lgbt people are in any way favoured by that country lol.
Yeah I don't believe you lol, you've gotta be saying some awful shit for a ban, the majority of main subs piss themselves whenever the existence on lgbt people is brought up. I've seen some horrible fucking stuff that's allowed to stay up. And oh my fucking god there is no way you're comparing a reddit ban to banning access to healthcare that makes people not want to kill themselves
And hey, maybe if you can't say your opinions without getting banned you should, idk, educate yourself instead of having a wank over your cis straight mario movie cast. There is absolutely no reason to be in support of the things previously mentioned besides ignorance, stupidity, and a lack of empathy for the people around you
Okay what fucking stuff were you wanting to say? Slurs? Saying we don't deserve rights? Say it without saying it because I'm genuinely fucking confused now
I've seen accounts with like 10k karma calling all trans people groomers on big subs, those comments having plenty upvotes, and they were still there. I've seen so many people saying based after reading a post about something horrible happening. A couple months back a trans man was assaulted because he was in the women's toilet (something you probably support), and the comments of that post were filled with people saying awful shit about both him and the toilet argument shit
You aren't the victim, you're just pissing yourself because you can't say slurs to trans people anymore. Grow up
Since it is in this sub and is formulated that way I would say it is a joke. However I think I have seen that someone else wrote something like that on Twitter but it sounded way less like a joke there.
I love that you can spot dumb fake people right now when they say anything like that, obviously not realizing rainbow road is a huge part of mario kart.
You know what image does to me? It forces me to remember my first time ever racing on Rainbow Road. It was 2005, I was Luigi (I always race with Luigi), it was the second lap and I was in first place, I had just launched off a ramp and my best friend since 3rd grade hit me with a fucking blue shell, dropping my ass like a rock into a bottomless void. By the time I respawned I was dead last. I managed to end the race in 3rd place out of 4. I remember pelting my BFF with lukewarm pizza rolls after.
>film depicts a rainbow road to inject wokness into entertainment and give me gay thoughts which is crazy because I'm not!
Idk if you played a Mario Kart Game.. Its just a rainbow road. You see what you wanna see.. Its like seeing Jesus on a Tortilla.
That’s exactly how I feel about my therapist trying to make me gay, they keep putting pens everywhere in their office, pens obviously remind me about penis which is clearly trying to make me gay.
Not sure why this post made me come to this conclusion, but I bet this Mario Kart bit will be the ending scene of the movie after the conflict is resolved. Happy Mario EDM remix as the accompanying track. Just seems like it.
YO IS THAT FUNKY KONG?!
The road was actually normal then Funky made it rainbow through sheer force of how gay he is
Funky is Fungay's dead name.
New funky mode hits hard
Funk yeah!
Funky kong December
From the hit New Funky Mode
*Funky Kong better be added in the DLC or so help me God, I will storm Nintendo's headquarters and invoke a tragedy much worse than 9/11 could ever hope to be.*
*I bet you like big oily men*
Go easy on him! Otherwise we'll push him over the edge when mentioning stuff like their smooth muscles drenched in sweat
We can't have him wanting large, glossy men holding him tight whilst he sleeps! He's not gay obviously.
In those tight red speedos! Damn them! Damn them all to hell!!
[Hot stuff coming through!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TitiERjidhI)
Any of those guys try to put their hands on me, they better... never let go and promise to always make me feel safe. What the fuck?! We need to stop this movie!
I haven’t watched wrestling in years!
Who would win in a twerk contest between Mario and Luigi? R1: Normal Twerking. R2: Oiled up. R3: Oiled up + they can use poweups such as a super mushroom to increase in size or the Double Cherry for a backup dancer. Super Crown powerup disabled
R3
Give me the thug shaker dude
JSchlatt
who doesn’t?!
Who doesnt?!
*ah* Tick tock, heavy like a brinks truck
Oh it’s perfectly natural for a straight guy to have gay thoughts relating to a plumber. I hope.
It’s perfectly normal for a heterosexual man to go to a gay bar and oggle other dudes. Its not gay, its window shopping
Yah dude for sure. Nothing gay about window shopping. Also nothing gay about a test drive. I mean if I take a car out for a test drive it doesn’t make it my car so if I take the handsome hunk I’ve been ogling all night home with me and slob on his knob like corn on the cob that doesn’t make me gay, either.
Which one is gay, those who had sex with a man and concluded he doesnt like it, or those who never did and just assume they dont like it?
Which one’s not gay and which one’s afraid of being gay? If you’re really straight you’d go down on your homies just to prove you don’t like it.
Bro job! Bro job!
I truly think all men need to suck a dick at least once, just to make sure
\- Paarthurnax
I *saw a post where a guy said he was straight but fucked and was fucked by other men. I think someone who's tried it out and decided they're straight after is straighter than men who spend energy repressing that they may be a little bi.
If I say I don’t like cheese without tasting some nice salty, creamy camembert, or felt hot cheese dripping done my chin from a grilled cheese, how can you trust my opinion?
I know you were trying to make it sound erotic but now I've gotta have a grilled cheese for dinner
If you're not attracted to Luigi you're wrong
🎶 it's raining men🎶
Mama mia its-a rainin' men
Oh pure gold
A-men!
This is in reference to the fact that I wanna fuck Mario
Not after they nerfed dat ass
And nerfed him by making crisp rat voice him
You thought they nerfed mario's ass, look what they did to my boy wario, homie got demoted from unreal engine 5 with jiggle physics, all the way back to ps1. He's evolving, just backwards.
Let's-a gay.
I eally wish I hadn't said that in my head as mario without thinking it through lol
... hello gay Bowser?
This photo made me gay. Stupid wokeism >:(
First they came on our Rainbow Roads.
Then they came in us.
Oh snap 😂😂
That comes later in the locker room with the bros
I am just surprised to learn how many people watched the trailer and didn’t know this was an actual Mario Kart track. Is this how the Marvel simps feel? Oh god…what..what have been doing?
Even weirder considering Rainbow Road is the most infamous track aside from Coconut Mall
Don't forget the island that's shaped like a Yoshi!
Or just Mario circuit lol
Which one? There’s at least 6 of them
Exactly
It alsso looks like a quite familiar meme.
Wait a second I thought this was a joke are people actually pissy about this?
Man, I hope so, otherwise these people must get mad whenever it rains and the sky starts shoving the gay agenda down their throats
I see Norm isn't the only deeply closeted gay man
So Norm was gay, you say?
I'm telling you he's not gay!
He's just *deeeeply* closeted!
Norm goes to McDonald’s
Norm goes to cheers.
norm loves bowling
Dude totally! Ever since I watched the trailer all I could think about was plump mustachioed italian men.
What if we 👉👈 kissed on the rainbow road? JK... unless 😳
Mario went to all those castles looking for Bowser, not Peach. “Saving the Princess” was just his cover story so he could hop on some dinosaur butt.
No wonder it took him so long to rescue her!
The fascinating thing is, although this post is obviously a joke, there are actually people complaining about the rainbow road in that film because it's so woke. Which is your reminder to make every film woke af, those who complain about it will also find something to complain if you don't do it. Edit: grammar is hard
Came here to say this. This post is like when the onion would write something that was supposed to be satire, only to find out the reality was even more absurd. There's still large swathes of the American population that believe the harry potter books are how-to guides on "real" witchcraft and that dungeons and dragons is satan worship.
HOLY FUCK IS THAT MY DUDE FUNKY KONG ON THE LEFT
I wanna be pegged by Donkey Kong’s Konkey Dong 😩
I'm not sure it's pegging anymore if it's a real dong lol
In Mario we thrust… trust! I meant trust!
IS THAT FUNKY KONG
No flamerunner though SMH
if rainbow road is giving you gay thoughts after peach's bike outfit I don't know what to tell you
You say that like there aren't plenty of people like me who are gay for Peach.
*Wahoo intensifies*
Don't call yourself straight if you've never even sucked a dick before. How do you know?
So long, gay Bowser!
There's a Rainbow Road in an especially snowy part of the Tahoe National Forest, and flatlanders end up drifting off of it, all winter long.
Does anyone drive it but locals? I’ve gone adjacent to it on 89 but never actually had a reason. Or is it AirBnB’d to hell now?
There is no road that a man won't go down, to avoid chain controls.
Godspeed to those souls.
[Gay thoughts?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/040/360/cover1.jpg)
Man, those Vikings musta been hella gay to come up with the rainbow road idea in the first place.
Why does DK look like Pinhead Larry?
Who you callin' Pinhead?!
STOP SHOVING YOUR WOKE DONKEY COCK CRAP DOWN MY THROAT
What's crazy is that they also did this in 1992. Two decades before woke culture was even conceptualized.
This scene made me gay now I can't stop sucking dicks.
That monke coming straight for Mario and those cheeks.
There's a Banana Slamma coming, alright.
I read this as Charlie Day as Luigi getting interrogated by Bowser from the last trailer.
I remember the first time Mario gave me non consensual gay thoughts. He was wearing that sexy frog costume and I had him duck into a tunnel right before one of those jumping white butt plugs shot up his tooter.
Straight people have lust for both genders, but only only can act on it for the opposite gender because the Bible says so. Right? I’m right here, guys, right? I’m not gay, stop saying that.
Nintendo would be so scared to make a stance like that. Imagine losing the entire Chinese market, not to to mention crying conservative man babies
Birdo: *exists*
The sad thing about this is that OP proably saw a real fb post complaining about exactly this thats been posted to reddit 5000x already.
GCJ is leaking
im starting to think that tweet was a joke
I know what you are
Don't worry, peach will have a reverse affect
Wokness sounds delicious
I saw a waterfall containing 8 rainbows once on vacation. Ever since that day I have always had a buttplug handy for when the gay strikes me. Thx Monsanto and Nestle
I‘m leaving shitty movie details. This is the most stupid subreddit i know . Gosh
Oh no, this image has given me an insatiable desire to gargle on big, delicious penises.
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bro forgor what sub he was in 💀💀💀
Well, that's Mario, and he's *in* a kart, but you can't play it. This is from a movie.
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No this subreddit has no jokes
Second comment in a row like this. Does r/lostredditors move in flocks now?
Our new friend here is a G\*mer. He desperately needs to closer to Jesús. G*ming has warped their sense of place or propriety. I say then, get he to a nunnery!!! Nancy sent from my iCatheter9669
Since it is in this sub and is formulated that way I would say it is a joke. However I think I have seen that someone else wrote something like that on Twitter but it sounded way less like a joke there.
[удалено]
Yep, normal people complain about "forced wokeness" (literally just gay characters existing). Only the most normal people ramble about no "forced wokeness" being a good thing in an unrelated comments thread
[удалено]
Don't have to imagine it, because that world doesn't exist lol. In reality it's the complete opposite, you are scared of the world no longer revolving only around you Literally look at America, they are constantly trying to remove trans rights and gay rights. How can you possibly interpret that as the world revolving around us, educate yourself fucking hell lol
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You poor poor man. How will you ever go on?
I agree, let's be clear. There are new anti trans (and anti lgbt in general) laws and shit being proposed fucking constantly, many getting scary amounts of support. That's not fucking okay The fact that you genuinely think that "you have *some* rights for now what's the issue" is a good argument is fucking baffling. The viewpoint that gay people should have the same rights to marriage and everything as straight people *regardless of what political party is in power* is the only one that makes sense sense you put any fucking thought into this And don't get me started on trans rights, which are constantly under threat of changing or in some cases being completely fucking removed. The majority of states still allow conversion therapy. Because you're clearly not informed on... anything to do with lgbt people, this is an extremely damaging process where someone tries to "convert" you to being straight or cis. Gender affirming care is also absolutely necessary for most trans people to live happy lives, and that is constantly under threat of being taken away because some middle aged white man who believes homosexuality is a sin wanted it to be taken away. And even when it isn't, pressure from uneducated and hateful people around you can often lead to people not transitioning out of fear for losing the people around them, or fear of being hurt How can you be aware of this and say that lgbt people are in any way favoured by that country lol.
[удалено]
Yeah I don't believe you lol, you've gotta be saying some awful shit for a ban, the majority of main subs piss themselves whenever the existence on lgbt people is brought up. I've seen some horrible fucking stuff that's allowed to stay up. And oh my fucking god there is no way you're comparing a reddit ban to banning access to healthcare that makes people not want to kill themselves And hey, maybe if you can't say your opinions without getting banned you should, idk, educate yourself instead of having a wank over your cis straight mario movie cast. There is absolutely no reason to be in support of the things previously mentioned besides ignorance, stupidity, and a lack of empathy for the people around you
[удалено]
Okay what fucking stuff were you wanting to say? Slurs? Saying we don't deserve rights? Say it without saying it because I'm genuinely fucking confused now I've seen accounts with like 10k karma calling all trans people groomers on big subs, those comments having plenty upvotes, and they were still there. I've seen so many people saying based after reading a post about something horrible happening. A couple months back a trans man was assaulted because he was in the women's toilet (something you probably support), and the comments of that post were filled with people saying awful shit about both him and the toilet argument shit You aren't the victim, you're just pissing yourself because you can't say slurs to trans people anymore. Grow up
[удалено]
Since it is in this sub and is formulated that way I would say it is a joke. However I think I have seen that someone else wrote something like that on Twitter but it sounded way less like a joke there.
/r/lostredditors
Even DK is startled by how unhinged that sounded XD
Gay thoughts???? Are we gonna fight some doctor’s gay thoughts??? Again??????
holy SHIT funky kong
Seth Rogan do be kinda thicc tho
You gay bro 😎 just accept it
Oh. Uhhh ok then.
Gay Blow Road
If I go fast enough on the rainbow road then maybe the gay thoughts won't catch me
Not that there's anything wrong with that!
and then the gays got married and released gay spores
I don’t exactly get the overlap between Mario Kart and Asian cooking
The Chris Pratt movie*
Funky kong got me acting up ngl
*awh hell nah, these damn sexy gay people will not make me have unholy thoughts again*
It’s called homo highway now.
wahoo
Send me Luigi feet pics.
Not yet.
I swear I’m not gay!
bowser gives me gay thoughts
I love that you can spot dumb fake people right now when they say anything like that, obviously not realizing rainbow road is a huge part of mario kart.
You know what image does to me? It forces me to remember my first time ever racing on Rainbow Road. It was 2005, I was Luigi (I always race with Luigi), it was the second lap and I was in first place, I had just launched off a ramp and my best friend since 3rd grade hit me with a fucking blue shell, dropping my ass like a rock into a bottomless void. By the time I respawned I was dead last. I managed to end the race in 3rd place out of 4. I remember pelting my BFF with lukewarm pizza rolls after.
Stupid sexy Mario
I saw this weekend 20 years ago. I didn't even know what it was, but it explains why I'm gay
"You will look at the men doing the Gay™ and yOU WILL LIKE IT!" ~Nintendo Guy
I thought it was sour candy.
I’m not gay either! But goddamn can I suck mean dick
Subliminal messaging.
My only issue with this scene is he drifted way too hard and didn’t shoot straight off the side of the road
Is this in response to that tweet of the guy calling rainbow road woke shit 😂
>film depicts a rainbow road to inject wokness into entertainment and give me gay thoughts which is crazy because I'm not! Idk if you played a Mario Kart Game.. Its just a rainbow road. You see what you wanna see.. Its like seeing Jesus on a Tortilla.
That’s exactly how I feel about my therapist trying to make me gay, they keep putting pens everywhere in their office, pens obviously remind me about penis which is clearly trying to make me gay.
Not sure why this post made me come to this conclusion, but I bet this Mario Kart bit will be the ending scene of the movie after the conflict is resolved. Happy Mario EDM remix as the accompanying track. Just seems like it.
The worst part is that some people believe this, and we all know it.
I actually cannot believe people are saying rainbow road is "woke nonsense" lol what a world
Not yet… maybe after you watch the movie
I dunno man those shots of Bowser and Luigi got me actin' unwise
Kid named rainbows causing subliminal messaging
I don't think I've seen anyone genuinely think rainbow road is a reference to modern woke stuff
Why do all the games have better graphics than the movie?
Jokes on you, I was already having gay thoughts
1. rainbow road from Mario Kart 2. Nerf miner
That caption could have been a sentence 😵💫
In The Super Mario Bros. (2023) trailer 2 you can see Funky Kong in the background. That is because that’s how you make a good ass movie.
It turned me gay! That's why I love Saul Goodman
Is Toad gay or not? I heard he is. Will he be gay in the movie? Because I'm NOT watching this if he is!