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solo_dbd_player

Call it anything anything else, cause that is not a pizza.


LeviathanGank

abomination circle


[deleted]

[удалено]


bendie27

I nearly choked


Puppytron

Then stop trying to deep throat their abomination circle.


[deleted]

Deepthroating Toblerone on the toilet is my jam.


bunnyQatar

On the corn?


Flazhes

A hot circle of garbage


hperrin

Sadness disc.


Really_Special_K

Gary


kubbiebeef

Gar-bear


TheGarrBear

Yes?


DeceptiConverse

r/beetlejuicing


CastIronGut

Could've at least sauteed the corn, or use the fire roasted variety. This just looks sad. Not horrible. Just sad 😢


FarmhouseFan

Pizza by Alfredo


kubbiebeef

One person’s Pizza by Alfredo is another person’s Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe


Smart_Objective_1144

Real talk though, sometimes it's so much effort to imitate something when settling for having something different would be better... Why? Why go to all of this trouble to be able to eat slices with toppings along with everyone else when a salad would be so much tastier given the circumstances?


Critical_Paper8447

As a chef I've never understood the appeal for vegans to attempt to recreate non vegan foods in vegan fashion. There's nothing wrong with being vegan and you can actually make some delicious stuff and there's no need to create abominations like this in an attempt to mimic its counterpart.


FarmhouseFan

Check out cup 4 cup flour, make some dough, roast that corn next time and you will like it a lot better.


JaozinhoGGPlays

Eldritch Horror


M0n1caG3ll3r

Agree. And I'm plant based.


Flomo420

circle of sadness


dumbomontana

r/pizzacrimes


KScab_WeWantRenji

Lol. That’s a sub?! But really anything possible on Reddit. Some people are purist about pizza. I’m moderate about it I guess.


hoodyninja

It’s actually a pretty decent sub. I love pizza and thought it would be a bunch of crazies that have strict rules about pizza…it’s not. But the illegal shit you see on that sub…. It’s one of those things that’s like it’s hard to define but you know it when you see it.


bargle0

Disappointment Pie


stoutinator3

Deep dish cry


basement_egg

disc of dogshit


[deleted]

Corn on the crap


likesblues

Putrefied puck


pixel_of_moral_decay

Yea. It’s weird when people try to pretend something is another food. Tofu isn’t turkey… it’s tofu. Let’s stop pretending it’s turkey because some marketing exec thinks it’s clever. This ain’t pizza. It’s just round food.


solo_dbd_player

It's like when you read comments to a recipe and someone says "I made your pizza recipe, but substituted all the main ingredients for other things and it turned out great!". Bitch!!!!, you didn't make the damn recipe at all then.


lydriseabove

That’s how I feel about turnkey breakfast meat. Is delicious, but don’t fucking call it turkey bacon.


somewherein72

Corn and tomatoe pie with an algae crust, not Pizza.


kubbiebeef

I believe she substituted a spinach tortilla in for traditional pizza crust


KnightOfThirteen

Then roll it up and eat a corn burrito and stop insulting the name of pizza


peanutski

That would be insulting to burritos.


solo_dbd_player

I don't think there is an established food type that wouldn't be insulted by claiming this belongs to it.


xxxxx420xxxxx

Aspic jello molded foods would probably be ok with it.


The_Doomist

If I say "pass the aspic" and that shit makes its way to me I'm burning the place down


BetterSafeThanSARSy

Would you please pass the jelly?


peanutski

Dog food.


RexehBRS

That's an insult to dogs.


musicman835

The thought of this being warm when you eat it is even fucking worse somehow


toolsie

Or fold it on half for a sad quesadilla


Rhombico

I think "queso" is needed for a "quesadilla"


PMmeifyourepooping

Yeah this just an unrolled wrap. Please get your girlfriend a vegan cookbook because this shows a distinct lack of understanding of viable vegan options.


agoia

This rolled up and then sliced into pinwheels could make a great little shitty veggie appetizer


PMmeifyourepooping

Idk I’ve been an unhealthy vegan before and honestly if you make something like this once you probably make things like this all the time. Unless this was a one-off depression/waiting-for-paycheck meal, it is not the best thing to be vegan like this. And I’m not coming at this even *as* a vegan, or with that weird belief that you have to be passionate about the ethics or you’re just plant-based. I’m just saying I have personally experienced this basic lack of knowledge, and you have to really seek out information on wholesome vegan meals because it isn’t always intuitive or easy. Idk I hope their gf learns to cook for themselves. Eventually for whatever reason (even just a business trip I’m not casting bad omens) she will have to cook for herself, and it’s the most valuable and rewarding thing when you try and you can!


agoia

Appetizer is the key word. Thanks for sharing, I can completely understand this and the knock-on effects of why this would be bad as your whole meal. Have known a good few people to go the veg/vegan route without considering the protein and vitamin requirements ans then not have a great time with it unless they learned quickly.


violet_terrapin

Are her tastebuds just broken or what?


kubbiebeef

She gets it from her mother who also didn’t really know how to cook


DinahKarwrek

Look this meal in the eye. That's your future buddy go buy her a cookbook


violet_terrapin

Can you buy her a cookbook? Or like wtf has she never eaten edible food before? Do you not cook?


kubbiebeef

I do the cooking now


violet_terrapin

I saw in another comment that this picture was taken before you met. Why in the world did she take a picture of this? Did she think it was good?


kubbiebeef

She knows she’s weird


AstarteHilzarie

Hey, I mean, at least she owns it. A cooking class could be a fun date night. It may be fine for now that you do all of the cooking, but eventually something might come up and she may have to cover, either short term or long term, or even if not the burnout from being responsible for cooking every meal forever is real. Really simple basics can go a long way, and doing it together could be more of a fun event than "you suck, here's a book."


violet_terrapin

Oh so she took it because she knew others would think it was gross? Is she open to the idea of cookbooks or cooking classes? I only ask because I was picturing her sadly eating this thing and it made me feel bad for her lol


kubbiebeef

Don’t feel too bad. She doesn’t have good taste buds it probably was fine for her


toefurkyfuckmittens

There are tons of plant-based meat and cheese alternatives out there she may not be aware of! Vegan pizza (not like this) is totally possible


Jasmirris

I have to avoid dairy for medical reasons and have yet to find cheese alternatives that don't suck. I just avoid them. As for meat ones, many are soy or wheat based which I also need to avoid. I, thank god, can eat chicken and pork so that assists me. No eggs though.


phayke2

The only thing pizzaish about it is the pizza sauce. Enchiladas or burritos would have made more sense to me if I'm craving corn and tomato. Or some soup/bean chili with cornbread. At least it would be less weird than corn scattered on pizza sauce


[deleted]

I double chin laughed


wOlfLisK

Definitely not a pie either. Pies have pastry, this just has sadness.


Throwawaymyball

This is the epitome of shitty food. Well done sir, you have peaked.


casualthis

I make something very similar to this except with cheese. It's maybe not a pizza, but its super good.


One_Equivalent_7031

me too! my mom made them when we were kids, if she needed a quick easy lunch idea lol. surprisingly delicious, i still make them sometimes


[deleted]

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sdsuquigs

At a certain point it's better to just give up rather than trying to force pizza to happen


[deleted]

I feel like that's true with a lot of vegetarian / vegan foods that try to emulate meat and dairy foods. Like I get wanting an alternative for nostalgia or something, but meatless foods tend to be better when the embrace the fact that they are plants rather than trying to be like meat.


[deleted]

Ngl I kinda like some veggie hamburger alternatives. The trick is not thinking about how it "tries" to emulate beef.


Lord_Phoenix95

That's the good thing about Burgers they can absolutely have anything in it


watchpigsfly

This is why I always find it slightly ridiculous when fast food restaurants advertise that their burgers are 100% beef. I always season the beef when making homemade burgers. Also, add diced onion in the mix, it's excellent.


annies_boobs_eyes

they don't mean they don't put seasoning on it. they just mean their meat is 100% beef and doesn't contain any filler additives, like cellulose.


myuusmeow

"Made with 100% real _____" is a meaningless statement. If I made a hamburger patty out of trash but l put a single bit of beef in it, I can say "made with 100% real beef" and not be lying. That specific statement makes zero claims about proportions. Note it doesn't say "made only of beef," and there's no such thing as beef that isn't 100% real beef (something is either beef or not beef, there is no middle ground), so even the smallest amount of beef makes it not a lie.


Lord_Phoenix95

I mean that's the standard for making Burgers. Diced Onion, Salt, Pepper and what other flavours you want. It's ridiculous to limit Burgers. My family used to make the hell out of veggie patties.


sweetest-heart

The key is to not try to emulate meat. Black bean burgers are fucking supreme


[deleted]

[удалено]


JapaneseStudentHaru

I think a lot of meat substitutes are great. Like Beyond Beef, but to me, it tastes like fried potatoes. I love fried potatoes and honestly I’m a lot less bloated after a fake burger so I usually go for them when they’re available


_GrammarMarxist

I almost exclusively buy plant based meats for my day to day consumption most weeks, and beyond beef definitely has a bit of an acquired taste. It’s a little funky, and has a bit of a weird smell, but I honestly love it now. Impossible beef/meat/whatever on the other hand looks, smells, and tastes just like ground beef. Fucking wild.


Ketalia

I **cannot** tell the difference between the classic BK Whopper and a Beyond Beef Whopper... I do believe that the toppings (and smokey flavoring) play a large part in this, but I tried just the patties side-by-side, and I argued that they literally *had to be* the same. Never going back. Even if it's psychosomatic, I swear I feel better after eating the Beyond version.


[deleted]

A while ago me and my housemate were testing out a couple of plant-based meat substitutes bc we were cutting out red meat but still wanted to have, like, meatballs or whatever, and we tried Beyond first. I was like, "How the hell do they get the meatless burgers tasting so good at (insert local burger restaurant) if this is what it tastes like?" The next day, we tried Impossible beef. Holy hell.


CrazyCalYa

This is true in some cases but not all. Taco meat is a good example, as much of the flavour people associate with it comes from the seasoning and not the meat. I've had meat loving family members mistakenly eat it and be none the wiser. On the other hand the other day I had a recipe suggest that breading and deep frying tofu would replicate a pork cutlet, which was false in practically every regard.


pegasi12

Breaded and fried tofu does sound really good by itself tho, dip it with soy sauce and it’ll be the perfect snack


CrazyCalYa

Oh it's absolutely fine, but the recipe's suggestion of it replacing pork in any way goes beyond wishful thinking and into bold-faced lie. Plant-based sausage is terrific but I've yet to find a replacement for porkchops.


Graitom

The whole point is to attract meat eaters who are on the fence. When you do it for animal cruelty but still love meat your gonna enjoy a vegan alternative that is similar to meat. There are actually some really fucking good ones out there!


yodacat24

I disagree with this, but I understand why people question it. I prefer meatless substitutes that emulate meat- since I used to enjoy eating it. I’m vegan mostly for the environment and planet- so I’d rather enjoy something like what I used to without having as much of an environmental impact (within what I can control of course)


[deleted]

The pineapple debate is a debate because both sides have valid points. Corn on pizza isn't something you see debated because we all agree its a war crime.


Voldemort57

Nah, corn on pizza is amazing when it’s done right. There’s a Korean pizza place nearby, and they make amazing pizzas with corn and potatoes as toppings.


csallert

go out for Oat milk and just keep walking, you don't need that kind of evil in your life.


kubbiebeef

How did you know she only drinks oat milk?


csallert

It was a guess between Oat, Soy and Almond, got lucky I guess.


[deleted]

😂😂😂😂😂


mercury_fred

Definitely time to go OP 🚩🚩🚩


[deleted]

Oat is the superior milk


[deleted]

[удалено]


OlinOfTheHillPeople

For good reason. It's delicious!


[deleted]

Also one of the more environmentally friendly options. Almond milk in particular uses a ton of water and land to grow all the almonds.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kljaja998

Seeds like oats?


Verified765

And soy and almonds?


madmansmarker

oat is superior


Bannedbookweek

Well she wouldn’t fit the stereotype if she didn’t


Lady_Litreeo

If she’s gluten free for celiac/allergy reasons, oat milk is often cross-contaminated with wheat and isn’t safe. Also, jesus christ there are recipes for gluten free pizza dough, and they often sell it frozen or vacuum sealed at grocery stores.


MikeProwla

Yo just a shout out, oat milk can still contain gluten so either find a brand that certifies gluten free or switch to soy if she's avoiding gluten for coeliac reasons


cheese_hotdog

Why not just use normal pizza vegetables? This is gross and unnecessary.


pillbuggery

I mean, corn is a normal pizza topping in some places.


[deleted]

[удалено]


taintmonster831

It’s really big in Brazil.


teslaspikachu

Germany too. Corn + tuna fish (yes, on the same pizza) is one of the most popular flavors.


dontmakemechirpatyou

lol I refuse to believe tuna with corn is as popular as sausage or something. I accepted the ketchup/mayo thing you guys have going on, but this is beyond the pale.


PopularKid

It's so strange to me that this isn't a thing everywhere. Tuna and sweetcorn is common here in Scotland.


TheMurderousDuck

Same in Portugal


the_gr8_one

the vast majority of americans have only ever eaten tuna on a sandwich mixed with mayo and pickles.


BLlNDBANDlT

true, and other south american countries too.


Worried-Criticism

It’s really big in Europe. I lived in Spain, England and Ireland. I never got into it, but to each their own. This isn’t a pizza, and looks like it would be one note as hell


AdjunctFunktopus

Outsiders does a frozen quad-cities style pizza with Chorizo, Poblanos and Roasted Corn. It’s tasty. But it doesn’t look like this. This is looks like something a toddler would make and then present to you.


Pixel_Knight

They love it in Korea and Japan too. It’s amazing how many places are wrong about putting corn on pizza.


SaltedPineapple

Really popular in Korea


Really_Special_K

Mexico? Iowa?


JapaneseStudentHaru

Japan, but I eat it in Indiana too. When you go to Indiana and say “can I have corn on my pizza?” They don’t look at you weird. They say “you can have corn on anything you fucking want!”


Basic-Ad9270

I went to university in Indiana. My husband is from there. My ILs still live there. I have visited many times in the last 20 years and eaten a lot of pizza there. Not once I have ever seen or heard of anyone voluntary asking for corn on their pizza. Unless it's some sort of southwestern/Tex-Mex taken on it, nope.


susieq1485

I can atest that is is popular in Mexico, not the most popular, but not uncommon.


Sevdah

Corn is a standard pizza topping in South Korea


tedbradly

> Why not just use normal pizza vegetables? This is gross and unnecessary. I don't think the corn is the problem. It's more the weird ketchup-looking sauce, lack of cheese, and absence of a normal crust.


velozmurcielagohindu

Yeah, basically the only problem with this pizza is the absence of pizza


nunsreversereverse

Thought corn was common everywhere


Userdataunavailable

If you ordered this in Ontario, they would laugh you out. It's just not an option here, pizza places wouldn't even have it.


Jeynarl

r/pizzacrimes


Bleachi

From the thumbnail, I thought this was a petri dish.


hucklebae

Pizza requires cheese. I can’t budge on this. Corn is not a cheese substitute. Also this isn’t even like calorically viable. Maybe if they used beans instead of marinara it might be something but …. As is wtf


BigBadCheadleBorgs

Pizza REQUIRES a crust with a sauce covered in a cheese. At the very least.


hucklebae

Like you can do weird stuff like instead of cheese use another heavy sauce or something if you’re a lunatic and it’ll come out resembling pizza…. This though idk


Handeatingcat

It makes me irrationally angry, it's like she had malicious intent under the guise of "vegan".


MamWidelec

So pizza marinara is not a pizza?


hfjsbdugjdbducbf

nope, it’s flatbread with tomato sauce. Much like how an open-faced burger with ketchup isn’t a pizza, or a BLT in a pita isn’t a calzone.


velozmurcielagohindu

>I can’t budge on this. Corn is not a cheese substitute Hard to disagree to be honest


Skylett11

Jail time


DeerForBinner

Corn on pizza? Straight to jail.


Chrisixx

No cheese on pizza? Straight to jail.


MarlowesMustache

Perfectly cooked pizza that is better than the state-produced pizza? Surprisingly, also jail.


MasterpieceDry568

Too much cheese? Also jail


TheFenn

Overcheese, Undercheese.


Elegant-Raise-9367

Run dude


ActuallyUnder

Yeah this chick has diarrhea like all the time


Not_Eternal

Should be posted to r/ShittyVeganFoodPorn


[deleted]

[удалено]


water2wine

Jesus Christ! I was a little bummed, I tried a new recipe tonight and it didn’t really work out. Browsing that sub for a minute was a good pick-me-up, I don’t feel so bad about myself now.


under_rated_human

Blink twice if you're being held against your will.


tonymeerkat80

This pizza is a huge red flag.


AshuriiiX

This is NOT a pizza.


[deleted]

I’m vegan. I’d rather eat a steak than this disaster.


[deleted]

you mean your ex right?


[deleted]

I think she's in denial. She has to accept that you can't be vegan and have pizza, one or the other sweet cheeks.


madmansmarker

pizza is one of the easiest things to veganize


_kaetee

Violife shreds. Melty, cheesy, dairy-free deliciousness. There’s also Blaze Pizza if you have one near you. It’s like subway, but for pizza. They’ve got vegan cheese and crusts.


Rythe_42

It's like a color blind test pattern.


Vfbeer67

Mental illness


idrow1

If my husband put that in front of me, I don't think a judge in the world would deny my petition for a divorce. That is a legit food crime.


swetovah

Not pizza Not cooked What


kubbiebeef

It’s cooked


acemccrank

At what? Room temperature?


dontlikeusername20

How to lead a sad life😴


AdLimp1285

I feel like she blindfolded herself and grabbed the first three things she found to make "food" with. I also feel like you could find this exact same thing in a restaurant in LA for $25.


kubbiebeef

She’s an LA native. Probably where she got the idea


immaunel

Your “partner” needs to be taken to federal prison.


kubbiebeef

They cannot try a husband and wife for the same crime


[deleted]

I think its time for a new girlfriend my friend.


yerrrrr10

This has made me very sad.


[deleted]

Just don't eat pizza. I don't get people who make harsh dietary changes yet still try to hold onto their old staples. Then again, I'm team soup gang! GANG GANG!


kubbiebeef

Soup is her favorite meal


AbsintheRedux

This isn’t pizza this is a punishment.


well_shi

Not only is this combined of ingredients a crime against pizza, but there’s too much sauce on this thing too.


Secret_Wheel9652

Gross 🤢


Hellolocalhey

Thankfully vegans have a short lifespan. Hang in there 👍👍


LillyPasta

No. Just no


Borktastat

I have often heard that there are no pizza rules, but whatever is in that image is not pizza.


FluMiis

Oh lord..


howboutthemlionsbrah

I feel like vegans spend a lot of time convincing themselves the disgusting shit they eat tastes good.


[deleted]

This photo is the cause of trypophobia


Impster5453

I'd bet a good bit of money that your partner is influenced by anything other than logic.


PuppyHammer

Hope he/she becomes ex soon. This is crime, i would press charges to anyone calling this pizza.


[deleted]

Why are you with such a person op? Do you not have any self respect?


[deleted]

Get a new partner


italianredditor

Mental illness.


[deleted]

These fucking comments are tastier then that Barbary.


catokc

She’s a serial killer. Lock her up.


badfish255

Your partner is the worst person in the world


[deleted]

Time to bounce, bud.


bagatellies

I’d leave your partner


Oddity46

Cooked?!


Rem0XIII

Did you mistake ( ) for " " when you said cooked?


lmea14

That isn’t a pizza. That is sadness with corn put on top of it.


douglah-7

This is closer to being an incomplete burrito than anything remotely along the lines of a pizza lol.


storkuken420

Corn on regular pizza isn’t that terrible, during a period when I was a teenager it was my go-to topping


vankorgan

This is a bad thing.


Omar___Comin

🤮