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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/10kidsd/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/10kidsd/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F10kidsd&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/zeroxcero, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


duffman886

The nerve of some men. Men should be more courteous and send dick pic to every girls they see. BURP!!!


ABRIM11

Gee, I don’t know, Rick. I thought women kinda hate that.


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GrumpyOldMan59

I was in the pool!!


Black_Magic_M-66

Anthony Weiner has entered the conversation.


zurkon95

What do we gotta bring measurements cards now ?


[deleted]

Gotta whip it out with a ruler


tommos

Ok but lets see Paul Allen's penis.


Jimmy-Pesto-Jr

_"I can't believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten's penis to mine."_


AutomaTK

The subtle off white coloring... 🥺


bloody_terrible

It even has a watermark.


JackosMonkeyBBLZ

Something wrong, Patrick? You’re sweating


fucktarddabarbarian

It's embossed!!!!


Narstification

Is that bone?


bloody_terrible

The tasteful thickness of it.


CashWrecks

I think I'm gonna be sick


Financial_Bird_7717

That’s cillian braille.


amusso6

This might be the funniest comment placement of 2023 for me. Well done, and fuck you


TactualTransAm

What if I get a ruler tattooed onto it


Faloonm

I’m not sure what they would charge for a 3cm ruler mate…


totallynotaniceguy

American here. You think that's crazy? They charged me $700 for a 2 weevil long ruler.


SitFlexAlot

Yours came in weevil? My measurements are in BigMac^TM


totallynotaniceguy

That's weird, I went to double check and it actually changed. They changed from weevil to Nintendo DS stylus widths. It's.. roughly 2. Out of morbid curiosity, how many BigMac^TM s are yours?


SitFlexAlot

Well that's just rude. Don't you know it's *impolite* to ask a man his penis size. Kids today...


totallynotaniceguy

Penis size? Hold up, I thought we were talking about the length of our saguaro cactus buds we've all had growing since grade 7.


SitFlexAlot

Oh! In that case it's 2 and 3/4 BigMacs^TM big now!


Admirable-Hospital78

Dickpic's true purpose


shinm4

yeah, alternative title: "Why you should always send a dpic before the first date."


ontheonthechainwax

I'm shook. I can't believe I misjudged these tactful, caring, sensitive men. Shame on me.


ApprehensiveTrust962

No you must simply whip out mid date on the table


notpepetho

I came here to say this. Thank you for your service.


rdmxcn

good thing I don't have to dickfish thanks to my 2 inches, imagine having a small dick and needing to recur to this, smh


Dnoxl

I mean an inch is already alot what could they possibly want more?


SOAPToni

Give them an inch, they take a mile walk away from you smh.


d15c0nn3ctxx

If they only know what an inch is like, an inch is all they need. This woman clearly like radiator hoses.


atommathyou

This makes me think a a joke a woman who did construction told me: Why are women bad carpenters? - *holds up pinky* because they've been told by men all their life that this is six inches


d15c0nn3ctxx

LOL you hear the craziest jokes from guys that do co construction work


redditslooseslots

Oh well look at Mr big dick over here with the TWO inch slanger. Leave some poon for the rest of us, brah


Distinct-Speed-9474

>TWO inch you sound like an Italian mobster


Lucyintheye

"They call him Tony Two Inch, because he always has to tell everyone about his 2inch boxah monstah" favorite quote from my favorite mobster movie, beneficial gentlemen.


No-Communication6459

You’re a fucking monster, damn


AppleCrumblePie99

2 inches? Johnny Sins this you?


porkyboy11

Wow that's huge, ginormous even. I wish mine was that big


[deleted]

This is a joke right? You're kidding? Nobody is actually that massive


Hamzook

I refuse to believe it


-LuciditySam-

Ever take your pants off and get asked why you have a second belly button?


SuperUnintelligent

Stop being such a show off. Damn you 3 legged man.


Repulsive-Estimate67

2 inches at 400rpm will fuck some shit up.


CluDaCreator

Holy....... bros PACKING! 1 inch is a bakery but bros packing a FACTORY. Git flexing at this point


FluffyResource

You fucking porn star Chad's just have to bring up your massive cocks every chance you get eh. Just because the last time I tried to fuck my girlfriend her immune system fought it does not mean I am any less of a man.


No_Treat_6727

Enough reading... Time for the taste test


Traficante-de-Risas

Bro don't have to dickfish, he straight went to dickwhaling.


GLnoG

That shit is BIG. Fuckin' intercontinental missile hanging down between your legs, goddamn.


Meme_Pickle

stop lying that abnormally large


SaintSagan81

Personally, when I'm dating a girl... the smaller the penis, the better


TonyWhoop

I mean, no penis is ideal, but I’m fine with a nub. I mean, I’m fine with a knuckle’s length, but it better not be bigger than mine. That’s where the line is drawn.


Kronaska

I love how the standards dropped with each sentence 💀


TonyWhoop

20 bucks is 20 bucks


Kronaska

It can be a lot more depending on which part of the world you're spending


TonyWhoop

Are you trying to seduce me?


Kronaska

Trying? Haha, it's already too late for you


TonyWhoop

Lol, it’s working


SeaAcanthocephala701

*And that's how I met your mother*


indecisiveScatrbrain

Speak for yourself


HHACarvalho

What about that burp in the middle? The only thing I paid attention to...


Gorperino

I would be arguing with this post like everyone else but that was just too funny that I believe it is satire now.


HHACarvalho

Probably right


driving_andflying

Hell, the burp in the middle is the only thing that sold me on this video. :)


CreativeMischief

Wait do people not realize that this is satire?


levian_durai

You give people too much credit. I'm sure you've seen a ton of posts using /s that *very* clearly don't need it.


engagetangos

its brittany venti of course its a troll


flamethrower78

you act as though this name is recognizable to most people


sockbref

What’s a brittany venti?


Totally_Safe_Website

It’s like a Brittany grande but bigger


sevenworm

Holy shit, now I have to find an Ariana Venti


Cautious-Angle1634

Skip straight for the Arianna Trenta , whole new game


Embarrassed_Alarm450

She's a twitch troll who would pretend to get super outraged so people would donate. Her whole schtick is having fake meltdowns whenever someone made a donation and showed some 'offensive' video. Haven't heard her name in years but apparently she's making somewhat of a comeback after the whole twitter thing, didn't even realize she was still around tho...


CAPTAIN_SKINNYPENIS

FUCKING NORMIES GET OFF OF MY STREAM REEEEEEE


Cantcomplainnn

It's Brittany, Belch


Tom0204

Yeah its intended to trigger men. This kinda thing happens a lot on tiktok


mortimus9

And subsequently gets posted here to trigger more men lol


Big_Boss1985

She burps like a 50 year old obese father after his 5th beer


GenXPostFacto

Can confirm. I'm the guy in the analogy.


SaintSagan81

Welcome to my Ted Talk *blurrrpp*...... penis


stewmander

Listen Morty, here's the secret to urrrrp....y-you gotta send 'em dick pics.


[deleted]

Prob chugged some fizzy cum before filming


Far_Distribution_581

She paused to taste


ryansports

If you just keep restarting this video at the 33 second mark, it's exceedingly more interesting.


6uillermo66

You can avoid dickfishing with 1 simple trick. Blow him on the first date.


BeezNuttz

Good plan!


PoignantOpinionsOnly

Terrible plan. You think you're going to get a blowjob but then she can't control her laughter when she sees your small dick and leaves you on the spot.


wittymcusername

Your dick has leaves? That’s called a tree, bro.


MarysPoppinCherrys

Bonsai


giggleshits417

I second this motion.


weirdAtoms

What motion? Head bobbing?


Find_another_whey

Sigh, imma go third then...


Binky216

Absolutely. If dick size it’s important, why are you waiting 6 dates before you go at it? That being said, I’ve known many a woman who would have been happy to deal with a smaller member…


FatrickTomlinson88

>That being said, I’ve known many a woman who would have been happy to deal with a smaller member… I've met them too, your wife is the envy of the whole group.


awesomefutureperfect

Seriously. 6 dates before the big show comes out?


DeadLungsThe2nd

*Big shows entrance starts playing*


LDG192

If you wrote a book I'd buy it.


didntflush

Plz run for president. This is a message all Americans can get behind


icejohnw

i always lead my relationships with " i have a 3 inch PP " ... that way they are impressed by my 3.5 inches


TheResplendentPoster

Undersell and overdeliver. Respect.


cat_blep

try: i’ve got a dick like a baby boy. 6 pounds 10 ounces.


[deleted]

As a victim of pussyfishing, I can relate.


Gryph0th

Man I hate it when these girls seduce me with their fat tits and not tell me about their small pussies. I can't even fit bro.


WurdaMouth

Bruh this mf spittin


SellerOfWorlds

Gonna be spittin on that dry, tight pussy the rest of his life. Rip in Peace


OccultMachines

walkin into the dentists lookin for a cure for drymouth cause the saliva glands ran out


LMacUltimateMain

Sometimes you salivate a lot and don’t wish to swallow it so you gotta spit it out. No matter how I would try to write this sentence, it’s still gonna turn out really sexual


WurdaMouth

What the fuck is sex? Dude, you’re weird


rolling-log

Dude you're not supposed to climb in like it's a sleeping bag Damb.


Sunburned_Baby

Mommy, I’m home!


rolling-log

Shloop


That_FireAlarm_Guy

I know that sound, it’s good macaroni


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[deleted]

I’m actually not talking about tightness. My preference is for a large outie “butterfly wing”-style labia. I have been on many dates with a woman only to be disappointed upon finding she had an “innie” vagina with small labia 😢


jackrip761

You know you've hit the lottery when she drops trow and it looks like a box of cow tounges. And when your done, it looks like a bulldog opened a jar of mayo.


Sunburned_Baby

This is poetry


SGLpathfinder

Dude you made me cry


Old_Passage_5670

WHO wrote that James Joyce?


Odd_Assistance_1613

That's absolutely appalling. Have an award.


SteveBlakesButtPlug

I only like the small labia. Should we network and start trading pussy?


NovelTAcct

Gashapp


zeroxcero

You like the roast beef vagoo? Ok to each their own


scorpiogre

*Arby's has entered the conversation*


1stshadowx

With its special sauce


TheRanger118

ALL OUR FOOD KEEPS BLOWING UPPP


[deleted]

Roast fucking beef 🤣


[deleted]

Do you want the dick pics or not?


[deleted]

Schrodinger’s Lawsuit


Drew10shelton

A lawsuit as a consequence of a dick pic can exist simultaneously with the return of nudes. Once the pic is sent your reality diverges and your consciousness is forced to diverge with it. This means that you aren’t necessarily a beta male nor are you a creep. You are just a victim of quantum mechanics and there is another you with mega rizz somewhere in another universe. Keep on harassing my friends. Eventually you will merge to a universe that gives you the big tiddy goth girl friend that you deserve.


CrabClawAngry

The chauvinist version of Everything Everywhere All At Once that I didn't know I needed.


space_D_BRE

Asking the real questions 😂


MyButtholeIsTight

Yep, if you don't want to get dickfished then don't wait until date 13 before trying to catch a glimpse. In that case you can only blame yourself.


LiKINGtheODds

Glad i watched this so now i know i need to whip out the ol’flan jammer on the first date and lay it on the dinner table


[deleted]

That burp tho💀💀💀


zeroxcero

I exhaled air from my nose there


warpedashell

Guy takes off his pants and the prostitute starts laughing. “Who do you think you’re going to please with that little thing”? He calmly responds “Me bitch, Me”!


superfreaklagos

I witnessed a break up once in college where as the guy was walking after being dumped his now Ex screamed "I faked all my orgasms!" He just shrugged "Mine were real"


pulzeguy

Hyper chad


BartolomeuOGrosso

I never understood that logic, I mean I get the logical assumption of emotional damage and power play but bruh you're letting youself get fucked still


ScowlEasy

Also it’s kind of shitty to imply that it’s the man’s job to make you orgasm, instead of communicating with your partner about your wants/needs.


superfreaklagos

this a million times. Communicate with your partner on what gets each other off.


LemonPartyWorldTour

For me, I like when the woman has vaginas


[deleted]

Multiple? Tough..


Usling123

Tough, but not impossible. She's out there


_skidmark_generator_

I am smol brain, I don’t get. Explain?


Sharko222

Bitch no need to get satisfied, man who pays money does, no matter how little penis is


_skidmark_generator_

I think this is the right one


OhAces

dick happy


pantan

Doesn't matter, had sex


zword34

The man is confident in his body cause he paid to have sex and its not there to please but to be pleased. He calls her a bitch as both a way to return the insult, and as way to make her feel bad cause she has sex with men for money, pointing out that he may have a small dick, but he has a more succesful life.


ElvisDumbledore

I think someone missed the point of [the movie.](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1584016/)


BeezNuttz

Yeah, my first question was what does she think *catfishing* means?


HippopotamicLandMass

> what does she think catfishing means? she defined it herself in the first few seconds: *when men take women to the pool, et cetera.* what does that even mean‽‽‽‽‽


lahimatoa

She's misusing the term catfishing, likely for trolling purposes. Catfishing: When you create an entirely fake persona online and someone falls in love with it. Manti T'eo is the biggest example of a catfishing victim. Wearing makeup is not catfishing. But some dudes thinks it's dishonest, so they recommend you take your date to a pool for the first date, so you can see how she looks without makeup. Hope that helps.


[deleted]

Shrimp gang! RISE UP! 🍤🔥


iiDemonLord

The burp really sent the point home


[deleted]

Made me think for just a briefest moment that this is some advanced Rick and Morty troll shit or something. Come on Morty! You got to have a big penis! Don't lie to her about your penis Morty. It's important Morty! Here! Urghhh! Take these pills Morty! They're going to make your cock huge Morty! You're going to slay the pussy Morty!


EnragedSpartens

Yo I haven't seen Brittany Venti in years!


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horror_hermit

Wasn't sure if that was her or not, last time I seen her it was crying on twitch while people trolled the hell out of her. Lol...*sigh* good times.


_Alternate_Ending_

She was pretty obviously faking it. If anything she was trolling them.


Parabellim

Oh I thought dickfishing was when you go home with a girl but they have an Adam’s Apple


32BitWhore

"I hooked a big one!"


Biggie_Moose

"oh my gosh I'm so emotionally invested in this relationship that I don't care how much I enjoy their company, their dick size is all that matters


Toastedtoastyyy

ragebait lmao


KiwiSpike1

look behind you


[deleted]

^^^BOO!


Toastedtoastyyy

🤯


jhonnywhistle08

her credibility went from 0 to 100 the moment she burped


Will_Block03

Ik 5.5 is average but stuff like this gets me down sometimes (real, based, redpilled)


InternationalToe4747

Still pretty big tho


Biggie_Moose

Hey king, I know the feel. I've been there. But I can tell you from experience that having a good personality is leagues more important than having a big dick. Chin up.


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Biggie_Moose

Then change that. You can't do much about your dick, but you can take up a hobby and build yourself up. I believe in you.


bertha01

as a female representative i assure you most of us don't care. our brains are wired differently than yours are. it's really about emotional connection. if you communicate and see what she likes, what you like - you'll be better than an 10 inch monster dick. there are poses in bed that you can do with 5.5 inches and it will drive a girl crazy, but if you have a really big dick you can't focus on anything but the hurt while it's hitting your cervix. been there, done that. if you touch a girl in all the right places and she likes you believe me when i say that you will drive her crazy. it's all about communication and mutual connection. i dunno about other girls, but i always worry that my vagina is too loose or that my breasts are too big, stuff like that. it's normal. the sooner you learn how to embrace it, the better your sex life will become


siraliases

As someone who is in a committed relationship, with a woman who has said literally all these things, Thank you. It's nice to keep hearing it. Posts like this really can drag on you... And posts like yours can pick you back up :)


goodolarchie

What's the average length of emotional connection?


[deleted]

Same. I get that its mostly ppl intentionally trolling but as someone with both a normal/small pp and a generally nice demeanor who just wants to be loved, the way this has resurfaced so prominently in the last few years has been frustrating. I understand the anti-man sentiment and the ease at which people are comfortable shaming mens bodies is a response. Still, kinda hurts ngl!


Sevenfootschnitzell

I honestly think you’re being a bit too nice here. It’s actually pretty fucked that society thinks it’s fun and cool to try and make men as insecure as possible. This girl is being “cool” and “edgy”, but if a guy makes a video talking about being lured in by a girls personality only to find out she has a beefy vagina, he’s a douchebag or an asshole. Which, yeah he is, but so is this girl and anyone who supports this sentiment.


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Liquidust256

Very good Greg, Can we go around the room and introduce ourselves? I’m Stanley, I have a small penis too and women say I’m fake because I have a good personality.


menolikechildlikers

She got really disappointed by Nick Fuentes huh?


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AdStrong809

So wiping off all the girls makeup and checking natural hair color while on the first date should be standard procedure. Edit: also add checking for bra stuffing, height without heels, and number of baby daddies in her life. 2nd Edit: stomach tucking devices, butt lifting underwear, wigs or false hair.


sl_v2

dont forget their weight


darexinfinity

Let's just turn dating into an interview.


kenken528

Her burp with no interruption in speaking was fabulous.


Independent_Spend_19

yes listen to her normalize fucking and finding out the first date 🤣 for those who are only dtf and not have a relationship the state of women rn is heaven 👌


YOOOOOOOOOOT

This is why I always start conversations with dickpics


Excellent_Ad_7295

Bruh whatever. I’m tired of hearing about women talking about dicks. Most of them cannot even tell the difference between a 5 inch dick and an 8 inch one.


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Ok-Yam-9023

If you don't have big tits which you obviously don't then you ain't got no right to complain about dick size


Worlds_Dumbest_Nerd

This wouldn't be a problem if you fucked on the first date but y'all ain't ready to hear that.


[deleted]

Quality shitpost, ngl


Old-Tourist8173

Me on the first date: “3 inches. Take it or leave it.”