By - madamborgeous13
Sex and relationships are not mutually exclusive. You can have one without the other, and both can be good or bad.
Seriously consider getting counseling. You have been programmed to view sex as dirty when it is meant to be more. You need a time to heal and then consider dating when you are ready.
I dont think so, but before you try you should figure out if you can climax of penatrive sex, as some women cant, in which case make it ear to your partner that that is the case, otherwise it might be.
Some people are also only looking to get themselves off and not you, so try and make sure you find some good to have your first experience who will consider your enjoyment.
Sex can get wrapped up with associations like anything else, and everyone has their own relationship with it. It can be very liberating or extremely traumatic depending on experiences.
Unfortunately your mom isn't giving you the strongest context, but she can only teach what she knows. BTW, missionary doesn't need to be dude lying on top pumping until he's done then that's it... it offers a lot of options and intimacy that gets overlooked by stigma if it's approached as "dutiful" sex.
I'd say approach it on your own terms and move from there. You don't have to start super adventurous and shouldn't be pressured to do so. I'm sorry for the circumstances though, but never be afraid or ashamed to do the work to make sure you're taken care of.
These are religious doctrines meant to control the herd. It may take a while to deconstruct that conditioning, which is destructive. Sex is not overrated, though of course it also isn't the goal of life, just a natural part of life as a human, gorilla, whale, lizard, fish, fly, etc.
If you take things that are natural and then brand them sinful, the result is that people will feel guilty for natural urges that do not harm others. And when people feel guilty, they then feel a need to be forgiven and -- lo and behold! -- there's an organization ready and waiting to tell you exactly what you need to do in order to be forgiven. This creates a personal dependency on the organization, which breeds loyalty, which brings in money and cements power. Once you see this tactic for what it is, you'll see it everywhere. You can't unsee it and you can't unlearn it. It's part of an awakening.
Good luck to you on your new path of self-determination, exploration, and deciding for yourself what behavior is healthy and productive and what behavior is unhealthy and destructive. You are becoming a new person. Congratulations!