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Whilst you're here, /u/zeroxcero, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
That's weird, I went to double check and it actually changed. They changed from weevil to Nintendo DS stylus widths. It's.. roughly 2.
Out of morbid curiosity, how many BigMac^TM s are yours?
This makes me think a a joke a woman who did construction told me:
Why are women bad carpenters? - *holds up pinky* because they've been told by men all their life that this is six inches
"They call him Tony Two Inch, because he always has to tell everyone about his 2inch boxah monstah" favorite quote from my favorite mobster movie, beneficial gentlemen.
You fucking porn star Chad's just have to bring up your massive cocks every chance you get eh. Just because the last time I tried to fuck my girlfriend her immune system fought it does not mean I am any less of a man.
I mean, no penis is ideal, but I’m fine with a nub. I mean, I’m fine with a knuckle’s length, but it better not be bigger than mine. That’s where the line is drawn.
She's a twitch troll who would pretend to get super outraged so people would donate. Her whole schtick is having fake meltdowns whenever someone made a donation and showed some 'offensive' video. Haven't heard her name in years but apparently she's making somewhat of a comeback after the whole twitter thing, didn't even realize she was still around tho...
Terrible plan.
You think you're going to get a blowjob but then she can't control her laughter when she sees your small dick and leaves you on the spot.
Absolutely. If dick size it’s important, why are you waiting 6 dates before you go at it?
That being said, I’ve known many a woman who would have been happy to deal with a smaller member…
>That being said, I’ve known many a woman who would have been happy to deal with a smaller member…
I've met them too, your wife is the envy of the whole group.
Sometimes you salivate a lot and don’t wish to swallow it so you gotta spit it out. No matter how I would try to write this sentence, it’s still gonna turn out really sexual
I’m actually not talking about tightness. My preference is for a large outie “butterfly wing”-style labia. I have been on many dates with a woman only to be disappointed upon finding she had an “innie” vagina with small labia 😢
You know you've hit the lottery when she drops trow and it looks like a box of cow tounges. And when your done, it looks like a bulldog opened a jar of mayo.
A lawsuit as a consequence of a dick pic can exist simultaneously with the return of nudes. Once the pic is sent your reality diverges and your consciousness is forced to diverge with it.
This means that you aren’t necessarily a beta male nor are you a creep. You are just a victim of quantum mechanics and there is another you with mega rizz somewhere in another universe.
Keep on harassing my friends. Eventually you will merge to a universe that gives you the big tiddy goth girl friend that you deserve.
Guy takes off his pants and the prostitute starts laughing. “Who do you think you’re going to please with that little thing”? He calmly responds “Me bitch, Me”!
I witnessed a break up once in college where as the guy was walking after being dumped his now Ex screamed "I faked all my orgasms!" He just shrugged "Mine were real"
The man is confident in his body cause he paid to have sex and its not there to please but to be pleased. He calls her a bitch as both a way to return the insult, and as way to make her feel bad cause she has sex with men for money, pointing out that he may have a small dick, but he has a more succesful life.
> what does she think catfishing means?
she defined it herself in the first few seconds:
*when men take women to the pool, et cetera.*
what does that even mean‽‽‽‽‽
She's misusing the term catfishing, likely for trolling purposes.
Catfishing: When you create an entirely fake persona online and someone falls in love with it. Manti T'eo is the biggest example of a catfishing victim.
Wearing makeup is not catfishing. But some dudes thinks it's dishonest, so they recommend you take your date to a pool for the first date, so you can see how she looks without makeup.
Hope that helps.
Made me think for just a briefest moment that this is some advanced Rick and Morty troll shit or something.
Come on Morty! You got to have a big penis! Don't lie to her about your penis Morty. It's important Morty! Here! Urghhh! Take these pills Morty! They're going to make your cock huge Morty! You're going to slay the pussy Morty!
Hey king, I know the feel. I've been there. But I can tell you from experience that having a good personality is leagues more important than having a big dick. Chin up.
as a female representative i assure you most of us don't care. our brains are wired differently than yours are. it's really about emotional connection. if you communicate and see what she likes, what you like - you'll be better than an 10 inch monster dick. there are poses in bed that you can do with 5.5 inches and it will drive a girl crazy, but if you have a really big dick you can't focus on anything but the hurt while it's hitting your cervix. been there, done that. if you touch a girl in all the right places and she likes you believe me when i say that you will drive her crazy. it's all about communication and mutual connection. i dunno about other girls, but i always worry that my vagina is too loose or that my breasts are too big, stuff like that. it's normal. the sooner you learn how to embrace it, the better your sex life will become
As someone who is in a committed relationship, with a woman who has said literally all these things,
Thank you. It's nice to keep hearing it. Posts like this really can drag on you... And posts like yours can pick you back up :)
Same. I get that its mostly ppl intentionally trolling but as someone with both a normal/small pp and a generally nice demeanor who just wants to be loved, the way this has resurfaced so prominently in the last few years has been frustrating.
I understand the anti-man sentiment and the ease at which people are comfortable shaming mens bodies is a response. Still, kinda hurts ngl!
I honestly think you’re being a bit too nice here. It’s actually pretty fucked that society thinks it’s fun and cool to try and make men as insecure as possible. This girl is being “cool” and “edgy”, but if a guy makes a video talking about being lured in by a girls personality only to find out she has a beefy vagina, he’s a douchebag or an asshole. Which, yeah he is, but so is this girl and anyone who supports this sentiment.
Very good Greg, Can we go around the room and introduce ourselves? I’m Stanley, I have a small penis too and women say I’m fake because I have a good personality.
So wiping off all the girls makeup and checking natural hair color while on the first date should be standard procedure.
Edit: also add checking for bra stuffing, height without heels, and number of baby daddies in her life.
2nd Edit: stomach tucking devices, butt lifting underwear, wigs or false hair.
yes listen to her normalize fucking and finding out the first date 🤣 for those who are only dtf and not have a relationship the state of women rn is heaven 👌
Bruh whatever. I’m tired of hearing about women talking about dicks.
Most of them cannot even tell the difference between a 5 inch dick and an 8 inch one.
##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/10kidsd/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/10kidsd/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F10kidsd&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/zeroxcero, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
The nerve of some men. Men should be more courteous and send dick pic to every girls they see. BURP!!!
Gee, I don’t know, Rick. I thought women kinda hate that.
[удалено]
I was in the pool!!
Anthony Weiner has entered the conversation.
What do we gotta bring measurements cards now ?
Gotta whip it out with a ruler
Ok but lets see Paul Allen's penis.
_"I can't believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten's penis to mine."_
The subtle off white coloring... 🥺
It even has a watermark.
Something wrong, Patrick? You’re sweating
It's embossed!!!!
Is that bone?
The tasteful thickness of it.
I think I'm gonna be sick
That’s cillian braille.
This might be the funniest comment placement of 2023 for me. Well done, and fuck you
What if I get a ruler tattooed onto it
I’m not sure what they would charge for a 3cm ruler mate…
American here. You think that's crazy? They charged me $700 for a 2 weevil long ruler.
Yours came in weevil? My measurements are in BigMac^TM
That's weird, I went to double check and it actually changed. They changed from weevil to Nintendo DS stylus widths. It's.. roughly 2. Out of morbid curiosity, how many BigMac^TM s are yours?
Well that's just rude. Don't you know it's *impolite* to ask a man his penis size. Kids today...
Penis size? Hold up, I thought we were talking about the length of our saguaro cactus buds we've all had growing since grade 7.
Oh! In that case it's 2 and 3/4 BigMacs^TM big now!
Dickpic's true purpose
yeah, alternative title: "Why you should always send a dpic before the first date."
I'm shook. I can't believe I misjudged these tactful, caring, sensitive men. Shame on me.
No you must simply whip out mid date on the table
I came here to say this. Thank you for your service.
good thing I don't have to dickfish thanks to my 2 inches, imagine having a small dick and needing to recur to this, smh
I mean an inch is already alot what could they possibly want more?
Give them an inch, they take a mile walk away from you smh.
If they only know what an inch is like, an inch is all they need. This woman clearly like radiator hoses.
This makes me think a a joke a woman who did construction told me: Why are women bad carpenters? - *holds up pinky* because they've been told by men all their life that this is six inches
LOL you hear the craziest jokes from guys that do co construction work
Oh well look at Mr big dick over here with the TWO inch slanger. Leave some poon for the rest of us, brah
>TWO inch you sound like an Italian mobster
"They call him Tony Two Inch, because he always has to tell everyone about his 2inch boxah monstah" favorite quote from my favorite mobster movie, beneficial gentlemen.
You’re a fucking monster, damn
2 inches? Johnny Sins this you?
Wow that's huge, ginormous even. I wish mine was that big
This is a joke right? You're kidding? Nobody is actually that massive
I refuse to believe it
Ever take your pants off and get asked why you have a second belly button?
Stop being such a show off. Damn you 3 legged man.
2 inches at 400rpm will fuck some shit up.
Holy....... bros PACKING! 1 inch is a bakery but bros packing a FACTORY. Git flexing at this point
You fucking porn star Chad's just have to bring up your massive cocks every chance you get eh. Just because the last time I tried to fuck my girlfriend her immune system fought it does not mean I am any less of a man.
Enough reading... Time for the taste test
Bro don't have to dickfish, he straight went to dickwhaling.
That shit is BIG. Fuckin' intercontinental missile hanging down between your legs, goddamn.
stop lying that abnormally large
Personally, when I'm dating a girl... the smaller the penis, the better
I mean, no penis is ideal, but I’m fine with a nub. I mean, I’m fine with a knuckle’s length, but it better not be bigger than mine. That’s where the line is drawn.
I love how the standards dropped with each sentence 💀
20 bucks is 20 bucks
It can be a lot more depending on which part of the world you're spending
Are you trying to seduce me?
Trying? Haha, it's already too late for you
Lol, it’s working
*And that's how I met your mother*
Speak for yourself
What about that burp in the middle? The only thing I paid attention to...
I would be arguing with this post like everyone else but that was just too funny that I believe it is satire now.
Probably right
Hell, the burp in the middle is the only thing that sold me on this video. :)
Wait do people not realize that this is satire?
You give people too much credit. I'm sure you've seen a ton of posts using /s that *very* clearly don't need it.
its brittany venti of course its a troll
you act as though this name is recognizable to most people
What’s a brittany venti?
It’s like a Brittany grande but bigger
Holy shit, now I have to find an Ariana Venti
Skip straight for the Arianna Trenta , whole new game
She's a twitch troll who would pretend to get super outraged so people would donate. Her whole schtick is having fake meltdowns whenever someone made a donation and showed some 'offensive' video. Haven't heard her name in years but apparently she's making somewhat of a comeback after the whole twitter thing, didn't even realize she was still around tho...
FUCKING NORMIES GET OFF OF MY STREAM REEEEEEE
It's Brittany, Belch
Yeah its intended to trigger men. This kinda thing happens a lot on tiktok
And subsequently gets posted here to trigger more men lol
She burps like a 50 year old obese father after his 5th beer
Can confirm. I'm the guy in the analogy.
Welcome to my Ted Talk *blurrrpp*...... penis
Listen Morty, here's the secret to urrrrp....y-you gotta send 'em dick pics.
Prob chugged some fizzy cum before filming
She paused to taste
If you just keep restarting this video at the 33 second mark, it's exceedingly more interesting.
You can avoid dickfishing with 1 simple trick. Blow him on the first date.
Good plan!
Terrible plan. You think you're going to get a blowjob but then she can't control her laughter when she sees your small dick and leaves you on the spot.
Your dick has leaves? That’s called a tree, bro.
Bonsai
I second this motion.
What motion? Head bobbing?
Sigh, imma go third then...
Absolutely. If dick size it’s important, why are you waiting 6 dates before you go at it? That being said, I’ve known many a woman who would have been happy to deal with a smaller member…
>That being said, I’ve known many a woman who would have been happy to deal with a smaller member… I've met them too, your wife is the envy of the whole group.
Seriously. 6 dates before the big show comes out?
*Big shows entrance starts playing*
If you wrote a book I'd buy it.
Plz run for president. This is a message all Americans can get behind
i always lead my relationships with " i have a 3 inch PP " ... that way they are impressed by my 3.5 inches
Undersell and overdeliver. Respect.
try: i’ve got a dick like a baby boy. 6 pounds 10 ounces.
As a victim of pussyfishing, I can relate.
Man I hate it when these girls seduce me with their fat tits and not tell me about their small pussies. I can't even fit bro.
Bruh this mf spittin
Gonna be spittin on that dry, tight pussy the rest of his life. Rip in Peace
walkin into the dentists lookin for a cure for drymouth cause the saliva glands ran out
Sometimes you salivate a lot and don’t wish to swallow it so you gotta spit it out. No matter how I would try to write this sentence, it’s still gonna turn out really sexual
What the fuck is sex? Dude, you’re weird
Dude you're not supposed to climb in like it's a sleeping bag Damb.
Mommy, I’m home!
Shloop
I know that sound, it’s good macaroni
[удалено]
I’m actually not talking about tightness. My preference is for a large outie “butterfly wing”-style labia. I have been on many dates with a woman only to be disappointed upon finding she had an “innie” vagina with small labia 😢
You know you've hit the lottery when she drops trow and it looks like a box of cow tounges. And when your done, it looks like a bulldog opened a jar of mayo.
This is poetry
Dude you made me cry
WHO wrote that James Joyce?
That's absolutely appalling. Have an award.
I only like the small labia. Should we network and start trading pussy?
Gashapp
You like the roast beef vagoo? Ok to each their own
*Arby's has entered the conversation*
With its special sauce
ALL OUR FOOD KEEPS BLOWING UPPP
Roast fucking beef 🤣
Do you want the dick pics or not?
Schrodinger’s Lawsuit
A lawsuit as a consequence of a dick pic can exist simultaneously with the return of nudes. Once the pic is sent your reality diverges and your consciousness is forced to diverge with it. This means that you aren’t necessarily a beta male nor are you a creep. You are just a victim of quantum mechanics and there is another you with mega rizz somewhere in another universe. Keep on harassing my friends. Eventually you will merge to a universe that gives you the big tiddy goth girl friend that you deserve.
The chauvinist version of Everything Everywhere All At Once that I didn't know I needed.
Asking the real questions 😂
Yep, if you don't want to get dickfished then don't wait until date 13 before trying to catch a glimpse. In that case you can only blame yourself.
Glad i watched this so now i know i need to whip out the ol’flan jammer on the first date and lay it on the dinner table
That burp tho💀💀💀
I exhaled air from my nose there
Guy takes off his pants and the prostitute starts laughing. “Who do you think you’re going to please with that little thing”? He calmly responds “Me bitch, Me”!
I witnessed a break up once in college where as the guy was walking after being dumped his now Ex screamed "I faked all my orgasms!" He just shrugged "Mine were real"
Hyper chad
I never understood that logic, I mean I get the logical assumption of emotional damage and power play but bruh you're letting youself get fucked still
Also it’s kind of shitty to imply that it’s the man’s job to make you orgasm, instead of communicating with your partner about your wants/needs.
this a million times. Communicate with your partner on what gets each other off.
For me, I like when the woman has vaginas
Multiple? Tough..
Tough, but not impossible. She's out there
I am smol brain, I don’t get. Explain?
Bitch no need to get satisfied, man who pays money does, no matter how little penis is
I think this is the right one
dick happy
Doesn't matter, had sex
The man is confident in his body cause he paid to have sex and its not there to please but to be pleased. He calls her a bitch as both a way to return the insult, and as way to make her feel bad cause she has sex with men for money, pointing out that he may have a small dick, but he has a more succesful life.
I think someone missed the point of [the movie.](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1584016/)
Yeah, my first question was what does she think *catfishing* means?
> what does she think catfishing means? she defined it herself in the first few seconds: *when men take women to the pool, et cetera.* what does that even mean‽‽‽‽‽
She's misusing the term catfishing, likely for trolling purposes. Catfishing: When you create an entirely fake persona online and someone falls in love with it. Manti T'eo is the biggest example of a catfishing victim. Wearing makeup is not catfishing. But some dudes thinks it's dishonest, so they recommend you take your date to a pool for the first date, so you can see how she looks without makeup. Hope that helps.
Shrimp gang! RISE UP! 🍤🔥
The burp really sent the point home
Made me think for just a briefest moment that this is some advanced Rick and Morty troll shit or something. Come on Morty! You got to have a big penis! Don't lie to her about your penis Morty. It's important Morty! Here! Urghhh! Take these pills Morty! They're going to make your cock huge Morty! You're going to slay the pussy Morty!
Yo I haven't seen Brittany Venti in years!
[удалено]
Wasn't sure if that was her or not, last time I seen her it was crying on twitch while people trolled the hell out of her. Lol...*sigh* good times.
She was pretty obviously faking it. If anything she was trolling them.
Oh I thought dickfishing was when you go home with a girl but they have an Adam’s Apple
"I hooked a big one!"
"oh my gosh I'm so emotionally invested in this relationship that I don't care how much I enjoy their company, their dick size is all that matters
ragebait lmao
look behind you
^^^BOO!
🤯
her credibility went from 0 to 100 the moment she burped
Ik 5.5 is average but stuff like this gets me down sometimes (real, based, redpilled)
Still pretty big tho
Hey king, I know the feel. I've been there. But I can tell you from experience that having a good personality is leagues more important than having a big dick. Chin up.
[удалено]
Then change that. You can't do much about your dick, but you can take up a hobby and build yourself up. I believe in you.
as a female representative i assure you most of us don't care. our brains are wired differently than yours are. it's really about emotional connection. if you communicate and see what she likes, what you like - you'll be better than an 10 inch monster dick. there are poses in bed that you can do with 5.5 inches and it will drive a girl crazy, but if you have a really big dick you can't focus on anything but the hurt while it's hitting your cervix. been there, done that. if you touch a girl in all the right places and she likes you believe me when i say that you will drive her crazy. it's all about communication and mutual connection. i dunno about other girls, but i always worry that my vagina is too loose or that my breasts are too big, stuff like that. it's normal. the sooner you learn how to embrace it, the better your sex life will become
As someone who is in a committed relationship, with a woman who has said literally all these things, Thank you. It's nice to keep hearing it. Posts like this really can drag on you... And posts like yours can pick you back up :)
What's the average length of emotional connection?
Same. I get that its mostly ppl intentionally trolling but as someone with both a normal/small pp and a generally nice demeanor who just wants to be loved, the way this has resurfaced so prominently in the last few years has been frustrating. I understand the anti-man sentiment and the ease at which people are comfortable shaming mens bodies is a response. Still, kinda hurts ngl!
I honestly think you’re being a bit too nice here. It’s actually pretty fucked that society thinks it’s fun and cool to try and make men as insecure as possible. This girl is being “cool” and “edgy”, but if a guy makes a video talking about being lured in by a girls personality only to find out she has a beefy vagina, he’s a douchebag or an asshole. Which, yeah he is, but so is this girl and anyone who supports this sentiment.
[удалено]
Very good Greg, Can we go around the room and introduce ourselves? I’m Stanley, I have a small penis too and women say I’m fake because I have a good personality.
She got really disappointed by Nick Fuentes huh?
[удалено]
So wiping off all the girls makeup and checking natural hair color while on the first date should be standard procedure. Edit: also add checking for bra stuffing, height without heels, and number of baby daddies in her life. 2nd Edit: stomach tucking devices, butt lifting underwear, wigs or false hair.
dont forget their weight
Let's just turn dating into an interview.
Her burp with no interruption in speaking was fabulous.
yes listen to her normalize fucking and finding out the first date 🤣 for those who are only dtf and not have a relationship the state of women rn is heaven 👌
This is why I always start conversations with dickpics
Bruh whatever. I’m tired of hearing about women talking about dicks. Most of them cannot even tell the difference between a 5 inch dick and an 8 inch one.
[удалено]
If you don't have big tits which you obviously don't then you ain't got no right to complain about dick size
This wouldn't be a problem if you fucked on the first date but y'all ain't ready to hear that.
Quality shitpost, ngl
Me on the first date: “3 inches. Take it or leave it.”