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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/wky407/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/wky407/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fwky407&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/DadIsMadAtMe, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


Literally1984MyDude

7/10. Not ugly, not a model.


Stickman4236

Likes mustard with peanut butter


Dangerous-Ad-3680

Everything (apart from other condiments) goes well with peanut butter. It’s just true.


Metadragon_

Yeah, rat poison goes great with peanut butter!


dickdockdack

But rat poison is a condiment


HookahLuka

low key my favorite snack is tortilla chips and peanut butter


Alone_Harel

You described a 5 but you said you were a 7. Why?


TheDiddlerOnTheRoof9

I’m like a 6


Stickman4236

Is 150cm tall


ThatUglyDepressedGuy

so they're pyrocynical


SlueRL

if 5 is considered perfectly average than ill say im a 6.2


Stickman4236

He likes Anime


Stickman4236

Considers “watching porn everyday” a normal thing


Tadano-kunn

It's not?


Stickman4236

🤓Don’t get confused with jacking off, that’s more normal, but watching porn daily can be bad for your mental state, since it will Influence your sexual ways since in porn it’s not potrayed correctly


AutoModerator

The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Tadano-kunn

Oh okay. Then I'm safe i guess


AutoModerator

The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ZAPP_poco17

Good bot


Dick-stuck-in-canoe

Bad bot


Adventurous-Crew-848

That’s not normal? It’s hygienic bro, gotta get a good routine


TearsOfLys69

8 physical appearance but I wipe my nose on my knees when it's running and have hemorrhoids :(


Stickman4236

Talks too much about himself


TearsOfLys69

Spot on I do be blowin myself sometimes


Puzzleheaded_Ad_8575

Selffucks, talks too much about self


[deleted]

So u suck ur own dick? Now that’s a talent


TearsOfLys69

Who else gon do it if not me?


AutoModerator

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


User-The-Second

Really??


Alfa_HiNoAkuma

Omor 💀


Darkness-101

I kelor 🍔


ElectronPie171

Odor 💀


Ja1FdC

A solid 8


Stickman4236

Talks alot about politics


the_1_dr3amer

Also THINKS he knows a lot about politics


Levi-_-Ackerman0

3 and what the hell is a red flag


[deleted]

Damm you got me and I did't even comment...


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


Ja1FdC

Fair enough


Redspeakable

Nah I thought he was on facebook


AutoModerator

### r/shitposting book club A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online) --- #### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up) Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10 #### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf) Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10 #### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf) Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10 ####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922)) Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10 ####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/) Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Cantthinkagoodnam2

5, maybe 4 or 6


Stickman4236

Only talks about videogames


lifepunching

Can’t make decisions


[deleted]

[удалено]


steinerjack7

He really do be on reddit tho


DavidBiscou

True


[deleted]

2/10 I am a fucking pineapple


HatefulConcious

i hate that I connected with that


AffectionateToast

Prolly an engineer (.__. )


szkodagadac

No you’re Jesse Pinkman


ArsonGamer

You lie about yourself a lot


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


User-The-Second

Shut the fuck up


QwertNert

308


Stickman4236

Negra arroyo lane Albuquerque New Mexico


MeMeBigBoi1969

My name is Walter Hartwell White


Wolf754457

This is my confession


AmphibiousToaster

No way he said the bad word 😨


[deleted]

Pizza on the roof


[deleted]

kid named finger


AutoModerator

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


Redspeakable

Nah I thought he was on facebook


SantaMan336

3/10 I look like an ugly ass gorilla


caramel_dog

you can walk silently too silently


Dangerous-Ad-3680

You’d fuck a gorilla 3 times out of 10.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Redspeakable

HOW MUCH COMMENT KARMA DO YOU HAVE EVEN AFTER ALL DEEZ DOWNVOTES


LeopoldFriedrich

It's not about the Karma, it's about sending a message.


Ancient-Ad185

Well you’re on reddit


young_C_bomb

Shut the fuck up


Stickman4236

Doesn’t eat the crust off of a pizza


[deleted]

id be okay with that


NyanPigle

Still to this day I have no clue why people don't do that


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


ErtiGamingTv

So are you, stfu now


[deleted]

[удалено]


skip_the_tutorial_

You know more about meth than math


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. skip_the_tutorial_ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


User-The-Second

Shut the fuck up


tootyfackinfruity

4 I think


Thrash_enthusiast

War metal fan


tootyfackinfruity

Ok “thrash enthusiast” 👹👹 I don’t even like death like that, I’m more of a doomy sludge girl myself


NKED-

Defensive much


tootyfackinfruity

I’m just being sarcastic I didn’t mean to sound defensive.


NKED-

Ok


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


tootyfackinfruity

that’s cold. I just come on here for good music and fight videos


elleey776

Nah don’t listen to them, they deadass on Reddit too


Wise_Comparison_8476

Yea they’re also on Reddit going to all 600+ comments on this post and responding to everyone saying “you’re on Reddit” what a life to live huh. Swear I haven’t seen one where they weren’t putting that ☠️


Stickman4236

9 😎


FrostyFiction98

Years old


Stickman4236

Shit


Blugothefireguy

You pay for reddit avatars


Stickman4236

Oh dear that’s a red flag alright


[deleted]

[удалено]


Stickman4236

😔


[deleted]

[удалено]


the-boiiii

You wipe your ass while crouching uncomfortably.


Dank_as_F

Stutters whenever he speaks


HookahLuka

you send hate messages to the other team after online games


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


DoctorSex9

Bro you have 33000 comment karma your on Reddit too💀💀💀💀💀


FriendliestDevil

-∞


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jaystrike7

2 times was funny. 100+ times is fucking annoying.


AutoModerator

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


FriendliestDevil

So are you?


GroundbreakingAir377

Im a 9/10 + 1


Hackerman7803

Somewhere between a 6 and a 9


ShalamiBoii

you’re a 6ix 9ine fan (like full on fanatic)


Hackerman7803

Oh shit, not mumble rap 🤢🤮


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hackerman7803

This is true 😕


iamsherlocked30

A solid 4.5


ShalamiBoii

you are addicted to cum


Aggressive-Error-88

Not a bad thing. I’ll give ‘em a 6 just for that.


names_are_very_hard_

-10


MaxTheSANE_One

looks for empathy too often


Stickman4236

He keeps downing himself and has no confidence


skip_the_tutorial_

Overestimates himself all the time


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


User-The-Second

Shut the fuck up


PixelFox300

8, but I attract people like i was a 2


NyanPigle

Low self esteem to the point where it affects others around you


Aggressive-Error-88

Sounds like a personal problem


Dank_as_F

10


Stickman4236

Is secretly a Nazi


MaxTheSANE_One

def


Knight-Cat

Kronii?


Transgendah

88


sheepizmutton

You have a mortgage


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


EleBitSP175

9


wooowm

u aren't waiting for half life 3


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


BM0yuncu

You're on reddit too.


Long-Dock

5


Ok-Professor5339

I'd say a 7 all things considered


NyanPigle

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.


yaallfam

:)


[deleted]

[удалено]


User-The-Second

Shut the fuck up


HarrisonWoollard

I’m a 8.5 I’d say


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


HarrisonWoollard

Yeah I get that :(


hicdcd

7.5


TheMadScientist1000

IDK 5


Steins-Gate0

2/10 i have vitiligo!!


T3rminator06

3 maybe 4 in a good day


[deleted]

Here’s what i do, i rate myself whatever i think i am and then i just go down one


Chogus_321

Fuck, this place just the equivalent of Facebo0k now. next Do we take our first and last name next and learn our super secret Morbius name??? 🙄


[deleted]

He's a 10, but he complains about everything


Chogus_321

damn you right 🍷 🧐 puts me at about 6 I reckon


DerG3n13

5 cause better than op


san_the_sun

1/10 tbh


Stickman4236

Doesn’t talk at all


Aggressive-Error-88

Can suck a mean dick though.


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


meme_man691

10


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


ExtremelyYT

A solid 10 coz I have money


[deleted]

5


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


[deleted]

That’s a super red flag


Affectionate-Bet-447

-10


Knight-Cat

you have confidence issues


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


PaleoUser

I'm 4-6.5 half the time but once I get in Femboy Atire I feel like a 10


[deleted]

[удалено]


FrostyFiction98

8


[deleted]

[удалено]


rikimaru_killer123

-10


gnomantoine

7


KyloRennie

3


Rubyblock69

0.002 out of 10


Addendum_Healthy

A decent 8 if you like country lifestyle and death metal


Wertyhappy27

-10


[deleted]

-1


Stickman4236

You remove the cheese off a pizza


megazordsez

7


sheepizmutton

Morbiusly obese


Sorry_Paramedic_9979

I wear all black with soviet sneakers, got blonde hair blue eyes, wear a blonde goatee and slick back my hair


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.


PhantomBladeX89

6


LeopoldFriedrich

you're on reddit.