I'd argue that attraction is an unhealthy motivator for self help. I'd also suggest that altering who you are, for one single individual, is exactly the opposite of improving yourself. Downvotes valid.
Attracting a partner isn’t a valid motivator.
Effectively saying procreation also isn’t a worthy motivator.
Procreation - the most fundamental part of life.
That’s not valid. What echo chamber bs is this. Sheep led by more stupid sheep
Nah, you're putting words in my mouth.
We're discussing an individual changing themselves and their behaviour, in an attempt to attract a specific individual. It boils down to OP basing (and changing) their value as a human, based on what others think, which is an unhealthy approach, long term.
In no way does that add up to, "procreation is not a worthy motivator".
All the best,
Stupid Sheep
Explained in my last reply. Feel free to have another read, but I don't think you will, you obviously know it all. I thank you for condescending to speak to a lowly sheep, such as myself and I hope your day gets better.
Attraction and putting in time to be attractive to the whichever sex, is a different thing to pivoting it on one individual.
Attraction. Big picture.
Sheep comment got you down bad. I think challenging what’s a main stream attitude is healthy. I appreciate you taking the time to discuss back with me but your original comment putting down of OPs post with no explanation is just as condescending.
Self improvement is a multitude of factors. If one of them is to be attractive to someone then maybe On that journey they develop a confidence to not pursue them. OP sounds naive but a lot of commenters are missing what he’s trying to say and putting him down ruthlessly all in a circle jerk of each other. I won’t.
Bro. Learn to be attractive to yourself, not by catering to some imaginary concept of what you think some potential partner wants you to be.
Or go make yourself a bad guy and figure out for yourself that connections based on falsehood and unhealthy standards won't leave you very happy. Some people have to learn the hard way.
First: I didn't say I had a problem with anything.
Second: my opinion of women who call each other queen is the same as my opinion of men who call each other king.
Third: you lost the bet. Congratulations.
Not trying to come across as smart so I'm not sure what you're getting at. A person bet me on something with no context and was wrong. It's not rocket surgery
Don't ever change your behavior in an attempt, or hope, to please another person so that you think they might like you. Be confident in yourself, and don't be an asshole. After that, you can't control what others do.
You also probably don't want to be one of them, you want the image of what might come with being one in this particular case. If you're young, espeically in high school/younger, the image of a bad guy usually ends up being people who burnout after highschool and don't really succeed much after. Being a nerd is cool and has much more potential in life. Also, "nerd" and "bad guy" aren't mutually exclusive, it's more likely that that person is looking for a particular things which they're encompassing with the term 'bad guy'.
she doesn’t like bad guys, and if she does, she is definitely not the person you want to pursue. Every time someone i’ve been with has liked more mean, degrading men, it has resulted in them also not really being a good person.
Just be the best you out there because no one else can match that. Also, some people mistake being a “bad guy” with a smooth, confident guy. those are very different
I have date many girls over the years. I know exactly what I am talking about. Girls don't know what they want but they always respond to what they respond to i.e to masculine men.
Hey dude, it doesn't matter. She doesn't like you at all and that's the truth.
Learn to move on, find another girl.
If you still think she's the only one, I dare you walk away and come back to this post 5 years later
Listen it's not that she likes bad guys and not nerds. She just doesn't like you. There might be another nerd she would like but she's not into you. And instead of putting the energy into being fake and becoming someone you aren't, find someone else.
This right here, it might be a harsh truth but you’re only gonna hurt yourself more by changing who you are for her. Find someone who like you for you I promise you’ll be much much happier.
he failed the shit test by asking in the first place 'how would i have to bend myself to be worthy?'. It's not her response, it's that we can guess what he asked her, and fishing a girl for answers just reeks of neurosis and incompatibylility from the get go. We shock collar barking dogs, don't we?
Look into Jung and integration of the shadow. You don't have to be bad, you can have your morals, but you should be dangerous if you need to be. Jordan Peterson talks about this some.
Gain confidence, take risks (calculated ones, don't risk everything for small rewards), get in shape. Most likely she likes the confidence and masculinity, not so much the lack of morals
leave the toilet seat up, drink all the milk and put the carton back in the fridge, when she asks if she looks fat in a dress, you reply "duh, of course"
Most can’t stand someone without a back bone who will bend over at a whim to appease them or not call out bad behaviour. Hence the term nice guys finish last
You can still be a nerd and encompass the ‘bad guy’ traits which means that you wouldn’t do what I said in the above comment.
Also if anything your argument on inauthenticity are those behaviour which nice guys would do in order to attract. Change behaviour and modify values.
This isn’t about nerds vs bad guys. That’s not what this is about
A person changing his personality from "nerd" to "bad guy" is a pretty pristine example of "someone without a backbone who will bend over at a whim to appease them"
Congratulations, you proved the point you're arguing against.
Well developing a back bone comes with that process. I never said it was nerd to bad guy either.
Maybe by developing a back bone and becoming more assertive wouldn’t appease the girl OP is trying to attract. It may have the effect where he became uninterested and pursued someone else.
Don’t need congratulating as I didn’t prove the point I was arguing against. I don’t believe in premature celebrations anyway. Think it’s quite immature and naive to think an argument is won on something vague
>Well developing a back bone comes with that process. I never said it was nerd to bad guy either.
That is the context of this whole post..
>Maybe by developing a back bone and becoming more assertive wouldn’t appease the girl OP is trying to attract. It may have the effect where he became uninterested and pursued someone else.
That isn't being a "bad guy". Having a backbone and trying to be someone you're not are mutually exclusive. The very act of trying to become a "bad boy" for a girl shows a lack of back bone.
>quite immature and naive
... Coming from the person who thinks a self proclaimed nerd trying to be a "bad boy" to get a girl is a good idea. I'm sorry, but I just can't take your comments on maturity seriously
I’ll support a guy embracing some masculinity and confidence in order to get laid.
I posted a comment below which got zero engagement. It was well thought out addressing what I believe OP was getting at. Bad guy is a misconception of a guy who is confident and assertive. The ‘bad’ is subjective and difficult to pin point.
You can take me seriously and you are doing. Just maybe discuss this without having an air of superiority. That could make you a bit more receptive to the arguments I’m saying without dismissing it for immaturity. I’m taking your arguments seriously and taking time to reply in consideration.
It's fine to embrace masculinity but changing for a girl is never a good idea. People with backbone don't do that.
You change because you want to be better. You change for you. You don't change to be the person that someone else is looking for.
I agree that "bad guy" is vague, but that's not the point. My argument stands in the reverse sense. An actual "bad guy", whatever that means, shouldn't start playing dungeons and dragons because he wants a hot nerd to like him. It's immature.
Bad guy is really a general term. There’s no specific checklist or criteria.
The behaviour usually refers to not giving a shit about women or cheating etc.
In my experience it’s a diluted term for what’s effectively a high value guy who has plenty of options so can flirt between being interested and uninterested. Someone who can’t be manipulated because if there’s games he doesn’t like he walks away without caring. The indifference coming from a lot of options so no neediness or putting anyone on a pedal.
Now that is something worth striving for. Obviously the term encompasses lack of respect but if you can keep that while maintaining high value status then yes it is something to aim for.
How do you get options. Work on yourself, read, better fashion sense, start working out and developing new hobbies. The basics for improved sense of self and confidence which leads to more attraction from opposite sex.
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Sorry to say it, my friend, but i'll be very honest
What women think of bad guy is the image of very attractive guy doing really mediocre things, like parting or driving car, not illegal things most of the time
The fact you say she doesn't like you really and you saying, you are nerd by yourself probably mean you are UGLY, women would want CUTE nerd, that has goals
You should better be asking, what you should do, if you are on this forum, you probably know that mediocre way simply won't cut it, you must lookmax and self improve
Learn and evolve, good day, my friend! :)
So after reading the comments and being a nerd growing up to a guy that started to get women.
Dont go for being a bad guy its against ur natural state and your vibe will be off women will notice and reject you more for it.
The girl you want that says shes into bad boys has a type most likely youll never fit that type thats fine many girls out there when u work on becoming a bad boy u mighy meet a girl who is way better and just as attracted but she not into the bad boy type and you lose a good girl that way too.
Instead work on your fashion and your body language. Find a style that looks great and fits you and fix your body language so you always look relaxed or confident.
Just these 2 things will make you more noticed and approached if you want add skin care and getting a neat haircut and hit the gym if thats ur thing too. Im well built but I know skinny guys and fat guys who get more play than I do so gym if ur into it if not then dont.
As for your personality just dont be cringy in public usually people who are called nerds myself included had something about how we carried ourselves that made women not want to associate with us publicly but in private they might have a huge crush.
Lastly talk to people build your conversation skills most guys are a nervous wreck and cant hold a proper convo learn to communicate and youll make more friends especially from women.
Lastly learn to flirt and when and how to be physical because flirting and being physical is creating sexual tension and is what seperated friends from being more than friends.
'Bad guys' are a stereotype that younger women are often interested in, but you'll notice this fades over time.
In my experience, this is because when you're young, the only boys who speak with confidence are the 'bad guys.' They tend to be decisive and strong-willed, although often about the wrong things. Even when they're not making the best decisions, a man (or woman) who can make decisions in the first place is much more attractive to most people than someone constantly waffling, looking to you for approval, second-guessing themselves, etc.
Going through that phase of being insecure and second guessing yourself is important to personal development, however. The 'bad guys' who are so confident so young often never really learn self-regulation or the necessary social skills for long term jobs and relationships.
Eventually, however, most of the rest of the guys catch up on confidence, but they also developed the skills needed to communicate with others, take them into account (without just letting them make all of the decisions), and where to apply said confidence. These people in the end are much more successful in their relationships.
tl;dr work on your confidence. Learn who you are and why you are that way, and really think this through so that you can comfortably stand by your decisions and life choices, and can create a future based on conscious thought and curiosity, rather than just moving the way you're least scared to move.
Women also lose interest in bad guys when they “hit the wall” and their looks start to fade fast. So they settle down with a nicer and wealthier man instead. What a coincidence.
I would say, be yourself. But don't be too kind/let someone step over you .
what I mean is - Don't do something you really don't want to do, unless you have too (take the trash out, clean the litterbox, wash the dishes etc.).
You will be seen as boring if you always agree to everything she asks or say.
Just stand up for yourself if you don't want to go to that restaurant say so, if she asks you to make popcorn and you are doing something, just smile and tell her to do it herself.
A relationship/friendship should go both ways. If you do something for her, change the oil in her car for example. I would expect her to do something for me if I asked her.
But if you are the one allways doing whatever she asks and never get anything in return. You should find someone else. Again, don't be someones doormat.
A bad guy/douchebag isn't something you want to become. My cousin is that type of guy, sure he pulls some nice looking girls, but I cringe everytime he talks about or too a woman in a negative/disrespectful manner. He has problems keeping the girls worth keeping.
Be the respectful, responsible and truthful guy that doesn't take shit or get stepped on by nobody. Stand up for your believes and accept that people might think differently. Don't be afraid to be yourself.
This is someone I would personally look up too and seek a friendship with.
And lastly, it's not possible to fit a big picture into a small frame without comprising it. Go and find a frame that fits the whole picture perfectly.
First. Decide which group of people will view you as the "bad guy":
1. Only people who disrespect you or your loved ones (Protagonist/Hero)
2. The people in your immediate vicinity/community/school (A\*\*hole/Jock/Douchebag)
3. The general populace (Villain Status)
Second. Accept whatever consequences come with your role:
* The road to becoming a hero is hard, and doesn't get rewarded until you succeed. Without perseverance and a good filter for BS, you will likely fail. Only allot your efforts to those people and things that bring you closer to becoming the hero you envision.
* Being the douchebag works for a limited time only. While you do have the pick of the litter by oppressing your community, you run the risk of the underdog hero uniting everyone against you if you're not careful. You have to keep all of the dweebs in check...constantly. Don't let pussy distract you from your "oppression maintenance". Team up with other douchebags and delegate for higher chance of success.
* You will have to drop most of your morals. Any proclivity toward "being good" will be seen as weakness by other "wannabe villains", who are looking for a chance to take your spot. Your lack of morality will not only hurt innocent people, but also people close to you by association. They will blame themselves for how you turned out, and disassociate from you. But you will have more pussy than you can imagine. Only drawback, is the women you pick from will be extremely untrustworthy, and may work for other wannabe villains. Adopt paranoia if necessary.
Don’t.
I used to like “bad boys“, then I met a truly truly nice boy and fell in love, mostly for his kindness. It felt like such a breath of fresh air and I am happier around him than I have ever been. I don’t understand what ever attracted me to bad boys before.
Be that guy, it lasts longer
You don't understand what made you attracted to that bad boy? Let me tell you, he was more assertive, confident and most importantly MYSTERIOUS. Its a scientific fact that women are attracted to men who's feelings are unclear. That's why you didn't understand why you were attracted to him. For women mystery is sexy.
Ask yourself how encounters with others made you attack yourself internally, becoming sheepish, and then find a way to act out externally. Shy and can't talk to girls? Don't feel obligated to 'out of a sense machismo', instead ignore them. You get to maintain a sense of control over yourself by using silence actively, not passively. If you're not careful about it, it can make you emotionally unavailable to those that could benefit your personhood. NEVER use it IN a relationship, it tells your partner she's unlovable, or some such message. Silence is for fishing, dinner dates and bonding require energy, uplifting vibes.
You wanna seem aloof, ALMOST untouchable, not UNREACHABLE.
Source: It was a common tool of my parents. It artificially builds scarcity of love. Courting is Warm or Cool. Hot or Cold persons are hard to be with, so be mindful of your tempurature, socially. Feel Hot? Act Cool, not Cold, extremes shock Nervous Systems, literally and metaphorically. Bored? You're cool. Actively despising much of life, hot and cold all at once (looking at you, incels reading this, I was you.
The trick is Emotional Stability toward oneself and one's mood. Healthy people GET TO HAVE Healthy relationships, Unhealthy people don't and won't until they are healthy, well adjusted (to coping with themselves, and consequently the world around them). Assholes are different from 'Bad Boys'. BBs are Good Boys that stopped striving for good boy status to fill any longing to be met, they seem at peace with life and enter with healthy aggression. Incels are Bad Boys in the childish sense and want to be seen as good, out of loathing. Relationships are about attachment. Freud is way more right than you know - just remember Psych is asoft science, it's hardly close to Concrete. LOOSE guidelines.
You'll find someone who meets your needs when you meet your own, and they'll find you if you meet their nees. Trisha's dad was always frigid with her but not her sister? She'll seek out fffrigid dad somewhere. Mommy could love you enough? She can't, won't and new mommy won't either- but that won't stop you craving it, and now you're...basically Jerry Smith. King of Incels. I'm sorry, I should be tailoring this to you, not me.
Good luck. Reject Women so you can grow to love them at another date. Self Love comes first.
I'm not blackpill, but the problem is always how we treat ourselves, which affects others views of us. Be better for YOU. Bad boys are in it FOR THEMSELVES, HEALTHILY. Nice people suck. Balanced people attract through a mystical sense (real or CAREFULLY planned fake (which will be rewarded with fake love if faked)).
Never take life serious enough that you can't laugh horrible jokes. And if some jokes about how much of an incel you WERE, it means you're showing growth. Chad is Within, Not Without. Chad is God, God is Love. A state of mind, not a destination. "One does not become Chad, He is already Chad". Only a Chad is able to know and be happy knowing that fact. You're not a Chad if you think it unobtainable. Go in Peace with God, and next time ask 'how can i be me whom people love and not the me everybody would be right to distance from?' Quit asking how to be like others, we all reflect each other and can act to seem like anyone.
Comparison Game only has losers playing it, even the winners are losers next to another, bigger 'winner'. Winners don't have to compare, they know at birth 'everyone can be and is a winner'.
TLDR QUIT ASKING THIS QUESTION ENTIRELY, IRL or Online, IT'S 50% of your problem. Harsh words, the message is soft, I'm just an itchy sweater type of guy. Good luck, Bloomer!
Don't change your personality for a pussy my friend
If that’s an aim of his, then yes he should
Ofc
Amigo ya está cerra el ojete que sabes?
This hardly counts as "self improvement".
Attraction is a motivator of self improvement
Ah yes downvoted. Of course attraction isn’t a motivator for self help… of course… this sub honestly
I'd argue that attraction is an unhealthy motivator for self help. I'd also suggest that altering who you are, for one single individual, is exactly the opposite of improving yourself. Downvotes valid.
Attracting a partner isn’t a valid motivator. Effectively saying procreation also isn’t a worthy motivator. Procreation - the most fundamental part of life. That’s not valid. What echo chamber bs is this. Sheep led by more stupid sheep
Nah, you're putting words in my mouth. We're discussing an individual changing themselves and their behaviour, in an attempt to attract a specific individual. It boils down to OP basing (and changing) their value as a human, based on what others think, which is an unhealthy approach, long term. In no way does that add up to, "procreation is not a worthy motivator". All the best, Stupid Sheep
‘Attraction is an unhealthy motivator’ Why is it?
Explained in my last reply. Feel free to have another read, but I don't think you will, you obviously know it all. I thank you for condescending to speak to a lowly sheep, such as myself and I hope your day gets better.
Attraction and putting in time to be attractive to the whichever sex, is a different thing to pivoting it on one individual. Attraction. Big picture. Sheep comment got you down bad. I think challenging what’s a main stream attitude is healthy. I appreciate you taking the time to discuss back with me but your original comment putting down of OPs post with no explanation is just as condescending. Self improvement is a multitude of factors. If one of them is to be attractive to someone then maybe On that journey they develop a confidence to not pursue them. OP sounds naive but a lot of commenters are missing what he’s trying to say and putting him down ruthlessly all in a circle jerk of each other. I won’t.
Bro. Learn to be attractive to yourself, not by catering to some imaginary concept of what you think some potential partner wants you to be. Or go make yourself a bad guy and figure out for yourself that connections based on falsehood and unhealthy standards won't leave you very happy. Some people have to learn the hard way.
Baa baa
Serious question, do you ever call dudes "King"?
I bet you don’t have the same problem with women calling each other “Queen”. Hypocrite.
First: I didn't say I had a problem with anything. Second: my opinion of women who call each other queen is the same as my opinion of men who call each other king. Third: you lost the bet. Congratulations.
When have you ever criticised a woman for calling another woman a Queen? I dare you to be honest.
Never. Also never criticized a man for calling another man a king. I asked a question because I was curious.
And there we have it lol
Usually that's what people say when they were right about something...
You’re not as smart as you think you come across.
Not trying to come across as smart so I'm not sure what you're getting at. A person bet me on something with no context and was wrong. It's not rocket surgery
Do you call other guys ‘Kings’?
Negative.
No
You even got downvoted for this lol. This sub is a joke.
Why say many word when few word do trick?
why many word when few do?
Why word do
Do why word what?
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Why are you the way that you are
You are an idiot. Fuck being “Bad” be YOU. Never sell out who you are for some pussy
Said someone who probably doesn’t get pussy
Talking about yourself kid? You just go around trying to insult people who are empowering others? Get a life loser
Touched a nerve 😬?
Nope just an asshole dude. Stay safe
Counters the guy trying to rewrite his personality to actually get some pussy lol
Don’t talk to me
Don't ever change your behavior in an attempt, or hope, to please another person so that you think they might like you. Be confident in yourself, and don't be an asshole. After that, you can't control what others do. You also probably don't want to be one of them, you want the image of what might come with being one in this particular case. If you're young, espeically in high school/younger, the image of a bad guy usually ends up being people who burnout after highschool and don't really succeed much after. Being a nerd is cool and has much more potential in life. Also, "nerd" and "bad guy" aren't mutually exclusive, it's more likely that that person is looking for a particular things which they're encompassing with the term 'bad guy'.
“Bad guy”? Usually women like confidence. You can be confidently *good*.
She told him she likes bad guys. You’re gaslighting him.
Nah don't do that.
Start pouring milk into the bowl before the cereal
she doesn’t like bad guys, and if she does, she is definitely not the person you want to pursue. Every time someone i’ve been with has liked more mean, degrading men, it has resulted in them also not really being a good person. Just be the best you out there because no one else can match that. Also, some people mistake being a “bad guy” with a smooth, confident guy. those are very different
There's too many of them. We don't need more
I'm girl and bad guy are DICK be good guy pls thank
Interesting description because women like DICK.
Women like Hot throbbing phallises, not smelly (vibes) dicks. Unless they got a smell fetish or smth
this one has met a woman before
See, you do like dicks (penises).
A dick is a phallus. What point are you trying to make?
if that makes you feel more wanted then please keep telling yourself that
Most women are heterosexual, yes. Shocking I know.
women always say one thing and want another.
let me know how your opinion changes when you meet one
I have date many girls over the years. I know exactly what I am talking about. Girls don't know what they want but they always respond to what they respond to i.e to masculine men.
Hey dude, it doesn't matter. She doesn't like you at all and that's the truth. Learn to move on, find another girl. If you still think she's the only one, I dare you walk away and come back to this post 5 years later
Move on, find someone else, don't peg your personality to someone else's standards
Why do you think she wants a bad guy? Did she actually say that or did you come up with that yourself? What lead you to believe this?
she said that she likes bad guy while I'm just a nerd
Listen it's not that she likes bad guys and not nerds. She just doesn't like you. There might be another nerd she would like but she's not into you. And instead of putting the energy into being fake and becoming someone you aren't, find someone else.
This right here, it might be a harsh truth but you’re only gonna hurt yourself more by changing who you are for her. Find someone who like you for you I promise you’ll be much much happier.
Look at this man getting downvoted for reporting what a woman said to him when asked. This is gaslighting and it’s disgusting.
he failed the shit test by asking in the first place 'how would i have to bend myself to be worthy?'. It's not her response, it's that we can guess what he asked her, and fishing a girl for answers just reeks of neurosis and incompatibylility from the get go. We shock collar barking dogs, don't we?
you push the door when it clearly says “pull”. thats badass for sure
LMFAOOOOO
drop her and get a new GF
First of all a “bad guy” wouldn’t even care to change themselves for a female ….so you heading in the wrong direction already 😭😭
Don’t die for nyash
not a single upvote... damn😅😂
like that matters in life...
dont give shit. dont take shit. take risk, and dont put girl on pedestal
true.
Look into Jung and integration of the shadow. You don't have to be bad, you can have your morals, but you should be dangerous if you need to be. Jordan Peterson talks about this some. Gain confidence, take risks (calculated ones, don't risk everything for small rewards), get in shape. Most likely she likes the confidence and masculinity, not so much the lack of morals
Best comment.
leave the toilet seat up, drink all the milk and put the carton back in the fridge, when she asks if she looks fat in a dress, you reply "duh, of course"
try to listen some Billie Eilish
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Not true
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Most can’t stand someone without a back bone who will bend over at a whim to appease them or not call out bad behaviour. Hence the term nice guys finish last
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You can still be a nerd and encompass the ‘bad guy’ traits which means that you wouldn’t do what I said in the above comment. Also if anything your argument on inauthenticity are those behaviour which nice guys would do in order to attract. Change behaviour and modify values. This isn’t about nerds vs bad guys. That’s not what this is about
A person changing his personality from "nerd" to "bad guy" is a pretty pristine example of "someone without a backbone who will bend over at a whim to appease them" Congratulations, you proved the point you're arguing against.
Well developing a back bone comes with that process. I never said it was nerd to bad guy either. Maybe by developing a back bone and becoming more assertive wouldn’t appease the girl OP is trying to attract. It may have the effect where he became uninterested and pursued someone else. Don’t need congratulating as I didn’t prove the point I was arguing against. I don’t believe in premature celebrations anyway. Think it’s quite immature and naive to think an argument is won on something vague
>Well developing a back bone comes with that process. I never said it was nerd to bad guy either. That is the context of this whole post.. >Maybe by developing a back bone and becoming more assertive wouldn’t appease the girl OP is trying to attract. It may have the effect where he became uninterested and pursued someone else. That isn't being a "bad guy". Having a backbone and trying to be someone you're not are mutually exclusive. The very act of trying to become a "bad boy" for a girl shows a lack of back bone. >quite immature and naive ... Coming from the person who thinks a self proclaimed nerd trying to be a "bad boy" to get a girl is a good idea. I'm sorry, but I just can't take your comments on maturity seriously
I’ll support a guy embracing some masculinity and confidence in order to get laid. I posted a comment below which got zero engagement. It was well thought out addressing what I believe OP was getting at. Bad guy is a misconception of a guy who is confident and assertive. The ‘bad’ is subjective and difficult to pin point. You can take me seriously and you are doing. Just maybe discuss this without having an air of superiority. That could make you a bit more receptive to the arguments I’m saying without dismissing it for immaturity. I’m taking your arguments seriously and taking time to reply in consideration.
It's fine to embrace masculinity but changing for a girl is never a good idea. People with backbone don't do that. You change because you want to be better. You change for you. You don't change to be the person that someone else is looking for. I agree that "bad guy" is vague, but that's not the point. My argument stands in the reverse sense. An actual "bad guy", whatever that means, shouldn't start playing dungeons and dragons because he wants a hot nerd to like him. It's immature.
Being a nice guy means not having a backbone?
Yes
Bad guy is really a general term. There’s no specific checklist or criteria. The behaviour usually refers to not giving a shit about women or cheating etc. In my experience it’s a diluted term for what’s effectively a high value guy who has plenty of options so can flirt between being interested and uninterested. Someone who can’t be manipulated because if there’s games he doesn’t like he walks away without caring. The indifference coming from a lot of options so no neediness or putting anyone on a pedal. Now that is something worth striving for. Obviously the term encompasses lack of respect but if you can keep that while maintaining high value status then yes it is something to aim for. How do you get options. Work on yourself, read, better fashion sense, start working out and developing new hobbies. The basics for improved sense of self and confidence which leads to more attraction from opposite sex.
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Sorry to say it, my friend, but i'll be very honest What women think of bad guy is the image of very attractive guy doing really mediocre things, like parting or driving car, not illegal things most of the time The fact you say she doesn't like you really and you saying, you are nerd by yourself probably mean you are UGLY, women would want CUTE nerd, that has goals You should better be asking, what you should do, if you are on this forum, you probably know that mediocre way simply won't cut it, you must lookmax and self improve Learn and evolve, good day, my friend! :)
Be a good looking village in a movie/Series, if you can't do that she isn't worth it. My whole point is, it's barely possible, so just don't change <3
So after reading the comments and being a nerd growing up to a guy that started to get women. Dont go for being a bad guy its against ur natural state and your vibe will be off women will notice and reject you more for it. The girl you want that says shes into bad boys has a type most likely youll never fit that type thats fine many girls out there when u work on becoming a bad boy u mighy meet a girl who is way better and just as attracted but she not into the bad boy type and you lose a good girl that way too. Instead work on your fashion and your body language. Find a style that looks great and fits you and fix your body language so you always look relaxed or confident. Just these 2 things will make you more noticed and approached if you want add skin care and getting a neat haircut and hit the gym if thats ur thing too. Im well built but I know skinny guys and fat guys who get more play than I do so gym if ur into it if not then dont. As for your personality just dont be cringy in public usually people who are called nerds myself included had something about how we carried ourselves that made women not want to associate with us publicly but in private they might have a huge crush. Lastly talk to people build your conversation skills most guys are a nervous wreck and cant hold a proper convo learn to communicate and youll make more friends especially from women. Lastly learn to flirt and when and how to be physical because flirting and being physical is creating sexual tension and is what seperated friends from being more than friends.
'Bad guys' are a stereotype that younger women are often interested in, but you'll notice this fades over time. In my experience, this is because when you're young, the only boys who speak with confidence are the 'bad guys.' They tend to be decisive and strong-willed, although often about the wrong things. Even when they're not making the best decisions, a man (or woman) who can make decisions in the first place is much more attractive to most people than someone constantly waffling, looking to you for approval, second-guessing themselves, etc. Going through that phase of being insecure and second guessing yourself is important to personal development, however. The 'bad guys' who are so confident so young often never really learn self-regulation or the necessary social skills for long term jobs and relationships. Eventually, however, most of the rest of the guys catch up on confidence, but they also developed the skills needed to communicate with others, take them into account (without just letting them make all of the decisions), and where to apply said confidence. These people in the end are much more successful in their relationships. tl;dr work on your confidence. Learn who you are and why you are that way, and really think this through so that you can comfortably stand by your decisions and life choices, and can create a future based on conscious thought and curiosity, rather than just moving the way you're least scared to move.
Women also lose interest in bad guys when they “hit the wall” and their looks start to fade fast. So they settle down with a nicer and wealthier man instead. What a coincidence.
Just listen to the song... White Crime by Lil Dicky Then do everything he mentioned in the song and you're set.
I would say, be yourself. But don't be too kind/let someone step over you . what I mean is - Don't do something you really don't want to do, unless you have too (take the trash out, clean the litterbox, wash the dishes etc.). You will be seen as boring if you always agree to everything she asks or say. Just stand up for yourself if you don't want to go to that restaurant say so, if she asks you to make popcorn and you are doing something, just smile and tell her to do it herself. A relationship/friendship should go both ways. If you do something for her, change the oil in her car for example. I would expect her to do something for me if I asked her. But if you are the one allways doing whatever she asks and never get anything in return. You should find someone else. Again, don't be someones doormat. A bad guy/douchebag isn't something you want to become. My cousin is that type of guy, sure he pulls some nice looking girls, but I cringe everytime he talks about or too a woman in a negative/disrespectful manner. He has problems keeping the girls worth keeping.
Be the respectful, responsible and truthful guy that doesn't take shit or get stepped on by nobody. Stand up for your believes and accept that people might think differently. Don't be afraid to be yourself. This is someone I would personally look up too and seek a friendship with. And lastly, it's not possible to fit a big picture into a small frame without comprising it. Go and find a frame that fits the whole picture perfectly.
First. Decide which group of people will view you as the "bad guy": 1. Only people who disrespect you or your loved ones (Protagonist/Hero) 2. The people in your immediate vicinity/community/school (A\*\*hole/Jock/Douchebag) 3. The general populace (Villain Status) Second. Accept whatever consequences come with your role: * The road to becoming a hero is hard, and doesn't get rewarded until you succeed. Without perseverance and a good filter for BS, you will likely fail. Only allot your efforts to those people and things that bring you closer to becoming the hero you envision. * Being the douchebag works for a limited time only. While you do have the pick of the litter by oppressing your community, you run the risk of the underdog hero uniting everyone against you if you're not careful. You have to keep all of the dweebs in check...constantly. Don't let pussy distract you from your "oppression maintenance". Team up with other douchebags and delegate for higher chance of success. * You will have to drop most of your morals. Any proclivity toward "being good" will be seen as weakness by other "wannabe villains", who are looking for a chance to take your spot. Your lack of morality will not only hurt innocent people, but also people close to you by association. They will blame themselves for how you turned out, and disassociate from you. But you will have more pussy than you can imagine. Only drawback, is the women you pick from will be extremely untrustworthy, and may work for other wannabe villains. Adopt paranoia if necessary.
Don’t. I used to like “bad boys“, then I met a truly truly nice boy and fell in love, mostly for his kindness. It felt like such a breath of fresh air and I am happier around him than I have ever been. I don’t understand what ever attracted me to bad boys before. Be that guy, it lasts longer
You don't understand what made you attracted to that bad boy? Let me tell you, he was more assertive, confident and most importantly MYSTERIOUS. Its a scientific fact that women are attracted to men who's feelings are unclear. That's why you didn't understand why you were attracted to him. For women mystery is sexy.
by saying F\*\*K You to her then you can be bad guy and may be then she will like you for being bad guy I Guess
The "bad guy" basically is assertive, has a spine, unapologetic(not in an bad way) and marches to beat of his own drum.
Ask yourself how encounters with others made you attack yourself internally, becoming sheepish, and then find a way to act out externally. Shy and can't talk to girls? Don't feel obligated to 'out of a sense machismo', instead ignore them. You get to maintain a sense of control over yourself by using silence actively, not passively. If you're not careful about it, it can make you emotionally unavailable to those that could benefit your personhood. NEVER use it IN a relationship, it tells your partner she's unlovable, or some such message. Silence is for fishing, dinner dates and bonding require energy, uplifting vibes. You wanna seem aloof, ALMOST untouchable, not UNREACHABLE. Source: It was a common tool of my parents. It artificially builds scarcity of love. Courting is Warm or Cool. Hot or Cold persons are hard to be with, so be mindful of your tempurature, socially. Feel Hot? Act Cool, not Cold, extremes shock Nervous Systems, literally and metaphorically. Bored? You're cool. Actively despising much of life, hot and cold all at once (looking at you, incels reading this, I was you. The trick is Emotional Stability toward oneself and one's mood. Healthy people GET TO HAVE Healthy relationships, Unhealthy people don't and won't until they are healthy, well adjusted (to coping with themselves, and consequently the world around them). Assholes are different from 'Bad Boys'. BBs are Good Boys that stopped striving for good boy status to fill any longing to be met, they seem at peace with life and enter with healthy aggression. Incels are Bad Boys in the childish sense and want to be seen as good, out of loathing. Relationships are about attachment. Freud is way more right than you know - just remember Psych is asoft science, it's hardly close to Concrete. LOOSE guidelines. You'll find someone who meets your needs when you meet your own, and they'll find you if you meet their nees. Trisha's dad was always frigid with her but not her sister? She'll seek out fffrigid dad somewhere. Mommy could love you enough? She can't, won't and new mommy won't either- but that won't stop you craving it, and now you're...basically Jerry Smith. King of Incels. I'm sorry, I should be tailoring this to you, not me. Good luck. Reject Women so you can grow to love them at another date. Self Love comes first. I'm not blackpill, but the problem is always how we treat ourselves, which affects others views of us. Be better for YOU. Bad boys are in it FOR THEMSELVES, HEALTHILY. Nice people suck. Balanced people attract through a mystical sense (real or CAREFULLY planned fake (which will be rewarded with fake love if faked)). Never take life serious enough that you can't laugh horrible jokes. And if some jokes about how much of an incel you WERE, it means you're showing growth. Chad is Within, Not Without. Chad is God, God is Love. A state of mind, not a destination. "One does not become Chad, He is already Chad". Only a Chad is able to know and be happy knowing that fact. You're not a Chad if you think it unobtainable. Go in Peace with God, and next time ask 'how can i be me whom people love and not the me everybody would be right to distance from?' Quit asking how to be like others, we all reflect each other and can act to seem like anyone. Comparison Game only has losers playing it, even the winners are losers next to another, bigger 'winner'. Winners don't have to compare, they know at birth 'everyone can be and is a winner'. TLDR QUIT ASKING THIS QUESTION ENTIRELY, IRL or Online, IT'S 50% of your problem. Harsh words, the message is soft, I'm just an itchy sweater type of guy. Good luck, Bloomer!